The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hero Dan Soder

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

Dan saves the day for one of the greatest pranks in Legion Of Skanks history! ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to a full two hour long episode of The Bond Fire on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy. Go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now The Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Oh It is funny when like the gay bands at the time just all their songs were back girls. Yeah, you just know they had to like
Starting point is 00:00:40 But at least George Michael sent these songs back girls damn like bitching about them though He's like, oh, there's the slimy vaginas. Yeah, everything she wants everything she sees. What a Gabby bitch. Oh my god, it's like stop it. You're fucking. I'm gonna kiss this low maintenance boy. Hey, look at this starter. I have a baby. I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me. That's pretty hilarious. Could you imagine it be knocked up a girl? She's pregnant. ghost. Oh no, me beards become multiple beards. Oh no, I got a double bee. I got a bee in trophy now. Oh, this is gonna cut into my public bathroom sucks fest sessions. I'm not supposed to foot tap when I'm a dog. We're normal. We're not meat. I can't be given brain the strangers in bathrooms if we have a little chap. I can't be going to the bathhouse getting tinned around
Starting point is 00:01:30 Yeah, he was gay none Zero no gay dar didn't understand yeah, but you you were still at that time in history a liberachi was still that people are like I don't know could he be gay? Yeah, that's crazy. Liberace, you always seem like a gay thing to me. But George Michael, you so put together, it's sort of just obviously made sense. I remember when I found that when they said he wasn't fat gay, I wasn't like a shut up. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:01:58 I wasn't like, get the fuck out of here. No way. He was pretty murky. He was saying when you see him, you're like, yeah, it was gay or asexual But George Michaels very sexual. He just called dudes girls for the sake of music smart. There's smart totally smart I want your sex come on Greg Come on, Eric. Do you think you ever submitted the lyrics before he changed them?
Starting point is 00:02:25 He's like, oops. Yeah, penciled down. I do believe that for sure. Boy, I stopped in the bunch of boy. I want you six. Giga, giga, giga, giga, giga, greg. It honestly clicked with me when I said, ah, that's why these supermodels are completely comfortable, rather than around in this video around in this video. Oh my god, there was a zero pressure situation for them.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Totally comfortable. Girls, when we're on break, could you please put the ropes on? Hey guys, I love your hands. You like it, Chulji. And he goes and goes, oh, her icky parts got near me. You, a slime mouth just touched me like. Do you think I got it? It's always wet! Do you think there were women around him that refused to believe it? Even if he was like... Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I am gay and they're like... No, you're not. She's like, no, you're not. You just love that I suck your soft dick for 12 hours straight. No, you love having gummy worm-weather. No, you're not gay, George. You just hate my blow-jobs and perfect body. You just hate the way my barely been touched
Starting point is 00:03:29 vagina feels on you. It's my- it's my fault. My pussy's too tight. I'm too hot. Yeah, I'm sorry, George. Forgive me. He's like, maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Cut your hair off and do something weird. Can you get super jacked? Can you do something weird with it? Everybody can smell my dirty pussy. I thought at one in the videos, I wonder if he banks in decrovert. No, no, no, no, sure, but the guy who put her outfit on he definitely 69 with that guy flying 69 would be my bet I bet they did tumble sauce 69 while turning because you're completely connected You know I found a pretty big hill out back
Starting point is 00:04:14 Maybe we could suck each other off and roll down the hill George. I didn't know my throat was that deep Thank you for exploring that me suck a fuss Do you want to do a do suck a fuss when we roll down the hill and then another man pushes this back out? A little bit of Suckafus. Can I and tell the story with Dan? What's the bonfire for? It is the bonfire.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Faction Talk, Series 6, M103, I'm Big Jogerson. That's Dan Soder. Hello. We're hanging out with our crew. We are. This is. We're hanging out with our crew. We are, this is, so Dan Soder, while not even being present physically,
Starting point is 00:04:51 was part of maybe the greatest moment in Legion's game. I mean, like, if it's, if it's in the Mount Rushmore now with the poem, which was a zillion years ago now. I mean, that's one of my favorite episodes of a podcast all time. It's one of the best, because the zillion years ago. I mean, that's one of my favorite episodes of a podcast. Yeah. It's one of the best because the infectious laughter.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Yeah. Lewis reading hit the poem he wrote his girlfriend from high school. He also has funniest. Yeah. Or not even from high school. This one he's a man. This one he's a- Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Oh my god. It was when he was our friend. Yeah. I knew the girl he wrote it to. Alex. Yeah. I go listen to the poem episode of Legion's Game. Episode 19.
Starting point is 00:05:24 You gotta go ways back. Or you could also just listen to the poem episode of Legion's Game. Episode 19. You gotta go ways back. Or you could also just listen to World's Worst Poem, Legion of Skanks, and you'll find it on YouTube. It's great. Coming in hot on its tail. The episode last night, where's Jacob? He left, he doesn't like to talk about Legion of Skanks.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Jacob has to hear the story. What a fuck. Jacob just really doesn't like it. He says, uh, we know what? Just care about camaraderie. Well, he's going to do this thing. You want me to do, uh, we got a letter in the mail along with a flag. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:56 An American flag. Um, it says, thanks for being a consistent form of entertainment out here. Love the show. I look forward to each episode this flag was flown for a mission here uh, and that Certified under Has their info. I don't know. I can't tell what that says the patches are from my squad hope I put enough in there for the whole crew crackle crackle T sergeant. What does that mean you think Jacob? Is that a thing tea sergeant?
Starting point is 00:06:30 Patch is cool shit the patch is super cool No, it's something sergeant Zachary Johnson bring that right. Thanks Zach Zachary go Niners. Yeah dude and just for Jay flag goes fly. Oh Very nice very sweet T sergeant. I hope I'm saying that right or I'm gonna idiot just calling you sergeant You look it up. There's something called T sergeant So I'm going low T and none of a stuff from it. Oh, it's got some men leave me as a testosterone sergeant. That's cool Maybe it's testosterone sergeant that's cool Pass very very awesome flag is unbelievable. Jacob's gonna frame it and hang it up at his house He was very
Starting point is 00:07:10 Jacob like laid claim to the flag. It's an honor, dude. It's always not it is an honor I want to frame in my house now for my buddy John. Yeah, but Jacob came in it was like I want I'm taking this fucking patch And I'm proud to be like a American Where at least I know I'm free. And I'm Bradley stand up next to you. Jacob, you ran out of the room and I was getting ready to tell you the legend of Dan Soder. Dude, it was, I honestly, I was like one of those receivers that team sign mid season and you're like we have this one play You're like I can run that play. Mm-hmm. It was exactly what it was. It was
Starting point is 00:07:54 Perfection Jacob, I need your full attention for this So Jacob stop wrapping yourself in that flag. It's disrespectful. We had a subject. This isn't rocky. We had a subject On this sheet last night that I brought up and it was coming down to Dave Smith and Lewis J Gomez and me I think we're all now I guess me and Lewis were both asked To be a part of this documentary You would you talked about with me yesterday? So I actually had context on it, because yesterday told me,
Starting point is 00:08:27 Oh, yes, right. You were like, hey, this Tucker Carlson produced documentary about comedy is happening, and I'm not doing it or whatever, we kind of made fun of it. Yeah, this girl. We were talking about edge lawyers. She reached out, and I never got back to her personally.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Lewis got back to her, did the interview with her, so she was very nice. In the interview, he told them all about Dave Smith. Dave Smith's got a history with you know the Fox news shows He's going on and you know these political Sarmic Moore never just made sense. I bet on Kennedy countless times and and quite frankly hilarious So he'd be great. He would be great for this Dave Smith and Lewis finished the interview went home and quite frankly hilarious. So he would be great. He would be great for this Dave Smith. And Lewis finished the interview, went home, and then I guess a day or two later,
Starting point is 00:09:17 got a message from this girl asking for Dave's number. Now this all plays out on Legion of Skanks, which is going to be available. No, no, I'm behind that even still. They know the story though, but yes, does you'll hear the story on Skanks? Yeah, as well. But for a recap here, she reached out to Lewis, can I get Dave's number? Lewis gives Dave's number and it moves on. Dave gets a text from this lady a few days ago that he did not respond to. And it is beautiful this text she sends.
Starting point is 00:09:42 So excited that Dave will do it. Really wasn't gonna be a part of it. It it. Is she be honored to talk to him? He's very important for comedy and he's got she's gushing in the text. She's gushing. Dave didn't answer. Then she writes back yesterday morning and goes, Hey, just circle back around with love to have you be a part of this thing. You know, you're amazing. Again, we'll do anything to make it easy for you. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that.
Starting point is 00:10:06 We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that.
Starting point is 00:10:14 We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that.
Starting point is 00:10:22 We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on that. We're going to be working on she believes he is Dave Chappelle for some reason. Some reason that we cannot figure out we're puzzled by it. It's 20 minutes of the show. Just saying they're thinking of how this could have happened. And finally, somebody maybe Lewis himself goes, you know what? Let me go back and check my texts. Maybe this is my fault somehow. Yeah. Which, already, let me tell you, as someone, and we've both been friends with Lewis
Starting point is 00:10:48 for over 15 years. That acknowledgement, yes. That self-awareness is growth. Yes, that is. It's progress. It's progress on a man, if you've listened to Legion of Skank's specificening,
Starting point is 00:11:01 or you used to listen to you know what, dude, it is daddy's growth in a way where you're like wow Lewis check themself He was like maybe I maybe I maybe this is my bad so he goes and checks his messages and When he checks them he starts cackling For his like what very much like the poem episode. He starts laughing. And I almost asked him if he wants me to read it because he can't get through it.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah. He's trying desperately to get through this thing. And what he sees is that he did not pay attention to before, was before she asked for Dave's number, she sends him the, you know, that, which we call it, that article that says, SNL writers boycotting a shepel episode and a bunch of them like bailed on the week.
Starting point is 00:11:51 And then goes, this would be a phenomenal topic to talk about in the documentary. Do you have Dave's number? All Lewis looked at was, do you have Dave's number? Just couldn't be bothered with the rest of what she said. And he sent Dave Smith's number and she reached out to Dave Smith believing it was, now here's the best part is why he's cackling. Because then she writes, you have to understand now, she is under the belief that, she can't believe how easy that was.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Yeah. Do you have any contact with Dave? Here's his number. The greatest comedian of all time. Just, you're just giving his number. Willie and Ili, which probably Fox news, the whole thing is just like she can't this is huge. She probably called her dad and told me to go fuck himself. She's wrong. She was going to be a real journalist. And so that's where
Starting point is 00:12:37 I ordered she did the thing where she picture them becoming friends. And then she wears the logo all the time. It's so that's where we're staying. Then she says to Lewis, again, he just answering her like, and Lewis is really doing, you can tell in his responses from what Lewis read me. Like Lewis is just like, he's like, what are, yeah, what are, he's on whatever, so he goes, yeah, he goes, yeah, here's Dave's number.
Starting point is 00:12:59 She writes back, oh my God, thank you so much. Is it okay when I speak to him? Should I say that I, you know, should I mention your name or should I just, you know, Oh my God, thank you so much. Is it okay when I speak to them? Should I say that I, you know, should I mention your name or should I just, you know, say that I'm calling from Fox News? He goes, you should definitely say my name because he is, this is a quote,
Starting point is 00:13:15 he is the closest thing I have to a brother. So now, she's living under that when she sends Dave Smith Smith those two beautiful messages. So we're just laughing at all this going on. And then we go like, well, who can do an amazing Dave Chappelle? Well Dan Soderkan. And we go, the plan is, let's get Dan on the horn. And we'll Dave Smith will call her from the his number that she thinks is.
Starting point is 00:13:48 He's already sent a thing saying, Hey, I got a few minutes right now free. If you want to chat, you know, she wrote back that would be amazing. And then we're desperately getting trying to get a hold of Dan. I'm on the other end of this, what's going on? And I'm talking on the show, you see, we're all texting. We're all calling. Yeah, so I'm watching Jeopardy turn intermittent of champions, eating dinner with Katie. And then I start fire up God of War. And I'm playing the new God of War.
Starting point is 00:14:18 And I'm like, laying there, and my phone is always on. It doesn't make any noise. I have it on silent, I remember. So I just look at it. So my phone was facing down on the couch and I'm just like laying on the couch with my herdele and then I'm like, I flipped the phone over and it's like, miss call from J, miss call from Lewis, miss call from Dave, two texts from J, J's texts. Immediately, I know it's not an emergency because you know, just call me whenever you
Starting point is 00:14:40 can. It's a Legion of Skanks thing. Fun funniest thing ever, right? And I'm like, oh, all right. And so I pause it and I call into the podcast. And I'm like on speakerphone and Jay, like, what can I say? What's going on on skanks at this time? Yeah. So now we're starting to worry. It's been about 20 minutes trying to get a whole dance. We're like, Dan, I think we didn't catch. I was in Niefelheim with fucking a Traist fighting, okay? Yeah, a boy. Equifer of arrows. Leave it, Legion of Skanks is calling, boy.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Boy. So what would happen is we start thinking now, like who else maybe can do a shepel? I don't know, I can't think of anybody else and Lewis goes, well, you know, Mike Figgs does great impressions. Maybe Mike Figgs can do one. you know, Mike Figgs does great impressions. Maybe Mike Figgs can do one. So he calls Mike Figgs answers right away.
Starting point is 00:15:29 And he goes, Louis goes, Figgs, you're on skecks. Can you do a Dave Chappelle impression? He's like, ah, probably. He's like, can you do a force right now so we can just like hear how good it is? And he goes, and then I hold up my phone that says,
Starting point is 00:15:44 Dan's calling and Louis is hanging up on me. He clears throat. That's the funniest timing. And then he was just bagged on him. So funny. And then so Dan calls and we go, I explain him the whole story. And Dan's like, yeah, I'll do it. And what's funny is, so Lewis is saying the ID is like soda when you talk to her
Starting point is 00:16:07 Be like hypersexual weather, you know, I mean and Dan In his comedic brilliance just goes not I know I'm gonna dial it always back I'm gonna keep having it go back to me and Lewis Jay Gomez. It's like friendship and how important is And we called her on three way. We muted the show. So at first, we moved the studio audience. So at first, Jay's like, so to do, you should tell her real quick. And so I just, you know, he's like.
Starting point is 00:16:32 You do the market. Yeah, the thing that I do when I'm bored on stage sometimes, not bored, but just like being silly or whatever. One of the things I'll do, I'll do a deviant gay sex, John Mulaney, or I'll do Dave Chappelle explaining white sports Which is just fun for me to be like Jamal Croquet was invented by a black man named Jamal Croquet and it never got to play that game
Starting point is 00:16:56 Or I'll do like hockey history and so I do that when I do it. I do it kind of loud and Katie you Katie was in the bedroom and she comes out, she's like, dude, you're yelling and I was like, oh, fuck. And she's like, it's fine. I just wanted to let you know because our neighbors are fucking gay and they've gotten mad at us for smoking weed
Starting point is 00:17:18 and being awesome. And we hate that. They got, one of our old neighbors asked us to, they were like, their bedroom wall. Did you move away, please? Yeah, it was nice. I need you to be a bother. Would you guys mind moving out? During the pandemic they live next to us and they would like they wrote us a note that was like hey you guys are up very late What in like loudly watching movies? It was the blackest I've ever felt and they were like, hey stop because we're trying to sleep and you guys are yelling at the TV because Katie and I just make fun, you know, lifetime
Starting point is 00:17:49 university shit. So with her saying that I was like, fuck my bad. I don't want to, you know, ain't trying to piss over neighbors. So I took a myrtle on a walk and that's when Dave called me. It was like right when I got outside so I can go full volume. So while I'm doing, I told Jay what I'm doing the prank phone call, I'm just walking around, just doing a shapel impression. And this guy turned a corner and saw me, it was like, like you could tell, he was like, what the fuck, what is this?
Starting point is 00:18:14 Well, because what did, and you know, obviously listen to Skanks when it comes out, if you have a subscription to Gastage, you can watch now, but it's, it was so, so we call, James. She was so excited. The second I was like,
Starting point is 00:18:27 Oh, it's funny about it. She was so excited. So excited. And I dropped the voice a couple of times, I fucked up. So if you listen like, I nail it, I'm gonna forget the voice, the things you were saying, the preposterous things you were saying, but she wanted it to be real, so bad.
Starting point is 00:18:43 She just did the, it's your favorite thing in the world. Jay, yeah, she just kept like, okay, and Dan, I don't want to give any of it away. You know, obviously listen to it, but he was just like, he was at Lewis J. Goman. I'm a man. My brother Lewis J. And then she'd be like, we give an example of it. I'd be like, uh, so Dave, like, I mean, with the state of comedy, like, you're'd be like, we can give you an example of it. I'd be like, so Dave, I mean, with the state of comedy, you're in like, it's gotta be a lot for you right now, huh? And that's why I need people like Lewis Jay Gomez.
Starting point is 00:19:13 He's very important to comedy. A lot of people don't know this about Lewis, but he's very liberal. That's what I said to her. I was just trying to get this for seven, eight minutes. I just kept, every time she got, I tried try to go the opposite way or pull it back. For seven or eight minutes, the only time I crack, beautiful. The only time I cracked was at the end where I was talking about how much Lewis wants to fuck feet. Yeah, I was like, oh, okay. Well, I don't all right.
Starting point is 00:19:39 She loved that by the way. Very into Lewis. She's like, well, that's pretty crazy. Super interluous. But the best is like, yeah. So Dan does this thing again. It was just so he, he, he, he, he gets a, you know, he, I just on the phone. Good. Frank phone calls.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Shout out to like Jim Florentine and crank anchors and all those things. Jerky boys and shit. I grew up getting in trouble for doing prank phone calls and shit. So when Jay was like, do you want a prank phone call lady doing Dave she's like, yeah, let me put my shoes on. We go outside out of here. I want to fucking be able to, but it's like I, it was the as someone that likes like that loved doing prank phone calls growing up or never. This was the perfect setup. It was not my number. No. All my friends are in a room. It's never had to say you never did.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Norhead, did you have to say I never said I was Dave Chappelle. I never said I was Dave Chappelle. And parody law. parody law. parody law. Do they think they're she thinks you guys like brother and then the best thing was so she says and I said this on Legionist gang so I go you can tell this lady doesn't know comedy because she thinks she'll tell him who's her brother.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Brothers, she's with that. Not even that so much as she then texts, she just like, you think you hung up. She texted. He shared it. He blew a screen grab. Oh, I told him to send to you. I let him know. I said, I go send the photo because he's going to want to see the result.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Oh, man, I mean, really, really, maybe a lot of it. She texted, uh, Lewis. She goes, just puked Dave. Thank you so much. She texted Lewis. She goes, just pucks Dave, thank you so much. He thinks the world of you and all capitals, the world of you. And then she wrote back to Dave Smith, who she thinks is Dave Chappelle. It was really beautiful hearing about your touching connection
Starting point is 00:21:20 that you have with Lewis. And then she keeps flirting with Lewis through Dave Shibot. She's like, I guess he's got a foot fetish that I should like, you know, paint my toes next time. It's, it's perfect. Yeah. It was a perfect storm of situation.
Starting point is 00:21:35 The mistakes that were made that led to that moment, that woman was operating all night. She believed under the idea that she does interview Dave Shibot. I I mean or that she had a quick phone call It was I can't wait to listen to that. Yeah, it was it's so good to hear that then you were and I say this on behalf of the Legion's Gangs podcast and all of its fans you were Page intrigues. You were perfect. It was so goddamn good. You see you got a standing ovation in a room That's hilarious that you weren't in
Starting point is 00:22:06 Over a phone over a speaker phone. It was crazy. Yeah, I mean speaker phone leaning and then a hero comes along I mean it was the perfect setup and you know shout out to Tim Butterley who is there and was like Tim Butterley and my granny and my dad me dad me podcast fucking rules those guys will go by on perks Yeah now from my great so funny and butterly was like just caller Yeah, you recommend it's caller now and I just came out of the bullpen it was I was just you know I was just being Kratos and fucking shit up. Does that make sense butterly was like caller now Yeah, is that we want to set it? Yeah, someone on Twitter was like shout out to Tim butterly was like, collar now. Yeah. Is that what you want to say to it? Yeah. Someone on Twitter was like,
Starting point is 00:22:45 shout out to Tim Butterley for the IG. He's a Justin Collar now. Just calling her. Yeah. I mean, he was showing up. Any time a night that could have been when she's always Dave Chappelle, when hey, can you talk now for like five minutes?
Starting point is 00:22:56 She was like, perfect. Yes, yes, absolutely perfect. And to her credit, she set on the phone. She had 1% on her phone who was on a train. Yeah, she was going for it. Oh, so she's distracted. So any, you know, when I fell out of the voice, I was like, I, if I can just get the next one,
Starting point is 00:23:12 she's busy, you know what I mean? You have like the, she's so funny. She's like, comedy's in a weird place, you know? It's like, it takes a lot of these kind of voices to get us out of here. And that's why Louis Jacob is that voice. I just kept every time she'd bring it up. She was like SNL,
Starting point is 00:23:28 and like challenged people. I was like, the Lewis is challenges people. She's not even. It was challenges people every day of his life. And that's what makes him so damn incredible. The least thing she's baffled by is the fact that she has never heard of before or the past, not Neil Brennan. He says not Neil Brennan, not Moammer, not the people that she has never heard of before or the past, not Neil Brennan, he says not Neil Brennan,
Starting point is 00:23:46 not Mo Amhert, not the people that she pells like put over that have gotten these things. Tony Woods, Louis J. Gomez, who you were unaware of before this, is brother, the closest thing Dave Sheppell has to a brother is a guy you just heard about right now. That's fucking hilarious. The one that I got in there where that almost broke me
Starting point is 00:24:07 besides the foot fetish one where I was like, I just keep telling Lewis that gas digital website doesn't work. Oh. That was killing the room too. It goes, the website goes down. Can't the stream break. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:20 And this lady just, if you could hear her voice, she was just like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she was thrilled. She was very, very nice and very if you could hear her voice, she was just like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was thrilled. She was very, very nice and very, you could tell very like, oh, wow, I'm on the phone with, and she didn't realize she was talking to a big headed dumbstone or walking his dog.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I picked up shit while talking to her. Myrtle laid a nice couple ropes. And she couldn't believe what was happening in her life. It dialed down and it was, I'm on the phone with Dave Chappelle. a nice couple ropes and she couldn't believe what was happening in her life with dial down and goes I'm on the phone with Dave Chappelle. Yeah she goes there wasn't. I'm gonna go clean off some room on my mantle for my Pulitzer. I'm gonna shake shit up with this. Wow. Never said my full name was Dave Chappelle so. Never once. You didn't have to. as soon as Dave called her she is where she goes hey Dave Yeah, so for you to get to hear that because we had to link the calls then
Starting point is 00:25:10 So it was the weird then we were all sitting there in dead silence for about 10 seconds where she's like hello and then David Man, yeah, the episode everywhere on YouTube on Friday gas digital network dot com even though I mocked the website Legion of skanks always Just putting the best situations It's done. I'm telling you make it all the sting. I went home then and watch the Eagles lose Yeah, it took all the sting of it. I was like, yeah, they were due for I was in such a loose mood I was like, you know, what they were due for a long time I didn't know what the reaction was while I was doing the phone call
Starting point is 00:25:47 I was just like saying shit that would make me laugh. Yeah, I'll make this Lewis laughing I thought there was a chance that it could take me off mute and they'd be like, oh, that was fun All right, and then Lewis got off and was like dear. I was off to heart of a emotional. Oh, yeah Now I'm telling you the whole room. It was that's awesome. That was awesome. Chanting soda. They get chanting soda. It was awesome dude. It was like a real cool thing to just be like Hey, can you do this stupid silly thing? And I was like ab so it was like the opposite of being asked to move Dancing some of us like nighttime pants for sure. It's this. Oh my god. I was in my I was in my comfy's Yeah, it was in my comfy's playing video games had a glass of ice tea in front of me Just really enjoyed myself
Starting point is 00:26:25 Mirtle by the way P Dan pooped hit for the cycle nice during my during my Dave Chappelle walk like to hear that like you're that Well your Eagles are still eight and one they are eight ones which isn't bad, but I will say What are they eight and one? This makes me laugh though because at the end of the game, I was still able to smile for one thing. Is it Carson wins? More of the Eagles poor guy. Not only the Eagles destroy him emotionally that his backup came in and won a Super Bowl. And then he couldn't get back next year.
Starting point is 00:27:00 And then also went out for a bit and Nick Foles came in. And I think God, I'm like a Super borough, but playoff, I forget. Whatever was cars and wins were just never successful with the Eagles again. And then they drafted Jalen Hertz and they got rid of cars and went to Indianapolis, did nothing. One and done. Uh, and then went to the commanders first game this year. They played the second year.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I think you got traded to the commanders. Yeah. They, the first game they played this year, Eagles. What do you call them commanders? Nine sacks on Carson Wentz. This is the bully job. And they beat the shit out of them. Then to now come back, Carson Wentz is back with an injury
Starting point is 00:27:39 for weeks. And their backup quarterback has been winning games, getting them back into the play of like, you know, wildcard, maybe I think they're five and five high in key high in key at Trevor high in key. And then at the end of the game when they beat the Eagles the only undefeated team in football. So it was a big climb big deal. To go even you beat the best team arguably in football. Yeah. At least record wise. And then they just show Carson Wentz with a hood arm the sideline. And they're just like, I think we could officially say after this, this is Tyler Heinecke's team.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Jesus. I think the Carson Wentz error is over. You showed him, they're really gonna thing another. It's an infidelphial on the sideline again watching his backup quarter. On both sides of the ball, home team and away team, he's sat in Philadelphia and watched his career get taken away by a fucking backup quarterback. I will tell you, that's nuts. I have a soft spot for gingers.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I hope he finds like, I hope he stays in the league, bounces around. He will. And he's going to have some very resurgence years. That's what I'll be like with it. But it'll be just that year. I'll be very excited for Carson wins to have like a fucking good deal for career Yeah, but go but go for out of decent career. He stayed the starter. I'm talking about like a redemption arc Where Carson wins comes back in for like the lions? You know what I mean or some random ass team a young kid goes down He comes in and wins them games and he wins them games because it's magic style There was a guy named something like that. Maybe they'll fit magic. Yeah. Yeah, look up this guy Bobby Brister
Starting point is 00:29:10 Bobby Brister was on Eagles. He was on the maybe yeah, he was also on the I know that news on the Broncos And he backed up John L.A. And he was just like this kind of older journeyman and he came in when the bros Yeah, Bobby Brister with an awful name. He came in in one games and everyone was like oh shit, Bobby brister can fucking play Hey, Bobby brister And that's right, Bobby brister when tubby, Bobby took the field the Broncos, noom The lady on the phone thought Dan was Dave Chippell and he played it to a D masterfully No, I fucked up dude. I blew the voice a couple times. There he is dude and then he went to the Steelers
Starting point is 00:29:52 I think I don't know his career was but see see let's see what teams he was on because I got a Steelers there it is he was on the Eagles. He was me. He was right. Oh, I see it. it. There it is. 86 to 92 on the Steelers than the Eagles. He was for a year, by the way. That's like my second in the last year of high school. So Bobby Brister, I remember that. Yeah, and then the New York Jets for a year. And then he went to the Broncos and backed up LWA, 97 to 98 when they won. 99 when Brian Grease, he was a starter, the Vikings and the Kansas City Chiefs.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Yeah, dude, he's just like this. Tell you what, 14 year career played. Looks like he was a starter the Vikings and the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah dude he's just like this. Say what 14 year career played uh looks like he was in it. Two Super Bowl team except for 96. Yeah. And 81 touchdowns 78 interceptions. It's pretty cool from sea alive still. That's a horrible touchdown. The interception. It's almost 50 50. It's almost perfectly even. Yikes. I understand Carson once.
Starting point is 00:30:47 So he won the Super Bowl. What was he? No, he didn't win the Super Bowl. Nick Foles was. So he went. That's right. He had like a 12 and two record or something. He has a 10 and 0 when he got injured.
Starting point is 00:30:57 No, it wasn't undefeated. We had Nick Foles. Sure. Positive. He wasn't that many games either. No, Nick Foles came in. He he lost one, I think to the Raiders and then came in and like one too big and then got them into the playoffs and I think they
Starting point is 00:31:12 lost the last game of the season to somebody and then they went into the playoffs and they just swept the playoffs. They just won the wild card game. They beat a very good Patriots team. We're not the wild card. I think they still won the thing that year. So I think they might have gotten the buy. I don't remember. But I want them to come back to. Bubby Brister specifically. But yeah, no, he went out, Jacob, with only a few games less in the season with an injury that took him out
Starting point is 00:31:38 for the rest of the year and the back of quarterback won the Super Bowl. That's right. And we had him on the show. Yeah, I was filming billions. I couldn't be here, but Jacob is moment with. And how is Nick Folls doing now? He's out of the league. You're tired? Really? He was going to retire before that season. He's almost done. Nick Folls, like, I think went to college like three years after me. He went to University of Arizona.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Well, it's also funny. The same thing. He was going to quit. And then he got that resurgence. This Tyler Heinecke kid was a backup player in the XFL and just like it never was and same thing. He was getting ready to quit and then he got called up to jot it out if I guess for backup for this thing. So if you're a quarterback and you're gonna quit, go play with Carson Wentz. You have great success.
Starting point is 00:32:22 That's twice as has happened to him. I watched that the game last night, and I remember exactly what you said. They just have the camera on them. I guess it's times over. Sulking. Oh, excuse me. Yeah, at the end of the game,
Starting point is 00:32:34 they were really like right at the end. They were like, this is for sure, high nicky's team. Now, I don't think they were ever, he was, I never even thought they were that sure about Carson Wentz, honestly. I feel like the media is very quick to do that, but in Carson Wentz's case, it's just like it keeps happening.
Starting point is 00:32:47 He's gonna have to defeat that part of his brain. That's like, why does this keep happening? Could imagine the sports psychology that's involved in that. I mean, it's gotta be insane. They only left out soft piano music. Did it? Yes, it is. Yeah, he's right.
Starting point is 00:33:02 His head was covered with a hood. He wasn't involved in the game He wasn't like there's Carson wets everyone knows his career been completely but fucked by his backups Do you could use shows look up Carson went after game last night? You might be able to even see them talking about it. It's that funny. Remember his big bet though What a big bet. Well, he's gonna play plenty of time to be in it roll around in it. Yeah alone wondering where his wife's at with a starting quarterback He's on the Eagles anymore. It's fine stop it. That's fine. I Don't like all those sores on his neck. I hated it
Starting point is 00:33:37 I had the root from every week and he looked so like this things rated juice out. He looked like a reheated piece of pizza to juice out. He looked like a reheated piece of pizza. Wait, how far is Domino's has thrown? I love Domino's. Let's not do this. Let's not do this. Domino's has done something right now that I think is the most brilliant idea they've had. The cheapest thing they've ever done, they probably
Starting point is 00:33:59 could have made a whole business that had just this. The tin foil bucket or the bowl, whatever you call that, the tin foil container that's just got cheese melted in it. And they'll put like pepperoni and whatever, it's just toppings. And then you get these breadsticks that give you it and you dip that into the pizza cheese, but it's cooked like pizza cheese.
Starting point is 00:34:19 It looks amazing. I'm jaw-dropped. Everything. Everything they do sounds. I love just garbage ass. It's the third corner. Everything they do, but they're probably say something about Carson wants to do something. I guess I've heard that he burns easy in the sun. Keep turning the volume up on us.
Starting point is 00:34:39 I need to shake it whenever you get a sec. Jacob honey. Jacob honey. Here's it out. McClaren downfield. Hit him and stride and it catches man. Is as good as it can possibly be. And for McClaren, the big play that's something that the Eagles have not given those up. Ah it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Let's work together. Let me. I thought I was trying to find. Okay. You guys are finding yourself. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:27 You know, yes. You guys are doing great. God. Black lives out one day and all this chaos. God. I still doubt everybody. But yeah, losing a money to like commanders, trap game. They had it. You see, they had the video of Heinecke on the, I don't know, Jacob, if you can find this Heinecke on the plane, where like there's the new trend in the NFL is to take your nerdy white quarterback and
Starting point is 00:35:48 put chains on them and make them put them up. Make them, make them dance to modern rap music that he definitely doesn't know. And these are good old boys. It really is, well they do it with Kurt Cousins who is straight up a nerd. They seem of nerd. They seem to have they sent uh Aaron Rodgers off to a spiritual healer and he came back dressed like that guy. Oh my god he came back trying with a ponytail. It's wacky looking off all. He looks he's gorgeous. See he's looking up. Yeah they're like put that stuff on him to put all their chains on him and they're like and they're like, eeehhh. And I mean dude, it is, it gives me fucking middle school energy so much,
Starting point is 00:36:31 where they're like, hey, hey yo, put this head on him. Put this head on his big ass head. And it's a big head. Ah, don't you fit out. I like it, I mean, people looking all fucking like a toddler and shit. I'm like, I don't know what, what are we doing guys? It's like when your mom dances at a wedding, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:47 like to a modern zone. Yeah. That's how it feels watching Kirk cousins and Hainake get those those chains put on it. We're like, dude, don't make your mom try to torque. Yeah, you're making everyone comfortable right now. Stop. You're making everyone comfortable.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Do you think the alignment are just sitting there spitting Chabi and like, what the fuck they're playing with them? It's what we said, Sean Paul was here serious today. We were saying it's my mom's mom's cool thing sitting there spitting Chabi and like, why the fuck they're playing with him. It's what we said, Sean Paul was here serious today. We were saying it's my mom's, my mom's cool thing of being the ring back tone. I got the right.
Starting point is 00:37:12 And she's like, I like it. I like Sean Paul. I'm like, you picked Sean Paul temperature. As a song, you're like, this would be a good ring back tone. Just, yeah, what? Yeah, you want to talk to Terry. You have to give her a call.
Starting point is 00:37:24 She got the right That's what I love people just calling your mom for no reason is I got the right I don't answer I had I used to pay for Huey Lewis power of love So fun Because I found out it was only 25 cents a month. I don't think I ever had a ring back tone I don't write back to but my ring tones. I don't have a back tone. But my ring tones, I mean, mine for a while on a flip phone was Uncle Fucker.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Grave Park. Shut your fucking mouth Uncle Fucker. It meant so much to me to get new ring tones. My phone hasn't been set to ring in a decade. Since then. I mean, since that moment, yeah, back on a flip phone. You want to play a game of my phone, do you?
Starting point is 00:38:04 My phone lives, in fact, I was, I know for a fact that your alarm still goes off when your phone's in vibrate mode. If you set an alarm on your phone, because my phone is never not on vibrate mode. Yeah, I couldn't imagine having my phone ring in public situations. When I see that, like on an airplane or something,
Starting point is 00:38:22 and someone's phone's rings, I'm like, who are you, the president? Yeah, your phones are a ring You better run a company you better run a company or have a very sick child Also though because I never do it my alarm and when my phone rings in the car it's sit on the ring goes Now dude, I have a nice pleasant ring. Yeah, yeah, my alarm to do the cascading one. Yeah, hey I have a ring that's like you hold on I'll find it really yeah dude you're it's just nice it's hey then it's time no wake up yeah what do you want dude what do you when you say your alarm? Don't you wake up? And are you like? I
Starting point is 00:39:08 I want to wake up, but I set my alarm so I said it. I'm gonna give you mine right now, dude Make no mistakes about it This is mine, dude No, no, that's horrible dude I'll say what that never missed a flight. That's horrible Never slept through a flight. No, dude ever once you hate it look how did you find your How did you find your alarm noise that fast? You go to your clock? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Click on what just one of the times doesn't matter. Yeah. And where it says sound. Oh, there it is. Mine's called uplift, dude. Let's hear uplift. That's not gonna wake me up, dude. I need somebody furious at me. No, dude, that's the best. That sounds like a cold-play cover band You'll go that's fun. I could do that No, that's crazy that you have such an aggressive Jay's your sounds like there's a nuclear attack. Yeah, I would wake up scared. Yeah, I wake up very scared
Starting point is 00:40:19 By the way though that one's fine. That one's great. Do that. Now, dude. The one that I have sometimes meshes into my dreams. That's crazy. That'll make my, that'll make my little gun nuts. That's fun. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Shh. He's sound effects. These won't work. Shh. That's what I use for my phone ring. Really? I need what I need, dude. That's right here here. Everyone there's paid danger. Trouble ahead. We gotta go home. We gotta go home from the funny bone. Everyone get through the bone. You want to
Starting point is 00:40:55 take our first break or do you want to wait? I think I break. Why not? Oh wait should we wait a little bit because we have a guest coming in they hear yet they checked in at all? No, no Let's wait a minute here We're going out. We're going out to dinner after this wait so first and foremost big happy birthday to Mike Vekky own Big 50 dude How's my set? Wow, it's wild. He's so close to dead He looks better than both of us do shut up shut up speak for me okay Speak for me don't speak for yourself. Yeah, it'll be what's funny is we're going out to dinner with a bunch of comics for his birthday
Starting point is 00:41:36 But then he's also Who's coming this thing? Me I know list is okay, since Sarah. Okay Katie Christine Mm-hmm. Uh, I think Ari Chrissy okay, I think but here's what I was saying there's more comics I think like a couple other ones some Lucy's But then there's his college friends
Starting point is 00:42:00 Really yeah, that's why list texted list texted me of anyone's like hey are you going to this dinner? I was like yeah, Jane our goalers can be because it starts at six 30s I know all to there's the black one and then what's his face all of them? The teacher's shit out of you. Yeah, you think so yeah, dude. All tonight's not be fine down. I don't all of them will you think they want to find out tonight Yes, all of them will easily double leg take down you they're all 50 dude. I'm 44 Yeah, are they here? Jacob what are you doing? Where's Jacob? I'll're all 50, dude. I'm 44. Are they here? Check out what you're doing. Where's Jacob? I'll fuck all those guys.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Jacob, what's up? See how they out there? Were you on the phone with them? Did they hear him? Did they hear me say it? Yeah, I got their stuff. Dude, James is a James. James, I know James.
Starting point is 00:42:36 All Mike's friends are just like him. Salt of the Earth, great guys. However, though, it does create, it is a major, unfortunate natural thing that is going to happen is we will click off into multiple groups. I worry I won't be in the mix of a Joe List dance soda, circle hang. Well, here's the thing, we're showing up late.
Starting point is 00:42:59 So we have zero choice in the option. We're getting like, seventh, we're getting like, last pick in the draft. You know, be nice. Maybe what they leave for us is three seats in the option. We're getting like, seventh, we're getting like, last pick in the draft. You know, be nice. Maybe what they leave for us is three seats in a row. Ooh. So next to Christine, so I can slide in next to Christine and then you and Katie.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Yeah. And they mean you get to talk all that shit the whole time. Oh my god. We get to order little sides of bread. Oh, we are gonna just dominate tonight. This is not about Mike anymore. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:43:29 It's a steakhouse we've neither one of us has been due. I haven't heard of it. But I will say the menu is classily small. And I know from watching a lot of Gordon Ramsay over the years, better to have a lot of everything be fantastic or a small menu than have a large menu. That's like diners always scare the shit out of me. They're like, here's this book and you're like, there's no way you fucking do this all
Starting point is 00:43:53 this well. I'm garbage though and a diner is five, but a good one. I do recognize a bad diner. I went to a bad one in Cleveland with my cousin. I had dinner. I had breakfast with her and her kids and I didn't know where to pick and I was like I wanted slimes, but they're not open on Saturday So yeah, dude. Why racism probably okay, but Right arrest for bone thugs and harm
Starting point is 00:44:19 But then we were just like always picked a diner close by and went and it sucked. Yeah. It was objectively bad. And I've been to some bad diners here in New York. That one in Cleveland easily took the cake. I'll always give a big shout to Philly Diner, Black Horse Pike, Rodomy, New Jersey. It's been expanded. They turned it into a sports bar area to it down everything yet still as a diner
Starting point is 00:44:47 Solid creme de la creme best fed a cheese in the game French onion soup off the charts Comes in a croque. You can't touch it so hot. I love it. Not some bullshit. They just melt some cheese over the croque at the end This thing is like don't touch it. They warn you. It's just fantastic. You watch all the football games. Obviously like an Eagles. It's Philly Town, South Jersey. God, I love it. Philly Diner grew up loving that place. Yes, he Colorado. We didn't have like diner diners or maybe they didn't in Aurora. We would have like a Gunther 2Ds. What the fuck is that? Look up Gunther 2D.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Oh, it's one of those, like 50-50s? Yeah, it's exactly what it is. One of the funniest family guy things of all time is when they were all one of those 50s theme restaurants in Cleveland comes in and says hi and they blast him with a fire hose out the door. That was. And Cleveland goes, all that takes my back.
Starting point is 00:45:40 What's funny is that was I remember Germain Fowler when he moved to New York when he was like 18. That was one of his first jokes. He's like, I can't eat it. Johnny Rockets because they're committed to the 50s thing. Yeah. Yeah. Gunther Tudys, dude, they had good shakes. Is it still open? Yeah, it looks like it. Yeah, they are. Where is it? I'm going. Colorado Springs. It's in Colorado. Oh, yeah, it's in Denver, dude. Is there one Denver? Yeah, they show through these. No, actually But I see what you're saying that is a good alternative yet diner is turns out is a very very Jersey thing
Starting point is 00:46:16 Yeah, it's East Coast shit. We're those diners in the nation. I Believe that because I'll say what they call a diner out in like swingers in LA is considered a diner I'm like that's not as a restaurant now. Just like a restaurant with a band with not a great With like not a great. Oh, yeah, swingers letter and any letterman took me there a years ago Because it was like the only spot that was open late night. There's so many times out of pure comedians and every time I've gone there I leave going like that was fine. Yeah, it's never great. It's never ever great. Swingers. What is it the menu of it? milkshake dude milkshakes to come through to these those are reason to go I haven't had a milkshake
Starting point is 00:46:57 Where they give me the tin? Oh, bitch, that's the only way you get a milkshake if there's no tin It's not a milkshake. You're just eating ice cream out of a cup. Well, these gave you, uh, can they just end up giving you the fucking... I give you the big fucking metal thing with a long spoon. Yeah. It should be an extra half of milkshake is inside that... Hhh...
Starting point is 00:47:16 Thing. It's the whole point. Watch it. Crumble. We used to get the peanut butter chocolate one from a place called Nifty 50s. That was our racist 50s restaurant. Yeah, dude. It's all like why people just around the country just do these things. Like, this is never my problem.
Starting point is 00:47:30 I'd go there. I'd play something that you box. I'd go to the whites only water fountain. Yeah. I slick back my hair. Yeah. I'd, uh, I guess I would yell at a Negro boy to get out of my way. I would chase the Negro boy down the stairs in the hot rod.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Ask him what he was doing here. And then me and my Dewopp Biker gang. And then I would shoot a basketball, double-handed with my butt out. The most uncomfortable sneakers and knee-high socks. I would pass it around five times and then take a shot. Hey guys, thanks for listening to the podcast. And always remember, you can go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire cast it around five times and then take a shot.

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