The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Porn Nominees (feat. Robert Kelly)

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Jay prepares for the Porn Awards by looking at the nominees with Bobby Kelly. ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 On Big J. Ocarson, I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to full 2-hour long episodes of the Bond Fire? 2 hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. The boys are in fact back in town men men are around in town.
Starting point is 00:00:45 It's a guys. It's a man pile. The bonfire faction talk series XM 103. I'm Big Jokers and that's Dan Soder sitting in with his whole show. Everybody you know him and love him. He is a new special that right now called killbox on luick.com.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Digging this little fresh breath. V. V. V. Hilarious. Robert Kelly joins us breath. Ving. Uh, V. V. Hilarious. Robert Kelly joins us, everybody. Hey, boys. Hello.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Hello, come on in here with your savage shirt smelling all sexy. Yeah, this is my, uh, this is my, my, my, I can wear hoodie, sweat-chirty things now. I love this. Very excited. Yeah, dude. Whole new fashion sense. Whole new fashion sense. I got the, uh got the elastic waistband.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Woohoo! Pop it out. And not for necessity because it's stylish. The stylish. I get my elastic ankles. Yeah. Yeah. Damn.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Get up to it. Pull over hoodie. I wear the hoodies with the pocket on the front now. Did you always keep, let me ask this, did you always keep thin ankles through your whole heaviest weight? Because my luck, my luck is I have thin ankles. I thought you were gonna ask me if I always kept cookies
Starting point is 00:01:49 under my pillow. But yeah, stance would be 100%. The emergency cookies were in several places. Under the pillow in the glove box. Skinny ankles have saved my ass. I would think that that would actually be more of a dangerous thing. Skinny ankles, big body.
Starting point is 00:02:05 You could hide body problems with clothes. And you have your ankles come out of your go. This guy's point not that big. Yeah. Look at those ankles. It's like a, like a little ocular trick. Yeah, my ankles were bad because you could actually like push your thumb into it and the imprint would stay.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Like an old lady's vagina. Like it would just, just a old lady's vagina. Just a sodium heart attack shin. That said, I have for some reason lately looked up gulf gangbangs. Grandmothers getting gangbangs. Well, that's fun. It's weird. I think they call that a stew. It's a lot of. Oh, yeah, for sure. I just I'm fast the noises make me laugh Dear dear yeah, there's much more like like timber in their void They don't you boys look hungry heavens to Murgatory Oh, it's in there. Oh, it's in that big time
Starting point is 00:03:04 Oh, it's in there. Oh, it's in there, big time. Oh, you make my vagina randy. Oh, I have a bone to pick with society right now. Get a J, put on your beret, get nuts. At a time where the world is really being exposed to a lot of anti-Semitism through the acts of Kanye West, the anti-Semitism conversation keeps coming up. And one thing, if we could all say, as a Jew myself, that I'm very proud of that the Jews have accomplished in the world of holiday treats is the very pretty racist, but always think chocolate money. Love it. Love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Honika Gelt, it's called. I love my heave chocolate so much that every year I ask Anna for it. Yeah, it's high quality chocolate and brought to you by the Jews. But they can't just allow the Jews to have a thing in my deli last night. I purchase holiday cash, they call it. It's capitalism, baby. Santa Claus, real big on it, and same thing, chocolate coins. Sorry that there's a Christian currency in Christmas now. No, that's fucking shitty.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Looks like your chocolate banks won't hold up. That's bullshit. Well, I mean, you guys really latched on to our party. No, and then there's no Hanukkah tree. That's our birthday party. Yeah, Hanukkah didn't even exist until 1958. I don't know if you know that. Came out like air conditioning.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And those coins really came from pirates. Yeah. That's bullion. Yeah, that was a pirate. And someone that is a descendant of the great Captain Nobeard. I gotta tell ya, I don't know history enough to argue you a lot, Bobby, but I'm gonna say that I don't think the Maccabees were using a lamp oil that burned for eight days in
Starting point is 00:04:59 a cave in 1958. Buddy, it was 1958. Hanaga came along, I'm telling ya. The whole thing with the lampening back with the Egypt dude and the Locus dude, that was a different story. Oh, dude, I would love if Bobby is absolutely correct on this, his street religion. It was like Boston street religion, he goes,
Starting point is 00:05:19 you getting the story wrong, dude. Looking up, dude. Jesus was actually a little bit of a bad boy, dude. Now, chocolate money is a huge thing. 164 up. Jesus was actually a little bit of a bad boy. Did now chocolate money is a joy. 64 BC. Yeah. Yeah close. 1964. It happened. Yeah. It happened in 164. Chocolate money is Jewish. You didn't get gifts. I mean, gifts was in 1952. You guys sell it. You lit a candle. You guys started getting you. I'm telling you, gifts came recently.
Starting point is 00:05:46 It sounds like you got... I'm not gonna argue that. I bet it's not in 1952. Yeah, but Bobby, it sounds like you watched one documentary on YouTube about this and then you're... Something happened in 1952. I got him. I gotta use this sometimes, but it's coming out wrong.
Starting point is 00:06:01 I bet the gift thing is definitely a keep up with the algorithm. You guys were letting candles and having some food and saying, you guys were reading backwards. You guys were taking in the holiday as an actual holiday and then we were like, what if we put a bunch of toys? Yeah, we made up a dude. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Yeah, we had reindeer, we were having fun. We were partying like Christians do. Yeah. And you guys were like, you did it up. Yeah, we had reindeer. We were having fun. We were partying like Christians do. Yeah. And you guys like, you did up. Yeah, you guys like this sucks. Made it all somber with any presence. So dangerous with the lights all over your house. I didn't go to go burst into flames. You let us change it through the chimney. Oh, I had to move to New York to see real Jews that are like the ones that people talk about in an angry way. Cause I didn't grow up that way at all.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Like, like Hanukkah, why Hanukkah was sort of like, again, we weren't like a rich family. Sure. So Hanukkah, just like Christmas was like a thin amount of gifts. Yeah. You know, I mean, it was never that much. Did you do more?
Starting point is 00:07:00 But I bet Hanukkah in a rich Jewish household must be the, oh my God, because those gifts just Rolexes on They get better and better and better they get better each day right? Is that the idea Jacob because better each day? We never got gifts Never it's not a big religion. It's just that it was it's not a big holiday It was just yeah because it was next to Christmas. Yeah, they The Jewish community are doing well.
Starting point is 00:07:25 The Jacob your parents just said that's a bullshit tradition. They made up in 1952 and didn't do it. Yeah Yeah, he's oh the book like they are from the old country said I like we're not this isn't a gift thing. I mean Talk about chicken. That's a more TV without cable. That's an or Christmas Christmas is really technically Jesus's birthday. Yeah, we shouldn't be getting gifts I know we should be giving gifts to JC. Yeah, well guess what JC ain't around right now And I need some socks and a new sweatshirts Yeah, the Jewish kids I knew growing up had Hanukkah's that you're like, oh, you're trying to flex on all of us bike one day. Yeah, the game system in the next day.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I said yes. I couldn't imagine. I remember a bar. It's none of my friends even though my Jewish friends even lived in houses like this. The I think like, I pardon me. Really? What about your parmits like your bar mitzvah were you handed envelopes of cash like my friend Adam or your parents say it's bullshit too. I mean I had one but it wasn't like the modern ones where they'd like an event where run DMC and aros myth is singing. Yeah. Yeah. We love you Joey. Oh yeah. That stuff too. You get me Beyonce's playing at a bar mitzvah. I love it because some guy ran Goldman Sachs.
Starting point is 00:08:45 And he's like, I'll give you $2 million for 15 minutes. And she's like, OK, I'm still a performer. So weird. You got to have Cardi B at a kid's thing. So she can grind snatch all over everything. You ever see that private party video? Yeah, do you bring that up? That private party Cardi B video?
Starting point is 00:08:58 Cardi B's paid like a million dollars to do a private thing. And it's just her dry, humping her boyfriend. She just goes back to stripping days. Yeah, that's the good thing. The video actually on Whirls, I believe, says Cardi B reverts back to her stripping days. That's like me doing my piss the pants monster joke
Starting point is 00:09:12 in a jam. Yeah, but you'll be like, you'll be like, you'll be scared, Joe. But if someone came in and was like, I'll give you a million dollars, you're like, piss pants monster, it is. 100%. The joke Patrice used to ride you
Starting point is 00:09:22 about all the time, remember? Tim was just standing, he goes, mush Millions! Oh, shit. 100% the joke Patrice used to ride you about all the time. I remember some just saying he goes Marshmillio These that was the baby talk Marshmillio Do you have that Christine? Cardi B private party. I'm really good looking things up What's your number then you just go full. You do your comic view closer.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Damn, dude. That's got to exist somewhere in my comic view. What is it? His closer. Be it his comic view. Were you used to strip down to the year 2001 theme? 2001 space, honestly, theme. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. It was pretty awful.
Starting point is 00:10:01 You know what's funny? I was a stress factor this last weekend. Fun shows. A guy who used to hang out, he was the door guy for the Laf house, the club I started at. Fruit of Islam guy named Brother Carlton. I saw him, he came to one of the shows, just randomly. I didn't see that guy in 20 years.
Starting point is 00:10:19 That's awesome. Pretty wild. Yeah, it was so cool. But I forget the point I was making on that. The started a chocolate, not being fucking a Christian thing. I think all chocolate is Christian. Yeah. Yeah, Jewish people-
Starting point is 00:10:34 People didn't claim to that. Dude, chocolate is Christian. It's literally from Catholics in Jesus. It's already being part of the people in the Bible. Jesus made up chocolate. What the fuck? She looks like one of the aliens from Mars attacks you know in the in the red dress At least like a private party
Starting point is 00:10:52 Because every have party be coming by to spread snatch for you guys Don't forget to try my sister's dip and here is recording artist's party be It's not art bees, it's art basil. That's what this is. Okay. Oh my god. Whatever it is, though, I bet if you put a microphone between your legs, you do this a lot.
Starting point is 00:11:15 And then one. Hi. Just the air come. Just the thought of disappointing her during sex. Where she goes, oh, you go give it to me? You're like. I'm sure gonna try there's too much there's too much going on And I lost it. You think she's hard to please 100% and it'll eat at a lead bankers event private event for 400 people And for only 35 minutes. So what a million bucks? Good for her ice those her nipples are thoseipples or those fake nipples? No, just fake nipples and a fake bush on her face.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Are they made a chocolate? That'd be fun. That'd be fun, a little chocolate nipple. What'd that be? Yeah. What do you think about it? You like Cardi B, you think she's hot? I don't like the big butt like that because I feel like there's cucker in it and it mushes
Starting point is 00:12:00 with ass sweat and then it smells really bad at the end of the day. Probably. I like a nice small bum. I like a bum of a 14 year old Asian boy. You like a clean smooth bum. I like a nice shovel ass. But you don't see that and get, I get it. I get it.
Starting point is 00:12:16 I get it, but it's too much. It's too, like, looking. No, you're not wrong. It would intimidate the shit at me, but I'm saying, but I like to see it. Like, she looks like, I get it. I get the look. You don't get it, Black Lou? I know how hot my ass gets in the summer.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Imagine. No, I bet she rips. I bet she rips some fierce dudes. First of all, you never heard the video of her just dropping a shit while she's talking, because people were complaining she wouldn't do a show. And she goes, my stomach all messed it up. And she's like, oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:12:44 You never saw that? No, but the four. Oh, please bring up. To get the fart out of those cheeks has got to take an incredible amount of asshole strength. The ripple effect. The ripple effects must hit her thighs. Her thighs probably roll.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Boom, boom, boom, boom. The matrix. Yes, let me see the matrix like whack on everything. It's the fucking Christopher Nolan music when the, the outside of the building. Yeah I should say to caution six nine. Yeah I'm gonna fix it What shit talking about stuff
Starting point is 00:13:36 She is so that sounds like you know when they have the big truck tires and they put lighter fluid and then they light it Like that it just fills up with air. I was surprised to shoot through the porcelain. Man, damn, that was like a superman third. I told you all is I shit it did. Shit. But I bet sitting on that butt's very comfortable on the toilet. I think you could poop forever. I will say that I do feel like she just not have a problem on a long flight.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Like sitting down like my big car. I'd be moving because like my ass bones eventually just get through yeah, it's been happening to me now that I don't have my my cushion anymore Yeah, a little fat little Irish Turkish yeah, that I like I feel the bone in my butt I got to move it around a little bit Dan's got a nice roundie on I got I got farmers, but I'm all wide not depth You got a little something though. You got something. Let me see. I got a terrible. I only saw Dan from behind Pull the pants up, dude. You got a nice you got a nice caca. Yeah, dude. You got a man you got a man caca You got a cowboy ass right? Some say yeah dude it better looks good when he fucks from the side. Oh you get
Starting point is 00:14:41 I make this noise in the side. Oh, you get, how can I make this noise? Oh, oh, fuck. Oh, oh, oh, fuck. Hey, you got a Kevin Costner ass. This land isn't ours, but we're not fuck on it. You're, uh, oh, oh, oh. Bobby, you probably like Jacob's ass.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Me, I'm a DJ lose ass guy all day long. I don't know. I think Jacob would have a nice little tight European booty. He does. Yeah. He's got a firm little ass to he looks it out. What did DJ Lewis get like a Dutch butt? Yes. Thank you. I am Dutch. Okay. That's for noticing. Yeah. Real hard to move ass. Yeah. Oh no. DJ Lewis don't be surprised. Follow him in the hallway. Guys got a wagon. Yeah. Oh my God. You want to put a drink on it. Yeah, it's nice
Starting point is 00:15:26 But I bet it's nice and white, but it gets blotchy when it gets nervous. They didn't say it looks good naked I'm telling you the things got a shape though You just orange an orange looks gross when you peel it Sometimes you got to keep it in the fucking skin it come hits it. It just turns it Turns red immediately. Yeah, it turns into allergy red. Oh yeah, if Louis, if Louis has a woman ever slapped your ass and laughed at how long the red spot stayed on your spot. She's a body glove, Lou. Pam, you're saying supposed to do that. Pink to see. No woman has ever touched my ass not as a joke. Only as a joke they've grabbed it.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Yes. What do they say? Who hurt you? Yeah. Nobody's ever been like, oh, this is great. What have they said? Nothing, like my girl slap it just like, you know. She was looking at this cute little, this cool little. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, hi, hi. He's so lumpy. Hi, Bob. Yo, you got a ghost, bum, bum. Yeah. A bum, bum. Yeah. Bob, Bob. You're seeing it so blunt, cool.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Yeah. Blanca. Yeah. Your Bob, Bob needs a freckle. Yeah. By the way, yeah. I bet your assholes pink, though. Pink, the pinkest pink.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Oh, like a fucking, like a newborn rabbit's eye. Like a fucking Puma's tongue. Yeah. So I got like four hairs around it that have been there since birth. Yeah. Oh, yeah, light hair. Yeah, very light hair. Whisp. There's only got like four hairs around it that have been there since birth. Yeah, oh yeah, light hair. Yeah, very light hair. Whisp.
Starting point is 00:16:49 It's like eyebrow hair. I have to assume my asshole's not that hairy because of my aggressive wiper. Mine's just a mess. Really? Yeah, there's no need to go there. Let's not open that up. I would get rid of that already.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I can't. There you go. Yeah, you can't rid of my asshole. I can't get rid of my asshole. You can get rid of your asshole hair?. I can't. There you go. Yeah, you can't rid of my asshole. I can't get rid of my asshole. You can't. You can't. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole.
Starting point is 00:17:10 You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole.
Starting point is 00:17:18 You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my asshole. You can't get rid of my assholenea machine first then I'll wax my ass. Oh One has nothing to do with the other it does they're both holes. You're gonna
Starting point is 00:17:33 You'll get what a whole service at the time. I only do one. Did you know you can't shut down both lanes? You got your ENT handles. Yeah, can't shut down both lanes of traffic. I and okay We're we're working on the sleep thing first. Are you getting a sleep app? Yeah, wow. Getting the fucking nose piece. You're gonna whack us. You're gonna know this one? Really? I want to probably take it off the first night and never sleep with it. I have one.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Does it work? Yeah. Do you use it though? Oh no. Yeah, that's what I think, that's what's gonna happen to me. I'm just gonna never use it. But when you use it, you dream,
Starting point is 00:18:01 like you've never dreamed before. Are you dream like a baby? Could you sleep? And then you wake up, rest it. Do you wake up? Like, like, like you've never dreamed before. Oh, you dream like a baby. Could you sleep? And then you wake up, rest it. Do you wake up, like, like, like, oh my god, this is, I think I should get my pants. I just tried to, I might have pooped. It's you, I hope you pooped.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Kinda, I don't think I did. I might have to. I mean, at my turn, I'm fucking 19, at the hour. Dude, you, I didn't, I thought it was. Um, yeah, did you, you wake up, the way you should wake up. Cause I don't sleep right now. Dude, when you wake up the way you should wake up? Cause I don't sleep right now.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Dude, when you sleep, you put the sleep app in the mask on for a couple minutes or like, oh God, and then all of a sudden you're out, and then you're gone. And then you wake up and it's the new day. But no, you're actually flying. You could fly, you go from the air and you'll see it with the fish and come back out again.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Dream Dan's gonna rule. And then you wake up the next day and you're a child. It's the way you should feel. And I'm not gonna be all mean to my dog. No, you know, everyone says, shh, don't fucking touch me. Everyone says this and yet I don't know anyone who's got one that consistently used a Dante near and told me, change his life. Salvo, cano, game change, he said. When you wake up, it's like the end of the Wizard of Oz when everybody's around you, and they're just happy
Starting point is 00:19:10 you're home. And you just slide through the night. Yeah, they're all, yeah, you'll wake up. We tell them all they were there. Yeah, they were there. You were there too. Did I wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake? Like I got to solve a murder every night.
Starting point is 00:19:22 I wake up a lot during the night. This week I've done pretty good. Justin gave me Lunesta that put me down for the count. And then I took Melaton in the next couple nights and it worked really good last night. I went to sleep on my own. Slip good, woke up about nine. Christine's been waking up super early,
Starting point is 00:19:37 fauna sleep early, waking up super early. Okay, early Burgess warm. And I woke up at about nine o'clock. Turns out it was, but I could tell it was early-ish and I was like, and in life, my belief would be here that, Christine's asleep next to me,
Starting point is 00:19:57 and I just, my stomach was like, woke up for a second, and I was like, man, my stomach hurts, and just tilted ass up and just beefed hard. And as soon as it was done, I went, oh no, Christine's probably awake. And just I popped up. It was such a fast like pop up from my pillow. And Christine was just looking at me with a frown. How bad was it in the left? I laughed.
Starting point is 00:20:17 When you heard him rip it, were you like, I got to get out of here. I told her it was going to be a problem. I go, that's going be I'm gonna smell I don't think you were here What was it? What what food did you have? Where's that a mixture of it left over? Oh No, but it was like sandwiches sandwich stuff sandwiches. Yeah, really so there was some hot peppers, which I think got me I think my days of spicy foods are over. Yeah me too. I'm done. No, I can't I Tell you almost shit and you just keep watching I'm gonna tell you why I'm gonna say why I'm in a situation right now We have to I have to I have to poo I have to fart
Starting point is 00:20:57 But I think there's something there too, so it's kind of sneaking around it We got we'll go to commercial a little bit and just go I will not poop here. I wouldn't either. I will not poop here. You guys are babies. No because I don't if I had to poop here's a problem. Here's a problem. Here's a problem. Grow the fuck up. That's here. Oh I'm sorry. John Dutton. Yeah. Listen. That's a cool name. I don't know who that is. That sounds cool. Yellow stuff. You're yellow stone. You're yellow. I've never watched yellow stone but that is a cool name. John Dutton. John Dutton. How about the coolest name on the show, Rip? No.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Rip? Yeah, pass. Hard class. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, you just surf or get out of here. All right, check it out. Yo, go get Rip. No.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Wow. Now, Rip's in your mind. John Dutton. I apologize. Rip is R-I-P, Rest in Peace, my name. John Dutton has Dungery jackets. Oh my god. Rip and asshole.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Rip has the Dungery jacket. No, I know, but his name's Rip. Rip. Rip means Rip and Arm his name's rip rip rip Rip means rip it on and rip a leg. That sounds like Yellowstone broke back Yellowstone You guys are wrong. It's Rip Yellowstone is it's fucking it's dad TV. It's not dad TV. Everyone says it's great It's the best it's for dad Yellowstone. You love it. I'm taking that from a guy who's fucking holding his beard as he tells me like you're pontificating My stepfather told me today Yeah, my stepfather told me I learned it stuff learned it
Starting point is 00:22:12 I'll probably watch you else know I'll probably definitely get into it. Of course. It was great my step pops at Wednesday is really good My step pops a weird. I got it. It's good. Yeah, Wednesday is good and Everett is gonna watch it, she's legal. Why is she hot? Don't do that. Took me two episodes. I had to go look it up, because I'm like, I am fucking in factuated with her mouth.
Starting point is 00:22:34 And I don't want it. Yeah, it's Bobby. That sentence was fine until mouth. Now, don't listen to Dan. Yeah, Bobby is the safe space. You're fine. I think it was a J.I. You started thinking about her mouth
Starting point is 00:22:44 and you wanted to make sure she was these sounds that sounds predatory. I just met I Carly. I looked at her mouth a lot. That's crazy. Look at this girl mouth. She's legal. She's 20. Oh, she's basically asking for a listen to that. I mean, look at it. This is see if they have a box. See if they have the shot of her as Wednesday. That's where she's got you guys just want there I'm gonna throw up a little word in there called a Fappening also you just want their adrenal chrome
Starting point is 00:23:13 Everyone knows that she probably should up in some fappening. She think. I know what a fappening is Let's a look at look at look at look. Wow. I mean she's beautiful and she's legal. She's 20. I mean, I would never do anything with her Like she would never have it. Well, let me see this Bobby. Is the show good or is her mouth great? It's both The show is also good the show's good. It's you know, it's good show. It's not bad I love dad family and Adam's family values. So it's like I love the whole story. This is darker than that Yeah, it is I watched a few episodes and I wasn't enjoying it. It didn't already Christine Yeah, just a few. Oh, that's cool. I won't watch it with you at all either damn You know, I don't retain anything we can watch it again. That's insane to say things like that I'll watch it again. I would never
Starting point is 00:23:57 If I'm like I watched the first three episodes you watch those and then we'll start together. I'm not rewatching them and then we'll start together. I'm not rewatching them. Inevitably gonna react. And be like, oh, this part's really good. And then you're like, don't do that. No, she's not like that. She'll be tick-tocking while I watch. Oh, this is really good.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Oh yeah, and then they go, oh, oh, okay, and you go, where you going? I already seen it, you can watch, we, we're not watching that, so build it up in the, yeah. Yeah, now you leave and go make a sandwich. Now catch up and then you move forward. Yeah, no. Fuck that shit, I'm watching it myself while I'm gone.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Wednesday on Netflix now. Broom. But you can watch it whenever you want, not just Wednesday. Not just Wednesday. Did you watch the thing? Did you, I asked you, did you watch the thing of the girl where the guy that was calling? No, but there's another documentary
Starting point is 00:24:40 that we've been looking at in real time, which is the Kai documentary, Christine I DM the trailer to the bonfire on Twitter. Yeah, this guy was a biggie. We, there was a homeless guy that stopped a murder or he killed a guy that had a woman kidnapped. There's an infamous clip online that we founded this guy. Yeah, a really viral video.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Yeah, it's got name Kai and he was like like I took the hatchet and then I was like smash smash So mash and that smash so man, and he's like that dude was out Yeah, and then he like went to jail for killing a guy and then there's a documentary coming out on Netflix about him Just a weird dude was the guy that he killed? It's like an old gay dude. I think that's the question. I think that's the question. Was he, I mean, the progonna get into that.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Yeah. I mean, just documenting. That guy was cooked out, man. Yeah. That's him. That's Kai. Kai. That's him.
Starting point is 00:25:39 That's him. It's a heroic, beautiful person to want it for murder. An absolute bizarre scene here in West Fresno with a man plows his car into a PG&E worker, pinning him against his truck. Two women are trying to help him. He runs up and he grabs one of them, man. So I fucking ran up behind him with a hatchet.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Smash, smash, smash. Smash. Smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash! Oh, no! Yeah, we talked about him a lot. He was a local hero for a few minutes. Yeah, he loves him. How did it make you feel though being this viral sensation?
Starting point is 00:26:18 I'm not a virus. I'm a sensation. I'm Kai. Most people that are heroes are not homeless people. There was something funny about him and Kanna cute and sweet and innocent He has such an endearing quality. There's so much charisma I want to say no matter what you done you deserve respect even if you make mistakes your worth while If you're going to glorify someone you better know who you glorify If you're going to glorify someone you better know who you glorify.
Starting point is 00:26:46 And I mean, what a haunting your whole life returns. What a haunting line to hear. We're just an old woman going, if you can't, it kissed the devil. He had better be wearing flameproof lips there. She's saying something that's like haunted. If you peek into the darkness, don't be surprised what you might find. Sometimes cold noodles can burn your mouth. You'll miss... Excuse me? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I don't know. You're too lost or shit. I'm peeing. Right, right. I told you, I had explosive diarrhea. You go fishing for sharks and sometimes you end up kissing your brother. Don't be surprised if you find the lobster. So I'm just suck on a pepper and your nipples fall right off.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Bobby, do you was chocolate? Yes, please, muzzle tough. I should about shalom. Dude, what's up, dude? Let me do some chocolate. Yes, please. Is it real? Is it pie?
Starting point is 00:27:42 Oh, look at you. A little more coming in for you, Dan. Jews. Jews, was chocolate, ready? A couple coming little more coming in for you Dan. Jews. Jewels chocolate. Ready? Couple coming in. Yeah. Can I have some more pirate treasure? Yes. There's more Jewish chocolate. Can I have more? Can everybody know that that Bobby calls people who are Jewish pirates? Just know that. Just know that. That's how he is. Anti-Semitic. That's even sure.
Starting point is 00:28:04 That's the man you've elected as your president. He's just throwing chocolate at Christine like a whore. And he goes, here's your shillings you whore. I don't know. That's what he brought my seas candy from home. Is that what this is? Yeah. It's Jewish guilt from seas.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Yeah. Can you go back Christine five seconds so we can see this lady threatening everyone again? I want to watch this. Why do homeless people have such a good bodies. They have such great bodies because they're walking a lot, but man I want a homeless body. No, you don't. Yeah, dude. I want to do chin-ups. I'm scaffolding so bad. Oh God. I look so cool. Oh I want you so bad walk around with it with an old milk jug of water. Oh, I want to split a salad with a dog. Yeah And go running with him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Ha, ha, ha. Worth wow. If you're going to glorify someone, you better know who you glorify. Kai, the Hatchet-Wooling Hitchhiker, he's been arrested for allegedly taking the life of a man in New Jersey. There was no forced entry, but under the computer
Starting point is 00:29:03 is a phone number with the name Lawrence Kai. Maybe just stop and think, could he be responsible for something like this? Part of me wondered what actually happened that day in Fresno. Was this him being the hero or not? Smash! He thinks somebody in a head would have had you three times.
Starting point is 00:29:22 But one side or nine is violent. Smash! When it comes to a certain situation of pressure, you either become a diamond or you get crushed. Right. So bad. The Hatchet wielding hitchhiker is the name of the document. It's a mouthful.
Starting point is 00:29:39 That's a lot. They should have ran that. That's a little high. Yeah, what? Okay. At that moment, I'm glad he was a hatchet wielding hitchhiker. Why? You know, because he's, he did save those people
Starting point is 00:29:52 from that loon. It's a great time to have like a killer. Associate path around, a harder gold. Yeah, that one moment. Yeah, and you're like, we weren't glad that weirdo was over here with the hatchet. The rest of the time, you're like, hey, can you get that weirdo with the hatchet? By the way, heck, I just saved your life and I, I, I swore to you 15 minutes into taking my
Starting point is 00:30:11 to dinner that night to thank him, you'd be like, okay, so. So thank you again, but I have to actually jam out. Feel free to take that home with you or wherever home is. Yeah. I think you live under the eye 10. So this has been really awesome. I do appreciate you saving my life back there. I can drop you off at the train tracks.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Do you feel you have to still be holding the hatchet? Yeah. Did you have to cut the meat with the hatchet? God, my keys. Oh my gosh. So mad. Well, Dan, you have to watch the one I told you of the guy who calls McDonald's and Wendy's places and would have the male managers basically strip search and finger
Starting point is 00:30:53 bang and slap and get their dick sucked by the family employees. We're sitting there with him. You don't want to watch the trailer. That's the story. It's a don't pick up the phone. But this guy we just call, he just loved doing it. He would call a McDonald's and say like, hey, someone, I have somebody on corporate on the phone here too.
Starting point is 00:31:11 I'm officer, whatever. And you, they said somebody stole something from somebody that was like a customer. And we take this very seriously. Now, we can come down there and take you downtown and search, or they can be done right there. And they strip search like these teenage girls and like make them open their pussies and cough
Starting point is 00:31:29 and do jumping jumps. This is their documentary. It's a pull up. It's just a Jay late night. It's just a category on porn hope. He goes naughty searches. No, it's too old. They do have that on, there is a thing
Starting point is 00:31:41 where they get caught stealing shit at like a pawn shop and they bring them in the back and they're like, you stall and they're like, I'm in the girls like, I'm sorry. I'll do whatever it takes. And then they're like, well, you could get out of it. Yeah, if you feel I'm fucking. Yeah. And but they do it in a real way.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Like they use like a shitty camera. They use the camera as the whole thing. The weight. Yeah. It's not real. No. It's not real. No, it's not real. But neither is stuck porn. What?
Starting point is 00:32:09 No, you're just talking. They're not stuck in the window. You're telling me that lady didn't get stuck in that child's place at door. No, the bad thing, you actually, when you go in, you can get out of a dry or a dry. 100% yes. Yes, yes. Without getting dick down first. Okay. Okay. Okay. Without the sweet yes, without getting dick down first. Yes, yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Okay. Without the sweet lube of getting fucked. Sure. Okay. All right. I didn't realize you got your doctor since I saw you last but I should know these things before I attend the Pono Awards. You know that Jay got nominated for an AVN?
Starting point is 00:32:40 For what? Best Gang best. That's the R show. I don't understand. That's the R show got nominated at the AVN's for Best Adult Podcast. Oh, okay. I don't understand. SDR should have nominated at the A.V.N.s for Best Adult Podcast. Oh, okay. You didn't do anything sexual. No, best gang thing.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Oh, what? Yeah. Stop touching your beard. It's freaking me out. I'm wise now. To the A.V.N. They can be feel insecure. The A.V.N.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I write all the things yesterday. All the things were going against the podcast. Yeah. The, which one calls are still so great. The categories of award. It's like best anal comedy and musical. Best cum shot. It's a major team.
Starting point is 00:33:16 These are major teams. Auschwitz team. And then they brought them all over here and made chocolate. 1952. That year? That year? Yeah, it's from the chocolate. I just remember that was 1952.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah, I was going through those things, because I was like, how long is this award show? Like, who's sitting there for like five hours? Probably. Yeah, probably. And a lot of dumb speeches. Oh, my God, the speeches are gonna be fucking horrible. I wanted to count how many likes.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Um, like, and this is like my family. Like what, we get to, the fact we just get to fuck. It's gonna be crazy. The fact we just get to fuck. It's gonna be crazy. It's gonna be a drunk. We're gonna be drunk and make it up there. And they're gonna go, I can't I always want this to
Starting point is 00:34:05 go. I guess it pays to have a gaping ass. I've always and oh my god, he's so many beautiful bitches that I want to fuck hopefully this year. Manuel Fraar, I sucked your dick. Thank you so much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera.
Starting point is 00:34:31 It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. It's not much for being so good to work with on camera. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people.
Starting point is 00:34:39 I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I'm wearing the name so many people. I go, Roth like, Jay, you do it all right. Jay's like, this means so much to her. Because no one's gonna have a good like, my grandmother raised me, and when she fell sick,
Starting point is 00:34:50 the only way I could make money to get her a new heart, and then they bring out the grandma, she comes out and I go, she goes, she's walking again, everyone, my, my, my, my, mom. Oh, take a walk for them. Most kids when they get molested, it's a bad thing. But not for me. He's, because it, it's not like it now I got the hardware.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Yeah, I got the hardware. Thanks for giving me the tools. To reach the next level. Is this female performer of the year from this year? Or do you know, no, it's just an acceptance speech for us. Well, let's see it. Let's just see what let's get Jay ready for the war. So you got to do like one for like best anal of the year or something.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Join Angel. We just talked there. Oh, and that's the guy that ate shit at Skankfest. He ate poop? No. He did a roast battle. So funny. You think that someone actually ate shit as well? That's exactly.
Starting point is 00:35:32 You go, oh, I didn't know they're doing the poop show again. He did a roast battle. Who is that Evan? Evan Stone against a morbidly obese female comic who dusted his ass. It was so funny. She was great. That was that Skankfest? Vegas, yeah. was so funny. She was great. That was that skank fest? Vegas, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Naked roast. Naked roast. Oh really? Yeah. Oh. I went in and I walked right back out. There was a girl with pimples on her ass that I just left.
Starting point is 00:35:56 That was probably her. I did. The best part was Shane. The one of them was popped. We've made fun of Lewis with this, but Shane Gillis had Nate Diaz came and hung out with Shane and showed up at the naked rose and then walked in. It was like, watch the fuck dude's the dog in on stage. You guys like, yeah, he's shit's gay.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And he left and we told Lewis that Nate Diaz nixed his festival's gay. So funny. Yeah, Shane does a perfect Nate Diaz and they were the hangout. Yeah, he's just like, I'm thinking. Did you finally get best 801? No, here. I don't know what that's gonna be. What's your speed? We're talking about it a little briefly yesterday. Well, you have to vote. Everybody out there.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Get out there and vote. It sucks for scenes that you have to make an account on avian to vote. If that's true, I apologize, but vote. Or if you're a hacker, pop me up some hackers. I do. I want an award. I want a best app. Yeah, I still have the app on my phone. It doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:36:55 It doesn't work anymore, but I want that with a hacker. God damn it. Really, that guy was a hacker? Yeah, well, one of them, yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm in running right now for my best comedy special. And I want to get a hacker to beat fucking Ari. Do Yeah, dude. Yeah, I want to I'm in running right now for my best comedy special And I want to get a hacker to beat fucking Ari. Do it. Do it. Oh, what? Comedy yeah, betting things. Oh, I know the year. Yeah, interbang. Yeah, under the year in tarot bang I never make the you know the when they put you on something. There's the photo the like the coolest always you know him and her and them
Starting point is 00:37:23 I'm never in it. Yeah, I've never You know I don't think I've ever know I won Crinchumers up and come or the year award. That's great. That's a go on. It's great. I got I got a cringey One yeah a cringey. Yeah cringey. It's the avian greatest acceptance speech. This is gonna be good Look at our mouth is already open sand and It's a secure, she's so hot. She used to do stern, and shit all the time. It's gonna be great.
Starting point is 00:37:49 I mean, I'm excited for you for that week, because you're just gonna be like overstimulated. I think you think I know porn more than I do. I think you know porn pretty well. You don't have porn. No, you know names. From my era, I don't know anybody from today. You've been interviewing porn stars on SDR show for like eight years.
Starting point is 00:38:07 So you know a lot of... No, well, Aisa Kira was used to be on Stern all the time. It was just like a big story. I mean, AJ, just take a compliment. I mean, just take it. I just, I watch porn plenty. I just watch very amateur porn. It's a part of the...
Starting point is 00:38:19 You're down the streets. You're only on the mix days. Yeah. But I do interview a bunch of them. Christine, right, correct about only in the mix days. Yeah. But I do interview a bunch, some Christine. Right, correct about that. Go play it. They said, don't show them on other kids.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Asia, Kira, wait in a different direction. Thank you to my f***er, putting up with all these f***ing and again. It is. It is. Oh my god. That's kind of awesome. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Damn right. But let's move on to Brooklyn Lee, winner of the Low Expectations Award. I feel like I'm dreaming right now. Just like MLK, Missy Amarty, in any case, there was a lot of fun. All right, this TMZ editing makes me want to throw up. Do you hate it?
Starting point is 00:38:59 What happened with you? That was a bunch of stars. Turns out this girl was molested in the wrong way. You're like, why did you do that at it? Wrong hold grandpa. Wow. Wow. Ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Ha. You go to him and you go, hey Keith, what's your problem? I'm a lonely editor. This is the only outlet I have. Keith, we're quick, what the fuck? What are you doing that for? I'll let you know his name. I do, yeah. I don't know. Keith, we're quick. What the fuck? What are you doing there for? I'll let you know his name. I don't know. Keith, the editor at TMZ.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I don't get into it. Hey, Dan! I'm not going to prepare a speech if I don't win. I could probably read it on here. When we come back. You should 100% prepare speech. And you should, yeah. And you should have people help you with it. And it should be a scroll. You should do that and you should have people help you with it. You should make it a roll It should you should do that
Starting point is 00:39:47 It should absolutely be emotional it should be emotional. Yeah fellow slots. I stand here before you there you go humbled Shout out Queens. I did it What's up girls? I shaved my pussy for this? No, that's a movie I won for you have to thank all the other people in your category. You know all winners. There's like 32 of them. You have to go through all of them. Yeah, usually thank them all.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Christine, bring up a award, Abyan award. We go through all the categories because there is so, I mean, you see it's like best ass blast. That's crazy. Hotest come shots, absolutely one of them. Yeah, well, it's also the good to see the names when it's like. Hot as come shots. Absolutely one of them. Yeah well it's also
Starting point is 00:40:25 to get to see the names when it's like best feature length thing. It's like fist my ass. You stupid cunt for. Four. Is this that best action thriller. That's great. All-girl-gonzo anthology. Best anal production. Best anal series or channel. Best anal sex scene. Best anthology production. Art direction. Oh, now we're getting a Dan world.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Best big bust production. Best big butt production. I mean, keep going, there's more. Best blowbang scene. Could you imagine winning that? Like, could you imagine losing it actually? Being nominated and going, it's more. Best blow bang scene. Could you imagine winning that? Like, could you imagine losing it actually? Being nominated and going, it's like, you didn't suck 10 dicks enough. My dad always used to say, say in the blow bang
Starting point is 00:41:13 category, you're either a winner or just a cum spunk. He's like, yeah, I got my dad shallow throat. That's comedy. Best sending photography is the one where the guy goes, like, no, but I'm actually actually I actually care about how it looks Do you like the only one that actually does good work? And he's like it looks great. They try your key lighting was fantastic They definitely try ball sack. Yeah, try to have that kind of thing response to it best comedy I like to see who past winners of best comedy are Best director comedic production best director dramatic production best director foreign production to see who past winners of Best Comedy are. Best Director, Comedic Production,
Starting point is 00:41:45 Best Director, Dramatic Production, Best Director, Foreign Production, AKA, that's the four skinny. That's what they call that one. Yeah, that's the female. Oh, when he gets to the trends, they have a fun way of putting it now, because they can't say best male star of the year,
Starting point is 00:42:00 and best female star of the year. They call it Thespian of the year. Whoo. Is gone? What's gone, zo? are the best female star of the year, they call it thespian of the year. Woo. Is gone. What's gone so it's reporting where you put yourself in the story. Well, it is in porn. It's like the it's like the smash like production,
Starting point is 00:42:17 you know, where it's like, hey, we're just going with these four girls, these sluts are going to go to a ski trip. What is the common point? I don't understand. That's what I wanted. What I mean, look up best comedy of the avian awards this year. I want to see Ginger Lynn did a porn where she was at a comedy club and her boy had to go do his set. It's got to be the comedy. And while he went and did a set, the other two comics had had their way with her. And then he was trying to get back in the room.
Starting point is 00:42:46 And he was like, Hey, honey, and she's like one second and they were finishing up. Yeah. Ginger Lynn, when we had her and, Christie Canyon on, they really said like the comedy store. It was just like a fuck suck shop with the porn stars and comics in the 80s. Wow. Did you ever hear that when you're on the East Coast?
Starting point is 00:43:02 I mean, you lived in LA for a little bit, but were there, like, stories where there's stories trickling East? No, they got so good in California. Did you regularly work the clubs up there all the time? I only were no, I told you I had to leave because I became a cook. Yeah, I wasn't going to clubs. I worked the Lafactory a little bit and I never worked the store. Never gonna.
Starting point is 00:43:23 I went in there one night killed and then that guy Tommy Tommy That was my last guy that he was like do man. We're all in the journey man Thanks for being on this journey with us man. We're gonna you know, man. You did great. I you know, it's awesome But you know, thanks for being here and being part of this man And I went hey dude did yes or no and he's like hey man Well, I'll get we're gonna get back to you. I was like, I buy I just walked away That's why I swear to you the same thing goes we got to get you up in another room And he goes and see I you vibe in the other rooms here, you know like I've been doing comedy for like
Starting point is 00:43:53 15 years that point you're like yeah, okay, I guess Didn't turn out he was a thief. Yeah, yeah, he was in bed. I think money or something Keep going best double double penetration sex scene. Well, let's see what's best comedy of A, B, N awards 2022. Or 2020. I'm on the nominees right now. I'm trying to get to it. I want to know.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I would say play this music during a porn. Yeah. Wouldn't that be a classic? It exists, for sure. Classical porn. You know, you'd have to make out during that music. Yeah. Do you like making out? Yeah. Like in a porn. Oh, I love it
Starting point is 00:44:28 When they kiss I'm like they like each other. Oh, it's like a connection that I look at it like it's like the predator handshake Like dude, I'm here with you. No, when they win them when you know those Rocco's the Freddy ones where they're gross No, no face yeah. Hold her face. Yeah. Yeah, kiss you like that. Yeah, that accent. Oh, you fool. The penis is inside you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:52 I like a nice make out. Do you think anybody's going to be getting frisky at the award show, Jason? Do you think you're going to see any? I hope so. Do you see the one where I want to watch the award you? I see the kiss the Transsexual transsexual Training can I say training best milk. Oh wait. Let's see some names here though. These are the best best milk movie or limited series
Starting point is 00:45:11 Ain't a loving milf's I got milk to Mothers and step-sons my step-moms a stripper rockos and sasable milf's squirting milf six that mom is stacked there it is Keep going down. Best mixed aged fantasy movie or limited series. Like lesbian step-dotters too. Yeah, let's bang the babysitter. Kitchen in Cougar 16. We gotta say like how they do it. They're just mother-daughter exchange club 62 girl friends films box 26 new biles pulse go down all the go to the other subject that's got funny stuff faster keep going there we go there there we go now the nominees for best niche movie or limited series first choked and soaked five, De La Donna, evil angel. Damn, dude.
Starting point is 00:46:07 What about this next one? I thought you were going to do that. Oh, you're going to do that. Cock my life and fuck my wife. Three, NSFW, pulse. Thick grannies, thirst for young cock, caroops, pulse. Fill me with your orgasm, 12. Pure passion, new sensation sensation square it for days to
Starting point is 00:46:28 Evil angel, right Nana Fox Best New sensation milk To the other the next subject You know that's funny cuz I wrote it's all the same ones. It's granny's Actually wrote it in a weekend. Best non-sexual performance. I just unlocked myself in a cabin and I knew where I wanted to go in the story
Starting point is 00:46:51 and I went there. Best oral series. Swallowed. Oh, no, the next one's great. Best oral sex scene. Alina has a messy mouth. BJ Raw. Alina Ali and Romero.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Mancini. How are you not gonna laugh when they're saying all this? I'm going left. Dave, do you have a left? That's just a girl with a burnt mouth. He'll be dream sunrise blow. Little Caprice dreams. Little Caprice and Marcelo Bravo.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Oral Queens, Riley Reed and Skin Diamond give spit-filled sloppy blow job. Jules Jordan video, Riley Reid, Skin Diamond and Winston Burbank. And of course, what about Jaime and Anna each gummy candy, swallow bay, that's Anna Claire Clouds. Jaime Marie and Tristan say, oh. Next subject, keep going. So this is gonna be great. You're gonna have so much fun at this.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Yeah, keep going. It's gonna be like summer camp. Cause these are, these are best solos to keep going. Best soundtrack, what's that? What's got best soundtrack? Hold on, is primary season two in there? It is. Yeah, that's your route before early.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Yeah, JNM Airlines, sweet salty, sweet sweet Sally Mae. Keep going down. Psychosexual. Keep going. Best supporting actors and actresses. Best taboo relations movies. Hmm, keep going. That's all the same thing.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Step cuties. It's all step everything. Yeah, step. Which keep going. That's all the same. Step cuties. It's all step everything. Yeah, which you can't you can't fly. You can't do real sun. Yeah, but they used to do that back in the 70s like taboo and shit. Yeah, you can't do that now. There you go. That's step by the way, the names are great. Jenna Gargles. Casey Kisses, Natalie Mars, Daisy Taylor. This is all the trans performers. cam damage. You think they're all hot? They have to be best three way sex scene look at Another person. Oh Natalie Mars. We know her oh
Starting point is 00:48:57 The best three way sex scene fuckhole by kink label Coco love lock and Oliver Flynn Hot girl summer scene three. Oh, best trans group sex scene. I bet some funny names. It's a trans sandwich. And I'm the meat scene three. What about take a ride on the trans train two, scene three, and also just succubus. Oh, shit. just succubus. Ah, shit. Haha.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Haha. And all the meat. Best Transmover limit series, porn crush, my T.S. Stepmom 3. His first train. They still get Stepmom in, even on the train? Yeah, you can't. You can't just do Mom. You go step.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Step. Just step. It just saves you. Yeah. Just saves you from hell it really I married your father. It doesn't mean we're related Step is like you think you've lost your wallet and then right when you need it you find it You go okay, well, it's it's okay mom mom mom, but then you go step and you're like okay I can watch this. Yeah, that's what step father would say into my back at night
Starting point is 00:50:04 Because we're not literally because if you say Joe Joe you're gentle if it's your mom you think of your mom yeah you can't help yeah when he goes mom you your mom goes what do you watch it you go look at this Bobby what are you watching look at us I can't go for my stepmom. Oh, Diane
Starting point is 00:50:24 Diane do you have a stepmom? Yeah. I don't have a stepmom. I have a stepmom. Find a stepmom. That'd be fucking. Who's the best new trans? Who's the best new trans? Cheryl. My dad did it. Lady new Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl. The way the adult industry got way, uh, let off on the thing. All their things were tranny, tranny, tranny, and then they changed the trans and everyone's like, all right, thanks for changing.
Starting point is 00:50:45 We'll never mention that old stuff again. Meanwhile, there's a world of VHS porn that always says tranny, never said trance. They just give it away to third world countries like Super Bowl shirts. Look at these names. They also, I think they were trying to get away from the porn connotation with...
Starting point is 00:51:00 So now, that's so funny, now the word trance, it's literally the reason they didn't want to have the word tranny used today Wish a movie called trans Siberian gangbang Probably trans Siberian something Losing our heads dude he's controlling all of us. There's a Serbian team. What? Serbian triad. Siby aren't that says, both of them.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Siby aren't, sorry. How you doing great? You're doing great. She dropped out of the country. She dropped out of high school, dude. Go back to the high school. Did you say she got hit by an ice ago? Yeah, she dropped out of high school.
Starting point is 00:51:40 She dropped out of high school. I went back to school. What a winner's specific accident? You know that she got hit by an ice. By an ice. Do you know what's like a cryptidol? If you die from an to school. What a winner's specific accident. You know that she got like hip-hop. I know. You know, it's like a cruise ride. If you die from a motorcycle. She shows you the sky of the time.
Starting point is 00:51:51 If you die from an ice skull, you were not long for the world at all, for sure. Go back to the list. You know, Christine lost the ability to read because you got to hit with a giant ice skull, right? You hit her right in her reading. Right in the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe. if I could read better
Starting point is 00:52:06 There's really not a lot of trans I know I was looking at trans Siberian. How did I read it? I don't remember what I said Siberia Now you're melting my brain You know my head. We've named this trans fluid scene one Maybe give Casey kisses in April Olsen a shot Yeah, well they are the ones doing it. Keep going down. Do we find best comedy? I want to see what best I I have been scrolling through this and I haven't hit it yet giving head to get a head star wars the mandal the mandalorian
Starting point is 00:52:46 get a hit Star Wars the Mandalorian, a host, a Tano, a triple X parody. Not necessary. Here we go. Clever titles of the year. There we go. There we go. Are you a tankler or a sprinkler, Brattie, sis, new Biles? Bobby, everybody was kung fu, fucking PR originals. The hand jobs tail, a nerds of porn parody, nerds of porn, creation of Adam.
Starting point is 00:53:09 In same clown pussy, POVR originals. Invading Uranus, evil angel. That's a good one. That's a good one. Legends of the sass crotch, desperate pleasures, pulse. Oh, I mean, your favorite, you skipped over your favorite. We said it when I already I'm a transcendent and I'm in the meat Sorry, man. Your girl is a size queen concoction pulse
Starting point is 00:53:37 There's something about facials great braziers Toys in the asshole severe sex exile sorry man your girls the size Queen is such a great way to go that's the title By the way this next subject is gonna be great because these guys want to be taken seriously directed something And he still has to be like you know, yeah fuck Hudson Director of the year Fuck Hudson a bunch of girls in the mix now. Don't care about this. Keep going international performers. Don't cares.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Don't cares. Don't cares. Mainstream venture of the years. Pretty funny. Small hands. He put out an album. I met that guy. He's joined Angel's husband. Rich Vastit too. Small hands. The Bella Thorn Shake It music video. Oh, keep going down. Okay past all this Okay, the award for outstanding comedy back seat driving school Black Widow triple X Cuck my life and fuck my wife three
Starting point is 00:54:44 Honey takes her cheerleading seriously Influence Emily wills. It's like it's like an alternative comedy It really does the girls were all asses and not very attractive. It's actually a good show And they do actually fucking it which is crazy. She's looking for like she's trying to find herself in the city. You know it's crazy. His FX almost picked it up. It was because of the actual sex that they couldn't pick it up. Oh what time is it? Oh yeah we got to go to commercial. Oh, Lordy Lufus. Dude Whitney needs that package delivery. That mom is stacked. Love sex and lawyers. Oh, Davey, dude you're going to be around these grates. Speaking of grates, we got the rock. We got package delivery that mom has stacked love sex and lawyers all at the end
Starting point is 00:55:25 do you gonna be around these greats speaking of greats we got the rock we got the Robert Kelly hanging out with us in Laura coming in after the break go back to that again Christine last one I'm reading Dan oh the most outrageous sex scenes because by the way keep in mind one of our guests Ebony Mystique, is in one of these, if you recall, member. Yeah. Um, anal slime bath. Emma Hicks and Adriarray, young anal three way. Yeah, young anal.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Demon Pussy exercise by hot trans nuns. Five lesbians, wild ass anal orgy, frisky anal nymphos. Damn. Ink motel Lana Annelise with daddy issues gets gang banged. That's a lot. That's basically you're giving away the movie right in the title too much You're not wrong Lena Moon vs. Francesca Palma 2 Q for cousin
Starting point is 00:56:18 Predator Dick Hunter Sun Fun and Mom's bomb 2 two. I want that shirt. Son's Fun and Moms Bum. And they should sell that at Key West. Yeah, son's Fun and Moms Bums. Son's Fun and Moms Bums. We're going to take a quick break. Robert Kelly hanging out the whole show.
Starting point is 00:56:34 His new special kill box out now on LouisCK.com. Big J going to be in San Diego December 29th through the 31st. Then he's got dates in Chicago and other cities bigjay comedy dot com Dan Soder sacrameno February 2nd through the 4th after that Vancouver Salt Lake City and Toronto get it It's the trans Siberian orchestra playing for tickets and all tour dates of course go to dan soder dot com We'll be right back. It's the bonfire We'll be right back. It's the Bond Fire. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bond Fire is a radio show. A full show. We got a studio and everything.
Starting point is 00:57:14 You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. at www.slashbondfire for a special offer.

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