The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Just Keeping' It Simple (feat. Justin Silver & Josh Adam Meyers)
Episode Date: August 23, 2022Fresh off their first recording of The Himbos Podcast, Josh Adam Meyers and Justin Silver join The Bonfire as the gang discovers a mayoral candidate with a catchy campaign song!Stream "The Bonfire wit...h Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@IAmJustinSilver www.IAmJustinSilver.com@JoshAdamMeyers www.JoshAdamMeyers.com
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder
Man, we're getting Lucy Kusin here. I'm just kissing and touching
Did I just butt-pluck my Molly Bell?
Your boob stories
Suppositories
Take it take it
John baby really swallowed that right up first and foremost it's bonfire series X infection talk 103 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do It's probably something Justin works out to and just goes nah yeah, I do
I didn't realize what it was
Just wait you definitely
Yeah, it's just in turns and on it's just it's just the rhythm of the night. I love that song
Corona such a good one. I love that
That's a great laugh. You just did a pretzel. See what?
You went, Prada. I love it.
Let me tell you something.
Me and Jay have listened to that alone together on a car drive at night.
This is the rhythm of the nine.
Dude, we ever told nine.
Do we ever tell a story about when we did the one nighter in Western mass after this?
Yes. And you and I coming back and like just fucking, yeah,
it's one of my favorite stories.
A bartender or something.
Yeah, Justin and I were both horned up
because he was talking to a girl and I was talking to the bartender
and then we're just silent on the ride
and we're listening to something.
No, we're listening to the angel of the angel.
And those how does it feel?
We both listen to it.
They were like, you know, are we both like super horny?
I look over at Dan and I'm like, I'm just like,
it got quiet and we started by talking about driving
Driving back to corny boys in a car
You hard also dance like grab in the steam world making like
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Dude, he's ripping the steering wheel.
Making like...
I'm like just grinding in the seat
and then I look over at him
and we just start cracking up
because you were like fanatizing
looking out into the open road.
You were both fucking irrespective
failures of grabbing women's head. Absolutely.
Oh man, if I was in room right now, I'd be like,
dude.
I'm like, dude.
I'm like, dude.
I'm like, dude, I'm like, dude.
Yeah, dude.
It was 100% what happened.
We were about to sit in the, just like,
Justin's just putting his ass in the seatbar.
Yes, yes.
Dude, I have a, I always, because I still have a video on my phone
from when we like did a video of us
to promote it on Instagram
And it was like back when I had glasses. This is like five or six years ago
Dude, and then I forgot I just remember that how and we were just driving and it was quiet and then you just read both right
We look over at each other and we're both grinding the
Long before you realize what you're doing. It was like, I was even there. I was a million miles away.
You're going.
I'll tell you where I was.
I'll tell you where I was.
I had my forearm wrapped around the lower back of the lady
behind the bar and silk sheets.
Let me tell you, let me tell you.
By the time we looked at you, you're touching chins.
Did you both go in?
Then it's just a standard shot of the hand with my hand.
I heard the hand coming up. Oh no, it's just and then it's just a standard shot of the hand with my hand
It's the it's the squeeze and then the
Let go It wasn't until the part of the song we go
I gotta know behavior that we even looked at each other. That's nine minutes
11 minutes long. It's the length of a full blow job. It's like it's like between there's a different version you guys
Hey guys, we didn't get any pussy in my but hey
You want to like it work on our boners?
Because we were just like driving listening I just put my iTunes on random and it just came on and it was like
Overnight drive so like a three hour drive from Western, Mass New York on a Sunday night
It was a job of a good. It was just that quiet for too long and Justin was like cars in the road
And I was driving it was just that quiet for too long and Justin was like no cars in the road
and Justin or you weren't there the other one might have just whacked off in the car
That's dangerous because I was gonna get 75 have you done that?
No, I walked off while driving Joel my guitar. It does it all the time
All the time dick doesn't he have a big dick or that's a drama probably here comes here comes
Anyway probably here comes here comes anyway
what are you thinking about?
so hilarious that you just have
de angelo on your eyes that album rules
did you just pop?
a lot of food in album
food in a baby who is one of the five hundred greatest outside of it
it's a great album
you mean the man that assaulted my friend Arie Schaffer
yeah you chose the man that assaulted my friend Ari Shafir. Yeah, yeah, I'm so great. I
Think I should drove him to that the king after the day we had that because that was early on in the journey
Is that what drove until you think yep, so yeah, we got the angelos making me want to hit Ari Shafir. I'm so crazy right now
Did I told you angelo what I walked out of my old apartment on 23rd the one that I had for a year
And I walked out and I walked down the block
I was walking to the stand and I see Michael rap port just on the corner yelling and I go, God that guy's always like that
Then I got to the stand and they're like he just slapped Arias like oh shit
He was like on the phone with a friend about it. I think
I'm watching you out there and you were like
Hey Michael rap for it. I think. I was walking you out there and you were like, hey, my friend for it, my friend already flipped.
You would stop.
I went like this, I went, hey, and you went, what?
And I went, this way, and I fucking,
I fucking was good.
Oh, he went this way, and I was your head.
I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped, I jumped,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I And then I took them up and let all dude again. Yeah. Yo, dance soda, you kicking my ass.
Yeah, uh, notorious RGA nailed it.
Josh Hiner-Meyer's is jacked.
He tweeted, if the dude bear hugs you, you feel it like you're holding a show worthy
pit hole.
It's what it is, I do.
It feels like I'm holding fucking like Dawkins legs.
There's muscle striations and little parts.
I mean, it's crazy how myrtle and I have the same torso, which is fat bitches. I don't bear hug you guys that much because I have to pick you with the air
I do it for you so you guys can kick your legs. Yeah, I like you guys to be free
I want to go on the road with you guys and carry you in a front and back baby Bjorn
Yeah, do Jay and the Bjorn on either side of me instead of the plastic cut boys. It's the Bjorn boys
Baby Bjorn boys big Jay and the board Bjorn boys
It's called a man Bjorn sir. Yeah, these these men are voting age. Yeah, they're not babies. It's a man Bjorn
Yeah, these these men are voting age. You know, not babies. It's a man-bjorn
You guys buy you buy as big wheels instead of like the other guys
Cuz you guys classic big wheels guys power wheel. It's all Kevin Hart for tiny your things
Oh, man look you guys are gonna be headlining this tiny arena called the stand.
Christine, you were able to find, you brought that thing up, right?
So John Carden showed me this week and you know, we all know John Carden. Love John.
He's good, man.
Great.
He's opening for me at Plano, Texas House of Comedy for New Year's Eve.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Shout out, Paul, I can see us since we're just talking about our openers that are awesome
And uh, he's on legend, but he's on legend
John showed me the thing goes he knows
We're all about clips. John's
John's one of my what I go we're all about clips
Jacob a John's
One of my only friends in the world who loves watching a good pedophile catch.
He's down for it.
Although I do hate to find out sometimes later in life, people who are, he doesn't seem uncomfortable
in front of me, but neither did Dave at all. But Dave played apparently six years of guitar hero
that he didn't enjoy one minute of. Really? Yeah, I just didn't want to hurt my feelings and say he didn't like it.
Oh, no.
So we're down like, Dave's it's time to get the lead out.
Get him, get him, get him, get him.
He's like, yeah, I'll play bass on easy.
Darn.
I'm like, he loves it.
He prefers it that way.
Jay, we just need to say this.
I've never like smoking weed.
Yeah.
American dad sucks.
Yeah.
South Mac Farland.
I don't find one.
I do, but I do.
But um, yeah, so who knows?
For sure, but he gave you should me this clip because you got to see this and he's right.
It's a video of sheer, sheerah,
stallworth, sheerah, who is running for a mayor of a town I don't recall the town
moss point moss point which sounds pretty California moss point moss point is it like moss like
m a s or m o s s m o s s and it's Mississippi. Oh, that does sound Mississippi. Mississippi any
Moss pit. Yeah, I'm off. Are you down on there?
Or a Moss Paul and a nice pit? We're going down the mouth. I've never been a Mississippi.
Have you guys ever been a Mississippi? I was there for nothing when the
Berk-Rysher show got canceled and I think I'm going back to Mississippi, right?
Yes, September, September, second. Yeah. Um cool fucking amphitheater. We're doing.
Um, yeah, please play this ladies, Mayoral.
This is her campaign video.
We watched other campaign videos before you play.
Remember I forget the lady's name, but she was the best member of the-
Oh, Garcia, here in New York City where she busted the glass.
She busted the glass.
What's funny about that is we had a hard time finding that YouTube video and I told you
that Katie and I watched Jeopardy every night but were backlogged by about six months.
You called it.
And it was on every fucking episode for like three weeks after we talked about it.
I was like, damn, do this Garcia break glass in case of emergency commercial is everywhere.
It's great.
Now this makes that look like a pile of garbage bullshit.
This is so funny.
Hi, I'm Shara Stauer and I'm running for Mayor Morse Point. Vote for me for my sample
in Prayer Gender. Pause it. Well pause it and start it yes because I'm telling you if
listen to the background the music is extremely important. Yeah because I just heard yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I thought there was no back it up a little bit. No I'm just keeping it simple. I love the people of my school.
I'm Shira Stauer, keeping it simple. For the kids, bull. I'm on point. I'm old enough to know and young enough to do.
The job of the city, for me to do. Go register to vote. Go cash, go vote. If you want to see a change, don't be the blank.
We the tiger nation for
Innovation for job creation
Dude that rap I would I'm voting for dude the background music is so dope in the beginning, but then she
Nothing right Dude the background music is so dope in the beginning, but then it she nothing
The background I want to hear it again. I have to hear that again. How comes in subtly?
Do you know just be funny if her opponent just had to put out like a country song? song. He's like, my name is Degin. I live in most of them. If you want to
visit me, I'll see you at
the bar. We've done in my
well, immigration's problem.
And we're trying to get him out
of here. I'm proud that
we'll keep talking. And
if the taxes are high, but
you ain't got nothing to
fear. You're gotten due to
Steve. Have it her.
Uh, things. Her prayer.
Prayer. Responsibility. Accountability Nothing to fear you're getting do do skate habit her things her prayer prayer
Responsibility accountability yield and power which yield store dude gets
Platforms you're gonna prayer yield progress yield
Oh, yield me! I thought you yield before me!
I thought it was yield before me.
I thought it was yield before me.
I thought it was yield before me.
Can we hear that?
Can I please hear that again?
Please, we won't even finish it,
but I'd say go back from the beginning.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. point vote for me for my sample in prayer agenda my name is Tyra
I'm Tyra
I'm just a little bit of simple
I love the people of my voice
We the first music
I love the people of my voice
I love the people of my voice
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I love the people of my voice
Drop that shit bitch
I was born giving it damn both the kids
Oh
I'm old enough to know and y'all enough to do the job of the city for me
Yeah
If you want to see a change don't be the black
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for innovation for job for action
What the black
Oh Star Wars star vote for my mom on April 6th 2021
Hold on was your eyes blurred but she's getting signed now as you say she not signed a waiver for her own mom
Yeah, do the it's a soft focus
Look at my name Sign a waiver for her own mom. Yeah, do the it's a soft focus
I Was a flip my name is that
Star
Fucking rule that song fucking rule back from break from it
Please get her cousin probably made it well, now I'm saying to the people,
if they're listening, we can take calls, Lou, yeah?
Yes.
Send a call or shoot us, oh, fucking on social media.
If you have, I know people out there know wacky fucking
campaign videos.
There's so many of them.
The way the guy comes in in the beginning, he's like,
yeah, I'm a Sarah.
So, do they read the campaign videos that she wrote on TV that we couldn't find online? in the beginning is a yo I'm a Sarah so play it again. Dude there's a police campaign video
that's on TV that we couldn't find online.
Yeah because there was my guy in Anthony
from Staten Island that was running that was like
I was in Iraq and I'm gonna help here.
He's like I am running against
doesn't like wall.
His name is
and I was dude Katie and I kept joke around
that I could call Pete and Sal
and you know get them to go stump for this guy
Hey, flushing Queens you tired and not being able to walk to feel without tripping over some dink
What are we doing this?
You get any pyos in there and I go I'm gonna send these
Slinky I people back when I come from I go Pete Can you help me out and he goes? Oh?
I'm T.V. I told him hold them all for sure. I don't know. I'm kind of sad about him
But I don't know how to do that. Oh
We're watching we're watching a trailer's on Amazon just like for something to watch last night
And there's a like a romcom with Jenny Slate and Charlie Day. And we were like, what is this?
We were like, is that a movie?
And we played it, it was like an Amazon original.
And just in the middle, it's just Pete being like,
thoughts, rugs?
He's using everything.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, look, I'm an avatar.
It's so funny, but you know, the full terrible thing
that happened with Derek Gaines.
You got a couple of movies.
Yeah.
He was cuffing the Netflix thing.
But he got his own.
And the game is his own thing, but it's on Netflix's YouTube page.
And it's great.
And it's Pete producing.
And it's great.
He said I showed to me.
It was really funny.
But he's like Pete's introducing it.
And then when he watched the video, it's like Pete on a cell phone going like,
everybody swash this.
It's my friend.
So Derek Gaines.
And then it just cuts to Derek coming out at the stand.
It's like not related at all. I thought he was going to introduce him like in person. Yeah, I thought he was supposed to be there
I thought he was too. Yeah, he got COVID. Oh that people
I was there when Derek got COVID. Okay, fuck I gave it to
My lips to his lips. He goes, why don't know why we deep make out so much?
We don't see each other in COVID AIDS
to his lips. He goes, why don't we why we deep make out so much? We don't need to see each other.
He can call that AIDS, Ebola, run that video back.
Oh, please.
Dude, how he comes in my head, by the way, I'm terribly
listening to anybody else talking.
I'm just a way.
Oh my God.
How is she how is she pulling though?
Yeah, I was.
Yeah, look at this.
Now through the room.
It's better.
It's better.
It's better.
It's better.
It's better.
It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. Sir, one of those goes, cares about the people of Marciete. God, I love it.
Listen to him come in very subtly at the top.
He talks right away.
Yo, shout out to the devil.
Yo, shout out to the devil.
Yo, girl, tell him what you about to do to this town.
Crank it, little.
Tell him about your policies.
Hi, I'm Shirey Stauber,
and I'm running for Mayor Moore's Point.
Get your diamonds up, you.
For my temple and prayer agenda.
Shire Star Wars.
Shire Star Wars.
I'm just keeping it simple.
I love the people of Morris Point.
My name is Shire Star Wars.
I'm just keeping it simple.
Love the people of my
point
I'm shot with style wall
Bull
P-Pull
Point
Younger depth of
Boat
To you
I love the face
If you want to see a change
Look at her
Look at her out there For in a blood drive
To do the donation
Hey for a ride, the campaign to like starry stars
I'm gonna wait this protection
So I gotta have my eyes blurred
I'm gonna miss the murder and I'm about to put a guy away to life
So they're gonna keep it
I'm gonna burn her
Keeping it real for the Zulu nation I'm shy Wait a life
I'm gonna put it on you download it on iTunes. Oh here it is
We're gonna come back with this at one point from a commercial. Yeah, you're singing here We're gonna get it to win the election because it's 2021. So let's see
Big of so hi
Derek I think oh my god, dude
This is like a video that I send to my friends
The lighting's bands like sunny sort of on one side
Oh, let me share guys. I just first taking a shit. I'm getting ready to make a peanut butter sandwich But my friend there is to it is special
Hey, what's up guys?
This is the fifth time I'm trying to do this video because I'm pretty sure one of my eyes is smaller than the other all of a sudden and now I can't
Unsee it and now probably neither can you but I can't fix it so I'm just gonna this is the
Like a cameo. Yeah, I got the same intro from John Lerker.
I'm a fan of it.
They ain't feelin' it.
Yeah.
25 bucks.
You know, Hank is area, and it'll do the fucking voices.
He'll do a poo if you give him enough.
It's crazy.
He's fucking dip a fucking...
You get a platinum membership?
They're gonna cameo for Peter, especially.
So funny.
My name is
Jesus
People of
Most
Anyways, I hope
Anyways, I hope you have a happy birthday
From your friends at that flick
A muscle talk darric from uh...
they said he called back
they said you love uh... christia tally says you love dancing
and shoes so have a happy birthday
you gotta care for me is the funniest
fucking thing in the world
yo strazy morgant to him saying what's up to
Derek, Derek, Gary Gades.
Oh, man, it's Dave Shapale.
And I'm a fan of yours Derek.
Happy birthday.
I'm going to introduce you real quick.
Happy birthday from Nana and people.
You brother Craig loves you, man.
And he wants to wish you a happy birthday.
Also coming to stage, they told me to say I got say like I'm introducing you
That's so fucking funny and yeah so Derek anyways
I got to go on the other room and fucking pile through this incredible ass
He goes hey, man, but that girl that everyone thinks is gonna become famous soon because she's so hot
I'm porkin on the other room
Sorry, sorry, I'm having a birthday
Sorry, I had to take off my lobster bib because I was the young hot pussy
Who's Billy night? Oh
She didn't win Billy night one. Yeah, look up Billy white bring up Billy white. No, see Billy. I'll see his videos
Yeah, I want to see what Billy, dude,
what if he just puts out an even better banger?
What if it's like a man?
Dude, who, dude, Billy.
Billy!
Billy and I, it is here!
It's just like a rock-up back tonight!
Take back the night with Billy!
Or it's just him going, things ain't't gonna change if you know what I mean.
You want this cold lady running around bringing chicken all your blood drives?
I got a question for you. A black lady mayor? Okay. All right. What's next? A man he can't control her some bitch you know what you gonna put my football on Tuesdays
85 mayors in this part of
This guy's gonna have a rap too. He was a super intended Montgomery County public
This guy definitely doesn't have a rap he's going to go to bunch of non
He doesn't have a rap he's going to go to a bunch of non-fims
Talking all your messin' off Happy did did did we do what happened to shank you want to make music you go ahead me music
I love to save an economy. I love but his videos aren't even filmed correctly, you know their film like sideways
Don't add his dumb thing work
my bum business
Yes, I wouldn't even allow to use a phone since I was 23 years old. There's no way he doesn't sound exactly like what Jay's doing right now
That's what a flavor stick in
They said well when you can do your song
I ain't gonna do so I'm a run-moss point. I'm gonna go damn song
Me about song
That's me be having me a male
I was
Congratulations on one of your mayorship
I hope you have a good turn
Hey Billy Knight, so yeah, I keep doing this
What's my hair out of place?
Hey, aren't the world's in the next room back at me to get back to bed. So anyway
Billy night happy book congratulations. I'm coming to the back of most point You guys hear that that's a siren song. I gotta get out of here
I'm gonna fuck
I'm gonna go fuck
That's fucking weird. Did anybody call in with political?
Yes one guy called Travis from Missouri. He said he's got one for you guys Travis
Hi Crack Cracky. Well, I'm a Missouri St. Louis area. We've got this crazy fucking a merit
gritons. How do you spell? How do you spell gritons?
G-R-E-I-T-E-N-S. Is there a swastika?
Huh? Is there a swastika?
Yeah, of course. No, that's actually an S-S bulldozer.
Like, yes. Yeah, that's fucking. Oh, I hear it. This is one. No, this is, this was the gun. Oh, it's got the gun.
So he's got a couple.
He's got one for his governor race in 2018
where he's firing off like fucking assault rifles.
He's holding a gun at all.
And then he got impeached for fucking his hairdresser.
Oh, yes.
Oh damn.
Hair dressers are, they're in the top three
of great slut professions.
Yeah, it goes.
It goes personal trainer hairdressers
and then real estate agents.
I thought salon people were number one. G-O-P-S-S-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-N-O- Real estate is they gonna close the deal. Yeah, dude, they're trading chicks. Yeah, dude
They always Yeah, only hot guys fucking hairdressers aren't always hot and there they like that they party
Yeah, they party dude. I used to wear a rest
I used to wear a restaurant right next to the salon and they used to all the salon people used to come into the bar
They'd be like, yeah, we got a minutes and we thought we'd throw about eight drinks each.
You're going to cut someone's hair?
It's great to us like fat mom bodies, but they have like super stylish hair like three
highlights and low lights.
Damn, you got to cut some job.
Here we go, it was an international salon in spa expo and when we are like our group
from beauty school was going for the first time
There was like a big conversation about like the drugs and sex scene that was gonna be around
Do we gotta send the hymbows to a fucking salon expo? Yeah, I'll go
Dude field trip
You guys have to wear body cams like Baltimore police officers 100%
Guys you guys go to West fucking hair. What was that that I go Josh. Why did you turn the camera off?
You know, I think I did I think I went to get
leg.
Got you if you guys go to a fucking a hair salon
Expo, you're gonna fuck so much your top layer of
Dixkins gonna you're gonna see a bite.
We can't send you guys during fire season
because it a fucking starts up that up.
Dude, we're gonna get so much pussy Justin.
We're just getting thrown at us.
Throwing at us, dude.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Sorry.
You might have to have sex with a woman Justin.
What are you gonna do?
Shit.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Is that a dick inside your pussy?
Yeah.
If I blow in your mouth really hard,
I'll something pop out.
I think.
Let's watch this guy's
ad campaign travis rewatch this ad campaign did it it it there so many i think
the top ones the one
yeah it's the rino hunting one that
it is
republican in name only
so i've got to see guys and then i also have
uh... the mayor of aurora
is a black man who ran on the anti black lives matter campaign
what interora calirata
uh... no aurora elanoia
his name's richard urwin but that's another good one you get your
and that's crazy great that's crazy to be up
a black mayoral candidate you go
fuck black lives matter mara white people will go
well finally i thought that about that
i'm a vote for him
this was very popular though it's was all over the news CNN MSNBC
Twitter is just sure that I've this one's very very popular this one here yeah
yeah
Merrick righton's Navy Seal and today we're going rhino hunting the rhino feeds on
corruption and his mark what if he's just racist and he kicks up the door and she rest all worth it you do you
Eric they're putting it together they're in the
fucking lab
what was that?
oh question's ever grinder
no what was that?
sorry we're trying to focus right now. You should go,
the people,
I got she,
and I love the people of,
what's going on?
Yeah.
What's going on there?
Who's the door?
Eric Griner's?
Griner's?
Griner's?
Oh, he hit a battle mate?
He did it great.
Oh, all right,
let's watch this,
let's go.
I'm here to immerse someone in the world.
There's a man inside that I'm going to put
fucking four in this chest.
No, please play this.
corruption and is marked by the stripes of cowardice.
Flash grenade.
Join the maggot crew, get a rhino hunting permit.
There's no bagging limit no
tagging limit and it doesn't expire until we save our country.
Rhino hunting. So yeah so he got in trouble because he was even like asked about
this on like Democratic news channels they were like what are you trying to
say this is kind of saying you weren't it's okay to go out and kill you know non-Trump supporting exactly he goes no it's about
hunting and say well then why weren't you in the woods like firing at at and what do I mean
let's run a But my name is
See how that song unites people. It's so good. I love her. She's
keeping it simple. Love the people of Moss Point. My name is
That's just a lot of spirit. I'm way into it. Just gonna move down there and run her campaign before 24. I just want to do any small part of the can to make sure this happens because I'm
I'm just a screen door and you can see Justin from the other side of it. He goes a shower home and they go who the fuck are you?
I come from New York City. He was just me Billy Knight. What'd you do in over there?
Sing that bullshit song? She was talking. I'm gonna put your dog down.
I spend too much time running a bunch of crazy fucking rap songs.
Is there the helping on your goddamn most point?
How about you writing, I can have a plan.
You'd rather make a beat than help but your constituents.
It's so catchy, it's so fucking catchy man.
I love it.
My name is...
I will not bow to the...
I'm a tough one.
Lamyus.
Yeah. I can write a song. I can write a song. I I'm a yes. Yeah, I can write it so I can bring that swap
God, I wish I could say the name of the guy the black lives matters guy. Oh, oh, he said it
He said it look up a mayor of Aurora Illinois. He said uh the last his name was urban is his last name
All right, man. Well, let's look it up a single last break and we'll come back. No, his last name was urban
I mean come on Justin just throw it
get off color
his last name was
urban yeah when he started jumping in with his ad-libs in the song I was like
to talk over his last name was
I don't think it's a
Zooler nation oh sorry it's Irvin oh I think it was an urban last name like the
Washington or something
no
urban dude
but if I can use it
okay it's Irvin I. But the fuck he said urban. Okay, it's Irvin.
I'm sorry, he was on the phone.
I think I find his name is Eric inner city.
I don't know.
I thought I was Brad chocolate Sunday.
I thought it was ironic.
I thought he was Michael Lowe income neighbor.
This is team.
Erwin.
I'm up Thursday.
Okay, so it's Irvin.
I thought he said urban. I said what an ironic name
We're gonna come right back hang out Josh out of Myers and Justin silver. It's a Monday. You already knew that
Over got to come back with it
I'll come back with it. Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
I'm Shira Stauer, keeping it sound full.
For the kids, full.
I'm on point.
I'm old enough to know and young enough to do.
The job of the city, for me to use.
Go register to vote.
Go cash, show vote.
If you want to see a change, don't be the blank.
We the tiger nation, for innovation, for job creation,
for education. For me. Hey, for a vodka. Change don't be the blank we the tight the nation for innovation for job creation for
Hey for a by the campaign to like starry star vote for my mom on April 6th 2021
She just keep it as my point
She just keep it as a Most point damn Justin suit is on remix dude. I'm so into this fucking song
Meanwhile, she just sent home our ass
Where the weird-eyed kid you just mean she doesn't mean welcome to enterprise car until my shy
No, you're
Please don't I have the news story of this guy by can't find the actual campaign video, but it's just a black guy that ran on all lives matters
I love the song and her name goes oh
It's so good
This is like what's this?
Article and I can't find the actual campaign video, but that's what it was the black guy who runs in all lives matter
Yeah, I this weekend, you know that a girl who works
Black guy who runs in all lives matter. Yeah.
I this weekend, a girl who works in Omaha.
We were sitting down and bullshitting,
like I was saying something about,
I forget I was talking about how Black Lives Matter
like I had like when, while the,
oh, some of you like clout chasing,
like the white girls that were jumping in
and just taking pictures of themselves
at Black Lives Matter, I was like, yeah.
And she was going direction.
I said this twice.
And the first time I just tried to glaze over
and keep moving, she was like, Black ladies.
She goes, you know, that's all like bullshit, right?
Black Lives Matter.
And I was like, you know what I'm saying?
Like the protests were happening.
And these girls would jump inside the thing.
And she's like, yeah, yeah, but I mean,
you know, it's all bullshit, right?
Like all lives matter.
I'm like, I've never been on this weird argument before.
I was gonna get one of the person in color too.
So it's like, yeah, I didn't really know what to say.
I'm like, totally, you know, like.
No, a lot of the apps, I've told a lot of people,
they were like, oh, this is degrading in a lot.
I've heard a lot of arguments like that.
Really?
I don't remember the, yeah.
I heard a lot.
Black people, do you feel lot Black By black lives
Not that that white lake that that the whole fanfare of like you what you were just saying
Just like people virtual signaling on it. That's that she's like this is fucking degrading
That's what you just knows two black people in this black. Blue and I'm a star worth
Come that's gonna come better. That's gonna come Justin's new worth. I'm not even a chirostal worth. I'm getting better at this.
That's going to come Justin's new proving he's not racist, don't think?
They go, do you fucking racist?
He goes, am I racist?
I'm not even a chirostal worth.
She's just keeping it simple.
Out of context him going, talk to my friend,
black Lou.
Completely out of context.
Oh, I had one today.
Is there a white Lou? No. I mean, I guess Lewinsky.
We wouldn't classify him by his race, though.
It's not funny being one.
We have a topic that Black Lou brought to us that I, you know, with the hymns here we got to talk about he's just in a simple black black blue john sir he's just keeping his
symbol of the boys of fun fire my name is
Shavas Star were apparently
apparently
apparently fucking great guys hold on the short
Kings that was Jacob Jacob brought that
oh yeah Jacob Jacob I, I saw your email
so I gave the credit.
Jacob, honey.
Jacob, honey.
Honey.
That article that you found that
she had short kings, it's time to rise and grind.
A study says that men who are five, six
need to earn under, need to earn $175,000 more a year
to be as desirable as a six foot man.
Well, I'm five, seven, and I have no idea what they're talking about.
I believe that's probably true.
You have to have that much more money.
I think, yeah, man, it would look like that.
Because wasn't that, I've heard has like a new joke about that where I think it's like,
it's like the girls were willing to be with only like a small guy if he's got the money.
So it's like the trade off.
I believe that.
It's got financial security over physical security.
Yeah.
But there's a, there's a, they had a,
I can't remember what documentary there was,
but they were like, they showed these women,
different guys, and some of the guys were like,
five, four, like real short.
And they were like, but then they told them
this one's a billionaire and how many of them
would actually go out with them.
Sure.
Basically just called a gold-igging horse was the name of this Sure. Basically, just called a Golding Hors,
was the name of this document.
Yeah, man, they're biologically programmed.
They need to be taken care of,
either physically or physically.
But, initially, yeah.
It speaks a lot of money, just it's not a fault, you know.
What if you have little tiny legs?
You know what?
I'm not five six.
So sorry, you can't fight off a coyote.
Yeah.
So you got little legs, it was a big deal.
I'll show it.
I've never experienced anything.
If an eagle's coming, we have to hide you. Yeah, I'm sorry that you freeze at the shriek of an owl
You guys are wearing eagle shoes down to carry you off
You go have an adjustment you go. I think you get dropped over about seven miles over there by the river
Just as a human pomeranian
There's fucking grab you like a trout
Super back up in the air
So anyway Josh, I said, oh, so bitch, I didn't realize there were real.
Damn, I didn't realize this was a Falcon area.
I must have missed a Falcon sign.
I forgot to put on my spike jacket.
Just like this small doll.
Oh, it's hilarious.
That's the thing. Wait, is that a real thing. Yeah, so they don't get eaten by hawks
That's why I wear Japanese roll denim
No, okay grab your rod, but they're allergic to round mr. Joshua
It's too tough
It'll up you I mean you never get to a row or denim never a
Falcon I thought his pants before for as these chapters all down these aren't these are Japanese 12
Those don't want to feel like cart like they're really thick down
That's the 25th of me the raw denim stuff that he's talking about that he gets it
Oh, it feels like Josh is wearing like fucking cardboard like a tacked ox.ed ox. Like they don't, dude. But dude, when they would diesel us?
No, no, no, no.
So, no, but when they break in, bro, in three years,
mm-hmm.
Woo.
But your legs must be so uncomfortable.
No, I don't think where, I only wear the 25 ounce
during the winter.
I have a 16 ounce that I've been breaking in.
I've never mentioned my clothes and ounces.
Never.
But no, but it's, you've seen the black Japanese rod that I'm been breaking in. I've never measured my clothes and ounces. Never.
But no, but it's you've seen the black Japanese raw denim.
Those are my rock and roll pants.
You know those pants.
Yeah.
They got all the doodads on them.
And it's like my dad's stupid to bootbacks.
They got all the slickest slick.
Oh, yeah.
I know it's like shiny sort of.
What is it got like a batting helmet from the 80s?
Or it's tar all over it?
Yeah, pine tar.
These things are covered in pine tar
Josh goes into the fucking chain chop because give me something that feels like
I'll see get it like this shirt to be like squiggly diggily do
Like you make these pants all like hip-hop divin the pop
Thirth thick I would be uncomfortable and raw denim I think sure kids. Yeah, for sure
When I sit it's all rough on my butt's back thighs.
I like the stretchy ones.
Ironheart, the company that I work with,
the Shafer's Garmin Hotel.
Rob's clothes are great.
He dresses like Jason Bamoah and Jeff Goldblum.
Never much of like, he dresses them?
Yeah.
In the morning.
It's the coolest fucking story. Of course it's a super fucking LA douchey. Of course it is. Yeah in the morning. Yeah. It's the coolest fucking story. It's a super fucking LA. Do she
Of course it is. Oh my god. Oh my god. Josh. Yes, it is
This is like hot. Do this is what you look up. This is my home. Yeah, of course. These are your home
I love you Rob do Rob rules man. Oh man. He got in the denim in the funniest story
He was actually a
bank robber. And he was running from the police and he fell into a vat of denim. That's
what he said. Japanese denim. He's unwrapped me. He will take three hours to get him saved.
Oh my life. I'm a break in. Damn. These jeans save me. Raw. They're so great. What do they cost?
What do they cost the pair?
When I got them, they were $395.
Yeah.
It's too waste.
That was out of waste.
I'll have them forever.
They don't rip out in the crotch.
You might have to get in patched,
but they do their great jeans.
I swear by these, man.
What are you gonna patched with?
You take them to like a Japanese person skin.
Crash, you have to ask me a question. like a take him to like a Japanese person skin
Crash your question you're taking to a dojo master. Yeah, what are they use ykk zippers?
What do we got here all button fly? Yeah, button flies no thanks. Yeah, I'm not a fucking gigalo. You're like button fly No, what button you're like an ass with button fly
I don't button fly
It's so cool like three of the buttons all look the same color and then there's always that white one
That's a stable shit. Oh, that is thing thing. This is thing. Yeah, I hope he dates Josh homie's ex wife so he can get assaulted
Oh
Well, you know the guy who you know that you know that you know that your gunner gunner
Box his hat. Yes, he knows the habit that sure in the back of Shaper's Garmin Hotel for years.
I'm glad that you did.
Did I forget to tell you that you know the Habadassure?
Well, I can't, I have never felt more proud
of having Josh Hommie as my favorite artist,
knowing that he assaults whoever works with us.
The Habadassure.
I like that he's going to go fuck.
Josh always does, he goes,
no, it's scuzz, dude, scuzz, the good dude.
And he just keeps calling up I won name always.
Yeah, it's scuzz, it's scuzz. I'veuzz is a good dude. It keeps calling up by one name always. Scuzz is cool.
I've never felt more seen as being a queen of the Stone Age fan than knowing that he
fucking fought the Habitather that works in this store.
It's gotten her.
He doesn't work.
You keep saying Rob, like we all know Rob from we go, Rob's a good.
Now it's not at the same guy that's two different.
Is it Rob Schaefer?
Rob Schaefer.
No, but they Gunner Fox is the hat maker.
Speaking of Josh, Tommy, the Pandora playlist of the week
is my top 10 Queens of the Stone Age songs.
What's number one, can I guess?
I didn't do them in no particular.
I just did my favorite songs.
Like Clockworks in there, though.
For sure.
No, it's a, I see, just.
Yeah, I disappear.
Yeah, he's on there.
It's just go to Pandora type in bonfire space
SXM and you can get my top 10 queens of this.
Christine got they should all over when she puts sublime burritos. I hate that band. I don't like sublime fucking worse band
I hate white reggae. You know that. I took white reggae is the is a is a huge insult to music. I thought I saw police
I like the police, but they're not way reggae anymore
no they're not their pop punk post-punk and they're scat
it's reggae there's reggae in the police
but the police are like to there are more punk they start as a punk band
with reggae influence
mine
that's fucking sublime
think now
you compare sublime to the police yeah I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show.
I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be a cop on the show. I'm going to be'm not now. It's got his custom- Tamagent drums. Japanese drums.
Jacob, you want to take my place?
SDR show?
Yeah, damn.
You get-
I will.
You get the opportunity to interview Stuart Copeland.
It's coming this Friday.
Why don't you do it with Jacob?
He'll be stoked.
Ralph.
With Ralph.
With Ralph.
Do you should, Jacob?
You absolutely should.
So you love our friend.
You love Stuart Copeland, but you do not enjoy Ralph.
You dislike Ralph more than you like Stuart Copeland. that's Ralph getting uh, dude up as ass ready
Blame again with the stop stop stops
Or alph. What happened? I'm gonna pay him for a player rammed a bug plug up his ass.
He was rammed it up his ass and it was play for it first.
And then she just-
But it was assault.
She just goes boom and you see and he goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Okay, loo Oh also some arena I believe coming to my
Possibly possibly she's the most flaky person. That's fine. Let's not count up
But there's a chance you might make an appearance in Tampa. Let's not even say what show. Oh my god. That's this weekend
Big J is gonna be a Tampa improv in O'Cala be me big J is gonna be at the funny
Oh, he was in the funny boom. He's gonna be in Tampa improv this Friday and Saturday and then McGubbies and then uh McGubes McGubbies and Columbus
so ha ha funny bone and Columbus for tickets and other tour dates big J comedy.com is
really the show that is the show is the fucking show Dan Soder is going to be in Tulsa
Oklahoma T cities and DC improv uh this Thursday. No Friday Saturday only this weekend, right?
Just Saturday. Just Saturday. One show. One show in Tulsa Saturday night. Adrian.
Suck on that Tulsa. Adrian, I have a luchi's gonna be open and form you. Nice. Nice.
Nice. We're gonna be at Kane's ballroom and bring that. Great.
I'm gonna tell you I've done that a few times. It's great.
Yeah, I'm very excited. It's big. Please come out.
Daniel being this row. Daniel.
Of course the Hbo's podcast coming soon
Hope that's starting on Monday. Yeah, uh check these guys out. You know these guys Josh Adam
Myers Justin silver I am Justin silver and at Josh Adam Myers on social media fucking do it. We love you guys
Also bonfire merch calm, which gonna have to get into the himbo's game. Yeah, I think I have to get that take over dude
Yeah, we're all done. I'm dude.
Everything's all done.
I'll talk to Rob.
Every shirt hurts.
I'm gonna get a gunner hat.