The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Moist Muffins (feat. Nikki Dinki)

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

It's Nikki Dinki vs Chef Jacob in The Great Muffin Bake-Off! Bobby Kelly judges and gets sick!!! ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Big J. Ocarson and I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to full two hour long episodes of the Bonfire? Two hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. I've been told no more to make it And I never had that recipe again I've never... Man, we were at Witt's End trying to find a song about baking her cakes.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Yeah, this didn't go... You didn't get your job though. It's okay. It's a song about baking your cakes. Yeah, this didn't agree your job though It's a great song. Who is that? Donuts summer. I love Donuts. It's green and disco dude. Have a little respect. Hey man I was alive when she was fucking pumping them out. This is my time son What you have a little have a little respect for me Which favorite Donuts ever saw? Yeah, do a disco actually favorite Donuts Summer song. Fucking this one. No. And then the one about fucking the, the song pepper. What? So I'm pepper. Are you making up a song? No, dude.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I think the one where she goes like this party and all night. Yeah, I like the song when she's like, ooh, sexy, sexy, sexy unicorn. There's the entrance. Everybody's the Vod fire faction talk series X I'm one of three Big jokes and Dan Soda robber Kelly hanging out with us all day today Our guest in studio right now very excited to have her back. It's a new year. It's a new us We're getting healthy with our favorite healthy cook Nikki Nikki chef chef cook
Starting point is 00:02:02 I said cook cookie. Nikki Dinky Chef chef. Cook. I said cook. He's working the line. Yeah. I'll look at chef. I need some chicken fingers and a guy guys.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Are we 86 on that board? Okay. Of course, Nikki's book. No more, no more veggies. That's would not be the right name. Her book more veggies. Please available at Nikki dinky cooking.com, follow nikki on Instagram at nikki-dinky.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Great to have you back. I'm so excited to be here, and you know why? Because you got scared. You get to take a peek at Jacob. Yeah, I'm here here and take a peek at Jacob. I never got into meet Jacob. Oh, really? I stalked him a little bit.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Not into him. He's the best. But, and he's actually more handsome in person, I must say. Where you go, dude? Like, you need to take a Jacob. You're husband so alive? He is, he isn't playing Well, there's any playing accidents Jacob is my alpha to shelf wasn't listening
Starting point is 00:02:52 Yeah, Jacob is a very good-looking man. Jacob you're not single are you? I am single. I don't feel Powerful I mean powerful man. Central every time we shake hands. I'm, am I falling for this guy? He can hold quite a, quite a bounty. No, Bobby doesn't. I don't even know where I'm at. Do you think? Um, this is going to be big because a cooking day here on the show. There's so many exciting things. I'm excited for.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Well, Nick, when Nikki comes in, always very exciting. We're like, we're going to have some delicious food and then find out after how delicious this then she hits us with like the well guess what you just ate carrots You piece of shit. No, those brownies were made from zucchini We're always so excited. Oh my god. I need to unbutton my pants is like or do you because that was mostly cabbage? Oh my god, and now you'll be regular You're gonna have to shit for good reasons in a little bit. That's book to you. Yeah, shit for good reasons. Shit for good reasons Please call it that copyright. Yeah, you gotta give me a thank you at least Nikki was nice to meet you, but I didn't come here to make friends. I came here to win
Starting point is 00:03:55 Jacob you have no idea Shit dude, I love this now. Let's get this. Let's get first first. We have a we have a Prelimat I thought it's gonna happen later I don't know if you can't even be putting until you eat your meat. Do you even listen to the pink Floyd? Now here is the recipe Yeah, this is good. No listen. There's nothing wrong with the tuna casserole. It's just that can tuna is not my favorite Well, I'm gonna take a look at the menu see he may have pulled this right out of the sea. Lou just showed Somebody wasn't raised near Tn. Acto Jersey. Nikki literally everything on there is from a can
Starting point is 00:04:38 That's that's copy tell you something Nikki that's the least of these What you're gonna read there can Can you read it a lot of first-please, some of the things that you're gonna keep? No, it's funny. Yeah, I actually hadn't read the instructions, and obviously he's a very talented recipe writer, which is something that I always respect. There are great instructions in here like, drain that shit, mix until you hear the glop.
Starting point is 00:04:59 And everyone knows what that means. Add more Regino more, I said. Now, can I ask you a professional question? Yes, of course. Is it known in the industry as go hop? Oh, I mean, everyone knows what go hop is. When you make a casserole, if I asked you what's your gloop for your casserole,
Starting point is 00:05:16 would you have an answer? I say a heavy gloop, but you always want a heavy gloop for a casserole. But what would you think in a casserole, the ingredients of go hop? Because blue has an answer to this. You know what? Actually, honestly, I think the glove is like it's like that sound as your spoon goes through and it kind of like pulls on that viscous material and go
Starting point is 00:05:33 But I'm telling you in lose recipe. It's the name of an ingredient is the glope. What do you think the glope consists of? Well, I mean it sounds like a lot of canned crap Yes, yes, can you actually got it? system. Well, I mean, it sounds like a lot of canned crap. Yes. Yes. Can you actually got it? Can. I'm a professional. Cleo mushroom, right? Yes. From a can. I don't know if it says it on there, but Lou, do you want to give? We know what?
Starting point is 00:05:54 No, I hear black Lou right and got this heated up. I've never seen more pain. Look on Bobby's. He already opened it. Can I open mine? Yes. Yes. Do we have a fork for our guest? No, it's very this is the setup is oh god. I heard oh great. There's some frozen peas Also one of my least favorite do you think those were frozen? Oh, of course. I'm that was very stupid of me
Starting point is 00:06:17 Can't of course can't think it's all from a gas station. Okay. You're supposed to say that afterwards No, this is good. gonna this you know what? Jesus Christ I just stopped saying that myself to say we'll tell you after we're here guys 279 a gallon of the snow cover that's wrong Nikki, I know we're having a competition here, but I don't wish this on you. Oh, you're not gonna eat it? I don't know. You won't, you refuse. We just don't want to bother you.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I'm gonna have to take you. I'll be right back. Thank you. I already had some, and it made my eye hurt. You're right. I don't understand how that works. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I buddy, I'm so sorry, I did enjoy it earlier, but then the second half of it, my mouth won't stop bothering. All right, here you go, Mickey is a fork of it. Yeah, a big moment.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah, it's a piece of it. It's like telling me, like God be with you. We've been finishing with someone makes tuna salad, but they don't chop up the tuna at all. Thank you. It's like tuna shoulders. How you doing? She didn't have any peas on that fork.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Yes, she did, that's all I pay. All right. It's better than I expected Whatever that means Huge dude. That's so big a little. It's it's really not that bad. You don't have to eat that much. You can stop now I'm gonna Mickey, can I ask you? For a little bit. There's an argument going on inside lose head just wait Some people don't think war is terrible
Starting point is 00:08:01 Wave for it listen and hit you like a, a minute to two and a half minutes. I'm not gonna lie, I'm about an hour past and I'm in some real pain. I'm glad to be really close to Dan for this moment when I start burping it up. Oh, I can't smell. You can't smell. It's okay. It's okay. It smells, you know, every single thing you eat it.
Starting point is 00:08:18 It is a weird thing now. A couple questions there. One, the top of the whole thing is individually wrapped craft slices. Yeah, which is I actually like a good American slice. I like it just Recky into my mouth out of the package as a little snack. Snacking cheese first. I'm not Throwing it in any kind of a casserole or any kind of a dish There's an argument going on inside a war inside of Lou that says do I put more or less a regano in a dish that I would argue requires zero Regano in every recipe except this one for tuna casserole
Starting point is 00:08:52 I thought the addition of a regano kind of cut through that creamy quality of maybe the cream of mushrooms What do you do? Do you have some do you have her husband hostage? Why is she saying these positive things about this? He's that can't took a little bit of web that can taste away. I kind of like the oregano and add a little bit of I never thought oregano would have been a prize by him. Here's what's blowing my mind. It's more that she's praising it for the reason he says he goes, look, I've made you a gas station casserole, but I he thinks he's judging it up with the regano.
Starting point is 00:09:21 You know, I'm a little bit of lemon and like you might be on to something. Now granted, I kind of wish this taste was no longer in my mouth, but like sure. I want to mint so bad I will suck somebody's dick. Yeah. Well, thank God. I'm sorry. Great news.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I apologize. Jacob keeps minting his dick hole. So we call him the outboard. Tick-tacks. Jacob's over there so serious. Like he's over there. Oh, when it comes down, when it comes down to itacks Jacob's over there so serious Like he's like he's literally Oh when it comes down when it comes down to it
Starting point is 00:09:48 Jacob's a competitor all the way And he believes in his cooking and I will say Jacob is a very good cook Yeah, no I've heard that I've actually heard very good things He's probably serious He's probably serious about his competitive I mean I like that Do we have an introduction to this?
Starting point is 00:10:05 Jamie, it's your show, isn't it? We do have an introduction. Good call. I believe first, Nikki wanted to hand a few things out. We're gonna hand some things out first. Absolutely. So if you don't mind Jacob, I might go first. I think the one thing that Jacob may have not understood about the assignment was that it's not just about a muffin, Jacob. It's about an experience. Oh, I know. Blue, please. We're going to start with the placemats. Now, when you're going to have a muffin, I don't want you to just have a muffin.
Starting point is 00:10:37 You're so keyboard. Why don't we have a keyboard? You need a keyboard. You need a keyboard. This monitor doesn't turn on. This is all fake. A muffin should be placed upon a bed of soft cloth. And also just in case I'm at muffin, maybe dribbles its way onto your chin, some cloth napkins, a fork, a knife, because we're not animals here. We don't eat with our hands. Jacob, you're getting
Starting point is 00:11:01 fucking ear hold right now. Am I? Basically when we're eating a muffin, a muffin of this quality. Yeah. You want to make sure that it feels like a warm hug. Yes. You lose just through that placement napkin at you. With the positioning. I mean I'm in. I never would have finished school. Where does the napkin go? You know what it goes anywhere that you wanted to go, James. I don't want to brag Nikki, but I grew up setting the table for my mommy. How are you? So I know it goes on the left side of the placement. I don't want a braggnicky, but I grew up setting the table for my mommy.
Starting point is 00:11:25 So I know it goes on the left side of the place, Matt. That's right. You know what? I'm going to do the right thing and give myself little... Maybe on your lap, Lou. Did you mind spreading that on his lap? Nicely. You know what?
Starting point is 00:11:35 I'm just going to go ahead and just give you a full steakhouse napkin fold. You guys want real quick? So you go over here, you go a little little bang boom, you give a little bum-bing give a little light don't go away I'm gonna make it look out of this. I'm gonna be real impressed. No, I'm not gonna get a duck But I'll tell you what yeah, that actually is really good Somebody asked for a duck There's no way you're making that into a duck. You don't think so? Okay, listen It just shows that you guys had to work in the surface industry for a long time. Yeah, welcome to Cher-Shea La Nikki I like my napkin like Nikki. I like my napkin.
Starting point is 00:12:05 This is my napkin. No, one second, Lou. Actually, can we pull out the candles, Lou? Oh, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I wanted to make sure you guys felt at home, and my muffins are best looked at at candlelight. So I brought some candles to have the right setting, the right mood, some might say.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Those are real candles. Those are real candles from my table at home, I'm sorry. I love it. So after you enjoy my muffins by Candle Light, we're gonna present the muffins on the... one with the cupid hearts. Oh yeah, let's go for it! I also wanted to make you guys feel at home so I brought some things I thought you might have at home.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Like a framed picture of Kelly Clarkson. I love Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, that's right, that's right. I love Kelly. That Kelly! It's my favorite host. We've got a framed picture of Wendy Williams, which I can only assume is in J's house That is all my dinner table actually, so now you can enjoy your muffins feeling like you're at home
Starting point is 00:12:55 Do you argue may actually you may nothing for? Don't you get in a picture of a living father? That's very cool. Yeah, you want to share this one with me? No, it's alright. You know, I grew up in now you may enjoy the actual muffin and as you open the container You'll just go back and feed you to the muffin nestled in a bed and One thing that Jacob might not realize is that a muffin is always better Jumbo size because Christine can we get some romantic lighting? Please, please, please, come to some of these lights. This is unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Oh, no, before you guys heat, I just need to ask Nikki something. Nikki, are these heated up? Are these warm? They don't need to be too cold. Oh, warm temperature. They don't need to be too much. They were recently made.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Oh my God. It's so warm. Look, it's large muffin with a crumble topping. And guys, you know what? We shouldn't just be eating a muffin by itself. Should we be? No, I think these are best enjoyed with a cup of coffee or tea I just took a wild guess and thought that maybe Jay would enjoy a Grande ice-chai three pumps of tea. Oh milk
Starting point is 00:14:01 I'm excited to tell that You've been told that before Jages Thanks giving Thanks, Kimmy Of course a hot hot coffee warm cream no sugar because you're you're sweet enough Wow you are the best now you may enjoy your muffin Yeah, check up your muffins looked like they didn't rise that well Did you check the expiration date on your baking soda? I actually did. It was 2024. Really? Because you really want to change it every six months because it loses its chemical. Oh, here we have a good. I will admit this is my first time making a jumbo muffin, but when coming on the
Starting point is 00:14:58 bonfire show, I believe in taking risks. I thought that I got a nice rise and when I cut into one myself, I must say I was super happy with the crumb of the muffin, the moistness. Oh, the granulated sugar on top is dancing on my palate, and I'm, I do. I do, right? I noticed in your recipe,
Starting point is 00:15:15 you didn't call for toasting the pecans, which I did. I needed to show up your recipe because I feel just putting them on top. Sometimes it doesn't bring out the flavor of the pecans in the oven. I pre-tose them and then I put them in the stream. Jacob, oh my god, what I felt was that.
Starting point is 00:15:32 But the guys will taste the difference. They may or may not, because I actually left the pecans off the muffin. Mm. Oh! Oh! Oh my god! But I mean, I followed your recipe.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I just had to fix a couple of things. That's all. Thank you. The guys take time out in the action. Black Lou, you got something for us? I do have an announcement. Lou, you ready? Oh, I am ready.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Welcome to the great Bonfire Bake Off. Muffin Edition presented by Big Jim Productions. I'm your host, the Black Tiger, Short King, Louis Johnson. Today, our own Jacob Atat, a near-professional baker with an expertise in healthy cooking, is taking on, Nikki Dinky,
Starting point is 00:16:14 a food network powerhouse, daytime talk show queen, baker chef, and mom. Our judges today are three hilarious comedians who know their way around a muffin or three Dan Soder Hey Bobby Kelly Today the contestants are making vanilla yogurt coffee cake muffins. Oh, the muffins will be judged on look taste and texture
Starting point is 00:16:38 Judges you've now had Nikki dinky's muffin correct unbelievable I like it. I like you and you correct? Unbelievable. Okay, I like it. I like the innuendo there. Oh, I know there's so much talk about my muffin. I thought about that earlier. I was like, oh gosh, these guys are gonna... I'm Christians, aren't they? But notice, notice Nikki when he says it, I do this.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Mm-hmm, yeah. You're better than that, Jay. Just see now, I do this. I'm a real muffin munching celebrate. Okay. I get down. Judges, after you've tasted Nikki's cupcakes Have score cheese in front of you if you wouldn't mind all the thing as you're eating them often
Starting point is 00:17:12 What did you like about that look? I feel like about the texture and the taste I feel bad though for Jacob. I think it's unfair Oh, it's not that's exactly what I tried to do. I got I got gastric sleeve surgery and I'm really full. And I haven't I haven't had yours yet. So I'm not gonna eat. I'm not gonna eat any more of this. And Bob the killer. I just don't know if you notice you also have a coffee. I thought that you seemed like a strong black coffee kind of guy. That's where I am. That's the ones to do. Make sure that you notice that coffee that I purchased for my own dollar. Are we going on a one to 10 scale? So what you're gonna do is you're I'll be quons to do Make sure that you notice that coffee that I purchase Are we going on a one-to-ten scale
Starting point is 00:17:52 So what you're gonna do is you're gonna taste Jacob's first and then we just tasted we all take the Nicks first Yeah, I'm sorry. You're gonna take Jacob's next and then decide which one you like the taste better Which one you like so it's just a check for each one absolutely just gonna search ones better. There's no Okay, okay? I was writing down agitives for each one. Absolutely. Just going to search for one's better. There's no. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Okay. Okay. I was writing down adjectives. No, it was just, I got all whipped up. Moist. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Deleteable. Del mean, this is the most. Yeah. People are like a moist chicken. You want a moist chicken? No, okay, maybe chicken, but maybe not today. You want a juicy steak. Nick, do you feel you put love into your cooking?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Oh, Jacob, I put love. So you're passionate? I don't put love into it. I put sex appeal. When you taste my food, you think hot fuck action to the max. Okay. All right. I'm fucking excited. I don't know if you remember, but Nick, he's done some soft course. When you taste my food you think hot fuck action to the max I don't know if you remember but Nikki's done some soft core stuff on early days HBO Actually, I did the superannos on HBO and ever since that show there was a picture of someone on a pole Mm-hmm, and it came up on Google search as Nikki dinky was actually wasn't a HBO on a pole
Starting point is 00:19:03 No, you're in the broad can he's hanging out with a day? I for a long time. I was that other blonde. Can I ask a question? Why? Why for the love of Jesus do we have tuna casserole before muffins? Well dinner. I mean, was this to really fuck things up? Yeah. I think Lou thought I was to lift spirits up. I just wanted her to say it wasn't horrible and that's what she said. That's what it is. It's good once. Yeah. They wouldn't take the
Starting point is 00:19:30 state wouldn't take your kids away for feeding it to them once in a while. Well, all the elements were not expired. I checked the dates on all those fucking cans. You know what? If your attitude wasn't so shitty, I was going to put you in a writing on my ballot. You know, this isn't fair to me because this room is so cold, I'm losing my- I know, I'm losing my- I'm shaking, you know, like, I'm losing my- Jacob, get it.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Jacob, get it out, so we need to try both. I can take it, take it, muffins out here. I feel that warming up muffins actually enhances its flavor and it's a better sensory experience for the hosts, but I'll leave it up to you. Maybe I'm crazy. Mine, maybe they don't look as pretty as Nicki's, but I want the extra mile.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Wow. So Jacob, you mentioned that you toasted your pecans. I had a time, I don't know if you noticed that the cooking temperature of my muffin is actually 400 degrees, which is higher than normal. And considering those pecans or pecans, sit on the top of the muffin, I do believe that they're adequately toasted
Starting point is 00:20:22 as they get exposure to high heat for approximately 20 minutes Which most people would say at 400 is plenty of time to toast and nuts. Yeah In the peak cons If only they were jumbo size I'm gonna say Jacob what you guys drink with this? What do you want me to eat this over? What are you they're gonna eat those with their hands Jacob? I mean I'm gonna taste my sweetest. What do you want me to eat this over? Pecan's. What are you, are they gonna eat those with their hands, Jacob? I mean, I'm gonna say right now, I was like a little nervous opening of those.
Starting point is 00:20:49 When I, oh, I am pleasantly surprised at the visual, I mean, I'm pleasantly surprised. Look at that lift. I mean, muffins would lift. Taste that pecan, toasted pecan. Tell me what you think, guys. Rat in tinfoil. Now guys as you're tasting Jacob's cupcake, excuse me, muffin.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Please try to think about the texture, the taste, and the overall visual look. Oh, I can hear all the chewing sounds. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sure you guys are clapping. No, I'm sorry. That part of life, Ben. Okay. Nick no, maybe For your next cookbook please leave a little tip maybe tell them the toes because I don't know
Starting point is 00:21:31 Jacob I'm always you know ready to learn But I'd like to just point out that these are both my recipe Dane so if the recipe is really good from Jacob or if it's still in, yeah no matter what Nikki wins. That's basically a win win. Can I, uh, I guess I'm thought I don't want to just circle because I can smell Jacob's muffin from the heating. It's very nice, nice. A wafting cinnamon.
Starting point is 00:21:56 You can smell that cinnamon in the air. I didn't get that one, you, they, yours but I don't know, maybe I'm crazy. It's so cold in here, I might have missed it for sure you seem a little stuffy you okay do you need to go home we can just call you with the results we could what's the top in the strucill it's the you know but cinnamon pecan strucill say what Nikki's coffee really helped your muffin out I like I said I believe in the experience. Oh my god. Not just simple.
Starting point is 00:22:27 What a bunch of little princes we are today. Huh? Just having our warm little cook. We had our gloop to start with all the vitamins in it. Our vitamin gloop. That wasn't fair to either of us. No, that wasn't. I mean, little I love you.
Starting point is 00:22:41 To fill your nose holes with twice cooked tuna. Yeah. It goes. I was pappy on. To fill your nose holes with with twice cooked tuna I was papy on So I guess we'll start with scores. Yes, please Well, it's a they're once 50 50 which one wins in each thing we have a circle Well, there's three right so there's bound to be a We don't have to circle necessarily we don't have to circle we get a go around the room You don't the circle day just explain your answer. All right, we could talk it out too First it really serious when there's like sheets involved. I'm gonna start with homework
Starting point is 00:23:10 I'm gonna really start with look. We're gonna all do look first And then we'll send it back around so we don't always have to be the bear of bad news first sure with look Well, it came down to this Nikki knows presentation Big dog gonna eat wolf Well, it came down to this. Nikki knows presentation. Big dog gonna eat wolf, okay? Brought in a placemat, napkins. Came in a lovely little box that I broke open
Starting point is 00:23:35 and it was in a little bed. It's like a like a hot sleeping. What are you doing in there, you big muffin? And then I took a nice fresh bite. I could only call Jacob's presentation Dumpster Raccoon presentation. Came in and hot tin foil, like I was getting a ball of black tar heroin. He also didn't look at me when he gave it to me, like I almost like, take this.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Yeah, I don't want it anymore. He gave it to Black Lou, like it was dropping off a vial of Crock. Like he was gonna drop it in my window. He was gonna Randy Johnson's sidearm it to Lou. Yeah, he was just tossing it around. So look. All of confidence. Well, for looks, I arm it to Lou. Yeah, he was just tossing it around. So look, called confidence. Well, for looks,
Starting point is 00:24:08 I give it to Nikki. Okay, it was beautiful presentation. Thank you, thank you very much. Bobbi, your thoughts? Although, Nikki came out with the napkin, this the, the, the, flatware,
Starting point is 00:24:20 as you called in the business. The picture of Kelly Clarkson. The picture of Kelly Kaley to the coffee, the box. Do it like with. I mean, and there was some type of confetti in the box that that That's it was I was overwhelmed but and then when Jacob gave me his thing. I was like I was like this is From my grandmother. This is from my my mom. This is
Starting point is 00:24:43 There was no... They were all familiar. They didn't have this stuff growing up. I had, they baked this thing with what they had and they put it in this thing and they handed it to you to go to school and you opened it up and it wasn't big. It didn't have all the stuff, but it was from the heart. And I felt, and I loved your presentation, but I felt that Jacob handed me my childhood. Wow. He handed my dead my dead grandmother. Manie, darling, came back to me right there and I felt I felt I smile one over my face when
Starting point is 00:25:17 I opened that up and I saw that little that little muffin that hey, maybe it's not the biggest one. Maybe it doesn't have all the hurrah. Maybe it doesn't have a beautiful Kelly Clarkson when she was her hottest, when she lost the weight, but gained a little bit back. Well, filled out, just a fill out a little bit. Fill out a little bit. She's not, you know, she doesn't look sick,
Starting point is 00:25:35 but she looks good. Yeah. I just, I love that, but I think Jacob, for me, really hit home and it was like, you know, that's what I wanted you to feel that's why felt that goddamn it Real connection happening right now. Yeah, I went for I'm gonna I'm gonna be a sensation over presentation. That's fair That's fair. I try to deliver on both, but you know, I'm the tiebreaker on this one. I guess I'm and I have to say Nikki did present a picture of our queen
Starting point is 00:26:05 Nicky did present a picture of our queen. The candles unable to be lit. That's a serious XM issue. That's not your fault at all. The candles were going. It would be a lot of all that. I did bring a lighter, but I think Lou was like, this is not a smart decision. They won't let you can't light life, live, live fire in here. Understood. the classy presentation of the the napkin the the placemat all fantastic and It was even done with a bit of like a wink and a nod. There was a little joke behind it Jacob legitimately was so ready to get these out because he was worried about the temperature that he handed to me like He was frustrated with a fat homeless person that keeps walking into a soup kitchen for more And he just didn't want to eat.
Starting point is 00:26:45 He was like, here. Here, take your little bowl. Like here, just get it and go, man. You can only have one a day. Like you're on the George, a timing is everything. You don't keep a five star meal in the kitchen. It goes out when it's ready. I hear the argument.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Like a souffle. But on the tie breaker of pre-sentate, the look. Pre-sentation, look. Fingers crossed. There on the tiebreaker of pre-sentate the look, presentation, look, fingers crossed. There was the dusting of the granulated sugar, which I pointed out. I'm going to have to give it a look to Nikki. It's like the advantage to Nikki. So look goes to Nikki. Look to you, Jake.
Starting point is 00:27:15 In her own recipe, she says, if you're too lazy to do this trussel, you can just put sugar on top. But I don't know. That's not it. Jacob, I did both that. It's so. So what you said you didn't use pecans? I didn't know. That's not a thing. Jacob, I did both of that. It's so, so look at that. You didn't use pecans. I didn't do the pecans by did a strusel.
Starting point is 00:27:30 So I did a strusel and a little bit of sugar because I have a strusel, we'll say. So look goes to Nikki, but I think it's that of, I think your taste last. I think texture should be nice. Yeah, you're right. Okay, you're actually right. That's coming around on me.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah. Start with texture. Okay. Okay. I was why like I very much enjoyed The texture of Nikki's, but it is a dense It's a very dense cake and Jacob did in his in his braggadociousness. He kept pointing out that That thing is light It is delicate is airy. It doesn't feel like you're going to have a rock in your stomach when you're done.
Starting point is 00:28:08 I don't feel like fluids are going to muck it up. And it was delicious. I'm going to give the texture. I'm going to give the nod to Jacob on texture. He did get some nice rise for once in a life. Boom. Oh, this is suck on that, dude. I think I'm gonna throw up
Starting point is 00:28:27 Chris of the tuna I You have to the muffins are not gonna not keeping the tuna down to this push the muffins up my mouth my tongue won't stop staying wet I think it's supposed to stay wet. No, no, no, no Not not it's throw up way. It's throw up. Oh, it's like it's like trying to swallow the I'm trying to swallow it down. I'm trying to mentally get over this I don't know if I can and I don't know where you guys want me to go if you want me to throw up in the barrel I really wish I'm blue I love you man it was really good once you can't do it twice it's not a two-time meal that's to eat it and throw it the fuck out and give it to the dog it's a good agreed. It's a good woof anyways.
Starting point is 00:29:07 So make a casserole big enough to be consumed in the next two minutes or three minutes after you make it. Go go go, it's go go go go, casserole, almost go. All right, we're going, we're going texture. Okay, texture, I have to say. It seems so upset about that. Went.
Starting point is 00:29:21 You sweating. Yeah. I think we're gonna have to judge here. I'm still gonna have COVID. That's right. That's fun. It's right here. That about went you sweating Yeah, COVID It's right here and my mouth won't stop Do you ever want your I have a little water I you're in your head about the about eating gas station ingredients No, no, no, no, I don't something something in something in the chemical makeup of what when he when he microwaved it something Happen like gamma rays or something went down in the chemical makeup with the peas and the paprika whatever the fuck and now It's probably the glob that brought it together, dude. Don't say glob it makes me want to call it. Okay
Starting point is 00:30:02 Okay, now I'm gonna trigger. I want it the texture I'm gonna say No, they give me going as Kelly. Yeah Kelly Clarkson. Just look at that me. She wants me She told me talk to her about the tattoo. Okay. Now when I opened up Your texture Talk to her about the tech. Okay, now when I opened up your texture, Nikki, it was great. I mean, the top of it was great. And the muffin top is what we want, right?
Starting point is 00:30:31 You really know, I mean, you really don't give a fuck about the other half. But in my eyes, the other half is very important. If the muffin top is kind of easy to do, but the bottom part is texture. That's where most people even check out. Most people check out at the muffin top, and those are amateurs.
Starting point is 00:30:50 That's an amateur muffin eater. I've been eating muffins. I've been suckin' on muffins my whole life. Suckin' muffins. I'm a muff sucker. Yep. And it matters on the second half. That bottom part of the muff. If you can't get in there and like that and
Starting point is 00:31:07 I have to say I don't have that pose but I You I gotta say I'm gonna have to say, man, Nikki, the texture of his muffin, of Jake's muffin was fucking really great. There it is. I mean, here's the thing, because the top, look at this. The top, it doesn't oops shit Sorry, the talk to it does it's not off
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah, then I go over here and it kind of came off Mm-hmm and the texture of it. It's still one piece. It's one unit. Well, Jake And this is a hard one too because yeah the both the textures of an insane the top of it But I'm saying as the whole muffin now Here's the thing texture, two out of three. Texture goes to Jacob, Jacob. I don't mean to pile on. Texture was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:32:11 The way Bobby said it perfectly, the bottom, the texture was all there. The bottom of the mouth. Yeah, the bottom. All the licks was. Yeah, it was, and I think now to defend Nikki. Everyone loves the fan. I think Mickey was only a couple of tears over here, but I think to defend Nikki, Nikki was making a larger muffin than normal, so the texture might have been thrown
Starting point is 00:32:34 off by that. However, my first time, however, Jacob, it's a nice box. Jacob went in a nice box. Jacob went with what he could get points on any win after texture and Jacob. I think that was very smart of you. Yeah. Texture goes to Jacob Todd. So we do officially have a tie right now between Nikki and Jacob. Where Nikki has got looks. Jacob's got to touch here. So confident over there. Look at him. Now we turn to his roots. Two inches. Because we're we we have a limited amount of time left. Yeah. It's true. So we go to taste and I'll start this off. And I'm gonna tell you how you're gonna throw up? Should we have the Bobby?
Starting point is 00:33:07 Should we have Bobby do taste first? We go throw up. Yeah, you guys, do your taste first. Taste. Taste. That's, yeah, that's what you gotta say. Is this so much heavy breathing on the side of the wall? Taste.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Let me do it again. Yes. I won't quite. Websters defines taste. I would have, I'm on quite. Websters defines taste. I would have, I'm gonna say this. They both tasted great. Jacob's top was fantastic. But Nikki's top and bottom taste wise.
Starting point is 00:33:39 The taste. I'm talking just taste. Just taste, that's a word, that's what we're talking about. The taste, the bottom was a little sweeter than Jacob's bottom. Bobby I love you Bobby. I love you. Thank you. I absolutely agree with what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Here's the thing about the taste. Niggies I found the sweet bottom from the top of the bottom. You got a sweet bottom and I found the sweet bottom from the top of the bottom. She's got a sweet bottom. And I found myself with the sweetness going back for more. To the bottom. To the bottom. All the way, I wanted to all the way top to bottom,
Starting point is 00:34:14 full taste. Jacob, I thought your taste was, it was there, but it didn't draw me back the way Niki's tasted. Fair enough. Niki's taste brought me back in like Al Pacino and Godfather Part III. Right, where I think I'm out, and keep him right back in. That means officially, before I even give my thing.
Starting point is 00:34:33 I guess I can't win. You can't win. Unless you want to, or that, no, you can't win. It's not how it works. It's fair enough. I'm not good at math. What's your opinion? Well, let me give my well before. I made the trip. Mine's fair enough. I'm not good at math. Well, let me give my well before. I made the trip.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Might as well give you a chance at it. I actually think I respect your opinion the most. You're the most serious about this and I think you have the most experience. That's nuts. With muffins. It does look like that. That's crazy. I feel like you really get down on some pastries. Yeah, I want you to go ahead and muffin prints of the bonbons. That was crazy. It's crazy. Hey, muffin man, go ahead. I don't like overly sweet stuff. Hey, living with someone who lives with muffin top, what did you think of my muffin top?
Starting point is 00:35:20 Jacob, so Nicky's did taste fantastic, all the way through the bottom where I would say Jacob the thing that went wrong for my personal taste only Is that the there I say the Peacans pecans call it what you will Made the whole thing Nuddyer that I wanted it to feel a little earthier than I was looking for from the thousand of for like a sweet Dazzardy thing Jacob crumbly Jacobs reminded me a little more of like a good tasting healthy morning breakfast alternative Versus a dessert which I know a muffin is that but also when you get like a chocolate chip or a blueberry muffin
Starting point is 00:35:59 You're not looking for breakfast. That's definitely cake. That's a treat. It's a cake and let's keep in mind guys all these muffins have a can of beans shit oh what the fuck did she just say that's healthy what oh Bobby you know that there was beans in that there's a can of beans what kind of beans in this case we use cannellini beans, but any white bean What are you guys doing to me? I had stomach surgery. I can't eat this shit. Can't beans? I can't eat gas station and then a fucking muffin bean Bobby the recipes right there in front of you
Starting point is 00:36:40 You're fucking head sweat my mouth in front of you. What fucking head sweat in my mouth? What? My mouth's been watering for fuck's sake. What we don't know is the surgeon told Bobby Muncer earlier he goes, just know nothing's made of beans. Really? That could be the only thing that we know.
Starting point is 00:36:52 What do you think Bobby's upset because he could just eat healthy muffins and not gotten surgery? But now I was like, what? I didn't want you to do the casserole. I thought there was going to be an issue. Bobby, I swear to God, I did see you coming around just so you know, when I saw you eating it standing up, walking when we were off air. Right.
Starting point is 00:37:10 You took it. I was like, I was like, dude, dude, dude, I go, I was going like, wait for a word on air. Wait a word on air. And but I wanted you to stop. And then it was such a warning that DJ Lou, as I said, informed you, goes, well, before you do that, I just got all those things in a gas station. Yeah, but I want to know what was it? Where was the gas station, the boss? Oh, I just got all those things in a gas station. Yeah, but I wanna know what was, where was the gas station, the broth?
Starting point is 00:37:27 Oh, it was just like a royal farm or something. No, it's a Welsh farms. Welsh farms. Which is cousin to the wawa. It's a wawa, it's wawa's cousin with like a lazy eye. Wait, you took down some tuna castles before we even went in there? Every past year.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Yeah, because I had about a house play. It was the word farm in it. But then they got cold and then and then Reheated it and reheating microwave tuna that did not work like it's fish. I forgot it's it's a fish and you don't reheat No, not by the time it's not a fish anymore by time it gets to that fucking BP station Yeah, it's an annenbeta fish for weeks at that point fish Of fish days or so that thing has in kissed water in a fucking week.
Starting point is 00:38:06 My tongue won't stop sweat. This is such a tough day for Bobby. And it really has been a rough day. But it's a good day for you. Because you remain the champ. Yeah, let's get back to me. So that shows Nikki Dinky has one the great muffin bake off.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry. But you know what, Rocky? But you know what, Rocky? You fought through the last round, Jacob. Yeah. You're just a guy off the street. You're a club fighter.
Starting point is 00:38:29 She's only Rocky. She's a baller. She's a baller. She's a baller. She's a baller. I think next time we got a like we need one of Jacob's recipes. They ain't going to be a next time. You know?
Starting point is 00:38:37 Yeah. They ain't going to be no rematch. I don't want one. Oh, but there was still one. That's the whole point. Even if he thinks he doesn't want to rematch now he does he does This is gonna get a Jacob he's more into me than I expected I was feeling a little like I think Jacob did a great job with what he had
Starting point is 00:38:53 I mean if any he is the rocky of the situate he came in yeah and at the end of this thing you didn't win dude But you know what? Hey, you were rocky actually that was wrong music to play you rocky Nicky you're not getting over We are the champions Rocky one you lost But you won you don't even plan on winning you just went against a professional chef chef considering I cook every day This is from my personal cook look and I only won by like one Yeah, kid all the bells and whistle bells and whistle. Hey, Jacob, it's not about how hard you get. It's about how you get it and get back up. That's right. By the way, she's cooking every day for a bunch of
Starting point is 00:39:29 kids and has to do all this stuff too. You're just cooking and talking to a bunch of replicat Titanic artifacts. It's sharp. It's true. It's pickle. It's sharp. Hey, captain's plank. Do you think this thank you always you always the best Thank you It was nice to meet you too. You're gonna get another shot. You're gonna get on this shot Jacob. I know it Nikki's book more veggies. Please available at Nikki dinky cooking comm always go by that book support Nikki and all she does She's absolutely great. Give her a follow at Nikki Denky on Instagram Are you on TikTok? Yeah, I am on TikTok now. I'm cool like that. Hi. Do you are you on it constantly yourself?
Starting point is 00:40:11 Hey, you know, I have there's moments where I get like sucked in and I'm like Christine told me yesterday that something walks out on the screen and tells you you've been doing this like a concerning amount the Scrolling guy comes I've never been scrolling way too long. It's time to take a break maybe get some water and you just screw it past him I just make that hasn't happened to me. I just make videos of me self-diagnosing myself Whoa, where you going? Oh, you want that Kelly Clarkson? Yeah, you may have that. yet. What the fuck was that? We'll be right back to say goodbye. Thank you so much, Nicky. It's the Bonfire. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Don't forget that the Bonfire is a radio show, a full show. We got a studio and everything. You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer.

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