The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Invisible Touch (feat. Julian McCullough)
Episode Date: December 15, 2022Julian McCullough has Phil Collins stories and gets educated in all things Feldog! ...
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On Big J. Ocarson, I'm Dan Soder.
You can listen to full 2-hour long episodes of the Bond Fire?
2 hours!
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And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. You know the woman won't sir cowboy,
and then you won't see the robbie, yo!
Well, it's buzzin' blood, it's a dust nut.
It's been more of a sin than bangin' bangin'.
But you guys pay for this, because he's not on Spotify. Yeah, well, come see us, dude. I'll slap you into Chris games. He's a stuff nice streaming. Huh? He has a stream of stuff
He's not on Apple. It's on you can't find his music. You can't download his music. Oh, you can't probably somewhere
Is it on the Neil you know you gotta find a party in the woods?
Maybe like playing there go to a thunderstorm in East Oklahoma. Just
maybe you might catch him. Remember there's no blue tooth signal. You can find me. Get yourself
on top of a Mustang and ride it out. Just have a woman get beat for a while and stand
up to her husband and then show up. And then and then thunder happens and then his song
starts. It's a nature. You can only stream it in nature. Yeah. Who's in America? It's a good idea.
Who got behind that? Yes.
Probably everyone around him. Yes, man.
Everyone that was being paid to help.
His hairstylist was like, this is amazing.
Oh my god. I love it.
So you're just like a rock and roll guy.
You know, Lewis pointed out yesterday that I was unaware of this all falls into what
we're talking about, too. But AJ McClain.
AJ McClain from in sync, sync right okay. I think AJ is from
the backroom yeah, okay. Yeah the bad boy. Yeah, fuck that up. You're the
name of Don McLean is like American pie. That's right. I'm sorry. I wasn't
getting all so confused. Also boys of summer. Yeah, no what? No, that was Don
Henley. That's not damn it. I'm a poor gas myself. Wow, you thought that was
that was. Hey, I got some good Don Henley dirt That was not damn it. I'm a poor gas myself. Wow, you thought that was, that was, woof.
Hey, I got some good Don Henley dirt.
I mean, go ahead.
I've left the show, Julie.
You embarrassed me.
You embarrassed me.
That was one of the worst things I've ever seen.
I've been sent to a work camp in Siberia.
You've thought all these years, the guy who's saying American pie is Don Henley.
Yep.
Or, or did you think that Don McLean sang Boys of Summer?
Which one was it? It definitely wasn't that one. This might be the first time Dan's heard the words Don McLean sang Boys of Summer? Which one was it? It definitely wasn't that one.
This might be the first time Dan's heard the words Don McLean.
In seventh grade, I told my best friend's parents that piano man was Bob Dylan, and I still
can't fall asleep when I think about that.
Oh, tragic nuts and you argued about it all the time.
Oh yeah, I was like, I'm pretty sure.
Get the or head out of your ass.
When I was 11 years old. Yeah, Dr. Morton, I'm pretty sure. Get your head out of your ass. When I was 11 years old.
Yeah, Dr. Morton, I'm pretty sure.
When I was 11 years old and I was in a sixth grade gym class
and Biggie just came out and they were like playing it.
I just remember being like, I love this.
And his back on my gym class goes,
is it a person or a group?
Oh, whoo!
And they were notorious BIG's.
A group. Oh, man. You.g. is a roof.
You don't know you don't know biggie. You thought b.i.g. was each third initials. Yeah, I was like it could be anything. I just walk away from my
KL this my KL this fucking you fucking throw me on quite the riddle
I remember you see return of the Jedi in the movies and make yeah, I think it was your favorite party. I fuck you forever
I was totally the kid. I just say yes, they keep going. Yeah, watch Jason
What was your favorite part? I probably say me sure as I mean everyone like the same part the crazy one
Yes, he didn't wear the mask in that one. Oh, God. I remember stuff like that. We get you on like that
You that's how they get you. Yeah, he's not the killer in the first one. Yeah, he wore a bag until
Three three. Yeah, I think three is in the hockey
But I did see it. Speaking of but I did see it ask my mom
Ask my mom. Hey mom. She took me ask my mom. Don't you know, we had each other's mom's numbers.
So it's like ask my mom.
You can't ask my mom.
You can't find her.
You can't get caught.
She's off the grid.
You don't ever contact him, though.
And you really just in your mind, though, there was a thing you're like, if she ever asked like,
mom will get my back.
Yeah, say we saw the movie.
I wouldn't let him.
She knows the broke.
And you go, yeah, she makes a feel.
She makes you look gay in school.
Yeah.
She's like, I would never let him watch that.
We watch musicals because we are so Jewish.
We love animal movies.
Did you just shout out my first comedy album,
Gay in the School?
Oh.
Oh.
Speaking of the Friday the 13th franchise,
a young Tommy was once played by a virtual so child actor
by the name Corey Feldman.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, we have a long, he hates us. He really is. Oh, doesn't he Oh wow. Yeah, we have a long he hates us.
He really is.
Oh, doesn't he?
Yeah, we're blocked on all social media.
We're not allowed to see him.
When he comes in the building, he asks like to not.
He lives in New York.
No, he just come in before and like you know,
when you get a concert here,
our to use the bathroom, our pictures were like
a person on grotto.
Wow.
Yeah, one of his one of his one of Corey's angels told us that they had our pictures and the security was so bad, we got it anyway. I'm not sure if it's a person. I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person.
I'm not sure if it's a person. I'm gonna tell you right now No, no, no, no, no, you did yeah, I know and also Cory felt me but it's if Cory felt I'm still alive
It's the pain is still alive. No, I don't think you understand this the relationship between the two Cory
Filman has spent his entire sense. Quarer haimes died just burying him
J. H. Oh, just like a base. No, no, no
He's right. I mean like he will nonstop tell everyone how you got rates.
It's a whole Hollywood story.
They always go, so what happened?
They'll go me and him were molested and taken advantage of by this industry.
And they go, what happened?
You got like figuratively.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what happened you guys?
And he goes, dude, there's made, there's a movie he made about this.
A lifetime movie.
Why would he rope?
Can you bring him into this?
Can you bring up a tale of two core. He was cool names mother hates Cory. Yeah, you can't do that
You can't be like but also my friend. No, not even also he goes so what happens to you guys?
And I'll be like well
I've been there but fuck them on the set of Lucas and they but fuck them over on this set
And then he ended up sucking off my shaper on the go well, that's crazy
He goes what did you get involved in he like, and then he blew two other producers.
I think a gang bang.
Wow.
So we go down this whole rabbit hole.
And this is a life time.
I thought you were going to just talk about how terrible
is like dancing and music is now.
We'll get to that.
OK.
There's a reason that we feel comfortable.
Because he's like a bad person.
Well, he's just not that person.
He's a professional broken by Hollywood. Right. He's absolutely cool. It sounds like he's kind of a bad person. He's just, he's a professional broken by Hollywood. Right. He's absolutely
good. Sounds like he's kind of a bad person. Yeah. Yeah. From there. I mean, it's a certain
age. So you know, in biography movies, when they are, it's clear who wrote the movie. Yeah.
Like straight out of Compton drain, never hits a woman. Right. I never see that. Like,
yeah. Notorious is like, P Diddy, it makes biggie. It wasn't big. Yeah, by the way, Michelle a made a movie and it's almost you have they just have slight breaks between Dr.
Dre pummeling her face nonstop. It's crazy. She made a lot of
Oh, he shot her he shot at her he fought cops. He beat one lady comes home. I don't remember any
In the Michelle a movie. It's crazy. I saw straight out come to three times. I don't remember any of that. It's not. To do. In the Michelle a movie, it's crazy.
I saw straight out Compton three times.
I don't remember any of that.
It's not in that.
Oh my god.
It's in Michelle a movie called like something about conflict.
Constantly surviving Compton.
Oh, and it was.
And she says, she goes, you saw that movie come out, but they don't tell my story, but
I was there the whole time.
And I mean, in that movie, she Shabbat, Dre was doing great.
His album was doing huge and he was doing fantastic.
He was never happier and then he comes home and she's in bed and she goes, hi, I missed
you and he goes, he just fucking gets like a top position on her and just looks slugging
her in the face like seven times and then it goes to bed and she goes, I cried and said,
I was sorry.
I'm like something's missing for the story going on
Like something's missing there
Walking in the room and kick the shit
And you'd be like non-stop. I feel like either of these people are reliable. I know
And they do the biography thing where he goes
Forgot about right
Motherfucker, motherfucker, think you forgot.
Oh, it's glad I could contribute.
The beating was terrible.
So, she was so fucking that movie.
So, it's so fucking nuts.
So, a tale of two quarries.
Okay, so where is this?
It's clear.
I love bringing somebody into this.
We're all of this.
This is insanity.
It's clear that Corey Fane never ending
Corey's.
It's an American Corey.
It's clearly written by Corey Feldman.
It's clear, like, and you just,
the whole movie is about Corey Hayne being absolutely
butt fucked by Hollywood.
And then Corey Feldman, the B story,
to Hayne getting constantly butt fucked,
is Corey Feldman having a difficult time
because he's so awesome and famous
that like it's just hard to navigate life like that.
But one of the best, it will not be, it will not be.
It's Michael Jackson calling me going, how do you do it?
I'm not off.
You're not that far off.
No.
Not only enough for off.
This is fun.
It's way less.
It's way worse than what you're saying.
It's serious.
Very, very correctly.
It's like, and we were on set of goonies and everything was gone pretty sweet.
And then they show Steven's go.
That's a bizarrely good Cory Felt. No,, he does a better. Oh really? Yeah, because it
depends which one you want to do man. Yeah, that's how to come. Cory, I can't get
minds cartoon. His is real life. Yeah, so but he's like Spielberg pulls him
aside and he's like, and Steven Spielberg wanted me to meet someone and it's
Michael Jackson and he goes, Hey, it's really nice to meet all you guys. Cory Filman, oh wow, I heard about your dance moves.
I'm a huge fan, huge fan of yours.
Michael Jackson is a huge fan of yours.
And also I heard you've been learning some of my dance moves
and the thing with your mind showing me
and then just as that like a waist shot
where you can't hear them anymore,
like someone else is watching them
and it's just like Cory Filman doing like this.
Yeah, it's like, Michael Jackson's like,
let me, Dan, do I count the three?
No, no, it's as bad as Enforus Gump when Elvis goes,
hey show me that little dance movie.
Yeah, Elvis is like, and it's fucking, you know,
bracelet.
The best thing we found out, me and Dan,
how, just how in tune me and Dan are,
was both of our significant others.
Um, vouch for this because I watched it with Christine and you watched with Katie.
Yeah. Right. And when we watched it, they both said there's a scene in this where Corey Feldman
is being bullied at school because he's in the lost boys. Yeah. That's why he's being bullied.
They're like, Oh, a vampire hunter boy. This guy thinks he's in the lost boys. Yeah. That's why he's being bullied.
They're like, oh, a vampire hunter boy.
This guy thinks he's so cool.
Are you even the coolest possible thing he can be?
Yep.
Yeah.
This never happened in a Los Angeles school where they're
shitting on you for the day.
You and this before, Kate, yeah, I watch this by myself.
I think it's Vecchio.
It's Vecchio and Watson.
It's Vecchio.
Yeah.
It was because what happened was there's a seam, they're
bullying him.
And then he goes into the bathroom
Dig a piss and of course these three guys come to bathroom and surround him and they start pushing him and we both me
We mean they both heard we paused the movie and said to the person in the room. He's gonna win this fight
Dude, I swore to God when we told each other we were like that's I did the exact same thing
We're paused it watching it with Mike and I looked at him and
I went, knowing Corey Feldman, he's going to make this a win.
Now that's a tale of two quarries.
Well, one punch goes down the ground.
He punches one gun to stomach, head butts the other guy and the third guy runs away.
Play the trailer.
Play the trailer for Julian.
Taylor's work is amazing.
And if you haven't watched Taylor to Corey's on lifetime, it is fantastic.
Treat yourself.
I was bullied in school because I was a BMX ninja.
Yes.
Yes.
Turns out I was a pussy jealous
where I could play a pussy like a
shallow.
Everyone hated me because I was getting so
much pussy and had all great drugs.
I was first I won the math cup and then
I won the karate championship.
So is this the fight scene? No, it's just a trailer. Oh, okay. Oh, that's good enough
Yes, so far I love it
Okay, so let me get this straight your name is Corey my name is Corey. You're an actor. I'm an actor
Wait, did he get it straight?
I'm an actor
Wait, did he get it straight?
Dude by the way, yeah Keith Kuggen the dishes are done man. Give them a good old butt fucking in a bathroom
Wait, there it is. There's a
Go back. Oh my god, cuz they do something where you go like he's called moonwalking go back like five more seconds
They really try to give him credit for everything you got a Hollywood square slate today shows like that are the people at the
end of their careers you're just getting started you made a lot of really bad
decisions from my career
a lot of really bad decisions from my career. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm I guess Could something have happened sure.
Oh my god.
I had no idea.
This is what he was doing.
The actor that played Cory Feldman listened to the bonfire
when he talked about it.
And DM me and was like, it's exactly what you guys thought.
It said it was on set with Cory Feldman being like, actually,
and probably would have done it a little.
You'll.
Oh my god.
Yeah, you'll love this two phenomenal.
So he's on yours, though.
Two, yeah, because I mean,
this two phenomenal scenes in this movie that won
to me in Jacob.
It might have been our first like big laugh bond together
was when he comes at a rehab one time.
He goes, he need to Corey Hayme to pick him up.
And Corey Hayme was too much to pick him up.
So he's under waiting.
And they, while they show the time lapse of him waiting,'s like he looks at his wash and he's like I guess
I'll wait and then it does like you know moments later and then one of them is going to go and it's like
take your grab his while he's waiting yes while he's waiting in a parking lot he's like that's not it
that's always because he's always working yeah always yeah he's always gotta be doing things with
grind it made me laugh so hard and as a a montage of Corey. He'm just getting raped the whole time
Why so the oh I was gonna say why the mom
Hayme's mom has to hate him so much is the scene because that's the other one I was gonna say that's just
Bananas Keith Kuggen plays one of Corey Fulman's chaperones
because they're underage.
And they're in a room with Corey Haynes
sharing a hotel room.
And Corey Haynes, like,
can we get some chicks or something?
And they're like, do there's no chicks around.
And I go, can we get some dudes then or something?
Sort of guy.
And he goes, what?
Because at this point, Hayme was just so sexed up.
He would do anything.
And then Keith Kuggen goes, I mean, I could do something like that for you if you want.
And Corey Hayme's like, yeah, I guess let's go fucking the bathroom.
And then they go in the bathroom and you start hearing like, and Corey Feldman, they
play sad music because he goes, it's almost like, now I'm lonely, and he goes for a walk.
He's like, he goes for a walk, Michael Jackson moves.
Not even, he goes for a walk down a highway
and a smoking hot chick pulls up in a truck,
gives him coke for the first time.
Give him coke and fucks him.
And fucks, and she's like a hot 30 year old lady
They just have a crazy hot fuck scene if she does coke with them while he's off there
Just getting wailed on in a bath me while it aims getting just put on tile
She's just like get put on the tile and she's just like I got a suck this kids dick. Yeah, he's just getting mr. Clean
So it's an insignificant mean anything to the movie. He just gets fucking laid while Corey Haynes getting plowed.
He's like, all right,
my ass will plug in me getting some hot bus.
So through the years we've watched all this,
we've tracked it like fucking people that hunt tornadoes.
That one.
That one.
That one.
That one.
Oh, we have measuring film tools.
And then at one point, someone was like,
oh, you know, he has a book out called choreography
Yes, yes
This is the only part of his career. I love and then titles for everything and then we find out that he is an audio book
You know, they used to call it core cane
And then there's an audio book
But he reads the book and the beginning of the book, Jacob, listen to the whole thing,
front to back. The beginning of the book.
You got to hear some, well, we have some drops.
So the beginning of the book is Corey, just, Corey Feldman, just talking about Corey Hame being fat,
dying, and about how he got raped when he was a kid. That's how he opens the book.
Actually, we also, one of my favorite quotes from this.
I almost feel like he doesn't love Corey Hey, I'll tell you what he does in the beginning of this one of our favorite drops is
He goes I remember the time that my mom said that I had to go film a commercial and I said
Do you have first commercial
Dude, that is adorable. Yeah, he is
He's really that's a problem, is he so charismatic.
Here's the thing we, you'll get past that.
I believe everything he says.
But we love him as an actor when he was a kid.
We love him.
Rubber.
Oh, come on, come on.
Once we start seeing him, Barry Corey,
Hayme, and then-
Hayme had turned into quite a mess.
Wow.
And then Hayme-
His hair was thinning.
He was close to 300 pounds.
And Hayme allowed himself to be sotomized.
Can you hear him smiling?
Yes.
Dude, Hayme allowed himself,
could you have a,
and I said,
scabotabies.
Scabotabies.
Scabotabies.
You know what I'm saying?
He's adorable.
I can't imagine doing that to a friend that you're doing your audiobook, if you're
biography.
And that's when Mike said, fuck my ass.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm in it.
And then Dan proceeded to throat that stranger.
Jane knew he wasn't going to go anywhere.
And that's the end of our prologue.
So Jay allowed the trucker inside of him.
Wow.
A log by Jerry Seinfeld.
By the way, 10.
What's up with Seinfeld?
Who is Seinfeld?
Come on.
And then they should have Anthony Keetahs do the Seinfeld,
but um, but I don't know.
That's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
Skippy, but he went over Anthony Keetahs. but I'm filled but I'm that's skipy but
so as far as book
audible books things right
like I hate to change because
it's subject obviously it goes
deep and we can talk about this
we have a new thing though to show
you of course that's what's all
eating well I have a light one to take us out of this
so but you let's finish
we do the light one for it? No, we do.
We divert, then we go back.
This show has no question.
All right, so I, maybe the only one who listened to Phil Collins,
not dead yet, or whatever, his memoir, it's called like,
still, oh, it's like still alive.
It's like the what's like, they didn't even name it.
Barely, by the way, you just saw him in concert.
I know.
He's not, I don't need to barely by the way. Yeah, I know
Okay, so
You're super careful you're talking about
Guy wrote guy wrote the music for Tarzan. Yeah, watch your mouth against the logs
So he this is the kind of guy this one story will tell you everything you need to know about football
So he goes I can't do a British accent, but he's like, my boy is in high school and he came home one day and he was very fore-learned
and I said, what's wrong?
And he said, I have a crush on a girl,
but she doesn't even know I exist.
And I said, you haven't spoken to her?
And he said, yeah, but I'm heartbroken.
And I said, well, it sounds like she has an invisible touch.
So this guy quotes his own songs while his son is sad.
His dad, he goes, dad, I'm pretty sad because you sound like a
m-m-mong-mong gay. I feel like Fulcong's looked at an invisible camera
after he said that and winked. He was breaking forth wall before
Steve Carell even thought of that. But, he's like, but I told the plumber if he didn't come in and fix my pipes to that Sue,
Sue, yeah, Sue, yeah.
Sounds like she's going to an invisible touch and then her son immediately describes the
bridge of his nose.
And he says,
This is why I don't tell you anything.
This is why I was, this is why I was doing heroin at 14.
Billy, don't lose that number.
My name's not Billy. You know you named me. Yeah, Philly Jr
Well, you know son you know son of man
Here's a that crutch the old fuck and then another real quick one is that so he was you know and
Cut in the air tonight. Yeah, so he played it on top of the pops for the first time and you know
And that was like the first time he
It was on the radio. Those are the first like video version of it, right?
So he plays it on there and the whole thing is that
The rumor is that his he was on tour and ignored his wife and she was like you're not gonna go on tour and ignore me and he was like
Come on
like
Would I do that?
You know and then he does and then she they have a guy remodeling and painting their house
They're like a state while he's gone and she had an affair with that guy, right?
That's like the whole thing. So that's why he gets to be the victim in that whole album, you know
So then in the top of the pops video he is
Playing at a piano and he put cans of paint like like like he'd been working on the set or whatever on the piano.
As a little.
As I like pay fuck you to his wife, right?
And everyone called him on it.
Everyone was like, that's messed up, dude.
You like totally are doing that on purpose.
And he always denied it.
He was like, no, I didn't.
What?
That was just there.
Oh, that's funny.
I can see how you could see that. Yeah. And then in the audiobook, which was just there. Oh, that's funny I see how you could see that yeah, and then in the audiobook which I'm just a bit of a
Huffer like five years ago paint like this is this is 40 years later
He's still like I don't know where people get that idea. They were those paint hands were just there man
Wow, you know what though? I kind of respect for Phil Collins. He's taking that to the great
Just I don't know what you're talking about. No, his deathbass can go, come here.
Yeah, he was,
Cause you know how, when,
I had sex with Corey Hayne.
Oh, he goes, I remember.
I remember.
You know how TV sets, they just leave out like paint
when they've been painted.
Yeah, you know.
They just leave it on set.
Guys, we're about to film this video.
Does anyone know?
We don't have time to get rid of it. Just go, fill plays. You know
You use is that a roll of frog tape over the end of the piano you actually find the video
You guys doing corners, but anyway, so that's my light. So Corey Feldman
Is on tour now again now with a male backing band with just his wife. Well, hold on. We should also, it'll bonfire context. Sure.
Also tell Julian that when we went in Saw Quarry Feldman,
it was a live concert in 2017.
Oh my goodness.
You went to the concert?
Yeah.
It was where our pictures were,
where we weren't supposed to get in.
And it was a birthday show at a,
Highline Baller,
Highline, yeah.
And we went in there and he was like, I'm going to play a three hour show.
It's my birthday.
And then he was the head fake one.
That was the greatest thing.
And then he has he goes normally, we've been up here doing like two and a half hour,
two two and a half hour shows every night, but he said a head fake.
And he goes, but tonight's my birthday, you know, like I want to be able to have like
a good time and stuff.
So how about tonight? How would you feel if we played at least a three hour
show for you guys? And Dan looked at me and went, I don't know if I had in the tank. Three
hours. Yeah.
Girlfriend that wasn't quite getting it. Yeah. I was just wasn't a good mix, but I mean,
and then I did. And then, of course, he laid in and I stayed the whole time. Oh, yeah, the second you saw
the
The way how could you take your eyes off you couldn't he played one of our favorite songs ascension millennium
We know his entire cattle. Wait, it's called ascension millennium
Lou, could you please give Julian a little ride on a spaceship?
No, I just never heard two words that make more sense together. Yeah, well, I'd say one put the video up on the screen.
Oh, yes, all one take.
It's brilliant.
I couldn't afford a night out here.
Sean Astin's in it though.
It is.
Noice.
Uh, but we, uh, but we watched him and it's the most self
grandizing.
A grand, a grand, I think.
Yeah, self a grandizing concert of every
scene where she he shows stats of like this but there are always things it was
like stats it goes for the screen it'll be like four million records sold in
south of stretch watch this is the one take asc Ascension Millennium? Yep. Millennium. Cory's Angels.
Well, why would you need another take if he's perfect?
You're not wrong.
Yeah.
He's already dressed.
Is this the song?
Yeah.
Dude Jacob Bull rush the stage like he's starting to play in killing in the name of.
I already out of the shower. Dude Jacob bull rush the stage like he started playing killing in the name of
Already out of the shower
Oh, you you lost it at the show you could you couldn't take it dude. He got in it. Yeah, he's how's he alive to
I think he's pickled with something. Yeah
Yeah
That's his manger. He's like that wasn't his manger. He's like she did that terrible, but just keep filming
That's her
Wait, that's not her either
Huh, he might not be in his life at this point. Oh, yeah, he was he was plowing all the angels at one point does he have
So he's puts on a mic. Does he get money? Our concerts My pockets when he puts on a live concert and so there he goes and then he's going down the stairs putting on the gloves two gloves
Because he's not Michael by the way. He got the other half of my gloves. It's just fingers. Oh, yeah
Why are they so short? Oh cuz his hands are so big?
Is that the love to lose you try to create? Oh? I'm John asked
How did he get Sean asked to be in this? It was before
stranger things. He didn't get to
be served a shit. That's not far back
enough to. No, it's. It was before
lost boys. Okay. And then he's just a
pool party, dude. And then he's the
kid dancing. Who's sponsoring him? What is this energy drink? Oh, it's hilarious. He had energy drinks drop in there. That's really funny
He had to drop a product drop a full they just put their reason have a full banner and tent out back your house with this
Absolutely, there was some of those L.A. Cheesy guys going to this being like you want to go to Creephyl and tell us what you're full of music
Yeah, look at what's neon energy drink is that it's hilarious.
I never made this for the video before.
And then those guys got there and they're like this is
probably going to be stupid and they're like this is amazing.
Or the couple on the tree is a phenomenal performer.
What?
Like I can't tell what's happening.
Christine, do me a favor.
Hit pause this.
Go outside.
Take a lap around the studios and come back.
No talent.
No talent singing
Oh, I've seen that in that old video
Okay, take it back to the improv when he hosts evening at the end of all this and it started all the commitment in that
You're like it starts with dance moves first. That's the craziest thing your brain can't do look
They're all in sink and he's just like
fucking fucking right. He's doing it his way because they something you're not wrong at all in what
you're saying. That thing on the improv is one of the most intriguing videos I've ever watched. We're
interesting videos because it's that. He goes. Someone do a song right now that I wrote with Michael
Damian and and then the music starts and he has just just into a become G baby. But no, it's not. I know. But it's a worse song.
It's a way worse song.
One, he lip sings it.
Two, starting with dance move.
He doesn't start dancing when he starts singing.
He just right away plays music and he goes, all right, I'm going to start now, everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, just to just begin dancing is so weird.
I never got to the part where he eats.
He just eats when he's walking around and then watches TV
I've never melting. I've never seen the end of this video then he checks the time on his fake watching
He's like, oh, I'm late for going back upstairs
What a damn dude what a day in the life look at the Feldman time and then he just goes back and fucking smash this some angels. Oh he records
It goes back and fucking smash some angels. Oh, he records.
I wonder if what the chorus came out.
He was like, hey, can we do something about this legal?
Can we?
Closed on Mighty One, anyway.
Wow.
But anyway, in that video, your brain is like
trying to wrap itself around the commitment
on such a terrible, what an obviously terrible thing it is.
And you're like, how is this person, how do they exist?
Yeah, the real victim mind bottom.
The real and the crowd is staring at him.
Gobsmacked. They're just like, what is this?
The real the victims here are the bands.
He hires always because they they're embarrassed to be there.
Yeah, they're not.
No one's ever like, you know, this guy actually rules.
Their faces are always like, well, we got to hide their faces.
Yeah, they do.
I think we have to dance well as we have to play while this guy just spazes out on stage. I bet those are guys that
just delivered the neon energy drink. And he was like, can you pretend to play a keyboard?
Yeah. And he goes back to bed. Love it.
Love it. I am.
Full circle of life.
God.
So what we have, what we have for you right now is a friend of the show Natalie Katie Nashville
She went to the Corey film and show last night last night. Yeah, and sit in Nashville dog. He's on the road constantly
This guy plays no, it's hilarious hilarious. He's right. Yeah, but it is hilarious. It'll be it like Billy's tavern
It will be in something like that for real
It'll be like outside of the fright fest. Yeah
Outside what the outside one's great.
He's got his sidekick with the clicker
when people walk in to count the, oh,
count the tickets.
And they go, Mr. Feldman, 76 people.
Yeah.
They don't shift me a $5 hit.
No, that sounds like a tough stake
down near the train tracks.
Good job, Scooter.
They're like, here's 27 rolled up dollar bills.
And he's like, that reminds me of the time Corey Hayne got butt fucked.
Like now!
You're fucking me like Hayne.
He performed it.
He performed it a place that has table seating.
That's crazy.
Dinner theater.
Oh, so anyway, so when the show opens up,
this is this crazy thing of all his factoids and stuff
So that's what she said. Oh, those are the stats. We get to watch the stats if you'll be very beginning
Look at this because it says in 1971 a human being was born
To be trained groomed and sculpted into a multi-talented powerhouse and
Tertainment powerhouse. Do you know it's crazy?
1971 he was the only human born
1971 don't look it up, but like that's true
In fairness, he was the only human board. Do you want to sit here so you can read from this screen?
I can read it. I can see you guys can see it. Well damn actually
His laser eyes nailed it. No my legs are as you're fading it's horseshit that your eyes work that good like you
Like I haven't taken care of my body at all and neither of you and you have like eagle eyes
It makes no sense. Do you drink a lot of watch? I feel good. I feel like my eyes are going slowly. Okay, a sense
You guys want to know who was born in 1971
Just Corridor what's that?
Corridor wait, maybe one other person so wait in 1986 his for play it. I'll read it his first song was written and recorded
It shows him in rock and roll high school 19. I was
First loud is that the real crowd was released on vinyl featuring Michael Damian. What a weird he keeps plugging Michael Damian
He was a soap opera actor. I know I saw let me tell you some Michael Damian, he was a soap opera actor who had a song. I love her. Let me tell you something. Michael Damien is the perfect guy to be his friend.
Are you kidding me?
He brags about Michael Damien so much.
If you said Cory Fulman had a best friend in 1986,
who was it?
I go, ah, Michael Damien, Jack Wagner.
Don't do that to Jack Wagner.
Jack Ladder was a goddamn gentleman.
Take it back.
I think it back.
Chris go and fleece to where my everything.
Oh, I need his for you to take that back.
Just a little more time.
Michael Damien is a perfect person,
but talk about full circle.
He calls out that he wrote a song with Michael Damien
on the improv show.
And here we are in 2022, he's still shouting out Michael Damien.
Like, anyone who's goes, he knew Damien?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
The rock on guy.
I don't know if it's full circle or limited credit.
Yeah.
All right, so Michael, I can't read that.
19.09, first single was released on vinyl,
featuring Michael Damien for the Dream A Little Dream soundtrack.
That's what he sings on.
Here's him doing Michael Jackson dances.
His wife has to come out. I'm not going to be a little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit Yeah, I mean does he know that no It's like windy city. I can't even ask that. It's like windy city. He thinks he what's this? It's like the room
He's the room, but like he's a human room. Wait, dark. Oh, hey Mark. What is this? There's a tank and the military he had a little animation done
Oh my god, they're not waving American flash. I love that this crowd like it makes total sense that the crowd would be going nuts for all this stuff
Ironically and he's like yep
Because they're cheering at all the right thing because I feel like we're not patriotic at now. Now they're waving the flags of Cory
That's just pictures of him
This what that's the right one
I want to send you I want to send a video of the angel singing, but...
Hold on.
Wait, are they doing a Pledge of Allegiance to Cory Weldon?
I want to see the intro.
Can you just see him standing on the side waiting for his entrance?
He's just there.
He's just there
Stamming broad daylight everyone can see him standing there
He's right there
Oh Oh Oh, it's dead air pause it for a second. Here's what's the shame. He really does I don't think I can handle it
He was good at like the build up of intro forget the facts how funny they are what he's doing with like the
The quick play montages getting down the and then having some voice say something like you know a weird recording voice
And then she kick into some fucking hard music the problem is gonna kick in the Corey Feldman music and two
And then she'd kick into some fucking hard muse the problem is gonna kick in the Corey Feldman music and two
He's gonna play ready where everyone's sitting at tables and it is crazy well lit So there's no real like explosion of entrance this guy could do they see them all coming and plugging their instruments in by themselves
God let's watch the centro oh
No, that was him the whole time.
Did not see that coming.
He's not playing the harmonica right. He's not.
Do you know how hard it is? He's going playing the harmonica right You know
So he's doing nothing with his hands. He's just blowing in the same spot. He's blowing that beat
Yeah, that's a hey, that's a hey, Monica
It only blows
Hey, hey Monica. I am like just I mean this is the one you should see I want to go
But my face wouldn't I wouldn't be able to move yeah, I just I just be like there is a moment We're like yeah, I you know of it. We also change there aren't that many people in the world that are built like this
One of the great is a treasure in a way absolutely. Yeah, and I will say we changed
We changed his set list at the show you like swapped it out because we were sorry
We saw we we got the set list and we saw he wasn't doing a
What's up with the youth if you remember the the sheet of songs from the early 90s.
What's up with the youth?
Yeah.
So you remember that song?
No.
What's up with the youth?
What's up with the youth?
Blacks have one.
I did.
It's awful.
Do we perform?
Do we perform?
Do we perform?
It's on steroids.
I think it's fine.
Why are you asking me to remember what's up with the youth?
No.
Oh, it was one of it.
Oh, dude.
It was one of his songs.
You guys have you guys have lost track of how deep you are into this
You know, you know what's up with you?
We're full Donnie Brasco
We're fucking dude you so far inside it
Who's that Howard Stern
Oh, that's really how it's turn yeah, okay
Yeah, this is on Howard Stern's like channel night show
He's
When he does the Michael Jackson dancing wrong kind of when he does the Michael Jackson dancing wrong
It seems like a whole like he's having a See the prince bat dance video
The bat dance
He sings a Christmas song to the crowd in the one I said you go back to that
But this is a song, but anyway, it went to concert. He wasn't doing that when he took one of his two on-course breaks
We started chant we got a chant going
for what's up with the youth and he came out and he goes, well I think I know what song
you guys want to do man, and did it and did it.
And he did.
Did he do any of the old dances?
Did he remember the dances?
He seems like a dream.
He's doing a little little trade secret around here.
What?
It's all the same dance.
So yes.
Okay.
The secret sauce is.
He does all the dance. So the same dance. So yes. Yes. Okay.
He does all the dance.
The secret sauce is the secret sauce is there is no secret sauce.
What's up, we're empty.
Jay, you're doing it.
You're still talking.
You did it.
Also real quick guys.
Just in case you didn't know born in 1971 two
pox are cool okay snoop dog balls equals Salina with no to writer okay Mark
Walberg uh-huh Jared leto you and McGregor and Elon Musk wow so that's the
bottom that's the bottom nine and then we're okay we found out that's the bottom nine. And then Corp. We found out that.
We found out that.
Yeah, he goes, by the way, a human entertainment powerhouse.
Well, those of you we just named.
Yeah, you just like keep guessing.
Is it two bucks?
Yeah, two bucks a bit of a writer.
Two bucks a better musician and actor than Corey Feldman.
Oh, hell now.
You know, saying not big snoop dog.
He's like, I was a
crap. Oh, let's watch this. Him's doing a Christmas song. I know we got to go. But
hey, why don't you have the snow people just be right on the stage? He's hitting everyone with
fake snow in the audience who sit down at a table. So it's going into glasses of water.
You're texting. Look at the guy just texting. He's doing something else.
Going into glasses of water and texting, look at the guy just texting and he's doing something else. Okay, he gave 30 seconds warning to cover your plates and drinks.
Oh, nobody could, how could you?
Cover your plates and drinks.
By the way, go back.
There's, you see the lady who was just shaking her head now.
Yeah.
Yeah, her drink's toast.
Look, she looks over, she goes.
Okay, go back, go back, go back.
Just like, just why?
Why? Dude, you're just like, why? Why?
Dude, you're just getting chemical snow on you?
Yeah.
Could you imagine exerting all that cleafball energy of those dance moves while an audience
of people are sitting down the whole time?
Imagine you just got your whole lobster.
There we go.
I barely could crack into a claw.
This cocksucker puts fake snow all over it.
I got some kind of chemical in my drone butter
$9 for this lobster. Hey last boy. You just fuck this filet up. I paid upwards of $9 for this shit hole
Hey frog brother. You just got fake snow in my oysters. Dude, how can you cover your stuff? It's
They're hosing them down like it's a firing sting, which sure
Your stuff it's they're hoasing them down like it's a firing sting wish sure
It's got to be funny to doing this to people and then not enjoying it's like
You saw like when a rock star goes out and like does this with his water Yeah, just before you show one person the front road is getting duched with the water be like I don't like this
This is a whole audience of people he's, you want some snow in your soup?
You're like, stop.
How's that lobster bisque?
It's snow.
It's also a marching drum.
Jiggle.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war.
Christmas war. Christmas war. Christmas war. Christmas war laughing at him.
They're laughing at him in the audience.
What does he see?
I want to know.
I don't know.
That is a good question.
I want his eyes.
I just want to put on glasses.
Rose-colored glasses, baby.
If they could invent glasses that see the world away,
Corey Feldman sees the world.
That how good would that feel?
Oh my God.
You just walked out of Strip New York and all the girls are flashing
you like.
Just cut to Katie's.
Blasting with snow.
She, she was, she's going to cry.
And she knew what she was getting into.
That's the best part.
She went for us, yeah, basically.
By the way, these guys are just hammering the audience with these snow machines.
No one's into it.
Their backstage going, Cory's going, they definitely love the snow.
Yeah.
Cory, I'm starting to think, maybe we don't do the snow tomorrow.
Guys, they do the snow every show
It's Christmas the snow gun store was like about to go out of business and then these guys watch
They should they're gonna cause his hives. Yeah, I look she's showing it all people's plates and shit double guns
First of all, so they're like can we buy your entire inventory of fake snow and they were like it is a
entire inventory of fakes now. And they were like, it is a miracle. Again, to plate to go out there and perform rock music
while people were eating chicken like legs on is so weird.
It's pretty cool. Like, they go down. This is last night.
Yeah. Yeah, dude, we're gonna catch him. You'll catch him.
Does he have a website? Yeah. Oh yeah. For sure.
Your listeners are probably like, they just did this again
to another.
We gotta take a break.
We talk about him like we fucked him for years.
With a wrap up.
Julian?
All right, well Julian, thank you so much for hanging out with us.
No problem.
Thank you for just completely blowing my mind.
I'm quite relieved with all this Feldman's. I had no idea. It's like you told me about Bitcoin the day after Bitcoin
Are we wrapping the whole show now?
Okay
Well then we'll stick them out with Julian then join thanks for hanging out with us. Yeah
Dan Sodor of course gonna be in thought-off this weekend. I'm gonna be the stress factor
He gives a shit big jay comedy comm dan s, we'll be right back. It's all for nothing. We'll never touch
Corey Filman's ability to intro. I need to intro in some snow.
Run!
JimiDee!
Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bond Fire is a radio show, a full show. We got
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It's basically the same thing.
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