The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - More Than A Witzki

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

Fresh off the Bonfire Christmas Special, Jay plots a new a new dance performance for the next live show. ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 On Big J. Ocarson, you can listen to full 2-hour long episodes of the Bond Fire? 2 hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Ocarus in and Dan Soder. I feel like this song will be better if they didn't have funny voices. Yeah. It might be increasing. Did you ever hear the voice modulation ruins the whole bit?
Starting point is 00:00:44 They did, someone on YouTube slowed down Alvinvin the chipmunks to a regular speed. Yeah. There's a couple songs of it's incredible. I was bustin' Jacob's chops because he hated the voice modulation. Adoy. I didn't even realize that was a reference to an old live show. This is a stupid bit to chipmunks. Why waste their time? The lyrics are so good. It doesn't need the effect. Jacob, let me say on behalf of everybody here, again,
Starting point is 00:01:16 Pravee Simo on your performance, the script, the whole thing in a word, a triumph. It was in a word, a triumph. It was so good. It was so great. Such a fun show. Thank you, everybody, who showed up. The audience at the Village Underground was awesome. It was an electric evening. It was very, very fun. DJ Liu worked at a stage kinks, his fear of being on stage.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Were you comfortable by the end? I was a little bit but I was never I want to be as free as Jacob is. Yeah. No, I know free like that Jacob. I mean, everybody's free. Everyone wants to soar like an eagle. I had to ignore the audience at all times or else up my hands with shake. Really? Yeah. We have to have a next live show we have to have you read an essay or something. Or have them carry them out of the room. Yeah. We have to have the next live show we have to have you read an essay or something. Or have them carry them out of the room. Yeah. Or maybe do a dance performance, maybe a quick dance number. I'll do it with you.
Starting point is 00:02:14 If you do it with me, maybe I'll do it with you. But you can't bail it. You did on the EDM shuffle. I'm like, there's no telling what I'll do. You guys wear matching suspenders with like glitter pants. Yeah. Jacob, if I don't have a person. I want to see this so bad. There's no telling what I'll do you guys wear matching suspenders with like glitter pants Jacob if I don't have a person to see this so bad Jacob if I if you don't have a person's legs to slide through Yeah, I say we do shot for shot the kid in playhouse party dance Shot that I know the whole thing all we could do the new edition song you love you won't do that
Starting point is 00:02:51 You guys you guys in a darkened dance studio at like one in the morning So cigarettes with towels around your neck and you know we got this dude. Yeah, like what's his name? Whatever his name was in Saturday, I fever in that girl He keeps me and Lou just spinning around a room to more than a woman playing. Mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, two feet. You just mean Lou holding hands. We're just twirling in a circle holding hands shaking hips. I love this idea. How about this?
Starting point is 00:03:21 I love a dance. A dance do it. It it is gonna be incredible. And then Jacob, you can just take the show off and just enjoy it, just soak it in. Yeah, if it isn't love, no, I feel you on this, but I'm telling you, there's gotta be something. Go to the dance. What makes you apprehensive of doing this one?
Starting point is 00:03:40 It's, I think Lou's gonna break Jaguar me down too far. That's not Alan. It seems like an easier dance. You couldn't be wronger. There's so much sliding in this one. I could slide the jogging in place basically That's gonna win you you know, I think that's gonna take you down first of all the dance we're supposed to do is from the Apollo performance So come on think which is a little different, but we need very flowy suits. It's a whole-word deal Come on think which is a little different, but we need very flowy suits. It's a whole word deal You guys would start honestly. It's probably needs to start shoots suit shopping now Yeah, we have to start now getting our suits suits are very baggy suits Because you're gonna also you're gonna need breathability well, they have to they have to flow when we dance
Starting point is 00:04:19 That's the whole thing at the Apollo. Yeah, but I think more we do the full, more than a woman dance from Saturday to Feaver. Piece of cake. I think it is a piece of cake. Christine, can you bring it up please? More than a woman dance. Yeah, you'll see.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Can I get in between? Two people, there have been more fun. For the camera work. Sure. You know, the face shots. Oh, absolutely. We're doing the chore over. We're holding hands like this and spinning in
Starting point is 00:04:46 circles. Absolutely. No, no, go to when they're in. No, no, we can do this one. But I'd prefer you go to the go back, go back a page right there, the second one. Yeah, that's the one. Just goes. Yeah, that's what they fall in love. That's the one. Oh, so who's it? Remind there's still this is going go back and forth go to the other video you had before we'll do the one we'll do the big But you know what I was talking about you think you can get that close with Jay in front of a crowd Yeah, Jay I'm talking to your dance partner here because I think
Starting point is 00:05:22 You think me and Luke can they put it up on so Jacob to see it. here because I think you think me and Luke can't put it up on the subject of the secret. I think you can. I think Jay can can do this. The question is this whole point was because Lou is afraid of the crowd. You know, Louie put you in a beautiful shoulder-less dress. If you make me feel safe. I will make you feel sick. There are not enough bud lights, make a low lights. If I get there are there are not enough right lights, make-a-low blights, if I can. There are. There are not enough bright beer. There is. To get Lou cool enough. Lou, I'm telling you three practices we get this. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Show it, Christine. Play it, please. I'm gonna play it. Is this perfect? Woo! It's a little easier than the tiny one. I'm gonna go. Unless you want to be trivolved to do, I can see when either of these outfits making it work.
Starting point is 00:06:06 No, you got a lead. Okay. Take my breath away. Oh, man. I don't know. There's a lot of twirls. You're wrong, dude. You're gonna get this.
Starting point is 00:06:15 You're gonna hit that. You're not gonna hit that move. We'll tweet out this scene at the Bonfire section. I bet me and Luke can do that part right now. Are back steps? Look at this already playing the next song. The song is awesome. The song and the dance.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Oh, I love it. I've been playing the soundtrack exclusively the last two weeks. Weekend, it's been a year. Is that when you're murdering drifters? You're never telling me. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and dip down hard facing each other in the most sensual way. Loo, I will not fail you if you don't fail me. Don't twirly, I got that.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah, it just means, it means there's space for sure. I got that. You know that space for sure. Can you make it a drop of yourself? I'm gonna see what you do it. Synchronized kick out is gonna be awesome. And we can do it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I don't know if it's you again. We can't do that. Ah. Yeah. What? I bet you I can do that with you. Pick me up and by one leg and throw me. It's not one leg at your torso and one leg.
Starting point is 00:07:38 We'll make it work, Lou. Maybe we'll have a mod on that one part. And then just like that long story, I can't hold you in a dip for a long time. I'm up on it. I was stunned double just for that that part coming and jumping It makes zero sense. It makes zero sense kills the entire routine Now it's got to be me holding you up in the air. I could probably grab you around like the waist and let you can kick your feet out I could spin you That would be cool. It's the effort would be funny. I really wish we could find the scene in the gym in the practice room,
Starting point is 00:08:07 because that one is much funnier if you picture me and Lou doing it for some reason. I wish Christine, so you could find that on YouTube. And you also will be in more leisureware. Go start it up, yeah. Yeah, look at, I'd rather see Lou looking at you in a tard. Fuck, no.
Starting point is 00:08:21 No. You want to be in a dress? Yes. No. Shoulderless dress. It covers more. No, Lou, then we could put you in like a hard. Fuck no. No. You'd rather be in a dress. Yes. No. Shoulderless dress. It covers more. No, no, no, we can put you like a big sweatshirt over it. You know what I mean over your tights.
Starting point is 00:08:32 That's not sexy. It is sexy. No, like it should be jack. No, a little off the shoulder. We'll cut a sweatshirt up so it's off the shoulder. I want to just be at rehearsals one in like five. I want to come to the first one. It's only three.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Three rehearsals? We'll get to three rehearsals. Four short. Can Lou wear angle warmers though? You know, like those? Yeah. So I'm gonna fever practice. Put dance practice.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yep. Who is that staring at us at 12 o'clock? Someone staring at us? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get up in her shit look give her the finger
Starting point is 00:09:08 oh yeah she's looking at her phone give her the finger though but they can't see you black Luke give her the finger look at her what do you have seven dust full concert up it was the next thing okay um, play this.
Starting point is 00:09:32 So you'd rather wear that, Lou? No, I would like to wear a full dress that covers my petuit. Now, go forward. It's when they go to the big room. He's like the same working. We gotta hit the big room. Oh, here it is. Turn it up. And Christine's green hair. It's Christine's shirt from the police. Well, you have the seven dust thing up.
Starting point is 00:09:54 See, we could learn along with how they're learning. This is our actual practice. We'll just do it right along to that. Yeah. One, two, three, four. There's no way in three practices that you'll get it shot for shot. This for sure. Because it ends better than the other one.
Starting point is 00:10:12 That's good. Do you know the tango hustle? Yeah, he's there. He has a track. You know the tango hustle, Lou? All I ask you that. Oh, here we go. Shed it. Shed it. Oh, more than a woman. Ah, you're gonna have to really lead, Jay. You get to call me a whore at the end?
Starting point is 00:10:31 Because I'm living with my boss. Oh, yeah. And I'll go for no reason. You happy now, Jacob? Now you're a cunt. Yeah, you get to rape Jacob. I'm gonna rape Jacob. Damn. Let's just just say it a few more. Oh, dude, there it is. Yeah, you guys have rape jackup. I'm a rape jackup. Damn. Let's just do something to fever.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Oh, dude, there it is. Yeah, you guys have to do that move. But this, it's common, isn't it? Am I crazy that they hold each other's hands and spin in circles and shows their stupid faces? So happy. Yeah. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Look at our hips. Look at your hips. You think I won't do that? I can do this with you right now, Lou. Look at my hip work. They're working. They're happy. They are. Look how happy we'd be, Lou. And then you got to get Jacob in the middle right here. Yeah, it's Jacob. Jacob's over here. Yay! And it means I'm so happy. I'm so glad to be spinning with you, Lou. And there's a little girl. Oh, don't let go, buddy. Oh, I can swear a wig.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I'm gonna wear that wig, like a nice little bob. Lou, tell me how wrong this is gonna get you over your fear of being on the stage. Yeah, if I could pull out off then I could do anything. That is anything. Anything. Oh, and then Jacob would be just be seething with jealousy because I'd be looking for an excuse to wear a silk shirt
Starting point is 00:11:54 and some tight ass trousers. Honestly, I'm not there for show night. I'm there for the rehearsals. I want to see you putting in the work. Okay. I want to see you chopping the water, carrying the wood, carrying the water. I mean, that should be filmed as well. I putting in the work. Okay. I want to see you chopping the water carrying the chopping the wood carrying the wall That should be filmed as well
Starting point is 00:12:08 Cool. Yeah, we can't have film the rehearsals We're lose stepping over my feet because he's a clumsy idiot or anyone to teach him how to dance like Fulus I got you mean Damn now I'm starting to think maybe me and you should be red McCormick and fucking Wilfred or whatever his name was Chris Penn from Footloose We teach you how to do that dance where you dig down to the ground I forgot about that one. I want I want this one. You like got more than a woman more than a woman's president Yeah, because Chris Penn is awkward in that. I want you I want Lou to be
Starting point is 00:12:38 Fluid totally committed and and see it in your eyes. Yeah, I think we could do this by Moon Tower I think so too. Agreed. All dance movies, is that like a, is that your guilty pleasure? Uh, no, maybe all trolled to dance movies. Early to vaulting before you let me down in the early 80s. What do you, what do you break your heart?
Starting point is 00:12:58 We started massaging men. Oh, yeah, I forgot your homophobic. I thought I was gonna be Lucas talking No, you're gay get away from me. He lost in the 80s. Yeah, when he did the one with Olivia Newton John double Perfect, whatever the fuck perfect. Yeah, yeah, he did do a lot blowout was a pretty terrible flick with Jamie Lee Curtis in him Right. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Everything before Lucas talking And then he got you back. He did. He did.
Starting point is 00:13:27 He did. He was the comeback. Yeah, but I was okay with Lucas talking also. I was a big Michael fan. You didn't like Michael. You did not enjoy Michael. Well, it was the one where he thought he had met aliens, but really had a brain tumor.
Starting point is 00:13:39 No, cheat. Wow. What the hell was that called? No worries, like private issues. That's the premonition. Because I've seen aliens and they go hey Bud turns out it's a fist-sized tumor pushing it on your brain Son of a bitch Watching that movie with my mom and her boyfriend be like, damn what a fucking ending phenomenal
Starting point is 00:14:00 Is that what it was you get a tumor? I don't remember that there are no aliens Is that what it was? You get a tumor? I don't remember that. There are no aliens. He just had a tumor. It's the saddest thing I've been doing there. You know, dude, I don't know. You got something pressing in on your mains. Wait, he had powers?
Starting point is 00:14:14 I think so. But it was because he had a tumor. Yeah. It's hilarious. It wasn't like he wasn't giving a gift at all. No, he's just sitting in a chair rattling. I can make the phone book jiggle. It's so weird.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I got these powers like I don't even know what to do with them. I saw an alien in the American knock baskets off the wall. It's so weird. It's like I have this too with my hands. The sides of the pumpkin. At the end they just go well we found out what it is. It's just it's sad. No.
Starting point is 00:14:44 It's aliens right? Oh, it's from the galactic nine universe. Oh man. Just when I'm asking about powers, he tells me it. He tells me it's a tumor. And then 94, yeah. So 94 was the comeback with Pulp Fiction and he won you back then, DJ.
Starting point is 00:15:01 And then he made bad decisions. And then in the seventh, like he'll do a great movie and then bad decision like you did boy in a plastic bubble. No, he did a friend-durst movie. He'll do a lot. He'll go for it. A friend-durst directed movie was crazy. We just watched Battlefield Earth.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Terrible. Well, that's the, yeah, it's Scientology movie. Scientology is. You see, it's Scientology movie. It's like from their, by the writing of Elron Hubbard. On TNT where ESPN National Sixers game against the Lakers, commercial for the Scientology channel, TV channel.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I thought they weren't doing well. Yeah, well that's because you haven't had your theater level chip I have no your true read your diet diet out of forget it with the name is Dianetics Dianetics Dundin Dundin Dundin Dundin Dundin Dundin I saw somebody with that book in their house. I thought they were so cool the volcano book Yeah, I didn't know what it was about at all. It was that volcano going off on my all sounds right to me Put a volcano in the cover of your Bible Yeah, and it was like sometimes I have angry feelings
Starting point is 00:16:08 Look at it. Oh Yeah, the volcano they'll go to the commercial for dionetics the commercial was It got commercial the commercial used to get me Daya nutics Dio, NETIX. Don't do that. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum true man. Dianetics by El Ron Hubbard. By your copy at B Dalton's, world in books, or wherever paperbacks are sold. A fresh look at today's problems. Get into lava, burn that shit up.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Was that before they knew it was a cult religion? Yeah, isn't there a real person book, right? Yeah, this back when OxyCotten was an addictive, not me. Nah, saying. Why does a severe loss shake your confidence I don't look to see it's a harsh it's a loss that works because that's just sad that's how things work failure sucks success feels good waters wet waters water's wet blue let's get the fuck out of here it's good they have such cool
Starting point is 00:17:22 buildings though yeah we little terrariums for weirdos Whenever I do shows that the UCB in LA across the street is like that giant fucking fortress the LA fortress There's one right over here. Yeah, there's one right over here on 46 second All right, Jacob. Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. I walk past it every day every day. They try to get me But they won't they talk to you outside? No, but there's a video playing at like on a loop saying, who takes a test, dude? I went in. What?
Starting point is 00:17:50 I went in, I got tested. Me and my friend, Josh, and our friend, Dono. This is where Christine admits that she's been taking 10% of your guys' income and giving it to Scientology. Doing it, yeah. It's called tithing. I love this song, man. I was on the seorg for four years. Through a couple of kids overboard that didn't participate.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Yeah, that her lord and savior Keith Ranieri is in behind bars. She had to move on. Yeah, I went back to Elron. For my first love. For my first love Elron. What a weird group of people. I'd really love for you to go in there and check out your feet and levels. You have to be out of the job. I mean, they're gonna sell you hard in there and check out your feet and levels. You have to be.
Starting point is 00:18:25 He's off the job. I mean, they're going to sell you hard in there of all the things you can do. There's so much power coming out of you. There's almost like there's another version of you. You know, yeah, it's will. He's back at home. That's will. He's going through it right now. Yeah, he's doing something.
Starting point is 00:18:39 You can see me coming. Look at this mark. Yeah, we'll get him for at least six months. I want to say, should we go undercover, Dan? Don't get me. Ow. I need love. Maybe you're going to enjoy the cold.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Yeah. You go listen, no, I know it's like funny and I get it. I know all the things people say about them, but like there is good things. There's some connections and there's talk of Scientology backing a possible billion spin off called Muffinit.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Who reminded me recently that in the Val season 2 episode, or season 2, when they were calling the girl, the first girl, the pretty-year-older Brunette? And this is about Keith Reneer? Yeah, that's married to, what's his name, Spanky? They always give him one name. He sucks. Oh, Nippy. They always get more name. He sucks. Oh, Nippy. Nippy.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Yeah, Nippy's wife calls Whitney Cummings in the documentary. Right, yes. It's so weird, I forgot about that. What do you mean, she's calls her and says it's so weird. To be like, you know, it's done. He's in jail for whatever many years. I mean, how the fuck is Whitney now? Or was it a weird random pop-up?
Starting point is 00:19:43 Sally. I'm like oh, yeah Were they in LA though nippy you think when he's friends with nippy nippy and that chick It's a brand name circles is nippy. How the fuck are you that yeah? That's a very honest to see the brands for sure. I'm like let me see it. Did he get you? You stupid stupid what was the brand did he have it worked out? Yeah, the brand was key K. R What was the brand did he have it worked out? Yeah, the brand was key K.R. The initials. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Do you have multiple versions of it or was there just one that he got hot on like a charcoal grill? Oh, I think it was the one template. Yeah, yeah, he had one template. He heated up and then zip you, but it was also was an Alice in Max in there too. Her initials also. No, it's K-R. I think this is what I said, it's also Allison. There's an A-M, like in there too, if you look at it a certain way. Who told you that, Allison? No, why would she want that?
Starting point is 00:20:32 She's trying to get out. Damn. Yeah, there's a Keith Ranieri. Let me say, if you turn it, maybe you can find it. Yeah, that's deceptive. Well yeah, if you turn it, it looks like AM. It's so, you can A with an AM right under it. How many people did he brand?
Starting point is 00:20:49 I don't know. There's a guy that wants to do branding at SkankFest. No. And I don't know how I feel about it. If you let him, can you let him wear a cowboy hat? And then he's got to wear like worker gloves, like everyone's cattle. Yeah, and everybody has to,
Starting point is 00:21:03 Oh, everybody, and no matter what, he only does brands on the ass and after you have to go sit in a weird basin of water. They go, yeah, I'm so happy. Yeah, dude, I mean, branding is intense. Yeah, yeah, rhinestone. But maybe it'll be its cake, this. If the people want it,
Starting point is 00:21:26 and we're nearly really laid it out there, huh? Yeah, we're near. It was. That's why it's crazy to think more than two people have been branded, you know, and you're like, you really? That's weird. You like really bought it and if you're like, oh, you're brand to do. Yeah, you really, uh, I hope he enjoyed it while he was like
Starting point is 00:21:45 like a real name and really he's like, is the fall of me. He's just in a circular bed just getting dome and kissing the lady. And he's like, this is it Keith. He was he was fucking them all, but they weren't all. That's hot. That's me. I'm Keith Reineer. I bet you're wondering how I got here.
Starting point is 00:22:01 But I mean, he paused. He's like, branding a chick while getting his dick sucked. He's like, you didn't watch the season two, but he kept a girl like in a room for years. Like, like, old boy? Like, yeah, but almost like that movie room.
Starting point is 00:22:19 He just kept there in there for years, right? And she got pregnant. Yeah, he made his life. How do you, he did, how do you open that door every time? Hey, I'm back. Sorry. How do you? He did? How do you open that door every time? Hey, I'm back. Or do you go like, you get a defensive stance. Yeah. Do you think the second that door is open and she's taking her shot. That's her fourth and
Starting point is 00:22:37 one every day. I think it's like, I'm gonna fucking burst through. If a cold leader spreads themselves too thin, they always got gotta be like solving everyone's problems in the group, so you really, you hope for the moment they had to reap the rewards that they were like just really drinking it all in. Well like, crash? You know, it's like the way I say it's like DOS effects. I really hope they had fun for those two years.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's over. It's over for DOS effects. But I really hope for those two years when everyone was going bomb stick and he bombed that they just lived it up. There hadn't been multiple moments where he was like, this is... Hey Keith. You did it.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Yeah, he's just like, wow, I'm fucking every girl I know. I got a lady living in the basement, she's just there. I got a lady in a room. I'm making tons of dough off these knitwoods saying nothing. I mean, they're paying me to tell them they have to listen to men and shut their dumb mouths and suck our dicks. Then I brand them, which by the way, kind of fun. Yeah, and then I break those,
Starting point is 00:23:36 these girls want to put my name on them. That is so flattering and crazy, but they're lunatics. Anyways. I'm their lord. Long and short of it. So that way, you hope're lunatics. Anyways, they're lured. Long and short of it. So you hope when he's in jail, very least he goes, was it good run?
Starting point is 00:23:50 What do you in for? He's like, oh, you're gonna want to sit out. What am I in for? Living. Larry Nasser, did he live all that time? Did Larry Nuss live all that time just with his eyes over his shoulders? Or did he really just drink in?
Starting point is 00:24:05 I have found the perfect way to molest young girls. Lucy in the chocolate factory. I can't eat enough, they're coming at me. Do you think for that moment he was like, man, I really was, I don't know how I fell in this. I love under-appetizing. I mean, I feel like, and I got a job where I've convinced the model
Starting point is 00:24:24 to let me check their pussy. I feel like- And I got a job where I've convinced them all to let me check their pussy. I feel like serial killers and all that shit you under if they all are like take time to be like. Oh yeah. Look at me, I'm sending all these riddles. No one can find me. Oh my clues aren't getting solved I'm doing pretty good. Yeah dude, Hitler, what a piece of garbage, but for a little bit, did he ever like, he's never smiling at any picture?
Starting point is 00:24:44 Did he ever just take a lap and be like I did this Joseph come over here. Look at this Just take a helicopter up and look at a bunch of Corral Jews and fucking Barb wire and go like watch this. I did this watch this this guy has to do whatever I say This is crazy. Hey, you! He's like, my fero! Shoot yourself in the foot. There you go.
Starting point is 00:25:09 He's gonna do it! No, no, no, no, no, no. But I just saw you. You would have, right? You see that. I mean, yeah, I think like all people with power, they have to have moments where they were like, like especially crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Like Bill Clinton finding out about aliens or something and he says that one friend from Arkansas and he goes man They're real it's wild and it's out there. Yeah, I read some papers. I shouldn't have been reading Because at the end of the day all these guys that have like crazy power whatever are people So there's like got to be a little bit unless they're psychos. Like, you know, Hillary is probably just a psycho. Sure. But they're also, if you got a little bit of humanity left in you, there's that moment where you're like, it's fucking nuts.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Like a, like President Obama hears the alien and he's like, oh, holy shit. Is this like something unsettling? No. Oh, that's fun. No, that's it. That's the thing. Well, I didn't expect them to be so big
Starting point is 00:26:07 Okay, how many are there like they're all over the place. He's like All right Getting that kind of info David Kresh. You just want to ask you did did you take did you just Did you get up a little bit? He goes do it did I I got eight different families working? I'm giving speech it. They're always gonna give speeches up to my fifth scroll prepare for a fucking Charles Manson. I think that guy drank it in. Yeah, he wrote songs and shit. He did it right, dude. He was fucking them all They all thought he was God. They they believed him so much. They liked this shitty shitty music. Yeah believed him so much. They liked this shitty, shitty music.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah. Do you know what all of a sudden it was great? They were in prison. Huh? He drank it up in prison. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. Women were throwing themselves at him. He had a good run this whole life.
Starting point is 00:26:54 You know what a really great life? Charles Manson. I call him Chuck. Yeah, women, young women, didn't get married to like a young like a 20s Which if you're her ex boyfriend everyone looks to you like what did you do to her? I was kind of mean you guys. I don't know I've shit like She said she wanted to go to like flower-ranging school and I said that stupid like called her hippie
Starting point is 00:27:19 Call her a hippie idiot I don't know if she grew up in hair out. I called her a pig. What's she do? What's Sarah up to now? Charles Manson. Charles Manson. Charles Manson. Charles Manson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They did it. They did it. They saw a picture of them kissing and everything. Hit it off. Yeah. There she is. She's, uh, she legitimately looks identical to the girl who helped out Saul in the Saul movies. And Manson's pumped. Look at his face. He's on it. You believe this crazy shit?
Starting point is 00:27:55 I'm getting young pussy. This is insane. She shows me your hudders and her tuders. I said, you bring along your life and you make sure flash light comes along with it I'll suck your ass. Yeah, she shaved her head which takes it all away. Oh you think he was mad about that He goes oh, that was like an old thing. Oh You winning you know just a guy just an evil old man being disappointed and pussy I did Got a lumpy your head and I thought well it grows back right guys We got about 90 seconds left. We got about 90 seconds left free catch everybody cookies and cream
Starting point is 00:28:35 Happy holidays. We hope you enjoyed the holiday show. Yeah, we hope you enjoyed another masterpiece from the mind of Jacob atot Jacob atot Bringing together the state tune for next live show or me and Lou for sure can't wait another masterpiece from the mind of Jacob Atat. Jacob Atat, bringing together, this is Stay Tune for Next Live Show or me and Lou Forshore. Can't wait, slow dance. BigJComedy.com, San Diego, December 29th, through the 31st, and then he will be at the AVNs.
Starting point is 00:28:58 And then I'll be in Chicago. Yes, bigJComedy.com for full dates. Dan Sotar's gonna be in in Sacramento February 2nd to the 4th and after that Vancouver Salt Lake City Toronto He's making the rounds for tickets and all their tour dates visit Dan Soder dot com. We See you next year happy new year. Yeah, it was our last show. Yeah happy holidays happy new year Yeah, it was our last show. Yeah, happy holidays. Happy New Year. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Happy Honeika. Happy Honeika. Kwanzaa thinks in there somewhere. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy New Year. We'll see you in 2023.
Starting point is 00:29:34 If. Tuh, tuh, tuh. What's that? Was that the lightest Merry Christmas ever? Happy Armenian Christmas. Oh, happy Armenian Christmas. It was a shit about that hairy ass Christmas. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Lots of people. Happy Swedish New Year. Yeah. Yeah, happy girls with back hair day. Damn. I don't have back hair. You know. That's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:29:58 But a bunch of y'all's do. Check your girls. Bunch of them do. Check your Armenian girlfriends. I'm not gonna stop rocking out for them. Good. We love you. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bond Fire is a radio show, a full show. We got a studio and everything.
Starting point is 00:30:42 You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.

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