The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hatchet Kai
Episode Date: January 20, 2023The guys review The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker on Netflix. ...
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I'm Big J. Okerson.
And I'm Dan Soder.
You can listen to a full two hour long episode of The Bond Fire on Series XM, or with the
SXM app.
It's easy.
Go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer.
And now The Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder.
It's a mean thing to do with people on a Thursday.
This is play this song, because then all weekend they're gonna have me.
Yes, Ben.
Yes, Ben.
Yes, Ben.
Yeah, you.
Yes, Ben.
And then it's the best song to wake somebody up with.
Oh man, when you do.
Yes, Ben.
Did you hit Frenoya with it?
Yeah, we got the Sonos.
The first day we got the Sonos, and you can control any speaker in the house from your
phone. Yeah. And I just, I turned it up to 50. You know we got the sonos the first day we got the sonos and you can control any speaker in the house from your phone
Yeah, and I just I turned it up to
50 and
Just start with that so he was asleep. We're no he was just laying in his bed. I guess he went to sleep
But he's he that's been
I'm surprised they impose tapestry off the wall. No, they already came out. He was like what did I'm gonna shoot I'm surprised that you pull his tapestry off the wall. No, dude. He came out. He was like, what did?
Like I'm gonna shoot my computer through the window
Yeah, dude when you're surprised like that
You try to figure out because I bet there was at least seconds where he was like is this playing on my computer?
Is this me? Where is this coming from? Dude, um,
Is it a hard laugh I had that I forgot? I don't know if I ever told about this for some reason.
It's gonna be on the birdcast that I just did. Yeah. We talked about it, but I forgot about it. Remember we had roped in here?
Yeah, you were the guy. Yeah, yeah. Who has got roped? It wasn't me. He did me mostly. He didn't
roll from, I didn't get roped.
It was rough, but then we had that again.
When roping, if you don't know, is like deep tissue,
they hurt you.
Like they hurt you.
They hurt you to make you feel better.
Yes.
And we had that done on that show, Cabin and Dianne Cole.
I forgot about this.
Something happened with him when they were roping him him and his face was through like the little hole in the massage table
Yeah, he started I mean blood started coming out of his mouth and nose
What like like a hex and everyone trying to act like that was normal the the rulfer guy's like
Oh, yeah, yeah, sometimes that all you know that'll just happen really
He goes yes, because a lot of the bad things
and impurities are coming out, it goes,
so this is a massage where someone
I'm gonna read the blood flies at here,
nose and mouth.
It goes, that just means it's working.
If I'm really in there.
We do just hear that Bert left when he was recollecting that.
Every one of us, there was like a,
they had to bring like, medic's in and everyone,
everyone's just trying to play it cool
because the insurance on the show, like, oh yeah, yeah, no, is it still are you still coughing a blood?
What is what was it the producer that was like this is fine who said it was okay? Was it the rolfer or the producer that was like?
Yeah, it was a producer playing it down because if it was happening to me, I would you would have heard like noises that are not mass like
I've got a church. I want to go into a church. I want to go into a hospital. Hey guys
This rolfing usually calls stig moda. Yeah, am I am I showing signs of the profit?
Do I need to hide from my local church is this a demon being expelled or guys am I the son of an angel and then I was hidden with an
Alcoholic lady sometimes rolf's get the demon out of you.
Ah, the Azo Babies, deep within you.
I draw him out, then I fight him.
Here you go.
You guys ain't bringing a role for you, brought in an extra sister who also does massage.
Take me, demonical!
Oh, keep me, satanical!
I am here to battle you once again.
Take me, leave this boy alone
The exorcist loves blackish you will not take the uncorrect
It is the bonfire yeah he had span
Great the bonfire yeah he had span great throwback it's been I'll tell you what I do know for sure it lose got ready though what's up roast
beef and Swiss coming up top
yeah buddy I know my loo someone said an article that there's a lady
or I think a lady tweeted us or said an article that she got a black eye
for being in the stands and someone was like Turkey Swiss and now top left
I like that more than the front-end pack
I got I got a spig anyway with meatball coming up
Okay both work Someone tweeted us that she got hit in the eye with a hot dog gun and it was like a black
Save it. I think I say what a direct shot dude
You guys on purpose you think she was like going this and this guy's wet. All right bitch
Or she turned the corner too quickly and he had it locked and loaded and we were writing down every time we curse
Quarter two quickly and he had it locked and loaded and we were writing down every time we curse Emily what do you guys?
She's auditing she goes that's two times he said bitch. Are you reporting back to us?
Apparently these guys think it's funny when people get hurt
Domestic abuse pro domestic abuse damn it in save it. I thought I saved it
So funny
To an on weed up top Tum, he was that is so funny. Um. Tum. Tum, Tum.
Tum.
Tum.
Tum.
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Tum.
Tum.
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Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. and I feel it's only right since we Showed the abomination that is the Cowboys on on the week that the 49ers play the Cowboys in the playoffs. Yeah, Sunday
night
Let's watch this video. Yeah, you see I can trust that you could pick up any Eagles fans on it's gonna be pretty good
Towns built on soul, you know, I mean you guys you guys did a cheap you guys did a cheap move and you just took now if they're wrapping over
Metallica now it's okay to do that now say sampling show me ref it doesn't involve
It's insane for you to say that did walk into that it's sampling. I didn't have an argument. There's Levi Stadium though
Beautiful Levi Stadium. I didn't know that's for the work. I know I see
I get a couple pairs of Levi's distress
I'm in some Wranglers and I'm telling you right now. You do where Wranglers don't you?
No, what do you wear?
It does seem like a lot of your jeans are good like if you fall if you fall off a horse though
Like you'll be fine. Oh these are padded jeans
Damn, they stick denim. I buy from only from supply stores
Dan's making this thick denim. I buy from only from supply stores.
They're in truck stops.
It's real thick denim.
These are for real cowboys.
All right, let's play this fan song.
Black Lou, this is good.
Look at that empty parking lot.
Yeah, that's why they took the shot there.
It's a drone shot.
Let's chill out.
You can do a drone shot on game day.
Jay, I didn't make the video.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So far, it looks like you could have.
Travis King.
Dave Kent Canal.
I thought it was Cannell.
I thought it was canal.
Dave K.
Dave C.
It's Dave C.
Anel.
Shot by Trevor Lobb.
So you're giving all the shout outs.
All on dude.
Keep grip.
I gotta leave eyes in there.
This is cleaf music dude.
Can you bring a... Can you bring a B40?
Bang bang, nine are getting.
Just to clean the palate.
They're gonna find a child porn picks in this guy's phone this kind of music always breeds that
So I make a music for eight-year-old girls. Yeah, it was this 13-year-old in Ireland
Yeah, but then I'm a honey
Did you did you send that story about the teacher that you sent me she sent that to the bonfire about the woman that
Adopted it it was like blindside, but she was fucking the kid. Oh really? Yeah, yeah
She adopted in the fuck him. See here get the volume on this. I think maybe dude in house BBC nothing wrong with that
So Steve's been asking me to adopt a 30-year-old black guy adults adopting adult
I've always liked to be a stranger
She's look she just makes the as you meet him. She makes them do push-ups to see how long they can go.
This isn't fair, Dan. This guy's a professional.
That's what we have. Sorry. Four Niners fans are professional.
And that was an absolute stadium.
All of his teeth are like jewels. It's funny corn
Slowly and off the plate not off the cop. Can you floss diamond teeth?
Here's I just made a thirty six thousand dollar mistake biting into that
Yeah, bring up that news story is it did you send it to with the email?
No, Twitter.
On Twitter, are you DM'd it?
Yeah.
Check the DMs on Twitter.
He just had this, like, starting at the age of 13,
was like, his language arts teacher.
She's like, at 14, he started living with her.
Like, she got partial custody.
And then they're like, yeah, at 15, he started banging with her like she got partial custody and then they're like yeah 15 he started banging her
Really I think Christina to teach her to try to get her to move across the country
What didn't she yeah, but it wasn't it was nice like she offered to adopt me after my mom died
That's how she and that would have been monster you'd have been going around the lady killing men
She was trying to die get with you and Michigan,
or whatever, where the rules are fuzzy.
Come to the woods with me.
I'm going to eat you.
I'm going to tell you how to eat pussy.
Pussy.
Pussy.
You're final lesson, Christine.
You've reached the final lesson.
This is it.
Is this real?
Because the website looks fake.
Yeah, this actually is real.
I searched it on a couple other ones. And it was coming out. They spend money on field reporters and not so much on fonts. Yeah,
well, we don't have people that build websites as much as people that write the story. The River City
Post says teacher charged with making her adopted black son her personal sex slave making for
years. Words slaves put in there. This is inflammatory. This is trying to be inflammatory
Black a little my crazy. This guy's just getting some pus
How was he? What's crazy? She's a year younger than me and you're like oh, man
I'm the teacher's now hey, Dan don't you say that dude you can still get a teenage black dude if you want it
Thanks, dude. Hey if you put it out there you can get so much teenage black dude if you want it. Thanks dude. Hey, if you put it out there, you can get so much teenage
black dick.
You go, just you, Soda's been hanging out with a lot of it.
A couple of big time McDonald's all started.
Have you guys met Dequan?
It's a quick soda all the time.
He says he's an assistant, but he doesn't really do anything.
He just really laughs hard when a soda says things.
They were from high five and essentially hugging pretty quickly in front of us.
Did you guys see that black kid giving soda a shoulder massage before he went on stage?
It was crazy.
And also did you see him passing?
And I walked in, they didn't freak out when I walked in but I felt like I walked in on something.
Do you know what I mean?
I felt that vibe.
The energy?
Yeah.
They weren't doing anything but I feel like I interrupted it.
I just feel like they always want to be alone
Who's gonna go to the bathroom the same time?
They have inside jokes that I'm not comfortable with I'm just not comfortable with them
Yeah, can you go back up to the top where it has the info on what this lady? Oh wait a second never mind. I didn't realize she was ugly
Yeah, oh I take it all back A former Ohio teacher who sexually abused her student and had the teen's baby
is now being sued by him. Brilliant move. He had that in his cap the whole time. He was
like, when shit hits the fan, he molested me. Oh man. The first time he said that, the
first time he said that at dinner, where he goes, I wouldn't use that tone with me. Oh man. The first time he said that, the first time he said that at dinner,
where he goes, I wouldn't use that tone with me.
It would be a real shame if the authorities knew
that you molested me.
Because we are in a relationship.
He goes, boy, I sure would hate to call the cops.
So yes, I do like to put ketchup on my chicken.
Yeah, he goes, hey, give me a doctor pepper from the fridge
and she goes, get it yourself.
And he's like, he goes, man, I love to.
I mean, the phone's right next to the fridge.
What's going on?
I wonder if I can show the cops where on the doll
you touched me.
I don't know if there's enough points on that doll.
Yeah, I mean, he's suing her.
So that's where you're like, okay.
Even when he cries about it, he has to talk about how he's still like drilled or good
Yeah, he goes like and that's what she made me slower back out on the thing. Oh, I gave it to her good
She said harder so I went harder
Then I started choking her. I get pretty aggressive.
She would make this noise.
That was happened between a scream and a yelp.
And I was like, oh, it used to turn me on so much.
I would come.
So hot.
I was the last.
Then I fall asleep.
And then I was talking to myself.
And I thought, man, fall asleep.
Yeah, because he's hitting that age where he's like 15, 16,
and she's like, well, that's when he started fucking.
And you're like, I'm a Ruby in 16.
Yeah, do you know what happened?
I got what he was doing.
I got molested by my football coach.
I know.
We went to, we don't put it in.
But I asked for it.
I know what you're trying to.
I showed up in his office and I went,
wanna run one down the middle.
If you think you got old old enough and he was like,
yo, I'm banging the white lady who adopted me.
And then someone goes nice and they went,
oh, she's ugly.
And he went, I mean, she molested me.
Yes.
I'm in this stuff.
I'm always saying he goes,
oh, I've been fucking Miss Quinn for a while now.
And he goes, he is.
Miss Quinn, he goes, yeah, she takes advantage of me.
Woo, shit.
I mean, but, Got out of that one.
He's got a bag of fire and ice condoms.
He's holding on his way home from CVS.
Just put it behind his back.
Hi.
Hi.
I would have had to say was, yeah, right.
She takes advantage of me.
She makes my bathing suit area weird.
Are you right?
Laughing at molestation.
That's what Emily's writing down right now.
Phil. Laughing at molestation. Okay. what Emily's writing down right now. That's all that's laughing at molestation
Okay, that's a pretty big red flag. Okay, and we look into these guys at all have we checked these guys phone records a little thing called the deep dive
We're gonna get a call from Jim on Friday check computer history. Yeah guys
We just got some notes back
I am watching what he's what's triggering her what you're saying that's triggering her
to write something down.
And I think she's making this kind of face before she does before she writes I think it's
always this kind of face like it's the same feeling I had when my when my doctor back in
the day when my doctor was like how many drinks do you have a week and I was like I can
tell you what I have at night and he he was like, what, 10? And he was like, oh. Okay.
Dude, I watched John Cardin go through a medical fear and he should sue his doctors
for the way they did this to him.
He got blood work done.
Okay.
Which immediately I'm giving you my trust.
He got blood work done and then he came back
and we were hanging in my room, watching the shit
and he goes, huh, I guess my blood work came back. My my white blood cells like really high, which means it's like fighting something. I was like
What I don't know anything about my that's crazy dude. He goes. Yeah, I should let me call them about this and he calls
And they go oh Mr. Carden. Yes, hang on a second. No, and then they made him wait like 15 minutes on hold
Then they call him we just smoked, dude. So he's definitely like.
Wait, he's going up.
Yeah, he's on the way up.
Yeah, and they go, um, can we do a video call with you actually in like 15 minutes?
And he was like, yeah, sure.
And they call him and he goes like, uh, he's like, oh no, and he just took the walk back
to the comedy condo.
Like freaking out about this call.
And then that was all that was to, and he just wanted to walk back to the comedy condo.
Like freaking out about this call.
And then all that was to tell him
he had a urinary tract infection.
Damn.
Drink cranberry juice.
How crazy is it to put you through all that?
You can't say that over the phone.
Yeah.
That's wild.
You know, uh, do you, are you a fairs in order?
No.
It'd be funny if I tell you the story goes,
and then it's like like it's just herpes
He's got herpes everyone. I don't think he was supposed to that John card is living with her
He is HIV and you can live with that and you can and it's almost
Undetectable if you take that thing those guys on the TV take before they kiss
You know those guys that are having an outdoor game meal
I always have to go if I take it before everything's fine, then it shows them taking it and then it shows
them out at dinner and it's like, you know they're gonna fuck.
He goes, every time I have a book, Jason.
Yeah.
Gay dates always end in boo-foo.
So I gotta be ready.
Oh my god, chicken limon, take me a little.
Have me here with capers. Oh my she thought about writing something down there. She went,
can we ask where she writes? She's like this. She goes, I'm going to record it. Pull that one out
if I feel like I'm losing the battle. She goes, I'm going to write down time codes.
Oh, shit. Should we dig into these? We've watched a couple documentaries.
Yeah.
One, one we can get through pretty quickly,
we should start with first,
which is the Kai documentary.
Yeah.
The on Netflix.
A lot of people tagged us in it being like,
because we talked about it.
I don't even think we need video
a commitment to this one.
There's nothing really in it that we haven't seen.
The only thing worth talking about are the people they interview that were behind the scenes
pushing Kai. They got everything they deserve. That's the most interesting.
So the documentary on Netflix is I think called the hitchhiker. The Hatchet wielding hitchhiker.
The Hatchet wielding hitchhiker on Netflix. Yeah, and that was a video we watched back.
Long time ago.
I mean like seven years ago.
And it was a viral video from like 2003 or something, right?
It was 2006.
So man.
11 I think.
Okay.
2011 or 2012, because I remember drinking
and then finding that video and I thought it was.
It was 2013.
We just discovered him in like 2016 in the show.
Yeah, but I remember this girl
He used to date and I always that was like a reference when we get hammered at a bar
Smash got smash a match a match
So nine years ago
The telling thing about Kai that I did find funny when they cuz you know
This is like a altogether compiling of the things in the interviews. He's done
I liked it more than once,
while he in the middle of like smiling laughing,
he turns to a camera.
And this one, they main one he did,
and one or two others at some point he goes,
oh man, you know, I'm just cruising, hanging out
and surfing.
You know, you deserve love, no matter what terrible things
you have done to other people.
What horrific, no matter what crazy things
you've done in this world.
Unspeakable.
Anyway, the waves are cresting time for me to hit the shore.
Nothing like the sun kissing your face in the morning.
Also if you've ever really hurt someone.
I mean really hurt someone.
You're forgiven.
You never really kill a man.
His soul just leaps into yours.
Sometimes the demons need to feed
And if they don't that's when the real problems happen and that's when he's got you back to me in sunny and happy
Know about the Kai the hitchhiker are you aware of this at all?
There was a viral video years ago in a news story by the way
We're speaking to Emily Stoolpige and the newest employee. Yeah, Emily the snitch.
She's wearing a wire.
Emily Tatletail of the Connecticut Tatletails?
She's coming down here to expose the whole thing.
For sure.
She goes in and all goes through one Jacob a ton.
I'll flip quick by the way. I'll flip quick.
I'll be like, check Jacob's hard drive.
Check it. I don't even know.
I don't even use a computer. I'm scared of them. Go.
I bet it's dark. Jacob's has sex with dolls in his mom's house.
I'm a simple country for everyone that a bus. I don't do stuff like that.
He kills the guanos and Lulus with his brother who I think they brought banks.
I don't know. Just get it off me.
DJ Lulus gave her pay. Look at his shirt. He tries to hide it with stickers instead of
just not wearing that shirt.
I can't. He could just not wear the shirt.
Damn dude, was it double laundry day?
It's such a comfortable shirt.
It's a nice shirt.
It's emotionally comfortable.
It's also a comfortable lifestyle if you just get into it.
It was supposed to be gay for pay, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You ripped the G off, guys.
Oh, I did.
No, no, no, there's just tape over.
It's just gay for pay and you put black tape over it.
No, it's still there.
Because honey didn't want a meal.
It's missing a piece of tape to take off.
He didn't want people to know he's parties.
Why do you have that?
Why do you have that?
I know, right?
Yeah.
You're not to be at my job.
I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know why you have that.
You have to cover it up like it's an FBI document.
Okay.
All right.
No, you got to fix the G
Zero dark fruity. Oh, no, it actually ripped. Oh, it's hilarious. So now it's but people can still tell it's gay for pay
By the way, it says gay for pee You made it worse. You made it worse. You made it worse.
You made it for me.
You made it for me, dude.
Joe the Rose was in here.
He would die right now, after that.
You ask for that smusher.
You made it for me.
There's nothing worse than a zany bitch.
Oh, man, when this song plays it's like there's magnets in this guy.
I love it.
Oh, I know.
I never thought that way.
I was on top making jokes, but the bottom was going.
You just automatically move.
Once you write that down, Emily, once you say that we're dancing gay and living out loud.
Why don't you talk about the fact that we all are.
I'll see you jot in that down.
All of our torso should be covered in glitter.
Do you want a fuck?
Won't you tell me now?
Yeah, we're all fucking out.
Um, anyway, Kai.
Yeah, so he, there was a man uh, a man ran into, uh, a service worker like a PG&E
electric worker and then got out of the car.
He had him pinned.
And it was saying that he was Jesus and he was going to kill him.
Dude, that guy was cooped out, man.
Yeah.
And then these two women, he grabbed one of the women that was trying to help the man
that was pinned and, uh... this big guy was holding
a woman and guy was hitchhiking
and he had a hatchet
but i was in the car with the guy
that's what you find out that at first at first that's what the documentary i
didn't know that
i didn't know that you know i thought he was like passing by in the guys car
so the original story they say like he was passing by and he had a hatchet and he
hit the guy three times and saved this woman
the man didn't die went to jail or whatever and he hit the guy three times and saved this woman. The man didn't die. He went to jail or whatever.
And then through the documentary, you find out that he was smoking a lace joint with
the guy, which is crazy.
Well, he gets there's an accusation of that.
But they said there was no.
Like what they said, they did the Hux College, you stuff, there was no.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
There was no.
So he's lying about having a lace joint.
But he also like, guy, you realize this is a guy that would be in the car going like, dude, you're Jesus,
man. Yeah. And then when he goes, I'm Jesus, he goes, this guy's wacky, huh?
Guys, cooped out. Dude, that guy was cooped out, man.
So the documentary is about on, and you can watch it on Netflix, but if you,
don't mind spoilers, we're going to talk about it on, it, on the documentary,
it talks about how immediately he was like a viral success, the producer
of Jimmy Kimmel wanted him on all these, this woman that worked on the Kardashians wanted
to do a show like a reality show about this like happy hitchhiker.
But they keep bringing it up at the documentary, which is true where it's like, they keep
leaving out the point that this guy just willingly took a hatchet to another dude's head. Third third strike was
Blade side too. Yeah, he did one two dull side third side with the blade. One two. Hold on. Yeah, flip and
let's really do it's like that's what they finally, sorry, says finally documentary like
Whatever you say by this guy like saving people and everything like Finally, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to be. And this guy was like, they try to put him on Jimmy Kimmel
and they put him in a nice hotel room
and he immediately drank a bottle of Jack Daniels
or he was like,
buried it in the big, right here, like a real bottle.
Yeah, like he's bullushi and fucking animal house.
He drank that shit down and they were like,
Okay.
And I love that.
I told you every time we see a celebrity
in a commercial Katie and I do the director,
the commercials over, where you go,
ain't like the Paul Giamatti is Ike Einstein.
Dude, I swear to God, I was going to interrupt you
to say, yeah, Paul, because every time
the commercial, I can't even watch the commercial
because I see him, I go, what happened man?
We do, it's a great, who do you owe money to?
Were you on draft kings for two long?
Did you lose any money on draft kings?
We do two things, we do the pitched apology and moddy,
where he's like, well, I'm not gonna sacrifice my own person
or so if I'm being the commercial and they go,
I'm gonna play Einstein.
And he's like, I'll do it.
And it's just like a bunch of them
when they keep doing the go.
Well, Charlie Chaplin probably needs Verizon,
so he'll play Charlie Chaplin next.
And he's like, I want it, let's do it.
But every time there's a celebrity in a commercial,
you like the Kevin Hart Draft Kings one,
we always do commercial director. We're at the end of the commercial. We go and cut that was awesome
Kevin. Yeah, that's gonna come out
hilarious
That is so fun. That's the energy that all these people have coming down
You were yeah, we honestly we had to stop the crew from laughing when you barked like a dog
It was like Kevin. Where do you come up with this?
It's literally what that documentary years ago
kind of said about the reality show things.
Those people all describe, I mean, they're dimwits.
Yeah.
You don't feel terribly bad for them
because they're kind of trashy shitty people.
But they really came into the show
and they're like, for the first day, we felt like,
like, yeah, they take us.
They put us in the nicest hotel.
They say
Get room service empty the mini bar. They don't care. They have booze for them backstage and they're limo from the hotel
It's like rock stars and then when they're done, they're like the fuck out of here piece of shit
And that is your baby like my 600
You are the father you fucking scumbag look at it. You're staying in motel six you hunk of shit
I'm not like my 600 pound life people. They're probably like
They just fed me, they just kept feeding me,
because the producers are like,
you know what sounds super yummers right now,
is a pickle sandwich with doughnut.
God.
That's all I never wanted to eat.
I'm gonna like, fucking,
you got all my, oh my God.
We also find out about that.
Dude, those girls, when the cameras all go away
and that door closes and you just see the light
close that are fucking crazy forehead stomach.
Yeah.
And then just sit there in the dark
and til production shows up again.
Weird breathing.
Dude, the noises of them eating, if you woke up
and just heard that around the corner it would scare you
You know, what are they gonna feed me? It's mouth closed back of the throat no stuff
But here's the thing they don't need people feeding they need people being like hey, this is a doctor and their
Enablers yeah bring them exactly where shit I love my 600
pound well the stranger did bring up the picture of them in the car the
strange addiction people too where the like like producers and they're like you
know what we got you a queen size phone mattress you can munch on oh thank you so
much yeah exactly you shouldn't know this woman should not be a mattress I So much exactly I'll eat to a paper
Guess what turns out the shaman bears can buy
Oh
She just died then put it your way out
She holds it on her finger
There's a doctor there's like this is gonna kill her look at the garlic
Yeah, there's my favorite thing on the show
It looks so it looks like a split screen of two different things happening
Yeah, it looks like also they have to show that she needs like a whole extra seat belt situation
I know it is when it's called but it just seems me to want to person that big.
It looks like a fighter pilot.
It seems like a fighter pilot.
Are you about to hit muscle?
What's going on?
I'm about to go on.
How many?
How many?
How many?
How many?
How many?
How many?
Cougar.
I need you to calm down.
Cougar.
Pay attention.
You know what I'm saying? I'm going to get you. I need you to calm down
Cougar pay attention
You know he's like look at his face is always like come on big mama don't get mad. Oh, it's a good jiggle How do them my guests?
No, the book has to do
But all these come on mommy you already sit in the back seat, but all of these like reality TV producers have the same energy as
commercial producers were there like
Yes, that was incredible. You see that in the Kai documentary
You see that you see that woman be like Kai was
instantly wanted to just watch him and then they're like
So we got a hotel for him and he was the problem. He pissed. Yeah, he's a homeless man
Like he pissed on the leg of the president of ABC and he was honestly as close to Farrell as I've ever seen a human being.
What funny is that he was on Jimmy Kimmel was a flat iron just hair. That was their big
move. He's going, you know what we're going to do? We're going to give him some of the
fire. They flat irons. That was their whole move. He should have permed him. And then
it gave him a same thing. By the way, they gave him a surfboard and a wetsuit on Jimmy Kimmel.
Yeah.
As a gift and then said, we'll drive you anywhere and they just drove him back up state.
California.
And let him out.
And he's let him go on the side of the road somewhere.
They're the way the wetsuit.
They're the white fangom.
Get out of here.
Go.
I hate you.
You guys sure you don't want me to come back.
And then sort of the local news guy who does this
interview. Which this guy he goes he tries to do that. He shows up in the wilderness to see
kind of see if he recognizes him like. You know those videos where the lions come and tackle the guy
and he comes back. Like his face. Yeah. That's where he was trying to do this guy. He's like he's like
smell. He knows it's big dude.
I know it relates to what I do is put the American dad
when they try to redo that.
Yeah, oh my God.
It's whatever's name is like, it's Casper.
And like they do like a split screen,
they show the whole thing of Casper being raised
and then having the leave and being set free.
And then they start running towards each other.
This wolf just starts eating and goes,
it's not Casper, it's not Cas cash per. It's not cash per, no.
Well while we're here, I'll tell you a reference.
I wonder bring up on American Dad
that I'd never seen him make is when they get into bowling,
when Steve and Stan get into bowling.
One of the videos, the strike videos
is the tower's going down,
and it's pins, it's celebrating.
Like the videos they do, one of them's Kennedy,
and it's Kennedy as a bowling and gets knocked over and you know
Actually other ones over the strike videos on America dad were one of the funniest things I've ever seen
But yeah, so Kai the hitchhiker the documentary the guy the main news the local news guy from Fresno shout out Fresno
Shadow Fresno high. By the way, who's on the water? Who really has got himself in some kind of shape guy. Let's talk about the I don't want to talk about guy
What do you do meal prep? What is it?
Cardio?
Cardio?
I went from being like by the way not an unattractive gentleman
You know well, you're gay for pee. Do you think he was a good-looking guy when you watch the documentary?
Who would talk about the first news?
Fresno guy the guy who's basically narrating the whole thing.
Oh, yeah, he really turned himself around.
He looked like a slub.
A bit of a slub.
And now I would say dashing.
He is dashing.
And he also, what he does is he has that like hustle mentality brain,
where he's like, he's calling me right now.
You want me to pick up?
That kind of thing or is it like that?
I can talk to guy.
He's my best friend.
And then you realize they've only hung out a couple times.
It seems like that clear.
It also seems sort of very much like Kai, not that big of a fan of his.
Yeah.
I don't know, you kind of a dildo.
Kai has a certain way of communicating with people.
Like that was his role for the rock band.
I can understand, I speak fluid Kai.
Yeah, you're like, it's not Jody Foster and Nell.
It's like son of a... I'm not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not I just showed you as fucking jackal entertain top teeth. There's a that's the lady that's like I really
So fun by the way the interview like the family of the guy he killed or the neighbors the neighbors
Yeah, the guy he killed the old man and the guy who knew when he was a kid like his cousin or they're all like
Yeah, he's like fucked up
I don't know what you guys think I was gonna be so awesome. Yeah, they talked to his cousin or they're all like, yeah, he's like fucked up. I don't know what you guess this guy was going to be so awesome.
Yeah, they talked to his cousin and he's like, well, you wear a
kids' history normal. There was a there was a darker side doing
and he's like, I love it. His mom's like, I was just proud he's on the
TV. Yeah, she has my guy wouldn't do that or what? I think my best
guess on Kai because I don't think this really summed it up very well
at all.
I thought the documentary overall was pretty whatever.
Yeah.
You didn't tell the news story at all.
Now, there's no, like, new information, really.
Other than, like, they said the documentary, the value of it is what you said right here is these people.
You really see the tools that are...
The people behind that are like, oh yeah, this guy should be like made a star tomorrow for doing something insane in the streets. Yeah, and they all got what they deserved. That's the only satisfying part of something like, oh yeah, this guy should be like made a star tomorrow for doing something insane in the streets.
Yeah, and they all got what they deserve. That's the only satisfying part is we're like,
well, it was just real hard to be around him. He wasn't stable. It's weird to let him back out
into the wild. You're like, yeah, you fucking yeah, but I'm pretty sure my best guess on him is he was
molested as a child or something. Through that, I think he's done some,
he survived by probably doing some gay for pay stuff, Lou.
Not like you, he does it for money, not just for the dick.
Not just for the pay.
Not just for the pay, the way you're into.
Man, I can't believe how you made that such a,
it's so much worse.
Gay?
And then by the way, in principle, he says,
like, it's just, you know, I'm a guy.
Yeah, for pay. Gay for pay, dude. probably this for, I'm a guy. Yeah, for Pete.
Okay, for Pete, dude.
Get for Pete, dude.
No, you know.
If you don't know, no, you know.
But um, he was, something happened to him, Terrible.
I think he does that.
Like, I think he would fuck guys for a place to stay
because I do believe that old man, the way they were hugging and he just gets to stay with old men for a while.
And he always always seem like an older gay guy who like there's a camera angle they show
them weaving at the train and the guy the old man says he was raped by a man.
And the old man really gives him a let me get one more just.
He's like he's leaving and he goes get body so tight.
And he goes oh come here let me hold you one more time.
Look at you.
Look at you.
You're so fucking strong.
That hatchet swinging really done good for those arms.
Oh, you're a real outside boy.
Yeah.
I like you.
I wasn't allowed to smell the nature on you.
I wasn't allowed to touch boys back in the merchant marines.
But now they call you an Indian, send you back stateside.
But I killed him in Korea. Let me.
Let me tell you.
Something happened to him, bad.
And now and someone described to his, he's, he's, he's a, he's a guy monster.
He's the movie monster.
It's what he does.
He goes and I think a nice old man who wants to do something gay with
him does something gay and then he's like, he just snaps and says you molested me and
it kills him.
He's like the team that turned his teacher in.
Yeah, yeah, it's a real through line today.
Okay, I guess I think I'm going to murder you because I realized you raped me.
I guess.
I like the newspaper goes down he goes.
Say what? I get to pull that one. Did you hear it, Tom? I guess I like the newspaper goes down he goes
They're approaching us. I think you rave me mr. Anderson
How are your fruit loops?
You know hang on no, no, no, let's have a conversation about that
Yes, and he's kicking my ass this week
You rate me What I just heard your pop talk
The flop in the paper No, what's that? Yeah, I mean, it's I he murdered that man. It's pretty obvious. I don't think he's arguing it
even. Yeah, because that was his way of like the subtle confession was he went on social
media, he's like, what would you do? I mean, rape you when you had come running down your
face. Would you kill him? What would you kill him? What would you do?
And when they take the next thing is like getting a little nard and are over here on self-beach
And then when they bring him into the police to question him and they go like he's like is there a death penalty in New Jersey?
And they're like they're like we can't talk to anymore. He goes. I said to you
like we can't talk to you anymore he goes, uh, I said to you my age.
Um, man.
Go ahead and get a good,
what's the penalty for a crime like that?
Is it you?
Did you, did you,
I think he raped me.
What's that love?
They're coming up,
they're coming up.
So, Kai, I gotta tell you,
you were an animal last night.
It was only a coffee.
I took me two minutes to almost sit down.
I'm telling you,
you are an insatiable lover.
I thought you were going to tire me and I'm surprised you were going to keep me going
that long.
I haven't been drained like that since the 80s bathhouse.
He took advantage of me.
What's that?
What's that lover?
Yeah, he said that the first night he went there, he says the guy fucked his mouth while
he was asleep.
And then he said they watched movies and he fell asleep and then woke up.
Malfucked.
Malfucked.
And then, uh, and then he was like, I'm leaving.
Then the guy paid for him to, or he went, he went to leave and then he couldn't get out of town.
So he went back and the guy was like, sure.
Man, going back, it's got to be rough where you're like hey miss the train
Can I stay another
He's like
Sure I want to watch a movie again. He's like no
Are you gonna sleep just as heavy as last night? Yeah being a hot hitchhiker's like being a hot woman
He's like I'm gonna make me stay with you
But that would be my best guess, would be that like,
he just snaps and starts killing.
I think that, I don't think that old man,
that old man couldn't rape him.
You know what I mean, it was a really old man.
I mean, if we're putting bets on a fight,
there's no way I'm betting money on him.
No, that's what I'm saying.
So nothing he couldn't have drugged him and done it.
It's just, I don't think it was.
I think it was an old man who got excited because like
I think I was picking up a hooker and I think I was like fine with that and then like snaps
Yeah, and so that's basically what the documentary goes into yeah, and then you know he's in jail forever
Yeah, I think he got like how long of a sentence 57 some years or so, right? Yeah, so he's he's in jail. Please dead
Probably how old was he when you went in?
24
It comes out at 75
Smash 34 now. Smash 34 now you
Can't go to McDonald's because here's your food sir, you raped me. Oh, not this guy.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Well, we watched that documentary.
And then we watched another one that you sent the clips to us.
I give some time stamps.
Yeah, we'll take our first break and we'll come back
and talk that it was this place rules
that you watched the last yesterday.
Yeah, I watched it yesterday during the day.
Which is, if you haven't, I like to, you're actually a little fresher
probably on some of the things to pull up.
But I have a couple of marks that really made me laugh.
I mean, dude, some of that.
Good documentary and just like, I am really enjoying.
It's a horrible thing, but the aftermath of like the,
the wake of, well, tovid and all that shit.
Yeah.
Like really all the shadow lamps are the same thing. It'svid and all that shit and like really all the like shadow lamb is the same thing
It's just people looking for some purpose and trying to believe some shit. Yeah, cuz he got everybody
Everybody that he put on camera look like an asshole at one point. It was great
Bobby's here. He's saying what the fuck is he doing here?
Tell the colonel yeah, right?
Hey Melissa want me at five is what he's asking. Tell the phone now. Yeah. Right. Hey, Melissa.
I thought he told me he couldn't do the pre-record today.
He told me that this weekend.
I was wondering why he wasn't here.
I didn't know what was going on.
He told me that this weekend that he couldn't do.
Can you please, if he asks who you are,
can you please say you're with the company just monitoring?
Please.
Please.
And then also when Bobby says anything that can
be construed bad right just start right
anyways and if actually right down what he says in fact any of this is reported loose this
can be part of the show right we're back spot fire facts talk series X-103 we're telling
Emily stool pigeons to to and Bobby Kelly is on his way in and when he comes in to every
time he says something mildly off color, write
it down and shake your head.
And yeah, shake your head. That's big. Or just like disapproving. Just like, oh my God.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I am.
Emily, remember when you moved here to be a big time actress and not lose shadow? Yeah.
Can you move your thermos to the other side so you can see the writing?
You're with the call in the lifestyle lifestyle a hag since lose gay for pee
Just I have a new she goes home. She's like I have a new gay best friend
His name's Louise from New Jersey. Bye because everybody's by that goes no this guy is gay for pee
He is butch eat. Yeah, I'm much dicking this fucking guy's sock.
How much? Damn. I'm dicking to myself. How much?
We are going to talk this place rules here in a few minutes,
but we are waiting. He's here. He's in the building, right?
Yeah, he said he's coming up.
He's coming up. We have Bobby Kelly coming in.
We'll explain him a documentary.
That's good. It's always good to have a person to explain the documentary.
Emily Stoolpages is going to really make him uncomfortable. I like that. Yeah, this is gonna be great
Yeah, no, don't worry you will
Yeah, he's gonna be I later he's gonna call me later tonight. I'm gonna be like watch TV's
I'm like, it was she really from series dude
Like did she really work for the company did see Bobby's gonna come in that's gonna be a lot
He said early. Yeah, we uh, I was a little Bobby
What early would an early come he's the opposite of a Gary he shows up early and hey, hey, hey for you dudes
Hey, dude. I was wondering
This is your favorite muffin right a body on the way here
I know
Such a simple laugh, but it caught me all weekend when Bobby was talking about acting.
He was at the actor studio.
What's your favorite word?
Dead.
That's a fast and slow soft.
Dead.
Dead.
What's up, Jacob?
I'm thinking you really triggered me
with the whole celebrity commercial thing.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think I should be this nice with pens oil. I think I was too nice with them. I sent them a nice
letter when knowing they didn't bring me my jacket. Yeah, they
fucked you over. Maybe they didn't bring you the jacket when they
came. He brought me another shirt. And I had a nice letter. You
weren't here. I was gone. I was feeling billions. Jacob wrote
him a really crazy and the letter ignored him. He wrote a stand letter, but yes, no, and I'll wear this jacket like in life
and represent like the thing.
It was so hard.
You told them you were like,
Penzoil, is it?
Oh, friends again.
Penzoil is in a sponsor.
It's a lifestyle.
It's what you were giving them.
And they were like suck a dick.
And they didn't bring you the jacket.
Exactly.
Maybe they want real people, real fans like Kevin Hart, right?
If he said he was gonna
Reprenso they'd they'd so him a jacket. They were a guy would wear my dogs in the house. Oh
Right that's the shit you want right they would run
It's great pencil oil. It's oil. They go to call coca-fascow around track. That's why we shit a Connie's oil
Hey Hocking any chonies they throw in front of them. Oh if they would run it to his door They go to call go fast go round track. That's why I'm shit. A con is well. Hey,
Hawking any charges they throw in front of them.
Oh, if they would run it to his door, they would run the jacket to his door.
You they can't oh my god.
Yeah, they are a drag.
A guy couldn't get there.
If the rock was like, I want to wear a pencil, jacket, they'd be like, I bring it to them.
They don't care about the regular.
They would build a seat, an extra seat in the Lugano's car for him to, to, to, to be
the co-pilot on the, on the, in the car form during a race.
If you're looking at what I say the same thing, I feel the same way about why do I not have
seats at every Eagles game and floor seats for every sixers game. I rep it hard and they
give it to people who just will look good on camera to be there.
There's also the give it to people that will promote it.
That'll be like, I'm here, Courtside and all of us would feel uncomfortable.
Well, you want someone who's also not overexposed like Kevin Hart.
Yeah, I barely see him.
Yeah, I don't even know.
Somebody authentic.
Oh, that's the real him.
Oh, he's probably working diligently behind the scenes of Kevin Hart's LOL radio channel
You know
Kevin Hartz you know you should do is you know well channel you should get Kevin
When you when you talk to him about promoting the special you should get Kevin to put you on LL radio
Just put an episode of bonfire
Drop a drop a bonfire on
There you go. It's just a drop a drop a bonfire on hard on heart radio on hard to heart or whatever it's
called.
Hard to beating heart.
You know, I know great last name to play with all the time.
He's heartbeat productions.
His symbol is that annoying the hard thing against the work for him sunset heart hands.
Yeah.
Any crap hole that they put in front of him.
He'll he'll do a commercial for. You're not wrong. Yeah, any crap hole that they put in front of him. He'll he'll do a commercial for you're not wrong. Yeah, I
What is that I don't understand what he's doing?
I say where dogs it's where the dogs that it's draft Kings of the draft Kings and you know that he went cut
That was
Awesome Kevin, although I do know that I do know Kevin up to know though that there's a outside shot
He's deep in to draft Kings for something
and he did a commercial to get himself out.
He'll make.
Okay, now I'll put $30,000 on the rockets.
On a truck.
Back off.
Back off.
A double down, six million on the next, the next night.
Bam, there are.
He ruined watching sports for me because I,
that drag Kings thing is on every break.
Every time they do the, well they'll make what you're watching
Yeah, picture and picture and then it's him. Yeah, and it's like you already know how
It makes everything so easy as go on my phone and throw them a lot of way, but you
I guess that's what you want Penn's oil somebody authentic and real it's
Your favorite the bonfire
It's your favorite, the Bond Fire. Thanks for listening.
Don't forget that the Bond Fire is a radio show, a full show.
We got a studio and everything.
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