The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Penis, Butt, or Leave (feat. Kurt Metzger)

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

The great Kurt Metzger tells a disturbing tale of childhood horseplay.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now The Bonfire, with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly. Yo, this place fucking sucks. Whoa.

Jesus. What happened? This place sucks, dude. What happened? Um, we have a guest in. Yeah. And his lovely lady came in and said, I was just radio.

There's no cameras. And I'm like, well, there are cameras. Plenty of them. Really expensive ones, I think, with the whole control room with joysticks that move them. We're actually top of the line. Top of you could do a TV show. This room is built like a submarine Titanic tour.

And then, I was just so high, my end point. None of it works. You get lower though. You're going in your headphones The volume button thing next to the headphones What I mean no you're smart in other parts. Yeah, you do yeah, no, I don't I don't know the tech stuff I don't handle that very smart in really other ways a lot of other ways. Thank you for saying it Thank you everybody our guest joining sitting in with us today for the whole show one of my oldest fraction my oldest friend in comedy Yeah, really yeah, you're from Philly. No, but I saw a comedy there with Jack me and it's a it's still area. So everybody Kurt Metzger Just filmed his there's a stadium of people excited. Yeah, man

looks like yeah man it's got it's got it's got it's got it's the uh bird christian tour that's the fully loaded crowd is it it's murdering me slowly now quickly oh quickly you can't let right your tour have a Kevin Hart for themselves for one now the bird christian tour is fully loaded it's like going fucking 20 rounds a week and then you come home and then do radio yeah everybody's kid and he's gonna be dead at the end of the tour. I do have to do you got a Bert drink to do it. No, Bert drink. No, it's not even the birth.

It's just that, uh, first of all, it's a blast. But you know, so is an amusement park and when you leave there after a day, you're like, like your zipped. Yeah. Every day is like, like some of these wake you up and they're like, we have circus training. Birds. I can't imagine a shape. Circus. Yeah, every day is like like some of his wake you up and they're like we have circus training Birds and great actually Both you can go fuck yourselves. What he's not in great shape. He's a shape. No. Yes for sure

But I'm telling him I'm with him every weekend He's got chest. Yeah, first chest shoulders and and arms are really strong and he is strong. Like you know, I've been watching him lift weights and stuff. He's very strong. It's all gut. He cranked up like 225 for 10. He's pretty like, that's what I was doing. I was young. That's a lot. Yeah, he's strong. He's not in shape. Well, in shapes the wrong word. I know you you're saying I think of Brad Pitt I think of You know, it's a very feminine way to think about it. It's not invalid I don't think he's he's not with a feminine perspective

Oh, you have to you think about someone's in shape only if they're cute to you. Yeah, they have to be cute Yeah, no, no, no, no, birds like In weirdly good shape, but it's just all got He's got all that gut. That's the whole thing, but it's gut. It's a lot of gut. He's a lot of guys. It's fine No, that's the worst. I remember when he was that we were certain Bobby was gonna die, but no one said anything to what is it called Adapose it's got that's a visceral fat. It's visceral fat. Not the adipose It's visceral. I thought the all gut one is the one that pulls on your organs the worst and really makes you a... That's fat.

It's fucking the... Three shape guys, auto-shape guys don't know what fat we have. Hey, as long as we're talking about weight everybody. Whoa, don't do it. Don't stop. Wait, stop. What? Don't do it.

It was a goodie. But she wasn't here. But she doesn't know, doesn't hurt her. What? Alright. I don't know what it's good. I don't know what it's. But she doesn't know, doesn't hurt her. What? All right. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know.

Oh, it's not on air. It's not on air. It's not on air. Would you say Bobby, you say a do you need a exempt? No. Oh, Bobby, now Bobby wants me to say it. Now you know what? Unleash the fucking house.

You guys are all in here, hopped up on Ozempic. So. Unleash it. Who complimented you while you weren't here? Yeah, we'll pick a nice compliment. I walked in with Kurt's girlfriend, Jenna. And we walked in and Bobby goes, I go, hey, everyone, this is Jenna and Bobby goes,

oh, yeah, I was gonna say, like, Christine looks different. And DJ Lugo's, Ozempics kicking in. I know it was an Ozempic joke, I got it. I know. I thought it was like a blonde hair joke I didn't know it was a blonde hair Oh, different. Hey, you look different. You're a different human being. I didn't say better a worse. No, that's I didn't take it like that Then whoo that Lou did it. I didn't accidentally. I didn't even really look at her

Mm-hmm just came out and right into my foot in my mouth. Well, by the way, then we have you shouldn't have done that because what if we were all awkward because Janet was super fat or something. And you go, ozempics kicking in. Oh, never mind. I mean, I wouldn't should be. There's a weight limit at this party. That's right. Do you think ozemp pick, have you, are you using it? Yeah. Yeah. Was there like a shortage of diabetics couldn't get it? Was that my issue?

How's that my issue? I don't care if you use it. I'm just curious. I thought it's like not sustainable. Like you end up like, you know, it starts not working after a bit. Stop OZM pick and get medical help right away. I lose.

Get a lump or swelling and that's not the case. Or an allergic reaction. Just give me this song, Lou. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, off of it, it won't be doing anything anymore, but if you don't go back to eating, it is sustainable, unless you don't sustain it. And if you need to go back on it, you could always go back on it. It's not like the fat people version of steroids

where you gotta get off the juice eventually, is what I'm saying. Well, you can't see on it forever. Oh, they will recommend you stay on it forever. Well, you shouldn't do that, but I'm sure they'll let you stay on it forever. They will let you stay on forever. You lose a foot. If you go off of it, well, if you get diabetes, well, I mean, yeah, if you get the beat us, if you get the beat us, you'll just do see that. I can only remember what her position is. Some some chagers got appointed as like the national health of what it you know It's like a three-letter something, but you know like the the fat diagnosis stuff now that you know You got to tell your patient like don't tell them to prop them if they're fat. Yeah, it's insane

But the reason is she sponsored by OOO's epic So you're all that I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. it that? No, I'm sort of. It was something to that effect. Fats and in shapes. It was in the 80s.

Because the in shapes, no, that was the idea that the in shape people, they were like, look at these dicks talking about, we should all wake up and jog and run and be in shape and care about what we eat. They ate about that and then the fat people were like, I'm fat, fat or substantially at the time. And the argument for the,

I was like, how are they not embarrassed having this argument? They're like, why do we have to be in your shape? Like, if I'm happy like this and it's like, you're not, because no one stays fat except precious. I saw her on that prank panel yesterday and she has lost nothing. Fat, there's no old fat people. Is there, are, sure.

There's no more. Who? The guy won't, won't finish those game of thrones books. There's, there's one. There's one. There's one. There's only one.

Just a, I'm getting around at the Emmys. But every, every fat person making TikToks, every in front of the camera fat person. Absolutely. Boss weight. Even though they talk that Monique was my favorite one because Monique was really like the, fuck y'all skinny bitches and she's like the epitome

of that kind of comedy. And as soon as she like got rich, she like started losing weight. Yeah, you get your hand on your face. You gotta, you're saying she betrayed your people? Wait, what is this? She turned on us. I turned on you to I apologize

This would have way better show was just to chubby guys really yeah, just look at us now Bobby's like I don't know does that go good with kale shut the F up Do you want some veggie sticks there we go there's some fats I wonder how fat I could have got because people get fat in different ways. Yeah I wonder how fat I could have got because people get fat in different ways. We found out. Yeah I didn't want to say I'm not fat I could have got this as fat as you got that hurt. I think you could have done That hurt and it was very funny. I felt two feelings at the same time Bobby's only person that is max weight bought a tiny house

Very concerns Bobby's the only person that is max weight bought a tiny house Max weight tiny house Well, that's why I lost the weight. Yeah, you didn't get in that thing at some point wow that's like a Great like a if there was a fat prison that would be the But you want to sell them like you want more room Creative Yeah, that'd be a good Japanese TV show. Just give fat Japanese people a bunch of... 60 pounds is.

Wait, what is it? Fats something tiny house? What is it? Small space? Oh, I said, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh They have a little toy helicopter, like as if it's gonna get you out of there. Down a little house. The helicopter drops the house on top of them. As they're eating ramen, they trick them into the field with a big thing of ramen, and then it just drops it and it's locked. You were in a position, though. You weren't fat at all, Bobby, until you became it.

No, I had my first fat was, uh, what was it? Sixth grade. But I know you that. I remember a skinny Bobby. I'm gonna come to York skinny Gweto Bobby. Yeah, so yeah It's like a like a knock around guy. They call it the mob Got into five thousand two five hundred street fights That's so many fights you have to be when you say yourself a tough guy then you a tough guy dude Tough guy. Wait. What are you doing? What is that fucking Vin Diesel bro? Vin Diesel baby? In the film knockaround guys.

500 fights. Oh man. No it was a weird number. It goes 417. No he- but the guy was like what? It was a redneck. He goes he actually made the redneck like like smart. He went what the fuck he talked about? Are you okay? The redneck is like should I even be talking? You might have brain damage. Yeah, they go, you go,

before you consider yourself a tough guy. You guys still like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? Oh my god. And then he beat him up with Jewish star tattoos on him. That was, remember he was Jewish? Yeah, he was Jewish. Wait, not around guys. Vin Diesel played a Jewish monster?

Yeah, well, it was, the movie was about this. the movie was about this the movie was about the sons of mobsters trying to come into his own So it was that guy who's got maybe the most slapable face in Hollywood He didn't do very much Barry something. Well, he did he did battlefield earth Yes terrible which I oh very pepper very pepper, but he did do what was the 25th hour is this what the only he was good at I was well now what was no he did no he did private right? I thought his face was fine by the way He did what was the show the he played a good 61 he was great. Oh, yeah movie 61 he played a great civil war ghost. He looks like he gives a tight blow job But here's the thing with the size of that mouth. He fell the fuck off.

What an Asian pussy of a mouth. Why? Yeah, well, maybe he wouldn't let somebody use it and that's goodbye. He went from kind of good looking to really bad. Like he's one of those. He became a crone. Yeah, if you see him now, it's fun. He doesn't look like a famous person.

He looks like a regular person. I said this Bob. A windixie. Bobby, many times I've said this. That's it. All Irish faces, they got two outcomes. Or maybe or spooky witch. It's 100% true. There's something happens.

Big your poison. That's what I'm so glad I have Filipino in me. That's a roughie. You got rough, man. He got rough. That face falls the fuck off. You know, I was watching last night I watched the first episode of the new season of Secrets of Playboy.

What were those secrets? Well, rape. I'll tell you what. No, rape in the grotto. Here's my problem with the season two premiere. No asshole shots. No asshole shots. They dialed back on that.

No, they've taken out. The first season was very, very interesting. Not that it wasn't, these things were a major surprise, but them really spelling it all out and telling, from the girls, like, like the Don Cornelius, like kidnap two of them one time, like took him to his house and then he wouldn't let them leave until like, they ran a soul train.

But yeah, oh yeah, they did the soul Those gigs and tried to warn us, but you all shouted him down. We all caught him a piece of shit. He tried to warn that Russian war There's no better piece audio and all of radio than that was my summer jam You're a shot of blown There's no better piece audio in all of radio than that was my summer jam It's the voice in between is in between so he's like I can't even count me time to have said that to someone Why don't you shut up? I Hear his argument. I just like the way presented it. I got no problem with it. He built a recording studio From music. You know, she wasn't good. Oh, wow. There's not one blowjob out. He built a recording studio.

From music, you know, she wasn't good at it. Oh, wow. There's not one blowjob out of building you a recording studio to record the shittiest singing. Ha, ha, ha. So the first season had stuff like that and also that they had their own in-house like police and, uh, and medical. Like Disney? Yeah, and medical.

So it's like, Playboy had its own police. Just like their own, so they're the founders. So like when they, when the girl escaped from Don Cornelius, like in the middle of the night, like got out of her shackles, I guess, and got to a phone. Her first instinct was to call the bunny mother or whatever the hell they call her. But the shackles were made out of chocolate coming.

When she got out, they called and they sent over their security to come get the girls. They had them treated by their doctors. And then she was like two weeks later, Don Cornelius was like just sitting in the Playboy Club again. So it was a lot of stories like that. Now the season two, they're jumping into an interesting time

because it's the early 2000. That was all like the 70s, 60s. They told the bill cause, we shit, they told all that stuff. This one starts in the girl next door, search for a centerfold TV show. And these are a lot of girls crying about like, again, it's a difference between like rapin regret.

These girls are like, and then I move back to my neighborhood, and everyone's like, you're the girl who posed naked. Well, then I can't even do this right, and you're like, I don't want to do this. Like, it was a choice. She all choice. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You tell me, it was about the very things

that you have to have to do on each arm. Yes. One such rapin regret. Rapin regret. Rapin regret. Ray pin regret. Yeah, it's just like it was funny to it. The end of the hour, it's only one episode so far. At the end of that first hour though, at least there was one girl

who was like even telling her story as like, I was uncomfortable with this. I didn't like when they did this and but and at the end of it, she goes, but I mean, I chose the post, post replayable. That's what I wanted to do. So you know, she's like, I would do it this. I didn't like when they did this and the end of it she goes, but I mean I chose the post-replayable. That's what I wanted to do. So you know, she's like I would do it again. I thought it was very cool. Like she only had no, but every other girl was just like, you know, I was nervous and then like when we first go in

like very quickly, it goes also they go, you realize very quickly like you're a product. Like they're talking about your rest and stuff like you're not, and then they all say that too when they're like showing also every playboy. You play boy what less to like more degrading than that if you work at Starbucks. Can I ask you a question is it like a seal team do they all get like their own rooms they have to bunk up? They certainly all get their own room. They get their own room so they're all like separate. They're not like you. It's you like a team of chicks that are doing something together. It's like first of all I'm over this and I've heard this

only not with porn stars with Playboy type stuff or Hooter's Girls or something like that they all go you know they were like judging my body and like I'm extremely insecure about my body. It's like you're not though. Yeah I can see your vagina lips. Yeah like you're not insecure about my body. It's like, you're not though. Yeah, I can see your vagina lips. Yeah, you're not insecure about your body. So it is kind of it is insecure. They also, they also have a that's a mental insecurity. Yeah. You're trying to show off something you know, looks good. So you're putting that foot there. And they're insecure about that. Am I the best one of all the best ones? Right. But that's not how they're they're presenting it where it's like if they go, I know, they go like, they got like they got to over here Then when the show came out saying things like our torsos a little short and then it goes back to the girl building like

Christine said I should work for playboy because I think it could be half. Yeah, I could be hefty You could show me a picture of the hottest girl and I'll pick her apart because I don't think she's gonna fuck me anyway. So I'll tell you why I'm a fuck her. You got the objectivity of a gay man. Yes. That's what I go. She ain't gonna fuck me. So let me tell you now why I won't fuck her. I'll real stay between those eyes. I'll tell you that. You worked at strippers a lot back in the day. Sure. Yeah, but those were bad. Yeah, let's I would yeah, I like Bayonet wounds. Hey, let's uh dude They had fucking stomach scars. Oh, buddy. Oh, yeah, the best ones had stomach scars. That's the better dancers

The worst ones had this colored assholes that would be part of the show that people would look at what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean like the it was like a well into the crack the the hole? Why would you do climate change or something was it this colored because of things happening to it or No, I think it was something happened because I will tell you that this was the first girl average row Who I told you I developed an immediate crush on because she likes a thick a stripe No, and then about a year or so later one of those monkeys at first dude Fantastic everything about her mega hot Like one of those monkeys like a rainbow? No, at first dude, fantastic.

Everything about her, mega hot. Then I think Mr. Brownstone got ahold of her and I didn't see her for like a year or so and I was driving for another company. And then she ended up being like one of the girls I was driving and it was like, oh wow. And then I took her that night to go do the show. And like the first time I took this girl out,

every guy was like really acknowledging how hot she was. And now it was like corners of guy snickering it. Like the depth of the brown of her at. And it wasn't like shit. It was just discoloration from asshole probably about to that big of a circle in the ass. How does that happen? Nuclear testing. Life, man testing. Life man. Life. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh One is the army hammer documentary. Oh, we've talked about that. Sure. No, we bring it up Please I only got half hour in she got she got mad watching it. I can't believe I want army hammer side

I haven't seen the rest but first half hour. I'm on his side. Okay, watch the rest I've made this mistake before wait before you say this. Let me tell you laugh at this hard because I've done this with several things now. Yeah, I've learned one of my top motto's now in life, finish the thing. Finish the thing before you comment on it. I remember going, I told you, when I went to Arty Lang with three pages left of his book and told him that I read earlier in the book,

I was like, hey man, I'm really happy to hear that you weren't trying to kill yourself, did it was like, you didn't read the last three pages? Where he tells you, he lied earlier in the book and he was trying to kill himself. I went to talk to him about how happy I was he didn't try to kill himself and he was like, oh, you didn't finish right? Yeah. Like I just, I think you got a better version of the book. Well, it turns out, but then he took a nice or won't version. And then the other one was when I watched two of three episodes of Takashi

69 documentary. Yeah. And I was like, was when I watched two of three episodes of Takashi 69 documentary. Yeah. And I was like, you know this guy's not necessarily my thing, but I dig his thing. He's a stitching. No, it interesting. I don't give a shit about that. He's an interesting artist though.

I was like the way he kind of came up and the way he did it, like all say what. He was very sure with AIDS on it. Yes, but I'm saying he was like, I don't mind like when an artistic kid figures out a thing. Yeah. It's basically two pock didn't shit. So he figured out a thing. Yeah, it's basically two-poch didn't shit.

So he figured out a thing and then I would, I mean, I went on, I was on bonfire talking about how awesome I think he was. We should get him at Skankfest. I was talking on a Legion of Skanks about it. And then I went home that night and I, and the third one starts right away with like, then he tied his girlfriend to a radiator and beater

for seven months straight and I was like, who? Should I get back on the air? To cause she six nine. It is any, is it? The third episode of three episodes I didn't watch before I was singing his praise. Can I ask a question? Is it me in there, right? Yeah.

Then why do you have a radiator? Yeah. I don't know. Or rady? Didn't you have central heat like in the mansion? I don't know. I have to play. It may have not tied to a radiator.

That was my black snake, my remituation. Okay. Well, even more than the hero army hammer. Jonah Hill's girlfriend. She's like girlfriend, did you see that? I did, did you see this Bobby? Let me fill in if you don't know this. So, I'm on the inside, 100%.

I'm with, I actually, I watched the whole army hammer thing. Yeah. And I still on army hammer side. There's a way I'm true. I think, I actually I watched the whole army hammer thing. Yeah, I still on army hammer side. I am true I think I think what that's not true. Okay, let's just summarize this story Army hammer wasn't doing too well in Hollywood. Yeah, his movies are flops But then he's doing great. Okay, why because he just made a movie called call me by your name. Yep the story of a man Him okay, so it's him a man his age who falls in love with the kid from Dune who plays a 17 year old boy who he's tutoring. I mean, I didn't know what that was about. I was like, that sounds like a movie I want, but he was on top of the world. Yeah.

Playing a grown man. It bangs a teen boy. Yeah. Hot teen boy. Hot teen boy. So time to eat a woman. Then it comes, but he didn't actually eat anyone right no He just do they show that right in the beginning they start showing these girls and you she pointed out I don't even I was I don't even know if I was watching out I came in to watch it because first of all It's a corny fetish grab he goes. I want to do the Japanese art of Mabuki and no, I know it's called yeah Some some really lame shit. No, because there's a porn star we have you to hit her last name You have a barry Broch in shibari shibari. It's all about it's all about knots though. Okay, so scary music right while you're saying this

Okay, then her response heart emoji. Oh Yeah, no, no, there's no point where they go. Yeah they go you're married I don't want to be Mobykey whatever it is I absolutely say the thing I'm saying he's just like a fucking Wacked out guy I when the girls tell the stories I'm like these things are so voluntary they're doing it's like I don't know right you don't let somebody tie you up a volume you when you say when you say on an app called FetLife he couldn't went on a FetLife app and found people who go oh, Kubuki. What is it? Shibari, dude? Kubuki is something else.

Kubuki is making up. Oh, Shibari, I'm into that. And I'll be, you're gonna be kicked out of the club, you keep calling the wrong name. He wanted it. There's one thing they don't joke about. Next Shibari. Shibari. Call Kubuki and get a coffee. Oh my God, after it's meanin' Shibari from a...

Life is beautiful or whatever. Oh, I did not. There's Kelly Shabari is a fat Asian porn star. If you let somebody tie you up, you can't, how do you, I thought, I mean, you got to voluntarily have, say, yeah, tie me up. Now you're, you might not like it after and say, hey, I don't want to do that again. Sure.

But if you do it twice, I mean, kind of go fuck yourself. Rape versus regurt. Well, I don't know about rape. Versus regurt? I mean, I mean, what? Listen, I don't know about rape versus regurt. I mean, I mean, what? Listen, I don't think those things should be in a whole. The same area. But watch the rest of the documentary. I mean, this two guys definitely not awesome. He comes from also garbage stock. Look, all that's true. But again, he was just on top of the world for

being in a boy fucking movie. Yeah. Okay. And then they're like, what? You, this woman's a CEO and you wanna do Shmabuki on her? I know what you're saying. He's saying, listen, he fucked a boy in a movie. It was awesome. And he was getting a reward for it. And then when he did a little Shabuki bouquet

and then they attacked him. When a couple of girls were like, I didn't like it and it made me feel uncomfortable. Which sucks. I don't, you know, that that sucks for you. So you did consenting things as an adult. I've both the women in here staring at me right now with their eyebrows up as I'm saying this. She's against the women. Oh, you're against. She convinced me. I was on the women's side. I was like, you know what?

Hey, to me, it's not the women's side. That's just that he's a fucking whacker. I'm just like my wife, like my wife from Boston said, if you don't fucking like it, just say no and get the fuck out of there. You feel like no one ever tries that, like, just splitting. I don't even have it even comes up once it's like, oh, I did a thing as a consenting adult. I didn't like, oh, okay, that happens sometimes. And life has an adult. The Jared documentary from Subway, that was pretty damn it.

That was crazy, dude. That was damn it. To catch us up way. It's odd. Dude, I didn't realize you know why it's so great. This is a funny sketch I said I wanted to do because you know I like watch those pedophile hundred videos. I did have a grainy footage one from like the 50s Really guys what it's it's Elvis I'm just saying all the tropes of pedophile hunt cat when they catch pedophiles he goes oh man. I always just come in the teller This is a bad idea. Oh no man it's not what you think.

No this this this. No no no man that ain't me. That ain't me at all man. I love peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches. Did you bring the condoms? Do you said you were gonna bring? What condoms? Do you say you were gonna bring? Well, condoms, man. That and I, and Bobby, I still haven't shown you the demand-tage of Chris Hanson when he walks out

and repeats the line that the last guy just said to the what he thinks is a child. Like when the girl goes upstairs and the pet of five goes, he's like, I'm really looking forward to kissing all over your body. And he's like, I'd like to have my body kissed Frank. Why don't you have a seat? You always like turns the line on the first As a friend goes can't wait to be inside you would you like to be inside a me Ralph? Anyway, Joan Hills also here. Oh, I want to say here

So let me explain Bobby the whole thing is going on. Yeah, you could bring up the text too. Yeah, I think you probably think what I think. Oh, yeah, this chick sucks. Yes, this chick definitely sucks. Now, here's what he dated. Well, look at me. I'll tell you the story. It's easier. Look, he was dating a surfer girl for a while. I don't like that you don't have confidence in my reading. She's trying to take him. I've seen it. She's trying to read this green. I do look like those old 58-year-old can women trying to read the comments. You guys put what where?

You want to air what's an area? Oh, my nipple. Okay. Sorry. So, you're taking a start from this, what you are going to take away from it. And I think probably I was agree. I'm on Jonah Hill side as far as like who's the piece of shit here. But he's a weiner.

He showed that he's like an insecure dude. But he's like, I don't know. It's like again, this is like you don't have to post this. You could just seem like to stop dealing with him. She, he's texting all, he doesn't like, she's a surfer, she posts pictures of her like in bikinis and she goes surfing with dude, groups of dudes that go surfing and all this stuff. And none of them have boards and they're not by the ocean.

He hates it. She misses him Minneapolis January. Ited him Minneapolis, January. It's a landlock city. What is she surfing oil tank? What are you saying? Look at, here she is showing her whore surfer body. That's the picture they keep showing the white outfit there. Now it's like...

It's a monster. That's not anything. That's nothing. It's nothing. I thought it was a thong picture, supposedly. Well, there's the one that had the article that I saw. But whatever, whether it's a thong picture or not, these aren't really. She's a surfer.

Yeah. Jonah Hill, first of all, she clearly removes any of her stuff. And again, it's funny we brought to Mel Gibson thing. It's one of my favorite things about Mel Gibson. When one person is putting something out, they can just remove all of like input it all and make it look and that's what I mean That's what I'm saying with the girl The girl Mel Gibson's like the girl you're talking to when he's yelling his wife. That's why she knows me of course

She's like I don't know why you feel that way about the Jews Why would you say some how about your feelings about tablox? Yeah. Where have women convote now? Did you know that? He's a, he's a wiener. He says he's, I know your therapist thinks I suck, but I'm literally the best boyfriend. Next text on earth. I love that. He had to get that in there. He writes plain and simple. This is Jonah Hill to his girlfriend at the time. But she did give him a thumbs up. Yeah.

If you need bullet point surfing with men, boundary lists and appropriate friendships with men to to model, to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with women who are in unstable places, and from your wild recent past, beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful, then I'm not the right partner for you. If these things bring you to a place of happiness, I support it, there'll be no hard feelings. These are my boundaries for a romantic partnership. My boundaries with you based on the ways these action have hurt our trust. So you can already hear she should just go,

all right, then yeah, bye. Yeah, well, you're saying she shouldn't wait for like, three years for his new girlfriend to have a baby and then bring it out? Yeah, I mean, really. Yeah, she brought it out now. I think that's not what that is. No, she goes, why should now?

I go, well, I knew it could cause stress on a woman who's pregnant, so I went away. She had the baby. Another stressful time. Yeah, the postpartum suicide period. I mean, this girl's a pig and the fact that she would just even do that. Okay, even why bother? That shows you what she was up to the whole time with him because why she

want to be with Jonah Hill. She would be Jonah Hill to get some clout off of him, which I'm sure he feels as a as a ballooning fat guy up and down his whole life. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey saying basically, I'm a really fun, it's a good guy. And I can't, so I support you doing that. And then move down to somebody else who's down to be not do whatever. And then she puts, like, why would his new girlfriend need to know this at all other than to like,

Yeah, but this is what he's saying is, look, I don't wanna date the slut from point break. I would just like a regular chick. Well, there's a thing, I don't know if she's a slut from point break, whatever her, that she's got. Her puts this out at all. Yeah.

And like, I mean, think of this, oh my God, I was told by Lewis too, like the amount of tags that like luckily, I just didn't date complete animals that would take one side of a thing like that. Oh yeah. But I never was that famous. Like at his level, Jonah Hilly, that rich and famous. No, it's gonna have. You don't not look like Jonah Hill suddenly. Oh, Christine could probably end me with some argument text for sure every

Living person that could be look at Christine's face I'll end her to one of each. Yeah, no go down in a spiral. Yeah But but it's not like she's trapped into like a, like, okay, but let's say they were married and he had some great lawyers something and she's trapped in some situation and then they're dating. Yeah, they dated once and stopped dating and moved on when they're lies for years and she puts that out.

So that's like, I didn't get the cloud. Is that what you mean? I wanted something out of you that I didn't get. But she's crazy. Yeah. This is a dick move. He actually put it out there. Look, this is the type of chick I want. If you want that I didn't get but she's crazy. Yeah, this is a dick move He actually put it out there look. This is the type of chick I want if you want that guy Do you think I'm not into this weird shit? I don't want to look at my girl hanging out with other girls that are unstable And I don't want to I feel he's I feel like what he's asking for is sort of silly being that's what I'm saying where he's a wiener like

But don't take a surf and structure is because he has to end up saying that he's saying Where he sounds where he sounds stupid knees. It's like funny to me is when he goes look he has to keep going look I respect surf culture He keeps saying things about surf culture Yeah, right there. I'm tired of your attitude towards surf towards surf culture That contest and that place because I deserve respect. And where there's another line where he says something about surf culture. Are you on your period?

Oh, I miss right there. But nobody wants to get beat up by the Red Hat Chili Peppers when you go to the beach. So you have to support the surf culture. Oh, wait, I think he's, yeah, there it is. I, it's just constant and it doesn't reflect where we're at or where you say you want to be. I respect your skill and your surfing.

I respect how you wanna present yourself. I respect that you're hot and beautiful, but I also respect myself and what I'm interested in in my own life and what I let into my heart and inner circle. So celebrate. Do you know why he's talking like that? Do you?

Because this is a crazy person and people that are rich in the higher echelons of of the a whatever know to talk in therapy worm talk when they argue yeah they use it as a passive aggressive way to art not many say it's passive aggressive this is this is a crazy chick I have she's gonna clearly she was always gonna post his text you knew so he was smart enough to not talk or how she should be spoken to. He was trying to get out of it without incident. Yup.

That's all that is. Please let me get the fuck outta here. It's a little bit sort of manic texting. He's backing up. He's probably furious that this wing nut, even if it's a deal with her, that's how you get out of it. If he got money, you know how to talk like that.

Yeah, but he's backing up going bear, easy bear, it's okay bear. I'm gonna say, look at this next to it. If you if he got money, you know how to talk like that. Yeah, but he's backing up going bear easy bear. It's okay. Bear. Look at this next to it. I hope my ex has a daughter or heart. Maybe she'll turn him into a real feminist because the who put that up? Is that about? I think that's it. So that's her story. She has a institutionalized for that. That is a wacky text, but he is another girl pregnant and she posted this now.

That's what happened. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, after they broke. So, I mean, in her fairness, you turned into a real feminist after you had Isabella. I really did. Jay was like, hey guys, come on.

Stop that kind of joking around. Guys, women's issues, big on my plate. Well, I actually turned into a woman hater when I got married. Oh, I used to have them all. I got them all. Now that they're like better and have dicks, I'm way into it. The new and improved mess-free woman. Now that they have penises.

Now that they've been upgraded. Yeah, this is not going to hurt Jonah Hill at all. Also, anything he's doing is nothing that would go. I don't want to work with this guy. Seems like if you're not a surfing girlfriend, you're fine. I've never heard and ended all this nonsense. This way his girl's actually like out of her mind Inverhurt that ended way amber heard nobody

It's gonna. Oh, I would she said he's a misogynist only in like dingbat publications online No way in real life is anyone going to be like oh Joan it hit like there's probably some agency at work behind it too By the way, um, what do you mean some agency? Well like how me too was a vehicle for a Lysmolano, because her husband works CAA. And yeah, and that was a big, you know, they just, how entertainment works? You take it for some black person, and then they gave it a Lysmolano.

I mean, Lysmolano would hate everything happened at CAA. No, she, it was for her benefit, right? Rose McGowan's the one that set all of it at the time. What do you mean? Rose McGowan who was big me to the beginning. She was all of her documentaries. That's a loose cannon. Yeah, because she saw it.

So, CAA. By the way, you know you have to be super crazy when you're presenting a case that people want to hear and they want to like how about they think Harvey Weinstein's a piece of shit. And then you watch her and like, you think a producer would be like, you know what Rose, don't do this confessional from an empty bathtub, fully dressed. Like it's not going to read good to the audience.

These are all just there on cry and hold like a candle in a bathtub. Do you understand? Like these are actors like they don't under a bunch of people. The big Patrice dragon mouth talk that I'm back in the chin roast that he went like two hours he told me out the shit. What? About like going in the entertainment industry is like walking into a dragon's mouth.

You heard him talk about that right? No. And then shit you out and you and people get back and on. I thought Patrice was overrated. But go ahead. Well, when actors find out what it's all about, like the Playboy thing you're talking about at the beginning of, I was just a product. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When they didn't realize that, then when they do realize they're like, Jesus Christ, and different things happen, they've shattering different ways. I just think anyone going into the world of the voluntary walking into Playboy is like, and they just shuffle you into playboy is like, and they just shuffle you through and they're like, take your top off of this. You're going to like, you know, what did you say? But then you're all Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

you're going to a pretty contest. You're complaining about that. I actually tried that same thing as day and whenever a playboy thing came as like, secret to playboy, not none of that, Don Quirney is kidnapping. It was just like, and then this guy is like a pimping and he treated me like a ho It's all like that kind of stuff. I don't like oh my god, and then

I was I go online to find this got be some girl Like vlog who's like explains what in the hell you know like what they think of this and this girl I think she even Christian some hot chick that I think is like Christian or something she goes Yeah, when I was younger That's when the girls next door was on the reality show So all these girls that were young saw and they showed and I was like oh they showed a picture like in the shows animated beginning With the girls and she like I just thought like these girls live with an old man and they get to be pretty all day in a house Like the thing I was like would you think you just live with an old man and get to be pretty all day? And that's what they thought.

Because it got sold on E. There you go, like a fun cartoon. So, you know, team Dippy girls that watch that are hot. Then you have to spread your ass along James Conjurk's off on your back. They have no idea. But they had no idea.

They had no idea. In fact, I had no idea. He goes, yeah, sure sure it's all fun in games for a while and then until Paul he sure has to skull fuck you and done taking a piss you have to suck on Captain Kirk's not like the old Hollywood or Dick Green to suck Dick Gregory's balls the only way you can finish they really like made the show like non-sexual. Like they made it out like it was in a sex agreement. They sanitized the show.

So that's how new young, that's the thing. That's the girl's next door. So what the, that first episode was focusing on though was the girls next, the first run of that was called the girl's next door, the search for the next centerfold. So it was a contest. Then it became a reality show.

But the contest was, that's what they took everything out. The contest, what they were upset about, actually these girls, which is again sort of silly, with it on the show, they didn't show nudity necessarily, but they showed complete nudity with blur just on like right over the pussy and blur right on the nipples. That's it. So they were essentially naked on television and they were to but they were doing a lot of two like i don't know it's exactly to the one is to like do a full nude shoot in the things like it's they seem all confused by the

concept yeah that's why i thought it was articles these are what i was doing an article that they were gonna start they were gonna blog and have a podcast yeah i thought everyone watches this goes to the articles. Yeah, they didn't have to at that point He was so old they weren't banging half no they were oh they were banging have they were back Listen, oh, I don't know about those girls. They were absolutely a centerfold. They were all the girls and doorways girlfriends But the who wants to be a centerfold was a reality show contest. I don't think those girls were big But they all they all go back listen,, you got to work your way. Work it. Work gets dicey. You can't just bang half. You got to earn that. I think work gets

dicey in that world of shit. Well, I'm saying generally is like, it was I could see it. Look, they're going there and they want to be naked and meet celebrities and walk around topless in the pool and do all, they're fine with that. He, as an expectation, seems like without asking to just be like, well, invite them up to the room and then they come into a room where there's already eight people fucking

and doing whatever. And then I get their thing where they're like, I didn't really know what to do at that point because I was like, expected to be there. If I leave what I get something. So I, okay, right,

where you just said, I mean, I think you have to, there's a piece of shit problem. I know I was that. Well, I expected to be there if I'd leave when I get something. So I, okay, right where you just say it. I mean, I think you have to, there's a piece of shit problem. I know I'm with that. Well, I expected to do it. Like, I can't think of a single thing where if I'm not prepared to do it. And when I was young, my sister the same way, that we never would have been in a thing where like, oh, my body is worth less than my job.

Penis butter leave, dude. I forgot, you're right. That's when I first took a stand. Can you tell Bobby that? Can you tell Bobby that story please? It's my fate. I told a lot. About when I...

This story's great. So when I was... I lived in Tom's River, when I was... I don't want to say fourth grade or third grade. And my two friends that live in the coldest sack were a great younger than me and their names are Josh and I don't know. I used to know. I don't want to say their name.

Josh and Dave, I guess. And anyway, they, so I didn't celebrate Christmas as a kid, right? Yeah. So these were like friends. It was in a cult. Yeah. It was a curcult. I mean, yeah. That must have been fun.

It was fun. I mean, my butthole is an all dark. And I'm thinking, shakin' some club. You know what, it is and we sort of are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So these two got kids, they were like, they were the Jewish kids on my

block that had a good Hanukkah, like they had some money coming in, you know, I, everybody had like a Vietnamese sister, they're like 80s. What the fuck is that? Yeah, because there were people to adopt Vietnamese kids a lot during the 80s. Jacob, you were in jail in the 80s. I was, Jacob. Jacob, are you dying right now? What's happening with you?

Jacob Jacob, why do you like yeah? What are we trying to sneak you back to your planet like you take? Fucking freezing right now the blower is right over me I lived over he's four different people since the show started Okay, so so this kid Josh Was like pretty I would kind of spoil I would say like because you know, Tuanaka you have 12 nights I didn't read or eight nights. Did you know? Yeah, but you not know that of all the things you know Of that religion you know, Hanukkah's eight nights. Yeah, you literally one of the smartest guys I know.

It's like 12 nights of Hanukkah. I know, if you know, if I were smarter, I would learn more about the Jewish people. I really, it's really held you back. It's 12 days of Christmas you mixed it up. My age, I just 12 days of Christmas. It's 12 days of Christmas. Whatever, whatever you've, you've got to be the next time. Oh, sorry, our God didn't come down in a spaceship and a Cadillac

I think he did if you look into it So he just got good presents, okay? You know something annoyed they have good stuff from that Adam Ron used to get really good presents in my neighborhood Yeah, and Jewish kid also, but I was also a Jewish kid just a broke one I was right, you gotta find original, okay I was Boston, I didn't meet a Jewish person but I was also a Jewish kid just a broke one. I was right you got to find original Okay, so Boston I didn't meet a Jewish person to those 22 And all the rumors were true Yeah, we had that sleep he man slime pit where you pour

Yeah, I remember that gizmo on your action figures I had a lot of toys in a jizm them. Did we have Ghostbusters head gism? There's a lot of like giz related toys for kids and I loved every single one of them. I don't think they were filming. I would never be happier than just some sort of a gobb of shit like falling down one of the faces of my guys. I don't know why.

We knew he hated. Oh. That's why I hated. It was a torture chamber that he man slimed pit and it was not clear what this lime does But you could see it was dorker Anyway, we're in their his room one day playing me and Josh and I don't know Beaver I don't know what his beaver Josh and beaver Josh beaver. Yeah, and

So I don't know he had all these toys with and and Josh goes, Hey, we're gonna play a new game guys and he goes in his closet and close the door. So I'm just out here. And uh, he comes out, he's like banging around and he comes out in like a suit. It's like a little bit too big for him. I thought it was his dad was a cop or so. Yeah, it was a hand me down suit. His dad was a detective and he gave him an old police badge So it comes out with a suit. That's too big. You know like the talking heads guy video Yeah, and a badge and he goes are gonna play police You be for get on bad. I got you butt for drugs

I'm a guy like for we all all, well, I make fro's like, what? And he goes, I don't want to do that. He goes, you have to, it's my house. This kid was the half of his time. Who does that work on, but I hate year olds. And a bunch of girls audition to be centrival. And a girl in her 20s. But he doesn't like to be people at fault for that.

But he actually, you have to, it's my house. What he puts, gotta check your butt for drugs. What? But he pulled the kilo out of the kids asshole. And he made a neighborhood safe. No, that's copaganda, you know what I'm saying? Oh, sorry, I can't. Let's cop propaganda.

I thought Beaver was a big drug guy. I'll tell you, he searched thoroughly and found nothing as well, I actually happened. He did, okay. I don't know what he did, but I didn't look. Cause I was like, all right, I'm not doing this, but I'd like this kids toys. They were here younger than me.

They didn't check your, they didn't do it. Did they, they first did whatever he's gonna do to Bradley, check his ass off. To, yeah, to LeBom. I'm like, I just hear him squealing. He had like a real squealy kind of. When you tell it to me, you go, cause it was much fresher, I guess,

you were like 20 years ago, but you were like, I just remember the lines you were like, now, I don't know if you found drugs up, beepers asked, but it wasn't for lack of sure. But I heard it wasn't for lack of trying. I know. Bobby interrupted to say the wrong information. He just put out this information

about what happened with that guy, kids ass. Wow. There's no drugs in his ass. Are you sure? I have to fact check you right now. No. He just put out this information about what happened with that guy kids as well. There's no drugs in his ass I Sure, I have to fact check you right now Yeah, but his father's watch he's still his dad's watch Well, so they get done whenever so the one kid beaver's got his pants on On the bed like I don't want to look up and he goes oh, I'm current now jerk

I'm not doing that and he goes goes, yeah, you got to. I'm like, no, just come on, beaver did it. And I'm like, yeah, I did it. I did it. I got out with a fucking gaper, just laying on the bed, looking at you still stomach down. And he goes, I did it. No, he was sitting up.

I was all, but I remember. It's sense for beaver, because he just realized, oh, you can have self-esteem. Yeah, you can say no to him. You can say no? He He was giving me a really dirty look, but he had a badge my mom told me to respect the badge Honestly that has something to do with it. He thought that badge was a license to check up At a very young age, which is very strange. Yeah, oh while they were doing it I forgot while they were doing this he's a doctor Vietnamese sister was looking through crack in the door. Not like, you know, not like excitedly, just caught him. And I look up and see her and I see this Vietnamese online the door and disappear.

Just respect unto hosts. That is, actually works on massage, Polar and Tom. massage, Polly and Tom. Well, so then they started going, okay, they're like bargaining with me now. Because, you know, if my, if my cult is Jay called it, let me tell you one good thing about this cult, don't be know, we're supposed to touch my butt. I can't even say they've had scandals. But my mom, every religion has some good teachings. Yeah, my mom was very vocal to us about people.

Is that one of your commandments? Now not touch other wise assholes. Yeah, yeah. The exit only to say it. Say it to you, huh? So we go, all right, well, then show us your penis. I'm like, no, and I was show us your butt. I'm like, I'm not, I'm gonna give us, yeah.

Or then you can leave. I'm like, come on, man. Like, I think they was Pete yeah, or then you can leave I'm like come on man like He's the penis but or leave and it both saying that at me I miss but a leave Like yeah, it's like the goonies penis but her leave and I'm like I mean it's not her leave Yes, so that's but her leave so we should go to him now So we should go to him now

Kersho should be I mean hey, we both if you want I was a dumb kid. I didn't understand how stuff works if you're wondering why Jacob's looks so reserved We checked his butt for drugs earlier. That's why it looks like a victim over there in that chair We took him and kept them so he's not a lot of levels. He has no pants on under that blanket It's like the end of Requiem for a dream. Anyway, I got I almost I felt like I was gonna cry from having to leave These two sex preverts Yeah, they ask you to go is it worth them looking at my butt? No, I was like I can't because you know Anyway, so I I could leave. Anyway, that

girl told on the adopted chick, told on Josh. So I was walking his mom come steaming up the stairs. Like, don't even look at me. I just want to like, oh, I heard her like smacking the shit out of them for like a block. Oh, for being silly. Yeah, for forcing around too much. I'm just gonna round. Is that what you call it? I quit forcing around. Imagine walking in, seeing your son with a badge, investigating an asshole of another

child in the neighborhood. Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriesxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go on a little, little, little.

I stepped on your crackle, crackle, crackle, I stink. I'm sick. Crackle Ice Stick.