The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Ignored In The Cabin

Episode Date: July 28, 2023

Jay gets totally ignored by the cast of Blackish when he apears on Bert Kreischer's "The Cabin." ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly Currently on tour by the way and I don't know if it's any kind of good. I want to be a fine some video on that But he's fat as a house. No, he's definitely fat. He's a big ol fat queen, but I think he lost weight I think I think you got the surgery and he's on those epic. He's on those epic. Oh, man So if you I think it comes out tomorrow if you're not a subscriber to guess digital, but
Starting point is 00:00:49 We had rent as easy and saggo alone last night. Yeah, and we just did so many ozampic songs and then one of them We just sang ozampic to the entire national anthem It was so that go. It's very stupid you get pictures of oh Sam Yeah, ah it we did the entire so it's it's worth a giggle elicit Check it out if you haven't a lot of bonfire fans don't listen to Legionist scanks and vice versa. I say listen to them all They're all their own animals It is weird. Well, I did Vermont last week and I came out to greet the fans as I do.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Because that's who I am. It's time for guy. I am some people don't go out, but I will go out after a show and I will meet all 37 of these people. You go out right away. No, I what I do is I take 10 minutes because 10 minutes will allow the people that don't want to have anything to do with me Or don't give a shit or you know to leave or something people are just fans and they're like well We got a babysitter. Yeah, they got to go so let them get out Yeah, and then the people that really want to I will go out meet them
Starting point is 00:02:00 But no, there was a lot of I do that, but I make it I probably stretched out a good half half hour. That's just too long It's a long time, but the people know the people know if I did that you're out there and you've hung with me after a show though You get the time dog you get a lot of time if I did that Jay there be one person And it'd be the same person every show That crazy son of a bitch you follows you around. But there was YKW defense. It's weird because they kind of gang up like they become like it's prison. It's like, yo, YKW defense man. Okay, open Anthony, right? Yeah. They're always older, you know, bad knee. I mean, and then you have YKWD fans usually do dads with their wives, you know, and then the the bonfire fans, which are very young. A lot of you and Vermont young
Starting point is 00:02:54 fans, too, because comedy fans, they're comedy fans and but they always, you know, go crack or crackle at the end, which is great. But it was kind of interesting to me to see all the different members of my gangs. The factions? I know. It is very, what's one faction talk? This is this faction. It's fractions. The fractions of the group.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah, it was, but it was kind of like, wow man, this is, this spans generations of me talking into a microphone or doing standup that there's, you know, OP&A fans, YKWD fans, now bonfire fans. It's pretty, pretty. Yeah, it is interesting when they give time for applause on each for me. Yeah. When they'll do, because that's what's weird when you see like the city.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Like, you know, it's why I've always told Lewis and Dave I'm like, get to get to Denver. It's like a skanks town. Like, they say, like, you know, from the bonfire gets claps and applause, but like and it's like skanks goes not some cities It's bonfire they go nuts and skanks like I see let's know all I see let's do them all too But it's weird because oh and a fan's are aggressive and they're just you are show I've seen our show Ralph will fucking pop a stitch I've seen our show Ralph will fucking pop a stitch. Yeah, we can. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,. I mean, according to what he said, that way. I mean, did that blow you away? It would have crushed me if I was you.
Starting point is 00:04:29 I mean, can I tell you something? Great, let's stop for a second. Let's give a little show context. Okay. Ting, ting. Do we have a context, little bingy bing? There's a context music. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I didn't have to ask for it. A little context music? I went clear with context. I was doing fucking way better shit. We were being. Can you give me the check please, little snapping at me. I'm sorry buddy. I was sorry.
Starting point is 00:04:52 What are you putting on your, is that lip balm? I thought there was a nervous habit you just sucking on your fingernails, the edges of them. Yeah, we, Jay, I just want to be honest with you right now. I forgot what I was going to say. Um, context, context before that got that, but that's it. I feel like I got a contact high or something. It's impossible.
Starting point is 00:05:15 You weren't even off of an egg sandwich. Oh, okay. I love it. I love it. No, it was what the fuck, man. Oh, yeah, when my call to we, I did when I when the pandemic hit I had 50 shows. Yeah Creeps with kids tour We had sold out Grammacy. We had sold out. I mean Tampa. We had 14 shows on the book theaters
Starting point is 00:05:38 It was fucking on fire started with one show We were going on tour with this thing show time was coming down to look at it for a Maybe a possible show creeps with kids and change people like you were in you were gonna be in on an episode Where we'd go and see your family you'd spend time at your kid and then you'd go do the show and you do the jokes about the You know the kid just to behind the scenes of being a parent and being a creep and a comic. If you guys were really funny, you'd have gotten Carla instead of me. But I mean, my ex-wife, that's comedy.
Starting point is 00:06:14 I know she does. So, I'll give you a little context. Well, Don's starting, anyway, she's going to show at the stand. She wants, can you do a scanning class this year? There is a point though where you have to just go, which is the Christine, like, I never had an issue with it at all, and that's genuinely true.
Starting point is 00:06:28 But people have always asked me with like, is that weird or something like that? It's only weird if she's like, can I open for you? I think she asked me one time. She did ask, but she has for like governors though. Yeah, but she can, I mean, look, I don't care. I don't care, open for me. I like Carla a lot.
Starting point is 00:06:45 I do. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. More than Christine, you tell me behind her back. Yeah. I mean, behind her back. Oh. The fuck? She's just nicer than me than Christine.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Christine, you're scared of me. No way. I swear to God, Christine, you stare at me. You don't blink and it makes me feel like you're doing witchcraft. Oh, Carla just fawned over Bobby's skin. She has a big deal with a skin. I think she was. I think she was good.
Starting point is 00:07:04 She never stopped calling Bobby hot, Bobby. I know. I'm out to Carla. That's it. She just gives up on me like that. Fight for me, bitch. But anyways, when we did the thing, all my shows were gone.
Starting point is 00:07:17 My Calta stepped in and goes, body, we're gonna do, I don't know how to do it, my Calta. I'm not done so I wish Dan was here. Body, hang on, body. Hey, I don't know, I got it my calda. I'm not saying so, I wish Dan was here. Buddy, hang on, buddy. Hey, I don't know, I got it. You got it, try it. It's a lot of breathing.
Starting point is 00:07:32 That's it, that's it. Yeah. You got it, right there. And, you know, that's it. Yeah, I don't know, it's not broken. No, we can't do it. Hey, we have to hear it. I have to hear it.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Yeah, what's up? It's Calda in the morning. It's my mic calda. Is that all right? Calda. I know. Anyway, hey, what's going on? It's myderon the more it's my my calda is that all right calda? I know No, anyway, hey, what's going on? It's my calder in the morning. We're here. I got producers but hole yeah Last night you need to get an asshole tattoo and start showing the people on the go. Yeah, it's crazy He yeah, he he actually
Starting point is 00:08:01 She rated the running panic commercials and every podcast so people find out who we are. There's no, there's no. Tattoo your ass hole. Yeah, we had to do panic, fucking commercials. Yeah, we do panic time. I, but what I believe serious calls the last ditch effort of advertisement runs. It's just a promo.
Starting point is 00:08:20 It's promo, guys. Yeah, okay. You're gonna run this on every podcast. We're trying guys. Hey, if there's any other time in your day, why don't you check us out. We know you love Jim and Sam, but what about us? Jim's big time trumpet, by the way, so everybody. Oh, we got to watch that video.
Starting point is 00:08:40 I sent you that video. Yeah. So anyways, he stepped in. We did a podcast seven days a week. Seven days a week, me and Kyle did a show and we did want to call the jerk off party that's still going on Saturday nights. We opened the zoom up to all the fans. I saw the mama bear of the jerk off party.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Hey, Melissa. And, and exactly. That's what that's from. By the way those those drops were the context of what that means Yeah, exactly and we did I mean dude, but we had a lot of patreon's we made some he Suarez was with me in Texas one time and he had to moderate the jerk off party But like from the green room of the comedy, do you remember that? I do for a second. So hello. Yeah, the fans went nuts. But like from the green room of the comedy, do you remember that? I do remember that. I did for a second and said hello.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Yeah, the fans went nuts. That was a big prop. Yeah, the rigs in there, the Lou. Yeah, we had Lou. We had Chirilu. We had Scruffy bones. We had Fat J.C. We got Melissa.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Hey, Melissa. Yeah, we had Jacob. He's dead. Sarah, she's gone. She passed away. A lot of drug off people died Yeah, but Mike one but here's the problem is that Mike when I'll be curse Mike went on Lewis and him got no fight Yeah, which happens with Lewis Jay Gomez tends to and he fought with a man so at times
Starting point is 00:09:58 I mean Lewis let me finish my sentence before you caught me off you son of a bitch this story is boring enough without me God damn it. Um, no, but he got to fight with Lewis. And he said on to Lewis and because Lewis pitched him out about my podcast with him and he said, I do it as a hobby. I'm a professional broadcaster. I have a number one. I have a number one radio show.
Starting point is 00:10:21 And I was just left like a bitch. He was fucking in the corner as he was talking to Lewis. Yes. I fuck her when I want to fuck her Yeah, I don't really care about her. It hurts now when you say it. I know it does it fucking hurts now that he he called me a side bitch Can I give you a little seven days a week a little bird christian-esque secret time? Yeah Every time Sodor would say something about fur, I mean, like five years, about eventually leaving the show, it would crush me internally. We would be, it would always be hilarious most times, like, times two were like before a moon tower show, and the crowds going nuts when the song starts playing, and I'd look
Starting point is 00:11:03 at him, I'd be like, yo, dude, this is crazy what we built this thing up here together and he'd be like, yeah, you know, it's like it's gonna be great dude. Like eventually I'm gonna go on to do other things and like you then you'll have this show. You know, and then you'll just have this thing. Do you know what hurts? Do you know how to go, uh-huh. Like can we just be happy right now? Do you know what hurts even more is you bringing up Dan Right now as I'm trying to fucking fill those fat guys shoes. Well those two hobbyists are out there jerking themselves off I mean you were here fuck the goats on the ground
Starting point is 00:11:36 Yeah fucking in here in the fucking the fight. They were good enough to handle this kind of pressure I'm gonna win. Me and you. Daily broadcasting, they wish. Daily broadcasting, next, next stupid moon towel in the song plays. I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder, and you're gonna put your hand on my shoulder, and then we're gonna hold hands and go out there as a team.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah, we're gonna touch foreheads, it's one of those, like a Viking hook. Yeah, we're gonna grab forearms. Yeah. Should we pick a theme song Well for the next man tower. So you guys can have this moment this one right here. I want this one. I want Rocky I want to go out there to Rocky think about that You don't like it. We're not making it. This show's never gonna make it
Starting point is 00:12:18 Somebody call somebody called Dan. I'm gonna call Mike and we're gonna If Dan and Calta start a show, that's how to stand test to hit. I'll throw up, I'll kill him. I'll kill him, I'll murder them. I'll go to G.O. for this show. Very immediately more successful, okay. All right, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, they take Stern's spot and his studio space. We'll still stuff. I thought you would never do Morning Radio, because they threw a gang at Cash. Yeah, gang at Cash. We'll still stuck here in this refrigerator that has no rights next to I'm next to golem with a hood on I mean come on light of fire Jacob do something Jacob's a fucking a Bob sledding outfit what the fuck are you doing you look you look like we're gonna an oil rig we take that thing off yet the thing is so not pinned
Starting point is 00:13:02 that it's almost on heat it's hot here It's not even it's not cold here right now Why don't you sit bother? I just put this on because it doesn't bother me I'm just saying like it's it's a I know you're underneath the thing But it's but you don't feel it there you look like a stock car racer. We don't understand the hood Show you a space here Bobby He's fucking mentally ill. There's nothing I feel the air blowing down on you. We'll show you a space here. Car Bobby. Car Bobby. He's fucking mentally ill. There's nothing. No, hang on.
Starting point is 00:13:30 There's nothing. Did I was? I was. The air's off. You believe in ghosts. I feel like wherever you were sitting, you'd be covered like that. It's not that cold.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Yeah, you look like a weird priest. That hood, there you go. Look like that. It's not that cold. Yeah. You look like a weird priest that hood. There you go. Look at that nice hair. I took it off to feel the breeze, the air. Did not exist in air. The Bobby Sessions in your head. Maybe this one I'm making it up. Jay, I didn't until Bobby Keewe over and said you're feeling ghost air conditioning. For comedic purposes, he said there's no air coming down. Maybe this will make you feel better. Maybe lie. Maybe what? Did you lie? I don't ever lie. I don't lie. But you do sometimes say things you have no idea if it's true or not. Yes, but that's not a lie. That's wrong fact.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Shual guesstimations. Those are those are Bobby facts. Yeah. I bought I got Jacob. I got Jacob gifts from Kevin. One of them from Kevin, T-shirt Kevin, our boy Kevin. T-shirt, oh nice. Oh, look at this. Okay. Little context. Nice. Jacob.
Starting point is 00:14:31 I'm sure. Jacob had a sex dream about Christine back in the day, and it was a very vivid sex dream where she came in and lied on top of him. She was cleanly shaved. She worked him over. She worked him over. And we have a
Starting point is 00:14:45 shirt now with beautiful Christine on it. And it says, what dreams are made of. And it's her, with I believe a beacup or a small sea. Yeah. No, it's definitely a hotter version of me. Now it's a picture that I took of her a couple weeks ago. It's the picture of her. That's for you right there. Gift, maybe that will warm you up. I'm like tight little ass is so wet waiting for you. And this one, I think this is for you, Jay, but it might be a little small. It'll be small, so I think we put it on DJ Lou and see if his girlfriend turns on Christine
Starting point is 00:15:14 and scratches his eyes out. But I have other stuff for Jacob because we're trying to, what do you say? Not man him up. Not man him up. We're sexy in him up. Sexing him up, so I bought him bracelets. If you wonder why Jacob, what do you say? Not man him up. Not man him up. What is it? Sexing him up. Sexing him up.
Starting point is 00:15:26 So I bought him bracelets. If you wonder why, Jacob, I do worry that it's not sexy when you're wearing three wool jacks at a time in the studio. I don't think it's sexy either. I never claimed it to good look. Jay, I love your fashion sense. Thank you. You're great.
Starting point is 00:15:41 You're hoodies, you're hair, you're feet, you're arms. Which bracelet do you think we should have them try on first? Which one? Okay. I'm always a sucker for some beads. I like the circles because they roll around a little bit on the arm. We try these. Try these, the brown beads we're giving Jacob right now.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Is that too bad? You have to put it on. Isn't it a Taylor Swift thing where all the Swifties have beads? The beads are their universal now. I bought him a special bracelet. Okay. This is a legitimate Beautiful bracelet. Okay, and it's brown also. It's brown because layer nice with those beads No, no Jacob on the same arm as the other beads. Yeah, it goes on the same arm now. You're a earth-tone boy Yeah, right? You love earth tones. What do you do? So I bought you a brown leather.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I'll just feed it for today. You're wearing a deep gray wool hoodie over an army green wool hoodie over a wool shirt that is dark black. So I'd say earth tones yes. Here you go put that on. This is a braided leather brown leather braided with a silver real silver by the way.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Is it a magnetic clasp? It's a magnet pull it apart and magnetic boom look at that I mean now I'm not gonna lie. This is come did you hear the noise that DJ Lujus made? Yeah, he went Yeah, and he never makes that sound unless this beer ham or gay men. It's it's it's in context It instantly makes people shoulders chop shake it it makes it's it's in context. It instantly makes people shoulder strawberry. It makes it look like you are more comfortable with those. You look I'd buy double. No no no. Not only would I say double I'd throw another one on there. Right well I'm gonna let you pick Jay. Not Johnny Depp territory. It's not
Starting point is 00:17:18 no. I would say maybe that one with two similar to similar to the other one. Here we go. We have. I don't mind that black. Why are we one in the middle? This one. It's going to be all right now. What's that? Because I do like them. But there's this line from 30 rock that was burned into my head where Alec Baldwin's character, Jack Donoghies dressing down
Starting point is 00:17:47 This intern telling him everything he's doing wrong and then he ends and then he's walking away and goes and Lose the leather bracelet So after that I never thought As always a thing that what do you want to be some stuff shirt like Alex Baldwin's character yeah you want to learn suits all that very successful doesn't matter you want to shoot a woman with a gun is that where you're at is that what you want to you want to have the dress of a man who shoots a woman with a gun an unarmed woman who was just trying to help his movie be made yeah yeah he had cold blood gunned her down yeah you with a sick shirt right I'm a
Starting point is 00:18:23 creative that's what she called you're creative let six-shoulder. I'm a creative. That's what you call creative. Let me see that. Can you hold it up? Let me see that wrist. I mean, did I knock it out of the fucking park? Out of the park. I mean, it looks awesome on you, dude. Absolutely out of the park. Can I, can I, can I, let me see what's left? Sure, I sure, sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Let me, let me put it on my finger so you can see it. Where do you get all these foveys? I had them specially made in the game all the way on the left This one no no, I'm sorry. You're right. Yeah Let's give that slap it on there. Let me just see I don't think he's gonna understand how that works, Bobby. You have to show him. He's new to bracelet life Look at it. I love it when I got a Chinese puzzle to do here. I love it when it got a Chinese puzzle. It was full of heart. Slip it on your wrist. Not too tight. You might have a little give.
Starting point is 00:19:11 We'll back together a little bit and even that out. And there you go. But I would put this one over here. It would go brown, black, brown. You got to loosen that black a little bit. This one. See you loose. Let it have some give a little bit there you go, dude Jacob shut up, dude. Are you about to rob a bank with a beach gang? I mean, dude They look so cool Top notch love it looks natural
Starting point is 00:19:41 You're not gonna continue to wear those. Those would never have to come off. You can do everything you can. You can do it with those, shower with them, sleep with them, all that stuff. Yeah, wear these in the shower. You can, I'm saying. My point being, I'm trying to eliminate one of the excuses while you will never put those on again.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Hahaha. One of them being, ah, after the shower, I forget the thing with the- Get a throw them in a pile with the chains that isn't wear. Give it the rest to DJ Luma and wear them in no particular order Lou I Think the chains look good. I like everything. Yeah, just what I never wore before and
Starting point is 00:20:16 How do I put this everyone who beat me up and as a kid or these now you're taking the power back dude? Yeah, how do you think they got the power to beat kids like you up through bracelets slave masters invented the N word and now only black people get to use it. It's a preparation, bro. You're taking back the bully style. And now you are the bully. Guess who has bracelets guess who has bracelets in this room? Oh, who else has bracelets dog?
Starting point is 00:20:46 Oh, what? Bam! Look at Lou. Look at Lou. Wait, Lou's not wearing it. He's got his... No, he does. He wears his... He wears his mask around his neck.
Starting point is 00:20:54 It's a mask bracelet. Because he rides in here with the Drebza Society on a bus. Christine, boom, boom, boom. Everybody has bracelets. I know, dude. And you want a berry cock in that yeah, where I want a what? Barry cock in it look at me. I'm not blinking Barry cock. You want a burry B. U. R. Why cock yeah in that and that was me pointing a Christine. Yeah Yeah, you're fantasy girl put the shirt. It was a hot dream. It was a hot dream. I actually had the same dream. Oh, yeah during the day. I forced it
Starting point is 00:21:30 Yeah, you just watched it. You just looked at a deep fake of Christine I always say if you want to whack off to Christine the porn star and I've said it a zillion times Ashley blue Is that her name? I think looks so much like Christine. Get it blue. Yeah, get it. Young Christine. But it looked a lot like Christine. I think, yeah, can I say something about you right now
Starting point is 00:21:52 that will make you feel better? I think older woman Christine, way sexier than girl Christine. Thanks Bobby. Agreed. 100%. Girl Christine cute. Woman Christine sexy. agreed. agreed. 100%. Girl, Christine, cute.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Woman, Christine, sexy. Woman, Christine, personality of an 85-year-old younger Christine, wild child. Oh, I wouldn't talk to her for more than 20 minutes. Yeah. But, physically, if I just... Which is, it looks alone. What are you doing tonight, patting the dog? No.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Christine, I seriously, I think that and Don did the same thing. Don as a girl, just a goofy chubby bitch, if I may, because it's my wife. You may. But she became better, a really pretty woman. There's some girls, when they're young're hot they get older they become They be get really fucked up, but girls. It's tends to be Pretty girls like you know sevens the sixes and sevens, you know married girl But when they become women something happens the hair their skin they take care of themselves more and They fill into their face and Christine you're one of them you and Donna both very pretty women. Thank you. Yes. You filled in your face. Yep. You've finally filled in your face. It makes sense like I I really just never was like a young hot girl for what I mean those girls that are like out doing
Starting point is 00:23:18 you know spring break and their bikinis with their perfect bodies and like I that was just never me. So I'm I'm happy that like because I was a fat kid. I'm happy I'm not like a big fat lady. Yeah. Now Christine was two days ago borderline ready to quit. Oh, Zampic. She lost 10 pounds now by the way. Congratulations. She's she's reminded me of today's our shot day six times. We take it today or tomorrow. We do it tomorrow, right? We do it tomorrow. We did say tomorrow, right tomorrow is okay I'm gonna vomit today today today is today. We do it today. I think right? I'm not sure. That's how it works, right? It makes you sick to your stomach So you just puke up all the food you ate for that day. Apparently well, it seems to be working that way for Christine
Starting point is 00:24:01 For me it makes me I'll tell you what what's so amazing about this dumb drug and I'll drop it after this but last night I came home hungry like really hungry where you're like I'm about to overeat like I feel that I can overeat yeah and I got three pieces like three fourths of a sandwich from a sandwich king, which are huge pieces. And I mean, I took like two bites right of each one. And then I was just like, I can't possibly, I was like, yeah, it's just over. It's just Andrew. Like, I'm looking at it. I can't touch it.
Starting point is 00:24:38 I dumped into a coffee cup at George's Diner and Meredith Nehamshire. That's horrific. I got, because I got too hungry, my brain, my fat brain, I waited to eat and then we went to eat and they had seafood chowder, bread, and they had American chapsuie, which is my Achilles. Chapsuie's your American chapsuie. What is that?
Starting point is 00:25:00 You've never had American. I only know Armenian chapsuie. It's the song by us. It's the one for Down. It was. Did you get it? I only know one Chop Sui, dude. And that goes a little something like this.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah, I'm playing drunk. It gets to the good part. What a brilliant song. Did you say you just chit into a cump? No, dumping is throwing up. I dumped into a coffee cup and it comes up in like little donut chunks. On fart contact. To dumping is not shitting into a cup. No, yeah, barfired contacts.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Wank. Bobby Achilles heel is American chapsoe. He likes to see you in New Hampshire. Then he throws up in a coffee cup. And his wife is embarrassed. He wants again. Bobby Achilles heel is American Chapsuui He likes to see you doing a new hamster Then he throws up in a coffee cup And his wife is embarrassed once again Once again, that's his embarrassed once again once again Once again, once again, trust
Starting point is 00:25:57 And... Ozebac! Looking at some boner guy And... Look at some boner guy and the lake. We enter Rob Cobbles fucking. It's a great song. American Chapsule is also my Achilles heel turns out. American Chapsule.
Starting point is 00:26:20 American Chapsule, Jay, let me tell you what American Chapsulee. American Chapsulee, Jay, let me tell you what American Chapsulee is. It's elbow pasta with a meat, a red sauce, not a gravy, red sauce with peppers, onions, sometimes mushrooms, and hamburger meat. Hamburger helper? No, that's a matter of, there it is, right there. Oh my God, one of my favorite, favorite dishes, comfort food. It would have never, I mean, I definitely had that in my life, I don't know if I've never heard
Starting point is 00:26:52 of Claude American Chops. It's amazing. It clearly is called that. American Chops, so the one on the right, though, the cozy cook, that's the chunks of meat when it's big chunks of hamburger meat. I thought it was something I like to make at the Super Bar at Wendy's when I was younger It's close. Yeah, I don't want to make it. It's so good
Starting point is 00:27:10 And I got it and I ate too much of it and I had I had this chowder and I had a piece of bread and then I went Into a cup Like like like it look a little ball of Looks like bread looks like I'm making my own bread. It came out. Yeah, yes. Yes, oh, oh, Zenfrey. Christine, you still want it?
Starting point is 00:27:32 Christine, we'll make it. I'll make a few. We'll make a few. I'll make a few. I'll make a few. I did not belong in a nice place. This is why we can't have nice things. Cause Dad's always gonna do.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Dad's always gonna do. I also, I talked to our doctors at the stand who did it. I love the assingative from Max's perspective. But Dad yelled at me on a hike. My Dad won't throw up in front of all of my school friends. I'm social pariah because of my father's behavior There he goes again my pop are you I saw you up you can on it. Oh my god a lot I can keep my food down. I'm pretty excited. Did that's not good. It wasn't that bad this week
Starting point is 00:28:23 She would shit it out, but I plugged that up. Nice. My doctor's assistant who did it, I talked to him about it because I'm trying to get us prescribed in the anti-naudia medication. And he said that the first couple months where you're building up the level are the worst. I mean, it's not. It's like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, immediately to dehydration. That sounds terrible for two months.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Is that my headaches? I mean, I'm down 10 down 10 pounds I was like I don't have a fuck I'm shooting I'm shooting semi solid again though guys if I'm showing you better I'm used to throwing up for my years of alcoholism. There was a good week of somehow I I mean it looked like It looked like someone didn't upper decker in the bowl I mean, it looked like someone did an upper decker in the bowl. Like it was like, like, like shit water came down the sides of the bowl. So you had diarrhea from, for example, I don't know, but it was from that, but I don't have it anymore. Well, you were injecting your stomach with a foreign substance
Starting point is 00:29:16 and then you had diarrhea. I would put that together. I've been injecting myself in the stomach with that foreign substance for weeks now and only for the one week like a week ago I had vicious vicious diarrhea. Wow. It's pretty much last week of the tour right?
Starting point is 00:29:30 Pretty much last week of the tour. They had a place to get it though. But from the dead slip and slide that stopped us from going down what is the asshole out? I did not do the slip and slide. I'm not real stoked on. Bert will get it one year because he always ate, when I come back from an event that I clearly wasn't going to do, like an activity, they go, Bert said, all day, where's Jay? He kept it, like they make me feel bad.
Starting point is 00:29:53 He kept saying, where's Jay? I'll get you. Bert never understands, I do not want to take my shirt off and be a floppy, flippy, fat fuck going on. I don't, I can't. My ego cannot take it. Did he actually think you're gonna take a shirt off? He thought on cabin that I was gonna get in a speedo
Starting point is 00:30:09 when wrestle in oil with them. And what happened with that? I went to the director, Tom Sik, and I said, can you please, could we talk to Bird about just some other way of it? And I thought of like a funny alternative for it. What was that? You guys suck each other off in the cabin and I thought of like a funny alternative for it. What was that? You guys suck each other off in the cabin?
Starting point is 00:30:26 We were beekeeping outfits. That's funny. In the first part of the episode. So I said, let's cut up a beekeeping outfit like a ridiculous, like, you know, make it like short shorts and like, you know, like a one piece thing that it was, but like. I love fat physics.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Oh yeah. And fat people have to figure out shit in a game. Well, I can make it funny. Yeah, it's like dude, I gotta get out of this. Nice sitting on his rose. When I, when he goes, oh yeah, let's talk to Bert. And Bert was like, Jay doesn't, no if he's like, if he's into the like speedos
Starting point is 00:30:58 and oil wrestling thing he goes. Yeah, I mean, we can just do it with like water. It doesn't have to be oil. And I'm like, no, no, no, he's like, Bert's not not that's not the issue. The issue is the speed. It's what we end up doing the thing with the beekeepers after. I think it's completely removed from the episode also.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Why? The entire thing. Why? Told you the cast of NBC's Blackish did not like me. And they were, they, I was, I was whittled down. Watch the episode. You've watched it before, right? Oh, youled down watch the episode you've watched before right oh You should watch it the way you make fun of tourgasm to how little I am featured in this episode
Starting point is 00:31:30 I mean wasn't in a show my my daughter called me and show always be like Hey, it's neat. You were in something like she would that she was like did you not talk at all because it was just you were like in the background Just the whole episode facial expressions were pretty telling because you were like in the background just the whole episode. So facial expressions were pretty telling. Is that a show where they mix worlds? No. Will they take like an actor and a comedian and put them together?
Starting point is 00:31:52 What's the show? No, it was actually booked to be like intelligently, like they booked it to be groups of people that would make sense, get along or sort of know each other or whatever. You know what I mean? And who are you with again? Deon Cole and Anthony Anderson. Yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:32:10 But they make sense. They called me weak up. Now here's what it was, it was Bert being awesome and being like, let's get Big J in this thing. It's an opportunity for me for sure again. And you're wearing a bonfire hoodie because you believed in the show unlike Dan Dan at that time. Yeah. Yeah. Dan were lesion of skanks stuff for you were bonfire shit. But um, yeah, right away in the day that he was just, look at Dion Cole, looking at
Starting point is 00:32:39 you, look here in asshole. I mean, he, you can tell, look at his brow is frowned. He's like this motherfucker locked in on that. Hey, hey You doesn't like me. He hey, you he doesn't like you. No, he hates Jay That looks like he wants to stab you like you're in prison and you're opening up to a therapist He's like this fucking bitch He's gonna go it looks like it looks like we're in like rehab group therapy Yeah, and he's like at this fat mother Fuck a keep talk at denteon call so cool too cool. He's so cool It's I met him in in Philly at the punchline. He came up and hugged me and hit a poncho on
Starting point is 00:33:16 Yeah, and I didn't know what to say It didn't matter because he was making it work. He looked fucking he looked like share He's the old guy now. I think isn't he he yeah, yeah, it's not in the same exact like I took my joke did he yeah Well, I don't know if he I mean look oh Yeah, you said this on the show before It's kind of sucks. It kind of sucks. I like him, but what are you gonna do? Well, I want to like him. I don't think he oh he hates Anthony Anderson enjoyed me very much
Starting point is 00:33:44 Can I tell you a little something about Anthony Anderson more Anthony Anderson if I see Anthony Anderson and something I don't think he enjoyed me very much. Can I tell you a little something about Anthony Anderson? More Anthony Anderson. If I see Anthony Anderson in something, it's my first thought always is not any more. Oh, Anthony Anderson, this might be funny or this might be whatever I'm like, dude, that guy did not dig my vibe at all. I did La Notta with Anthony Anderson.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah. And we were in the scene first scene. Two times he did some fucking funny fucked up shit to me It was a Camry in the scripts and I got to walk up and go yeah, this camera he came in blah blah blah And you rehearse your lines over and over to get the part then you get it and then you do it over and over again You get on set the day of them in my wardrobe on a mechanic and there's it's a Corolla So the director goes, I just quick,
Starting point is 00:34:27 the script supervises a quick note. It's Corolla, not Camry. We couldn't get a Camry. We got a Corolla. I'm like, okay. Corolla, Corolla, Corolla. I'm in a Corolla. I keep, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:34:37 I got a switch because it's, you know, and they go, okay, ready, set, speed, and he goes, Camry. So that's the... Oh! And I went, and I went, and he goes, Camry. That's... Oh! And I went, and I went, and I went, Camry, and they were like, cut, it's a corolla.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I'm like, I know, I'm like, fuck you, dude. They just kept doing Camry to get me to say, Camry, it's set a corolla. And then he smacked me with, we do another scene, and I had a book, and he takes the book and cracks me with it. Like, in the arm, like hits me hard. Where is this guy get off?
Starting point is 00:35:06 I don't know. I thought it was kind of funny though. No, it is funny. Listen, he was the bell of the ball. I always remember, what I'm gonna call him? Do you? Yeah. Text him.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Where are we gonna text him? Do you like Jay Okerson? Yeah, yeah. Ask him if he likes Big Jay Okerson. Did he, do you think Big J. Ocerson's funny? Okay. You don't have his number. I ask him if those charges are true.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Okay. Okay, but they usually become an apology after that when you accused me of lying. Doesn't mean anything. I'll take it though. That could be, I would write anything Anderson if I had a girl's number I was cheating on Christine with. Oh, that's just anything Anderson text and babe. Hey, bro, this is gonna be another friend runner by the way.
Starting point is 00:35:49 This is another Captain America. He's gonna block my number. I'm doing a radio show at Big J. Hokerson. He says you definitely don't like him or think he's funny. Any truth to that. Hey, bro. And don't robber Kelly. I'm not who I am.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Comedian, I gotta put Robert Kelly because he might think I'm our Kelly. I'm sure they're friends too. Robert gotta put Robert Kelly because he might think I'm our Kelly I'm sure they're friends too Robert Kelly. No, you've got that's big accusation. What do you mean? You just said Anthony Anderson is all free our Kelly that is that what I said, Jack said they're probably friends I said they're probably friends. They probably know each other He's a friend seems like he's probably got his friends back and that he's probably complicit well I'm reading some news stories that he was also accused of some things. Anthony Anderson? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Should I ask him that first? No. Okay. Ask if he likes me first. And then if we find that he's guilty of stuff, we'll then we'll text him that. Hey, bro, sure. Oh yeah, because I'll tell you what,
Starting point is 00:36:36 he's never been accused of this and then send him that. And then also tell him to say hi to Chris Evans. Ask him if you've Chris Evans numbers right. Yes. Yes. Hey bro. His wrote is Chris Evans's number right? That's all.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Hey bro. Hey, stop talking. Hey bro, that seems okay. Hi kids, he's, he's, he's, he's here. Hey bro, man. Hope you're well. I'm wondering I'm with my friend big J. Ogasen. Do you think he's funny and did you do you like him? He's not gonna answer. He's gonna say, I thought you were in jail,
Starting point is 00:37:22 motherfucker. And you have to explain you're not Stop it's still on the thing it's saying all that because I didn't hit oh fucking say I Because the thing when you don't hit the button off it just I gotta redo it. I can't not talking to radios though No, you you really shouldn't you should keep talking Especially that side of the room we gotta get some more ads We gotta get some more ads to get some more ads and the fans really like you, Jason. Yeah. Hang on, Big J.O.K.S. and Motherfucker stop.
Starting point is 00:37:50 It's stop it. It's still on. I gotta read. Okay. I'm with my friend Big J. There you go. Okay. What do you want to ask him?
Starting point is 00:37:59 Do you think he's funny, right? Do you like him and do you think he's funny? Yeah. Do you like him and do you think he's funny? Yeah. Do you like him and do you think he's funny? Period. I said you do. He's gonna first just look me up. He doesn't remember that I'm the person he does show what there's no. Oh, then I wrote high fuck. Can you erase something? Yeah, I can't erase it right now. Just like a word you seem to freak out if you're like, because I sent it. And at the end of it, just subscribe.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Oh, you can ride it. Yeah, it said, hey, Robert Kelly, the comedian, hope you're well. I'm wondering, I'm with my friend, Big J. Do you like him and do you think he's funny? I said you do. And then it went, hi. Robert Kelly, the comedian, not the pedophile.
Starting point is 00:38:40 This is Bobby Kelly. I really enjoy chicks with dicks. This is Bobby Kelly, Su-Fi. I don't, I do, I don't enjoy them. I appreciate enjoy chicks with Dix. This is Bobby Kelly. Sufi. I Don't I do I don't enjoy them. I appreciate them. There's a big difference. I'll take what was fun? AI you're ruined all my fun. What was that an AI? Yeah, it wasn't a great Bobby Kelly You know what it keeps getting better and better AI and it learns and the more you do it the more you run Someone's voice through the more accurate it gets Well, it wasn't great. No, that was my first try. We know we're fucking this is going Yeah, we're gonna have you sing all kinds of terrible things. Oh, they're gonna fucking just get Dan to sit in here and it will be AI Dan
Starting point is 00:39:18 Chatchy PT what would Dan say right now? Chatchy PT dude Dan doing runney Dangerfield answering that question, please? You guys just have meetings the night before. I want Dan to talk about this and then compliment me on this. Dude, Dan? Dan told me, like an abusive pimp, every day of our radio career, that he was going to leave one day. Every day I come in and go to another fun day of the show.
Starting point is 00:39:43 He goes, clock's ticking though, right? I tell you, Jay, I'll fucking I'll do this to the wheels come off. The wheels come off. I'm here to make us leave the studio. I will fuck I'll do it after they fire us. Oh, yeah. I mean you know you won't but I Well, yeah, I'm good man. Now when they shit can't us, dude, that's when we go big big we go big big Yeah, they don't even know we're taking all of our fans with us. And God knows how big or small that is. They don't tell you. And we're taking all of everyone who listens with us. I don't know if that's a dent in the company or not. If you had to pick one of your fan gangs, who would it be? What do you mean? If you had to pick one of your fan gangs, to would it be? What if you? If you had to pick one of your fan gangs,
Starting point is 00:40:25 to what? To what? To what? Yeah. Each one's got different. To conquer a small village in Iceland. Oh, the Sleegin of Skanks. Oh, sure. Okay. To show up at your wedding.
Starting point is 00:40:37 I just need bonfire. Okay. Ah, okay. To now to be at the after party skanks again To be at your daughter's wedding on fire, okay Now to to be at my daughter's gangbang cream pie dot com debut Be it my daughter's gangbankreampide.com debut. The league is going to be a pretty nasty art show.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Nasty art show people. Gotta mention that. Hey everyone, my daughter's doing gangbank cream pies. If you wouldn't mind just being cool, could you make her uncomfortable? And we got nothing. Hey, hey bro, it's Robert Kelly of the comedians.
Starting point is 00:41:21 It's the bro. The bro is condescending from the young. Yeah. Boy, what should I change it to? Bro, uh, we are a. Hey, so what should I say? Hey, it's Robert Kelly of the comedian. Should I remind him we did lawn order together? Say, uh, change up bro from, hey, my brother from another mother. Hey my brother. No How about some motherfucker Sup my husband likes to curse SUP
Starting point is 00:41:58 Hey bro, it's Robert Kelly the comedian should I put a PS we did lawn order together? Jesus Him we're going back to edit the text now. No, I'm gonna put I already Big J, do you like the him? Wait, are you going back to edit the text now? No, I'm going to put, I already added it. Should I put, should I put, should I put some else a K, you remember we did long-ordered again. Oh, God. Now it's getting embarrassing for you.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Wait, wait, no, that's not him. That was done. So the three dots come up. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I will have secretary if you're not my husband. Thanks, Jacob. You ended a marriage. You're happy with yourself.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Well, why now why do you say he doesn't like you? He's a pretty, uh, Stoic dude, right? Wasn't he a comedian? I don't know. They said, yeah, at some point, but like he hosted that thing, that comedy mixed tape, he would like hosts. Right. Why don't you think he liked you?
Starting point is 00:42:47 Who doesn't like Jay Big J Elkerson? They just, I was shut down all day. What do you mean, they? Those people. What do you mean those people? What the hell are you saying? Canadians. You know what I mean, man?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Jason. What else? I mean it, bro. Me and Lil were in our shirts, baby. Jason Me a little wearing a shot Shirts maybe jantics and six fat. No, you guys know how they get who's they damn. Oh them You mean them them oh They They can get they can get real snappy
Starting point is 00:43:29 Is there a double-double-dwinged? We're going nuts with it. Why do you have your own TV wraps up blue? What are you gonna play? Song for them. Huh for them people. Let's hear what do you think them people songs are Yeah Kill it will that watermelon Black we win the mother fucking house that water man's really fucking house Black we win the motherfucking house Black really went the motherfucking house I thought by the third one though, do the thing the drop for it
Starting point is 00:44:11 You know, there's he probably gave this phone to some like the third cousin in like Atlanta Probably has this phone now. Yeah, somebody's got two first names. I call it. Should I call it? No, yes? No, yes Now you gotta tell me on a radio show. It will end your Here's the problem. Why would I'm what do you blame? Let me just we can you give me a little bit of the blame for Chris Evans a little bit You give me a little bit. I merely suggested the dream fantasy that I wanted to do in this reach out the fact that you are willing to do it like if you were J text somebody famous in your phone, which I don't have many. I got a few in this reach out. The fact that you are willing to do it, like if you were Jay texts somebody famous in your phone, which I don't have many, I got a few text this crazy thing, I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, they're gonna like, no way. So you're blaming me?
Starting point is 00:44:57 For being, I think, it's not blame, blame's the wrong word. For doing it. You did it. I did it because you told me to do it. I was taking advice from a friend. That's not advice. That is advice. You said, dude, this is how you... It was the funniest outcome was for you. You just flat out asked Chris Evans a question and have him shut you down and block you forever, which he did quick.
Starting point is 00:45:16 He did. He did that so quick. Is this an example of anything interesting on enjoying me? Oh, okay. Please. Stop really quick These they visually yeah it lasted very short him sitting next to me because that's the first thing I know It's that's the first thing of the day visually he hates you both of these both of them them hate you
Starting point is 00:45:40 Yeah, can you run for a context like what are we? Bert at what is this is it? This is Berk-Rysh's cabin. And it's where you're supposed to, the concept was a few people each episode are up with Berk. Berk's supposed to be relaxing up at a cabin. They told him to relax, but instead he kept calling his comedian friends and and Caitlin Jenner to come up to his cabin and do like adventures with him, little like local adventures at the cabin.
Starting point is 00:46:08 And you say it's supposed to be, I say they were mixing worlds to get controversy, but you say no, they were putting people together that will have a good time together. No controversy whatsoever. But I was called in, this thing was probably booked months and months in advance, I'd have to assume, that's how it works They called me three days before I had to be out in LA I know excited cancel a gig remember like that weekend and I flew out to LA Christine just said, uh-huh. She has no idea what you're talking about
Starting point is 00:46:44 Got the worst air B and B. I ever got my life. Why? It was an apartment building and it's like there was very difficult, very difficult deal with. But that's not the one you got locked out of with the food. It is. Yeah. That's terrible. You had food in your hand. And then they don't tell the front desk that you that you got locked out because you're not supposed to be. It was just like a whole thing. It's up. Anyway, in between that, I went to to do this show where they did not enjoy me. I think it was like one day shoot. I think I had to be there one day, but it was like morning till like late night. But right away, we're sitting on that bench, that park bench, that was the first thing the day where he's sitting next to me and he moves away.
Starting point is 00:47:20 You've never met this guy. No. And you never met, you knew the other guy though, because he's a Philly comic. Do you a philly comic like I said he's not from philly but he's a comic no I think you should go I want to say the uncle but he's uh he's great they're both great they just didn't like me the uncle not so much the uncle was like pretty friendly over the course of day quite honestly uh we didn't like interact funny on the show at all but he was very nice and the answer wasn't not nice either but he just you know what was he was just sandbagging me in the sense of
Starting point is 00:47:52 uh... he wouldn't go along with the thing so it wasn't he was like saying i suck or anything but i would just say some you know up uh... uh... devil gonna strike you down not me you know just too much of that like he was afraid of your comedy for it to be a sort of he't he wasn't playing yes, and yes He wasn't playing yes, and it was just he was afraid he wanted it
Starting point is 00:48:11 He was stealing your fucking thunder but in his defense. Oh my god Because him and the uncle were probably both like why is this guy here? We could have just done this ourselves, but isn't that what I said at the beginning that they stuck somebody with somebody they're not supposed to be with Somebody was supposed to be there. Oh, maybe Maybe maybe maybe like One of these they got they got But instead of one of these he they got they got they got they got one of you Instead of that one of them they got this right here
Starting point is 00:48:56 Fine, you just put Jay with like two strangers, you know me. Oh, yeah I went with a real like oh man Anthony Anderson me myself and Irene like I'm gonna go in and I was just like by the end the day. I like I Don't even know if he's like a boy when he left Yeah, I think he was just like when he was out. He was out. I get it so far He's like defending him. You shouldn't get it. You're a nice guy when I don't get you're a nice guy You're one of the nicest guys in the human on the planet and anybody gets along I've never met anybody who doesn't get along with big Jay Okerson and I put the blame You know what I'm deleting this goddamn number out of my
Starting point is 00:49:29 Welcome so we can't text go fuck yourself piece of shit Thank you burnt that bridge another one for my friend big J and context on the bonfire I am here to stay bitches. So suck on that. Suck on that. They're going into each other party and just go on fine. They're sin. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Bobby's going to be taking pictures. They think I was in a room. They're vacation together. This moment here, yeah, where there are in the show. So they're roping us. That's the crazy deep tissue massage. I love those. I hate them, but I love them. It's vicious, but I will say very scary. Deon Cole just started bleeding from his nose and mouth. I'm sorry while this was happening. Nothing happened to his head at all. Like whatever they're nodding loose or knocking loose demons.
Starting point is 00:50:26 or knocking loose demons it was pretty crazy his nose and mouth started bleeding you should not bleed from massage that's not a good sign I'm pretty sure that's in the books yeah if your patient starts bleeding stop immediately and run and run take a take all evidence of your name and run there's a demon get a cross use the Lord's name keep play do you have any of these moments where well it's about to go the park adventure back to the little this is it white is thing I've ever done what is one thing you've done we use as a kid growing up in comp and you'd be like wait I'm doing I can't believe I'm on a sale book
Starting point is 00:51:01 okay one I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime. Going to the White House with a black president, and the black president, knowing who the fuck I was. I know, I know how to. You're not in... ...the Air Force, too, to Afghanistan, to do a USO tool. And then finding out that, and there's a black president in the White House, because there's Kool-Aid on Air Force, too.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I have a package of great Kool-aids from Air Force 2. I was like, oh shit. The first trip to the White House, you stole some bathroom tiles and brought them back to me because they had the White House seal on them. And that was like everything. I had never seen linen in this thick. And there's like a wall between you and the three of them. I feel like I know what I was going to say.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I think I'm holding back saying like, the couple of black guys the way how she immediately starts dealing shit. Wow. I held back saying it here. It feels like and I've been there, Jay, like they're having a three-way conversation. They are not interested in moving. You're just sitting there. I'm hanging. It's uncomfortable. I've never bonded with you so much than this now. This is breaking my heart because I've been there Nice Fake laughing. James fake laughing right now. Yeah guys crazy Yeah, this is fun. This is red at my alley I'm not at the beginning did it for me. Can I play a little more? Can I hear a little guys?
Starting point is 00:52:26 Sure. I love uncomfortable. And then a year later, we was in the way. We were in there. I was crazy. I went and went him one time to the white house. Why am I there? I'll tell you. They're having such a real moment. But it's a real moment for Black people. They're talking about a Black president. That's like a big thing to them. That means nothing to you. Oh, whoever was going to be, whoever was gonna be
Starting point is 00:52:47 the third person was a black person for sure. A hundred percent, no doubt. Yeah, they saw you the way you wear your hat like that and they were like, oh, he'll do. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. That hat, that sideways hat.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I think that's what I didn't like you. That's a sideways, yeah, they thought you were condescending him with your hat They're you trying to be I mean, I just woke up you put your hat on like a little tiny black kid What's up everybody Turn my hat to the side y'all Turn my hat to the side because I look like a scrope Hope you don't mind big J looks like a scrope I just am not doing well
Starting point is 00:53:46 On the cabin with Berk Reyeshier Anthony Anderson D.le. So, play a little more. Can I just see uncomfortable head nodding, Jay? Let's play a little more talk. Do you talk? The kids. Maybe. And I'll talk to my mother. Oh, fuck you, Jay, when you're meaningful eyes. I'm playing a piece of shit. Oh, stop, go back, please, just fight. And look at Jay trying to muster up fucking man. This means something you
Starting point is 00:54:06 Stanked right there stop oh You suck Jay sucks Look at you. That must have been a really great moment Yeah, I'm cool. I brought your children in the White House for them. For them to get to see that is really, if you told a little black girl in 1951, that one day, a little black girl would be going to the White House. I mean, Jay, you get so much going on though, you got a hat sideways, leasing the skanks. Bracelets out the wazoo.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Fingilist mittens. I got a fingerless mittens on. Which doesn't make sense when it's cold It's actually cold you could put the fingers back on These guys know what the fuck to do with you and then you're fake meaning for face. Oh Sometimes it's just time to listen What would I say nothing I'd listen to a thing. Yeah, man Jay you're not Jay's not a mouth. He's in ear. Yeah, I think people who look like me have talked enough
Starting point is 00:55:27 I think we've said plenty I think it's time to hear what you gentlemen have to say. Let me put some, take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. Shit, time for season word cotton. I should have used something else. Was it two races of a joke to say the other day were me and Christine got to that rap concert late? Is that because I only recognize three fists of rap concerts? You could take it on post if it's too much. Anthony Anderson wouldn't like that. Oh god damn it. There's good reason why they hate you. You have five different groups of people on your clothing. If they concern phase, it looks like I'm in the middle of a Billie Jean helping me get my scooter back.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah. Oh, shit. Really good. I play more. I still don't talk, I think. Oh, this is brilliant. I'm just here. I'm just here taking it.
Starting point is 00:56:18 I'm not going to cry. And this is not being honey on the table. Like they're having tea. Crying. You're talking about crying. Good. My house and I tell them nobody, but I could not believe that. No shit.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Yeah, I couldn't believe my mother cried too, because my mother was like, I'm in a White House. Right. To see that, to be like in the White House with a black president, I was, I was, I was surreal. That was, that was, that was dope. Oh, no, no, no, no! I was that was that was that was that was dope That's Jay inside that's his voice inside listening to this shit By this point by the rolping point I didn't want to make noise because he was doing that so big Anthony Anderson That I was like I'm like I'll just be quiet and through just suffer through mine
Starting point is 00:57:09 And I think you know they'd be like some oh I can say something. Oh, back go back let's see them laugh what is it I bet it I bet it's something fucking I bet it's something stupid I never thought about this it just probably why you did shit well we're on the store with a super long tape measure. Run his neck. Now they gave me fake laughs. Dragon like a bride veil. Turn this off. Can I go back if you look off? I don't like this at all. You got to look at this one.
Starting point is 00:57:34 You have to go back now. They're still sitting around the table and they're cutting in and out from then getting a massage. But if you go back just a little bit when he just this one he was laughing. Look at Jay. He got the lat. He got the punch and then he got the tag. And then after that, he just a little bit when he just this one he was laughing look at Jay He got the lat he got the punch and then he got the tag and then after that he takes a little breath of This isn't going watch watch right here watch watch his breath right one more right right here Did you know what I didn't think I was gonna do as bad as it was I just go that's all I have for this part
Starting point is 00:58:08 It's all I got. It's all I have for the part we still almost see you With that I'm gonna I'm gonna take my shot here now look up up up you were so excited you got approval You was so happy they approved of you. I'm about to lay it out again about some some actual factual This is about this is about seven hours later. Seven hours later, I said this probably. Are you guys playing paintball? No, we're just shooting Burt with paintballs. Again, they just show those two guys doing it. I'm there though. You can see my elbow. Yeah, you can see it. You can see his, you can see his nine different emotion and tattoo elbow. This is how I felt on
Starting point is 00:58:44 this day. And that's how I felt. So many emotions on tattoo elbow. This is how I felt on this day. And that's how I felt so many emotions on that elbow. And I felt like a star. And then I felt like a loser there. It does say useless in hell. They like each other a lot. They get along well. I mean, they get along well.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Yeah, white man on the loose. They're not even showing me. They had they like each other a lot they get along well. I mean they got along well They're not even showing me That's funny that they it's just them again 47 I was there I'm being elbow. That's it. Oh, yeah, here we go Just a little bit go back to that as much the the editor hated you. Oh, I mean no doubt They probably were doing me a merciful favor. They framed you out of the fucking shot There's only three of us it's a wide screen. That's a two shot. That's a two shot It's supposed to be a three shot and they centered them in the frame
Starting point is 00:59:43 All these two is moved the camera over to inches. All just do is use the crop, the little button on the computer and go, vump and go, vuh, and you're back in. Like, there's a version of this, where you're in this. They wanted me, look, I have different goggles too. Like, everything's wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:00 You don't have goggles, you have glasses, you don't even have, they gave them. I don't know if I have a gun. I say something else their outfits were given to them That was a that's that's that's a wardrobe They're wearing you're right. They're wearing Wardrobes they don't he doesn't own a fucking that would see shit you're right They're not to wear my own clothes the wearing swan sweatpants and sweatshirt and your own fingerless mittens And my mittens.
Starting point is 01:00:25 And my mittens and bracelets in half. Oh God. This really was just cropped out. You were cropped out. I'm taking out of the picture. Yeah. I mean, shot it in widescreen, the three of you, and you were cropped out on purpose.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Is this the first time you've seen this? Yeah. I'm shame. Now I'm realizing what's happening. I was there. I mean, I was there, so I remember. I watched the episode, but I just realized, I'm like, you never watch this. No. Wow. I mean, I was there. So I remember that episode. I just realized I'm like, you never watch this. Wow. I mean, they are having a blast.
Starting point is 01:00:49 That's so much fun. Do they? But here's the thing they flew by. They knew each other for a long time before this. Well, they're on the show blackish. Yeah. So they, of course, they're going to be. It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. I guess, but I mean, they could include you in the show. They could try. But me and if you're gonna fly me out, man, you know, you think you try to get me involved a little bit. I was dig through two black dudes from this show and then just some random fucking hot topic trans girl in. All right, Christine, don't over laugh. She likes some people give me the goods
Starting point is 01:01:27 I'm sorry She looks for someone gives me the biz Christine goes, that's good one Bobby, Christine will deal with you later Christine goes to the nice black ozempic item Alright, sorry I went to ozempic rage Alright so I'm cut out of this You're cut, I mean you're edited out of it I would know oz epic rage All right, so I'm cut out of this you're cut. I mean you're edited out of it. Mm-hmm. It's not like the camera It's so it's post-end with me and him wrestling. I mean, they're really not that good shots Well know the ideas you're supposed to go around him. Oh, and make a painting. I wouldn't have done it
Starting point is 01:02:00 I was shot in right let's see if you see if I lace some actual factuals down This time for 40, not. Yeah, wow. How old are you, Jay? You're 22. I think it's 40. I'm here right here. He ignored you.
Starting point is 01:02:11 You're like, wait, am I 40? I'm a man. He ignored you. Go back to that. Look at my face. You ignore me, motherfucker. No, you got just more interest in his life. Jay, I have to be.
Starting point is 01:02:22 I mean, you say 49. 40, no, I say 42 you say 42 and they ignored you yeah you said he asked me though he did ask you and they went right back back to him again how are you I just turned 40 now yeah wow how are you J 42 I think it's 48 maybe 49 up at those mornings you're like wait am I 40 you're not even there trying to wrap my mind around. Yeah, get some out Trying to engage My phone even works
Starting point is 01:02:51 It can't is up you could see Jay's eyes are going everywhere to get a connection with somebody I don't know what I was treading water all day But by the way, this is the crew the crew did this did my special. I know the crew They want me in but but no one knows what to do with me exactly I know they know it to ignore you. They're like let's exactly in here. I bet they had a conversation Just talk around them. I kind of have a look like I meet like I made you go to like one of my friends weddings And you don't know anybody and you don't want to be there. I don't know what I got there. I was excited for the whole thing.
Starting point is 01:03:29 You just... And then when we got there, I was like, oh these guys are not like... He went, how old are you, bang? How old are you, bang? How old are you? And you like, boom. And they went right back to him. He just goes, yeah, yeah. Anyway, 48 or 49 actually. Don't listen to him. Wow. I mean, you, you you my friend started me trying to make I you would trying to make I if you look at your I make like a shitty face look at his eyes. I don't even remember feeling that angry But it looks like I look get shitty with D on cold. He looks sad man. You look sad. He look very sad watch this Jay's eyes are going everywhere
Starting point is 01:04:03 How do you 49 47? How do you I'm just trying for it? J's eyes are going everywhere. How old are you? 49. 47. How old are you? I'm just trying 49. Yeah, wow. How old are you, J-42? I think it's 48. Watch J's eyes. I thought those mornings were like, wait, am I 40? I'm still trying to wrap around.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Watch here. Yeah, who do I look at? Where do I look? Where do I go? Where do I go? Let's see if I jump in at all. This is the round table like conversation again. J was trying to make connection with the boom holder
Starting point is 01:04:28 Everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show If you want the whole thing go to serious xm.com slash bomb fire for a special offer That's right and go to big jcomby.com and robber Kelly live comm to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo

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