The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Lord Legend Rich Vos

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

The Legend Rich Vos tells stories of childhood rumbles while growing up in New Jersey Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply...: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@RichVos www.RichVos.com #CrackleCrackle

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. You can go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special three month offer. The Bonfire! the joining the show that's the voice of rich boss who's going to be at the Atlantic City comedy club.com. You're somewhere. Christina, I hope you're better at real estate than you are putting plugs down the right way. No, it's not her fault. Why is it not her?
Starting point is 00:00:50 You're a boy with it. You're a boy with it. Why can't you get tickets that Rich must have? You know what? I'll say what? Put on the cheese so high song. I gotta be honest with her. Rich, your website should sell your tickets.
Starting point is 00:01:01 What's going on? First of all, are you selling real estate now, Christine? Oh, yeah, that was the whole first hour, buddy. I'm not selling real estate. I'd like to start investing in real estate eventually. Rich, if you got a couple bucks, dude, she's ready to buy a building right now. She's telling me to flip it over and turn it and slap it up, flip it, rub it down. Real estate agents put their headshots on park benches. You know, sleep on park benches, homeless people. Okay. Yeah, that's a good point. Rich would be passing it around a tip bucket. If you want to throw some money in for for Christine's equity, you ever
Starting point is 00:01:39 get some capital for? Oh, yeah. What is for what? Capital for what? I'll be honest with you. We know she knows even less than we know, but she's wants us to know that if that she's it will come second nature to her to do a real estate. It's just in there because her uncle did it and she was at the office once. Why don't we throw money together for, uh, for, uh, J for your COVID cough or whatever the fuck you're dying from That's from my respirator actually rich. Oh, yeah, listen rich He can only be off the machine for three hours a day So we try to make it look natural. Please don't make me laugh too hard. I only have a few hours in me If he's easy, he's running out
Starting point is 00:02:21 Jay and I'm not trashy. Why you dress like fucking Woody from Toy Story? What the fuck? That's what's cut. It's his mask. It's cow. It's cowboy. Oh, yeah. It's the Okerson house.
Starting point is 00:02:33 But if I, I'd rather just pull it down because if I keep taking off, it's going to mess up my wacky hair. Oh, if you go outside, that's what you lift out. You wear that as the mask. Yeah. Oh, I, I don't know. You and Christine were playing like some fucking Roy Rogers or Will Rogers, I don't know. Will Rogers. Well, I don't know. Whatever's a cowboy in it. Roy Rogers was the cowboy. No, that was
Starting point is 00:02:56 the fucking roast beef restaurant. Right, but it was also an old West character. Roy Rogers, right? Jacob? Yeah, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. Yeah, I don't. Oh, and Will Rogers was like the comic type guy. The Will Rogers Institute I know, but I don't know who will Rogers is necessarily. Guys, I want to completely change the subject and talk about Jimmy Dean. Was he ever Dean was he ever? What did he just make? What did he just make? John I mean the Zigg or a hillbilly.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Guys, I don't mean the Zigg when you're zagging, but let's talk about the King of Sanwich meets Jimmy Dean. Whose famous uncle was James Dean, the actor? Really? That sexy motherfucker gave birth to the or was the uncle of the breakfast king no are you fucking kidding me I just have nothing to say so I threw that out rich we're just talking about a story in Georgia where a substitute teacher recorded herself masturbating in a classroom full of second graders and then got caught, hand in the video out.
Starting point is 00:04:06 And, no, no, come on. Sort of got it through real thing, Christine, bring it up. I can't believe this would be. She filmed herself, she filmed herself, Jill in in class, and then started circulating the video herself. But what? Rich, if you're a parent of one of those kids,
Starting point is 00:04:23 do you watch the video? Us. She already looks like that's a mug shot. I mean, that's really. She looks like young Paula Bell. Oh, my house. I said, she looks like a hospital student, you know, comic. This is always, she looks like one of those in the in a night movie where they take off their helmet and you're like, you're a better girl this whole time. I'm telling you
Starting point is 00:04:53 no, no boy in that class was upset if you saw that. You went over and giggled with other boys and they were excited. A young girl, either one is more like fucking, it's gonna hit him in the guts more. I mean, does she say what was reading or what got her going? We'd have to assume that it was like I said, a boyfriend or somebody or I said, an only fan's thing.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Yeah, if you lose some. There's no evidence except the fact that she put the video out. And I guess you hear kids in the background, which is. Do you remember when this was like once every five years you would hear a story about a teacher fucking a student and I just saw in the sidebar of that article and there were six different other stories about like this shit got caught on Snapchat this one had an age turn on her and you're like there's just it's always the the dudes just don't get caught or they really have just been scared
Starting point is 00:05:48 out of the game of doing it. Or they make up for themselves. But every time I talk to them, it becomes a 2020 documentary. Every time I meet in an audience, especially a young male teacher, and I ask them what they teach, and if they say ever like fucking high school, I'm just like Tempted fate dude You're just sort of tempted fate like I don't know it seems like so like a public high school like teacher dude who's like young and it's like I don't know man like it's feel you're just sitting yourself up to be in a bad situation
Starting point is 00:06:20 I'm not obviously a not anti-woman with a wife and three kids, but if you're a student, you're more likely to listen to a male teacher than a female. So what's a better way for the female teacher to get your attention? Hello. Hello. Hello. There's a reason beautiful women work in real estate in it. Car dealerships. Say it's that GHA. And Joe Clark, that'd been fun. Joe Clark never thought of that when he walked into Lino on me school. If you just got to start jerking his tick right away, it's hello everybody.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Everybody look at this. Look at that pay attention to me. Christine brings up an article that Fox five talked to one parent named Nicole, whose daughter was in that second grade class. You just said my daughter bitch and moan. Nicole is definitely. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Wait a minute, Jason moan. Jay, hold on. My daughter had been bragging about the substitute saying they were having lots of fun. They played lots of games. Yeah, like watch me make your pencil disappear. She's like, you want to see something fun? And she goes, ah, like that, huh? The mom said she actually knows wrestler who lives in Carlton.
Starting point is 00:07:24 She graduated about the same time. We did oh Weird, it's a girl. He was a high school with it. So it just seems worse Investigators are talking to the students and parents trying to determine exactly what the children may have seen It's one of those It says it's one of these things the kids are going through that they shouldn't the mental anguish that's causing these children and parents That was our drive behind working this case, getting it down quickly, getting it put in jail quickly as possible.
Starting point is 00:07:50 What if the alibi was this girl coming, she goes, no, I've noticed this high school, they used to call her itchy pussy Kathy. So it's like, yeah, you just, it's a misunderstanding what you think you saw there. It's all optics, you guys didn't see it, right? You didn't see the whole thing. I, I, again, if it was my son that was in that class,
Starting point is 00:08:09 I'd be like, he's fine. If it was my daughter, I'd be a little more concerned for sure. I would act concerned no matter what. But at all of those, how do we deal with this meetings? I'm elbowing two or three people who look cool and going, did you see the actual video? Did you see the video? Did I see the video at all? Can I see it going, did you see the actual video? Did you get to the video and all? Can I see it?
Starting point is 00:08:28 What's the big deal? Is it really crazy? Should she be fired? You started to ask those questions to try the video. You don't want to show it to anybody either. You know what, my wife and I were actually laughing about it. We were saying, you probably said that's the video we wouldn't care. Is that a big deal?
Starting point is 00:08:42 Do you mind it? I don't know if I can look on your phone. Would you actually mind sending it to me? So I'm going to show my wife when I get back to the place. So it's a two, two, right? Maybe she was practicing for, you know, maybe she was headed to the high school. It's just getting called up.
Starting point is 00:08:55 She's going to hold up to the major. And she had to get ready. She goes, I got my, she goes, I got my eye on a junior varsity running back. It's going to split me. So I go to the center.. Is this a great case? I'll go ahead. Isn't this a great case also though of like the headlines
Starting point is 00:09:11 big and the retractions. But like if this lady goes and they just say it's like, now like a kid made it up and all the kids just kind of went along. It's one of those like mob mentality things. And she didn't do that and there is no video. It's all misunderstanding. Like there doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Like she'll still never work again because it's always going to be that headline. And then one little article that goes like, you know what? Turns out one of the kids just made it up. So wait a second graders. What do second graders don't know about that? And about well, they're about to learn today, Rich Boss.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Jay, it sounds like the video from what these articles say. It sounds like the video was taken maybe for a boyfriend Maybe for an only fans and it got around the community And then it got to somebody who was like that's my fucking kids classroom And they realize she was there and so I don't think that she was like dittling herself in front of kids I think she was kind of doing it under the rain somebody somebody saw the video. I was like, that's my fucking kid's classroom. Did that not know? I'm not on the tree.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Because the art project's in the back when she's figuring it or something to go. That's my boy's hand turkey. Oh my God, I know that. I know that house and that dog. And I think that's our house. That's our drawing. But I think that's your hand turkey.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Are they made that you didn't get a release for that artwork? Yeah, that's all I did. He held it out. They go first off, my son drew that fireman and he's making money off that. It was posted on your only fans. You're at $15 a month. It's part of the set dressing. It's part of the set dressing.
Starting point is 00:10:40 It does need to be licensed. If you're the boyfriend, if you're her boyfriend and you were just like Debbie Be pretty hot if you send me a video you think you're yourself a work and now this is happening She's like it's national fucking news. He's like, oh baby. It was so hot though It was so you still gotta be encouraging you go babe, but I mean it was really hot regardless I know I know big fucking big price to pay, but babe. Hot.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Bailey, it was hot. Baby, always say you care about teaching and you taught those kids a lot by getting caught. You taught them responsibility. And I think you're overlooking that, dude. But on the other hand, what if she lied to him and said she was working at like, Basque and Rob and she's. You were a substitute teacher. I would have never fucking asked you that or what if it was for her side dick
Starting point is 00:11:32 so she gets caught where you said in that video she's like don't worry about it it was just for research I had no I just want to see if I could I just think I thought myself like can I come in from all these kids? My interest in Shend of Video. Oh I bet she didn't come I bet it's just like a video of her like dittling herself and then it's like real quick. Oh you think she does that. And you think when it comes up, like, when she tries to object or a lawyer goes, shut up, she goes, I didn't even come. I didn't even come.
Starting point is 00:12:10 What the fuck is that? I barely got wet. What is this about? She tells me, yeah, I tell, she tells me, I didn't come here, but nowhere you're going. Yeah. What is it? Who, anybody with any common sense in this world doesn't do anything close to that. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:31 How fucking dumb, what's wrong with you that you can even think that that would be semi-okay? If she would have gone home and masturbated, she would have been like, I almost did it at school. That's how horny I was today. I'm just teaching the, because Mrs. Rosenberg's kids were watching a movie and I almost just did it right there. Do you think it's an all around desensitization to the thing? Like, is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:13:00 It's just like, we're just kind of there because like, I don't think it even crossed she's like, I'm creating porn in front of children. Like probably didn't even cross her mind. Like I told him saying, it's like, I don't think she's like, they can't all just be lunatic sociopath. There's gotta be people that, when you spell it out for them,
Starting point is 00:13:16 like you just did this, this, and then you go, man, huh? Yeah, that's for sure. I know the kids couldn't see me pulling my pussy out, but like my pussy was out in the zone of children. They give her the George W. Bush whisper as they tell her they go, you're filming your pussy in front of my house. You're like, say what? See, it does fuck up kids because when Norton was in second grade, his gym teacher
Starting point is 00:13:41 shot a load in his face. Jesus. Yeah, but yeah, Rich, I was going to say that's the difference in like that's the difference in going to the zoo and fighting a bear. Well, when you said that I was I swear to you, I didn't know and I was like, I can't read that book. No, I'm Amazoning it right now. God damn, took a load of the face. Took a load. Right on the chops at five years old.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I mean, dodgeball. Yeah, I said load. Right on the chops at five years old. I'm just a mean dodgeball. Yeah, I didn't care for second grade. I don't know. If one of my daughters was in that class or my daughter, I would be so pissed and I would have to get free lunch for a marking period. I get that. I get that.
Starting point is 00:14:22 And I like the way you play that. Because honestly, a lot of people probably would go high and try to school the, sue the school district. But you're just getting your kid a free meal every day. No, keep it local. I don't want to see any chocolate milk bills. And don't give her that bullshit that's wrapped in the tin foil. I mean the fresh stuff, the pizza, the tacos. We're talking about the square pizza that straw had if you make one. Top shelf, please. And he's allowed to take home three of those soft oatmeal cookies.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Oh, and I don't mean, you know, if I were your legal counsel, I would also recommend some of those fresh rolls because whatever those rolls are, sweet Jesus. So, Christine, was it you that said you had a fast food in your school? Is that still existed? There's no way that's still a thing, right?
Starting point is 00:15:07 When I was in middle school at high school, you could buy regular school lunch, but then there was also like quarter pounders with cheese and chicken fillets. What the fuck outta here? Yeah, but it wasn't. You couldn't get like variant. Were they pre-made or were they making a chick fillet there?
Starting point is 00:15:23 No, no, no, they were pre-made. I'm not talking about what you're saying. Then what you're saying is different. They got that stuff sent in. I'm talking about. No, no, no, no. That's why the Chick-fil-A was awesome. Because it was a Chick-fil-A show which I was just made earlier.
Starting point is 00:15:36 But there's, but there's high schools that have like a counter for like a fucking talk about, I think. Awesome. When I was in college, we had stuff in the student union. We had a band of expressing to McDonald's. But like in my school, my the kind of may season that in the whole thing. Oh, that's crazy when it adilers.
Starting point is 00:15:57 It's so different, you know, same kind of style, but yeah, I school my we had a school store that you could steal from for weed money. Christina, we lose you. Did you look this up at all? fast-festing in schools. Where do you go? I'm sorry. I was updating something on our Instagram. Yeah, the whole job. You make more money listing or closing.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Yeah, I mean I Wouldn't be surprised if one of those high schools in like California, like Christine went to like an LA high school Has a fucking fast foods, you know, you know, it's it's gotta be we would have like pizza day And I feel like maybe at one point burger King was coming in on Fridays, but I would be coming in the King himself Yeah, he's like hello Nazis and woman beaters and future real estate moguls. It's my the king. I mature crime high school. I'm Burger King.
Starting point is 00:16:57 This is an article from the Wall Street Journal 1997 where it talks about the rise of fast school. It's those when I was in high school, shout out, Smokey Hill. 1997 where it talks about the rise of fast school. I was in high school shout out smokey hill. They got to be done now. 13% a Taco Bell burrito station and Arby's roast beef. Mounts like I would have loved some Arby's roast. I would have wrecked Arby's every day.
Starting point is 00:17:22 And I would have eaten at different tables every day with different groups of friends to be like, yeah, I figured I just was fucking do Arby's today instead of the sale, you know. I'm doing good the rest of the week. I fucking, I used to go to school just to go to the lunchroom like three times a day. We had three lunch periods. I was going out, you know, because I remember I was in English class and I raised my hand and go to the bathroom and I never came back. But did you lead your backpack there or did you take your backpack with you to the bathroom? We didn't have backpacks back then. Oh yeah, that's when you guys carried your books and then you got a belt around it.
Starting point is 00:18:00 And you guys had drag races after high school. I forgot you were walking to school like Baalke Bartokamus. We had an old Jeff Ross bit on the end of our program. But the lunchroom, because you go to different, there was three peers and you would hang with different gangs or group of kids each period, you know, and buy money if you had to to eat that because you know you didn't have enough money for three fucking lunches, but you know, and I had a jukebox in our lunchroom. No, they did it. But jukebox? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, they did. What you gonna write? Yeah, you gonna write L. Hi?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Oh, you had a juke high. Did a two box? What kind of song did they have modern songs in? We go. Okay, I'd like. I'm a lot of a lot of bonge. I'm thinking to build your boom. It was a predominantly black high school, but they always played by David Bowie fame when fame came out.
Starting point is 00:19:02 I always played all the time. And so it's just David Bowie that the rest was. That's a good 70s black walk. It was just one David Bowie song and the rest was Earth Wind and Fire. Every other song. Yeah, the Commodore's or the tape. I can't listen to September again.
Starting point is 00:19:17 But I don't know. Bowie. Yeah, that's crazy. Though would would people, would there be fights in the lunchroom for the jukebox? I don't, you know what? I sort of got, I don't remember that. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I don't think it was like the, you know, any place where, any place where high school kids bottleneck, you always wonder about the fights that happened because that's just, you know, you're mixing a bunch of young teens going through stuff. And it was always one dude you should stand on the end of lunch line bum and money. It was just one dude Kenny and he had like a cross-travel and I and he was sitting there going, oh man, let me, let me get a quarter. Well, are you talking to me? Look, you're focused with your good eye because his eye was just taking off all over the
Starting point is 00:20:00 place. And he would just sit there trying to bum money. But then you had to come up. Yeah, but you should only tip him when his eyes line together. When his eyes lined up, you go there, there, there you go. Now I make a wish, make a wish. Uh, thank you. Dan, did you or Rich, did you grow up at all with any version of hometown or
Starting point is 00:20:19 school or whatever like pride that was like seeping over with the neighborhood pride even or like city like I never gave a shit. If someone just said if someone ever in my whole life was like Philly sucks. I'm like I can so I'm sure there's an experience you could have there that would you say Philly sucks for sure. Yeah, I feel like you're all hometown Philly though. Like you've been New York 20 years
Starting point is 00:20:42 and you're like Philly Philly Philly. So I'm Philly. No, no, no, I'm attached to the sports teams. I'm a fan of the teams and I like the food in the city because it's It's to me. I'm saying I'm not I don't have any investment of heart and to it that if someone else goes Yeah, I hate that place. You say you like I go sure man Absolutely, I don't like Florida. People love Florida. I hate it. I grew up in Plainfield. So Plainfield, hi.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I think the rivalry on Thanksgiving was Plainfield vs. Westfield. Everybody went to that game. But no other thing. I don't think we had bonfires when the city was on fire. I mean, I didn't give a fuck. I got a cardinal hat now, just because I was, you know, wanted to buy something. But you know what I mean? But I do say, I do say where I'm front, like I live in Hillsborough last 15 years, but someone goes where you're from, I go playing field because playing play, I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:41 Parliament, Funko Delix, where from playing field. There was some other, you know, parliament, funk, and deluxe were from playing field. There was some other, you know, I'm still, I still say I'm from Aurora, you know, where Roseanne Barr is from, where Tim Allen is from. Just keep up. I bet two 25 amazing stars. I bet, I bet DJ Lou is from a place when he was younger, where it's like, even if the next place was called north of what your south was
Starting point is 00:22:05 There was still a major like fight problem rivalry. Do you know? I mean if he lived in like you know South Haven they fucking did war with North Haven Yeah, don't even don't even run your mouth about it. I bet Luke. Did you go up with like that kind of little like everyone had way too much pride in there Where they were from locally? got kind of little like everyone had way too much pride in their where they were from locally. Yeah, we used to fight at the dairy queen parking lot in T-neck. You know, we can't hear you. Did they also have good sound? We used to fight at the dairy queen parking lot in T-neck.
Starting point is 00:22:35 It was good to fight. Who'd you fight? Sound snack? Black toast and tolerance. What is now? It was straight up a race rumble. Yeah. No shit.
Starting point is 00:22:49 A total race war. Yeah, we would have gotten dominated. We would have gotten fucking right. We might have had numbers, but they would have fucking, I think, yeah, black people. No, I was in West Philly. There was a time in South Philly where there's a, if you could somehow unite the Irish and the Italians, the whites could have won at a time, but in West Philly
Starting point is 00:23:15 or not a fucking chance, dude. Well, first of all, you guys, but you guys had a lot of bikers in Philly too, though, you know, in playing field, it would have been, you know, the blacks against me. But, you know, it was. Boss, I got one man standing. There's nothing funny. There's nothing funny to the three old men. Me, Lou, and Vos talking about our tough, our neighborhoods were, and we keep dialing back to now, which is the only white person for miles. I was like, there wasn't a ton of me growing up.
Starting point is 00:23:45 It was probably like 70, 30. DJ, like now. And then 80, 20. Valses like, I didn't know why people were real thing. I thought something was wrong with me. And then Witski's like, I had to pop my way home. The whole way. I had to fight through.
Starting point is 00:24:00 I had to fight through the rgues and through the race war. You know, you knock a few blacks out, get yourself a Oreo blizzard. You know what I mean? You have your spring, health, a scalta, you have fight your way through it. You know how to fall on race war? You could just have a chili dog. I was in the gang, the warrior. Yeah, the war. He goes, it was great though though because no one complained about my jacket designs.
Starting point is 00:24:30 I had in fourth grade this kid sunny the leader of the gang. I was the only white dude in the gang and sunny was a month you know but he's still how old was sunny if you were in fourth grade how old was sunny? I don't know 27 Was he was he old enough to make an only fans video while you were playing with your friends? But sunny sunny was a leader to gang and he could fight and his brother hardy could fight Dennis was the second strong and he how's the only way kid and he took my hot wheel car in class It was either hot wheel or a matchbox car and I told the teacher Which was the wrong thing to do I'm telling you a whole gang was chasing me home
Starting point is 00:25:14 Like all you saw was like a white kid running in fucking saddles shoes with this It looked like just like a black cloud chasing them with this, it looked like just like a black cloud chasing them. Some lady stopped them and stopped them from, and the lady probably was like an 18 year old teenager. You know, I'm not sure. But to you, she could have been 18 or 40. Yes, boss. The odds of you outrunning half of a black gang is impossible.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I'm gonna say you definitely fly, I'm saying you flagged the lady down because you were a gas. I'm going to say you'd definitely fly. I'm saying you flagged the lady down because you were gassed. I think you were late. I got to get this lady in between us. I was quite, I'm fast as fuck. I was really good. But this didn't go too far.
Starting point is 00:25:56 This was right from the school to the next apartment building where that lady was, I think. Lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, please help me. She was an older black lady? No, she was in up was she an older black lady No, she was a white lady, but I say lady I she probably could have been 18 or 19 years old, you know I'm in fourth grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you look like the Beatles with a group of kids chasing you She was you know, it's funny you like you're like and those guys stopped chasing me You never fed up because they gang raped and killed that 18 year old You know, god, no, why did I turn them on to her? You never fed up because they gang raped and killed that 18 year old
Starting point is 00:26:28 Oh God, no, why did I turn them on to her? I felt like calling Quinn performing in Boston The the chasing home I'm glad I never got chased home I can't remember a moment where I was chased to my door. That has to be fucking terrifying. I've never been like chased like wherever the run home, but I've definitely had Dave Smith when he got like Rob too. It was like this, when he started telling the story, it takes like such back. But like I've seen like the unfolding of like,
Starting point is 00:27:00 oh, like they, like Dave's own did on me somehow. Did I mean like, yeah, these three guys who seem very unrelated are like definitely like zeroing in to figure out who they were gonna try to like take money from or whatever. And when you see that unfolding, you're really like this is like, I would never outrun anybody,
Starting point is 00:27:20 so I wouldn't waste my time gassing myself, trying the run and then possibly have to fight so I would just be like What are we doing guys? Yeah, nothing I try to big bear them I get big When I was in high school we had two like older scary kids chase us into into the backyard and that was fucking terrifying But do you say that's a funny thing you should do is run over to those situations ago. Ah, it's right. You guys want to fight?
Starting point is 00:27:47 I live for this. You see me scare them away with words like that. Oh, 13 versus one. This is my jam, dude. I'm so happy you guys picked me. My my a keto master told me I shouldn't fight anybody, but it looks like I get to I would never jerked off in front of 14 people. Yeah. Yeah. Man. We were coming to help you in high school and high school
Starting point is 00:28:14 the gangs in high school what fucking ruthless. You're dead adult bodies. You're dealing with yeah. And what part of jerseys is this rich? Plane playing field so we're walking home me and Mickey and this gang these dudes and I knew them all came running up to us and they look at Mickey go oh that motherfucker threw a snowball at me yesterday and was fucking mate and Adam Adam fucking nowhere pow and his nose just started they looked at me and they go don't fuck with him he's knows just starting. They looked at me and they go, don't fuck with him. He's cool. And then bam, just hit Mickey. And this and I can do, because, you know, they just hit him. So hold on. So these kids run up and then they hit Mickey.
Starting point is 00:28:53 And then what if I'm Mickey and you're standing there going, what the fuck Rick? Why did you hit fucking it? I didn't know fucking so well. I'd be so mad at you if I was your friend. That's very terrifying. It's very, very terrifying though when you could tell somebody making up something
Starting point is 00:29:10 to be angry at you. Did I mean? Oh, yo, yo, yo, it's due to called your daddy a pussy. And you're like, no, I didn't. No, I didn't. I assume you didn't have a daddy. You only have to work. You have to go through that once in your life
Starting point is 00:29:24 of a fucking bigger or meaner kid being like, yeah, I heard you were talking shit about me. You're like, I wasn't. What is this? What is happening? I am so scared of you. By the way, that was the answer. If you were, you go, what?
Starting point is 00:29:36 Who said that? I want to kill that person who said that because they're lying. Yeah. I will challenge my entire friendship with that person so this moment doesn't happen. I swear to God Remember when swearing to God was a real thing like I swear to God He wouldn't break the line with the Lord. I was cutting through the school cutting through a school and I she my friend Timmy and
Starting point is 00:29:59 There's like four dudes around them and they're taking his watch or taking his shit, right? And I knew the dudes, but I couldn't walk over there because I had a half a pound of pot in my jacket. So I had to keep going because I couldn't take a chance of them taking my fucking weave or getting caught. So I was looking at me going, yo, help. And I'm like, huh. And I had a walk away. Not today, dude. Oh my God. If you're that friend, you're like, what the fuck, Rich?
Starting point is 00:30:30 And then you have to be like, you want some free weed? And you're like, huh, yeah. You should just say, in the air night, I feel Collins. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- I did not end to hand. Oh my God, you're getting beat up like that watching your friend. Oh, look, he's gonna help me. Where is he going? I'm here though. Fuck is he going? In Ohio, I stood up to a bunch of people that were following me home and I thought that
Starting point is 00:30:58 I'd befriended one guy. I've told this before. It was gigantic black dude named Kenny. He was one friend I made there just Organically he lived like a couple doors over from me. Yeah a couple houses over from where my dad lived and Just huge. I mean like at this point probably six seven six eight But like fat but like big all around and walked around carrying a big boom box But I and when the guys are following me home. I was talking to him. He's like, yeah, it sucks, man. And I just blindly was like, well, I'll stand up to him because like this giant dude's here with me and he's like, got my back. And when I turn around, he just
Starting point is 00:31:33 never stopped walking. He just kept going. He just kept walking. And I turned around and then he had to fight Marcus that day. Oh, man. I brought this up on our podcast. I think it Bonnie trashed me, but I was in my school all the way up to at least junior high, Brian Jenkins was the Duke of the school. Like, why was he the toughest? Was he just the toughest kid? He was to do he was the toughest.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Like, was he the afternoon drive DJ? It's the Duke of the school You're listening to the toughest kid in high school But I knew Brian since like they're great. So I was his boy, you know, but he was the Duke like and On the west end of town at the other junior high they had a Duke there, you know, whatever, you know But arch did they call themselves dukes? Did you assign the Duke? Well, his nickname was tank and he was the Duke. Everybody knew it. You knew.
Starting point is 00:32:33 You knew you do that. Duke, you know, you do that. You go skip fall in line. I'm the Duke and I go, well, that's funny because I'm the Lord. I'm the Lord of the school That's the way I'm gonna go take a Duke In six grade and Carlos Carlos was the Duke of Of Emerson school, so this dude from North York. I just you see me spit
Starting point is 00:33:03 So this dude from North York, I just you see me spit I'm laughing at the crazy royal to scale you guys had So Lonnie Lonnie moved in from North, but he they knew he could fight so we were in the bathroom and Carlos and Lonnie had a, and me and Alvin got to sit up and watch the whole fight between Carlos to Duke and Lonnie. Like, I'm some way to just watching these two and this was a real knockout fight in the bathroom. Carlos won, but he gave Lonnie saying, you know what? You're all right with me. Damn, so wait, you watched this Superfight. Duke versus Duke. You saw the Duke and Duke Superfight.
Starting point is 00:33:51 You were one of two people. I didn't Carlos and Lonnie, man. And if you're from Plaint, and if I said their last names, everybody would know by age, would know who they are. They were tough. They were tough. They were tough. Oh, the dukes. I remember the day they did a They were tough. Those guys were tough as far. Oh, the dukes. I remember the day they did, they did a 50 pace duel. When I was lonely, it is high.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I call this. I challenge you for your duke. Loser, loser leaves double duke. Left side break. You look like Bonnie and my kids for Christmas. I have it. I bought everybody a one square foot piece of property in Scotland. So my wife and my daughters are ladies and I'm a Lord. Because we all have one square foot.
Starting point is 00:34:37 We had the certificate that, you know, they're ladies and I'm a Lord. Oh, you know, because I own a foot by a foot property in Scotland. So now and I like to be addressed Lord legend Well, my lord, we need to take a break real quick. You're gonna get back on the road rich If we got to get you back on the road. I don't like hearing that at all. Yeah, I got knighted by the internet Make sure you check out rich boss at the Atlantic City Comedy Club Wait, is this one of those things where we have to come back and then say goodbye? That's one of those things again. Alright so then we'll say goodbye to Rich.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Rich. Rich is a fucking legend and hilarious. He's gonna be at the Atlantic City Comedy Club this Friday and Saturday April 9th and 10th. Get tickets at Atlantic City Comedy Club all spelled out at Lanix City comedy club dot com uh... go see him it's a fucking good time and uh... dan soder uh... we'll be right back we'll do our plush at the end every but rich we love you thanks for stopping in dude thank you red
Starting point is 00:35:37 thank you guys you guys are great man it's the bottom That was... You've been listening to... SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you

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