The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Leave or Shut Up (feat. Ali Siddiq)

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Ali Siddiq fights an audience member and serves his father with divorce papers!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on... What is the SXM? Yeah, Series XM. You can say Series XM if you want. Thank you very much. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the SMX app. Say Series XM.

Series XM! You can listen on the series XM app. Go to seriesXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the bonfire with Big J.O. that apple out of the batter set that's mob deep Bobby What you know about that they were in the fishbowl well have a cool, you don't know what I know all about that man Bob deep Bob deep Bob deep that's what they call me Bob deep Bob deep because I wrote deep with bow deep I got a piece prodigy These prodigy. Where's the piece prodigy? Um, it's me, Robert Kelly. We're hanging out with Houston's finest, Ollie Sedeek, not to be confused with Houston's

foinest, Megan Estelle. Yeah. She's the foinest point. Not to be confused. Did you play the comedy stop when it was there? No, you never did that. No. They I was.

He was in the joint for the. I was out. It just was not It wasn't friendly to me that owner guy was wacky Pete Pete and mom was cool Yeah, and then he took it over and it was like he was a wacky guy He was whacked, but he he did have a head injury Did he actually you didn't see that scar from the back to the front, that does make sense. Somebody cracked him,

but I think with a baseball bat at some point. That's the club that were Patrice, Aiden and a better than me, while I fucked an old lady upstairs while her husband was at a table watching Patrice. We didn't know we were involved in this much of a dilemma when it happened. I've only heard one other,

I witnessed one other person in that time, this comedian, I don't wanna give it, what delay, shit. No. No. Delay, some random white lady gave him head in the green room bathroom while her husband was ever so watching the show while we in Denver and I and I keep I keep looking

at him and I'm like I'm looking at the husband like this like I think he's still interested. I didn't know he that we she came out to the bar where I was done Patrice was on stage and she was just loud and drunk at the bar Turquoise jewelry the whole thing big fake titties are Texas the fucking the tip freckles We love those you'll think that's freckles kids freckles kids freckles. Yeah, she was ridiculous looking But whenever you son block a day in a life good old body and she was like Wanging it at me. So we went upstairs to the office and fucked around. And then at one point, they knocked on the door,

and they were like, hey, Jay, we gotta like square, it wasn't even the right day to square up there. But they were just like, they were kind of giving out. They were kind of giving me an out, I think. I mean, because it was like a little bit. And, or at least give me the chance to be like, oh, I just need, give me a few minutes or whatever. Or just like, oh, okay, I'll be right out.

And I was like, oh, I gotta get it. And so she goes, okay, and she kind of took off. And she said the guy at the table was her friend. She like assured me of that. She couldn't have done it. It was not my husband. And it was her husband. And then Patrice entertained him for like 40 minutes downstairs. She was in there at all. And he just kept sitting there like you said, just staring forward, like trying to pretend it wasn't happening. Probably. And they said he was downstairs fuming looking for her. Then she came down, she was like, I'm sorry,

I was in the back, I guess you like left. And then Patrice came down, he was like, kind of what happened. And I was like, I hooked up with that girl upstairs. And he was like, I ate it in a bed. I was like, guys, I talked to that dude about his wife being out at the bar the whole time. I don't know.

He just made fun of him the whole show for his wife not coming back in to watch the show and just sat there. He didn't plow about you upstairs. If you want to call it that, it was more of a funny situation than a good plow. Not hitting, give her a good plow. I definitely didn't give her a good plow. No. She was old. She put her back against the wall and slid down and then she goes, fuck my face. Hey, hey, come over here and put your dick in my mouth.

Put my husband gets a, then you see her, you see her turquoise jewelry grab her on my weiner and she's like a Native American. Look at which top there. She jerks you off, you come, you like those rings, son? Yeah, take this one, get yourself something. Get yourself something nice This is all oil money. You see take something

My husband owns the railroads He's now says what you're a black friend That club was uh, yeah, that was a weird place. That club was fucking I did two locations to I did the original one And then they ended up on stage wall the wall location. Yeah, to I did the original one and then there was they did a lot of their wall the wall location Yeah, I never did the wall. I did the the original location rib oaks and We he would set up the Xbox like after the shows and we play Xbox and like to fucking six in the morning And he just be a bunch of girls bunch everybody hanging out. It was like a party. It was pretty fucking wild The the concierge in my hotel on Houston one time goes he goes, Oh, you got to me in

Patrice. He goes, Oh, you're you're back here just in time for let out. I was like, what's what's let out? And they go, Oh, it's one of the clubs let out. It's like all clubs down by this thing goes, no, no, go like watch for sure. And he was saying it without saying it because when we went over there and watched every fifth or six girls tits out of her shirt and she's drunken doesn't realize it every so I mean you couldn't look at all of them because they was too fast to move back to the end. The everyone's titty was just out and they were just drunken like I want to ask some food tits out.

It was very very ritty. You're seeing a lot of rits tits out. It was very wild. It was very ritzy. You've seen a lot of rich tits. Yeah, always yeah, was drunk white girls. We're all wearing the same like spaghetti strap. Just like piece of tin foil, like foil, and their tits were just out. Very, he used to be rich. Oh yeah.

They were just very sick too. Sick. Very what? Very fucking rich. Not rich. That's because that area was, that club was in a rich air didn't even Waw raw why is like the other side of revokes

Well money this shit. That's old money. Yeah, like really old rich people And you probably seeing a grand children titties out because that's that was a that was a, the last stop was a good rich, that's the only place, every time I think about this club, that's the only place I've ever rooted for a comic not to do well. The only place. I'm four months in, just started doing stand up and you had to sign a list for the open mic And I had never been there before it was like, I mean, you gotta go do they open my you gotta go do they open mic

so I go and then I'm new to this list thing and I'm just joking and I just come in and I get up and I signed a list. I am 27 on the list The guy in front of me is number 26. And he was like, hey, it's gonna be a lot of comics that's gonna come talk to you, man. About your set once you go up. But you ain't got to listen to him, guys.

I've been doing this 25 years. And I didn't hear nothing else. He said after that, he said he's been doing it 25 years. And if I'm like, yeah, I'm a pretty, I'm a pretty student of comedy. You been doing something 25 years? I probably fucking know who you are. And then he, and I'm sitting there like, man, I hope,

I say, maybe he's one of these guys. There's fucking hysterical. Don't nobody, everybody found the bit and I was like, man, I hope he fucking this horrible Because you've been doing something 25 years and nobody knows you and I'm four months in. I'm like, yeah, it's gonna be a long road He went up and he was a trotious and I was like Yeah, and then I went over at the end like He went up and he was atrocious. And I was like, good. Yeah. And then I went up at the end like, woo, it was a close one.

Those are the guys that would always, when I was younger and getting any headline work that pick you up from the airport and they give you like the story of why they've been doing it 30 years, why they're 20 years older than you and just still there. Like, you know, life happens. Yeah, you know, it was on my way. I knew all the got

They always give you a name. Greg Rogel still up there. The Chips cooney was my favorite whenever when I in the green room. He was opening for me. in the green room. He was opening for me a one-nighter at Rascals, Cherry Hill. And Chips Cooney is an older comic magician sort of thing. It's a character he does. And his set ends with him having, I guess he strips down to like his underwear and it's got a fake like shit stain in the back. It's good bet or whatever. Yeah, it's good. And he does like fake bad comedy or fake bad magic in the beginning and whatever and something in between. But he was asking me, I think I just got off doing

the dates with David Tell and the Insomniac tour when he did last Insomniac tour. And I was in there and he hit a top hat on and he was tying a cape around his neck. And I remember going, and he's like, so would you be up to, I was in there and he hit a top hat on and he was tying a caper at his neck. And I remember going and he's like, so what'd you been up to? I was like, I just did this theater tour opening for a David Tell. And he goes, oh, he goes, Tell us doing theaters. Now he goes, good. He was all the room for that kid.

He's trying to skate. I'm like a caper at his neck to go out there and he's talking to rabbit into his sleeve. It was two shows one night and I remember by the second show, I had a friend in the green room, and I just remember him. I go, yeah, wait, you see how this guy comes off stage. I go, wait, you see this guy comes off stage, and then he comes in holding his tuxedo,

and his shitty underwear, and he comes in, and he goes, hot crowd out there, man, hot crowd. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He's holding his tux, and he's fakes shit underwear on. Damn, man. I remember now these from we first met like officially first ever met Yes, it was in in Deanapolis. Yeah, yeah, Broadway. I was a broad ripple Sam morale You know Sam rail. Yeah

What's crazy is I Don't think Sam orrell even remembers that really? I just did a podcast and he did like we just looking at you like we were straight up like no, I've seen you I think I was doing Marty's or Morty's yeah, for this something like that Then it was a crackers. I was at crackers brought ripple, and I think Sam was at crackers downtown.

That's where we all three was where, we all hung out at the condo for a minute. Yeah, we was at this weird hotel, that was like a condo. Yeah, it was like outside entrance to the hotels, which is always weird. And I remember you had your game with you. Yeah.

He was like the first person I would say, I'm like, yo, he's really, cause that's my ass. Like, man, who's up there? I said, man, it's this kind of rock white guy. Um, big J in the dudes like, does he have his game? You should go play with him.

I'm like, I don't fucking play video games. It's like, it's like, it's me and Syrup in NBA. I was like, yo, you know, you was whipping somebody ass on that game. Like it was a serious, probably the screws to Sam. I was like, yo, you know, who's whipping somebody else on a game? Like it was a serious. Probably put the screws to Sam. I remember you used to travel with your sony, or your Xbox, right?

I did Xbox and PlayStation. I mean, it's one of the time, but like depending on the two years of what I had, yeah, for sure. I told you that I don't, it was Kevin Hart's story, like crushes me when I was like, sure. What did he talk to you now?

No, no, that when I went to his hotel, I was just getting overwhelmed with him, just doing so well. He doesn't plug your special. And also that had turned also. I think a lot of them get overwhelmed with Kevin and let's look at that. That he plugged your special more than Kevin?

Yes. But we were in his room and everything, it was just so grand everything happening And he was showing me all this stuff and I was just kind of getting overwhelmed at once But I'm like I'm like you know where they like calves here, you know I mean like this if I talk to kev like he still kev and I go let me try to find something to connect on And I see the guys in this room were playing Xbox and I go still traveling out your Xbox I see you know, it's like I still travel with mine too I got to bring extra book back every week just to carry the Xbox and he goes oh no

We just send a runner out for one when we land and then we just leave it for housekeeping Just buy it and leave it at the hotel and I'm like buy it and leave it at the hotel and you're done. I'm like, you have to. I'm like, mine's all old and dirty. The shower controllers are sticking. He just leaves a brand new goes, a house keeping. Jay has to travel with a CPAP and an Xbox. He's got two other things to luggage, other than his luggage. Oh, they got a fucking check. Everything for bombs. What is this? So I breathe. You're not pulling out in front of girls. The other thing I do when I don't get girls.

I never I didn't even go to the other end. I would just show up and go to see Vazen by all my shit. I don't know what you're about. Nothing. I brought my Sony one time to Appleton, Wisconsin skyline. And I was opening for Kevin Meeney I was middling really yeah, he would fucking either bomb or crush I mean you would fucking bomb and do the same set. I mean not once not one out to energy different bombing Then he would if he was crushing just at the end. I don't care Silence I don't care and I remember I remember the MC was such a twat. I came into the condo, he took the big room,

like the good room. And I walked in, it was just this little shit room with the twin bed. I was like, hey man, what's up? And he's like, oh, did you want this room? I was like, you mean the fucking bedroom? I was like, yeah, I think I want that. I don't want to be a dick. I came back in after lunch. He's playing my Xbox in his room.

He took the Xbox out of my room. I mean the I put it in his room put it in his room and he was like, oh, I just wanted to play. I thought you wouldn't mind the balls Yeah, dude, it was it was fucking he was a piece of shit. Do you know the fun fact? I went to LA and actually hit Yeah dude, it was fucking, he was a piece of shit. Do you know the fun fact? I was like, He went to LA and actually hit, which bothered me like three years later, he got some heat and I was like, I didn't have any heat at the time,

I was just out there doing a showcase. He's like, he'll man, what's up? He was with like agents and shit and I was like, fuck, fuck, suck up. I thought it was a ticklele. Both you guys this weekend, Berk, so fun I didn't know this by the way. This was news that hit me, Jim Norton, and so did all the same way of not knowing this,

but Berk was like, you know, Eddie Griffin gets all that shit. He's kind of notorious for the Air Force ones, you know? Air Force ones for every show. And he gets that shit for that, he goes, but I mean, he's paying for them. And I was like, ones, you know? Air Force ones for every show. And he gets that ship for that, he goes, but I mean, he's paying for them. And I was like, what do you mean, and he goes, yeah, riders like,

comes out of your money. It's like, you're paying for them, they'll get it for you. They'll have it for you, but you're paying for the stuff. And I was like, really? So I was like, then we just all gave formal apologies to the camera, I was like, Eddie Griffin,

I'm sorry, because I have told that story as an example of What an asshole is so many times and I guess you're paying for it and then so did the same thing and then Jim and then Bert goes also a degree from I'm sorry because I have a feeling this is the first time you're hearing that you're paying for those shoes also you're hearing that you're paying for those shoes also. I'm like, I agree if it might not know he's paying for it. I'm gonna ask for a pair of show. Maybe a pair of night, but not a pair of show

if it's paying for himself if you knew that. He has the largest collection of Air Force ones in the world. I think he leaves them. No, he takes them. He takes them home. It takes them home. He has the largest collection of Air Force ones.

That's a fact. Look it up, Christine. It's not a fact. Can you say it's a fact and you said look it up. He takes him home. It takes him home. He is the largest collection Air Force ones. That's a fact. Look it up, Christine. It's not a fact. Can you say it's a fact? And you said look it up. It's a fact. You're gonna be so stoked if it's a fact. It's a fact.

That's what my sister does to me. When she, when she tried to convince me of something, no. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it't make it a fact Well, then I'll look it up and it should be a fact. I'm like Also the more percentage you say over a hundred percent means you're lying 100,000% It's a hundred million percent Well, I'm a Kelly. I don't think Special my special was good too. I want you to check it out.

That's good as domino effect too. I don't get a chance to say it. When you see it though, it's gonna look like it's a different person. That was probably a hundred pounds heavier. Oh my god, I can't see it. We're in Montreal, you do some, you and y'allni get through some weed to me, I was out of camp. And I was so appreciative. Yeah, you got to get this, where is we?

I don't know where to get this right before it was legal there. And I was like, here's, we have something. Yeah. It's like when you see comics that you respect and you know, you like, you in a foreign place, so you do like, there's the people I need to see right there. Big J and Yamanika. He's like, here's marijuana.

This is such a genuine compliment. This just reminded me though, remember at Moon Tower, they did the living wake of me this year where people must go and say nice things. And they just booked some people who aren't really close friends of mine. And how many times Brad Williams said, wow, he was just a good guy when you see him. You know, it's just, you know, it's gonna be a good time when you see Jay, you see him, you're happy.

You know, it's gonna be fun. You just get to say the same thing. Too many, they booked this better. They booked two people that knew Jay, two people. Like everybody else kind of They both say Sloan white think didn't like me Honestly, thanks Jay's a piece of shit She goes not me you cool, but like the people you do comedy for awful garbage people and they're like, oh, they're the audience like,

huh? I hate our Miss Skank Fast and Houston. It was fucking ball I heard. It was crazy. Yeah. Astro World right down the road, everyone's getting killed. Like, do you believe there's eight deaths in a festival?

It wasn't Skank Fast. What happened? At Moody Dead, Astro World Travis Scott was eight miles away and people got trampled to death. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty wild. It was, it was, it was,

and I'm like, yeah, and I thought it was, I thought it was, when the first came, people got trampled. I'm like, what the fuck, they didn't trample that, like, then it was weird,

because it was kids, man. It's like, that was a weird thing. And I don't know why they blamed it on Travis. It's not fucking like he knew. He's gonna goddamn, he's gonna pork lift in the air. How is he to know that people are fucking being trampled? He's not in charge of crowd control. Not in our place.

That's not his job at the show. My van is here at the concert, though. I told you, I went to Van Halen. It was general admission, I was front row and I was so afraid, I was just getting pushed by thousands of people up against the rail, the wooden rail. And I was just like, I was like, I'm going to die. I kept thinking I was just going to get pushed down and then just stepped on for the whole concert And I was just gonna have to try to breathe and then if I make it, I'll just smell like piss and beer And then go home. It was terrible. I went to the bleachers. I watched the concert by myself. Oh

Yeah, dude get entrampled is the one. I don't even like when I was a kid getting the pig piled after you want a game No, no, sir fucking hate that yeah pig pylon is a fucking terrible tradition You know are you trying to kill me if I just hit the winning shot? I still see it in football. I still see that too much when they come over and like Really get up and like they push their own guy like super hard so he falls back and like rolls back with like guys You guys gonna play again and hopefully five, six plays. It was like relax. Easy.

The big pile is always a concreucution. Congratulations. And you're trying to, the guys on the ground, I can't breathe. Like I think everybody in baseball is gonna die. Every time that happens and he's sliding to the thing, everybody's going, he's dead, he's dead. He's gonna pull a lifeless person from up under the pile we killed that designated hitter

retarded man my son plays the cross and at the end of the cross game they always pig pile on the on the goal he's the goalie every single I got video he runs as soon as the he he's fucking running off his own team run away from his own team and then he starts swinging the stick and anybody between the stick I was just standing there and it would be a bunch of up and a pallet teammates right about a goal

like choice off me that's fucking horrible yeah I wouldn't talk sportsmanship well though myself in any way in Philly for sure when like that was the, when you had to do that forced the handshake at the end. Philly doesn't get no one's a nice thing to each other at all. That's surprising coming from Philly, right? That's shocking.

Philly doesn't have sportsmanship. And you know what's crazy. I have so many bad things about Philly, but some of the nicest comics I've ever met in the game. We got out. All from Philly. some of the nicest comics I've ever met in the game we got out all from Philly name one Chris cotton RP. Oh, all right. Yeah, I can't say anything about Kevin big J. Oh god damn naive Kevin used to be nice. It's like heaven used to be nice until he fucking he rejected my boy Used to be nice until he fucking he rejected my boy. You used to be nice. It's like spanky's cool.

Spanky, yeah. It's like man, I could just, two ray, Matt's two ray. Two ray, two ray, great. Looking great. What's this thing? Dahlmirera. Oh my man's ski quarter.

It's a fucking nice guy. First of all, I want a fucking name. I want ski or spanky Bob Kelly sticks. Well you started in the white circuit That's your fault That's how you get big jail Chris and Boston didn't have a black circuit you for Boston. Yeah, they did yeah No, he didn't so yeah, no, he was in the white circuit Billy me Billy burp. The trees definitely started was in the white circuit in the white belly me belly burp

Patrice definitely started in like the mainstream circuit It started mainstream so no black circuit body who was out of Boston that I and because Boston's a fucking racist city in the world Yeah, I kid you not and when I said there when I said that We're very proud of Sam Jay tried to finish it and I was like Sam if you don't get the fuck out here I was at Boston laughs right yeah two white guys are the host in the feature everybody's having a good time and then I come out and I never forget this in life this white guy was like he's black and he's fucking thought I was Indian or some shit and he did this he did he did this. He did this. Everybody else, he turned his back, right? And I, and like 15 minutes of the show, I'm cool with you turning your back. I'm gonna shit. Then he starts talking to

other people at the table. And they like, Oh, y'all listen to this black guy. And I'm, and I'm just allowing it to happen. And then this lady said, Hey, God, why don't you shut the fuck up? We're trying to hear. And then that was it. And I leaned down and I said, hey, my man. And soon as I said, hey, my man,

my role manager came out. He's like, that they don't know that's the cold. That's gonna be okay. I'm about to fucking do something. I say, hey, my man, two choices. Either leave or shut up. I'll give that much back being turned, believe it, shut up.

What are you gonna do? And when I Reached down my road man tried to get out there, but about time I was pulling them out the chair by his neck And the people that was with him was like pushing him up there like And I was choking this man. I'm like yo, man What the fuck type of person do you think I am and I'm just holding the man on the stage like what's fuck type of person do you think I am? And I'm just holding the man on the stage like what's fucking type of person? You think I'm somebody you can play with.

And when I shoving him back in the day, I'm gonna leave. Well, that's the best thing for you. We could just done that all the time. You could have did that from the rip. So the dude thought that I was being difficult, he's waiting on me because just in the hotel. He's waiting on me when I come out good My old manager's like, hey man listen listen. He tried to talk to the guy. I said no

Don't say nothing to him. Don't say you got none of the guy you choked me. I said so now I'm all stage. What you think gonna happen, sir? And the type of body shot that I delivered to this man. I'm so I ain't wanna hit you in the face. I'm gonna do the, I'm like, cause I already know, I'm gonna train fighter. I already know that I try to tell people from the beginning, hey man, I do this shit like for real. Like I train every morning. And like I'm,

I just gonna go bad. And he, no, that body shot right up there. Did that, he, and you slowly saw him. Tell the whole, he just saw going down. He, he, he looking to be in my eyes like, shit, I hurt, like, like, like, you taught. And you know what's crazy? Three years later, I came back to Boston land.

He came back. And he's not a racist anymore You eat the racist out of him. He's a straight up college. There you go. He was like yo I was being asshole and he gonna say it. He think he I think that I was drunk Yeah, you know, say you were fucking Like, okay, drunk fucking right. Look at his black guy. He came back three years later, he had a black wife, a black guy. He was a bad guy. He was like Gary always when he came.

That was like that documentary. So the red-headed guy who hated Jews and black people. And then he felt bad about seeing himself in the documentary. Now he's like, goes to a black church and like ridiculous. I saw the reverse of that this. I was at PA. I'm trying to think where it was. My name is Western PA. This week was some interesting shows on that bird tour. But one of them went out safe and sound just on stage. He came off and told us that he kept calling, you know, kept acknowledging white people,

like he's like, Puerto Rican guy in a pretty white audience. And he's like, you know, white people, so it finally just like a lady's can't take it anymore. She goes, it's okay to be white. She's like, what? What?

What? What? What? What? I just, you know what that is? I love the, it's interesting that the thought process that I believe she was in. I don't think it's a racist lady.

No. I think that's a lady who is like, just like feels, she feels white guilt a lot. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, she's just like, it's okay. She's not known. We're not all bad. She's a white lady who's been called Karen a lot.

You know what I mean? Everything like a possibly happen. But she thinks she has a good heart and she might even... She had enough. But she had just had enough and she's like, it's not bad just being one. It was such a fucking tour. Not everybody is a racist. I like jogging in Boston.

You like what? jogging in Boston. What is it? I don't understand that. What does that mean? Boston has a very good joggable city. Oh, okay. It's very pretty. It's a very nice joggle bull city. Oh, okay.

It's very pretty. It's a very nice, easy run in Boston. Yeah, I've never done that. But you're the Boston joke? Never joke there, but no, I've never been to Roxbury. Yeah. I used to have to drop a tree soft every night. You know how I learned about Roxbury?

Before I even went there, Eddell of the best fucking groups out of Boston, Edel G and the Bulldogs. You probably don't know who that is. I don't. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was gonna look. They from Boston. I think that was your only rap group.

No, we had to do addition. That's not a rap group. That's kind of rap. It's not even sort of rap. It's not even Ricky, Johnny and Mike. That's fine, B, That's like the man. Because Bobby Brown is good to get to go solo. That man say, I'm from the Berry Rocks Berry, but not the Fruit Y'all.

Don't make me act like well, I'm from because it's Brutal. I love it. The Patrice didn't represent these guys Who's our whole connection of rock story Patrice had a Honda and it was into the Beatles And OG in the bulldoze Boston you've all some freaked out a molested boy bands. That's what you guys pumped out. New addition. Yeah.

Well, no addition didn't get molested. Where did the molesting start? New addition to the block. They didn't get molested. I think that was a in sync Backstreet Boys years. There's more of that. It was after New Cario and him, not Mario. Who was them guys in mature yeah yeah I think in mature probably got

something for sure they were in that one kid play movie they got a shit name yeah dude that was when I produced when a producer started like feeling himself a lot in the 90s they were gonna eventually fart out a bunch of kids dressed like adults. Yeah. Yeah. And some another bad creation. So I was like, I hate that you didn't even notice. I thought I would have produced a philote in the cell.

Do Bellbiff develop? Oh, Michael Bivens brought out that stupid another bad creation. Aisha, which is a bunch of like little boys in, in, in overalls. It was crazy. Everyone's wearing airbrush. Shit. They did a good, they did a good job. Um, boys to me. Yeah.

No, no, for sure. Well, you know, there's a whole story behind like something crazy happened. Are they boys to me from Boston? No. No, they're Philly. Oh, yeah, they feel it. But they do.

It's made as which one though. Who's, who's in that one? Cause it's one yay and, um and Sean and the deep voice guy that Something who's Justin in Justin was in Justin was in just in So there's boys to men and in sync right? Boys to men was a black oh I'm a boss. I don't jog I'm glad you punched my uncle though.

Straighten out his uncle. Bill Burr is Boston. Patrice is Boston. New Boston, Sam J. Boston. No, killer comedy. Like Gary Goldman, Farms, Farms, Farms Lee, and Boston. Boston. Boston. Joe Liss.

Bob Marley's Boston. You know, Bar Marley? Not that Bob Marley. Oh you know Bar Marley not that part moral oh Okay, no, he's a Jamaica. It's so great. No, I'm trying to look at that. Well, Marley. He went to Jamaica. He's from Boston You know I'm not doing it Bobby Bobby Funt facts. Bobby Funt facts. Was Michael Jackson using that? This man talking to me. I said this thing, I never forget this in my life.

She said, just up to my with the most honest face. Nobody ever talks about it, Michael Jackson from Houston. And I was like, what? Michael Jackson's not from Houston. Yes he is. I grew up down the street from Michael Jackson. Did you grow up on 2100 Jackson Street? And I'm like, he's not from Houston.

Like, I mean, Freddie Jackson is not even from Houston. What you talking about? Is there any Jackson from Houston? I'm like, like, please put on 2100 Jackson Street. That's all. 2100 Jackson Street

We were going through on Legion of Skanks last night we played that game the tell like wacky stories about your dad Like and and and no see see what we can tell who's most of the story. Tell them about this, tell them about this. Yeah, we play a fun game where everyone puts three bad stories about their dad. And Mother's Day we did it for moms. And then our producer randomly reads them.

And you have to guess. And you have to guess. By the story who's dad. And you have to guess. By the story who's parent it was, yeah. And we figured when we did the mother thing, every story that had somebody some mother fucking somebody who's Jay's or mom

I mean not I don't know his mom just banned cops guys with flashlights guys who punch windows in my mom had me on for sure do you understand this is a great thing do you understand that this is this is a very white thing yes like this yeah, this is very white like my mom's or you think Do you understand the type of fight? I'm talking with friends like you know, you're gonna be brother You could be Tiki barber and You would have said it would have been all type of shit being moved I did tell all the stories of my mom banging people all the stories of my mom banging people. I heard you say it and did I just erase it out my mind.

Because like, these are his words, not mine. But these were even if it's his words. I'm like, I'm never repeating them. It is very white thing. It's very white thing. But we did the fathers yesterday and mine for my dad's were like the Amanda Lies, my dad told me when I was young and I don't mean Lies like I'm coming to pick you up Lies Those were there. I mean the Lies of like he told me he got kicked out of the Navy

For smoking weed with David Bowie and Italy Tell me he played pool against Minnesota fats. I mean he really just like He would just go for it He always kicked the guys ass. I think game self is tattoo on his arm. I don't think any of these things are real My dad didn't talk to me. I'd rather take that Than the lies Man my day my day was a like a maniac. My, my, my, my wisdom teeth were coming in and my dad instead of just taking me to the

dentist and see what was going on, he put cocaine on my wisdom teeth. I'm just a great guy. This is a great way. You know, it's funny when the time when he was younger, as a chance that that was actually what they would do at the hospital Okay, no, you think they know Are your parents still together? Oh, no, I Let me see my my mom and my dad separated. I was probably

Three then they were all for no one to about I was probably six and so my mom called me I'll never get it. I'm 43. I'm 43 years old. My mom called me say I need you to do me a favor I'll say what I come by the house So I need you to hands me this vanilla envelope And I hate need you to take these papers and get them signed by your father So I'm going to ain't it's some fucking divorce paper. You served your father? Yeah, I'm like, I said, are y'all still together? Like, he's like, it's like, I'm legally fucking still married to him.

And I want him off my books. Like, if he died, I would have to be responsible for him. So I want him off my book. I'm like, so I go from Houston, I drive Louisiana to get my father. I just tell him I'm coming to see him. I'll tell him why. I just say, hey, I'm coming out there to see he excited. I get out there.

I said, hey, been having a good time with you playing chess. And I'll listen to even though, but I'm getting ready to go. And I need you to sign these papers And he looked at the papers the world's papers. He said your mama's still on this shit Man, y'all need to be the boss. Why's he trying to leave me now? I mean you have a whole extra person that lives in your house. Yo, man. I thought y'all were always separate. My father reluctantly signs the papers. He signed the papers and goes slide me. This I did.

He signed him and said, well, tell her we're finished. I'm like, you should be done. I served my father. You're my make you do your right. and your parents made you fuck over the sub guy The poor sandwich What you do to the sandwich man he made him go down and not tip him yeah You know do the dirty work. I don't know if all he was in here for that part yet my stepfather We were broke and so we would fish out change sometimes from the

stepfather we were broke and so we would fish out change sometimes from the sofa. Very familiar. And then my stepfather was smart so he would get exact change for whatever he ordered and then send me a little fat eight year old or ten year old down to go get it because they won't be mad. I just never understood why they were just never nice to me the drivers because they knew. After a while they knew like this is the place it's going to pay in change Pay and change and we're gonna be zero tip and it would be like to the penny Yeah, a little fat kid came down with change. There's no yet

It looks like pocket it looks a also they really set me up for failure that I bet the news back at Alpha's pizza house Was fat kid alone keeps ordering foodie price my parents were asleep And I just come down while I'm gonna goes don't tell anybody I ordered a whole pizza for myself. Did you have a change inside this shirt? Yo, do you understand how related we are? Like this is just in his horrible. This is when you have the shirt pocket. Yeah. There's so much change. You have to put his hands out and you go like that. You'll put your hands in it and

then I'm gonna lift the shirt. Did you ever have a to butter? Like we as a part of the barter system. My mom, on the phone. My mom would come in there and say, hey take this cup of rice. I brought the on my own rice. Where am I taking a cup of rice? Miss Shirley needs a cup of rice. Go down there and she's gonna send you back three slices of cheese and some sugar. I'm like, training, training goods. And I would walk, because we lived, any time we had to go, I had to walk past the park. And any time somebody would see me with a cup,

it was like, uh-oh, he's buttering again. That's it. That's it. That's it. The old West. That is the old West. That is the old West. Well, my poor mother, as Bobby puts it,

had to fuck a couple of cops. I'm sorry. Had to bang a couple of cops to keep our health safe because she was a single mother I'll tell you what we were never robbed Here's some magic beans I'm gonna miss you, at least. Patrick, please. Just walkin' with a cup. Bring a cup of rice. A cup of rice. Rice for two slices of bread, please.

It's like Burning Man. He's like, oh, you're a butter, fucking Jamal. I'm headed to your house. They're bartering. I'm trying to get my, I'm trying to get ingredients from my birthday cake. I'll ease outside. I think he's got vegetables for something

some protein he wants from us. I'll ease gotta buck it a bucket a cat and some Dowery let him have the TV in the living room Out there he's taking he's coming to get her and he's strange to people now that I mean like you probably had this too Bobby for it but I mean I I didn't experience cable TV like in my own house. It's like 17. Like it was all those things were like, I didn't get dial. I was all those jokes I get. I was the antenna for the TV. You know, you get like, hold it. Don't move. How many times I shocked myself with a butter knife, with a

butter knife trying to do the screws on the back with the little metal hook. And I was just going to zap you. It was so dangerous. We never had that. We had 13 of us living in a house. We had shit. But then my mom, her the stepdad, the one that used to fuck me up, he had money. So she met him. We were all living in this, we had my sister and my mother were sleeping on the floor next to a weight bench. Yeah. And he came in and he had money.

Yeah. So we got... Being right into a nice house. We got... Dude, we got to do this nice apartment. I had my own room, my own toy box, my sister had her room and every... I mean, I had my own TV in my room. I mean, I remember there was a toy box and I opened it up and there was toys in it and

I'm talking. I'm going to be the shudder you but he'd keep your lace up and stuff. Well what happened was I didn't this was all on the cover after They got married and then I went out one night from a nap I was on my bean bag in front of my little black and white in my room and I heard like noise and I went in the other room and my Mother's just crying my sisters noise and I went in the other room and my mother's just crying. My sister's making a phone call. He took the phone and smashed her over the head with it. Not that it's funny, but he hit her with it. And then my mom grabbed me and her and into her room.

My sister's room and then he kicked the door down and I slammed against the wall and pretended like I was knocked out because I was only in the kindergarten And he came in and he looked at me and said you're not hurt get the fuck up you pussy So that was the first like we went from damn. I'll take a whore mom over that It we went from like oh my god. This guy's Prince Charming. I have everything. I ever wanted to hold this That's like this always life Walter Richardson. Yeah, and that was mine. That was mine.

That was mine. Fucking stepfather who was, he led good. He led in good and then all of a sudden, the shit went crazy. I never forget the day that my mom ran into my room. She didn't have on any clothes. And I remember like she grabbed me and put me over her and I remember him saying you lucky you ain't no just sons I beat the shit out you and I remember tell me you I was seven Gee, and I remember when he the that when he hit me and

I called my I called my dad I called my dad I called my dad and my dad came over and beat the shit out of him and somehow They got my dad out the house and the door was locked and I don't know how my father knew that I was by that door And I just heard him say hey son Unlocked the door and I just heard him say, hey son, unlock the door. And I said, what? Because I didn't even know he knew I was on it. He said, hey, unlock the door. And I unlocked the door and my dad came back in and whooping the shit out my cell dad again. My mom still stayed with him years after that. He fucking hated me. Like he, this, you gotta ask Pete that first of all.

This type of brutal shit that he was doing. Yeah, he knows. Like just a fucking brutal ass person. Like I don't even understand the, the, the, the, the, like what the, like why are you beating on me? Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Like I'm not yours. And he would mentally assault my sister.

He meant to assault my sister called her fat stupid. Call her ugly. Like this stuff, fuck. I tell you something very bizarre. I'm like, I looked out that I said, my stepfather's great, like my one and only stepfather. My second was great. Yeah, my second was great too.

Yeah, my stepfather's great, still with my mom and everything, all my siblings, all of my mom's. All of my mom's, too. My mom's, too. Yeah, it's really, he was great, but my dad. All of my mom's mom's too. You know, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really

, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's , it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, really, it's, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really stepfather's three kids are my siblings, but I'm I'm the only one of my mom and to fuck I'm stone and forgot how I was saying

I'm about Kathy. Yeah, my first step mother My first step mother her sons she had two twins and they were like third Maybe like 13 and 15 and maybe they were like I knew them since they were maybe like 10 or something, but they were definitely They were older than me like substantially, but he I remember he gave them like like like like like wooden spoon spankings and but like when I be there and like he wouldn't I wouldn't even think he was gonna do it He never did and I never thought he was going to because I was like I don't even think he was gonna do it. He never did, and I never thought he was going to, because I was like, I don't even know the guy that well. You know what I mean?

So like, I remember him going upstairs to like, and hearing the noise of him like, zipping the air, like, you know, like, get over the knee, and he's gonna, I spank him with a spoon. I'm like, I got pants wild. I got punched in the face. This dude, like, this guy hit me. Like, I remember fifth grade punched me right in the fucking

I saw it, and I was, Step up. My stats, the first one, not the second one. This guy hit me. Like, I remember fifth grade punched me right in the fucking eye socket. And I was like, my, my, that's the first one, not the second one. But then my mom finally divorced. She's like, it's done. We're out. I think it was five years we did all this shit. We finally leaving. I remember the house was packed up.

We had this really nice house. And he packed it up and he came, he didn't want it to go. And he bought a tarry when it first came out. When it was like, you forgive everything. You know, me and my sister were playing. She forgave it all. Me and my sister were playing adventure. My mom came on, we were like, mom, maybe you should stay.

And we went, what the fuck? And she took you fucking. There's me and my sister were like, pitfall. It's not that bad. I mean, he hits just once in a while. Yeah, once in a while. Have you played pitfall? Yeah. Yeah.

It was, yeah. He had, uh, Tari had the, the joystick and didn't have the joint with the turn. This had just the stick with the, with the button. With the button. So first one, 2600. Yeah. It was a, and they also had another joint that you get turned. That was 700, 800.

Oh, that's that she was crazy. But my, um, my second stepfather Ron gett was, he was perfect. Ron was, Ron was cool. My second one Larry was awesome. He passed away a few years ago, but he was Italian. He cooked. He was the shit. I remember with my mom before her and my step back out back together because my step back moved back from Tampa to get back with my mom, right? And my mom in the course of some, I think she ran into Walter and he was talking like, oh, your son is doing so well.

And I was like to reconnect with him and she told me. And I was like, yeah, well, yeah, where he want to connect that. And while my mom was looking at me, like, no, I'm not going to go out. No, she knows she's like, she not want to like, yeah, tell me where he said, I just want to meet me. I chased my set my stepdad to evil one. I snapped. The little last times he ever fuckered me, I snapped, and I went after him with a knife.

And he was like, you wanna fuck my mom grabbed me. She's like, you wanna stab me, good stab me. And I just went without hesitation to stab him. And he pulled his hand out and said, what the fuck? And then I grabbed a hatchet. Like, he was a fucking piece of shit, but that's where I kinda figured it out. It was mental. My stepfather, but that's where I kind of figured it out. It was mental.

My step-op, his father, my step-op's father was like wildly abusive. And it's real. I've never understood like walking away from like family, he's never had something that abusive in family, thank God. But like my step-op like, he was even thinking his father, he's found out a couple of months ago. He's like, oh yeah, I think I got a thing that said my dad died. And you're like, you can go to the funeral.

He's like, no. I don't even know where he goes. The guy used to time me up in a basement and like kick the shit out of me. He's like, I'm fucked up, but. I'm like, but it's anything about being your father. He's like, no, I don't love him. I don't know it.

You fucked my mom. What are you gonna do? I'm, we gotta take a break. Show us essentially over everybody. Shows essentially over, everybody. Ali Sadiq, thank you so much. It's new special Domino Effect 2 available right now on YouTube. You can see Ali Sadiq live with dates coming up in Oklahoma, Ontario, California. And I love that Ontario Clubs.

One of my favorites. It is. It's really, it's never been now. It seems like it's LA. It's only 45 minutes from LA. But it goes completely blue collar again. So it's LA. It's only 45 minutes from LA, but it's goes completely blue collar again So it's like good There's one of my favorites. I love it and clean up the high jumps Trump people

No, I don't think that's what it is retickets and all their tour dates visit allysa.deak Alisiddiq.com And we will be right back to say goodbye everybody. Well Bobby's got to leave. I gotta go. He's got to go, but I'll say goodbye. If there's time, even, who knows? He said he was leaving early. I was just so over, now.

Now, basically. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.

I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink. a glass stick.