The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Prof. Dan Soder's Vocal Academy
Episode Date: February 23, 2023Before Dan departs, he teaches his voice-stramentalist expertise to the staff! ...
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I'm Dan.
And I'm Jay.
And this isn't just a podcast, everybody.
We're actually a radio show over on SiriusXM.
For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the SXM app.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
Too special to tell you here, but it may involve sex.
For our stand-up tour dates, go to dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com.
And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com. And now the bonfire with big J.O. Crescent and Dancoder.
Go, go away, go, go away!
Dan, we Jacob's on one today.
It's the bonfire series XM, Fetch, Tark 1, and 3.
I'm Dancoder, that's Big J.O. Crescent.
Oh, crew, DJ Lou, Christine, Jacob,
and the Black King, the Black Tiger, Lewis.
Jowl.
Jay Lou Christine Jacob and the Black Tiger Lewis. J'all.
Rah.
Rah.
So, right on time.
I was about to go down with outfail.
I was going out.
Scoop this up.
Yuck up is a classy horny. A lot of things today.
Can you lean? Yeah, thanks Lynn. You've revved up our little Jacob.
Instead of full photoshoot every day, it really brightens up the day.
It makes me happy. Really, Jacob, so happy.
Did you have that clean? All right, good. Makes me happy. Makes me happy Really? Jacob so happy. Do you have that you have that clean? All right, good
Makes me happy
Well, you showed us this yoga video where like Jacob. What do you want us to do this? Nothing?
Maybe it is visual this is how it might broke me. I broke my own rules
Jacob it's like that thing you were talking about you know with the billionaire with Linda like
I shouldn't be doing this but I love you. You make me be crazy.
Yeah, I'll do heroin with you.
You know, try a baby.
That's Jacob with this girl, he goes, I don't do visuals on Bond Fire, but for you baby,
I'll do visuals.
She's just in a cornfield doing...
Yeah, if I was no one, I'd start getting her hooked on math a little bit.
Just enough to keep her around, you know?
No, dude. I forget what it's called letter fly
What is this stretching what's satsu or yoga?
This looks like she's doing it against her will Jacob will tweet this out at the bonfire next success
Yeah, this is for her freedom. Yeah, it looks like she's just in a field. There's not a comfortable man
I see what you're in with Sasha.
And Jacob, let me tell you what's going on here. Here's what you like about this.
Zegas, see your titties right through her shirt.
Her big, her big titties are bouncing around on a halftop, which reminds you of our
girl Lynn, our spokesmodel in the picture. This is Jacob. This is solid vanilla
content. That's why I brought it up. I wanted you to say in this is solid.
I'm moving around lose head.
It's all right.
I'm moving around.
I wanted to present to you what I consider
great a vanilla porn.
This is vanilla bean dude.
This is like fancier way more than regular porn.
I do this before I did thoughts probably.
I do thoughts before I do this.
But this would take a while.
I mean, that's good.
Yeah.
Is that our intention, do you think?
Do you think she's doing it?
Yeah, she's no way it can be just a yoga.
No, dude.
She's super into fitness, dude.
Not showing your fucking nipples and fucking moose novels.
Dude, she's like, passport to United States.
I come and do this on your lawn
I show you how to stretch it. I better voice sucks. Yeah, I better pussy stinks
I bet she has hair in places. You don't want hair and I bet you got a brother that'll kill you
No, I'm telling you long sideburns or something I picture a guy who carrying a jagged gant a gun filming this yeah
All right, we done now you go in the house. I feed you
Would you beat to this Jacob?
Has he will you beat to this has he is the question?
I can't because I honestly in my head
I'm only I'm picturing the guy that's filming her like would kill me afterward
Because you know if any guy approaches her, they're dead.
Do you just want to give her tummy kisses here?
Oh, you're crushing a protein bar
while you're staring at it?
Yeah, bitch, do it.
Stretch it out.
What are those quads yelling?
Stretch it out.
What are the deltoids yelling about?
Stretch them out.
I can beat to this.
Yeah.
I could do it.
I could do it.
You need me to do it right in there.
I could.
You want to pound one, hold it, this?
Yeah. She doesn't cut it out
She's gonna get it
But she is
Who's ripping a butt off screen going bad enough not gonna off?
Bad enough off are you gonna get it?
Yeah, I'm gonna how gonna fuck I give it to you you keep touching your feet when you titties touching your legs
It's gonna make me do something to you. She definitely knows that are like floppy titties are like like Hugging up in that shirt like she knows. Yeah, it's gonna maybe do something to you. She definitely knows that her floppy titties are hugging up in that shirt.
She knows that.
It's definitely for that.
The way it holds that HBO to back up in your shit.
Back up in your shit.
I think in the interest of time, everybody, we should probably be made a plan today.
Oh yeah.
To go to Dan Sotar's vocal academy.
Well, as I depart, I need to bestow this wisdom.
Well, we got to dull these out.
Yeah, I don't see who's the best at them.
Blackloo made a list.
And I want to go through, because some of these,
you already do.
Yeah.
They're in your range.
I mean, racist clonese, but I'd almost
would argue you also does a dual effort.
Doveville is ours.
That's a do that's a dual effort.
Yeah, I would say Buffalo Bills, you for sure. Butveville is ours. That's a dual effort. Yeah.
I would say Buffalo Bills, you for sure.
But Jewish accent is.
It's like the instruction worker I could do fine.
Gay accent, you're fine.
But there's someone here that I can have in heart we both do.
Yeah.
Macho man.
Black man.
DJ Lou Girlfriend we both do.
Bobby Kelly voice.
I feel like we actually have Bobby Kelly now.
Yeah, so we're fine off that one.
Jacob voice we both do.
It's almost like the Lewis voice of this show.
Yeah.
I wish I couldn't do that.
Boss, then accent, we can get Jay there.
Yeah, Russian, boss, the dialects.
The dialects?
I am nervous about.
Like the African voice?
That's what will get me African.
I almost think I can get.
Well, the second one I'd say you already have it anyways.
Lou hit us with it.
Hit it.
Rich little.
You know, I've been doing impressions for a long, long, long time.
My favorite politician by far was always Ronald Reagan.
Who the hell are you?
I'm John Connery.
Sean Connery is being asked whether he would like to vacation in Spain.
Yeah.
Shhh.
Christopher Walken sees a magic trick.
Wow!
Jimmy Page.
It's the end of the Dornest Finger. That's how they wrote this on. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
And of course my favorite, Jack Nicholson.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Easy, baby. I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Easy, baby. And what's with that sneering crap?
Don't do that to the people.
They want to like you.
I'm Steven Scott.
See how that works?
Yeah.
To prevent a major drought of impressions and fun voices, we here at the Bonfire must run
our existing staffers through Dan Sotar's vocal academy. And now, class, the greatest voice-traumentalist of our time, Professor Daniel Soder.
Oh, thank you, Jason.
Thank you.
Welcome to the Dan Soder Voice Academy.
As I leave onto my sabbatical, a journey into the woods, I must leave you with the tools
to help the bonfire keep burning.
I feel like I'm the TA in this one.
Dude, first off dog, teacher's assist.
You're not even that.
You are a professor at the Dan Soder Voice Academy,
because what we've practiced here at getting our doctorates in voices was we learned
that there's tones and there's groups of voices in tones.
Alla, the fell dog Justin Silver.
Also, you can look at the...
I'll say if I sing all night long,
I sound exactly like that I'm rich, I think.
Yeah, we both do a spring steam.
We both do a Bob Dylan.
We both do a Vetter.
So, that's it.
And again, you can look at our library
and see where these moments were solidified into voices, better than I'm gonna answer. And again, you can look at our library
and see where these moments were solidified into voices,
especially fell dog, Josh Adam Myers, Justin Sober,
those family versus other ones.
You have a much more wider catalog
as well as ability.
And I just told someone recently on one of the podcast,
I did do the story of like running out of that uh
The voice overall addition. Yeah, oh my god. I said my friend Dan does a doctor Phil and then did a bad impression of Dan's
Doctor Phil you do a great doctor Phil everyone knows but you trash. It's trash
But I tried to do I said this I go this is Dan's soda's impression of doctor Phil basically
And they go any impressions that you do and that's like Charlie she
And I'm the goes the most baby and then panic then went
I was trash
I got lost in the hallways of the building and couldn't get out dude
That is so fucking bailing on a on a walk by them three times when they were like it's fine
I'm like stop fine. Stop saying it. I'm trying to look at you when I walk by it
Please let me leave here with my some dignity. Stop it. Which is any dignity?
Well black Lou made a list of voices mm-hmm tossed them all on there
Which I love and then we kind of went through and you know we talked about it races clean Eastwood
We created that together, but I wouldn't mind seeing somebody else
trying to pull it off.
What do you mean?
Oh, one of the crew?
Oh yeah!
You're right, you know what, we'll keep that back.
I don't know.
The crew's gonna have to take a swing at all these.
Well, the ones I don't do, I will take a shot at.
Well, the Bobby Kelly voice we have Bobby Kelly.
Sure.
So we don't need to do that.
You know what though, while we're at it,
I wouldn't mind hearing everybody
do a little Bobby Kelly though.
Okay, you know what, you're the captain,
I'm not gonna pull this, I'm just the,
I'm the prof dude.
I'm just here to get, I'm the sensei,
I'm just here to get you to your, to the glow.
Yeah, I think, uh, Jacob's voice, I think,
at what point Jacob, are you gonna,
do you think Bobby comes in and just does the Jacob voice
and everything's cool?
I think he'll be able to pull it off.
I do too.
Jay does it really well.
Jay does it perfectly.
So we're not missing a beat there.
DJ lose girlfriend.
I'm excited to hear the crew try that one.
Yeah, I think we should go right down the list.
He's just auditioned everybody.
All right.
I don't know what is this.
And then at the end, do you want me to give tips
on how they can improve their eat,
do I do that person by person or at the end?
Yup, machine got it.
Well, first and first, I see we just see who does it for.
You got to give them a little taste.
Okay, and then I'll take the second swipe at it.
As always, you do your first take impressions.
By the way, sometimes they're fantastic.
You do, and I've said this on previous episodes, you do the first take impressions by the way sometimes are fantastic you do and
this is I've said this on previous episodes you do the best Charles Manson it's not a
Charles Manson I know but I'll tell you what just works it just works Christina are you
excited to try these I'm I'm you were great at Shakespeare
The same Shakespeare yeah, I know this is silly way harder than more harder than shake
It is way harder than Shakespeare so we'll we'll I'll do the voice
I don't want to say also like you guys are not only
But there's no failure here. I hear Jay and I are here to catch you.
You know what?
I say, we go around the horn and it'll be a conversation of voice.
Dan will ask the first question, which I will then throw to you.
He will do a little improv.
He will throw to Black Lou, who will then throw to DJ Lou,
who then throw to Christine.
And we'll see who can do the voice, and then you know what I can do
is I can knight you with the voice and then
you're the voice you're the one that does that voice on the show now watch how easy this is
we're gonna imitate what you've said like you were gonna say something and we were gonna
stay in fact we can do that if you would like if that's bowling with bumpers sorry Christina I
must have grown a production bone recently yeah this is the funniest way to do it yeah maybe you
didn't hear my family history,
but I can't look at Black Lou and say,
racist Clint Eastwood too.
Well, that's, you don't have to say something racist.
Race, you're gonna ask a question.
Yeah.
Has racist Clint Eastwood?
Yeah.
Like we're gonna send, Dan's gonna ask me something.
We're gonna teach you answer.
And then I send the question to you.
And we're gonna teach you how to do the racist Clint Eastwood
It's not just saying something racist. You got to find something funny to say that is that could be
Taken as racist. Jacob. We're gonna make the so easy on you. You'll see. Let's get one of the centers
One around the more and I just had a finger up my ass less than four hours ago
I'm a lester hours ago. He's already back in the game. For money. I paid money for that to happen.
And I'm gonna teach you.
You got your fox hunting jacket.
You're good to go, man.
Good to go.
Some of these are more like a millionaire
who's gonna try to sexually molest wrestlers.
Yeah, and by the way, yeah, yeah, dude.
Looking tight.
Jacob DuPont.
I love it, dude.
I love your fox.
What is it?
Take a look.
Fox, Fox Catcher.
Fox Catcher.
Team Fox Catcher. And some of these are gonna to be I might whiff on some of these. So Dan
You say question. Yeah, which J's here. I will answer as the TA and then shoot you a question
You will answer and you'll get it by that point you'll ask black little question and then
Black little ass DJ little questions. You just try to do the voice. Don't worry. I want your saying
He's trying to do the voice. Okay, we. You just try to do the voice. Don't worry I want your saying, you're just trying to do the voice.
Okay.
We're just seeing who can do the voice.
I just need to pass all this stuff on.
Cause there's gonna be bits
that I'm not gonna be here for you more
that you guys need to continue.
I feel so much nervousness from Jacob and Christine and Lou.
And I gotta tell you some guys,
you're gonna be humiliated if this goes bad.
Can I tell you who's just wanna make everybody feel good?
Can I tell you who's really bringing some energy right now
that I like is Black Lou.
Black Lou is so ready to jump in on this?
Yeah.
You can't wait.
You're not nervous, huh?
Playing it cool, that's all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, are you ready?
Buddy, I'm so ready for this.
I know you're the TA.
I'm just looking if you're a fucking classes in session.
We're going which way.
Where we dance, gonna ask me.
Yeah.
Dan's gonna ask me a question I will answer in the you. We're going to ask you. We're going to ask you. Dan's going to ask me a question.
I will answer in the accent.
I will answer in the accent.
Then ask you a question immediately.
I thought it would be quick.
You will answer that question.
Throw it over to Blackloo.
Blackloo will answer.
Throw it.
DJ Liu, he'll answer and then throw a question to Christine.
We'll work all the way to the question.
And then we might flip the order, you know,
we might, who knows, gonna keep you on your time. We'll see who's panicking the most. Yeah,
I'll see who locks up. Now, the first voice, not an easy one, but a fun one. This is a brutal one.
It's a brutal one. I always love this one. So we got to start with the African voice. Now,
I would probably say this is more East African than West African, but it's just in the
way you ask the questions of like, who are you?
That's all you have to do.
You know, you know, just imagine, yeah, you're gonna lock up on this one.
Jacob, now watch.
Let's just start.
I need you to become Jacob.
Send it to me.
Ask me a question there.
I want you.
What did you have for breakfast today? Oh today?
I did not have breakfast, but I had a little bit of an Italian hoagie
Jacob, what kind of people do you want least on your lawn?
Jacob asked me question the question
What's your question? Check out the most important question when I ask you the question
It's so bad
Check out what this Toby's African name
He's name is Kuntakintai
Alright
Now you gotta ask my blue question
Who do you not want on your lawn?
Oh my goodness, I don't know
But if I'm going to say someone, I'm going to say white people
Because they don't give a shit about your lawn.
I mean, they don't give a fuck.
Black Luke's showing up, dude.
Black Luke's showing up.
Did you get a STJ little question?
Did you get a STJ little question for you?
Why are you not longer called White Lou anymore?
Same man.
I can't do it.
Yes, you can, dude.
Same man, it ain't cool being old.
Jive Turkey is close to Thanksgiving.
And now I'm question for Christine.
Christine! Where you at girl?
Oh fuck, who is that?
What did you do?
Trading places.
Trading places.
What did you do?
Hey my man, what did you do? Hey my man, what did he do?
What did he do?
What did you do? That was crazy.
I wanted to ask Christine, what it looked like?
Christine, you're African answer?
Do you say where you at?
Yeah.
I am right here.
Where were you at? Yeah. I am right here. Where are you at?
Mr. Trot, you changed it.
Who changed it?
Hey, man, out.
Black Lou, you on that.
And rightfully so sure, to make the show knock it fired,
African accent.
Black Lou, dude, I don't know what, but I don't know what you do.
That's what you said.
Yeah, you should have had the same emotion with it.
We should jump right to a Chinese word.
Can you dig it?
I knew that you could.
We'll come back to number two,
but racist clean Eastwood, which is obviously
both of us built that.
Yeah, so that's the, and it's just,
racist clean Eastwood's just talking through your teeth
in a certain kind of tone. And then you just need to find something that sounds racist. Racist Clint East was just talking through your teeth in a certain kind of tone.
And then you just need to find something that sounds racist.
Hey Jay!
Yeah.
What happened since all these VHSs moved into the neighborhood?
These ass clowns have been bringing down the property taxes.
Yeah.
But they're driving up to crime.
I'm telling you, these loose farts. They're ruining all the restaurants. Jacob
Who do you want least on your lawn?
These ninnies
They're ruining is that a bad word?
I think someone said it's racist black, but I've always just thought of it as
insensitively gay, so I don't know if it's any better than I don't think it's what it is
You have to ask a black little question
Minnie means foolish person foolish person to now
Kiss your order
You don't know a question. Yeah, you ask him questions racist clean. You're losing up. You're asking any question you want
Black Lou is that shirt for you by you. Yeah
I Yeah Blue I There's a reason you two are good at this. Oh come on Jake. Let's ask you something these nineties won't let me give me a time
See something the DJ
Black little this is going great. This is even funny. I thought I was going to do it.
I know it was even funny. This is a above expectation.
I know my lane. I think you had it more than you do. I think you had it more than you
did. You can find it.
Go ahead, Black-Low. You asked DJ Lou a question.
DJ Lou.
What is your least favorite line on it?
It's like Freddy Krueger.
I'm so good at making stuff up.
Oh, oh, oh.
Whatever, sugar bookers.
Drone my lawn.
Okay.
Okay.
Who you inviting over here to this house?
I like it. Do DJ Lou's, I liked it. It was a little bit of a Wolverine from that's right, but it fucking worth impression on my dad. Oh lord
Last racist
Christine racist cleaners would
I'm not gonna be inviting wait
No, that's not it. That doesn't sound like it at all.
Oh, damn, Dan, so far it's Academy.
I didn't do it on the show.
Yeah, that way.
I certainly won't be inviting any of the nines
over to my house.
We really pile on the nines.
Yeah, the nines are really taking a beat, right?
Dude, I didn't want to take a break. My face hurts. I think we dropped the nineties. Yeah, the nineties are really taking a beat today
I think we jumped the boss to that. I'm some of these I want to hear so fast
Falling the pieces. Well, I'm also writing who does the who does the best one and out of me and you don't count And I think out of the crew I'd have to give it to DJ Lou racist Clint Eastwood. Yeah black Lou got African accent DJ
Liu gets racist Clint Eastwood no surprise on the
Christine still to get on the board you still got to get on the board who do you want to see next J?
Well, we can get Christina free point and do the Valley girl. This is a mood because that's yeah
That's she's gonna take and that's not really yeah, that's one that anymore can pick up back to differ you think we can try it
Yeah, that's one that anyone can pick up back to differ you think look at try
I'm throwing up around obviously. We're just doing very basic white girl voice where it's like honestly I'm like freaking out right now Jay are you freaking out? I am totally freaking out Jacob what the fuck are you even picking us up for the mall or what?
Oh my god
Sure Sure, sure it am. I don't want to do this.
You're just doing this.
It's just an egg.
Oh my god.
This is so great.
I'm like, I'm so great.
Who's the key for God?
We're going to the end.
We're going to the key for this?
Oh my god, Louis, do you want to go to Banana Republic with me?
This stuff fits me so well.
I actually find Banana Republic to be a little disgusting, and I'm really into like Evercrombie hair.
It's really fantastic. DJ Lou.
My push is literally sweating right now Christine
Christine what
Oh my god like my pussy is totally fine right now. It's not even sweating. You're disgusting. I mean you can't even
This is and honestly though DJ Lou gave her a run for her her money
I didn't just purely on what he chose to say
Black Lou is there with the voice Jacob you were that you know you showed up. I thought I that was my best one yet
I don't know dude. I think your racist cleanies would might be your best one right
But yeah, Valley girl. I think I'm not good at Boston
So well, we got to get you there. I'll try because it's gonna come up
And also you know Bobby's from Boston
So you're gonna have to like hey Bobby when you were younger the guys said this yeah
Need a lot of those okay, and this is one again your TA you're gonna pick this up you're on level eight the same
A 101 this is a fucking 401 for you is 40 is 404 for you. Fire that me. So boss and accent, it's just as,
as are the ones you want to lean on,
you know, just mess up your eyes and say, you know,
uh, what do you rock hard?
You know, it's all vowels and eyes.
You think my cocks rock hard right now?
Rock hard.
Why is my cock rock hard?
You think, because the pictures...
You have the cocks?
Your friend Todd is rock hard. Jacob, your fucking cocks probably hard from all that rock hard you think because the pictures you have the clocks your friend Todd is rock hard
Jacob your fucking cock's probably hard for more that rock hard cock
You're better
You fucking
You want to you want to go to the socks the socks game with me. I hate this so much I hate this
This is my worst accent. I don't sure yeah, dude. It's only gonna be brutal. Yeah, let's
Packed pack the car. Yeah, you gotta say what you need to do
Lou
Are you gonna pack the car pack gonna pack the car? Pack the car?
You gonna pack the car?
I just feel humiliated.
Jacob, listen, we gotta do this.
Guys, this is part of the growing pains.
This is gonna hurt, but it's gonna lead to so much great stuff.
I never thought I was taking over voices when you left.
You know, guys, Michael Jordan didn mind that I would be doing this.
Michael Jordan didn't make his high school team first.
He was cut. He was cut from Barcy.
Yep.
Yo, Christine, you want to go see, uh, what the fuck?
The loose bales, my favorite thing in the world.
Who would take a baly?
Go see a socks game, uh, later.
It was terrible.
Who's my line? Christine, do you want to go see a socks game later? I'm gonna be the one that has to carry that. You're gonna have to carry that torch. Can I ask for one?
Sure.
Then I saw on the list.
Dude, I'm sweating from laughing, dude.
You got me laughing like fucking burnt over here.
I'm squealing.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating.
I'm sweating. I'm sweating. I'm on the list I'm so I'm sweating from laughing
you like like fucking burnt over here I'm squeal
and DJ lose girlfriend okay now it's basically just a
fiery Latina J and I have played around with it
DJ was gonna go I'm just waiting for the whole turn. I'm just waiting for him to come around to him.
But it's just basically anywhere from a rosy Perez to a...
Shut up stupid!
To...
You can make it a little your own.
Yeah.
Spicy female Athena.
Whatever comes up in your mind is that.
You know, you don't have, there's not like an actual voice you have to copy
It's just more of kind of like a
Jay why are you so stupid?
Because I am stupid because you know I ain't gonna school. That's why I got my GDs
Jenga what do you think you're so cool cuz you want the schools?
Why are you looking at that fucking bitch?
Look at that fucking bitch. Oh, stabs me in the fucking eye.
Make it some fucking mole.
Oh, my whole way, dude.
My shit from black li-
Oh, my god.
Oh, I can't overwint.
Because I only had stumbling for Lou.
I have anything for Lou.
It's just awesome, easy question to do.
Just to pass it on.
No, you look at so fucking fine in that hoodie man, make
What you leave
Once you leave that pregnant wife you're some go with me
Hey, okay, that's my good me go. Oh
Why you live out where you ask stupid ¿Por qué? ¿Dos marco en mi? ¡Loo! ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Por qué? Por qué? Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Por qué? Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Por qué? Por qué? Por qué? Por qué I'm like, it's not coming out to manage. Fuck you twin.
Fuck you twin.
You fucking twin.
Get him hug him.
You flung.
You did get the emotions.
God, they're it.
Dude, him pulling back always is funny.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Where are you going today?
Drinking. You stupid, you know I don't do this. Where you going today? Drinking? You stupid you know I don't drink anymore so I don't get all fucked up like you.
Pretty good Christine.
Christine that's pretty good.
I think I'm gonna give it to Black Lou.
Black Lou came out with it and hit the Spanish.
I actually thought I did well there.
My mole line.
It was killer.
It was killer.
Killer dude.
Killer but just Black Lou as far as taking shoulder in the
responsibility yeah it black will have to take over the role he's throwing Spanish in there
he's got it he's got everything together I'll do the racisty one and then black luke can do a
more legit version based on our based on true story Yes. He's based on true story. Yeah, Jay's more like a you know I think I mean listen
Let's talk about one of the biggest or two of the biggest holes that we're gonna have here is
Of course macho man and Rodney danger field. No, I think we have back to back
We have to do those two. Yeah, do you want to do them at the same time or do you want to do let's do Rodney first?
Because Rodney's very Is this is very, it's just, it's just low register.
She got this. It's just a lot of, you know, it is a lot of jiggling, a lot of, hey,
you're moving around a little bit. I'm pulling you, Jacob. You're gonna get
this voice just fine. Look at Jay. Everybody's getting laid. You got that. You know
the quotes. Sense me dude. So all you got to do is uh hey Jay when's the last time a lovely lady came over. Oh, I don't even know they never show up anymore
Hey Jacob you getting late Stedolino
Okay
This is maybe my favorite moment of the bonfire in seven or eight years.
Hey, so hold it you.
I'm 37.
Oh, I went to a fight last night and a hockey game broke out.
Louis, you ever been to see hockey? Hey!
I leave my wife everywhere.
She finds out my home.
I mean, DJ Lou's surprisingly right now, outside of you, have the best one.
Hey, Christine, look at me doo!
I ain't got no respect. I
Ain't got no respect
You do the best one, but I think outside of you I
Might go Christine So you mean the most fun one it'd be fun to hear a girl doing a Rodney danger
Give me one more give me one more get over spec'd
Hey, I ain't got no respect
I don't know why I love it, but I do
Hey, when I have a period it doesn't show up for three days. I'm bleeding there
I got nothing going on down there. It's a jet stream. I'm telling you and now this is the I'm telling you
Man now macho man's gravely gotta hurt you throw a little bit. Mm-hmm. Because what you gotta do is you gotta
You know like do that noise
You like a like a dog ground
I'm still really doing my Rodney Dangerfield. He's alright
But Jacob do it. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.
Even the do your thing. Yeah. I'm taking off my like where Jacob is going, so he's staying the gravel and then you come up real big.
And then you go back down, yeah.
And then you can't you whisper.
You whisper sweeten up things in a rear.
Right, Jane?
What's gonna happen when the shit hits the van?
Well first I'm gonna talk in a really low register here
And I'm gonna bring it up!
Yeah!
When it comes time to bring it big
And then I'm gonna go back down
Because you never know where it's gonna come
Dig it!
Yeah, call him real McMill!
Because he's got the map!
Jacob, oh my, my, my questions, questions, questions.
Can you dig it?
Question answers.
Bring it on.
You think you're the voice instrumentalist here?
They're right.
You think you're gonna take this championship?
I don't know.
I'm't know. I'm sucks. I'm never watch wrestling before.
I've heard much of Randy Talk.
Do you a wrestling guy?
Oh yeah, me so little is a bitch.
Oh my god, you did it.
You did it?
Yeah. Oh my god, you did it.
You did it?
Yeah, you guys are a question of fucker.
You used to give a gift to Chris Ysquishon?
Christine!
It takes a lot of time to talk to you.
To a fart dude.
Christine!
The dirt!
The dirt!
Well, you heard the man. We're staying
Well, you work man
We're gonna this dance order so much
Love you That was a good one
Christine's good, you're coming through in a way that I'm telling it is in person everybody
It's doing good. I
Will I'm gonna have to give that to DJ Lou from for the pop I mean for sure
The pop do that got me comes in big and angry just came in big and angry
But everyone did real good Jacob you did fucking good job on that one. Where did I rank them up amongst the four?
I would I out of the four I would probably go DJ Lou
Christine You black Lou I would out of the four I would probably go DJ Lou Christine
Sorry you black Lou on that one, but hey the thing is is your you're getting bet
Yeah, you're gaining confidence
So the next one the next one's a classic one that everyone knows that you'll that Jay's I think already has is on the press best which is
that you'll the jays i think already has is on the press best which is uh former california governor are no shorts and anger sure
and it's an easy one to get into
because jaco all you have to do is just say the of course my favorite one
it's how you get into it you're not going to get a good pump unless you
stretch of course you're going to hurt yourself
jason wins the last time you've blown out your quadriceps
Well, you know I do it every day of course of course. Why would man not do that? Jacob are you blasting your quads every day?
Mine is pretty bad
Let's hope we find one in the four hour. Jacob save it
You need to do upper body and lower body.
Jay.
I see that you're glutes looking really firm.
Is- are you been working out your glutes?
I can't.
It's terrible.
He's asking that you're having.
You've got to believe in yourself Jacob.
Come on.
You can do it.
It's just for Tyra this one. No, Jacob
Say it what got it a little bit Jacob what is best in life?
To crush your enemies
Jacob show him to
Crush your enemies see them driven before you and to hear the limitations of their women
Come on Jacob do it as
J as black Lou a question come on
Lewis do you feel strong?
You did it. Yes, we feel I asked a question
That was it.
Black Lou, I know it.
Deep down inside of you there's an Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bring them out of you.
There's no Arnold Schwarzenegger here.
Come on!
You're the only one that can change the last name
to have the N-word in it.
You can do it.
Say it!
Arnold Schwarzen! Arnold Schwarzenegger. There, that's fine. You can do it say it I don't Schwarzer I don't Schwarzer player
Yeah, that's fine
That works that works
DJ Lou will come with me to the chopper
Are we looking for John can't I?
I
Want to mega mix his bales
Christine have you seen John can't I?
Of course I have you seen John Connor?
What do you see holding his nose away?
Of course, I have not seen John Connor.
That was dark here.
Dark here.
I know, you're lying.
Holy guacamole, that was a tougher run than I thought it was going to be.
Maybe Bobby can do Arnold.
I don't know, I thought so much for you.
Oh, I forgot breathing different. I thought that's pretty good. Oh Breathe in different
Sad on that one nobody pulled that
I'm happy just retiring that one now
Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. That was just a portion a tiny sliver a
Morsel of the entire show you want the whole thing go to seriesexempt.com slash bond fire for a special offer that is tremendous.
It's so good.
It's going to make your family upset with you.
We're going to lose money over here.
And you can go to bigjcomedy.com and dancoder.com for our standup dates.