The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Maid In Manhattan
Episode Date: May 3, 2023Andy Fiori watches the family fight as Jay is upset with Christine's homemaking skills. ...
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Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly.
And it's Big J. Okreson.
We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast.
Hey, guess what?
For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app.
Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer.
And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. O'Cerson and Robert Kelly. Killing Tom. Against all odds.
That's the worst. Against all odds.
Oh my God, I hate you.
Jo-M-B. Probably MVP of the league.
Sidelined with an LCL sprain. A little worse than they thought.
He's gonna have to at least sit game one. I say now, sit on game two.
Because we have proved as a team.
Can I get everyone's looking down here,
are you looking me for a second?
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
One, two.
DJ Liu, eyes over here please.
Black Liu, if you would mind, heads up.
Come on.
When a team comes together.
Oh God, he's doing fingers.
His fingers are touching.
You see, 12 guys that put them to work together as a team.
It's not about one guy who's probably going to be an MVP.
These other guys, these kids, they dug down deep and they went up to the hostile waters
of Boston where it's just wretched, freckly peep.
Hey, hey, hey.
Just horrible.
Just a awful, just a gruffest woman.
What are you talking about?
My wife is from Boston.
Just a nut scratch and broad.
On Jesus Christ.
No, not dawn, but the rest of those pigs.
My mom is from Boston.
No, but not her.
My aunt is from Boston.
Okay, she is a bit of a mess.
She is a nut scratcher. She's a real nut scratcher. Peggy is a nut scratcher. Yeah, I feel like
Peg knows how to definitely fix or like resurface her own cabinets and stuff.
Peg has a great. Peg, Peg's in the game. What a game. Did you watch it all, Bobby?
No, I didn't because I'll tell you why. You're a little overbast. No, I was still,
I was a little reeling from the bronze. Ooh, they got knocked out right.
Dude, they got knocked out 59 seconds left in the game went to.
Yeah, I will say as a fan of the opposing team in the Sixers Celtic series,
I will say, but also as a human being felt the pain because they announced it on TNT.
I didn't realize that the night before was a home game seven in the NHL playoffs and they lost but they won so they're not they won the most games ever
Really set a regular season record they set a regular season record really yeah the most games ever one
They lost like three games in the year really? I mean not fast. That's not no they lost like 10
Yeah, like 12 crazy didn't Jordan have like a four-law season once. It's up. Yeah, I mean not that that's not no they lost like 10. Yeah like 12 crazy Did Jordan have like a four-law season once? It's up. Yeah, I mean
It's like what the Patriots went 18 to no and then lost yeah, they're super Jones like 72 and 10
That'd be so that was crushing. I mean if they won that Larry Zonka was so thrilled about that
72 dolphins all those stupid e-troner. They were trying to do voodoo on the field
Finish shitty to do voodoo on the field Fuck them finish shitty to do that actually
Why is it tough bronze loss? I was watching. I mean it was so yes
So they lost Jacob the Bruins lost game seven so eliminated from the playoffs and the next night
You're like this is probably gonna be a good night because the Celtics are full strength and the sixers are losing missing there
the MVP the league probably, if not arguably,
and they won.
So it's like if you came,
the big sports fan went to both of those games,
and you're like, damn dude, that was a lot of wasted money.
I felt that pain in some of the faces.
I was like, fuck dude.
I bet a lot of these people were here for both.
Boston's a great sports town, so they're in.
That's true.
And Philly is too, and I'll bet you the Celtic speed Philadelphia. What's the bet?
All around you diving, you're diving all in. We just stole one at home. We have home field
of advantage now. I say we win. All right. We have to bet something. I bet that if you lose,
you have to kiss my dead toenail. Oh, I might throw up. No, wait a minute, wait a minute, the right one.
Is that the worst?
I got a dead toenail.
Huh?
Why I have a dead toenail?
Because they die.
And they just stay?
None of them stays forever, kid.
No, I'm sorry, me.
And why aren't they gone?
It's not finite.
Enjoy your youth, son.
Look around.
Those trees are not going to be there forever.
Andy, things die.
Why?
Because I was hanging out in the New York sports club in the shower with a flip-flop. And I touched that fucking AIDS water on the
bottom they never cleaned out. And I got a fungus back in 2002. And I don't know.
There are solutions for this, I believe.
Yeah, but the thing, here's the options. And I talked to Dr. Steve. You know Dr. Steve.
Is it a needle under your nail? I won't take that. No, me neither.
You have to either take this drug that causes
like liver and kidney damage in some people.
Well, you got a good run.
I'm sexy body, I'm almost back.
I'm gonna give you a couple of years of this.
If I get fat again, I'm taking the drug.
If I ever get in the way I'm taking
this kidney, he's the tonal drug.
You know, my nails are gonna be nice. Or, and I didn't know this, I could just take the tone-out off.
Right, forever.
Yeah, have them go in, and they, what they do.
Jay, look at me, take your hands off your face.
Jay, Jay, stop covering your ears.
Jay, look at me.
Big boy Jay, big boy Jay.
Big boy Jay.
Need you to be a big guy.
Come on, big guy.
You should be a big boy. Take a breath Jay. I don't think Bobby knows Bobby doesn't know my like
So I don't know I have I have a very weird thing to tell you
Yeah, I can't like that should either dude, so you have to take it off now. Here's the thing
It's not it's
All right, so so you can take it off
All right, so you can take it off because you don't need toenails.
Did you know that?
It's gonna be sense, no?
No, you don't need to cut.
All right, Christine, it's understood.
We know what's happening.
Yeah, toenails are only for when we walked around barefoot.
We needed them.
When we were like cavemen and shit,
we needed toenails to protect our toenails.
You've never cut your toenail too short
and then put a sock on?
That is very sensitive skin.
And it's almost like a nerve ending when you take the
Tonyo off it heals and that's just there. It's just it's just a tub nope
It doesn't grow back you take it off and they kill it they I think they take it outside they take it out back
They old yell are it yeah, they all yellow you
They think it is old
yellow. They officially introduced the show yet. No, I'm so excited about the game.
It's the Bobfire everybody. I'm Robert Kelly. I'm Big J. Ocarson and our guest today
joining the show family. You know I'm in love with everybody. It's Mark Face and
the Andy Fiori. Andy Special. Check right available on YouTube right now.
Also follow him at Andy Fior Fury comedy on all socials.
Headlining the Pittsburgh improv, noise.
That's Thursday, May 4th.
June 9th, 10th.
City steam and heart-ford.
Is that brew ha ha?
Yeah, brew ha ha.
It's back, baby.
Is it back?
Was it always gone?
Yeah, they were doing some weird COVID room.
Yeah, and now the old club is back. It's a fun room. I've never played that. I heard it was fun. Yeah, they were doing some weird COVID room. Yeah, the old club is back.
It's a fun room.
I've never played there.
I heard it was fun.
Yeah, it's fun.
They used to have a micro-bury.
Up the street, they had the old school radio station
in a house.
How did you do that?
No, I never did that.
It's a fucking house, and you'd go in,
and it was Connecticut radio.
You broke your ass out of a garage? was actually it was like a living room and they but it was like the whole house was converted into studios and you'd go in and do morning
Radio in this house. I think Stern was there wasn't stern there for a minute
I think sounds right if I know my
Where is it exactly? It's it's outside of Hartford. I think he did do a stop in a hard right right outside of Hartford
And it was in this house and I think that yes, we're afraid I think yeah crazy little cool
He didn't will Fred till later on but Detroit
Right right yeah, right as we bet Fred. Yeah, he was alone up here. Yeah, I mean you do a couple old stern dogs
Students of the game did you hear him riveting with Pitbull today?
He's so famous hours turn,
they got a thrum that he's interviews
that don't make any sense for Howard Stern
to be interviewing.
Today, he talked to a 19 year old influencer girl
and was listening to her.
He was like, I gotta tell ya,
I enjoy watching you put on makeup. He was like, I gotta tell you, I enjoy watching you put on makeup.
She's like, thanks. They got flew me in a private jet to Coachella for guests and then old men went to fuck me and he's like, keep talking. Like, he just is so, keep talking. And then Pitbull was
throwing him wacky. What is Miami stands, what does Pitbull say Miami stands for? Look that up.
That's Mr. Worldwide, baby mr. Worldwide
I know exactly like Howard Stern's like an old Jew who they just crowbar out of his house upstate new York out of his house
Yeah, he was in his house doing the show forever and now he's in Miami
Oh, he's in Miami now. He's having to open the studios, which is great. It's great that he went down
But like it was almost like pit bull
Can you give a conversation I wanted to hear less?
We have a pit bull channel if I'm not wrong
Right, but I don't think it but they can't thrust interviews on Howard. They can't make him like
That's this thing now he does interviews interview
You know back in the game money is a major issue there it is gift saying and how it's like now when you say that
What do you mean exactly like you just was so like I mean some major issue? Oh. Oh, what are you talking about? I don't even know if he talks like that
Sort of he was like yeah, I open up a charter schools for other people
I don't think he talks like that is Mexican
I'll tell you this I open up a school no, so all those fuckers can go to two other fuckers can go to school
That's Carlos Mitzia. We're doing Carlos Mitzia. Hey fucker! Monty is a major issue.
Oh, thank you.
Carlos Mitzia rules.
No, that's not...
No, that's vote for what's in the Pedro.
All right.
That's...
So, we ever talk about the Carlos Mitzia thing?
Did we?
No.
On the show.
Which thing?
You're plugging the...
I think we did, didn't we?
We did. He got a funeral...
It's my guy and he's plugging the...
He's dating that guy. Yeah. that yeah crazy thing I've ever seen on
He's like they say choked on his own tongue anyway come check me out at this day site either this weekend
I mean in front of the funeral home with the funeral home banner in the background at the wake
He's like my friend died he used to buy my kids shitty presents, but that's cool because that's right money inappropriate plugs
He would never he go like super number over here. He's a good friend of mine. I'm gonna miss him a lot
Please I really hope you come to the show tonight because it's going to be the best one ever
I've ever done cuz my friends
I'm getting it to my dead broke friend chavis
Clicked a link right. Right underneath the funeral sign.
There's a link to click to get tickets.
He was a good man, a good father,
and I hope you all want to check my website out
for all future dates.
I mean, you're not exaggerating.
And then when you come out after him,
he was like, it was the best show ever.
And if you like the show, buy my RIP,
Pedro, shirts, I have made up.
Did you still do that?
Did you still the did it?
You still do that can't I want to be it's a picture of Pedro with the praying hands and angel wings?
I also have candles with Pedro's facial
See Pedro is on my merch page
Fuck it crazy. It was pretty wild. You gotta get him credit though. I bet he sold out that night
Probably and it was the best show he's ever done size. Well, I'm just curls. I'm see you doing now I mean he was probably clubs. Yeah, I bet he's out that night. Probably. And it was the best show he's ever done. That size of home, just Carl's been seeing it doing now.
I mean, he was...
Comedy clubs.
Yeah, I bet he's been.
He was MSG for a minute.
Comedy clubs, he's doing comedy clubs.
And he goes in on off nights.
Yeah, yeah.
Just goes in on off nights, Wednesday night, does it?
He's getting a dough.
Second show, third show on Saturday.
He'll just do a, he'll tore it out.
I'd have to guess 80% of his fan base
couldn't give two fucks about the controversy
Absolutely no, they couldn't care. I was not 80. I would say 30
Really a comedy club from fucking an arena
Theater, yeah, you're always true laughing and livin
Really is it what it defeated towards?
He was getting by his one day, at one day the time tour.
Laughing at living, except for my friend Pedro.
He's still here.
Oh, yeah, he's doing like Tommy T.
Bananas.
Look, I mean, dude, he is not.
No, no, no, no, go up.
He's doing bananas and Rutherford.
Yo, that is, that's a room in a hotel.
Ballroom.
It's a ballroom in hotel.
But can I just bat?
Can I just?
The lights are not that high
These lights up here on our ceiling though the lights are low and they shoot
With them as a dancer fucking silhouettes in the wall old
Old bananas. I will stick up for old bananas. That was in a hotel crappy room crappy stage. It was better
All some it was it they made that a comedy area. It was great low ceilings
They packed it out and you would kill and it was great area. It was great, low ceilings, they packed it out,
and you would kill, and it was great.
The sound system was great.
This new one, it's crazy.
It's on like the microphones, Tinney,
like they don't have speakers.
It's a pop-up.
It's like they use the room, I think,
for other things during the week.
They should, of course.
You can do that, and the old one did that too,
but you could get a good sound system
so that the people can actually hear you do the jokes.
Yeah, I mean also I went there after watching
a riveting production of medieval times
across the street, which was great.
We had the black and white night,
but we had to leave, I don't know if we won.
I had high hopes.
He was really good at the rings thing.
They probably archived the winds.
You could probably go to the kitchen.
I wanna go to that so bad the food is
Next to inedible
Not good at all and it's it's fixed menu. You're just getting the thing is a prefix and it's weird and it's like it's yeah
There's a suit. There's a suit. There's definitely a no spoon. You're not supposed to use pencils, right? There's no spoon
No spoon. I believe it's some sort of a
I'm gonna say boiled chicken. Yeah, it's boy. It's like it's
It's not good. We were so bit this was a food look at the food many of you'll times in North Jersey
Was the sixth grade class trip every year and we were so bad as a class they took our trip away
I took it off and I've never gone back. I've never had the experience. I've never
Never gone. No because I'd never got the field trip and I never got one back. I never went either
Let's get we gotta go now. We go as a group
Let's do me that once can we go?
Sure, it's a medieval time, so let's go to eat after here's the feast
That looks good Jay
It's not it's not good that looks good. It looks good, Jay. I don't think he just got to eat.
It's not. It's not good.
That looks good.
It looks salted.
Looks salty and they got chips.
It's not good, guys.
This is...
That looks great, that little rice medley.
Okay, that's it. That's if you say your vegan, which by the way,
you're starting to think I might go with the vegan option.
I like the paleo.
And the gaming is spoon.
The gaming is spoon on this one.
It comes in a pale. I like that. I like a pain the game you a spoon on this one comes in a pale I
Like that I like a I like a pale of food. Yeah, it's my fat days. Yeah
I'm a trough a stuff
They've already gotten the booze
Well, that's your that's your breadwinner. So what do you get with the with the vegan option there? Okay?
Christine the vegan option. Yeah, it's a generous serving of hummus with carrot and celery sticks.
A man, a man.
A man cores featuring three beans stew and fire roasted tomato and brown rice, which I did
not know was available in medieval times.
Fresh fruit and an Italian ice for dessert.
The way they did it.
It really takes you out of the fantasy.
The way they did it back then.
The black knight is gluten free.
They didn't even have Italians over here.
It's not even nice.
It's not even nice.
The vegetarian option includes all of these vegan dishes
along with a side of warm pita bread.
You know, just like the nights used to eat.
They also, you can get a tomato bisque soup, hummus,
Karen celery sticks as well as the main course of roast
the chicken, sweet roasted chicken,
sweet buttered corn and herbs-based potatoes.
That sounds like a great meal.
That sounds really good.
Go up.
It's garbage shit.
That's fabulous.
It's more than unedible.
That chicken.
Can you go up for a second?
The pale looks delicious.
Is that chicken?
Is that what it looks like, Jay?
That chicken right there.
Here's the thing.
Yeah.
A big Mac doesn't look like it looks in the picture either
A big Mac looks phenomenal. I know. I'm explaining you. You just might explain the fingers
This is not good. It's really bad, but they make a good picture of it
But I'm telling you get a side if you look to complete me
Okay, huh? It looks like Michelin star barbecued it look picture
I don't go there Jacob that's all go to medieval times you guys go tell me how fans
Here's the food is that you get four course meal fit for royalty and that little that little potato do you get that potato on the back?
You get some yeah, not a potato. It's garnished beautifully. It's garlic bread. You know like medieval times
That a lot of guinea's back immediately of the times.
Oh, totally.
A lot of garnish.
Excuse me, excuse me sir, where is my garlic bread?
Before I joust, I need my ravioli's and garlic bread.
If we were eating mutton, it would make more sense.
And stuff like that.
Dude, I'm getting chicken.
I'm chicken, this boiled chicken leg.
I'm getting that vegan bucket of shit
And I'm eating that that looks fantastic. I want to explain to you Bobby that I think you're having a perception
Issue here. Yeah, I think you're seeing that because it's got a bucket handle on it, right as way bigger than it is
It does look monstrous, but it's that's not that's not a big pot of stuff
It's a it's a it's an individual.
No, no, that's a good service.
Dude, I look at the spoon.
It's a good serving.
That's a generous portion of actual.
If you do scale it to the spoon, it does look pretty tiny.
It's not big at all.
But you get hummus.
You get hummus.
You do get hummus and celery and carrot sticks.
I'm happy with that.
The way they did.
For the great things.
It's very authentic. Dude, I will. What's great also about the Jersey going to the one in Jersey is
because they are doing like the voices, but it is still Jersey chicks. Yeah.
So it's like the princess really is like, yeah, you guys got to go out there and
lance for it in me or whatever. You're gonna joust. You had a best chance to
guess to suck your fucking cock in the Camaro. Hey, yeah, how else looks like you fucking shit?
In Rutherford.
It really is.
I thought I was saying, like, the back room, when they're all dressed like knights hanging
out afterwards, the actors, they're all two guys in the crew, two knights definitely
have fucked the princess already.
Four, 100% for sure.
They're drinking Yeager bombs.
So old drink. for 100% for sure. Did you make it? Yeager bombs.
So old drink.
And all that.
It looks like a castle outside of the building,
but if a tornado came by, it's just the involves.
That's lit.
That's an old DSW.
No, we want the we need a rather fred one.
I'm in, dude.
Let's do this.
It's do you get to pick where you go today?
You did it shoes for you. They sit you and I think you just are assigned that one really okay
Yeah, what is it black and white and then what maybe it is Linda is is Lynn Hurst next to brother for yeah, yeah
Lindhurst is okay looks fast. I love relax North just get North Jersey Jesus
There on my bus every day, so I know
North Jersey Jesus. I guess they're in my bus every day, so I know.
You guys, by the way, Bobby had a whole crazy story happen this week in New Jersey, and
Lou is such sludge garbage roots that today, a guy completely interrupted Bobby's show,
Drunken.
On the phone.
A lady where Uncle Vinnie is.
Uncle Vinnie's.
As I walked on stage, I looked over, he's checking the devil's cord but he's got the he's got the stats out. He's going through it. Not even
like checking it for a second. He stayed on the phone looking at the highlights. Yeah.
As um, as a mom. As I'm not even I just got on stage. Hi guys. How you doing? It's me.
The guy you paid to see right? He's on his fucking phone, it stayed right. In the same fucking room, where Frisco and Felicia, from TV's young and restless, are
going to be showing up on a Sunday for a photo shoot.
A autograph signing, Bobby was almost attacked by Jersey shit.
That's where Ariel took a beer almost to the head.
Same club.
It's the same club.
Not the club's fault.
Not the club's fault. It's your local
shit. And Lou knows that shit. And Luke and Elm's love he comes up today and he's
making excuses. He goes, maybe the guy was black out, you know, like don't hate him forever.
Dude, you don't understand. When the guy doesn't even know he's on planet Earth, it's not his
fault. Yeah, you know, you know, you gotta keep over with the real like devil's fans. Guys,
we've all been there. Well, you interrupt something. Make with a real like devil's fans guys. We've all been there
Well, you interrupt something make a big scene cause a problem cops get involved. There's a beat
And then you wake up the next day you look that wasn't me guys
Everybody's woken up the next day missing a fingernail of blood and scratch marks on the chest
Tended in Jersey for like 10 years. I argued with a lot of people that were blacked out
I'm just saying you know people that were blacked out and I'm just saying you were also blacked out
Experience get a fuck out of my bar
Fuck me
Fucking bars under either right to a few service anybody
No sure no shoes no service
It just happens to be your black
Sure you'll be me actually your uncle no, I just I know it's Dino's name's me. No, that's right. There's no Vinnie
I don't know why it's called not gonna fuck of any you don't know why no do you yeah?
What is it because time people are stupid
He called Tony Dan's is if Tony Dan's that came by once he doesn't give a shit
I'm in I'm half a time
Some of the work entitled couple goals
What are some of the work entitled? Goppa Goals?
Hahaha.
Gosh, you have bepe?
Yeah.
Stuff, shells, and chuckles.
I like Dino's.
Dino's a be a good name.
Why not Dino?
Because it's not stupid Italian and stuff.
Don't you understand?
It is alcohol.
Those are my people.
It is alcohol.
Oh, they still sell for a car at Walgreens for this very scenario.
So by the way, I've been listening to new dad and getting affiliated with the show.
New dad. Sounded great. I love it.
Thank you, buddy. But I have a couple notes that I wanted to bring up.
Specifically, the Jays never let you still refer to me as ginger.
Where I don't see it. No, you're not ginger.
I know it. It rubs me the wrong way every time because you're putting it out there to the masses.
Strawberry blond. You're strawberry blond. I know it rubs me the wrong way every time because you're putting it out there to the masses strawberry blonde your strawberry blonde the head but the beard but then the thank you
defended you said better as a grey which I really appreciate it. Distinguished grey grey yeah I
would say Sean Connery sexy thank you first of all you're doing a person big fan of your long hair
I know and I've never said I'm really I'm just almost the shortest I've ever been I'll tell you
what a ginger looks like with long hair
Christine you want to remind us all about that ghoul Danny Elfin real quick
Also and now while we're doing that my other one is I really want a call name bad
Yeah, I was very jealous of the call names. Yeah, I mean mark faces. That's oh no. No, you knew we need a newy
Just you know I got one. I got one salt and pepper
Salt and pepper salt and pepper no
PPA I'm not really pepper. Yeah, I guess I know but I just like you had a call sign before anybody
Yeah, that's true. I guess my face is good
It is I know that would fit on a helmet nice. We're gonna try in battle
You only when you know if the call sign is good. We have to try and battle
Jay you ready. Yeah, yeah
Merkface pull pull pull face. Where are you?
Merkface? Merkface
Yeah, jambit it does work and it is violent. Yeah, fit it fit fit. We need you over here fit fit fit
Fit it where you're supposed to be in my tail Fitbit. Fitbit,
fucking rolls. Fitbit roll out. What was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was, what was the hot. We're learning hot Letters clear the jet way. We need the net
Some pepper. Where are you?
I think salt peppers are right
Well, she like let's just see what we're doing
Just on the helmet call sign the letters call sign nanny. That's right
Nanny we have we have
Sky bitch I love looses, but you all seem to reject it. I thought it was dual
dual two names two meanings
trees
Trees now what are we give you talking about?
What was the second?
Smoke and and height.
Smoke rules.
What about just smoke?
That's badass.
I like smoke.
But didn't we give you one?
I would want to be trees.
Because of the height.
You can't be trees bro.
It's got a first wall.
It's got a nice two syllable.
Jacob, you may have the best call name of all of us. You can't choose
it. It's like a nickname. You can't choose your own. Did they forget to the bottom on top
gun of how they got their call names or the religious assigned? Well, I think you just
found out part three. Organs. Yeah, that would be awesome. Organs. Maverick was a maverick awesome or just maverick was a maverick goose had a long neck goose had a long
Yeah, that's yet. Don't you think it was what it was? It was this downfall and he was half Chinese ice man ice like cold drinks
I ice man was a totally flies cold blooded cold blooded, but okay, what you call it?
I
Think that's for sure. I think goose Anthony Edwards is like a long neck. I would assume that's what the the idea
I never just put it in. We can Google it
Keep it on picture Anthony Edwards. He's a super long neck
Shorten neck you would have lived the Edwards long neck. Please. That was his neck after he hit the can
Maybe had a goose neck
Then he had a they called him pigeon neck
I'm gonna fly this I forgot Anthony Edwards is also now black basketball player. Do you know how funny it is that when he plays the combat
Jet you really can't tell if the name works or not
The right he's got a very long neck. He did he had a long neck not anymore though. Thus
Goose
Wow, he's aging rough. He aged quickly rough. Yeah. It was good for a long time.
I mean, his hair went in it like a year. Like, he was in that spy. After this, he was in a spy movie where he played like a college kid who got
know, we came a spy. Remember that? Yeah. He's an ER for years. And they went ER, but when we went to E.R. he's re's balls he was well it is impossible not to look
cool in a bomber jacket mm-hmm well what a white supremacist thing to say say what you will
talk dock martens in a bomber jacket that's bad as that's his call name doc martens doc martens
now that's too long like great best mark how about racist? Oh what's racist? We need you down here
racist get down here
you gotta shoot these nips out of the air
racist
racist we need you to cover smoke
racist where are you?
I'm smoke need your help
smoke need you
well racist smoke need you right now more than ever
you see one with the same smoke
no racist will answer I on a phone call come in
Yeah, that was a creative racist
Smoke
Fitbit we
We can't get a whole racist right now
What do you mean what do you mean? I don't know I know he's out there
He's just not answering smokey there smoke smoke smoke smoke
Smokes like god damn motherfucker, you know, we
I mean this is brief yeah, I was saying to Jay right before we went live
This is a brief. This is a brief at all. This is something we should talk about
Well, it means a lot to me. Let me just say I
Adore Lynn and Nolan.
Lynn for Bonfire context is our...
Spokes model.
Bonfire Spokes model.
Beautiful.
Why do I love this couple?
Let me taste them before you go, Jacob.
I wanna make sure people's ears perk up.
Hey ladies out there.
Listen to fuck up.
You're about to learn how to act.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Good, Jacob, you have the floor.
I mean, not only is a beautiful woman, I think we all agree, but Nolan is, he lives
my ideal life.
All I want to do is build, build stuff from my sweetheart.
Just got to building a house for her.
He's building stuff.
Jay, I'm right.
You're not wrong.
Well, let me.
You're ideal life is a built thing for your sweetheart. I love that. I love lowlands life. Jacob, have you played Minecraft?
But let me just say he keeps building his stuff. But Lynn, what kind of stuff is so he's building
extensions to yeah building the extensions for the house entertainment centers. Yeah, the guys are the guy does everything for but here's the thing. Yeah, she's so appreciative. Look what you
watch her on Instagram. Look what Nolan built for me and it's not even the stuff he builds. She'll he'll buy her present. Like yesterday, she just posted no look what Nolan got me is it is it a
Absolute what I think is a fantastic steamer vac. Pull it up
Dude I saw this too. This one me and Jacob connected on before the show. What he
This is something that the christine is the best if I got christine as a gift a
steamer pet thing back vacuum
She would a gift, a steamer pet thing vacuum, she would assume that I was being passive
aggressive, I'm telling her to fucking clean her so Lynn is such a perfect woman so
much better than you Christine. You did buy this for us and I was appreciative.
You got it at Costco and I use it. I use it more than you do. Did you say look what
Jay got me smiley face? Make a grid. She grid she should In he would have been so mad at me if you look she says look at the words Bobby read the screen what it says
Oh, and then Bobby then she shows the magnificent job it did you should see the before and after on this zebra blanket
It's here you wouldn't even believe it was the same blanket. Can you click to the left Christine?
She'll blanket
Look at that Wow, that's a big difference.
Is that a key key? My point is these two are the what a couple man. She's so appreciative of everything
he does. He just does everything for and she she loves them for it. I agree. Lynn sent some
spread butthole picks to the show just like celebrate this. And there's that. I would like some maybe
some boobs. Maybe some boob. If we can finally get boob and butthole on the same pick.
Yeah, and maybe a little bush starts coming on that thing or whatever.
I bought I bought don a high end vacuum cleaner.
Mm-hmm.
Like one of the best vacuums on the market.
Mm-hmm.
She wanted it and I bought it for us around $900.
And I bought her the vacuum cleaner and she almost cried.
Christine, didn't she poorly hung it on the wall? for us around nine hundred dollars and I bought her the vacuum cleaner and she must cry.
Uh Christine didn't she poorly hung it on the wall. She melted silver down and tried
to pour it on your forehead while you sleep.
Yeah.
Steam this bitch.
Yeah.
I mean, she really should Christine does not show this appreciation when I buy her cleaning
product.
She appreciates Nolan so much.
If I started appreciating Jay on Instagram, he'd be like, what are you doing?
No, I wouldn't.
How would he do it?
What are you doing?
I don't like her depression.
I don't like the impression of you.
It's dead on impression.
I've been hearing it one more time.
What are you doing?
That's me.
It's so me.
It's so me.
But. I knew you thought I said something online. I get so many. So many.
But...
I knew you thought I said something online and you were like, just too much!
But one more time, can I hear it?
I'm here to do it.
I'll get a joke.
We're seeing if you did a big J one more time.
Just do it too much.
I lost it.
You got it.
Breathe.
Do one of my bits.
Think of the breath.
Ask them what they've ever felt before I got it.
There it is.
Do it too much.
You ever felt it fucked black guy?
And then you got to chuckle out your nose.
I can't wait to get your new teeth.
So what's the vacuuming situation at the house now?
It's a cordless Dyson and it's the one that I always wanted.
I was very appreciative.
I don't know how Jay needs to be appreciated.
I vacuum eight times.
You know, Christine, back.
Eight.
That's because you want to back.
You seem like you will take if something's dirty, though, you will just do it to have it clean.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean she's lacking in her duties.
Absolutely does.
Why is it so dirty?
I meant that they are so nice.
Do you have a maid?
Yes, Christine tends to have them come in
so she gets, this is what happens.
Christine has the maid come in on a Friday
when I'm gone for me to return on Sunday
when I never get like the clean house.
You don't get clean?
Oh my God.
One time she got it on a Friday
when I was, she got it on the Friday
when I left for two weeks.
Yeah, that's my life all Kristie
That was bad timing generally she comes on a Friday
Friday she can't come on sardis she's kids. There's nothing better than coming home to
Made the best clean house minds coming to the weekend. It's like it's like getting a new house
It's like getting a new house. It's like getting a new house
I saw yeah, it's great. You don't smuggle I saw
I'm a shitty made it. I haven't made it
She doesn't she's banished bathroom. Yeah, she's Spanish. She does not scrub any
Reason you get it she doesn't you know, of course she does not do a good job
Falling out of shitty made he would come on when she'd be eating food from his fridge
not do a good job. Absolutely.
Colin had a shitty maid.
He would come on when she'd be eating food from his fridge.
She doesn't do that.
I'm just telling you, she doesn't move anything.
She's not good.
That's not true.
Might as me weird treats.
Our legends work.
Like just me.
She brought me tamaleous.
Yes, dude.
She leaves you meat on a steak.
She leaves me fucking weird meats in Tupperware.
Yeah, ours gave Christina tamaleous so she can't fire her now.
Even though she doesn't even wipe down the windowsills
Why the windows hills I made is me yeah, and after I clean my apartment on Saturdays. That's my time
I'm never happier because it's that the cleanest it's gonna be for the week. I never get that Jacob
You know Jacob Jay. Yeah, Andy. Yeah, everybody. I don't clean
I don't clean I don't
Me neither never I do I've never picked up
Christine's bitch me out now. You know what I I mean I I have a vacuum cleaner my own vacuum cleaner
Because when I eat like crackers on the couch and stuff sometimes I get crumbs. It's called the dog
The personal back. Oh nice. Come here doodle
dog the personal Oh nice
Doodle yeah, actual dog
That's it. Yeah, that's what Christine also I said I said to my wife. I go listen
Listen
Do your job
Christine doesn't do a job. I go I was really do this way you say go like this go Christine
Look at her look over Christine Christine now a little more attitude Christine Christine. Hey look at me
I
Have
I've got people online I've had I've seen people online say shit about me like oh Christine's a sloth
She doesn't clean anybody's ever been to my home knows that I keep a good home. Yeah, it's just crazy
Is that me crazy? that I keep a good home. Jays just crazy. What does that mean? He's crazy.
You're crazy, Jay.
He's fucking crazy.
I clean, we have a maid, everything gets wiped down.
She dumps a bunch of food into the sink,
and then she throws things in the dishwasher
that I've provided for her.
And then I have to take a napkin because for two days,
she'll just leave all the food in the drain things sitting there.
You got to get it out with a paper towel, I know it sucks.
And it's what the way I did today.
J. Grant?
Today.
Sorry, I couldn't watch dishes today because I was talking about your album all morning.
Fair.
That's fair.
It is fair.
I got your work.
I love me and Indy.
You can just go back to work. That's fair. She's real. Wally
Play Jimmy. Why do you ever want you say something? I want you talk. What you eat something
Why don't you say something? I do not pay rents. Yeah. Oh, you you my uncle's very proud of me
You do you do pay rent you do with sweat equity. She does is does, it's the point. Sweckity. Thank you, Annie.
Making that a way funner word to say.
Sweck, Sweckity.
Sweckity.
Sweck, Sweckity.
I do love the word, Sweckity.
I gotta say first, I do love the word.
Love that word.
She is not giving Sweckity the situation.
She's giving a lot of Sweckity.
No.
Sweckity in all day.
Did that Italian upstate New York?
No, Sweckity.
No, Sweckity.
She gave it a lot of Sweckity. She She was squected in all morning on the album thing.
That's my...
I had the name of my next album.
This is how Jesus called me at work to tell me
that the corner of the bed is untucked.
That's fucking crazy.
Your crazy behavior.
You're a fucking mental patient.
You're a mental patient. You're a mental patient.
Why are you like, who do you think I am?
I'm the MDF.
I just shined on every call me at work ever again
to talk about the best.
You made Navy SEAL J. Yeah.
That was not the last time.
That was not the last time.
He's a frog man.
You took that corner and you hear me, Brian.
I'm sorry to tell everybody what you do.
You're an expert talking to corners.
That's the way you do.
You're a squirt in the end going to get you this far. Chance it wouldn't live like that. That's the same. Everybody what you do
Shanks wouldn't live like that
And you're that's from Jacob not insane. It is insane sure
Jay has mental it's not just me guys. It's insane. You got a your common dear
She's common dearing show military words dude. She's got a Squickity
That's not a squectity. I'm a big fan of the word. I like the word a lot favorite word. She doesn't have it. Wektady
No
Christine the corner of the couch thing where the corner of the bed when she made a bit she's talking about something I
Took a picture of it
I took a picture of it. It's crazy.
You're not doing yourself any shit.
Well, is it a recurring thing or just, there we go.
Now we're getting to the bottom of it.
She goes, she'll be,
I make the bed like, first of all,
she would sleep at the time way longer than I did.
So she would go, I make the bed every day.
And I go, you shouldn't suck your own dick about that
when you do a poor job of it.
I don't know if that's in a book to a marriage relationship thing. Tell you why if you don't suck your own dick about that when you do a poor job of it. I don't know if that's in a book
to a marriage relationship thing.
Tell you why if you don't suck your own dick over it.
That's fine.
Better for Mars, Winter for Venus.
Yeah, this is chapter 12.
Don't suck your own dick about that.
I give Christine a lot.
I have to reform.
I have to remind Christine often
to not suck her own dick about something.
So does Jim Norton. Listen, I don't suck you on dick. No, no, no, no, no, I mean for real. I'm doing it.
Please do it, do it. Listen, let me say something. You have to let me explain.
I'll explain. She just gave you her bullshit things. He called me. She called me at work.
That's that's a that's true. Giving you a part of a story.
Okay, go ahead. You took a picture of a story okay go ahead you took a
picture of a bad corner though that's crazy because she sucks throwing dick and says I make the bed
all the time I go you're bragging about a thing you don't do well like you don't make the you
throw it together every day oh no no no and then so I would tell her I go I'd bring her I go you
think it's like amazing like it's simply tucking it in I don't even I don't need tight hospital
Corn you tuck it so it's not
Like like let us out of the sandwich
What are you the fucking hampton in sweet my friend?
I would tell you I taught her hospital corners. I taught her how to talk
Always happy you gave them to or you forgot them perfect every time you shouldn't get a call at work about it
You gave them to or you forgot them perfect every time you shouldn't get a call at work about it
In heaven if it's heaven if it's not even done right once let's forget perfect every time
Let's say it's never done right one time Um, and so I just so you want you want things tucked in you want when the beds made you wanted to look
Really made I've had to really I've had to really learn to cope with the fact that there's a lot of
Metaphorics sweeping under the carpet in my life I've had to really learn to cope with the fact that there's a lot of
metaphorics sweeping under the carpet in my life.
Christine does not give a fuck if a sheet's tucked in and like tight underneath.
She just pulls the sheet up and then as long as the
comforter looks fine. That's the way I make it.
It's fine.
Right.
She lives like a fucking like a 45 yearyear-old batch man in Mark phase of your
Good room. Can I say something though when you make the bed?
It's your you're not a hotel no one else is coming in you just throw the people do come in who comes in
Yes, who never see this right-tag group are you kidding me? Why are they coming in your room?
It's a New York apartment the room. He can a little tour. It's a newer place. Go ahead, take a look around the
apartment. Nobody does that. Nope. When somebody comes out of the city too long.
You're not having city swar is anymore. This genuinely, in a four bedroom house,
in a four bedroom house, this doesn't bother me so much. In, in tight quarters for a long,
long time, tight quarters got to be nice.
Jacob, I know you're sort of on my set on this Robert Kelly bonfire. Seriously, exactly. You have a question?
Yeah, long time, listen to second time caller.
I'm saying this, Jay, as long as it looks neat, the sheet is over the top.
The pillows are where they're supposed to be.
And the comfort or duvet is on the top in a organized fashion.
You don't need to talk.
Yes, that's insane.
What's the point of doing all the rest?
If the bottom's gonna be like, it's all about looks.
It's all about aesthetics.
Well, you can talk.
You can talk.
You can talk.
If you're having a party or something of people might go in
there, but you can talk.
But if it's just a regular day, who makes the bed every fucking?
Yeah, I don't want it hotel time.
Me.
Why?
Then you get in and kick the sheets up again.
I make the bed every day and might be called.
Tell would be as a child.
I don't even get a message.
Nobody.
You know, I heard as a little boy.
Jay looked at my fingers.
My fingers are together, man.
Jay, look at me together Jay look at me
Feel great. Isn't it great to talk like a powerful?
It's really powerful
You are heard as a little boy and those corners need to be tucked in so what you feel safe
Not at night you feel safe in the morning the afternoon all day long little J.J.
Feel a little PPJ feel safe those corners
of tucked in and you know what she she didn't tuck them in so what happens you
don't feel safe but Jay guess what she wasn't worried about my safety she
wants me hurt she she's worried she's worried about you safety she wants you to
live without a net Jay Christine's got you look at my fingers
Did it gather you giving her excuse to be lazy?
Let's see. Oh, Jay. Christine's just living with that a net is all this.
Jay, Jay, look at me.
Jay, Jay, look at me. Look at my fingers. There they go.
They really do command the tension. She's got your Jay. You can fall. She's got you. Okay. She has
my start to say what is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What And say honey you have sweat today. I will give you for your work all the royalties if my soon-to-be-released gas digital
Crowd-work album that never came out
25
Dollars
How much is the date? You know I made I made my bed every day before jay came along. Why you sexy are be singing
I'm like a fucking professional
Why are you speaking? I'm like a fucking professional Organizer, come in. One day he left town on a Thursday.
You know, I make that bed every day I come in and I feed the dog and I walk it and I get him
cigarette and I get him weed and I get him a Starbucks and then I make that bed.
My name is Christine and I have Swetady baby. Swetady coming out of my titan.
My name is Christine and I demand respect from my man, from his friends and all the people
on the bone fire.
Swetady is the name of the game daddy oh and I'm here.
All I'm saying is bitch I got you the vacuum vacuum.
And what I'm saying is maybe we don't like we don't need to vacuum twice a day
Paying for the clean I'm paying for the cleaning lady. Let me reap the benefits once in a while
For the house is completely covered in dog hair
We we we are having a fun time. Yeah, does your cleaning lady bring you homemade coquitos? What is a no what is it a unopened old cragu's bottle? No, but you know some kind of treats
I'm getting she does have to be told to dust the furniture
Or she thinks that's not part of it my cleaning lady brings two girls. She is a best
I mean I walk in that house it feels like a brand new
house here's the problem with my brain smell like cleaning stuff in my house here's the problem with
my cleaning lady takes my stuff and puts it places so like I find stuff I found something a year
and a half later that I was looking for and I tell my wife and I go don't where's my stuff
we get put it I didn't fucking put it anywhere I left it on the my stuff? Where did you put it? I didn't fucking put it anywhere.
I left it on the table.
I don't know, you put it somewhere and then I'll find it
in like a draw like a year later with a bunch of wires
because my cleaning lady thought that this goes with
technology and wires and this goes in the store.
I am never that angry.
I'm getting angry.
I think this fucking tequila bar,
I've seen her fucking folding laundry before. I'm like stop clean stuff Stop That's a killer barrel Jesus Christ
Jesus, please tell me to marry
She's a person She'd be out of my life
She'd be out of my life
She's so good, our friend who loves clean stuff recommended her to us. I don't know what you do. Is it Finoa's marry?
The cleaner is not clean enough for you The cleaner is not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm so good our friend who loves clean stuff recommended her to us I don't know what is it for no is Mary the cleaner is not clean enough for you cleaner because my good
I'm telling you what it is Michelle our friend Michelle is one who recommended to Michelle has to hire people that can deal with Michelle's
Crazy thing she had
Our housekeeper in Los Angeles literally it was like a like a they were frenemies
Los Angeles literally it was like a like a they were frenemies
Like Michelle like fell and hurt herself in the shower one time and she was calling out for the for the maid who just chose to not help her
No, come Brenda. Yeah, she was shooting like a TV show He's the fucking maid from family guy. No, she was like. Yeah, she was just like she laughed it off
She like laughed at the does she and her daughter went to go get Tuesday nights the maid that hates me
So I know that the show's gonna get people who could do so this lady is probably just
You could tell her whatever and she just let's it roll off her side. Why don't you dump her and get a new maid
Why don't you eat man up and say hey your done Chiquita Benina and we're getting a new made get a new one
Christine her are somehow best friends it turns out I think we have the same cleaning woman but Christine's blown away by the fact that if she made a bed at our house
She probably would tuck the corners in wow
Oh my Mary makes changes the sheets and makes the bed so probably different my wife
I take care of that on my own
You don't take care of it on your own the whole point hey, Jay. Yes, then you voice down
Okay, but put the fingers together for me. And through your nose, out through your mouth.
Okay, in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Now, talk to Christine with respect and dignity and know that she has squared.
What is it?
Sweck withy.
I'm not going to talk to her like she has squared.
I'm not going to talk to her like she has squared.
No, she has squared. The the secret? I'm not going to talk to her so she has, what's the secret?
The same.
Sweck withy.
Sweck withy.
As we're in front of it.
Sweck withy.
Sweck withy.
Stop showing your intelligence.
It's a sweck withy.
We get all agree.
I'm not going to speak to Christine like she has earned
sweck withy in the department.
You're throwing a cue in there somewhere.
Sweck withy.
Sweck withy.
Sweck withy.
Sweck withy. Sweck withy. Sweck, sweaty. No, sweat, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty.
Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. Sweck, sweaty. right you you gotta give a little sweat that he yes action speak louder than we have for
for
the
uh...
she has to get you going
i think
the thing is that i put a
thing
i think he's me going to pressure points
so sorry christian i apologize for my outburst questions for j
jigger your thoughts
here's one i i feel like
i have an excuse I have such a tall
mattress. I can't tuck tuck in. That would be a horror for you to get it in the mattress.
What the fuck? How is it not more? How is it not easier to tuck in? Because that's at your arm
level. The sheets, the bed is the mattress. I don't know how I got it. It's like a princess in the P mattress
No, I'm saying the high
Comfort couch height of the mattress. It's so tall. Jacob. Do you have to run to get into your bed?
It's tall
That's why Jacob's not in pussy these kids get his bed. It does look kind of silly when I get
Because I got to go like this you go. I got to hop on them
It's I got to give a little push off
We're gonna get we're gonna get you a tall girl to help you and your bed
That's hard to do. I love the mattress, but it's tall. So here's the thing
Yes, because of the height of the mattress. It's like literally that
The sheets and this is a regular big big sheets
Was it a queen? They do not tuck under because the height of the mattress is too much
So what what do I do to buy bigger sheets? They make cheese for everything Jacob. I wouldn't show
It's not a talking for the it wouldn't court. I can't talk the sheet under
It's not the time you can't talk to under, but it's gonna be show it won't be showing because your comfort is gonna come over
That is your bed right shaped in like a car. No, but you put the sheet over there the lip of the computer right by the pillow
Is it a race car?
Nice mattress
Yeah, go do a rope ladder to get in this thing. It's a tall
sleep. Yeah, why is it going to be a rope ladder to get in this thing? It's a tall it's a home mattress. You got a running started Superman. Yeah, do you have a desk under your bed?
Jacob does. Jacob does his homework for the show under his bed. I just realized I got to kind of
do a little push off the floor to get onto my mattress. That's great. If you got a girl in there,
that's right. No, you wouldn't know. got it to scratch or something. I make it look cool
So throw her down if you fly that's gonna hurt
Jacob has a
He has bumpers on the side of his bed. I
Don't know what the what kind of sweat what he is this when I fell out of our bed
I don't know what the what kind of sweat what he is this when I fell out of our bed
Make your feet. I fell out of bed and I landed directly on my ass bone on the hardwood and I'm telling you I it took my breath away. I was having like like you know
I got my arm noises. It's not I just came down directly like ass and
I was going oh
And I was going oh
And she was like what and I was like Christina
Christina that was a chance to build up some sweat with you right there. She went back to sleep while I know She was half awake because I had you pull myself up on the bed like a wounded vet
Like I just like I made a decision. I was like no one's coming to help
Come up to get myself out of this. It's important on the 4th of July
I pulled out two desert Eagles and crawled out and get the Ron Covec you
I was and I'm telling you as loud as I could going
And she just she was like
And she just she was like, I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But the lip, the right by the pillow, you fold a little bit of the sheet over the
Christine wouldn't do that. So what you're saying, it pops up when you're sleeping and you move around. That's annoying.
To make it in the morning.
Oh, just you live alone. Don't even fucking know why don't you get what I'm saying to
If it was Jay, something would have to be done. Get a taller person to come in and tuck in the sheet.
Yeah, come over every morning. She's tall enough for this mattress.
I'm sitting up in this man.
What size matches you have a can?
I know.
What do you got to know?
No, it's not the length.
It's the height of the mattress.
Who's going to pen?
I get a pen.
I do it.
Now, blackwoods go on in here.
Hang on.
You do this.
I got this for you.
She has a, Christina's a video running of how to make a hotel bed.
I make hospital corners. There's no way I do this every day.
We don't need that. We don't need that.
Here's why you have this tall bed.
Here's a bad.
Okay, my mattress is maybe twice as tall as that.
What do you want on the screen?
What was the origin of this bed?
Yeah, what is it?
It's 1700s.
Okay, here's an experience.
Are we all looking at this?
Here's a bed.
Yes.
Okay, if this is the comfort that it's over the whole thing
right now, that's what you would see essentially right is it's a
Comforter
Okay, the comforter coming down doesn't matter where
It does not go over the mattress. Your confidence to come back. It's what it is. It's way too small
You're a tiny comforter or a giant equinox. You need a you need a big the bigger the one that queen size
mattress, so I got queen size
Fitting yeah, but the mattress is so big. No, you need a king-sized comforter.
You just get a bigger height.
Yeah, that's what you need.
So yes, I would argue your bed probably looks like shit
when it's made.
Yeah, yeah.
But the fitted seat just a seat of them.
I couldn't get a king-sized fitted seat.
But we all agree this looks fine, right?
This looks fine in the most basic of levels.
I like the comforter drape.
Christine would have
These things happen is that make it happy
There's truck nuts of sheets coming off your bed make it happy
Where is it make you feel like you should take all the sweat? What do you think she has away?
Wait a second now. Yeah, wait a second now. I see the truck
Sure, look at that. Yeah, it's like the lettuce coming out of this fucking sandwich.
Okay, but I got claders like it now.
I think you need to get smaller sheets.
So it doesn't hang over so much.
I'm not sure what it's to tuck in.
It's to tuck.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell you what you gotta do, Christine.
Move out!
You gotta, Jason, take that back.
I'll take it back.
I'll take it back.
I say that you take your finger and you just one time on each side
Swoom down and it goes up oh
95% of the time 95 it's done well, can you do listen?
90 I got a
If a fucking corner is coming out of the bed and you see that my expectations that he'd go
Christine missed that and you tuck it in and I would literally never hear that
By the way, that happens 99% of the time that's codependent
That's a woman stuff right there. We're like if I didn't do it. Why don't you do it yourself?
That's just fucking tuck it in if it's out. I do a lot of the times But some point you have to go are you just not doing it under the idea that I will fix it every time?
You fucking psycho I do it Christine's last comment is making me come around the J now
Thank you. Yeah, if I let her talk you gave away your tell always bigger on
percent of the day I do it 225% of the time as your as your lawyer Christine stop talking
225% of the time. As your lawyer, Christine stopped talking.
She gave away her tell.
Yeah, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't say that.
I expect to do something wrong and you'll fix it.
I learned how to do the thing right.
I know.
When you're interested, you take the stance.
Jay, if you see my fuck up, take care of it.
Crazy.
What about clothes on the floor?
If you do have something laying on the floor,
does the other one pick it up?
Same scenario.
I don't think clothes on the floor.
All right.
Steano putter stuff all over the floor.
But, no.
Jay, Jay, it's a microphone.
We all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all.
We all have phones off.
Yeah.
America.
Kristina, put her clothes off.
Let me just give a fuck.
Can you think, you think it's an attack plan?
It's an attack plan itself calling me a work of the world. What's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, a fuck. Can you think you think it's an attack in himself calling me a work of the world?
What's your, what'd you say?
I said you think instead of tucking in in himself, oh that's not there.
What was the work I called you?
I think you lost the room, Christine.
What was the work I called you?
Christine, as your lawyer.
No, we have to take a break.
Wait, what was the actual, what was the work?
I was working with Rebecca, it wasn't like I was a...
For the love of God of Christ.
He was working with her, it wasn't like I was a... For the love of Gov. Chris Stevens. He was working with Rebecca!
And that is work!
We do what he had to do.
Chris is the comedy festival called Skankfest and just because we were working in her office
doesn't mean it wasn't work.
Oh, I guess that year Skankfest was a little less because you were able to put a little more effort in the Skankfest
because you don't tuck in the sheets of it.
Wow, that makes sense.
Hey guys.
Oh, that makes sense.
Hey guys, this is the bonfire. We're going to take a break. We'll be back in the sheets of it. Wow, that makes sense. Hey guys. Oh, that makes sense. Hey guys, this is the bonfire.
We're going to take a break.
We'll be back in just a few minutes.
With closing statements, closing arguments.
Close arguments.
This is Big J.O.K.
or Cinema New Special Dog Belly Life from Skankfest
out now on YouTube.
Scott Fulton, PJ, O.K.S.A.
Scott Fulton, PJ O.K.C