The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Marketing (feat. Kerryn Feehan)

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Kerryn Feehan learns about marketing oneself for products that don't pay. ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:47 And now the bonfire with Big J.O.K.R.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S Robert Kelly. Hard Jacob's nephew You're right dude you're right buddy You know say Jacob's nephew had to put his knee back up on a hide his boner on the chair His boner sure Shobbing up over there at Jacob's unlisted nephew. Yeah, yeah, he's clean. He's clean He's fine. He's never any mental psychological damage that that Jacob's put into his brother He looks like a deckhand. Yeah, cute. Fuck yeah, he does. Yeah, the other one looks like a dickhand She knows how to get those she knows how to get those subs He looks like a deckhand. I love deck hands Below deck hands I fucked a deck hand once.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Really where? Wherever that happens. Those are the comedy seller boat ride. You heard of the Staten Island ferry. There's only one. She goes, I never pay for that. It's always free. Shit. Shit. You guys. Shit. Everybody joining the show with us.
Starting point is 00:01:49 You know where in lover. She's back on everybody. You know her podcast only fie hands. It is the hilarious carrot fie hand. Hey guys. Hey. Summer time. Summer times here. Yeah. Love it. Did you have in the walks the idol? The show the idol and Max?
Starting point is 00:02:03 No. The one with Johnny Depp stater. Yeah, yeah, I mean It's the discreet we've been talking about it for the why it's it's just like some mind boggling leave fucking boring Hardcore porn, I guess it's so bad. I will not watch it, but Jay watch it, but it's so bad. It's good. It is one of those It's like cringe good. Yes, okay. No likeable character on the show Wow, the weekend didn't do it for you. He's the worst He's the worst actor and the worst character and the worst person. It's just I can't business week right Sorry, I liked it. I hate my own brain
Starting point is 00:02:46 The weekend is, uh... Why is that turning me on? Why is that making me hot? People say... I'm hot in the hoodie Jacob made me wear hair. Oh, Jacob. I'm good. Is she hot? Are you guys both feeling hot?
Starting point is 00:03:00 Why don't you guys peel down a little bit? You think it's time for you and Jacob to peel down maybe? She came in looking like a supermodel. Jigger made a change to that. Now she looks like a porn star in between scenes. Right. You're just going to go outside and smoke a cigarette if we're going to come back in for a blowbang.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Where the hoodies come from? Oh, for God's sake. The guy with the bag of hoodies. The person we forget his first name, we call the hoodie guy. What is hoodie guys name though? Brandon. Brandon, okay, good. The guy who made everybody walk out of it with a lot of shit that we can't carry.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Don't you hate that when you have a friend who's like, I just had some stuff I saw. I thought you might need, you know, I was throwing away. What word of our friendship makes you think I want your garbage? My mother's a borderline hoarder. And every time I go to a house, she's like, oh, she sucks. She goes, I got this for you. A turkey plate?
Starting point is 00:03:58 What the fuck? She got me a hat. This really bugged me. She gave me a hat once, one of those old guy hats. She goes, this was your grandfather's. And and I was like oh shit. I took it I was so touched and I took it home and I was wearing it in the backyard like on the weekends like an old man It wasn't his hat It looked like a hat that he would have had
Starting point is 00:04:18 And she picked it up at a fucking flea market. I Through it out immediately and wearing some old fucking other dead guys hat. Yeah. Yeah. You want his dead skin flakes all over you? Yeah. Yic. Yicke.
Starting point is 00:04:32 I, except for family, I would take from like my parents gave me. There, we're getting a new TV TV's a few times. At least one second remember, which upgraded my TV to a pretty big one at one point. Almost killed Mike Vecchio and getting it upstairs. But I would take those besides I've never lit at my broke. I've never lived in a building when someone goes, Hey, you guys went this old shelf and I go, you're fucking garbage out of my face.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah. They go, no, we just never used it. It's like brand new pretty much. I don't want it. You're getting rid of it because there's bed bugs. Something. Why don't you want it so much? Do you want this bed frame?
Starting point is 00:05:07 $400, you just have to pick it up. The only gift that I did like was Sean Donnelly. He goes, hey man, do you want a smoker? I was like, what? Why? Yeah, I'll take one because I barbecue a lot. And I was looking at smoke. I was like, yeah, because goes, it's brand new.
Starting point is 00:05:25 I, I, I'm breaking up with her. Yeah, he goes, I go, why, I go, he goes, you got to come pick it up. So I drove to Queens. He got a smoker, like a four tiered smoker for his one bedroom apartment in Queens. He thought he was going to smoke meats inside. He thought it was an indoor smoker. What's... I mean, I'm like, I'm looking at him,
Starting point is 00:05:49 like, are you a fucking alright dude? Did he try to smoke meat? He realized pretty quickly. Pretty quickly that you had a light of fire. Yeah, yeah. Inside of his kitchen that didn't fit a smoker. Did the fire alarm go off? A charcoal smoked a man's insane. I was crazy, so I just put this fit a smoker in the fire alarm. The charcoal smoked at Manson Sain.
Starting point is 00:06:05 I was crazy. So I just put this brand new smoker in my fucking truck and I used it a bunch of times. Yeah, I get that. Who was it from? Sean O'Shoek. Yeah, so like, we both failed on Sean Donnelly. Sean Donnelly.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Yeah, I guess I could just- Did you hear that? That's reaping off someone's stupidity, for sure. But there is like, I don't know, like, weak me in Christine. I couldn't believe the things. I was, did you hear that? That's reaping off someone's stupidity, for sure. But there is like, I don't know, like, weak me in Christine, I couldn't believe the things. I understood the things we couldn't sell. I did not understand the things that we could give away.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Someone took our mattress that looked, I mean, like, when we took off the stuff off of it to give it to him, I was like, they're on their way over here to get it. We can't give this to him. It's covered in cum, pussy juice, period, I mean, there was so much on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:47 And they still took it. It's crazy. I'm like, you know, you're my. No, when you give away your next match, it's going to be a ozemic leaking out of your stomachs. It's not how it works. On the way, Christine, I mean, ozemic scare this week. Christine, for the first time, I put the needle,
Starting point is 00:07:02 like, started to put it in and she pulled away. And there's blood coming out. I'm like, no, why? You got to stand still, you shit it. You have a flashback from college. It's just hurt. Oh, what did he do it nice? Yeah, I don't know, it just got me.
Starting point is 00:07:14 I just flinched. I do, I guess I go, I don't dry. I don't dry nail it. I give her little, I give her little jizz. I give her a little bit of the jizz. You guys are junkies. Yeah. You ready to boot up? That's what we say.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah, they're junky junkies. We take it out, we take it out of the fridge, and then Christine sets a 30 minute alarm, and then it goes off and goes time to boot up. The junk, let's do it. Let's get it, kid. We do this a lot. By the way, it's never, it's just non-stop air bubbles. I just keep doing it until I don't know. I just do it a lot and I go, well, that, there's air bubbles that are not coming out.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Right. And this is what freaks me out. I feel like home syringes. Yeah. How do you know you've got all the air bubbles? You prefer what Coney Islands? San San Turin did you find on the beach? Home syringes seems like they'd be able to keep it sanitary No, no, it's not the sanitaries like how do you know you're getting all the bubbles out? Oh, you don't want one level that I'll tell you I'll tell you all you can do I love this fart. Yeah tell you all you can do
Starting point is 00:08:27 You go Oh, no, that was air that was just air no, no, it was just air My stomach keeps crying got for help. Did you hear it again? My body is mouth and a stomach goes my little my baby no my baby stomach is is lonely for the other half that I cut out He's missing his dying twin. Yeah, he's I picture it's the worm from sesame street What was that worm called it was just two sticks and it would get close and big like that? I can't control it if he's having I keep looking at Lewis. I heard it. Christine just got this straw funny. I Sunato kind of died. I found that out hours ago. She's in the know girl. Somebody put up a she know she got a dive with a picture of Jim Norton. Jim Norton crack a week of it. I thought something compares to her.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I got a layer. She just died because she was so sad. Probably. Because the IRA is still out there. Why did she just die because she was so sad? Because the IRA is still out there The Pope still fingering people or whatever she's Such a whiny bitch Look crazy What you what you die of is there may now Christine?
Starting point is 00:09:46 Because she stole dying young from Prince also. Yep. Nothing compares to you as a Prince song. I got it. No, I got it. All right. I had to tell everybody what you got. I was right there.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Karen was taking a sip and I was trying to control my stomach voice. Everyone was just busy for a second, Jay. I'm sorry. It was a poorly timed joke, and when you told it, understood, understood, understood. Karen believes in aliens and she thinks people who don't are fucking stupid people.
Starting point is 00:10:12 It's not true. Did you see this? What, my photo of aliens? No, it says she converted to Islam and changed her name. Oh, that's what she, she got killed by a husband. Yeah. Malfi dumbed up. Ah. Malfi dumb dumb
Starting point is 00:10:28 Malfi dumb dumb I love that a fucking islamic I would you call it dumb dumb? Let's just change the name to shoot shoot hot shahada Shahada Shahada Shahada, scass watch Saddest Saddest watch
Starting point is 00:10:43 Saddest watch She can't read it is long She's announced that I am proud to have become a Muslim. This is the natural conclusion of any intelligent theologian's journey. All scripture study leads to Islam, which makes all the other scriptures redundant. I will be given another new name. It will be Sh Shahada. Remember when she lived at a motel in Jersey near my house? Yeah. What the fuck? What?
Starting point is 00:11:10 Pre-pandemic, she lived at the JD's total on Route 46. As if she was Muslim? No, no, no, this is before all that. She was just down on her luck. Yeah, while her son killed himself. Oh, God. Was he listening to her music? Yeah. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Lucian Aido Connor was you and your brother's neighbor. Yeah, hooker hotel. Hooker hotel? What a great if she was giving blow jobs. By the way, so funny. She wrote, like how has a 17 year old traumatized young person who was on suicide watch in Talat hospitals, Lin Ward, be able to go missing.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Aliens. Yeah, hands for sure. I think that's the idea. Definitely a possibility. What do you want me missing and killed himself? I mean, he has some cranberries now, just like as a palate cleanse. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah, at least she killed herself. What you throw on the cure so we can all kill ourselves. Then we'll watch the idol. What could get you back to a cure concert? There's an answer. Yeah, if an alien ship took me. Forget, take money out of it. Now, what's the favor you're doing?
Starting point is 00:12:17 There's nothing that would get back. To sit through three and a half hours of that again. Nothing, nothing, nothing. It's nothing. No, it was awful. No, I would never do that again It was bad when Christine wanted to go and it didn't like it. Yeah, it was terrible. I think he might be an alien Oh for sure. He's a hundred percent whacked out his non-human his hair bugs me Just the back like he just woke up from a nap. I still keeping it up. He's keeping what up his look
Starting point is 00:12:44 His fuck what look? His crazy stupid shitty look. His shitty shitty stupid look. I think it's not hard to keep up. All you have to do is it never shower. Don't wash your hair. You think it is. Drink blood before you go out. Do you think it's easy to live life as fat crow? Because it's probably not I bet it's hot a lot Fat crow That's it I'm getting revenge on people as if Brendalee never got shot. Yeah, the crow 17 Everyone I'm fat crow. Oh god. I can't jump from rooftop to rooftop anymore, but. Last time I did it, I went through the roof and killed a family. Missed judge that murdered a family of five by accident.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I eat pigeons. Now I just send the crow. I asked the crow if it's worth me getting out of bed. You look over and he's eating the crow because you got hungry. Parbo concert. What's the worst concert you ever went to? Me? Being in one where you like this has to end.
Starting point is 00:13:51 I haven't been to any bad concerts. I haven't really. I've always had fun. Never. That was... Oh, maybe like one of those, like a Lilith Fair. Oh yeah. Yeah, that would be a lot.
Starting point is 00:14:02 There were some good, good acts, but then there was a lot of fluff I feel like not enough to like make the day good. Yeah, I know that feeling and like there was like not that many boys There was so many girls at those concerts There's so many girls there. I'm like how am I gonna get fingered in this patch of grass? Easy. Oh any diker sit next to Any girl wearing a long sleeve or sleeveless shirt any smelly bitch next to you Sticker fucking 900 ring knuckle right? Like hey, Tony, can you finger me to die though?
Starting point is 00:14:38 Hey, I know you shaving your armpits. Do you mind? Oh, when you're done sticking your finger in my toilet? Yeah, you really got to grow that beaver out though. Fingering your finger to Lilith Fair. Yeah. They like to go through the hair so they can't see the shame their fingers are causing God. And they want their pussy's waterproof. That is true. Yeah. It also keeps a lot of debris out of there when you're sitting in the instile of dirt all day. Keeps them mud out. You can have a ball pussy and sit in the lawn seat.
Starting point is 00:15:05 You know, tell him, Lou, you sit on lawn seats a lot. Pearl Jam. It helps you while you're saving llamas. Yeah, little affair. What's, who loves all that music? There's always funny to me. Oh, Bisconti. Gina Bisconti.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Stop it. Why? I think went to little affair. His joke book for a long time was a little affair. Notebook. That explains the headband. I was going to say. And now he wears now he wears headbands the origin of the headband He wears headbands now because of sitting hair on top like an older lady and he hates Jews and he hates Jews
Starting point is 00:15:35 He's got it all covered because ready for love affair. Did you go to live the fear by yourself? No, I was like a group of girlfriends a group of girls. Did you guys all hated at one point? I think we like got drunk I think we were like like drinking so it was awesome Is that something you go with like a lounge chair? We have blankets Fuck you and to go girls It's all those people I started sleeping with my hip-hop teacher and I went to one of his big concerts Sorry, what did you just say? You're what my hip-hop teacher and I went to one of his big concerts. Sorry, what did you just say?
Starting point is 00:16:05 You're what? My hip-hop teacher. That's vague, though. When I was in, I used to take classes at Broadway dance center. Hip-hop dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't even call the culture.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Or the culture, yeah. How did you ask? Yeah. We're a big floppy apple hat from the 70s. Hey, hang on. You hang on with Dougie Fresh. Yeah, you can say it. Say the N-Wer. You want to Do you want to teach you how to be box?
Starting point is 00:16:27 Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. You guys are just spitting on me. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. You sound better than recorded. It sounds like this. Spook it. You know, when I was entrenched in the culture of hip-hop. Yeah, yeah. You were dating black guys. Yeah. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Spook. Spook it. Spook it. Spook it. Sp, yeah. You were dating black guys. Yeah. trenched in hip-hop. Yeah. Past presentation. He flew back when you were drenched in hip-hop.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah. Yeah. I went to his, like, you know, they would have, like, where a bunch of acts would be at, like, monster jam. Sure, yeah. It would be, like, sponsored by that radio station or whatever. Yeah. That was a good one, because I got to meet, like monster genre, would be like sponsored by that radio station or whatever. That was a good one,
Starting point is 00:17:06 because I got to meet like Mario, because he was the choreographer for all his little dances. Nice. And he was one of his dancers. Right. That was pretty cool. That's what the passion said in. That's when you felt your hips moving and your knees just bopping.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Yeah, I was really hit. This is the show, the idol, by the way. I was really hit. This is how it happened. Before you know, he's fingering her while she's writing jokes. No one knows what the hell's going on. She's gonna buzz eating in front of people all the time. She's making an omelette on only fans of the rest of it.
Starting point is 00:17:39 That's a good idea, Bobby. Thank you. That's a great idea. You're welcome. I was hoping for that. Have you looked into all the things? I did it, marketing. Have you looked into all the finished
Starting point is 00:17:48 that doesn't even require a new to you can do? Just like that kind of shit. Like people want to watch you scrub a wall or something. Right, yeah, there's so many. Like if you look at my DM request, it's like $999 and then a little plus sign. And if you just go digging in there, there's so many fascinating things that people want.
Starting point is 00:18:03 What's the craziest one? Well, like figurines, they'll be like, can you go find this action figure? go digging in there. There's so many fascinating things that people want. What's the craziest one? Well, like um, figurines, they'll be like, can you go find this action figure? Like a humble? What the fuck? Yeah. Like a little like Star Wars? No, it's a little like a little like a...
Starting point is 00:18:14 You ain't teacun for me. Like, like, want me to flash my titties there? So I'm gonna, no, no, no, just like, let me know what's going on in that part of town. I think it's hard to hit all the spots in one weekend. Can you go bid on some storage? He's like, is this task rabbit? Oh, this is only famous. Hey, could you take a ceramic Dutch boy
Starting point is 00:18:32 sitting on a mushroom and sticking your pussy? I can't order McDonald's waiting. Can you go pick it up and drive it to my house? Can you find a rare classic hot wheel and shove it up in your charge chain? Can you guys remember the evil canoeva? You could wind up, I could jump, but could you stick it in your asshole? Yeah, it's more like that. I thank you in advance, Carl.
Starting point is 00:18:56 That's my favorite, like sometimes the like salutations. Good afternoon, Miss Fian, I hope everything's well with you. Just curious if you could shove this down your throat Yeah, right in the street because would love to hear you gag As much spit as possible. Thank you in advance. I hope this letter finds you well One regards Robert Elizabeth Pattinson before he sends he's like Jacob. What do you think about this? Is this good? sign by multiple rounds, Johnny five. Top of the morning, too. Have you ever done like jokes? Like, like, sit there and like, No, nothing makes me more cringe than what the comedy mixing them. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:38 You never I hate funny porn. I hate it. It is stupid and so annoying when I do the parodies I think if you can come to that you're a psychopath Come to all the family porn. Yes, yeah big dumb is something Really always do something hillbilly killer He's like a jack most girl guy wearing fake teeth It's like every vibrators like a puppet is like pop it pop it hit it. Swink it everyone looks like a great game I love that game Max has that
Starting point is 00:20:09 I Think that one the people control from the computers a weird one too when you see videos of that. Yeah, what's that? You just look at a tad like a pink tadpole's coming out of your hooch and then like I guess people when you hear like But I ain't like They're like they're buzzing it from home. Oh Now am I wrong, I don't know where you're talking. No, am I wrong? I don't know where you're talking. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:27 It sounds good. There's a little, all of these videos. You guys know. Have a little pink, there's like a pink, it looks like a tadpole. Jacobs, that's who's not a tadpole. With the tail coming out. I got it.
Starting point is 00:20:36 A tipper. And when they tip, it buzzes it. It's called, it's called lush sense. So you put something in your vagina. And when you tip it, it vibrates or it vagina. Well, she puts it in at home. People are watching and when they're tipping, it like makes it vibrate.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I am leaving money on the table. I'll tell you what. Now, it looks weird. It looks like you're halfway into shitting something out. Okay. I just load up a bunch of cleafs. Fire one! You're just, you're just, you're just, I just load up a bunch of quees I
Starting point is 00:21:12 Ready player to It's the inhale though. It's gonna be on a cleave. It's though when the people that get do it on command Not when a cleave happens in the wild that just happens when the people who can do it they go That just happens when the people who can do it and they go Sharon's queues the tight pussy queues though Sounds like the end of the mustard Sounds like you have a balloon they are trying to squeak air out Sweet care out of it. It goes. What? Stop it. What is my pussy going on? Oh, no. Because it played with...
Starting point is 00:21:49 My butt. It's cool. It's cool. It's like D2 football. It was cool. It was cool. It's gay. Did you ever see girls who can do the...
Starting point is 00:22:00 When they have their pussy stretched crazy open, and they do something inside where it looks like something comes up And like a wall just hits from the back like yeah, that's scary. They're really critters that Come on of the same are you not familiar with critters? But I know critters. I'm just still visually a wall coming up from the back of her not her I know not her I've see other girls with big huge buses. I haven't seen it. I've never Jacob look at my eyes looking at my eyes. Have you ever seen it? Jane what let me tell you look at it before she came in on the screen here
Starting point is 00:22:40 You like gave it a voice. I've seen Karen's only fans. You've never seen it Jacob. No. OK. You gave it a voice. I don't know why you're looking at me like that. Why not Jacob? I think you maybe you told me, but I did not look. You got my dog on this new dog food. I got a pay for.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Real nice, Jacob. Take money out of the woman's pocket. Starve a dog while you're at it. Hey, did you, did your only fans like like plateau? Or does it just always keep going up? It's that peaks in plateau. I would say peaks in now. I always like like because we have to as like when I do social media, you see, okay, well do these videos are in now. So when it goes down, do you have to do like,
Starting point is 00:23:18 do you have to do it in a different video? Like find out what the young girls are doing? It's my summer bananza sale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you know this. Bobby is an ad man. He works exclusively for pillow cue beds, we speak. I got bullshitting. Uh, him and he is hoard his son out also. I didn't see it.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Bob, pillow cue? I did a, I did three years ago. Okay. I saw, I, I, I had a bad pinch nerve and I, this pillow cue, it makes you sleep. So your head, you know, jack your shoulder into your ear when I sleep, because I'm a bad pinch nerve and I, this pillow cube it makes you sleep so your head, you don't jack your shoulder into your ear when I sleep, some side sleeper. So I wrote them, I was like, hey, does this help with that? And the person was like, yeah, we'll send you some.
Starting point is 00:23:55 And I was like, great. And I was like, you know, I'll do that. If I like it, I'll make a video. And he sent one to me, he sent two, he sent one to Max, and Max had one, and Max loves his pillow cube. And it's actually works for me too, it helped me. And I took a video of it, and I said, Well, you got to see that you're still on the contrary.
Starting point is 00:24:12 As a company man, I love the pillow cube. And so does my son, Max. And we took a little video. And it wasn't like scripted, I mean, I didn't beat Max. We didn't do it seven times until he got it right because he doesn't fucking listen. You know, wow. I'm kidding, we're sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:28 He nailed it on Take One. These companies, by the way, though, they'll just take a little bit of, now Bobby's saying this is what happened to him. I think Bobby worked out a whole deal to become pillow cubes main pitch man. I wish I did because what they did is they took a story that I did
Starting point is 00:24:42 and they put it into a commercial and they're using it as their ad. That's AI Bobby, they took your likeness. He's in the Venice Day sale. Well, first of all, if his AI, they'd make me better looking than that. I look like an elephant seal. Not that tick. Just got home off the road, I'm so excited to be with my pillow cube.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Oh my gosh. Are you using mom's pillow cube? Yep, I'm still in her. That's the best pillow. It's so comfy. Isn't it? Yeah. I hate motel pillows.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Yeah, we're bringing these to the hotel. Yeah. I love my kids so much. You're so cute. I'm gonna cry at you. If you do, if you love them, then stop using them like chambonet rhymes. I'm so cute. Jay. Jay. If you do if you love them then stop using them like chon bane rams
Starting point is 00:25:41 We He's so cute I it makes I'm literally ball up right now. I love him so much. I love him so much. I miss him so much. I miss him for Bobby got him in his perverted world of entertainment. This is the thing. You need to watch the idle Bobby. It could go back. Oh yeah. Before you know, it just kids in a cult.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Yeah, he's choking himself out. Choking himself out. Waking off with a pillow cube on his face all the damage hits What? Instagram because you were the fourth of July sale then you were the summer blowout sale and now you're on Instagram I think is like are you getting a cut from the sale nothing I need to call a lawyer I'll take you need to call lawyer and I'll tell you why so do I had the same problem a guy mammoth headwear You need to call lawyer and I'll tell you why soda had the same problem remember a guy mammoth headwear
Starting point is 00:26:30 It's so perfect What the spokesman and you're not getting a little kickback We have sodas mammoth headwear thing because soda poor guy they sent him a bunch of hats for free And ask him to go and it would just be cool, man If you could just send us a little message, let us know that you like the hats. And it's just him going like, whoa, not a big head, look at my head. Oh man, if it's looked at snaps on the back, aren't even, whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And then they just made that the commercial for areas of hilarious. And that's what they're doing with this. And then Dan such a push over, I think he let him, he goes, hey, sorry about that. We'll send you two more hats. And they just send you two more hats.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Well, can you find out how these companies are doing, like if they're making money? They're making money. I mean, the problem with this is, I can't, I can't, you know, that doesn't have a pillow cube. Show me the person. I gave it to them as a story.
Starting point is 00:27:21 You know what I mean? I didn't put it on my main. No, I know, but they, I gave it to them a story and I tagged them in it. Yeah. I mean, so I was like, yeah, you can use it. I don't care. Right. They put it in a commercial. Right. They stole your condo. They put me in a commercial with a bunch of other people that they gave pillows to test that did testimonials. And I was like, okay, great.
Starting point is 00:27:38 I'm going to stupid and Max was like, ah, that's awesome. Okay, great. That was three years ago. Right. You're still not. You're the independence day sale though. They did. They're using your like. I'm seeing now they did Dan dirty or actually. I mean they're using your fat like this But it's so unfair. That's the only thing I can get. It's not me. It's my old. Yeah It's the old one. You should tell me you want to be paid you want to be paid by the pound of the time I should be paid by Max's cuteness and my That's million. There's only one way to figure it out. We got to weigh it out.
Starting point is 00:28:10 You had to weigh this out. Dude Dan, they really got Dan rough, because they go, this is why celebs are going crazy with our hats. Yeah, no, they said celebrities. He was probably on camera. I'm saying they bagged the most because it puts them in a position where a bunch of people
Starting point is 00:28:23 that are looking to just go, who's that? The way they do that with the lot, I see a lot of like draft king things and bunch of people that look at us go, who's that? They do that with a lot. I see a lot of like, draft king things and little commercials like that where they're like, I'm, or you know, when I play, like solitaire or something on my phone,
Starting point is 00:28:34 it's like, here why celebrities are going crazy over this new game and it's just a guy where you're like, who's that? And it's like, oh, it's the guy who got killed early in hostile too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that guy. I bet you though. If they say you're also gonna be in summer house this year
Starting point is 00:28:48 When if they if Jay that if they sent you a pillow cube they probably cut you out of the commercial Yeah, you're probably not wrong about that even my own friend Berkrise you're cut me completely out of the cabin I'm just you just be your elbow and Christine going is a nice I wish you were doing the show with me when you saw how passive aggressively I had to handle when the trailer for Cabin with Berkreicher came out. And they not only was it up in the trailer at all, like in it, then they at the end they go,
Starting point is 00:29:16 they go to Berkreicher's Cabin, and then it starts doing that thing where it's like, Mark Norman, blah, blah, blah, blah, all the names, three screens of that, which by the second screen I was like, are they not not gonna list me and then when you see the first name go up on the third screen You go I'll be on this one. Nope All the production they literally went. Oh, that's right and then had to put me in the credits again It's the worst it sucks because you know who does that festivals do it
Starting point is 00:29:43 They let you know how they think of you by the Type the size the size of your name. I've been I've had my size changed down That hurts. Yeah, that that's bad that's bad. Yeah Played dance celebrities go and nuts over these big ass hats Slebby's going nuts over these big ass hats Labor these are going crazy with our hat one. They're made to fit big heads to they look oh Three Sorry, who's that guy who's that's the lex Burton Dan fuck
Starting point is 00:30:18 These all look like Burton Dan versions They really it's all the same fucking guy with a beard. But Dan said so he think it was look they have. Look at they have 75 bucks. It's like a big tit bra for my head. Oh, see that girl got a playboy contract to through her bra at Drake. She did. She did. Yeah. 36G. Is she like hot? They like hit her up. I mean, beauties in the eye of the beholder.
Starting point is 00:30:49 But is she fat? She's not. I don't even, I don't think she's fat. It's her face that I don't really like. Oh, let's see. I'll take a peek. What the fuck am I? To say that.
Starting point is 00:31:00 But 38G bra usually isn't a good thing. No, she's like proportionate. She's not like, um, she's fat. So that's fat. If you're abortion it to a 38G, you're fat. I don't think she's fat. I think she's sick. No, she's sick. Playboy. Well, I kind of like it's playboy today for sure. No, she's hot. But that's, I gotta see a face. If you pull up a picture of his baby mama, that's the Christine Aquaman wants that it's he's in ugly broads Well, he likes a severe feature Like a 38-g-tip. Yeah, okay. Is that what you used to call me?
Starting point is 00:31:36 The fuck is severe features is my friend severe feature Robert Kelly Can we see your face? Oh? Sorry, that's the baby mama. This is the baby. That's good That's fine. I want to see this one's ugly face. Okay. Oh Yeah, I see you're saying it's not ugly. She's just intense intense. Yeah, yeah, she's got to keep those eyebrows plucked though Cuz the eyebrows are for real. Those are common for her nose her Her eyebrow hair. Those are the eyebrows. They're the same. Absolutely. She's very hairy naturally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Those eyebrows also, if it rains, are coming down the face. For sure, those are mostly not hair, I guess. Yeah. Those are drawn on. Or that micro blade. Big. Big jugs though. 21 though.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Yeah. That's a fat tip for 21. It's also made a decision that quickly, gosh, she'll pose nude for playboy. How funny is it a playboy? Is not even a thing. That's a fat tip for 21. You can go to some major decision that quickly, oh she'll post nude for Playboy. How funny is it Playboy? Is not even a thing. That was a big deal at a time. It's worthless now. Well, let me see your face again.
Starting point is 00:32:33 That's not her, is it? Yeah. Yuck. Yeah, I did some research before I formed an opinion. It looks like Jared Fried. She looks like former Toronto Raptor's Swingguard Doug Christie. Wow.
Starting point is 00:32:47 I just pulled out. She way player. Wow. That was like a great 3D all day. But he was not an attractive man. Yeah. You bring up Doug Christie Christine. See how great that was.
Starting point is 00:32:58 That was great. I don't think it looks like at all. It was just funny to call her Doug Christie. She looks like Princess Jasmine. If Princess Jasmine. If Princess Jasmine was like a power lifter. You gotta go when he had hair. Doug Christie.
Starting point is 00:33:12 See, get it because he's also ugly. You guys get it right because he's ugly. Everything's fine. She's not always ugly. Just some pictures. What are you doing? You don't think you can be in playboy if you're always happening with you. What are you talking about? I don't know, what are you doing. What are you doing? But you don't think you can be in playboy if you're always happening with you.
Starting point is 00:33:26 What are you talking about? I don't know. What are you doing? What do you mean? Like in life, where do you get going? Are you getting any shows coming up? It's a weird way to ask. Like what did I have? What the fuck are you doing?
Starting point is 00:33:34 We just forgets on this six. Oh, what are we gonna bother with? What the fuck are you doing? Like Bobby just wake up. Who'd we book? Why is everybody in my house? Where are we? Oh no, she's just ugly. I just thought you had something.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Do you mean it like tonally? No. What are you doing? I would meant it like, what do you have something happening? I have a show so the Stanford location, New York comedy club September 7th. Great club. I played it. It's awesome. Yeah. Great club. Great club.
Starting point is 00:34:09 She's a mostly ugly. Go to her TikTok again. No, before, we were saying better, but now here's the thing. This is again, she ain't fucking me. Let's argue that. It doesn't matter. We don't have to argue that. What I say, no, it's always the point I make.
Starting point is 00:34:24 People say you're being mean, but just girl wouldn't fuck me for mean reasons. I promise and I bet some guys Would fuck her that wouldn't fuck me so I'm not you know, I have no ground. I actually like a proportionately chubby chick. No, I don't mind this. I don't my body is actually nothing but problem, but her body is also They really have to get away. First of all, that show is currently happening right now, again, the secrets of Playboy, but they are out of secrets. No, I think I told you, I have to say, Christine watched the first episode or two, and the last season was all,
Starting point is 00:34:59 people were getting raped by celebrities, and violently beaten by this one, the girls were like, we agreed to be on this TV show. We all get naked and it's like, I didn't know I was gonna have to get naked naked. Like that's the complaints it seems like. And then they were like, well, to naked show. They're like, so I did it and like agreed and signed everything. And like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Then I went, when I went home, people were like, you were naked. And I was like, what? What? It was just these idiots. It's not catching, but this girl actually, I think that's a very good picture her in the bikini. It looks like her body is actually lumpy and unattractive. No, I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Where? No. When she threw the bra on stage, did her the guy shoulder? Yeah, he's suffocating. Oh, that's a bad. It's her and the gray. That's rough. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Is she pregnant here? This is pre-abortion. Damn. You have to be hand. Age has changed you dog. I'm so mean. I'm being nice. This isn't young Karen.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I know. You can wait to attack a fat. I'm having turned the leaf. My new thing is they don't deserve criticism. They need support I don't mind that that's my new thing mommy I like the old fat hater County What was the show you you went on like a fat show and they brought you into like shit on fat people
Starting point is 00:36:19 Yeah, that's called my big fat fat That fucking pig deserves that. Don't get me wrong. She's fucking terrible human being. That's a fat girl cry on TV. She's like a rich fat girl, right? Yeah, she's a fucking millionaire. She's a fucking shit.
Starting point is 00:36:33 She's chain smog, she's fucking mean. I do not mind this, Jay. I don't, I think she's put, like, I hate, let me finish. She's gonna belly. I don't like when they are, like, they're fat with small titties or big titties with a small But her butt tits thighs everything matches up. She looks Disturbingly almost identical to the girl who I told you Kevin Hart Like that was a hookin up with me and then she just blew Kevin in the back seat of my car
Starting point is 00:37:01 Way to throw Kevin in the bus he told us he told that story on stage with I can't believe he did it. When he started telling it, I was like, you sure you went out to the story, you're saying, yeah, she's wearing a she's doing a transformation where she pushes the camera in and then the transformation. She looks just as bad. It's more like a transformation. That's the influencer little thing. So is there something to be like, listen, be a big girl. Is there something to know to like when you also is there something to be like listen be a big girl Is there something though to like you know that there is a weird shadow Synchol created by your belly button in your dress
Starting point is 00:37:34 Throw a piece of tape something this even that out that's what I used to have my belly button hernia and somebody called it out on stage Oh my lord that must hurt hurt. Some guy went, what's that? I went to surgery a week later. I bet, you're inbilical cord, you know what I'm saying? I heard a guy go, who guy went, quaid. Turn on the react, turn on the react. Get an atmosphere to Mars.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I don't know if we'll be able to come back with any information, but I will say it's possible. We might have a minute when we get back. You can hear Karen Feehan on her podcast, only Feehan's available wherever you find your podcast. So she's absolutely fucking hilarious. Check her out September 7th. Big J's. She's gonna be in the Stanford Connecticut at the New York comedy club.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Great club. You gotta go check her out one of the funniest and big J comedy dot com. He's doing the skanks tour the 10th through the 12th Robert Kelly live dot com I got a port Smith to tomorrow night Nashua Lakonia this weekend come check me out my tiny home tour. I love port Smith. I love it too come come down do a set tomorrow night. Sure. All right. Come in. What the hell was that wink about? I'm going to tell my wife to don't he went maybe in the skiff Skiff me. No, we'll skip it. We'll talk about Skip with me after I will be right back. It's the bonfire Everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show if you want the whole thing
Starting point is 00:39:00 Go to serious xm.com slash bonfire for a special offer Go to seriesXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.