The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - No One's Even Saying Anything

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Big Jay is back from Oklahoma City and had the chance to experience the legendary Red Dog. As he's telling the gang about his experience he starts getting random phone calls from unknown callers. Stre...am "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. What's up everybody? It's Monday. It's slow start. The bonfire, faction talk series X, 7103, Big J. Okreson. I've had some hilarious some butch dan soder. He's back. He's feeling 100% you 100%? You're too kind. I'm like 91%? 91%? Christine? Christine you're a hundo yeah?
Starting point is 00:00:22 Yeah I'm a hundo. Christine's looking foin' over there in the corner. Oh She got new jeans. Thanks for noticing The creepiest shit if I noticed that if I walked up and I was like Christina's jeans Yeah, cuz they even know that Christine's ass is What the fuck is that about pretty disrespectful? He goes, uh, okay, then he goes I'm just saying no. I'm just getting ahead of a friend perspective I'm fucking looks like our pussy is soaking and our asses
Starting point is 00:00:46 But I just feel like that's something that Jay would hold against me if I didn't notice I guess anybody else knows that Dan didn't talk about Christine's fat pussy Coho's doing it bring up my girlfriends pussy. I mean those jeans are hugging her big fat pussy It's going on no one's even saying you just think he's all right. He's not back for a second Is he down with the second? He's dead okay? Because he didn't even notice Christine's fucking pussy or ass in them jeans.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Dude, I'm sorry Christine. I guess it's for nothing. It'd be so mad if you walked up and you're like, dude, Katie's pussy looking good. I mean, hey, can I talk to you real quick? Dude, I can't really see the outside of her fur. Hey, Jake, can I get a sidebar with you real quick? What the fuck? Hey, what's you real quick? What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:01:25 Hey, what's that shit about? What the fuck is going on with that? Yeah, Jacob a ta DJ Lewitsky in studio on zoom everyone. He doesn't miss a show. He's still here. Not feeling well today though, right? Okay, now you're doing great dear god now Oh, I'm on zoom everybody. It is our black king the black tiger Lewis What's the camera that's just showing a weird profile of me from my ass to my shoulders? I hate this studio that looks like that camera on you looks like they're trying to bust you in a drug thing What the fuck what can I have it over here? Don't do that at all put it on you Lou. they're trying to bust you in a drugstake. What the fuck, can I have it over here? Bitch, set me up. Don't do that at all.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Put it on you, Lou. I'm gonna do it. I'm an audio guy. You are. You're one of the most brilliant audio guys in the world. And every time you've tried to set up a video camera, you set it up like a cop. Don't even know the language.
Starting point is 00:02:17 I can't even try it. I can't set shit up. We think of this as the camera going out. This is offensive. You stop it, you look great. No, it's off Stop I'm not gonna do it. It'll drive me nuts the entire show. Yeah, it'll drive me nuts, too Yeah, Jacob's not much of a fucking camera man. You want a dead-on profile of yourself? Jacob. God damn it
Starting point is 00:02:39 It looks great. Hold it right there. It's my keyboard Jacob. You can't put it there That's my water Jake It's over. It's over No, no give it to me. Give me the camera. I'm putting it on lose face Because of what you just did to me Doesn't matter. We're all on camera. It's the important thing I like this angle from this camera because it looks like you're laying down just looking up at the ceiling me just having a reflection No, this camera angle. Oh, yeah, yeah, just looking up at the ceiling. Me? Just having a reflection. Oh, this camera angle. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Just laying on my back. I already don't have my shades. It's supposed to be shades on filming day. We're filming today. Which eye? I'm vetoing. What? No shades day? I don't like shades.
Starting point is 00:03:16 You know, I go. I didn't like shades when Louis Warham on, you know what, dude? And I don't like him when you wear him on video day on the bonfire. Okay. I stay consistent. Check my voting record. I'll stop. I voted against shades. Stay no more. Every time they've the bonfire. I stay consistent. Check my voting record. I'll stop.
Starting point is 00:03:25 I voted against Shade. Stay no more. Every time they've been brought up. Check the stats. I don't lie from my voting history. No, fuck that shit. Thank you to Bennington for always being the best lead-in in fucking radio possible.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Yeah, a good, a great coworker. Ron Bennington, one of the best coworkers out there. One of the best radio hosts. one of the best co-workers. I'm fired up. I know where this is going. At how he stern for the way that he is just not a good co-worker and his people control everything and we can't get Lou a goddamn pearl jamptick at the Apollo. He's not big on in-house pump-ups.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I will say that. No, dude. It's wild. I don't think it's directly his fault. No, I don't think it's directly his fault. Two specials though. And I work here. You think I would have slid in there at one point. Crazy. Pretty crazy. This is my 20th year here and you think I get some free Pearl Jam tickets. No, that's wild. That's wild. He wears it with his chest. One of the first
Starting point is 00:04:19 three things, a description of Lou, audio genius, scared of critters in a van. Audio genius. Audio genius again. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Loves Pearl Jam. Loves Pearl Jam. For sure, Loves Pearl Jam. I would say that's the only thing
Starting point is 00:04:32 he's heavily pushed back on you the entire show. Is he, I know it's a bit now, but like he would push back and say, no, they're gonna, like, reach over out about everything. I don't know if you remember it, it was juicy, yes, Sal. No, but that didn't go good either.
Starting point is 00:04:43 No, he got violently angry. He's never wanted to sock me, except for that one. Yeah, that's because you remember to lose juicy ass out. No, but that didn't go good either. No, he got violently angry. He's never wanted to sock me except for that one. Yeah, that's because you're objectifying that sweet booty. Yeah, yeah, well, sure. You're right, Lou. I was just looking at his piece of meat. I know you're a complete person. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:55 My apologies. I know, thank you. Projam concentrates on his soul, his ass, his body. Yeah, and projam rules, dude. They look like they only kick women out of their shows. Real nice, Eddie Vetter. What a deal, though. What happened, she hit a guy who was being annoying He's like I know he's being annoying sweetheart, but you can't just hit a guy. There's no violence here
Starting point is 00:05:12 So guess what you are, but you got to go her or you're not the first woman of Pearl Jam get up here You badass she whacked he whacked she whacked the guy upside his head and he's like oh wait stop Freeze his head and he's like, oh wait, stop. Freeze! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Stop it now it sucks now bring up the video Christine of him kicking somebody out is there the video of him is oh Yeah, where I heard is Not amused with fan what a dildo During animal man, it's probably their rageous song. I knew was animal Yeah, some girl was like this song rules
Starting point is 00:06:01 Animal I'm gonna deck this dickhead in front of me Song rules! I'm an animal! What? I'm gonna deck this dickhead in front of me. Which means he stops it down. Dude, every time I look at a crowd of Pearl Jam fans, I'm always like, who's on mushrooms and wants to go to the back of the arena like me? I'll tell you this.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Who's fucking wearing khaki shorts? Everybody there. Oh, you know what I mean? Side pockets on the legs are happening in that place? Oh, here's the animal. Song blows. Oh. You blow, Jay. There you go. legs are happening in that place? oh my god, this song is so cool you blow Jay! there you go, man has a stance that song is alright, that place is packed
Starting point is 00:06:32 I want to know how he stops it down I want to see how he stops it down it's coming I'd rather beat weight wait stop was that the end of the song? Wait! Whoa, stop. Was that the end of the song?
Starting point is 00:06:49 Stop to the mill. I saw the whole thing while I was singing. He was like, I'd rather be, oh, I'd rather be, I'd rather be, I'd rather be, oh, that was a good shot. I'd rather be, damn it. I'd rather hold. Ha, fall is victory, am I right? Hold up, that's a man, keep it going. McCreedy, take it for a walk, we're saying. Huh, fall is victory, am I right? Hold up, man, keep it going. McCready, take it for a walk, we're saying. Hey, dumb bitch.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I'd rather agree, I'm a light up a smoke and watch this fucking barn brawl going on. So long time, was it been the whole show I just now? No, just now when I came over, was it the whole time? What a principle. What a pace. I know what I'm saying. Was it the whole time what a principal So the guy was doing something Do you know I know what he was doing the girl oh before the girl had him? Yeah, he says I He says to her I know it was annoying, but probably isn't that he can't she couldn't see maybe or something exactly
Starting point is 00:07:41 Well, it's having the time of his life. He was probably yeah, dude. I can't wait to a girl I bet you're numb to women smacking you in the back of the head I'm just rocking out so hot Your lady punches fuel my dancing oh my god, yo, that might be a concussion I got CTE from going to too many projam shows getting whacked my ladies give it to me, baby How much more do you love Eddie better now that you know he know he's he sees what everyone's doing and wants everyone to have a good time Is that is that gonna make you dance different next time he's saying you know he knows you are terrifyingly obsessed I'm gonna dance safely. That's why I'm in the back. That's all you used to do all the time. You used to go on the meds head's bench.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Oh shit, here we go, Gaines. Hey, he's wearing a cabbie hat now. What I know it's him. Oh, shit, man. I think there's two of them. Okay. Oh, man, I see him doubles. What is this, the prestige?
Starting point is 00:08:36 He's going home. Hit him on the middle. Yeah. Mm. Oh, oh, oh. He playing and throwing a woman out. What a mensch. Appreciate the fact that you can be strong. Quit hitting him. You're out of here. He playing and throw a woman out what a bench
Starting point is 00:08:57 I like it runs I like they run says massive arena show like a fucking restaurant You have rules here, sir. People not do that sir ask you to leave you wash your hands Oh delicious ribs come with a moral compass oh man if I was a stripper I would never wash my hands that'd be my little laugh oh then I go out there rubdukey hands over everybody yeah like my face you know fingernails smell terrible yeah what's up with their base you really hop it or fingernails smell like sugar hand it was like I was fucking giving a homeless guy five bucks you think that that's about to die. Sorry. I took a dukey a few minutes ago. Waiters are I don't trust waiters at all. I don't know where
Starting point is 00:09:33 their hands are. I'm like if I worked at a restaurant, I'd wash my hands after every bathroom. I'll tell you what I don't do. After heavily, I have to be heavily watched in an airport though. If my piss just doesn't end with me walking right back out of the air. Oh, there's a there's a limited amount of people. Yeah, I'm on that play with Pissy hands. Bye. I'm thinking about Pissy hands. Maybe that's why I'm sick all the time. What do you think I was happening on my dick? Fucking sucking my, yeah dude. I know what it is. In my jeans. I get the idea of when you wiping your ass,
Starting point is 00:10:03 you may have some fucking remnants around your hands somehow So wash it I get it I get it even a piss come on come on piss on your hands That get the splash back your hands near a pool of piss. No nothing. It's fine Your hand is automatically is a dude like you're definitely touching your dick. So what how's it? Touch my arm my fate who gives So what? I also touch my arm, my fate, who gives a shit. I think you're my own ass when I think. What do you think's on my dick? I'm not going in.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Now it's, listen, if you scratch the outside of your pussy and touch someone's face, it's not a thing. It's a very different thing every say. If you finger your pussy, now the consistency of your finger is different. Nothing's different from holding the base of my door while I piss. Now I do pee by the way mostly just push it down
Starting point is 00:10:46 I'm now open my pee hole while I pee. Do you really? I go here it comes. It's gonna happen again Be shiver I got my pee showies. Let's finish this watching this man abuse a woman. Good. I hear you stupid bitch I'm gonna take you right away just like the supreme court woman. Good out of here you stupid bitch. I'm gonna take you right away just like the Supreme Court. Why don't you go have a rape baby or something. Oh, I won't grab you to one other state. That's right. Even even situations of incest. Not get out of here. Oh, anything. I don't care. Life has made it conception. Damn. This is my progeny blows. I Look at them all cheering for throwing at a woman all these sad losers
Starting point is 00:11:35 Yeah, yeah, check suck dude. I love it. I love a rock. Chicks drool boys rule. I love a rock star That can also govern that can govern like a preschool teacher. No, I don't expect that hey, we don't do hey guys Stop one two three. I'm not an animal't do hey guys stop one two three another animal We're not gonna have to two three four Fuck right off right back into the song I'm gonna be with an animal and then he throws a girl out for being an animal Get out of here better. I bet she hates this song for the rest of her life. Oh Yeah, my crazy over there. She goes, oh, you want me to pinpoint the moment where Eddie Vetter told us all he was gay.
Starting point is 00:12:08 No, for sure. Yeah, this is why he's gay. That's what happens. I keep getting a call from no caller ID. I was getting a call from no caller ID. Oh my God, could it be the same person? David, tell us usually where it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Is he hit the bat signal? Go in the other room and Well, it's got a call they call back. Yeah Who's trying to get hold of me and Christine with no color ID numbers? You owe people money? No, I don't think so Lou. How are we gonna get you tickets? Let's just wait and see for a little bit. I'll try everybody that I know on the higher up the higher wrong What do they say to you? You're one of the most talented people in this building. How are they not give you've worked you for 20 years? Yeah, yep, everyone heard the hello now. We're all Christina is it Oh shit is a bad news. I don't know
Starting point is 00:12:58 She has a furrow brown she goes hey if you give me a favor and tell Jay cool that he has leukemia Yeah, hi, hey Dr Dr. Warbowitz. Just want to let Jay know it's bone cancer. And it's worked his way into his weiner. Pretty an awful. I have to use weiner. Maybe some after the show? It's brain cancer.
Starting point is 00:13:14 He's probably going to go down during the show. Damn, dude. Were you going to go see them, Lou? New York, New York at MSG. It's September 11th, dude. Yeah. What a way to remember. Dude.
Starting point is 00:13:25 We lost a lot of gays that day. So it is a good time for them to celebrate together. Fuck me. KFC from Barstool put up a tweet of a Fox graphic for their baseball. Yeah. Their Friday night baseball or Saturday baseball whenever it was.
Starting point is 00:13:40 It's the Red Sox Yankees. And they put the logos inside the two monuments of the towers. Really? That's weird as shit. That's weird as fuck. Oh yeah, terrible. For them to put that up. It wasn't seen.
Starting point is 00:13:52 It's a fan that got our numbers from Instagram. What? What? Yeah, that's what I... Saying what? He said, I didn't think this was you guys. Is this really you? And I was like, are you calling me in J from a block caller ID?
Starting point is 00:14:11 Yeah. It's like party. He was like, I'm sorry. I was like, how did you get our numbers? You went Instagram? How? What? I haven't posting my number.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Yeah, that is funny. You're just doing one number less and you go time to guess It's probably who knows that's weird both our numbers from Instagram. You guys got changed up now Did my number's been the same since I was fucking 19 years old? You got to call me you call me eventually you'll stop calling me you got to do the Pete Davidson and get a new number every three weeks The word hop around get burner folks. I'm gonna tell everybody. Oh, sorry. I have a new phone number It's like now dude my high school girlfriend every three weeks, hop around, get burner phones. I wish I had to tell everybody, oh, sorry, I have a new phone number. It's like, no, dude, my high school girlfriend
Starting point is 00:14:46 can get a hold of you if she wants to. There's weed dealers in Tucson, I owe money to that could still get a hold of you. Like, I know where you're at. I listen. I'm a little bit of cash. It's not a big, big deal at all. I'm super attached to my phone number,
Starting point is 00:14:59 but I just generally don't pick up numbers I don't know. Well, you just did, and you learned that it was a good job. Well, they were getting us both, so it's... Yeah, I thought it was Dave. Yeah. Yeah, it tell makes us pick up no caller ID. Son of a bitch, he does. Why do you still have a block number?
Starting point is 00:15:13 I don't know how you have a block number. You don't, I think you put in star 67 before you call everybody. He might put in star 67 before he calls us, how funny is that? Dude, him doing that. I don't want him to know. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble.
Starting point is 00:15:27 But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble.
Starting point is 00:15:35 But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble.
Starting point is 00:15:43 But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. But you're in great trouble. I love the just fucking ribs buds in his house fuck it. He's like fuck everybody if I smoke out my window of my guest room Like at least like a couple times a day. I do feel naughty, but I also like candles I spray the fucking shit out of the room immediately after you know, I'm like, I just don't you kind of like love it What like getting to like go into that room and like smoke cigarettes on the bed? I mean being away from you sure that's a much needed release. But, no, yes, I do, but I also like, you know me. So I'm still me the whole time. Every time I see a loose like, just a dry ash,
Starting point is 00:16:13 it's nothing, you can flick it or pat it, it'll go away. But I see it like go on the comfort, and I'm like, oh, you're just like always worried about it. You can't enjoy it, because you're worried about if you're fucking up the room. But you know, check out Zilla or whatever. Look at disabled nudes on Reddit. What a swing.
Starting point is 00:16:29 What? Go from real estate to naked and disabled. Yeah, all Reddit is a wealth of horrible things. horrible horrible. It's gonna be disabled nudes is up there. It's gonna be fun when you get to like the dark internet, when you have like someone a gas digital show you had to get on the dark web,
Starting point is 00:16:45 and then you start doing stuff where you're like, real big into eight millimeter videos. Watch it a lot of stuff. Watch it a lot of people get their lives ended, and it does a lot for me. A guy a fan, I guess I'm sorry, I'm not, it would look right now who it was, but someone said I heard you're on,
Starting point is 00:17:00 looking at Reddit crazy shit now, if he looked up disabled nudes, and so he knows I did. Yeah, very fascinating, very fascinating. Right up there. You watch it all right there with big dick females. That's one that really keep me wrapped in for a couple of minutes also.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Do you wear a robe and then study it scientifically where you put your head in your chin and you go like, talk about Adam Corolla on this when he did a pre-recorded skanks. He said he's not into the novelty of pornography. And I go, I am into the novelty of point, I mean, come on, dude, whoever this guy is has to stop. If you're listening, stop.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I'll never answer for you now. Guys, I got Christine, I'm gonna get Jay. I'm gonna get the set. Yeah, don't be a content to tell other people you piece of shit. What was I just saying? I'm so frazzled though you're talking about Corolla on skanks. Oh that he The novelty of point. Yeah, the novelty of I'm a novelty of sexuality Separate from sexuality of sexual you know, I mean I could watch that
Starting point is 00:17:59 It's like I'm smoking a cigarette in the room is when I'm looking at Disabled nudes for big dick females. It's not in the throws of jerking off I am such a I might like my brain is so childlike compared to yours where I'm like I'm looking up T-shirts. Yeah, well someone else it goes like you know you go to reddit Go to like public freakouts and all this great a funny crazy shit and I go Oh, yeah, I should start doing that too public freakouts is the best one public freakouts You see some fun shit. John Cardin told me of one this week and then I want
Starting point is 00:18:29 to check out cause my people need me or something like that. Oh I don't know. Yeah I think it's called my people need me and it's just videos of people getting like like flick that of a scene quick. Do you know what I mean? Oh that's funny. I feel like pull away so I don't know but he described the pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:18:42 There's a great Twitter profile that you would love called baked fights mm-hmm unbelievable stone people fighting no just fights my Hello Hello No way huh No way yes way? No way. Yes way. Stop calling. We're doing a live radio show. Don't tell people my number. Don't be a fuck. Don't be weird. Before you hang up.
Starting point is 00:19:17 She did. She told me. That's cool. Do me a favor. Before you hang up. Tell Christine how fat her pussy looks in the new jeans. I love you. This guy's not a good collar at all. Hey man, that's so funny to call when you get someone's number. Are you deemed to be famous? No, you go.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Hey, that was actually sort of adorable. Yeah, love you. If I was 18 years old and I called like the rock, when you're still with the weird guy, and he's like, hello, I'm like, hi. Hi. Do you remember when you teamed up with me? I kind of even do that though.
Starting point is 00:19:49 And you guys were in the rock. I was like, what's up? I go, what's up? He's like, hey, how am I? Oh my god. Wow. Oh, I love you. How's it going?
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah. I missed that motherfucker. Shout out, Brad. I replayed that on the Lost Tapes. Brad ruled. The Brad episode? The Brad call. Wait, Brad. I replayed that on the lost tapes. Brad ruled. The Brad episode? The Brad call. Wait, Brad was the one that was like,
Starting point is 00:20:07 hey, and he's like, you fucking losers. Oh, yeah, we made fun of his voice, and then he just hung up on us. Oh man, that was the greatest turnaround. You know, it was another crazy one was Joe from Long Island. Oh yeah. Remember Joe from Long Island? Remember we have like regular callers?
Starting point is 00:20:22 Yeah. Now we sell plenty of calls, we don't like a regular call thing where it's like oh, it's our old framby bitty bop Yeah, Joe from Long Island was wild. We're afraid she was dead within the first year of the show being on But when they tell you know them it's always from like such a personal insight fear and she goes hey, man It's like so and so calling remember. We smoked a dab outside of a thing that one time in that one place Oh, yeah, I remember Oh my god Damn how is your weekend or sick the weekend okay, so bad Yeah, let's all you had to say couldn't do sets at the cellar on Thursday. I felt like shit canceled
Starting point is 00:20:57 So I just fucking slept for five days. I was I don't know what it is In between the hyppochondria, yeah, you're like, I'm probably dying, but man, I'm my rest. I'd fall back asleep and I'd wake up and my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my Wasn't I was negative. Uh, did you get ID now? I Texted you that and I just slept yeah, I get you guys are like sick and all I don't have time to be sick Dude I'm out there running and gunning all day long. I was affected by a virus from Canada by a weaponry And you want to say that I'm just crazy. I wish I had the luxury. Oh to be sick for five days Number one to come Washington. You are getting a Dan so oh my god. No excuses this weekend
Starting point is 00:21:48 I'm gonna bring it I'm doing actouts. Oh dance coming full. He's going dang cook fucking 99 the way I talk with my hands Charade you guys know it's crazy about having an alcoholic father that's dead He's dead. He's in the ground. Yeah, get ready, dude. I'm wearing an Abercrombie and Fitch high-rise jeans. Oh, Chinese food makes me sick. Dude, stop it. What?
Starting point is 00:22:13 So you were, you know, you're like Willie Nelson, dude, you're always on the road. Always on the, stays on the road. Dude, you're a road dog. Oklahoma City, first time, and first time, and forgot. First of all, the shows were great. Well, you're a road dog. Oklahoma City first time and first time and forgot. First of all, the shows were great. Well, you texted me. I was like, you can't say that.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Yeah, and that was like, what, two soon? It's been so many bombings. And then I went, ooh, do I get to be Terry Nichols? Yes. Yeah, I'm like, yes, Dan, you can be Terry Nichols. You took the weirdo and the glasses that really didn't do much except to encourage Timothy. That's a good, Tim Tam.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Oh, dude. Hey, Tim Tam. You know, bomb this thing that I hear what? Tim Tambury. I know some government people that need a lesson. Those people came to the shows as we get their listening right now, going like, it's actually a pretty serious thing. It was horrible.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Yeah, I lost some family in that. There's a massive domestic terrorism attack. It was. Sorry. Sorry, we made fun of it. Yeah, we've learned our lesson from Sorry we made fun of it. Yeah. We've learned our lesson from when we made fun of that last shooter. I sense here, but we need fun of him.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I know people are mad. Yeah, like don't even give them the burn. Like, what? How is it? They're aware. People are aware of his business. He's a fucking asshole. We should make fun of him.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Yeah, I know. We were talking about it. They were talking about it's like, well, dude, you guys very snappy dresser. Yeah, what do you think we're doing? We're trying to find a bright side of from his point you go his aim. I Mean the guy talk about economy of bullets for sure. We're calling them a no chin heaven fucking dildo Yeah, which by the way, thank you for bringing that in my life I've been using dildo a lot you welcome me and we have friends that use words and we swap words
Starting point is 00:23:41 You know and there's never credit, but I want you on air, very publicly to know. Thank you for bringing Dildo back into my life. Jacob had said it before too. It is, you use it well and I've started to adopt it instead of calling people, you know, other words, Dildo's great. Are you replacing the F's with it? Sometimes.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Do you use the replace your F's? I replace my F's with Kant and I find it works. It gets him just as angry. Yeah. And then I don't have to worry about it. I feel a little grish. What's up that about? I feel about. I feel real British when I do that. Call somebody call you fucking Contra. Oh no, just hang like that. You got to really throw it. Give me a give me a derose of Kant. I mean, you can't. Yeah, that's the way you want to say. He says it. Kishirra Kant. Oh man, remember, guys, I've been working here for 10 years because you're a cunt look at Lou
Starting point is 00:24:26 I have fast that you find that and yet sitting home for Pearl Jam Look how slow they can find him Pearl Jam take his unbelievable I would have found it faster if they computed him free so you computer sucks too Lou before you feel bad For yourself just know that they couldn't even get us into the parking lot of Joan jet and Hershey P.A. Yeah Is what Liam the talent guy told me? into the parking lot of Joan Jett and Hershey P.A. Is what Liam, the talent guy told me. Dude, we couldn't even get you guys in the C-Fuckin' Poison without Brett Michaels.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Yeah, not only that, we wouldn't even let you do a little your own fucking recording in your car. You laughing at me. You couldn't get his permission to go to the city. You guys shut us down. You guys actually daddyed us. You're like, sit down. You're not going to that concert
Starting point is 00:25:03 and you're not going to record your little radio show, and we didn't. And you're sure she didn't. And for what? So Lou could not get tickets? By the way, so many of the radio people there. Every almost, other radio person I know. And if you know and Rich got back on the air,
Starting point is 00:25:17 just a broadcast from there. Taseus and Maro went broke up their relationship. Dane and I, you don't go to a white party concert. You hear about that, Black Lou? Taseus andmero broke up. It's Dei Suu Senmero. Is it sad?
Starting point is 00:25:28 It's Dei Suu, like Jesus with a D. No, it's Dei Suu Senmero. I gotta hear somebody say that. Okay. It's Dei Suu Senmero. It's not Dei Suu Senmero. No, it's not Dei Suu. Because I call Jesus Jesus.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Hey Suu. Well, you're wrong. I'm wrong about both. You're gonna tell me what I'm gonna have to call my, my Lord and Savior. As a Lamb of God. Okay. As a follower of the Lamb of, and I'm in the flock. He goes, he is my shepherd.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Yeah, he is my shepherd. His name is, I'm so bad at fucking appreciate. No, but yeah, it's not Jesus. It's, I just 100% it's Jesus. Why do you know that? Because I had dinner with him once. Why? Because I was, we're gonna break up and go No, Katie knows it goes wait, what?
Starting point is 00:26:08 It's like I was talking about like a side project in his little big deal. Oh, Jesus and Dan She's I don't know why you open my shit. No Katie knows Jesus, Dan. Yeah, I just Katie know them. She's known them for a long time. She a bogey girl Yeah, dude. That's why I love her. She's my bogey girl Damn, why do you hate him? Huh? Why do you hate him so much? I don't hate them. You hate Jesus I hate the Lord and Savior just affirmative action. Make sure they got everything we couldn't get You want us to put two white guys talking and being funny on radio? I'll go, do you know there's two Hispanic guys doing that? And they just went with that.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Do you like A-O-L-E or do you like Chipotle A-O-E? Although the beauty of Daisy's Marrow that they, again, they don't have that me and you both seem to have, is when they just bring in like, like they've interviewed everybody. So when they have come, can you imagine right now if they were like, Obama said it'll come talk to you guys for 10 minutes, I'd be like, you come in and we would just be like this like, I've never thought about Michelle's pussy. No, we wouldn't even do that.
Starting point is 00:27:10 We just be like, so. I don't know how you enjoy in the city. They call you a black Lou because you're black. Yeah, it looks like this genius got it. Excuse me. Nothing. I don't know. You know, I know we're the aliens though.
Starting point is 00:27:25 It's a wrap, dude. By the way, Jason, there's no aliens. They're fighting with each other. No, it's a wrap, Brody. Somebody mentioned, dude, tweeting that from some country, country at like 3 a.m. I toured with dude for years. He was Fubar.
Starting point is 00:27:37 I don't even understand. And in his bag. No, fucked up. Yeah, recognition. And in his bag. It's as funny to talk and like I couldn't talk It's like code. Can we get a win bring can we get a win talker in here to breathe? So bar is he's saying he was like drunken fucked up What
Starting point is 00:27:55 Who is having you know they are you don't know Jesus you don't know Dei Susan Marrow challenge all they ought it Do bring it up. They say audio have audio of it Christine. It's faces it's Jesus in there. What a stupid name. Wow. Jesus. I'd break up with them too. But now they're over. They're done. They call it. You said it was public. Yeah. What was it on their show? No, I mean, you see these things right here. It's the article. The hive descended better than the ending. He's saying enjoy the back catalog. It's not working out. We're in a conslander, my name. Yeah, I've seen them.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I'm trying to see. I'm trying to see commercials on Showtime. Showtime. You didn't watch it. Yeah. Remember that you didn't watch it? I didn't watch it. You looked both day go boys.
Starting point is 00:28:42 What the fuck is this? Dan loves them. I saw him as direct competition. I mean you yeah, I didn't Parents can sold for showtime so I don't have it anymore damn suck on that D's use in my row. I guess you won't see season seven of billions Real cool It's also marrow Not Miro any it I did everything once you haven't dinner with me I'm having dinner with Jesus but dega boys break you heard it here first and one of
Starting point is 00:29:10 them says Jesus says I tried y'all but I guess he couldn't make it work because he's not Jesus he's Jesus I'm trying to kind of clip of them being like introduced on another talk show yeah not having luck damn they. Damn, they're never guests on anybody's show. They're on every show. They are, but it's like every show. No, everybody calls them Daisoos and they have it scrubbed from the internet. Like that Rob Delaney said on Kimmel.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Oh, damn. I bet, yeah. I have to be glad him Kroel comes in. I gotta tell you about the dog, dude. Dude, I went. Went to the red dog. Well, when I was in between shows Friday, Thursday, great show, fun show.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Very excited, Bricktown Comedy Club. Yeah, you're going in two weeks. Yeah, I'm bringing Sam Evans with me. I'll be there. I stoked for you. First week in August. Great club. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:58 And then in between shows on Friday, someone says, like, why are you guys not gonna hit the red dog while you're here? and it just hit me I was like oh yeah, I didn't even think about it. It's Oklahoma City the fucking we were so we're gonna go there and do a live broadcast Yeah, a year and a half ago two years ago one of our many things we never followed through on why don't blame myself I blame this company not getting things done can't get my boys to fucking Pearl Jam in town Can't even get us in a parking lot can't even get us in in a parking lot, Hershey PA. Motley crew and by the way, we're like a Futurama joke. It's like Motley crew in 2022.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah. Yeah. And we can't even fucking get in. I can't watch Tommy Lee not play drums for Motley crew. Okay, take three and then take a fucking R and R. Play three and he goes, it's gonna do it for me. Okay, I can't watch Joe and Jit hope to God
Starting point is 00:30:42 that her face doesn't start falling off her skull. Yeah, looking like a lady in my mom's apartment complex screaming for Jim. What is Christine? We can't read these unfortunately. I'm trying to read it. Louis Pug. There it is. No, no, not that. I was saying what is the call saying? Yes, I'm trying to make it. Got you. Got you. Got you. Well anyway, anyway oh there's was a set here but but uh uh sent a link to the audio book pastors E. Pussy 2 and the police called me oh nice pretty cool thank you Lance we have the best show on fashion talk thank you from reddit rumor has it the bird the what
Starting point is 00:31:27 The bird is getting Jay and Christine back. What does that mean? I don't know what that means the bird Blackwoods you take the call Who's the bird the bird poet is what I'm being told oh Seth Simon's? That's the guy. Yes yes how's he's giving out Jane Christine's phone number that's what the caller is saying damn he's really he's really he's really morphing into a super villain is that the caller saying they know that for something on on red they saw or they're just saying they said that it's all over reddit and on Instagram that a bird poet of the Seth Simon guy
Starting point is 00:32:00 he's releasing you Jay's number yes from what he's like Twitter you can't do that that's dogs and someone that's a lead that's absolutely wrong He's releasing J's number. Yes. From what? He's like, you can't do that. That's dogs in someone. That's a lead. That's absolutely wrong. What's wrong? What's wrong? To do that is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Oh, yeah. More or less. Actually, more or less. There he goes. And I just want to, you know what? First thing to say about rape. I don't agree with it. I know I'm all the way at home,
Starting point is 00:32:19 but let me tell you, my morals aren't. First thing to do with you. Find out if we're doxed, yeah. Yeah, I don't know where. Let's take a break. I want to look into this. Well, no, no, no, let me tell you about the weekend. I Christine, find that with you. Find it if we're doxed, yeah? Yeah, I don't know where. Let's take a break. I want to look into this. Let me tell you about the weekend.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I know. Wait, too early for a break. I can pee real bad. Really? I know I've got to call Daisies. And don't forget you do have a break. See what I call them? I think it's so wee time when Adam is here at 6.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Yeah, am I doing it wrong? No, we have time for your story for sure. It's happening. I want to hear it. I got to get off air and call Daisies to make sure he's on it. Jesus, all right. D, it's your boy D. No, but you got to go to the red dog. The red dog. The red dog that we talked about. So I told the audience, which Dan, I
Starting point is 00:32:55 suggest you do one of the nights. Just one. You don't have to go both like me. But go one of the nights and tell the audience to meet and greet theirs. Not far from the club. And they come and it's cool for the club, give it a little business, we talked about them a lot, so it got them thumping a little bit which was cool. And it's such a fucking cool place. Now attached to a dispensary called the Green Dog, that's fun, which is pretty awesome. We walked in, I don't know what the bad rep this place had or used to be like. It's re-remodeled everything so you know. So it's nice. It's very nice inside and great and the girls were all hot
Starting point is 00:33:29 and everybody was like, when I said I was going there like, oh I go on that and they're like, oh it's like, all right, I hope you were a bulletproof vet. They just can't give all these like warnings of it and then we got there and it's fucking great. Unless that's just my kind of place. Everybody in here has a gun. I'd come back and go, I got winged. They got me in the arm. They fucking shot me. Saturday night special.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Fucking blew off my shoulder. The first night I went there, one of the fans, sweetheart of a lady, but her and her husband were like, they just told like, a girl on the bar, like, that guy is like a somebody. Well, they're right there, you know, and like sent him over my way. A stripper? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:09 And she was, she was, I know. Aw, yeah. Yeah. Was she like a she-ham? Because I know you had a she-ham on a fly down there. Yes, big time she-ham.
Starting point is 00:34:18 A she-ham stripper is, that's a real, not fun thing. Buddy, a big time she-ham. Cause she-ham. Yeah, because that's the whole thing. So everything she did also, like she was a boisterous lady. And when she would like laugh, she would go big, she laughed like, and she would slug you in the chest. And you're not expecting this from like a girl.
Starting point is 00:34:40 So multiple times the night, she sent me backwards where it looks pathetic. You look like a dildo getting times the night she sent me backwards where it looks pathetic. You look like a dildo getting like fucking knocked back like that. You're taking a chop. By the way I should say it's in the radio. If we find out in dial back that Seth Simon's is doxing me, I'll murder you. Yeah well let's not say that on the radio. No no dead by me. Let's say that if you turn up dead,'s just how about it'll be because of me. No, I wouldn't do that I'm saying in passing, but I will murder him because now I have to show up as a fucking character witness Which I always told you he would just talk shit when they play the clip back and I'm sitting there with a tie
Starting point is 00:35:18 Yeah, it's the murder trial of Jay and Jay's in fucking. I'm just kidding ultimately, but honestly I'll find a way to find you play it back in Jacob's I'll be there first I hurt your family in front of you Jacob's like I knew what's gonna happen and then I'm there in the courtroom Just looking at you and they go mr. So where are you in the studio when he said that I went I was Did he threaten to take some time in his life he did I'm gonna go my friend Paul Bettany was with me and I realized that I can't kill a person He'll tell you Paul Bettany Back to the red dog put some memories. We don't know what's going on with that fucking bird yet Just if I'm saying I'll kill him listen. We got a lot going on
Starting point is 00:35:58 We the rise of a supervillain. Well, what can I do Jacob? Can I rape his mom and farm? Oh? Dude you can sit down What's justifiable reaction? You can have a stern talking with him. Yeah, you can look him right in the eyes and go I Didn't appreciate what you did can be them up real bad. No, come on. You look him right in the eyes and you go I'd like for you to apologize. It's not fun. Hey, this is why Oklahoma is better. I could just shoot him No, no, no, no, no, you can. This is where you just you know an Oklahoma city You could shoot anybody. It's totally cool. This is like natural sugar. This is good for you
Starting point is 00:36:30 It's like having it's like having an apple for dessert. Mm-hmm. You're helping yourself. Yeah, you're still getting that sweet treat But yeah, do I know you want to go outside and a fucking stomp them into the pavement? No, here's the good news actually. I don't have to do anything I'll find a way to dox him and then people will throw grenades into his house. There's a lunatics out there. And they listen to this show. Don't do that.
Starting point is 00:36:51 I don't want to lose you to the court system and then I have to do D.C. They're my fault. D.C.'s in Dan is not going to be the same. D.C.'s in there. Gone. Like, I didn't know he was still floating around in the... Well, where are you?
Starting point is 00:37:02 This is somebody said that at all. Somebody called and said that doesn't mean that guy that called you guys I don't would he have your number anyway, so Bird bird poet because he did interviews with all of us when he was before he was a superman Oh, he has my number for sure before he turned before he turned to do it. I swear to God back when he was Edwardia Nigma He would just have all these interviews and then he went fucking crazy. He fell into a vat. First boy got with Shane and now he's coming for the whole Avengers, dude. We got a bond together. So you won't mess with fucking
Starting point is 00:37:37 Cranean, man. Well, I'm it made way back to this girl came over. Fast and loose, big ham. Big ham. and then she was doing like that should be your stripper name but I was trying to like talk to like the fans and stuff you go I'll get the show phone you go DJ Lou really no he doesn like go But she's big personality and she's doing all fours and the first of all She's knocking over everything on the bar great recklessness. She's hammered great She starts doing like the thing where she starts like she's on all fours, but she's like going back with her ass And she would just sporadically Drill me and I mean this thing's dense and it's really put me on my ass
Starting point is 00:38:26 Where was she on it? Wait, she was she on the bar. She's on the bar And she would just be up on the bar with her butt going back on all fours and just like you know like yeah Like rocking back and forth with the rest of the body hit you in the face. No, no, no chest, dude But it was like getting hit with a fucking wrecking ball It was what I guess this here our guest is here now. Already? What's up Christine? You find out the big news. There's a lot going on behind the scenes here people and I know I should be doing a better job. It's a little goddamn story. You know we're just trying to talk about it. Guest is here.
Starting point is 00:38:58 We're just going to commercial. All these. We're being doxed. There's so much going on. Are you ready to do subject Christine? We're being doxed She goes the the bird is out of the game. They're in our house now They've got the docks inside of our house. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah send your goons Send your goons Simon. What a bunch of vegan poets hell. Yeah, dude I'm gonna beat you guys up in a Middle-dore I would love if you got the fucking bird call on you and the fucking years log in I mean here This is a bunch of fucking weak bloggers
Starting point is 00:39:30 I always know the funniest thing is if I get fucking it just my shit kicked in by nerds dude If he's just been off learning Krav Maga sense the shame thing you Debbie hilarious He just comes up and shows up fucking yoke to do like Bruce Lee cut. Yeah And you go yeah you didn't say before you find me goes he's like Bruce Lee cut. Yeah. Or he just takes a shirt off and you're like, I'm there. And you go, yeah, you went to the same before he found me, he's still a little bit like. Yeah. He's like, I learned a lesson to be like water. Water, now water can flow.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Or it can crack. And the thing is you throw a punch, and he has his hands behind his head. No, you throw a punch, he's just like this, slight movements. Huh. Huh. I bet you in your legion of skanks.
Starting point is 00:40:05 I didn't know I would return. Hey. Ha. Big tree fall hard. Hey. Ha. Let me something I learned fighting a young bowl. Ha.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Is that patience? It's the greatest weapon. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Chicks and a picture's her pussy just gonna be fucking dudes look exactly like So back to the red duck I found out the greatest thing that ever happened And I don't you know I'm gonna strip clubs really I said I used to work I used to drive the girls to bachelor parties and stuff and everyone knows that this is all K-Fabe the world very Christian behind the scenes Very button up. No you and Christine have, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think to do also because I said you just go in there and it's like girls pretend to like you further money and It's sex wrestling they pretend to be but what different fucking Rules what rules is going with strip club with fucking 50 to 100 people who love you already chanting your name is you walk in yes As soon as I walk in the door the people that were already there like
Starting point is 00:41:22 So they want to know what this is all about. Yeah. So I give... Sluts are curious. Yeah. They're curious, cats. I give the bartender. Their ears went up. They went, a man of importance?
Starting point is 00:41:35 The bartender. Brittany with an NIE at the end. And I... I didn't even know you could do that. Brit-Tanny. Brit-Tanny. Brit-Tanny. Brit-Tanny. Yes. Her.Tan-ee. Brit-Tan-ee. Brit-Tan-ee.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Yes. Her. She's right in the middle of everything. Just watching me look like the shit. You had someone put shades on you and someone put a cigarette in your mouth and another person light it. Basically, oh, I look so cool.
Starting point is 00:41:59 It's big. I'm big, Jay, not because of my sense, but because of my stature. Oh, Dan, did I look so much cooler than I am? Yeah. They put a bow around you and you're like, hard days night, am I right? Well, I also did it when the other girl,
Starting point is 00:42:13 when the other girl is like, this bar that is beautiful, and the she hams really wave on me in the chest where they're pussed and slapping me and hit me and knocking me around. And I'm trying to like keep like the, you know, like hat. But I don't know what to do when a girl's aggressively strip dancing on me.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Sure. So I'm really, I'm doing all the things. I'm like, isn't this funny? I'm raising the roof. No. Or like little finger thing. I don't know what to do. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:42:38 I love watching guys sink into it. I love watching them sink in. You know what I mean? The guys that can't wait to like flick them on. Even I got a bunch of ones and it was like yeah it closes pretty soon after we get there. Yeah. So I as had like 40 bucks in ones or something. So the she ham was just laying there and I'm like doing like the yeah like throw some on your titty and here's a little in your gut. I do a lot of in through the teeth breathing at strip
Starting point is 00:43:01 clubs. I don't go I go with the with With the, with the, with the, with a British the bartender, I'll tell you, I watched a fan. I felt so bad to you. I watched him do. He goes over and he's leaving. Just a buck. He's giving her one last like buck tip. And he tries to put it like in the front of the bra and almost like basically, like, mushes on a nipple. And this poor strip club girls, they really just got to react to this together. They go, all right. Like, it already happens, you're like, oh, y'all right, makes it very human.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Cause that's my reaction to something that's annoying. All right, that's my pussy. All right. All right, you're getting nipple. That's plenty. Watch out, Tomcat. So, two of the bartenders and one of the managers came to the show the next night.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Yeah. And then the show went great. And then after the second show, we went back to the red dog. Now you're coming in even more heat. We gave more warning with the first and second show or there now. Day. And then that Brittany girls saying the people were asking
Starting point is 00:43:59 about before he came in and I was like, that's just kind of what I have. It's just the road. Yeah, man. It's just the road. Yeah, man. It's just the road, my little sweetheart, my little Oklahoma sweetheart. I think I have this place big enough to hold off my fans. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:44:12 You want to put on some Garth Brooks getting hasty? It was a wacky, it's a wacky jukebox going on there. It's all over the place. Yeah, dude. It's a straight honky-tunk watching this, I think Hispanic She-Ham girl, like sing along with like, it was funny, she didn't get any of the words right,
Starting point is 00:44:28 but you know, she would do a song like, I got men's had to places, none of that's right, she's like, mm-hmm. I like this lady, she sounds right after my own speed. You like her? Her name's Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Her name was, yeah, Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Your name was, yeah. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Name really bugs me. One was the last time you got a lap dance. Mine was Montreal, 2012. A lap dance. And I was there with like.
Starting point is 00:44:58 I think when me and Christine went to a strip club like that one time. I really don't know what a strip club is. I really don't know what a strip club is. I remember. I went to, it was in Montreal, which. I knew it was a strip club. I knew it was a strip club. I went to the, it was in Montreal, which by the way, bigjcomedy.com, you'll be hosting the nasty show throughout just for laughs.
Starting point is 00:45:11 We were up there for just for laughs and Joe List was up there. And he's like, we gotta go for lunch. The guy at Good Lunch specials at these Montreal strip clubs. So I don't know how he knew that. It's like a poutine on a drinker. So we went to this strip club to get lunch and we were like drinking. We were still drinking and we drank all day
Starting point is 00:45:27 and it was so fun during the day with the lunch shift. And then three days later, these agents were like, we're gonna go back to Super Sex and they paid for me to go to a little lap dance and I've never seen a woman more apathetic. Like she started her time on her iPhone and then just basically was like, did a little wig on and then it was nickel back
Starting point is 00:45:46 and then at the end she was like, oh, that's so Canadian. Yeah, and then she like didn't, she was like, okay, then I was like, well that was awful. She goes, all right, songs every goes, just like a little bit of an outro, she goes, okay. She's just like, yeah, yeah. Are we having fun?
Starting point is 00:46:01 Yeah. Yeah, happy now. Yeah. But yeah, okay. Is this the end of the song boss? Or what? having fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah., you're like the dad at the dance. We're like all dance Huh? Dancing. What am I doing it? Oh come on kids the last time I got a lap dance Same thing happened to you Dan except she was she started kneeing my my My my nuts. Yeah, but she was staring up at her She was staring up at the ceiling the whole time board. Just knocking your nuts around
Starting point is 00:46:45 Yeah, she goes out here's the old nut rack Here you go. Just sicko. Is this what you want? Is this what you need? Jesus Christ. Oh, she was trying to jack you with her legs. Yeah, you should try to get in need job But there was no, but I could tell she didn't really like me None of them ever like you none of them do. None of them do. None of them do. Yeah, but you can pretend at least. There was no emotion. Yeah, it's like, Jacob.
Starting point is 00:47:09 It's like co-op. I wanted her to stop. It was like painful. Because she was like, you could tell I was, what, it was number 57 on the night and it was horrible. Jacob, I'll tell you. I didn't even ask her to. I'm still, I'm all in that world too of how it works.
Starting point is 00:47:23 This was lightning in a bottle situation. So when we went back the second night, the bartender, young Brittany, was whipping it where I felt very, very good about myself. Very, very flattering. Nice dude, live your life queen. And then it was obvious enough that like the club, I don't think they like when that happens.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Do you know what I mean? So they really try to put a shutdown on it. You're messing with the fucking stash. Yeah, maybe. And then what happened was she came outside finally. And I was like, oh, there's a bunch of us like going back to the hotel, but I was like, I have you want to come hang.
Starting point is 00:48:03 And then all this club saw was the guy Graham, who's manager of the club, awesome dude, yummy Graham. He's driving in a Ford F-150, like extended cab. It's a truck. And just like a bunch of like me and the like, stay there and it's like, hey, hopping this truck with a bunch of dudes. And the club was just like, ah!
Starting point is 00:48:24 They were like, they're gonna, and then their friend goes, we're gonna follow you and I was like, that's it. Yeah, that's a wrap for sure. Hey, they did not follow us. Come become evidence. Come get in this truck and then the next time anyone sees you, it'll be on a table in a courtroom.
Starting point is 00:48:39 You're gonna go get a guest. All right. Seems pretty cool though, all the attention. Yeah, felt, the girl's very, very beautiful and it felt so I was like, shot. Yeah, dude pretty cool though. All the attention. Yeah, felt. The girl's very, very beautiful. And it felt so I was like, shot. Yeah, dude. No way. And like, it wasn't strip club paying attention to me.
Starting point is 00:48:53 It was like, could we get the fuck out of here soon? And I was like, yeah. And I think also I was so giddy and jumpy from that never happening in my life that I also probably was a two to a low out like, so come outside like when you're done, like we'll be outside smoking and stuff, so we'll come outside and I think the managers were just like,
Starting point is 00:49:08 yeah, you can't go with the guy. And it was like, even with a famous guy, and they were like, is he though? And I don't have a good argument again today, is he though? I don't know. I don't know, you got docs, dude. That's pretty famous on the famous guy.
Starting point is 00:49:19 We got docs, and one person called me in Christine, so that's pretty cool. Maybe this is dark, but you know what this reminds me of when you were telling this story. The opening of shinler's list. When he's trying to win over all the Nazis, they don't know who he is. And he's so so it becomes the life of the party. And they ask, who is that? That's Jay Ocarus. Yeah. That's exactly what it was. You know, I keep me. I look so fucking cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:44 You're just lightning in a bottle that will never, ever happen again. And let's say you all of my meet and greets at local strip club. Dude, I think you found your vein. I don't know if it's not a great idea. It actually kind of is. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on Syria 6M!

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