The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Just Keeping' It Simple (feat. Justin Silver & Josh Adam Meyers)

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Fresh off their first recording of The Himbos Podcast, Josh Adam Meyers and Justin Silver join The Bonfire as the gang discovers a mayoral candidate with a catchy campaign song!Stream "The Bonfire wit...h Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@IAmJustinSilver www.IAmJustinSilver.com@JoshAdamMeyers www.JoshAdamMeyers.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder Man, we're getting Lucy Kusin here. I'm just kissing and touching Did I just butt-pluck my Molly Bell? Your boob stories Suppositories Take it take it John baby really swallowed that right up first and foremost it's bonfire series X infection talk 103 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:00:26 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:00:34 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do It's probably something Justin works out to and just goes nah yeah, I do I didn't realize what it was Just wait you definitely Yeah, it's just in turns and on it's just it's just the rhythm of the night. I love that song Corona such a good one. I love that That's a great laugh. You just did a pretzel. See what?
Starting point is 00:01:08 You went, Prada. I love it. Let me tell you something. Me and Jay have listened to that alone together on a car drive at night. This is the rhythm of the nine. Dude, we ever told nine. Do we ever tell a story about when we did the one nighter in Western mass after this? Yes. And you and I coming back and like just fucking, yeah, it's one of my favorite stories.
Starting point is 00:01:26 A bartender or something. Yeah, Justin and I were both horned up because he was talking to a girl and I was talking to the bartender and then we're just silent on the ride and we're listening to something. No, we're listening to the angel of the angel. And those how does it feel? We both listen to it.
Starting point is 00:01:38 They were like, you know, are we both like super horny? I look over at Dan and I'm like, I'm just like, it got quiet and we started by talking about driving Driving back to corny boys in a car You hard also dance like grab in the steam world making like I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Dude, he's ripping the steering wheel. Making like...
Starting point is 00:02:12 I'm like just grinding in the seat and then I look over at him and we just start cracking up because you were like fanatizing looking out into the open road. You were both fucking irrespective failures of grabbing women's head. Absolutely. Oh man, if I was in room right now, I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:02:27 dude. I'm like, dude. I'm like, dude. I'm like, dude, I'm like, dude. Yeah, dude. It was 100% what happened. We were about to sit in the, just like, Justin's just putting his ass in the seatbar.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Yes, yes. Dude, I have a, I always, because I still have a video on my phone from when we like did a video of us to promote it on Instagram And it was like back when I had glasses. This is like five or six years ago Dude, and then I forgot I just remember that how and we were just driving and it was quiet and then you just read both right We look over at each other and we're both grinding the Long before you realize what you're doing. It was like, I was even there. I was a million miles away.
Starting point is 00:03:06 You're going. I'll tell you where I was. I'll tell you where I was. I had my forearm wrapped around the lower back of the lady behind the bar and silk sheets. Let me tell you, let me tell you. By the time we looked at you, you're touching chins. Did you both go in?
Starting point is 00:03:19 Then it's just a standard shot of the hand with my hand. I heard the hand coming up. Oh no, it's just and then it's just a standard shot of the hand with my hand It's the it's the squeeze and then the Let go It wasn't until the part of the song we go I gotta know behavior that we even looked at each other. That's nine minutes 11 minutes long. It's the length of a full blow job. It's like it's like between there's a different version you guys Hey guys, we didn't get any pussy in my but hey You want to like it work on our boners?
Starting point is 00:03:50 Because we were just like driving listening I just put my iTunes on random and it just came on and it was like Overnight drive so like a three hour drive from Western, Mass New York on a Sunday night It was a job of a good. It was just that quiet for too long and Justin was like cars in the road And I was driving it was just that quiet for too long and Justin was like no cars in the road and Justin or you weren't there the other one might have just whacked off in the car That's dangerous because I was gonna get 75 have you done that? No, I walked off while driving Joel my guitar. It does it all the time All the time dick doesn't he have a big dick or that's a drama probably here comes here comes
Starting point is 00:04:26 Anyway probably here comes here comes anyway what are you thinking about? so hilarious that you just have de angelo on your eyes that album rules did you just pop? a lot of food in album food in a baby who is one of the five hundred greatest outside of it it's a great album
Starting point is 00:04:42 you mean the man that assaulted my friend Arie Schaffer yeah you chose the man that assaulted my friend Ari Shafir. Yeah, yeah, I'm so great. I Think I should drove him to that the king after the day we had that because that was early on in the journey Is that what drove until you think yep, so yeah, we got the angelos making me want to hit Ari Shafir. I'm so crazy right now Did I told you angelo what I walked out of my old apartment on 23rd the one that I had for a year And I walked out and I walked down the block I was walking to the stand and I see Michael rap port just on the corner yelling and I go, God that guy's always like that Then I got to the stand and they're like he just slapped Arias like oh shit
Starting point is 00:05:19 He was like on the phone with a friend about it. I think I'm watching you out there and you were like Hey Michael rap for it. I think. I was walking you out there and you were like, hey, my friend for it, my friend already flipped. You would stop. I went like this, I went, hey, and you went, what? And I went, this way, and I fucking, I fucking was good. Oh, he went this way, and I was your head.
Starting point is 00:05:34 I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:05:44 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I And then I took them up and let all dude again. Yeah. Yo, dance soda, you kicking my ass. Yeah, uh, notorious RGA nailed it. Josh Hiner-Meyer's is jacked. He tweeted, if the dude bear hugs you, you feel it like you're holding a show worthy pit hole. It's what it is, I do. It feels like I'm holding fucking like Dawkins legs. There's muscle striations and little parts.
Starting point is 00:06:01 I mean, it's crazy how myrtle and I have the same torso, which is fat bitches. I don't bear hug you guys that much because I have to pick you with the air I do it for you so you guys can kick your legs. Yeah, I like you guys to be free I want to go on the road with you guys and carry you in a front and back baby Bjorn Yeah, do Jay and the Bjorn on either side of me instead of the plastic cut boys. It's the Bjorn boys Baby Bjorn boys big Jay and the board Bjorn boys It's called a man Bjorn sir. Yeah, these these men are voting age. Yeah, they're not babies. It's a man Bjorn Yeah, these these men are voting age. You know, not babies. It's a man-bjorn You guys buy you buy as big wheels instead of like the other guys
Starting point is 00:06:58 Cuz you guys classic big wheels guys power wheel. It's all Kevin Hart for tiny your things Oh, man look you guys are gonna be headlining this tiny arena called the stand. Christine, you were able to find, you brought that thing up, right? So John Carden showed me this week and you know, we all know John Carden. Love John. He's good, man. Great. He's opening for me at Plano, Texas House of Comedy for New Year's Eve. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Yeah. Shout out, Paul, I can see us since we're just talking about our openers that are awesome And uh, he's on legend, but he's on legend John showed me the thing goes he knows We're all about clips. John's John's one of my what I go we're all about clips Jacob a John's One of my only friends in the world who loves watching a good pedophile catch.
Starting point is 00:07:47 He's down for it. Although I do hate to find out sometimes later in life, people who are, he doesn't seem uncomfortable in front of me, but neither did Dave at all. But Dave played apparently six years of guitar hero that he didn't enjoy one minute of. Really? Yeah, I just didn't want to hurt my feelings and say he didn't like it. Oh, no. So we're down like, Dave's it's time to get the lead out. Get him, get him, get him, get him. He's like, yeah, I'll play bass on easy.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Darn. I'm like, he loves it. He prefers it that way. Jay, we just need to say this. I've never like smoking weed. Yeah. American dad sucks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:25 South Mac Farland. I don't find one. I do, but I do. But um, yeah, so who knows? For sure, but he gave you should me this clip because you got to see this and he's right. It's a video of sheer, sheerah, stallworth, sheerah, who is running for a mayor of a town I don't recall the town moss point moss point which sounds pretty California moss point moss point is it like moss like
Starting point is 00:08:58 m a s or m o s s m o s s and it's Mississippi. Oh, that does sound Mississippi. Mississippi any Moss pit. Yeah, I'm off. Are you down on there? Or a Moss Paul and a nice pit? We're going down the mouth. I've never been a Mississippi. Have you guys ever been a Mississippi? I was there for nothing when the Berk-Rysher show got canceled and I think I'm going back to Mississippi, right? Yes, September, September, second. Yeah. Um cool fucking amphitheater. We're doing. Um, yeah, please play this ladies, Mayoral. This is her campaign video.
Starting point is 00:09:29 We watched other campaign videos before you play. Remember I forget the lady's name, but she was the best member of the- Oh, Garcia, here in New York City where she busted the glass. She busted the glass. What's funny about that is we had a hard time finding that YouTube video and I told you that Katie and I watched Jeopardy every night but were backlogged by about six months. You called it. And it was on every fucking episode for like three weeks after we talked about it.
Starting point is 00:09:50 I was like, damn, do this Garcia break glass in case of emergency commercial is everywhere. It's great. Now this makes that look like a pile of garbage bullshit. This is so funny. Hi, I'm Shara Stauer and I'm running for Mayor Morse Point. Vote for me for my sample in Prayer Gender. Pause it. Well pause it and start it yes because I'm telling you if listen to the background the music is extremely important. Yeah because I just heard yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I thought there was no back it up a little bit. No I'm just keeping it simple. I love the people of my school. I'm Shira Stauer, keeping it simple. For the kids, bull. I'm on point. I'm old enough to know and young enough to do.
Starting point is 00:10:56 The job of the city, for me to do. Go register to vote. Go cash, go vote. If you want to see a change, don't be the blank. We the tiger nation for Innovation for job creation Dude that rap I would I'm voting for dude the background music is so dope in the beginning, but then she Nothing right Dude the background music is so dope in the beginning, but then it she nothing The background I want to hear it again. I have to hear that again. How comes in subtly? Do you know just be funny if her opponent just had to put out like a country song? song. He's like, my name is Degin. I live in most of them. If you want to visit me, I'll see you at
Starting point is 00:11:47 the bar. We've done in my well, immigration's problem. And we're trying to get him out of here. I'm proud that we'll keep talking. And if the taxes are high, but you ain't got nothing to fear. You're gotten due to
Starting point is 00:12:02 Steve. Have it her. Uh, things. Her prayer. Prayer. Responsibility. Accountability Nothing to fear you're getting do do skate habit her things her prayer prayer Responsibility accountability yield and power which yield store dude gets Platforms you're gonna prayer yield progress yield Oh, yield me! I thought you yield before me! I thought it was yield before me. I thought it was yield before me.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I thought it was yield before me. Can we hear that? Can I please hear that again? Please, we won't even finish it, but I'd say go back from the beginning. I have to. I have to. I have to.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to.
Starting point is 00:12:41 I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. point vote for me for my sample in prayer agenda my name is Tyra I'm Tyra I'm just a little bit of simple I love the people of my voice We the first music
Starting point is 00:12:54 I love the people of my voice I love the people of my voice Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I love the people of my voice Drop that shit bitch I was born giving it damn both the kids Oh I'm old enough to know and y'all enough to do the job of the city for me
Starting point is 00:13:14 Yeah If you want to see a change don't be the black Yeah, yeah, yeah, for innovation for job for action What the black Oh Star Wars star vote for my mom on April 6th 2021 Hold on was your eyes blurred but she's getting signed now as you say she not signed a waiver for her own mom Yeah, do the it's a soft focus Look at my name Sign a waiver for her own mom. Yeah, do the it's a soft focus
Starting point is 00:13:48 I Was a flip my name is that Star Fucking rule that song fucking rule back from break from it Please get her cousin probably made it well, now I'm saying to the people, if they're listening, we can take calls, Lou, yeah? Yes. Send a call or shoot us, oh, fucking on social media. If you have, I know people out there know wacky fucking
Starting point is 00:14:16 campaign videos. There's so many of them. The way the guy comes in in the beginning, he's like, yeah, I'm a Sarah. So, do they read the campaign videos that she wrote on TV that we couldn't find online? in the beginning is a yo I'm a Sarah so play it again. Dude there's a police campaign video that's on TV that we couldn't find online. Yeah because there was my guy in Anthony from Staten Island that was running that was like
Starting point is 00:14:31 I was in Iraq and I'm gonna help here. He's like I am running against doesn't like wall. His name is and I was dude Katie and I kept joke around that I could call Pete and Sal and you know get them to go stump for this guy Hey, flushing Queens you tired and not being able to walk to feel without tripping over some dink
Starting point is 00:14:56 What are we doing this? You get any pyos in there and I go I'm gonna send these Slinky I people back when I come from I go Pete Can you help me out and he goes? Oh? I'm T.V. I told him hold them all for sure. I don't know. I'm kind of sad about him But I don't know how to do that. Oh We're watching we're watching a trailer's on Amazon just like for something to watch last night And there's a like a romcom with Jenny Slate and Charlie Day. And we were like, what is this? We were like, is that a movie?
Starting point is 00:15:26 And we played it, it was like an Amazon original. And just in the middle, it's just Pete being like, thoughts, rugs? He's using everything. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, look, I'm an avatar. It's so funny, but you know, the full terrible thing that happened with Derek Gaines. You got a couple of movies.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah. He was cuffing the Netflix thing. But he got his own. And the game is his own thing, but it's on Netflix's YouTube page. And it's great. And it's Pete producing. And it's great. He said I showed to me.
Starting point is 00:15:50 It was really funny. But he's like Pete's introducing it. And then when he watched the video, it's like Pete on a cell phone going like, everybody swash this. It's my friend. So Derek Gaines. And then it just cuts to Derek coming out at the stand. It's like not related at all. I thought he was going to introduce him like in person. Yeah, I thought he was supposed to be there
Starting point is 00:16:09 I thought he was too. Yeah, he got COVID. Oh that people I was there when Derek got COVID. Okay, fuck I gave it to My lips to his lips. He goes, why don't know why we deep make out so much? We don't see each other in COVID AIDS to his lips. He goes, why don't we why we deep make out so much? We don't need to see each other. He can call that AIDS, Ebola, run that video back. Oh, please. Dude, how he comes in my head, by the way, I'm terribly
Starting point is 00:16:30 listening to anybody else talking. I'm just a way. Oh my God. How is she how is she pulling though? Yeah, I was. Yeah, look at this. Now through the room. It's better.
Starting point is 00:16:40 It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. Sir, one of those goes, cares about the people of Marciete. God, I love it. Listen to him come in very subtly at the top. He talks right away. Yo, shout out to the devil.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Yo, shout out to the devil. Yo, girl, tell him what you about to do to this town. Crank it, little. Tell him about your policies. Hi, I'm Shirey Stauber, and I'm running for Mayor Moore's Point. Get your diamonds up, you. For my temple and prayer agenda.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Shire Star Wars. Shire Star Wars. I'm just keeping it simple. I love the people of Morris Point. My name is Shire Star Wars. I'm just keeping it simple. Love the people of my point
Starting point is 00:17:27 I'm shot with style wall Bull P-Pull Point Younger depth of Boat To you I love the face
Starting point is 00:17:40 If you want to see a change Look at her Look at her out there For in a blood drive To do the donation Hey for a ride, the campaign to like starry stars I'm gonna wait this protection So I gotta have my eyes blurred I'm gonna miss the murder and I'm about to put a guy away to life
Starting point is 00:18:00 So they're gonna keep it I'm gonna burn her Keeping it real for the Zulu nation I'm shy Wait a life I'm gonna put it on you download it on iTunes. Oh here it is We're gonna come back with this at one point from a commercial. Yeah, you're singing here We're gonna get it to win the election because it's 2021. So let's see Big of so hi Derek I think oh my god, dude This is like a video that I send to my friends
Starting point is 00:18:48 The lighting's bands like sunny sort of on one side Oh, let me share guys. I just first taking a shit. I'm getting ready to make a peanut butter sandwich But my friend there is to it is special Hey, what's up guys? This is the fifth time I'm trying to do this video because I'm pretty sure one of my eyes is smaller than the other all of a sudden and now I can't Unsee it and now probably neither can you but I can't fix it so I'm just gonna this is the Like a cameo. Yeah, I got the same intro from John Lerker. I'm a fan of it. They ain't feelin' it.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Yeah. 25 bucks. You know, Hank is area, and it'll do the fucking voices. He'll do a poo if you give him enough. It's crazy. He's fucking dip a fucking... You get a platinum membership? They're gonna cameo for Peter, especially.
Starting point is 00:19:43 So funny. My name is Jesus People of Most Anyways, I hope Anyways, I hope you have a happy birthday From your friends at that flick
Starting point is 00:20:04 A muscle talk darric from uh... they said he called back they said you love uh... christia tally says you love dancing and shoes so have a happy birthday you gotta care for me is the funniest fucking thing in the world yo strazy morgant to him saying what's up to Derek, Derek, Gary Gades.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Oh, man, it's Dave Shapale. And I'm a fan of yours Derek. Happy birthday. I'm going to introduce you real quick. Happy birthday from Nana and people. You brother Craig loves you, man. And he wants to wish you a happy birthday. Also coming to stage, they told me to say I got say like I'm introducing you
Starting point is 00:20:50 That's so fucking funny and yeah so Derek anyways I got to go on the other room and fucking pile through this incredible ass He goes hey, man, but that girl that everyone thinks is gonna become famous soon because she's so hot I'm porkin on the other room Sorry, sorry, I'm having a birthday Sorry, I had to take off my lobster bib because I was the young hot pussy Who's Billy night? Oh She didn't win Billy night one. Yeah, look up Billy white bring up Billy white. No, see Billy. I'll see his videos
Starting point is 00:21:23 Yeah, I want to see what Billy, dude, what if he just puts out an even better banger? What if it's like a man? Dude, who, dude, Billy. Billy! Billy and I, it is here! It's just like a rock-up back tonight! Take back the night with Billy!
Starting point is 00:21:43 Or it's just him going, things ain't't gonna change if you know what I mean. You want this cold lady running around bringing chicken all your blood drives? I got a question for you. A black lady mayor? Okay. All right. What's next? A man he can't control her some bitch you know what you gonna put my football on Tuesdays 85 mayors in this part of This guy's gonna have a rap too. He was a super intended Montgomery County public This guy definitely doesn't have a rap he's going to go to bunch of non He doesn't have a rap he's going to go to a bunch of non-fims Talking all your messin' off Happy did did did we do what happened to shank you want to make music you go ahead me music
Starting point is 00:22:30 I love to save an economy. I love but his videos aren't even filmed correctly, you know their film like sideways Don't add his dumb thing work my bum business Yes, I wouldn't even allow to use a phone since I was 23 years old. There's no way he doesn't sound exactly like what Jay's doing right now That's what a flavor stick in They said well when you can do your song I ain't gonna do so I'm a run-moss point. I'm gonna go damn song Me about song
Starting point is 00:23:11 That's me be having me a male I was Congratulations on one of your mayorship I hope you have a good turn Hey Billy Knight, so yeah, I keep doing this What's my hair out of place? Hey, aren't the world's in the next room back at me to get back to bed. So anyway Billy night happy book congratulations. I'm coming to the back of most point You guys hear that that's a siren song. I gotta get out of here
Starting point is 00:23:39 I'm gonna fuck I'm gonna go fuck That's fucking weird. Did anybody call in with political? Yes one guy called Travis from Missouri. He said he's got one for you guys Travis Hi Crack Cracky. Well, I'm a Missouri St. Louis area. We've got this crazy fucking a merit gritons. How do you spell? How do you spell gritons? G-R-E-I-T-E-N-S. Is there a swastika? Huh? Is there a swastika?
Starting point is 00:24:16 Yeah, of course. No, that's actually an S-S bulldozer. Like, yes. Yeah, that's fucking. Oh, I hear it. This is one. No, this is, this was the gun. Oh, it's got the gun. So he's got a couple. He's got one for his governor race in 2018 where he's firing off like fucking assault rifles. He's holding a gun at all. And then he got impeached for fucking his hairdresser. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Oh damn. Hair dressers are, they're in the top three of great slut professions. Yeah, it goes. It goes personal trainer hairdressers and then real estate agents. I thought salon people were number one. G-O-P-S-S-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O- Real estate is they gonna close the deal. Yeah, dude, they're trading chicks. Yeah, dude They always Yeah, only hot guys fucking hairdressers aren't always hot and there they like that they party
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah, they party dude. I used to wear a rest I used to wear a restaurant right next to the salon and they used to all the salon people used to come into the bar They'd be like, yeah, we got a minutes and we thought we'd throw about eight drinks each. You're going to cut someone's hair? It's great to us like fat mom bodies, but they have like super stylish hair like three highlights and low lights. Damn, you got to cut some job. Here we go, it was an international salon in spa expo and when we are like our group
Starting point is 00:25:44 from beauty school was going for the first time There was like a big conversation about like the drugs and sex scene that was gonna be around Do we gotta send the hymbows to a fucking salon expo? Yeah, I'll go Dude field trip You guys have to wear body cams like Baltimore police officers 100% Guys you guys go to West fucking hair. What was that that I go Josh. Why did you turn the camera off? You know, I think I did I think I went to get leg.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Got you if you guys go to a fucking a hair salon Expo, you're gonna fuck so much your top layer of Dixkins gonna you're gonna see a bite. We can't send you guys during fire season because it a fucking starts up that up. Dude, we're gonna get so much pussy Justin. We're just getting thrown at us. Throwing at us, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Oh yeah, for sure. Oh yeah, for sure. Sorry. You might have to have sex with a woman Justin. What are you gonna do? Shit. Do you know what I'm saying? Is that a dick inside your pussy?
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah. If I blow in your mouth really hard, I'll something pop out. I think. Let's watch this guy's ad campaign travis rewatch this ad campaign did it it it there so many i think the top ones the one yeah it's the rino hunting one that
Starting point is 00:26:54 it is republican in name only so i've got to see guys and then i also have uh... the mayor of aurora is a black man who ran on the anti black lives matter campaign what interora calirata uh... no aurora elanoia his name's richard urwin but that's another good one you get your
Starting point is 00:27:14 and that's crazy great that's crazy to be up a black mayoral candidate you go fuck black lives matter mara white people will go well finally i thought that about that i'm a vote for him this was very popular though it's was all over the news CNN MSNBC Twitter is just sure that I've this one's very very popular this one here yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:27:33 Merrick righton's Navy Seal and today we're going rhino hunting the rhino feeds on corruption and his mark what if he's just racist and he kicks up the door and she rest all worth it you do you Eric they're putting it together they're in the fucking lab what was that? oh question's ever grinder no what was that? sorry we're trying to focus right now. You should go,
Starting point is 00:28:05 the people, I got she, and I love the people of, what's going on? Yeah. What's going on there? Who's the door? Eric Griner's?
Starting point is 00:28:14 Griner's? Griner's? Oh, he hit a battle mate? He did it great. Oh, all right, let's watch this, let's go. I'm here to immerse someone in the world.
Starting point is 00:28:22 There's a man inside that I'm going to put fucking four in this chest. No, please play this. corruption and is marked by the stripes of cowardice. Flash grenade. Join the maggot crew, get a rhino hunting permit. There's no bagging limit no tagging limit and it doesn't expire until we save our country.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Rhino hunting. So yeah so he got in trouble because he was even like asked about this on like Democratic news channels they were like what are you trying to say this is kind of saying you weren't it's okay to go out and kill you know non-Trump supporting exactly he goes no it's about hunting and say well then why weren't you in the woods like firing at at and what do I mean let's run a But my name is See how that song unites people. It's so good. I love her. She's keeping it simple. Love the people of Moss Point. My name is That's just a lot of spirit. I'm way into it. Just gonna move down there and run her campaign before 24. I just want to do any small part of the can to make sure this happens because I'm
Starting point is 00:29:50 I'm just a screen door and you can see Justin from the other side of it. He goes a shower home and they go who the fuck are you? I come from New York City. He was just me Billy Knight. What'd you do in over there? Sing that bullshit song? She was talking. I'm gonna put your dog down. I spend too much time running a bunch of crazy fucking rap songs. Is there the helping on your goddamn most point? How about you writing, I can have a plan. You'd rather make a beat than help but your constituents. It's so catchy, it's so fucking catchy man.
Starting point is 00:30:19 I love it. My name is... I will not bow to the... I'm a tough one. Lamyus. Yeah. I can write a song. I can write a song. I I'm a yes. Yeah, I can write it so I can bring that swap God, I wish I could say the name of the guy the black lives matters guy. Oh, oh, he said it He said it look up a mayor of Aurora Illinois. He said uh the last his name was urban is his last name
Starting point is 00:30:37 All right, man. Well, let's look it up a single last break and we'll come back. No, his last name was urban I mean come on Justin just throw it get off color his last name was urban yeah when he started jumping in with his ad-libs in the song I was like to talk over his last name was I don't think it's a Zooler nation oh sorry it's Irvin oh I think it was an urban last name like the
Starting point is 00:30:59 Washington or something no urban dude but if I can use it okay it's Irvin I. But the fuck he said urban. Okay, it's Irvin. I'm sorry, he was on the phone. I think I find his name is Eric inner city. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:10 I thought I was Brad chocolate Sunday. I thought it was ironic. I thought he was Michael Lowe income neighbor. This is team. Erwin. I'm up Thursday. Okay, so it's Irvin. I thought he said urban. I said what an ironic name
Starting point is 00:31:28 We're gonna come right back hang out Josh out of Myers and Justin silver. It's a Monday. You already knew that Over got to come back with it I'll come back with it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I'm Shira Stauer, keeping it sound full. For the kids, full. I'm on point.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I'm old enough to know and young enough to do. The job of the city, for me to use. Go register to vote. Go cash, show vote. If you want to see a change, don't be the blank. We the tiger nation, for innovation, for job creation, for education. For me. Hey, for a vodka. Change don't be the blank we the tight the nation for innovation for job creation for Hey for a by the campaign to like starry star vote for my mom on April 6th 2021
Starting point is 00:32:21 She just keep it as my point She just keep it as a Most point damn Justin suit is on remix dude. I'm so into this fucking song Meanwhile, she just sent home our ass Where the weird-eyed kid you just mean she doesn't mean welcome to enterprise car until my shy No, you're Please don't I have the news story of this guy by can't find the actual campaign video, but it's just a black guy that ran on all lives matters I love the song and her name goes oh It's so good
Starting point is 00:32:53 This is like what's this? Article and I can't find the actual campaign video, but that's what it was the black guy who runs in all lives matter Yeah, I this weekend, you know that a girl who works Black guy who runs in all lives matter. Yeah. I this weekend, a girl who works in Omaha. We were sitting down and bullshitting, like I was saying something about, I forget I was talking about how Black Lives Matter
Starting point is 00:33:12 like I had like when, while the, oh, some of you like clout chasing, like the white girls that were jumping in and just taking pictures of themselves at Black Lives Matter, I was like, yeah. And she was going direction. I said this twice. And the first time I just tried to glaze over
Starting point is 00:33:28 and keep moving, she was like, Black ladies. She goes, you know, that's all like bullshit, right? Black Lives Matter. And I was like, you know what I'm saying? Like the protests were happening. And these girls would jump inside the thing. And she's like, yeah, yeah, but I mean, you know, it's all bullshit, right?
Starting point is 00:33:41 Like all lives matter. I'm like, I've never been on this weird argument before. I was gonna get one of the person in color too. So it's like, yeah, I didn't really know what to say. I'm like, totally, you know, like. No, a lot of the apps, I've told a lot of people, they were like, oh, this is degrading in a lot. I've heard a lot of arguments like that.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Really? I don't remember the, yeah. I heard a lot. Black people, do you feel lot Black By black lives Not that that white lake that that the whole fanfare of like you what you were just saying Just like people virtual signaling on it. That's that she's like this is fucking degrading That's what you just knows two black people in this black. Blue and I'm a star worth Come that's gonna come better. That's gonna come Justin's new worth. I'm not even a chirostal worth. I'm getting better at this.
Starting point is 00:34:26 That's going to come Justin's new proving he's not racist, don't think? They go, do you fucking racist? He goes, am I racist? I'm not even a chirostal worth. She's just keeping it simple. Out of context him going, talk to my friend, black Lou. Completely out of context.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Oh, I had one today. Is there a white Lou? No. I mean, I guess Lewinsky. We wouldn't classify him by his race, though. It's not funny being one. We have a topic that Black Lou brought to us that I, you know, with the hymns here we got to talk about he's just in a simple black black blue john sir he's just keeping his symbol of the boys of fun fire my name is Shavas Star were apparently apparently
Starting point is 00:35:17 apparently fucking great guys hold on the short Kings that was Jacob Jacob brought that oh yeah Jacob Jacob I, I saw your email so I gave the credit. Jacob, honey. Jacob, honey. Honey. That article that you found that
Starting point is 00:35:30 she had short kings, it's time to rise and grind. A study says that men who are five, six need to earn under, need to earn $175,000 more a year to be as desirable as a six foot man. Well, I'm five, seven, and I have no idea what they're talking about. I believe that's probably true. You have to have that much more money. I think, yeah, man, it would look like that.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Because wasn't that, I've heard has like a new joke about that where I think it's like, it's like the girls were willing to be with only like a small guy if he's got the money. So it's like the trade off. I believe that. It's got financial security over physical security. Yeah. But there's a, there's a, they had a, I can't remember what documentary there was,
Starting point is 00:36:11 but they were like, they showed these women, different guys, and some of the guys were like, five, four, like real short. And they were like, but then they told them this one's a billionaire and how many of them would actually go out with them. Sure. Basically just called a gold-igging horse was the name of this Sure. Basically, just called a Golding Hors,
Starting point is 00:36:25 was the name of this document. Yeah, man, they're biologically programmed. They need to be taken care of, either physically or physically. But, initially, yeah. It speaks a lot of money, just it's not a fault, you know. What if you have little tiny legs? You know what?
Starting point is 00:36:35 I'm not five six. So sorry, you can't fight off a coyote. Yeah. So you got little legs, it was a big deal. I'll show it. I've never experienced anything. If an eagle's coming, we have to hide you. Yeah, I'm sorry that you freeze at the shriek of an owl You guys are wearing eagle shoes down to carry you off
Starting point is 00:36:52 You go have an adjustment you go. I think you get dropped over about seven miles over there by the river Just as a human pomeranian There's fucking grab you like a trout Super back up in the air So anyway Josh, I said, oh, so bitch, I didn't realize there were real. Damn, I didn't realize this was a Falcon area. I must have missed a Falcon sign. I forgot to put on my spike jacket.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Just like this small doll. Oh, it's hilarious. That's the thing. Wait, is that a real thing. Yeah, so they don't get eaten by hawks That's why I wear Japanese roll denim No, okay grab your rod, but they're allergic to round mr. Joshua It's too tough It'll up you I mean you never get to a row or denim never a Falcon I thought his pants before for as these chapters all down these aren't these are Japanese 12
Starting point is 00:37:53 Those don't want to feel like cart like they're really thick down That's the 25th of me the raw denim stuff that he's talking about that he gets it Oh, it feels like Josh is wearing like fucking cardboard like a tacked ox.ed ox. Like they don't, dude. But dude, when they would diesel us? No, no, no, no. So, no, but when they break in, bro, in three years, mm-hmm. Woo. But your legs must be so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:38:16 No, I don't think where, I only wear the 25 ounce during the winter. I have a 16 ounce that I've been breaking in. I've never mentioned my clothes and ounces. Never. But no, but it's, you've seen the black Japanese rod that I'm been breaking in. I've never measured my clothes and ounces. Never. But no, but it's you've seen the black Japanese raw denim. Those are my rock and roll pants.
Starting point is 00:38:29 You know those pants. Yeah. They got all the doodads on them. And it's like my dad's stupid to bootbacks. They got all the slickest slick. Oh, yeah. I know it's like shiny sort of. What is it got like a batting helmet from the 80s?
Starting point is 00:38:41 Or it's tar all over it? Yeah, pine tar. These things are covered in pine tar Josh goes into the fucking chain chop because give me something that feels like I'll see get it like this shirt to be like squiggly diggily do Like you make these pants all like hip-hop divin the pop Thirth thick I would be uncomfortable and raw denim I think sure kids. Yeah, for sure When I sit it's all rough on my butt's back thighs.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I like the stretchy ones. Ironheart, the company that I work with, the Shafer's Garmin Hotel. Rob's clothes are great. He dresses like Jason Bamoah and Jeff Goldblum. Never much of like, he dresses them? Yeah. In the morning.
Starting point is 00:39:23 It's the coolest fucking story. Of course it's a super fucking LA douchey. Of course it is. Yeah in the morning. Yeah. It's the coolest fucking story. It's a super fucking LA. Do she Of course it is. Oh my god. Oh my god. Josh. Yes, it is This is like hot. Do this is what you look up. This is my home. Yeah, of course. These are your home I love you Rob do Rob rules man. Oh man. He got in the denim in the funniest story He was actually a bank robber. And he was running from the police and he fell into a vat of denim. That's what he said. Japanese denim. He's unwrapped me. He will take three hours to get him saved. Oh my life. I'm a break in. Damn. These jeans save me. Raw. They're so great. What do they cost?
Starting point is 00:40:05 What do they cost the pair? When I got them, they were $395. Yeah. It's too waste. That was out of waste. I'll have them forever. They don't rip out in the crotch. You might have to get in patched,
Starting point is 00:40:17 but they do their great jeans. I swear by these, man. What are you gonna patched with? You take them to like a Japanese person skin. Crash, you have to ask me a question. like a take him to like a Japanese person skin Crash your question you're taking to a dojo master. Yeah, what are they use ykk zippers? What do we got here all button fly? Yeah, button flies no thanks. Yeah, I'm not a fucking gigalo. You're like button fly No, what button you're like an ass with button fly I don't button fly
Starting point is 00:40:41 It's so cool like three of the buttons all look the same color and then there's always that white one That's a stable shit. Oh, that is thing thing. This is thing. Yeah, I hope he dates Josh homie's ex wife so he can get assaulted Oh Well, you know the guy who you know that you know that you know that your gunner gunner Box his hat. Yes, he knows the habit that sure in the back of Shaper's Garmin Hotel for years. I'm glad that you did. Did I forget to tell you that you know the Habadassure? Well, I can't, I have never felt more proud
Starting point is 00:41:11 of having Josh Hommie as my favorite artist, knowing that he assaults whoever works with us. The Habadassure. I like that he's going to go fuck. Josh always does, he goes, no, it's scuzz, dude, scuzz, the good dude. And he just keeps calling up I won name always. Yeah, it's scuzz, it's scuzz. I'veuzz is a good dude. It keeps calling up by one name always. Scuzz is cool.
Starting point is 00:41:25 I've never felt more seen as being a queen of the Stone Age fan than knowing that he fucking fought the Habitather that works in this store. It's gotten her. He doesn't work. You keep saying Rob, like we all know Rob from we go, Rob's a good. Now it's not at the same guy that's two different. Is it Rob Schaefer? Rob Schaefer.
Starting point is 00:41:42 No, but they Gunner Fox is the hat maker. Speaking of Josh, Tommy, the Pandora playlist of the week is my top 10 Queens of the Stone Age songs. What's number one, can I guess? I didn't do them in no particular. I just did my favorite songs. Like Clockworks in there, though. For sure.
Starting point is 00:41:57 No, it's a, I see, just. Yeah, I disappear. Yeah, he's on there. It's just go to Pandora type in bonfire space SXM and you can get my top 10 queens of this. Christine got they should all over when she puts sublime burritos. I hate that band. I don't like sublime fucking worse band I hate white reggae. You know that. I took white reggae is the is a is a huge insult to music. I thought I saw police I like the police, but they're not way reggae anymore
Starting point is 00:42:27 no they're not their pop punk post-punk and they're scat it's reggae there's reggae in the police but the police are like to there are more punk they start as a punk band with reggae influence mine that's fucking sublime think now you compare sublime to the police yeah I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show.
Starting point is 00:42:46 I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show.
Starting point is 00:43:02 I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be'm not now. It's got his custom- Tamagent drums. Japanese drums. Jacob, you want to take my place? SDR show? Yeah, damn. You get- I will. You get the opportunity to interview Stuart Copeland.
Starting point is 00:43:12 It's coming this Friday. Why don't you do it with Jacob? He'll be stoked. Ralph. With Ralph. With Ralph. Do you should, Jacob? You absolutely should.
Starting point is 00:43:19 So you love our friend. You love Stuart Copeland, but you do not enjoy Ralph. You dislike Ralph more than you like Stuart Copeland. that's Ralph getting uh, dude up as ass ready Blame again with the stop stop stops Or alph. What happened? I'm gonna pay him for a player rammed a bug plug up his ass. He was rammed it up his ass and it was play for it first. And then she just- But it was assault.
Starting point is 00:43:53 She just goes boom and you see and he goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Okay, loo Oh also some arena I believe coming to my Possibly possibly she's the most flaky person. That's fine. Let's not count up But there's a chance you might make an appearance in Tampa. Let's not even say what show. Oh my god. That's this weekend Big J is gonna be a Tampa improv in O'Cala be me big J is gonna be at the funny Oh, he was in the funny boom. He's gonna be in Tampa improv this Friday and Saturday and then McGubbies and then uh McGubes McGubbies and Columbus so ha ha funny bone and Columbus for tickets and other tour dates big J comedy.com is really the show that is the show is the fucking show Dan Soder is going to be in Tulsa Oklahoma T cities and DC improv uh this Thursday. No Friday Saturday only this weekend, right?
Starting point is 00:45:05 Just Saturday. Just Saturday. One show. One show in Tulsa Saturday night. Adrian. Suck on that Tulsa. Adrian, I have a luchi's gonna be open and form you. Nice. Nice. Nice. We're gonna be at Kane's ballroom and bring that. Great. I'm gonna tell you I've done that a few times. It's great. Yeah, I'm very excited. It's big. Please come out. Daniel being this row. Daniel. Of course the Hbo's podcast coming soon Hope that's starting on Monday. Yeah, uh check these guys out. You know these guys Josh Adam
Starting point is 00:45:30 Myers Justin silver I am Justin silver and at Josh Adam Myers on social media fucking do it. We love you guys Also bonfire merch calm, which gonna have to get into the himbo's game. Yeah, I think I have to get that take over dude Yeah, we're all done. I'm dude. Everything's all done. I'll talk to Rob. Every shirt hurts. I'm gonna get a gunner hat.

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