The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hot Nipples
Episode Date: September 27, 2023Christine fails at acting and Jay blows hot breath on his coworker's nipples! ...
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I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM,
not just a podcast.
For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app.
Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly.
Live on stage for only one week or a couple days away from us being live on stage.
I'm very, very excited.
Live on stage.
Jacob's going to be on live on stage.
It's meant to go down.
This is Jacob's Super Bowl.
We got surprises too, man.
Out the wazoo.
We got surprises out the wazoo.
We can still say wazoo in this
general road.
Yeah, okay.
Can't say bag though.
Bag.
You're funny people have already been
reprimanded for his show that's in the future.
Black Lou, tell me right now, and don't hold back.
What the hell is that saying what you're eating?
And where do I get me one?
This is from a famous deli near me called the Milburn deli.
It's a Jersey sloppy Joe.
Oh, I know what that is.
The cold slaw, a little bit of meat.
That's also called the Jewish sloppy Joe.
I've never heard that. That's racism. No, it's a Jersey sloppy Joe. It's it's Turkey roast beef,
uh, pastrami and corn beef. It's cheese and uh, it's a Jewish Russian dressing. A Jewish
sloppy Joe. That's what it's called. That's 100%. That's what you and you amongst your
race of circles. No, I'm telling you. You and your old Boston friends. It's what it's called that 100% that's what you when you amongst your race of circles
No, I'm telling you when you're old Boston friends. It's looking up met outside with a Boston friend all of a sudden
I was invisible. No, I introduced you as my other they were all touching freckles. They're just stupid Boston freckles
Oh, I love them Leo Malace my Italian friend from revier
They were talking Boston stuff.
He's a he's a guitar prodigy.
He played.
I believe he played with Stevie Nix when he was like 16.
Now you didn't. He wouldn't mention that outside.
Toward, I swear to God.
He told him about the food.
Jesus.
He's told what the food you still.
He did.
He was at Stevie Nix first.
That's a bigger get.
Well, I threw him off because I said oh remember that ban you're in glorious union
Which is you should he needed to tell us that he's done way more than that since Bobby calls that his first family was 14
Maybe we're in glorious union you guys suck shit. I did I played my friends back yard and everyone thought you sucked ass
He played and then he was like I that was so long ago. I've done so much since that Bobby started rattling off a few
but it was Gary Sharon and
The Fuji's I feel like Stevie Nicks would have come up. I swear to God Stevie Nicks
He played with Stevie Nicks when he was a teenager
Don't you stand to gain from wine? I believe you I swear to you. You stand nothing to gain from making it up
But Jay when you don't blink. I know you think I'm lying. I don't think you're not blink. You wouldn't even matter if you are
I'm not lying. I believe you. I swear to God
Won't get home. Oh
She was so hot
So hot and coke-dove you are here with Rick Flair. You are a sling coach.
What the fuck? Jacob, I forgot to tell you anything you do on that computer goes to the air in America
Wow, I guess we're gonna get to it anyway probably get to it at some point. Oh, man
Jacob's having a frazzled at work day.
I can tell it's just Tone with DJ Lou.
Yeah!
He's got Tone.
He had Tone yesterday with Christine.
Did he get to, oh yeah, when he was walking through?
In his defense.
Well, well, Christine did yesterday.
It was nothing sort of a meltdown.
I mean, in performance, it was crazy.
I have to say.
So good at Shakespeare.
This is her.
That's a real quote from her.
I have to stick out for questions.
In context.
You guys were, I mean, it's hard to look around the room.
No.
Buddy, I try to do reads with you staring at me blankly
and it freaks me out.
That's different, I feel it even.
I'll be honest, Bobby, I don't understand that
either. I'll be completely honest, that doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think you
help in either situation, Jay. I don't think you do, man. In my mind, I was like, she's
going to get it on this one because just imitate the words. And you're embarrassed. I'll
do it also. I've done it now. And now it's just a character. No one's, this isn't real.
Just say the lines.
And she couldn't like mimic.
We'd be like, mm-hmm, she go, mm-hmm.
Because you had it trying to,
that's crazy.
You had it trying to mimic something
she's never done in her life.
She's never, mm-hmm before that is absolutely true.
She's never went, mm-hmm.
That you're absolutely right about that it turns out
And by the way after 55 ticks she still hasn't said mm-hmm
Yeah, she never did AI it
Should say I did AI all of Christine's acting chops now from now on that was that was nutty two lines
But can you but you snapped on a Jacob? You know, I love you, so I don't want to you I don't want you
I'm constraint and I just, I wasn't, yeah, I don't think I was angry.
Bobby, I was like just saying, why aren't you doing this?
I'm gonna stick up for real.
It's snapping on me now.
We started at 48, right?
We started at 448 that we didn't have to go on it.
We don't have to go on air till five o'clock.
12 minutes.
Wait, here's the problem though
And by the way the first line wasn't great and it was just accepted
Everyone was just like well, you know what the important ones this next
Pieces where it's really gonna like have to put a little inflection into it and she
I would just would have been like yeah Christine on nail this for sure the first line she delivered
Jacob snapped.
She didn't deliver.
Jacob, you snapped, I have video.
Well, when it comes out,
I'll be proven right.
No, you'll be proven wrong.
The first line she read it and you with disgust,
snapped at it.
You put her on tilt, right out of the gate.
Broker confidence and a roomful of men.
You broke her confidence
Here's what it's mind-boggling. She couldn't get it because they were done. Is she shy? The main thing I wanted her to do
She wanted me to do that's that's what she started before we walked in the room said you'll do that part
Which is insane the whole bit joke is her part, is that she does that.
I still don't know if she understands.
You know, I'm, she's doing like a, mm-hmm,
like a sex thing.
She didn't like a sex thing.
I think she feels like, like, she keeps thinking it like,
yes.
Food.
No, no.
If someone goes, and you're, you know, 36 years old,
she went, mm-hmm.
That's, that's what, that's what,
she's taking it like that.
I'm not defending her acting chops. And we couldn't explain it otherwise, and it's like a sex ceiling. mm-hmm. That's what she's taking it like that. I'm not defending her acting chops.
And we couldn't explain it otherwise,
and it's like a sex ceiling.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but she's never felt that.
What?
Neither have I, Bob, but you think I'm meowing
and walking around the room like this with her?
No, but I can act it.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Well, I would have you heard.
I've heard some stuff.
Why does Christine send you videos? I play kitty boy
When I'm little kitty boy
And then I chase around a laser I chase a laser around for a while
Jacob I'm so bad the time was running so short I had to cut out them and just go with yeah
We accepted half the word because she couldn't get the second half
You put her on tilt out of the gate. I don't think I did you I have it Bobby if you said Bobby if you said
Mm-hmm if you said mm-hmm that many times that many times over the span of 12 minutes that
Take one of them would accidentally be right.
She like couldn't like her voice doesn't go to that note. So it was crazy. She had to assume every time like this
Relax relax. Okay, relax
She said the line once and Jacob in just a mean voice.
He was like, no, no, I don't know what you said, but you said something like, no, you're
not doing it right.
You're putting, you're talking, because he's talking to a person who was highly functioning
and a very important part of the behind the scenes of this show.
And the fact that you're almost like, have we been fooled by a retarded person?
That was crazy.
Also, she said, it did affect me when she said she was uncomfortable reading this, saying this particular line in a room of men
like, like we were asking her to address or something.
It was like a nothing line.
Oh, so she said things on the show, but like,
I'd fuck that guy and I'd do this and I fucked this guy here.
And it's so, you're just saying a fictitious line.
I can have a black child.
She has dirty, but she doesn't have sexy.
Okay.
She has dirty down.
She can suck a cock.
She loves a ton of black cock. She loves tons of black cock.
She loves tons of black cock.
Tons of black cock.
It's an act.
But she does act.
I know.
It's not.
I'm the next sex way more black dick than Nazi dick.
I can tell you that.
I mean, that's a real thing.
She said she couldn't go.
Mmm.
Mmm.
How about she couldn't even get, I don't want to give the line away.
I almost want to give the line away so people will be listening for I won't but
Just in the basic inflection
I don't know it was very bizarre. I didn't understand I think everybody was out of the room
You had to do it. I was here. It was me looing you and her you gave her the line
She was a little nervous. She said the line. And then you snapped at her.
No, she told me last week. And then the hauled before she came in the room, I'm not doing that.
Jacob, I can't do it. You're going to do that part as me. Oh, she can't say, um, Jacob,
by the way, she's in her head about saying, um Christine's. Let me come to my ladies' defense, but my queen.
Let me come to their defense a little bit though here too.
And I think every but well,
Bobby, you're experiencing it now.
Jacob takes the live bar and fire show,
extremely serious, all of our live shows.
It's Jacob's playhouse theater
and you better fucking fall in line and play your part.
And it's gonna go swimmingly if you do.
But if you don't, there will be hell to pay.
And Christine just started getting a little piece
of that hell.
The actual production.
Yeah.
I mean, it was like whiplash.
Yeah.
Take it with dress like whiplash, just today too.
Well, I don't think I, our shows need a centerpiece.
A live show needs a centerpiece.
Sure. We put in a lot of time A live show needs a centerpiece. Sure.
We put in a lot of time, Bobby and I on this piece.
That's a micro-gression.
A little pass of aggression.
No, we didn't mean a little pass of aggression.
We met a lot.
I mean, Jacob said a lot of work.
Yeah, I know.
But I helped.
It was one line.
No, I did very little help.
No, you did.
No, no, that's not true.
No, that's not true. The zoom session helped him. Yeah, we came in at the end and we did
that thing. You, you really, just changed a lot of stuff. They were really great. It was
very helpful. It's not about me, guys. I mean, not that helpful. I mean, we did most of
the work, but you did come in and punch some stuff up. The point is I like, I like preparation.
Of course. I mean, I prefer I like to be prepared.
And I just I'm just saying though and that is but it's like you're going to for that particular
particular project. Yeah. When they come up, you're going to get a little bit of a different
Jacob and that Jacob and that Jacob might be a little whiplashy and that's fine. That's fair.
I expect that I understand it. But even in whiplash, the guy was like, no, it's like,
the guy did it and he was like, no, no, no, it's Bing Bing Boom, Bob, Boom, Boom. And he
did it. No, no, no, no, no, try it. We couldn't have given him more Bing Bob. He didn't
give her any Bing Bob, Bing, Bob, Boom, Boom. We together communed with him. He as a group
gave her 17 Bing, Bob, Boom, Boom, Boom. He, you weren't here. He threw a fucking drumstick
at her head right out of the gate. Okay. I wasn't getting it. She wasn't getting it
I wasn't here. He threw a drumstick and smashed it off the symbol out of the gate. Okay. Yeah
Did she deserve it?
Not on the first one on the on the third on the third team. I would I was getting a little frustrated too
But I went from not paying attention to her doing line
To paying attention so I was like why is it still happening and then hearing over here was going on
I go why are we still here like why are we still at this point? Yeah, what are you not getting?
Turns to yeah
Night it was it's bad shit. Yeah
She just said it like she was presenting QVC well She she didn't make it as an actor. She made it as a producer.
True that. Thank God. She stopped in New York on her way to Boston to go to acting school because she would have fallen the pieces out there.
But she's a fantastic producer. Yeah, I mean, she is very lucky that she's into Chubby adorable guys. Yeah.
Maybe I'm lucky there. She's an acting background. This is the line that she loves Shakespeare and she adorable guys. Yeah. Maybe I'm the lucky there.
She's an acting background.
This is the line that she loves Shakespeare
and she has, she has acted.
Yes, I say that's one of our drops.
It's completely in context.
So I don't know.
That's for some reason I'm really good at Shakespeare.
I go, let me tell you what you're really bad at.
Mimicking something someone saying right next to you
and asking you to say it that way.
But I think what happened, but I think what happened, I've had this, I've had this happen
on set.
I've had this happen on set.
What?
I've had this happen on set.
I've had this happen on set.
Why are you saying this?
Why are you saying this?
Because I'm showing how easy it is to mimic.
I hate it.
I hate it.
You could just say it the same exact way as the first.
I don't like when people mimic me.
They used to do that to me in school and I used to do that to me in school and I need
it.
Stop it.
I don't talk like that.
I don't talk like that.
I don't say talk like that.
Stop saying talk.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop talk and stop with talk. I'm telling you it's that easy
You know what fuckers
You're right, Jacob this bitch needs to get hit
You got a ding that fucking get the ding that stick off the symbol two simple lines
Well, it's not a not a paragraph and the right in front of her. I don't understand. So yeah, I got a little maybe I got it from you. You jumped
out quick. Like you were a lion tamer and she might attack you. Jacob gets. I just want
to play. I have what you said. Jacob gets one to two productions a year. Can I just he
can I just and they are the moments. Because it'll give it away. I just what you said. Can
I queue up just what you said?
Jacob trains like the Olympics. I mean he snapped.
We're gonna have to play after Skankfest is more of to play the footage of Christine not getting along. Okay. Yeah, then I want to play the whole thing in studio when we're all back.
Because it's but before I was before leading up to Skankfest, I'm like Daniel DeLewis and Lincoln.
Yeah, I want to be called Abraham Lincoln.
Absolutely.
No, I understand that you get in your role.
And I have to respect that.
I got I got.
I mean, you snap.
And you know, and his hands are first of all, if you look at his hands around his
hip, yes, he was all the flesh.
I told that out.
He's all tight dressed.
His hands are on his hip and he's standing next to a face,
and looking at her, and looking at the words.
And then as soon as she reads the first one,
he went, that's not, like something,
I don't know what it was, but it was,
that's not it, that's wrong.
Like, I would argue the whole thing
is a not pressure situation made into by Jacob,
a very low level stressful situation.
Just because we're about to go on the air with 12 minutes to record what
should have been 30 seconds. I could have done a year of ad reads in 12 minutes. I wish we had some.
Good good. Yeah. If we only had ad reads, man, we'd be killing it.
That's well. Yeah. I don't know. I can't wait for people to hear the raw audio
in the room because it was like,
do you not hear people talking?
When boss, you're reading our mouths
and just saying what you're reading,
because the fact she couldn't follow tone.
By the way, the great of that is like,
how could I ever take it seriously when she goes?
And then you were like,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm like, You have no idea what I was like. You can't mimic what I was doing.
I was probably whispering. That's your mimic of my whisper because you're a terrible actress.
Because you're a terrible actress.
Because you are an absolutely horrific. Because you're an absolutely horrific.
A horror horrific. A horror horrific. because you're a ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- She's not exposed for some reason. She's not exposed for some reason. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
She sucks.
I don't know what exposed there.
I don't know what exposed there.
I don't know what exposed there.
I don't know what exposed there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She felt like naked having to say this line.
I don't know what I'm looking for here.
Like we tore the curtain down and saw the real Christine.
It's my point.
It's my point.
It was so she had, she was, the pressure she was feeling
was unwarranted by anything by what you say,
Jacob is doing, but Jacob is doing something
where it's like, if you were like Jacob,
unfold your arms,
you're bigger than me, and you're just unfolded.
Do you know what I mean?
I say we do this when we come back
after our little thing here.
We get a little scene between Jacob, Christine,
and we see who can act.
I am no actor at all.
Yeah.
I wouldn't say I'm,
even not, I'm like, at my best probably passably fine maybe. I think
you're a great actor. That said, I still remember the exact line and the exact way it should
be said as we sit right now. I don't have the script in front of me or nothing. I looked
it two times. We went through it
I can tell you right now what that line is the exact way you're supposed to say it and what the mistakes were in the exact parts over
and over again the same exact way I could do it to I
Mean there was a point where I was actually doing it in my my like I was I was mouthing it. Bobby seven guys were yelling how it should
be. At one point I did feel bad because if it was J it
went down the line J to Mike to rich. Did you do couldn't
believe I just say something as a person when when Voss says
you suck at acting you should go you know what it's me. He
can barely talk
That was crazy. I mean seven guys were just
Blown away that she wasn't getting in for dammit look at me
There's Jacob
Was I Russian or was I dragging?
Count again one two three one two three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one. Russian or drag, Russian.
So you do know the difference.
Yeah!
He's my hero.
I'll tell you what.
In case Simmons rolls.
I'll tell you what.
All those face slaps, Christine did not get it right still.
But he eventually panic answered correctly.
You think one time she'd be like, okay, let me just do it.
When we stopped, it was a complete, what do you call that, settling.
It was like, we could do this a hundred more times, it ain't gonna happen.
We're not gonna get that, hmm, of, hmm, hmm.
That's crazy.
We did have to cut the,
there's no, I just,
I said, mmm,
just supposed to be sexy and she goes,
now she just goes, mmm,
because she couldn't go, mmm.
Yeah, instead of sexual,
it was like she tasted a good dessert.
Yes.
Just thought it would be good.
Mmm.
In front of Christine,
what?
I deleted all the HM,
I deleted the HMM,MM and added a few here. Just straight Mmm, man, man.
Well, what the audience is going to hear is an edit,
an edit of about 50, 50 takes.
She goes, by the way, do you remember the thing when we go,
Christine is not just, mmm, it's, mmm, mmm, and she goes,
we got the, mmm, she said we just edit in the half hmm. I can't wait for the wrong
We can do that in post right in post this is post
Yeah, like this is infinity wars
Marvel universe. Yeah, get it over to ICM
What is it? That's an angel
That's all right. I understood
Damn it. I'm dumb enough to get it.
I suck shit.
No you don't.
I'm the stupidest dumb asshole.
I'm the stupidest dumb asshole.
Oh.
Look at hell.
Doing the same things the same way he is
You should just put that in when he was supposed to say it. Oh my god. That might be worth it
You should just put that in when she's supposed to say it there something something at night
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
She couldn't get a, mm, was a lot.
I felt bad because I know she was stressing, but I just,
I wasn't mad that she wasn't doing it.
I was mad that I didn't understand why she was putting
that much pressure on it.
Because it was seven guys yelling at her and there was one guy
she's putting extra with his hands on his hips on his thin little disc
It's about it's a low-stakes game.
She's put this off for two weeks as if like we were she she's been dreading the moment.
Yeah. I don't understand.
It's a voiceover.
She talks on the radio often for a living.
Black Lou, did you hear any of this going on?
We can't hear you, Lou.
Hang on, is Jacob chose to cut you off?
Remember when he flips out when that happens to him?
Yeah, he snaps on people.
Oh, Lou, he's having a hard time figuring out to get your mic wrong. When
it comes on, dude, you better unquirk on Jacob's ass. There you
go. Listen up, fellas. Is that what you hear? That's Jacob.
That's his favorite quote from Jacob. Listen up, fellas. Good.
Black little sorry. And what was the question? I'm sorry.
I got come. Did you hear what was going on could you hear absolutely I had no idea
Wichristine couldn't do it. I love it. But did you hear it's very confused? Did you hear Jacob snap out of the game?
Yeah, absolutely he was a little stressed out because we're getting close to show time. Jacob's a monster
I don't understand why people can't do what I can do. He's a stage model. Yeah, he's a stage model. You're real here.
You're a fucking stage dead.
I don't understand that she couldn't do
what anyone could possibly do.
It wasn't like, here's the thing.
I will agree with this.
It was not a lot of lines.
It was actually not even lines.
It was a sound she had to make.
It's a line.
No, no.
The line was a massacre from opening syllable.
She never said it twice the same way,
and none of those were accidentally wrong once.
All the greatest actors never do it twice the same way.
Okay, but one time, they had a little,
they do add a little different every time.
But sometimes they go, okay, great, that's all great.
But just once, give us what's on the paper.
That's true, too.
And then you do that, but I'm telling you,
that would have been, you had gone over,
you'd have been paying overtime on the unions
after that because Christine can't go, mm-hmm.
We would have had a meal penalty yesterday.
It was, for sure, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Damn, man, that was nutty. I don't think it was stage fright
because I get stage fright tremendously. She was dreading this for she didn't want to do it for two
weeks. I don't understand why it was a. Just a mimic. Jay was doing it. All she had to do was just
follow exactly what he was doing. Can we all can you do it? If you do it first. Go ahead, you do it, Jay.
Can we all can you do it? If you do it first. God you do it Jay. With the line. Yeah do it. Just that. Just that. You just don't want the line. Just that.
Black look. Can you do it?
Everyone. Everyone
Everyone do it like a
One-nine hundred sex line, you know those commercials that used to be on
Exactly like that. She went
These are good waffles
Corner the cob is healthy. Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you like high fruit toast corn syrup?
Mm-hmm.
She really did.
Yeah.
She did it like Alice from it.
Fucking stove top commercial.
Yeah, she really did.
I waited too long.
I didn't realize how bad it was in her head,
but then not only were we running out of time to go live,
that was the last moment she could have possibly recorded
because she had to leave for Vegas.
She's left for Vegas.
Yeah.
So.
It was bonkers.
It was, it got bad.
It got tense in here.
And I felt bad for it because the problem with it,
she was, you know, you go to that point where I got,
and then she started getting mad at us.
I don't think she was found in English.
Wasn't angry at all.
It was more like, she was like, why?
She was doing like, kind of like, what is the crazy thing you can't do?
Or when she starts throwing her arms at it up at us, when she goes like, what?
I'm like a terrible actress.
I'm like, yeah, that's just weird because you're singing about yourself after you've said you were
a fantastic actress. And you were put to the test with one sentence. She said I was in a bunch of
Neil Simon plays. You know, she started getting defensive. Yeah, yeah, Neil Simon plays in which I'd
never heard of that before. What? What? What? She was in Broadway? She was in theater. What? No.
She said she was in plays. Yeah, I'm like, you know, I got her school in shit. Okay, so she was in Broadway, she was in theater. What? No. She said she was in plays. Yeah, I'm like, you know, I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her.
I've never seen her. I've never seen her. I've never seen her. I've never Simon never had the word in any play.
Where she goes, they would let me say something else
whenever that came up.
It's my one thing.
How could you change it?
What else could she have said?
I gave her just.
I did change it.
And she still went. Mmm.
She really does stink.
I mean.
It sounds like you had a mouthful of food and found out her son just struck out of the
game.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Anyway. Anyway, yeah, I didn't I didn't realize that it was that big.
Oh, and then she said something I can't remember the exact words.
I can't look you.
You're asking me to say this line in a room full of guys.
Like, what does that mean? The whole show is always in a room full of guys. Like, what does that mean?
The whole show is always in a room full of guys.
If there was a room full of women,
but it was all, it wasn't a main difference.
It was all about her though.
The show is usually with us.
I know I'm sticking up with Christina Wad here.
Bobby?
Yes.
Jay, go ahead.
I want you to keep us sticking up for it's adorable.
But I will say
most everybody else Was checked out
Until we all start realizing that like I got to stop I got a stop
Lucifer and I'm sick as body did he just showed off his got that dick V
We need to take a shirt off in Vegas. We need to get that stomach. I wouldn't ask him
I wouldn't ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do Lou Lou that stomach is the whitest stomach I've ever seen in my life. That's the Irish Wow
Jesus Christ did you made of like marble?
About your nips pop though. What do you see in them? Yeah, what kind of nips you got? You got little pink nips little tinkies
Yeah, little tinkies. Yeah, let me see a little twinkle nips. Oh
Holy shit good nips. I do like his nips.
Yeah, jealous of his nips. He's got great nips. He's got a little Asian nips. I got great nips. I hate my nips too. Yeah.
I'm not gonna show my nips. So I'll look at your nips, but if it's expected that I will show my nips. I'm not show mine if you're not showing yours.
Thank you. Why, what do your nips look like?
Now I'm interested.
Nice.
No, nice nips.
I just want to show my body.
Oh, you don't have to pull up the, I get you.
Got you, that's fat physics.
You figured out the math before you have a hoodie on.
I can pull up my hoodie and show you my nip between my tank top.
Would you like that?
Yeah, I would like to see that.
Take a look we can get. Thank you like that? Yeah, I would like to see that. Take a week to get.
Thank you guys.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
I mean, that's a nice guy nip.
Right.
That's a pig nip, dude.
It's a good nip.
I'll show you my nip, but I'm not going to take my shirt off.
That's fine, you don't have to.
I'll take it out and I can see it.
Look what happens when Christy is that in the room?
Everyone starts showing their nips.
He's trying to about your bags
It's awfully baggy in here
Oh
How somebody made fun of me and Bobby both wear white rock and roll belts and it really made me feel like fucking silly
That was me wasn't you? Use it about a bit of a white rock and roll belts. That's a good nip
It's similar to jays. What do you know about that nip?
That's pretty good, bud.
Well, I like it.
I do like that.
Your nipples more like prone slightly more.
No, it's almost exactly like jays.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
I got a good nipple ball in the end, but the aereo ain't big.
No, I like it.
Well, that's just a puff ball.
Let me see it.
I don't like it.
Dude, we all just did it.
This is like show and tell back.
You're going to the good body.
Yeah, if I pinch it, it'll shrink the way I want it.
You want to see the before and after.
I'll see the before and after.
I'd love to see that.
Right now everybody at home, we're pulling our nipples out.
Take everything off though.
And here's the thing.
I want to describe Luznip,
if you've ever seen an Asian boy,
a little Asian boy,
or a transsexual Filipino woman,
who didn't get the operation yet,
that's Luznip.
Luznip's very sexy.
Luznip's very hairless.
Hairless.
He's very Asian-skinned.
A little tiny nip nap J has a man
Nip and I don't know I guess I have a man we both have man
Nips, Jacob's chest now Jacob is taking is I mean he's taking five shirts off. Yeah
Yeah, he lives for moments like this
Blanket. I don't he just took off two black into five
Shots. Why can't you put what can you show us the fucking body?
I want it. What's wrong with your no? No, it's a five-short one. Why can't you put what can you show us the fucking bod? What's wrong with your?
What's wrong with your?
No, it's shrunk.
This is shrunk.
Oh, okay.
Let me see.
Now I can't do it.
They're both shrunk.
I mean, your nipples look like they're in it.
Because it got cold as soon as I took my shirt off,
they shrink from the cold.
Yeah, you want me and Bobby to breathe on them
so they get nice and warm.
They would.
They would puff out.
Hey, we'll put out miles on your tits like, like,
carp and we'll
have
a lot of Yeah, they're relaxed. They're just like Hey, we'll put out miles on your tits like like carp and we'll
Yeah, they're relax. They're just like
Come here Jacob. I'm gonna breathe on one to get it. Let him breathe on it
Jay right now is I J's breathing hot air on to Jacob's nipple and he is laughing hysterically for all the people listening
This is an audio show J. Oh my god. I mean I want you to do that to mine
You guys anybody now's the time is going to hop breathe on your nips. I want it
Come get it taste if it makes you laugh like that. I want to go there
I want that Come get it taste if it makes you laugh like that. I want to go there
Somebody's got to describe what they're saying. I'm only you describe it why
It feels it feels good Bobby. All right, you're gonna like it all right ready?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's all for it.
It's all for it.
When's the left, are you left like that, Lou?
Lou, get in there.
Come on, Lou, you said you would.
Lou, I'm hard to get.
Lou, just let Jay breathe on your neck.
Come on, don't make us feel like horrors.
Dude, what's the big deal about it?
Let me hop breathe on your tits. You're gonna love it deal about it? Just let me hop breathe on your tits. You know what, I love it.
Just hop breathe, let it jay hop breathe on your tits.
I'm not kidding.
It's not sexual, it's fun, it's guys having fun.
Well, this is what happens, he's gonna do, you know what?
In fairness, Lou, you do this, your girlfriend here
is next to you, you know, you're back at Fire Island
for a big test.
You're right.
Lou, why don't you let these guys breathe on your neepoels?
I think she'd be fine with me, hop breathe on your nips. That was the weirdest thing ever. Why did that feel so good?
It did feel good. Yeah great. Yeah, you're very soft. You're a very soft breath. Yeah. I'm a very I'm a I'm a good lover
I always believe that and now I
I could it's confirmed. It's confirmed. You know what? Yeah, I got one thing to say about that
Maybe should a hop read on our nips first
I don't guys this is acting you know guys. This is acting. So I hope you understand the theatrical process
I'm gonna pull Christine's titty out now. Please don't make a big thing. This is the theater
That was one of my favorite. She nails it. One of my
favorite stories on me in Kurt Metzger, where young we would do shows in a
affiliated place called the five spot. And we did all the black comedy circuit
but there was these few shows that were like mainstreamish. I guess you call it
it was a burlesque show.
And they would have us do comedy sometimes in between the acts. And it was a gig you would get
once a month, once every couple months. I mean, Kurt went and did it the first time and we went back to say, I mean, I'll speak for myself, not Kurt, but when we went backstage, we noticed
his girls are walking around. Forget, they haven't't put on the stuff yet for the burlesque.
There's pussies out, tits out,
smoking cigarettes down there to some hang it hot.
I love burlesque.
And it was a hot chicks.
And I was like, back there, that was like,
I said something, I go, hey, are we supposed to be like,
down, I don't think we're supposed to be in this room.
And they go, oh man, it's like the theater,
like no one cares, like, just do your thing.
So I'm like, okay, and I know I stared
at every pussy for so long, and obnoxiously,
just staring at tits and talking and pussies and tits.
And that the next time he went there,
they were as dividers.
They had to divide it they got, okay.
I guess you can't just stare that I go,
no, I can't be trusted to be cool.
Not that age.
No.
I was like 19, 20.
I had hooked up maybe with like two or three chicks.
I just filmed that horror movie with that guy
that I actually shown at a scan chest, the anthology.
And when I showed up, we were in the green room,
and it was at a strip club, and they had the strippers that were in the show and they were all, it was like a Halloween thing.
So they were all naked, but body paint. And they were just hanging out next to the Shakutari plate.
Yeah. Craft services, kuchis out, tits out, makeup on their bodies and just, hey, how you doing?
And I, I was, I couldn't not look.
You have to stare.
Yeah.
That's why I said, by the way,
feed your baby in public with your big fat tip.
But I'm gonna look.
I'm gonna look at your tit.
I don't understand, tits.
I love boobs, like every kind of boob.
Why do we love boobs? Why a boob so awesome? Jacob.
Oh, I was settled down Jacob. Boops don't strike me like that that much. I love a great
boob. It's a great boob, but there's I love all kinds. I love a saggy tit. One bigger than
the other. I love little titties. I love a big just dug, dug tittie. Not drawn to it. I love it. I'm a muffin ass guy. You're like a what?
A muffin and ass guy. You like the not a muffin ass. You like the
muff. Yeah. pussy. I'm a pussy guy. I'm a pussy guy. I like it, but I
would I love boobs. I go boob. I go boob, but push. Got to tell you what, let me say,
I think I might realize why this is.
These are psychological breakthroughs for me.
I think I've been let down by boobs a lot.
How can you be let down by a boob?
Because sometimes you have high-exbit.
When all the celebrity titties started coming out
in the world, you know, like slips and nip slips and shit.
You start finding out exactly.
You see like, you see Heidi Klum's tits,
like her actual tits.
Yeah.
It's a bummer.
They're not what you're hoping.
They're gonna be.
You had expectations, you know what?
And shows are gonna be, but a pussy is never,
if you see someone's pussy, you just accept the put.
Unless it's like, is, how can a P possibly gross?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you're not really looking for one that's gross,
but if you see any girl's pussy, you're not really looking for one that's gross. But if you see any girls pussy,
you're like, oh shit, that girl's pussy.
If somebody you see a tit in your first instinct
will be like, oh man, I thought that girl's gonna have great tits.
So they're gonna be small tits
and they're weirdly just flat big tits.
So they're all kinds of, listen.
I think tits J are all kind of perfect
because it's like this outside thing,
it's not inside of the body of a vagina,
has all kinds of little things happening with it.
And it's different colors and different flaps
and whips and whistles and nuggets.
I think it's what girls are.
I think girls don't like dick pics for that same reason.
It's like probably let down by it more than anything else.
I would agree, but I would think, but a boob, a boob,
there's nothing sexier when a girl, you kiss in
and she takes off the top.
And it's just you and her and your boob's meat.
You have to have your nips touch nips.
No, I have a tank top on.
You never take you shirt off.
Tank top stays on, dude.
Really?
I won't slow down the action. I've had women
Say like you know take the tank I'm not gonna sit there and go like you know, say take I'm like sure okay, but like
What you do it passive aggressively
No, I just do it, but I'm just like fine. I'll take it off. Yeah, no take it off baby. All right
I might have this reaction you know but I'm just like fine. I'll take it off. Yeah, take it off, baby. All right. I'm not sure I might have this reaction
You know, I'm like okay, look I'm getting ready to show them something. They don't already know I'm like
Okay, this tank top was hiding a lot, but it's probably not hiding it's just my own dumb shit. Yeah
but
Yeah, I'm telling you I think that's what it is like I plus he doesn't disappoint me
Have you been disappointed by someone's visually?
100%.
Visually?
100%.
How so?
Well, I mean, one of them was like a,
like her skin color, I thought of a vagina was gonna be
similar, but it was like a different race.
She had a bit of logo on the pussy.
I don't know what it was.
It was like, it sounds like a bit of logo pussy.
And then it was like weird. It just little I go pussy and then it was like
weird it just it freaked me out I was like well it's different and then the pubes like you know
it's like that is a place of factor but then the vagina lips look I like vagina I'm not saying
I don't like vagina I I'm not a bag I do like, but I would rather make out and play with some boobies.
Oh really? I'd rather suck a puss than tits.
I don't know dude. Yeah. Suckin' a puss is a commitment.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna know what she ate that day. I think I'm good that I've been in situations
where I've just like gone as far as I've just sucked tits. I'm. I think I'm good. I've been in situations where I've just gone as far
as I've just sucked tits.
I'm like, I'm stuck tits.
It's great.
But it feels a little silly
because the action of what's happening is they're waiting
and you're just going,
ow, ow, ow.
You gotta know how to suck a tic, though.
I do know how to suck a tic.
I'm just saying it's still a silly motion. You're still you're still baby bottle feeding
Yeah, you kids like a tick lay your puppy
Little tooth little thing and then they'll get you get up between your your lip covered teeth
You go nah you got to find out though some girls like it a little harder some girls like it soft
You don't tell you yeah, you got to figure that out. I'll tell you.
Crank them. What silly is ending right there. Like, all right, I just suck you take care. Listen, if you're
sucking a tip, that's a player move. If you're sucking a tit and fingering, it makes sense. Just
sucking tit, like you have to go back to making out and then back down the suck. But every time you dip
off, it's going to only go as far as sucking tittas,
just kind of funny.
You know what?
It's like, you have to,
I say, you're right.
I would say you have to.
If I was super attractive at chicken
and stopped at sucking titts,
I'm like, sure, it's like,
but it's funny for sure.
You have to do something to the vagina
while you're sucking the boobs.
Like, eventually you have to go down there.
Yeah.
But I would, I love boobs, man.
Boobs first.
I love a boob.
Oh, you know what?
Glad you're willing to say it.
Not if you wouldn't be that brave.
Hey, why you like a...
I like boob.
Boob, what do you go?
Boob butt and in coach?
What do you do?
Boob coach butt.
Boob coach butt.
Boob, what are you? Same. Boob-cooch-butt. Boob-cooch-butt. What are you?
Boob-cooch-butt.
I think I'm boob-butt-cooch.
But what are you?
Cooch?
I think I'm cooch-butt-boob.
Really?
What about you, Black Lou?
I know what he is.
But.
Cooch-boob.
So you and Jay are the same.
You're very similar.
I say we're able to phone lines.
86, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69.
Give us your ranking, but but also yeah
Which we throw we have to have give the little girl get the lady something to yeah balls
Balls they'll say the ladies will hear balls bag Bung balls bag Bung
How about lips lips?
Bung balls no lips
lips dick balls
Lips dick balls girls like the kiss.
Okay, I know the answer to this.
What is it? Because I think Jeff Cavaliere from
AthleanX.com, my fitness guru.
I think he took a poll of women.
My bet he's taking a poll.
What's the best? What do they find?
What body part they find more attractive to
men?
Jacob just got fully dressed putting all seven of shirts back on.
And by the way, he just finished.
I don't know if you heard that Jeff Calaverie city took a poll.
And then I said, yeah, I bet he takes polls and we gave it nothing.
And I'll tell you, that was a classic Jeff Cavalier.
Got big Jade. Aaaaah.
BOOM!
Hahaha.
That's one of my favorite things on the planet Earth.
I can't just step all over that, that J--ing. I want, I want that at my house.
I was quiet, took a sip of my drink.
It's until the rest of it.
I do, I want that at the house a button.
Oh, I'll get in there.
You also, would you say this is a
caller topic?
Oh, I mean, clearly, if you're gonna go
866, 966, 919, 69, it sounds like we got ourselves a color topic.
It's a color topic. Oh
Caller topic
This is a bonfire call the topic
We don't do that often so we do is we got to hit a masterpiece. I got to get one the topic is, the time that bullshit's over.
It's it's it's a boot boot.
Boob's butt.
Boob's.
Cooch.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's.
Boob's. Boob's. Boob's. Boob's. Boob's. or a mouth. No, give them girls some ass too. Yeah, you're right. Lipstick, bum.
Well, yeah, because they can say ass.
Oh, yeah, so we're saying.
Yeah, I said lipstick, bum.
Lipstick, bum, or booze.
Guys, ass, guys, balls, guys.
There's some ball ladies out there.
Do you know that?
Well, yeah.
The lines are full, so I'd say they're full.
Where, really?
Jeff Cavaliere says that women, the first thing women look at on a guy's their ass, their
butt.
Really?
Jeff Cavaliere's telling you what women think.
That's weird.
Well, he's, he, they told him.
Did they though?
He's just telling you bad advice you move on.
Oh, look at all this.
Oh, my God.
Look at all this.
Can I make a suggestion?
Yes, of course. Rich in Jersey line two has some interesting information about his marriage
after telling you his order. Oh, perfect. Okay.
Rich, you're on in Jersey. Yeah. Come pull up a log to the bonfire. Yeah, that was
to the bonfire. Yeah, that was just jointed.
Get your Adirondack chair and pull it up to the bonfire.
Hey, make yourself a lean too. Take a dump and have come up next to the bonfire.
Stick a hot dog on a stick and have a seat on the bonfire, my friend.
Open up some beans and put it on and make shift grill over your bonfire with the bonfire.
Go ahead, Rich.
So my order? Yes.
Yes.
The order is boobs plus ass.
Boobs plus ass. I think it's going to be the most popular.
Boobs plus ass. I mean, it's the progression of sex.
It's the natural progression of sex.
It's first, base, second, base, third base, right?
Have you ever been, oh, these boobs are bad,
but you end up having a good time with them.
Fuckin' them, these boobs are bad.
And you end up having a good time.
That's because the pus was still good.
Puss, more important than tits.
Well, the only boobs I've ever had that were bad
was with a girl who was around 400 pounds
and then was down to 140.
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't know that.
And then we were in the car.
I found out.
And daylight in my back seat and she said, oh, I have something to't know that and then we were in the car found out in daylight in my back seat
And she said I have something to tell you and then we got naked she unfurled her back like a origami crane
Your asshole came up like a parachute
He's laid to blue it looks like he was melting into the bed because all the old skin was like in a pile around her
But she said sorry, guys said, I have something to
tell you, then she said, I have a lot of loose skin.
And you said, I don't care.
Well, I couldn't care at that point.
We were past the point of you could care.
You did care.
You just didn't say you cared.
Yeah, I don't want to be rude.
You could have got a phone call that's made you have to
get out of here.
But like you push you look like a melted candle.
I didn't want to be an asshole. You could have been like, Oh, shit, it's got a phone call that's me just get out of here. But like you pussy look like a melted candle. I didn't want to be an asshole.
You could have been like, oh shit, it's got a phone call.
There's an emergency.
A hot or chick wants to fuck across town.
Oh, I would do that.
Oh, a girl with her original skin wants to fuck.
So sorry, that's like, I'm gonna pick that every time over this.
So.
What's up, buddy?
So what is he, he said he's booze.
He's booze, coach.
Thing, but Lou said he's got an interesting thing back to it factoid about his marriage we
write this down black luke you write down one for boob's coach ask by the way
we can keep a tally and see who can keep a tally i'll keep pitching my point for
how important pussy is boob's last i've also had girls who
their pussy's are just oh my
they smell so bad I couldn't even
go near them. Mm hmm.
But boobs don't smell. But you know to get away from that.
You can't see something about boobs and know to get away.
Yeah, but boobs don't do like a double shift waiting tables and they smell.
Yes, they do.
Not as bad as a coach.
I don't know dude. You get underneath that.
The fucking grumble of the tit. you know, I mean the tit pit
Way up under there, dude. There could be some nonsense up there for sure the tit pit
Yeah, I get a little sour anyone does miracle berries. You get that that hoodie that hoodie dust under a tit pit
Yeah, oh
Oh, I mean really if you put like a manila envelope under their tit it would come out wet
Oh, I mean really if you put like a manila envelope under their tits it would come at wet
Like cool I don't know like a tasty dish
Rich what you what's the other thing you want to tell some sorry?
Yeah, it's okay
So I've been married 30 years. I'm 50. I'll be 57 this weekend and
We have three kids
but my wife and i have not had sex
september of two thousand nine
i think you i'm so glad there's another one of me out there
to that's not we should we should form a support group on a zoom and i'm i'm
i'm not i'm not joking i'm not lying
since two thousand nine
why i think i've there's massage followers around.
Does she care if you go get whacked off? Readers don't tell her.
Don't tell her.
I don't tell her.
You can't tell her. You can't ruin your life.
I was Catholic.
Yeah.
So what's the reason?
She won't tell me. I've been asking her for years.
I'm like, is it me? Do you think that she's on you or, you know, or is it, you know,
something about you? I actually won't tell them.
Can I ask you some questions? Absolutely.
It refuses to say anything. Can I ask you some questions? Sure.
Do you shower every day? Of course. Like twice a day sometimes.
All right. I'm just asking. Don't get, don't get mad.
No, I don't do it, guys. Gross. It's something else.
Well, there's some guys who don't take care
You know, I mean, I'm just asking I'm getting a little foundation of who this guy is
So let me ask your question. Do you make a move on her and she says no
Yeah, wow, she says no
Every time but you make it like in the car with the kids in the back seat or you're doing it late at night
Do you take your girl and they're in their 20s? Oh twenty also but is there a point somewhere you go to honey
i know i'm waiting but it's been fourteen years
yeah i mean how many moves there you can attempt
what's what i stopped even trying it
well
you know i just i just go to miss out on the
you know do you sleep in the same bed
regulars
you sleep in the same bed at night
No, you don't seem to say
Hmm, yeah, but the thing is I snore and my wife snores too, and it's you know I both hate when the other one falls asleep first, but you just I sleep in the same bed because you're my wife and you deal with it
Of course, does she have a lot of woman friends?
Like the court group of friends like like four or five, yeah.
I think she's going dykey with that a little bit.
She's got any lesbian friends?
I wish.
No, you don't.
No.
You don't.
Not the kind we're picturing she's with.
Yeah, not those kind.
These are snacks, your chicks, studs.
Yeah, I'm not talking rosy and Kathy.
What's talking hot, like Cameron Diaz? Yeah, I'm not talking Rosie and Kathy.
What's talking hot, like Cameron Diaz?
No, he wishes. Let me ask you that.
You wanna solve this problem?
Yeah.
You're gonna eat duct tape?
Oh yeah.
What's going on?
It was only a killer barrier in the back.
No, you don't wanna kill her.
I'm just saying, get a little kinky with her.
Get in the bed.
Oh, forget it.
Dr. Tape her hands up until she agrees to do your bidding.
Date Reaper?
No, don't take.
Just take her and tell her and yeah, then hold on to her throat.
No, that's not what I'm saying, Jay.
Jay, I'm not.
Well, excuse me, we were setting up for Dops.
I'm saying.
Well, I handcuffs or maybe a bathrobe
Fucking belt. Oh, yeah, tie up with a bathrobe belt
Maybe get a little maybe get a little aggressive
Maybe she wants a guy, you know most women want a guy to make the move most women want a guy
You know, you mean look at that 50 shades of gray all the vampire movies. They're like an aggressive guy
Throw them down on the bed and teacher. What's what a think of two about a think of two.
You know what I say?
I say maybe a step further, Rich and you hire some guys to come in.
And I mean, rough, rough a little bit throwing them, but let her think of the unthinkable
is going to happen.
And then you come in, save the day, maybe a choreographed fight piece.
You hurt one of them bad enough, it looks like that the rest of them just flee.
Like snap is ankle.
Yeah.
And then while she's tied up, you go, I'm going to finish with those guys started and then
you move in.
That's a good one.
That actually got me home.
You should try that.
Try that tonight.
You want me and Jay to be the bad guys?
We'll put some ski masks on.
We could also, yeah, you're right in Jersey.
We could also do, I only know,
understand porn that I watch.
Also, you can have, close a window on her
while she's hanging out of it
and then have sex with her behind like that.
Stuck porn.
Stuck porn.
Yeah, maybe throw a sock under the bed and go,
can you get that and when she gets stuck? When she gets stuck under the bed goes. I think it's further under there and then have her from behind
Yeah, I spend like every night on on
porn club. Are you still attracted to her?
Yeah, a question from black Lou. Are you is this all sex? Are you getting oral?
No, she doesn't do anything she won't even
you you
jg no one's just so no one's not for fourteen years but sucking your dick
about
that was but that was black lose question
that's i would like to ask questions
of course you can't even call yeah exactly that's what all guys want
i don't know why he texted me could have just asked
i didn't think I was up
So I just wanted to have you put it in there. Yeah, that would that would he wouldn't be making a phone call with a problem that would be a
Amazing thing. Is she with you now? Where's put her on the horn? Yeah, have you gone to therapy mother? Did you ask a therapist? Did a therapist ask her?
Yeah, I've asked I told my therapist about it and he's even he said hitter. There's no idea what your therapist just gave up 10 years ago
I don't know dude the therapist probably said to go to massage parlors. Okay, we're off
Do you tell you therapist that you go to massage polish? Yeah, what does he say?
He's like hey, I mean if it's gonna save your marriage doing
he's a huge my discount code
if i wasn't getting released somewhere i would have left a long time ago
so put her on the phone let's talk to her
no
where she had all handled this jay
dot dr j dr bibo
gonna take care of this right now for you can you you guys hook me up with like a girl or something?
I can do this. I'll do one better. I can have J.
I can have J. Hot breathe on your nipple while you jerk off.
I could do that. I could do that for you if it helps your marriage out.
I'd be happy to have you with your nipple while you masturbate.
Maybe she saw that she would get hot.
I mean, have you, you're in therapy or with her or just by yourself?
I mean, is she gone to a therapist?
No, but I'm with her.
So she's never gone and explained herself to a therapist.
No, she refuses to go to a therapist.
Women don't need therapy.
Well, the man needs the therapy.
That's the way they look at it.
I'm fine.
You need to go fix you Yeah, I think
Which see if she'll come on the phone we have to go break because we have to read we have to take a break
Rich tell her you ever call the show we'll fix things
We're gonna save this marriage
Or she'd get hot and bothered and
Touch your up peepy I knew I was saying this stuff. She was fucking killing me. Or she'd get hot and bothered and, what if I turn her around?
And touch your peepy.
Good luck, man.
I was dating since 1984.
I know her inside and out.
She would be so pissed off at this time.
Well, you know, on the outside, not on the inside.
You have the inside and a couple of years.
If it was dusty in there, you might forget.
You might forget, oh yeah, that was dark down there.
I forgot about that. Well, good luck with everything dude. Yeah buddy. She changes the money. You know I'd say uh.
I'd say lever or cheat aggressively. Yeah. We'll have Jay hot breath on your nipples.
Hot breath on your nipples either way. You're gonna be all right. I don't think of massage powers as really cheating because there's absolutely no emotion involved
Except when you lock your legs and arch your back and jizz I love your stomach. Yeah, that's pretty emotional
And then when they go back to a room full of yeah mattresses on the floor because they're being yeah
Serbs holding the servitude
Except the part where you get on all fours and you spread your butt open and she has to put a glove on because you want something in your butt
Yeah, cuz you've gotten some pretty weird shit Rich
The old Jersey tomato, do I call it?
Find my ball bag up from behind till it turns bright red. We got the colors on the line
We'll get to you when we get back. We got to take a break right now
We'll be back very shortly. It's the bonfire
Everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show back very shortly, it's the bonfire.
We got our stand-up dates coming to a city near you.
Go!
Go!
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