The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Joey Roses Origin Story (feat. Colin Quinn)

Episode Date: March 10, 2023

Colin Quinn is in studio and joins the guys in ripping Joe DeRosa for no good reason. ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Okerson. And Robert Kelly. This band sucks.
Starting point is 00:00:29 You know, a band's not great. If they're big claim to fame is Jason Priestly really likes them. I'm not a two and a half. Isn't he? Did he die? Oh, it's there. It's very dark. Sorry. Luke Perry's dead. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:00:39 You know, some of the critique of our first show, this is Tuesday. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. That's closure? Thank you so much. It's super good. But no, no, it was just the word old was thrown around a lot and the show I will say the show is aged a few years in maturity. Before the show, well, Bobby, you know, doesn't smoke pot. And we found ourselves in here touching each other's pant material. Yeah. Which is a pretty older gentleman thing to do.
Starting point is 00:01:07 But we did save it with you touching my bum. I asked you to touch my bum. Well, I did. And I know you really wanted me to touch your ass. And what I noticed with these pants and yesterday's pants and the crispness of that hoodie is when you have an extreme weight loss like you have 100% of your clothes are new. I have five bags.
Starting point is 00:01:28 You don't have a vintage anything. No, that's all gone. I had to throw it all my clothes. And I have, I should have a fat day like come to New York and just sit on a corner and have anybody whose job he come down. I have brand new leather jackets. I have brand new shirts. I have all the stuff that I'd never wore.
Starting point is 00:01:44 When you got all the new stuff, that don't sit outside with their legs crossed, listen to the walking on sunshine, you keep coming out and trying on new shirts. It's the Bonfire Faction Talk Series X at 103 Big J-Occarcin, Robert Kelly. Hello. We have a fun fun guest today to end.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Close out our first week, it's a goodie everybody. You know I'm in love with him, his show Small Talk is happening right now everybody. Make some noise. Make some noise. We're in a studio. It didn't make any sense. We got bringing you the stage. You make some noise. Everybody hype it up. It're supposed to time it with the things, Lou. What happened? You slip? I got to do it. Quang, Quang, Quang.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Lou looks, Quang, Quang, Quang. Lou looks like every Sicilian from Carroll Street when I was a kid, like the real old school Italian guys. No muscle, but they would kill anybody. He's got a poll walks name, but he's not a polish at all. Me and Lou were talking about you before the show. Oh. Yeah. Good stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I mean, it's good for Quinn. I don't know if it's good for everybody else. Oh. Right? I mean, your girl thinks Colin is the best, right? She's in love with you, Colin. Yeah, but the problem is that everybody's She's in love with you Colin. Yeah, but the problem is is that everybody's girl is in love with my wife, Collins, the favorite. Every, every girl I own Colin, Quinn, Colin Quinn. Oh, Christine doesn't care for him. She says a little heady. Yeah, Christine's
Starting point is 00:03:20 more, she likes those bad boy tops. She probably more until like Bob and those kind of guys. Yeah, she doesn't like readers. I'm surreal I'm a reader. Yeah, he's a reader I'm not like I'm the kind of guy that you like you when you played sublime up front I was like that's a little route is gonna draw a wild crowd. Yeah, it was bear naked ladies, but it was sublime You know that era of Christine Love sublime. She loves sublime. That's fake reggae. Shins, I understand.
Starting point is 00:03:46 She's more of a remote guy. She looks like a remote dude. Oh, no, well, Christine's from her most of beach. So she thinks that. Why did I just say, full of shit? She thinks that shitty white guys who are getting the beginning stages of dreadlock rock is good. Harge, Harge, Junays go fantasy was the guy from social distortion?
Starting point is 00:04:06 Oh, without a doubt. Did you just see them not long ago? No, I actually haven't seen who was that where you said they crowdsurfed a guy in a wheelchair and removed band religion and religion Yeah, they're crowdsurfing a guy in a wheelchair and I was like, okay, that's pretty cool. Yeah Did you never get into the punk stuff in New York at all? That wasn't punk stuff first All right, that's the early 90's beach punk. Yeah, exactly beach punk, but I was well I mean I was I tried to stumble into a couple of those Early CBGB places and stuff like that punk girl. I was on East 10th Between a and B. Do you ever see the Ramon?
Starting point is 00:04:39 Sorry 19. I couldn't get into that. I mean to get in, but I would be in, I'd see the worst bands, I'd like the shit club on Evan and Bay and Third Street. Well, like Shaanana. No, no. My first concert ever. Was that your first concert? My mom wanted the fuck Chico.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Who doesn't? Yeah, you're not wrong about that. He was the handsome one. Me, I was Bowser, could have been my stepfather in a heartbeat. I love Bowser, Wow wow wow. Yeah Good by step, too, by the way. No, he didn't no you're you're remembering that as a child. Yeah, Bowser was built like a junkie Yeah, he was he was he was weird looking there, but he just seemed They told you he was the cool one because he had the bomb of the bomb by anybody
Starting point is 00:05:22 the bomb in the bomb bar in the background. Right. You need a bomb in the bomb bar. You need a bomb in the bomb bar. But yeah, my mom took me to like the Valley Forge Art Center to go see Shana Knogs. I like the TV show. Yeah. I didn't even know they were like, like a long stay.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I thought they were just the TV show parents. They played it at Woodstock. They did? Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. And didn't they make something that's always Howard Stern talks about? Like they made the movie
Starting point is 00:05:45 Shana na made the woodstock movie, but some of the bands that didn't sign I think mountain stuff like some bands I'm not gonna be in the movie. Yeah, yeah, and so Shana now makes the cut Yep What are we saying about Shana now? Oh, we weren't you guys were asking me about the punk scene in the early 70s Then you really started to sidetrack it to Horset about shine on that welcome to the bonfire did Well, jago's walking the bonfire crack crackled Get it out quick. Oh my god
Starting point is 00:06:18 My new favorite thank you look. Oh, he's good for me treats. Yeah, I love treats The kills me to do that. Jacob doesn't even like holding chocolate. He doesn't? No. He only likes to hold Maud. Maud apatow, next door, and Jacob. Oh, good day.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Good day to tuck in your shirt, dude. What if she sees you? Yes. How old is she? How many shirts do you have? She has a probably a two-short. No. Seventeen? Probably, yeah probably yeah Jacob well. It's legal here Great news putting us on me. What did I just said she was here? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:06:53 Why did you tell us other than your filthy mind has to go places? Yeah, I didn't realize Jacob used a big fan of her acting Say for you. Yeah, that's not why you watch it. You watch it for teen tits Well, do you watch you for your cone? I have seen episodes and they did have teen tits. Yeah, it's dark You watch it. I do not watch I don't watch that much TV. Why is that show take you back to your old days? What is it? Fucking is it about is that what is about drugin and a lot of girls and drugin and fucking I was just telling a little outside Max's 10 almost 10 and on my 10th birthday was when I had a half a pint to see him seven for the
Starting point is 00:07:35 first time. Oh my god. 10 years old. I got shit faced with a guy named Dickey who was 36. Oh. And then he dropped me off. Who was your dad? Why are you forward? I remember I was too drunk. I was too drunk to go in. So I crawled under the front porch and I just slept in dirt for two hours.
Starting point is 00:07:53 And then I went in and I had to shit and puke. So I puke in the sink and then shit. And then tried to take the puke out of the sink and put it in the toilet. And that's when my mom walked in and punched me in the face into the hamper. That literally sounds like an episode of you for you. It really does.
Starting point is 00:08:11 I gotta watch the show. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's gonna really take you back. You see when it goes in the shower, the guy's taking a shit. Were you, did you grow up in a bad neighborhood or were you just a shitty kid? Boston was white slums.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Not everywhere. Well, I mean, Medford was, yeah, a lot of it, like, Charlestown and Chelsea and Medford and some of it, it was all white slums. You know, it was just all Italian and Irish, just shit people. Were they outside the window running the clothes lines from building to building?
Starting point is 00:08:40 No, we weren't savages like Brooklyn. We had houses, but. He's Boston, you stuff clothes lines, and I was there. He's Boston was bad, white slums houses, but he's Boston. You set up clothes lunch and I was there He's Boston was bad white slums. Yeah, he's Boston was close to get like Joey and Eddie Yeah, who actually he always loves tell that story when he walked calling off stage Oh, he literally came on and I in a cashmere coat and said folks I'm from Easty just to come back to 500 people that next was gonna attack were they were gonna beat my balls off?
Starting point is 00:09:05 I mean back them all. 500 people in the next was gonna attack. Were they gonna beat my balls off? I mean, they were gonna fuck me up good. Because I didn't really understand at that time, like when you were wearing those eyes on shirts, like I had never been to Boston before. So there's all these blonde kids with eyes on shirts with like blonde eyebrows and red hair, and they weren't like, you know, like boating shoes and deck and like white pants
Starting point is 00:09:25 They look like the Kennedys to make you're right. They were not the Kennedys. No They were the tough kids and yes Boxes are not shirts. Some of all East Boston. Yes, they were Yeah, and then I said noticing this little tattoo peaking on for one is vice-epip his eyes on little tattoo peaking on for his vice-app of his eyes on shirt. That's unusual. Oh, excuse me. That guy's eyes dead in the front row. His left eye is gray. Oh, yeah. Why were they dressed so nautical? I don't know. That was the look in the 80s. You probably dressed like that too. These two are the pop collars. We used to iron our collars. The eyes are called you would iron it,
Starting point is 00:09:59 iron it boy. And then you'd you'd fold the tip down on the edge and then you'd take your pant legs and You'd pin them they call him pin in them pegging. Oh, no pegging is something else. No pegging has become something else Oh, I did that but it's called pegging back that we called the pendant dude. Hey, what is this? Jim and Sam come on no Why does jager pay chocolate holding it? Why does Jacob hate chocolate holding it? He just doesn't like that. You know, I choke it? He hates calories and sugar. Oh, you're a calorie counter?
Starting point is 00:10:32 He's in such fantastic shape, but he works in every single day. Didn't he hate when people eat on the show too? Everybody eats that. He is a beautiful wasteland. He does, yeah, there's no hangover there or nothing. Flat. I think he even has the dick V. I think so. You do, right? I do. You have the dick V? Yeah. No. That's great. What is a dick V? It's the ab that shows you where to get the dick. Oh wow. It's
Starting point is 00:10:59 like a little arrow. Right there. Like so. So, the angel always to have backhand. Yeah. You fall the top ab and then you go down the little brick road and then there's an arrow pointing to his cock. That's probably nice and trimmed, right? I keep it nice and clean. I used to actually use the razor blade but now there's that one, the edger, I use an edger. Okay. And it doesn't hurt. He's making me edge right now. Do you put like a comb through it and just take off the top? Just a top. No, I'm not like, yeah, it's weird to look. But you like clawing your dick here
Starting point is 00:11:31 and then like zip across the top so it's safe. Or do you use an attachment? Are we talking about above the dick or on the dick? Good question. I would assume you don't have to, do you have to shave down your dick? I think there's just a few trees. The next one.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Me too. A few trees. The next one. Me too, Jacob. I have a few trees on my actual dick shaft. I don't like it. I take care of them. But it is weird through there.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Is this one of your sponsors? Yeah. No, no. I was a were sponsor. I think on Legion of Skanks and they sent me when I've never used it yet. I used it It's really good. I don't have to trim down above my weener. It's I just
Starting point is 00:12:11 Big Razor the bag That's dangerous work. You'd pick you a fuck what? Bick you mean just the plastic pick? Yeah wow That's even more than out of a bag of Bicks That's not that's like when you're 14 do shit like that I got my dick do shit live on the I get a live on the edge I show you I stretch I stretch it out and then you just kind of paint the walls of it It's too early to show for this conversation. Okay. I mean I'm just here love the producer come on
Starting point is 00:12:44 Yo switch gears. I could never shit. I don't shave'm just here. Love the producer. Come on. Yo, switch gears. I could never shave. I don't shave my balls with a razor anymore. I did it one time. I did my butt hole and my balls. And then I put my under one. It looked like somebody was murdered. And I'm bleeding.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Yeah, I never did it again. And I used the man's scape thing and it works fantastically. Sometimes you get a little nick. And then I take a, what's called a Neutrogena pad. And just rub it over that, it heals up real quick. Who tell you all those little tricks? It's just a father left young. So you got to figure it out on your own.
Starting point is 00:13:18 You should take an egg, one of those egg holders, in any mean, with wax in there. Just wait until it's up. Put on the balls. Whop! I would, I wax my eyebrows, would never ever do my balls. You have great eyebrows. Jay, you have fantastic eyebrows.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Thank you. If I don't take care of them though, it's gonna be a year. You look like one of the girls you can for you with those eyebrows. Shut up. You don't say that if you don't mean it. I mean, my eyebrows are amazing too,
Starting point is 00:13:44 but all natural. They are nice. I mean, yeah eyebrows are amazing too, but I'll natural. They are nice. I mean, yeah, they're fantastic. But I leave one rogue. I have a lucky eyebrow that I leave out right here. Yeah, but Chrysher has an eyelash that like grows out like one of those underwater fish with the light. It's his lucky eyelash.
Starting point is 00:14:00 I mean, just says he leaves it. Yeah, it'd be funny. It's crazy. We should plug it and see if his career tumbles They just fight kitty porn on his fucking computer Samson Shame oh shit, I did the Berk Rysher roast which is coming out really soon. Oh, how's that? It was fun fun night crazy night Lock going on. Yeah, lock going on there. Yeah, how was that? It was fun, fun night, crazy night, lock going on.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Yeah. Lock going on there, yeah. But it was fun. But I'm curious what they're gonna do because Bert didn't do a reply. He got too drunk, he couldn't do like his retort to the whole thing. So maybe that's gonna be the play on it.
Starting point is 00:14:41 It's like, I was so, but you have classic bird, you got so drunk that he couldn't do the replay. It was weird. That'd be fantastic if they ended it without him showing up. That'd be a great way. He showed up. He just just rolled credits. He passed his out. Yeah. He passed out and everybody all the roasters walk by and just spit on it. You piece of shit. It's just too. Him and him and a share with a shirt on. Well, I put, I'm impressed with the size of his belly. I do say this on the roast. His, he's wearing a large belt buckle, which is a fat mistake. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:15 And the problem with those things is you don't even know, you don't know when you're sitting that it hurts. You don't even know yet. It's when you take it and that, that yeah, it's obviously on the sympathy and the metal removes and the blood and life starts coming back to it. It like sting hurts for 30 minutes
Starting point is 00:15:34 in it itches for some reason. Oh, it's worth it. I told you, I had a bell buckle with crystals in it. It said rock, the sharp AC DC letters. That is. And I almost killed myself. I letters. And I almost killed myself. I almost fucking, I almost killed myself. You would have bled, you would have bled,
Starting point is 00:15:51 but I fl- Go out of here. But a flight to LA, you would have bled out. Dude, it was, I still have it in my dry head to stop wearing. I almost died. I had like a little almost blood coming out of the tip of the R. Can I be honest with you, know what I I have now you know what I use now even though I lost weight I still am afraid of bell buckles the boy scout belt. I have a I have a belt bro
Starting point is 00:16:13 What is that you know I'm a gadget guy, right? Okay, I have the belt bro The belt bro are you fat are you afraid of belt buckles? Have you almost died on a plane? Well, you get the belt bro. It goes on the side. Oh It flips out like I heard about this dude heard about it. I'm wearing it. It's right here, baby Like it at it's the belt bro. It goes on the side, but you are sack you have to get two of them You do need two of them, but I only use one of them. Because, uh, But that's gonna pull like, it's like weirdly off to the side than your best.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Well, I lost the other one. That's the problem with the belt, the belt bro. Is that you have to keep two things? You have to keep two things, but look at that, right there, bang, bang. No belt buckle, my pants are up baby. The belt bro, buy, has bro, or whoever it is. Man, you're,
Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah. That's a, it's a married man's product for sure. 100% my wife has a disgusted face on when I asked her to help me. You're my belt, bro. Hey, can you Velcro my belt, bro, before I leave the house, I gotta go do the bonfire for the second day. I'm... It's like under the belly or over the belly.
Starting point is 00:17:18 I was doing under the belly. I'm gonna wear something loose up top. That's a fact I decision. That's a big decision. Because if you're over the belly, when you get fat, you're a different person. The fat distributes better. When you, if you're under the belly fat,
Starting point is 00:17:33 you, you're the bottom half of your body stays skinnier than the top half. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, look, a little, I worry about that. That's why I ask Christine often, do I look like a meatball on toothpicks today? That's my concern.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I go under the belly because if I go, I think I saw where in pants over the belly, I'm gonna go public defender or something. Just like, I gotta do the shit. I go under the belly for sure. Yeah, under the belly? Absolutely. What was the fat as you've been?
Starting point is 00:17:58 A fat as I've been is 248. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. Well, for calling, that's good, dude. You can meet. No, yeah 248's big for me. No, I'm saying that. I think that's I don't think I've ever seen you Oh, that size. Yeah, yeah for 20 plus years. What's the TV show you're on the Larry Sanders show? Right. That wasn't my fattest. That was a big one. No, there's a picture of me and Howard Stern. You want to see a fat bastard? There's a picture of me and Howard Stern. You wanna see a fat bastard?
Starting point is 00:18:23 They have this picture of me and a sweatsuit on Howard Stern and believe me, all my fans show it all the time just to remind me. And if you see me, you'll think I'm wearing a fat suit like Austin Powers, the big fat guy. You'll think that's what it is. Really? Yeah, it was, it's me and a sweatsuit.
Starting point is 00:18:41 No, none of those. Fatta, fatta, fatta, fatta, fatta, fatta. Fatta. That's how many fats you have? It's sitting all about. Well, I'm just kidding. Christine type in fatter. Do you know how I was kidding? Oh, he did it. Is that not a little way on the right?
Starting point is 00:18:59 No. She's a little great in those three on the corner. The three on the corner, you look fantastic. The one on the far right Yeah, that was going up there. I know the one the second from the right. I thought was Kevin Brennan Come on. All right, keep going It's always there when I don't need it. There he's right there. That's got to be it the roast nope That's a fat one though. That's pretty good, but that's not it. I'm much better in this other picture
Starting point is 00:19:23 Oh, it's over to the left sitting down. It's over there. That's not it. I'm much better in this other picture. Oh, it's over to the left. I'm sitting down. It's over there. That's not it. That's not it. No, fatter than that. Yep, much fatter. Sorry. Did that come out?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Did I see that? Much fatter. Wow. Dude, that's big. Right there. That's big. Yeah, but that's not the biggest. Wow.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Look at that one on the right. I'm big and that one too. It looks like a Arty Lang. I'm fat there, but this is fatter than all all those. I don't know if that's your face in this one Yeah, no, this is it's you don't guys have it but something that's the beauty of The fans they always managed to find that picture They've been featured about it. Oh my god. I've seen it a thousand times. Yeah, every time I use the word eat or wait or death.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Any word that you can make a pun, they go, is that you, and then you like, okay. I know. I have one at me at Hall H, at Comic Con, when I was on Sex Drugs from Hacker Row, and the guy took it from underneath. Yeah. And it's the worst.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Every time I see it, I almost cry. You had a Comic Con booth call H. Hall H is where they do like fucking Marvel movies nerd alert and as I say Marvel movies and the Dennis Leary vehicle sex drugs and rock and roll yes sir as a weird thing to be in Comic Con number one show the first season Number seven the second and then canceled the third that's a pretty heavy fall off. What do you think happened there? Well, the world changed, Jay. You know, people would just... Everybody was home watching television.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Yeah. I watched Breaking Bad for the first time during quarantine. You did? Yeah. Great show. Then I took on the better call Saul. Was Joe DeRosa was on. I know.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Yeah, he's never seen an episode. Joe asked really? No, we had him in here guest hosting one time. And Jacob goes out of be cool because when we come back from commercial break, like play the better call Saul theme. And we just played it. And I think Joe, if like a minute and a half of the song playing, he was dittling around or something, he just goes, this is cool.
Starting point is 00:21:23 What is this? It's the theme to the show you're on. You had no idea. I mean, that's why you have to love Joe. Oh yeah. The more I hate him. Yeah, I hate him. You can pick one.
Starting point is 00:21:35 You can do both simultaneously. Joe, that's the beauty of Joe. I think Joe. Joey Rose is now featuring a chicken parm sandwich. It is. Yeah, finally. Yeah, he's bringing in the hot stuff now. Keep looking, he doesn't take a shot at a cheese steak
Starting point is 00:21:45 It's dumb. He's from Philly. He doesn't have a cheese steak. Oh God, he's worried if you work because he might be worried it's gonna be shitty. No, it's because Joe thinks in his mind like I'm the guy that doesn't do that I'm up. Joe. You know what? You're not wrong about that. Yeah, stop. Stop being the genius grapholo of sandwiches You're not wrong about that. Stop in the genuine grapholo of sandwiches No, man, that's too common man. Yeah, just really unique. It's infuriating. I had a dream I had a dream. I just remembered a couple of Joe memorabilia him boxing in the old days Nobody had like a little tell me I might as well picture stuff it's like a long a big long counter
Starting point is 00:22:35 Those old bar those are Irish bars and I'm behind the counter and Joe's giving somebody attitude and I'm telling somebody this fucking guy Open for me. What the fuck are you talking to me like? And the Mexican guy with me is like, yeah, yeah, you're right. That was a good. That was a whole dream. I think Joe bought and owns a bar. First of all, his dream was open to sandwich shop,
Starting point is 00:22:55 very quickly became a bar. Oh, really? And then, but I know his whole thing was he just wants to, he wants to put his forearm on a bar and slap a tail over his shoulder and go, what can I get you, bud? He's so bad, wants to do that? I know, he goes, hey, what can I get you?
Starting point is 00:23:12 Here's the thing, that's not the tal will slide off the shoulder. I've never seen him behind the bar. I've never seen him making a sandwich. I've only seen him talking to somebody who's more important than me at the front and he ignores me. I walk, I mean, literally me and Keith went there, you know, it takes Keith, it takes a long time to get the car and get him in the car. You get to grab his legs and pick him up, push him in. Yeah. And then you get out of the car, you get there and it takes a couple couple minutes to walk and then we walked there and we walk in and he would hey
Starting point is 00:23:47 What's up fellas and he went back to his conversation with some random dude? I'm like I just want a double stroke friend over and you know, hey guys. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming Yeah, it was a journey. Yeah, yeah, and it's not done. I got to take him back to the seller My friend is cousin he hadn't seen him but they were both in the army and they were in Germany but they were separate and he just shut up in Germany six months later and he's always cousin and he goes, hey Mike and his cousin sees him and goes, hey Leo and just keeps walking by. I was like, they just ran into each other.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I bet the balls on Joe to never send up some sandwiches. You know what I mean? He wants the plugs. He wants the sandwiches. No, he brought sandwiches. He was being paid to be here that day also. Don't suck his dick all the time, Chris. But listen, listen, listen, listen, you love Joe. You love Joe. You love Joe. You love Joe more than Colin. Oh, you don't like me. I forgot about look. She doesn't care for your work. That's even worse
Starting point is 00:24:47 Hate me physically but like my work But Joe does not fall into the category of those bed boys from Fullerton and South of California. I'll tell you what thank God. He doesn't because Christine when she was back as a booze bag Hung with Joe plenty and it's a It's a living miracle that Joe has not Fuck Christine and it's a living miracle that Joe has not fucked Christine. Or it's a living miracle that you believe them. No, I'm trying to tell you. Ah!
Starting point is 00:25:13 Ah! Ah! Ah! Christine, why are you over left? I never even read a better idea that Joe. Joe, fuck Christine! Ah man, I've seen Christine work, and I've seen Joe work.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Joe, fuck Christine. Ah! That's why there's a sandwich fuck Christine. Oh man, I've seen Christine work, and I've seen Joe work. Joe fuck Christine. Ha ha ha. That's why there's a sandwich named Christine on the end. The hidden menu. You walk out, give me one of the... Chips. Give me a grilled chicken squirter. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Fuck. Definitely fucked. Good right. This has been a sham all these years. What would you do? Is that they've been asked if she fucked Joe? She offered that information. You know, it's a crazy miracle.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I never, I fucked Joe because we were both fools. I would have said the same thing, wouldn't you? Yes, that's why I know she's lying and definitely had sex with Joe, because that's what I would have said. Can you believe we didn't? We're in, right? And as you judge around the joke he bought it. Yeah, he did He's like no way. Oh good. I'm with back to New York then. She's like, I
Starting point is 00:26:13 Quite a money was really stoned Damn, Christine you mother fuck. How was it was it good? other fuck how was it was it good Good answer I mean to pry wasn't good then no, it wasn't good. No, it wasn't good. It could be good Joe was busy boring hold his menu ideas. Yeah Christine You know actually so boy started this will sing My joke did go over a sandwich recipes with me My joke did go over a sandwich recipes with me You like broccoli Rob
Starting point is 00:26:53 Yo, the audacity he calls me we talk like you know a couple of times a year really not that often and he calls me up But do about you and I go he was hey, I'm having a big opening now I was like that's nice invited me to the opening goes, you know I'm doing celebrity bartenders if you'd like to do you want me to work it behind this stick for a couple hours You son of a bitch. Yeah, you put try to put me to work Really is this is this an edgy Mike Biblia Come on if you want to come in and throw in a shift or something take over to about like you know think about noon to six Yeah, I feel bad. He didn't even ask me to We're still about like, you know, think about noon to six. Yeah, I feel bad.
Starting point is 00:27:23 He didn't even ask me to, uh, just a celebrity bartender. I could have. He didn't even ask me to come. Have you been there yet? I went the night with Keith. I went down with him and we left. Right, right. Keith got a sandwich and left and it took like 38 minutes
Starting point is 00:27:37 to get a, uh, an uncooked, there's like, you know, there's like, you know, the cold. And Joe didn't even pretend to be busy working. He was just yapping. He was a no It was packed, but he was talking to some guy that he didn't even introduce us like he didn't even go Hey, but I was a great friend of mine. This is Keith who brought me to New York This is Bobby you kind of took me out of my wing and he's a good friend of mine. Hey, this is so and so
Starting point is 00:27:57 He just went hey, what's up guys? Thanks for coming anyways. Yeah, that album was nuts like you didn't even know your names Hey, look at these guys. Hey Joe lost his he lost his fire He lost his fire in that sandwich shop. I'm telling you when he had the pop-up at the stand you go there Yeah, and Jodi it was everything you wanted. He had his V-neck white t-shirt with armpits armpits sweat because he's covered in flour He's throwing the bread's up and he's bringing it over. And now you're right. He meets and greets in the front while a bunch of Mexicans do his dirty work. Yeah. Back at the stand he'd rock up. Hey, try this. Just let me know how you think of this. Give a little bit guys a little sample of some new things we're trying in the back. I heard
Starting point is 00:28:36 the bread is amazing though. It's good. Yeah, no, everything's great there. His sandwiches, I mean, listen, unbelievable. I mean, unbelievable. I had him after I had the surgery, and I almost dumped. I just, that's what they call it when you eat too much and you get the gastric sleeve dumping. And I just, he put me right back on track. I ate one bite too many. Even a veggie sandwich he had was unfuckin' believable.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Really good. Sandwich is great. Bread is amazing. I throw a little relish in the tuna, but it's a preference. It's just, yeah, it's a choice. It's a preference. You don't have any choice. Little oil on the, remember my tuna?
Starting point is 00:29:11 Oh man. I made. Bobby, yeah. None of us knew Bobby had a surgery yet. It was like I was gay. So Bobby was just, we thought Bobby was just trying to eat better and doing a great job at it. We didn't know that it, he physically couldn't get more food inside of his body.
Starting point is 00:29:26 I mean, that's one way of putting it, Jay. I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah. But I have never thought Bobby would get a scoop of tuna on the side with his brunch. That's all I got every day. Scoop of tuna in an egg. Yeah. Was it like that? Is it like an egg, right?
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. And like some greens maybe we're a fruit But uh probably get the tuna you go kick a little olive oil on the side Hmm and a little extra mayo Little olive oil and mayo salt and pepper change the game it was I would never not put olive oil on my tune ever again It's probably gonna kill me olive oil should be on everything. Yeah Olive oil all gone like in the greatest inventions in Yeah. The greatest thing ever invented olive oil. Olive oil and garlic and the greatest inventions in history.
Starting point is 00:30:07 And it's good for you. Olive oil is not bad for you. No, it's good. It's actually good. I mean, avocado is good too, but olive oil is good for you. It greases up the, uh, the old pipes. I'm like avocado. I'll say that loud. Jochen have, uh, Jochen have had giant bottles of olive oil in the front of his store, like a design. You know, he did have it first, but he got rid of them. What? He had the pizza hut cups for soda, which was a nice touch.
Starting point is 00:30:32 The best cup for soda. Do you remember the red plastic cups? No. You never went to pizza? Like 7-Eleven cups. What did you never win? Like 7-Eleven cups? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:30:42 You don't remember when you go to the first two pieces? Oh, yeah. You know those cups, they ruin the taste of soda. You're crazy. They keep them super carbonated. Thanks. No, I deserve you. Contrarian. That's an amazing cup. And I love those cups, and I steal those cups.
Starting point is 00:30:56 When I go somewhere, I'll steal that cup. Crushed ice. And Joe got rid of those. Crushed ice. All right, you don't think he'll have to have it over it. I'm sorry. I love crushed ice, but Joe got rid of them You got rid of them. I don't know what the problem was because you had a wash them Yeah, I they seem hard to wash and yeah, you can only put soda in them
Starting point is 00:31:15 So it's I don't know I'll say just about Joe Joe's one of those guys that then there's a lot of people like that It's so much fun to talk about the idea of Joe, but then when you're with him, you're like, I'm gonna get a drink. Yeah. Like, this conversation makes us all go, yeah, we got to hang with Joe. Yeah. And we're like, oh, Joe.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't realize how lost he gets when he drinks at all. It is head because I counted him in as a plan for the you. I know he doesn't like the UFC. And when I saw him at the stand, he was hammered. And I was like, I'm gonna have just a few people over for the UFC this weekend.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Just a bottom. If you wanna, no, no, I go, if you wanna, I know you don't like it, but it's a big fight. It's like a pretty like, you know, like major fight. If you wanna come watch, it'll be fun. And order food or everything goes totally. I got nothing going on Saturday. I'll I'm like yeah we're gonna start eight o'clock goes eight o'clock and then on like Friday or something I called him or I saw him and I was like are you still good for tomorrow? Tomorrow's why?
Starting point is 00:32:18 He had a date planned with a girl like he had a right and it was like he had a full of their life plans. It was not, and I was like, well, you said you're gonna come over for the fight, so he goes, why would I come for the UFC? I fucking hate it. Yeah. Can I, can I be honest with you?
Starting point is 00:32:33 I think there's actually two Joe DeRose's. I think he has a twin brother. Cause I've hung out with nice Joe during the day, walk around, hopes and dreams, and then I've met that other Joe. What the fuck are you talking about? I think there's an evil Joe and a good Joe. It's around, hopes and dreams, and then I've met that other Joe. What the fuck you talking about? I think there's an evil Joe and a good Joe. It's like, what are those brothers in England?
Starting point is 00:32:50 Oh, the craze. The craze, yeah. Joe's like the Kray brothers, the derosis. Yeah, that tattoo mess up. The two derosis. Yeah, that tattoo mess up. Yeah, that's a different brother, right? Yeah, that's a different brother.
Starting point is 00:33:03 I think I'm talking about Joe's tattoo mess up. Hey, dude, Can I tell you something about Christ. It makes me really happy that you I thought I was the only person that loves Crushed ice what that was all the success in my life out of all the things I've ever got when I got a fridge with crushed ice I was like I made it that was like one of my goals in life to be able to just have crushed ice when I was a mean stepfather's name. Billy Billy. Yeah. Yeah, fuck him. Fuck you, Billy. It is. I got my crushed ice. Hey, derosers should throw it suits to his Joey Rose's place. Oh, and telling old comedy stories. Yeah. The guarantee his staff is not impressed by Joe's comedy career. It's like I knew him. Me Me and Bill Mario used to hang out and they're like, what? People are dumb as you know what time Bill tells me he tells me he says.
Starting point is 00:33:56 That was the funniest one we uh, I said I brought to Rosa to meet uh, Bill and Bobby on the same. They had me, I was notorious for this. And in hindsight, I can see how annoying it must have been the people. Even with a tell, and a tell was great about it when I was opening for him all the time. He'd be like, hey, you went open for me so and so and I go, yeah, I'll bring a guy to host.
Starting point is 00:34:20 You want me to bring my buddy to host so he can hang out with me when you hibernate all day. And he'd be like, sure. And this was a gig I was opening for Bobby and Bill. I think they asked me to do it with him. And then I was like, Hey, I could bring this. My roommate, Joe is a great dude. He moved up here in with me. And I brought him to the gig. And that's when we went to the strip Yeah, and then Bobby whacked off on a towel and put it on our door knob in While laughing us because we couldn't afford laptops to masturbate in a room by ourselves He bought a porno DVD DVD DVD right at a strip club that I think was someone's house
Starting point is 00:35:02 They let people get naked in yeah, I think it was a subway sub shop during the day. It was. And then at night it just turned over to a strip club. It had just regular house windows like in the front. Oh. It was like a storefront in the front. Like it had like, it was a little town. It was Troy.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Troy. Oh, Troy. Oh, Troy. New York. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The place was, I remember it was called Cloud 9. I remember it called cloud nine I remember was a neon on the outside and she leaves someone's house with a neon sign on it Is this it we went there and they were like I think it was like
Starting point is 00:35:32 At midnight or whatever it was one in the morning. There was some time it hit and it was like all the rules are all I think the girls got fully naked. I think they weren't supposed to do that It was the guy the Bronx tale because I walked up. I go hey, can I smoke in here? It's right when they passed the law no smoking in New York I went hey can I smoke in here and he walked over to the door locked it goes you can now and then everybody just pulled out then there was a the girl just pulled out a bag of dildos yeah and they went it's hilarious it was not and then and then we had to leave because de rosa yeah very unceremoniously because de Rosa got it. It was like three for one lap dances
Starting point is 00:36:08 and de Rosa paid the money, but the girl didn't like, I don't know what his complaint was, but he, she did two and a half. He complained. Whatever it was, he complained to the manager
Starting point is 00:36:18 but the manager kept like getting louder, but not threatening Joe, embarrassing him by saying that he's complaining about a lap. Yeah, he kept going, I don't know what you want, sir. She's not just going to grind all over your lap. And Joe kept going, hey, I don't want, I'd stop saying grind. Stop saying that. He got really mad.
Starting point is 00:36:37 And then we were just kind of like, I don't even think we were asked to leave. We were just like, we're going to get out of here. He was haggling, a half a dance. But it's even better because he wasn't even supposed to be there. He's just his roommate now. Now he's a seemingly see. I walked over. I'm happy as I get, I'm smoking inside watching girls get naked.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I have my, my little token. I got a token for, I didn't want my, I don't like lap dances. They fucking bore me and I feel uncomfortable when a girl's dancing. And I don't like dance. I think dance is stupid. And I had my token. So I walked up to jargo have my token. He goes, that's not the point, dude. That's not the point. I might. Yeah, he really want. He wanted this guy to understand it was just like it was exactly like a strip club owner that was just doing like the. And you know what you want. Yeah. Joe's like, no, this isn't right.
Starting point is 00:37:22 This is about that's probably the day he decided I'm gonna open my own sandwich shop bar someday The customer is always The way I was treated that laundry room slash sand pain room We have Joe's origin story for Joey Rosalind We have Joe's origin story for Joey Rose. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer.
Starting point is 00:38:02 That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Go on a little, a little, a little. I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink.

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