The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Russian Bathhouse (feat. Carmen Lynch)

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

This special Monday episode celebrates Carmen Lynch and her Comedy Cellar taping in NYC tonight! Bob reveals his love of men's bathhouses when Dan Soder and Andy Fiori surprise the gang!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Alcarson and Robert Kelly. five finger and he was like I want Pantera and then I played five finger death punch and he was like I want to go see these guys. Yeah. He plays him every day in the car. And I'm pretty much best friends with the guy. We hung once and he's

pretty obsessed with me I think. I'm actually excited to see him. Yeah. I'm gonna double down that bond too when I... I, getting him hooked up in, what do you call it? Vegas, he lives in Vegas, so for the bird tour out there, so he's gonna come to that show too. So I'm like, we're all super excited about, we're all super excited about the show, on the sixth that you're gonna give me like,

pff, few tickets too, right? I was bummed I offer him tickets and he was like, yeah, just two is fine. I'm like shit So he was gonna ask for 10 I can go I could probably make that work We have an awesome guest in studio with us today She's gonna be taping her special this coming Monday June 26 at 8 in 10 p.m. At the comedy seller in New York City It is the hilarious common Lynch, common. Woo! Hi, thanks for having me. Thanks for doing the shows.

First time you've been on with me in Bobby, I think. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, make sure you go and get tickets at thecomedyseller.com, get your tickets to go see her live taping. You get to be there and you'll be on the special with her. So make sure you go to thecomedyseller.com and get those tickets right now.

Mostly the 10, get the 10 everybody. Get the 10. Yeah, nobody goes out Mondays at 10. So that's the one I'm trying to push Monday's at 10. Also later feels the later show feels cool or always. It does. I agree. We were just talking about something we've called daytime evil before.

When you say metal bands during the day, it doesn't feel right doing comedy. Like early afternoon outside. Oh, it's so weird. It's sunny. It doesn't feel right at all. Yeah, like the seller has the brunch show. Have you ever done that? Yeah, but that's dark at least.

It's like you forget that it's brunch. Still feel when you come in, you're like, what am I doing? Yeah. I've never done a brunch show, but it does sound horrible. Does it still do that? Every Sunday and it's sold out every Sunday. Wow. They have bagels and they have all this whole brunch

up there. It's a comic, yeah. Also day drinking is fun. I think people really like that. Yeah. They do. Sunday, Sunday drinkers, the brunching, I'm not a big fan of brunch.

I think it's on brunch comedy. Mateo. Okay. A lot of people that live near the salar will do it. Is this all little codes for gay? Couple of Northern calling seller dwellers if you know what I'm talking about Yeah, no, it's I went I brought the family down once I didn't go on I didn't want to go on

But yeah, he's a little kinds of food. I've gone I went once and then SDS me she goes what are you doing here? I thought you were a stand comic and I left. She did not. I know you have to work there, you love her. I do, I love her like a mother. She is not a fan of me. Really? Yeah.

Well your mother was abusive too. Well I love my mother too, Jay. I still have a mother. You have a hard time sticking up for yourself, you've found out. I don't know if you know Bobby got raped by a rushing guy to be a FL. I think I don't get raped. She got it last week.

You look stupid. I think my skin looks good. You've got to wait since the rape. You really snipped that, Bobby. I did not get raped. The guy worked there and it was just, I didn't, he didn't say he worked there. He put his cock in Bobby's face until Bobby put his head on their water.

We don't even have to ask any more questions other than that. So how long have you guys been dating now? I would, first of all, that's not what how he started asking me to do stuff in the sauna Like you know, he was helping me, but I didn't know he worked there He just looked like a Russian Japanese guy soon turned my microphone's on today This came pouring out above he's been holding it and he wants to get this out of his system Well, you look so happy though. He does happy. I was glowing You are glowing you look tan glowing. You aren't glowing.

You look tanned. I did not do anything with a Russian Japanese guy in the song. That Russian guy's dick street. That's a good combo. Russian Japanese. No, he was just one of those. Not a good penis. He was one of those like the...

I saw his penis. It's very... Half of it at least. It looks like a tree bark. That's like a... It was dark. Yeah, it's from the rubbing. Very dark. It's probably from most of the rubbing. Dude, that's like a, a, a wrap. It was dark, yeah, it's from the rubbing. Very dark.

It's probably for most of the rubbing. Dude, there was no rubbing Jason. What? I didn't, there was nothing happen. He just got me to do certain things. It's just, no one says nothing happens so much when it's nothing happens. And like grinning the whole time.

Yeah, nothing happen. Mm hmm. Well, once you were a shirt says, ask me about my gay experience. Ha ha ha, ha. Didn't Jay Moore actually did that? What? He talked about that on Mike Kaltichow that he went to a steam room in LA because a lot

of these steam rooms like, uh, their gay steam rooms, the Russian ones are not. Well, Russian are. Russians aren't. The Russian ones isn't. Russians aren't gay. No, Russians aren't. No, Russians aren't gay. No, Russians aren't.

Tell it to Ukraine. Listen. They're secretly gay, I think. No, they hide it. They, the Russian, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, go to the gym. A sauna. I like the sauna. No, because the gym sauna is a gay in New York City. Anywhere you go to the sauna in a gym. It's all guys. I don't think a man's gonna without asking, unsolicited, start fanning your feet and put his dick in your face in a pole. He did not put a person. He did not put his dick in my face. He was going to unless you ducked. These are your words, Bobby.

How long did it last? It's the whole thing. Till he finished. No. There was a bunch of people in there. At the end, he had all of us lined up. And he was, he worked there. And he was just what he was trying to do was solicit, solicit business. He's funny. Yeah. He's giddy. He wanted, he was trying to say, hey, look, I work here. When you come here, you know,

when you go to the Russian steam, they'll give you a massage. Like the Russian guy's giving the massage and they beat you with the leaves. I don't know what they do. Oh yeah, I put into a Turkish massage. Same thing, same thing. I was very gay.

It's not the same thing apparently. It's not the same thing You let me into that and I did go to check this No, this was not gay. This was I rather get massaged by a guy I guess technically, but I 100% but I don't I don't want to suck you guys Dick and a cold bath. I did not suck a dick first of all my suck dick. I'm gonna do it in the sauna I'm not gonna do a cold dick all right. I like warm food Thank you very much. Now when you feel it when you feel anxious, but if you were in a cold pool And you got a guy hard and made him come when you feel like wow No, that came so much to come

That's how warm it awesome my mouth is That's a keeper. That's how warm and wet your sick mouth is Bobby This is just a ridiculous Jason. First of all, I did not. Chase. Yeah, because I have to talk them like that because he gets out of control. All right. Like you're talking to.

So I think you can talk until. No, I just, I like having us fits. Is it has very healthy for you. You go into a sauna. It's they did a study in Finland. Four to seven times a week, it's 65% less to get dementia, heart problems. It's one of the most healthy things you could do is sauna four to seven times a week for at least 20 minutes to 30 minutes. I heard you have to jump back and forth so sauna, cold water, sauna, cold water. That's what he was doing because I was just sitting in the sauna.

Blowjob in the middle. sauna, suckers, dig, get in. And then the end take drink the calm. No, I was there was no. I mean, do you really want to relax in that sauna? He was not it was it was probably went to relax at a Russian bathhouse and a man Acosta him and took him as he didn't take me nobody take it wasn't I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say I Tell you right it wasn't against your will you gave in to him. I did not give in I just did you submitted to his whims

He wanted to show me his Wanted to show me how to do it right This thing you said it. He wanted to show me how to do it right. Yeah. I'm kidding. No, no, I don't need you. Where's the winks? First of all, he wanted to show me

how you're supposed to do the sauna correctly. Yeah. Oh yeah. His way. So he was showing me like, this is what I do. If you wanted to come back and hire me, I would do this to you. Like he takes the towel and he fans your feet.

So it intensifies. You're trying to get the heat proteins to activate in your body. That's what heals you, right? It's fumbling around so much. I know, have you told your wife? Yeah, I told my wife as soon as I left. Oh, I bet you felt terrible.

I did feel terrible. You did, you have a family. It's not how you treated a family. I did. Well, he's my kid knows how to ride a bike. Oh, man, when I was married, at least I treated with chicks, dude. What are you going back to the sauna to meet your lovers?

Well, no, they have a Russian bath here, which I have been to, and it's awesome. And they have a, it's a co-ed place. You think, oh, do they traffic to you? A human traffic to you from Chicago up here, dude? I had one of those, I bought one of those sauna hats to those dumb cone hats and I had it on. I looked like a complete ass off.

I bet you did. Why do you have to wear a cone hat in a sauna? It's because I'm bald. It protects your head from the heat. That's why you're wearing it. But you want toxins to come out? They still come out, Jay. Yeah, out of his dick.

Out of his dick all over your chest to back. I mean, you swallow that. I bet I'm on knuckles. I do. I do. I bet on comfortable massage experiences. I did. I had one where she wouldn't stop rubbing my ass.

Like cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't stop. Yeah. It's like my attention is on my shoulder. Like she just went right past my body down to my butt. And I was like, this feels good, but I don't need like 45 minutes. I do. Is that my butt? I want to look up Christine. Can you give someone massage is your, it's the weirdest thing about massage, just like my ex-wife's mom did massage therapy. It's the worst. Yeah, not but like sports massage, but. Sure.

You got you, you got you, you got you. I'm sure Cox will pull that in front of her before. Did you get massages from her? I didn't like it, she was too raw, she was hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was hard and you were hard. Yeah, we were both hard. At least I did it with a stranger. You fucking pervert.

You're trying to get your back. But your story's better. I don't mind that. I fucked my ex mother-in-law. Now what? It means nothing. Yeah. No, but it would be things like my shoulder hurts.

And the same thing, it's like something on the reverse side, lower back, like loosens that. It's very weird, how it's going. So I was wondering if like, if you had a shoulder thing if she was doing like your upper ass yeah might have been like the place for that I don't know but I had to tell her like can we stop stop rubbing my ass I don't have tension in my ass is she gonna you a butthole no good but please I'm not everyone goes there for some kind of taudry fucking gay off.

Some people are just trying to get their shoulders to feel better. You know what Jay? You're an asshole. Don't fuck yourself. Just touch your butthole. Did she touch her butt? I asked it. It's not one of those places that you go to. You create... Very God.

First of all, You're a prestigious laying in stone tubs getting fingered by strangers and shit. Not karma, she's respectable lady. I mean, I go to the shitty places too, like the hole in the walls. They're like 60 bucks an hour. Yeah, really good. Christine does go to those. Yeah.

But you've never had a weird person. But I've heard a lot of like, girls that get misogies, not from guys, like girls touching their like vagina's a ton. And they'll get close though. They were you're like, whoa, where's she going and then they stop it's weird I had I did it in here I did a massage and then I looked down 20 minutes in I looked down and there was just guy feet in woman's flip flops and I looked up I was like what the fuck he goes we were busy he He just fucking put these girl flip flops

with little daisies on them. And I was like, I go, I do it. I need a check. He was like, okay, okay. He put on the girl flip flops. He just put on the girl flip flops. Harry feet. I just don't mind.

I'm like, what the fuck are those talons? Yeah. You know, it's funny. I say that I would rather have a male masseuse to like work things out, but in my ex's mom, it was like, I didn't do it often because, it was like, are you trying to touch my chest through my back? Like it hurts so much.

I love those, I actually love those massages. I had a guy massage, I lost finger feeling in my two fingers. Does thin little fingers? Do the, look how thin Bobby's fingers are. You know what I mean? They're like lady fingers. I know. You know what Jay, go like yourself. Okay, you fucking asshole. I know. You know what, Jay, go for this.

Oh, fuck, hey, you fucking asshole. I've been a Russian guy. I can really enjoy one of those up his old, rusty ass hole. Yeah. You ever see his little- Hey, which fits so nicely. You ever see his little grower, not a shower?

Okay. Christine, to tell me my face wants to have a grower, not a shower. That's not good girl, friend. Yeah. What's a grower, not a show for your thing? That means right now if you gave him a million dollars to pull his pants out he'd have to say no. No I do it but then you'd also say oh Jay Christine's right you're a grower not a show.

Mushroom dick. We had a trans girl in here last week who pulled out a small weiner but then proceeded to whack it off in front of all of us for a while. That was strange. Yeah. How awkward is that? Do you just watch? She can't get it out of your head all weekend. So much so you gotta go have a good experience at a bathhouse.

Yeah. I was having pancakes some day and I was just like thinking it was a god, just her yank and her dick out. She really was darning it out. Was that her goal to come in or was that like spontaneous? No, so we had for it's pride month. So we had a beautiful adult film star trans girl, yeah, MROs come in. Yeah. And we knew when she walked in, gorgeous face you show a car. Jim Norton was supposed to come in. We were doing it for Jim Norton

and we're doing a very artistic way. We were going to sketch her. But right, she was here with us. It was here. We sketched three minute sketches, charcoal drawings. Is she in the green dress? I have the worst vision. No, she's the one on the beret next to her. Oh, to her to her to her left.

Yeah. She looks. Everybody that's me. Looks attractive. Jay was saying that's me, by the way, because this is a radio show. Oh, damn, you're trying to gain so much favor with Jim right now. I was just describing the photo, Jim. You are describing the photo.

This is often less, yeah, in the green dress. She, we all knew, and still, even after talking to her for a while, she was very sweet. When she took the dress off, still, something about my mind was just like, oh wow, I wasn't expecting it still, even though I knew already she had a penis. And it was a small soft and like kind of dangly. And then we started drawing and she started just

unsolicited also, tugging her weiner, but really giving it a good tug until it got like, professional tug. She got like a little boner. And then it kind of just slowly went down again. Yeah, I love that penis. Yeah. Is she gonna keep it or is she? Yeah, surgery. She got her balls taken out. She's not a party pooper. Yeah, we're balls are gone. She's still, but she still shoots load.

Interesting. How? I don't know. It just, it must look bigger. So she got the balls from her. Well, you know, your nuts aren't low. It's not full, you're nuts aren't full of load. Here it isn't load kind of distributed in the nuts. It comes out of it.

Yeah, but it's not, you're not, you can have your, you can be castrated to where you can have kids, you know, it's like a, well, the sector. The sector, yeah, you can still shoot a load, it's like a... Well, the sector. The sector, yeah, you can still shoot a load. You do still shoot a load of the sector. Yeah. I don't know if removing the balls themselves.

Yeah, that was a mistake on her part. Getting rid of the balls leaving the pecker. Sure. Why? Would you have been happier if there was balls there? Yeah, just droopy got, just droopy little professor nuts. Yeah, I would have loved to draw balls. I was pretty serious. Sorry guys, I have really saggy balls.

I guess that would have changed things. I got you guys have to draw these two pages. It would have got to do show where the pictures at least I mean, show where our trend is artwork, at least if you're going to show you took pictures of her doing that. But we drew and we drew her and Jay. You see we're all dressed like artists up there. We have braze on and our scarves. You didn't describe that, I'd be.

We're gonna get my glasses. We have, we look like, we look like we're comics from the Netherlands. We're looking three stuages, but we're all curlies. Yeah, we're the three different curlies. That's so funny. That's not fair that alies. That's so funny. That's not fair that a trance can look so beautiful.

Why? What do you want to look like, my uncle? Because it's like, they just, I don't know, they just look good. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah. She was very beautiful and very friendly. Really nice, very nice disposition. Really got in the bobby's head.

The part where she pulls her take out. And it started tugging on it. Not my type. No? really got in the Bobby's head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I need a guy that wrestled bears when he was a child. So did she just finish and then you continued with the show? What do you mean finished? No, no, we come. No, no, no, no. She was only whacking it off like she wanted it to be hard. It was not a sexual thing at all. Oh. It was an artist thing.

She came in and we did a whole art thing. It was on a, it was no sex. It wasn't talking about that stuff for now. But we did it for Jim. Like we're gonna have a big thing for Jim and it's gay pride month and let's have some bisexual person in and let's have a trans person in. Let's have some fun.

That would be weird if like to promote something you had to do something sexual. Like I'm here to promote my special and I'm like, I have to pull my pants down. You have to let Jay give you a full body to ask us on. All right, Carmen, Now we did promote your special So now it's time to cake fart for us

That's what they use to do On cake and for the opian Anthony. Yeah come on your cake for it. You should promote your cupcake place You just gonna shit on a hat I think it's illegal now. Yeah All right, but you know that's her that's Jay's drawing. How great is Jay? That's good. All right, but you know, that's her. That's Jay's drawing. How great is Jay? Jay, that's good. Jay's then.

I made her an angel. Yeah. There, there, I mean Jay is. That me also. That's another one, yeah. Yeah, I mean, she has like a prosthetic foot in that one. But look at the bun, the little bow in the back. And he gave, that chair doesn't in the room.

That's out of his mind. Oh, but she was on that chair. Yeah. She did you wipe it? Did you clean it? I made, no, she wasn't in that chair actually, but she was in that position of chair. He took his creative license and made it a more comfortable

chair and a more aesthetically pleasing chair. He didn't hurt her a little. Truth be told, I made her body a little wide and then I had like cheat some things out and back and so I go if you can go back to the thing. Why did you have to make her body wider? No, no, I made it too wide.

Oh, oh, so good. And so I didn't want it to be so wide. So that's when I, there we go. So like, he made, he made an Archie bunker chair. Yeah, I made an Archie bunker chair. Oh, yeah, that's good. Really? That's very artsy.

And then her little pecker coming out of the back there. Yeah. I don't know what I thought that was. I spy with my little eye. Birds were a little more abstract. Yeah, birds took some liberties. You took a little liberties, birds drawings. Have birds on the game.

Let's point yours up. Bobby, you could go to mine if you want. Bobby, I want to see yours. Hella an artist. Well, is yours like a stick figure. No, but that's quite an ass. Yeah, that's her butt. But if you zoom in on the penis, I drew Jim Norton.

Oh, He's enjoying himself. I put a little gym know because he wasn't there. So I put him there and then I plug my website. Just like my Instagram. And that's my I put him in there too. Oh Yeah, that's the other one that did that happen. That's the bathhouse where you were

Me and my Russian friend I can see through I can see the future you didn't say he was an alien Again, that's Jim Norton Getting ready to get and then there's that's that was the first one. Yeah, it's got toorton. Jim Norton getting ready to get. And then there's, that's, that was the first one. Yeah, it's got to be nice to have both though. Don't you think? What do you mean? Like boobs and a penis?

I think I'm a boob or a penis and a vagina. No, but I mean, yeah. Why would that would be so difficult? That would be confusing. I can't even. Plug it in yourself like a gas when you put a gas thing away. I can't even decide what salad dressing I want. Never mind what I'm going to do, which one I'm gonna ping.

Well, if you're out and about looking for ladies, you can use your penis, and then when you go to the bath house, you can let these guys fuck your pussy. I'm setting my butt so it's not gay. Set your butt, set them fanning your feet until you gap. That sounds like a fanning your feet sounds a little like. Look, can you fake? Can you try to get it going?

Can you look it up? Fanning, the guy's fanning with a towel oh you'll find it hang on I'm telling you right now Lou I can't listen to gay song hey everyone dog pile dudes I should have shut my mouth how many big

russkes could fit inside of this guy? Me me in the sauna and cold dip The bald queen is back I Didn't do anything gay it was a good time good time. Oh experience was gay. It was it's not gay Yeah, no guy charging toward you when a cold pool with his cock and balls to your face I wasn't doing it right Jay. Yeah, he's charging toward you when a cold pool with his cock and balls to your face. I wasn't doing it right Jay Yeah, trying to help sure there's so many people in there. Were they getting the same experience?

Well, I I wound up all these all these guys were in there like two guys I was with Yes, thank you And the other two guys that were just there was somebody guys. Did you know did you go with guys? I went with two other guys Guys went to a bathhouse together. Yeah, you have to bring guys in like you in like studio 54 It's not a bad thing. Bobby in there. He's too old. You gotta bring us some boys Christine just brought up gay porn The Bobby's coming in a second. This doesn't just look at it's a steam room

It's just I wasn't in a steam room. I was in a sauna in a song Oh go to the sauna. I was in a right. Go to the sauna cam. That's not me. That's a that's a gay guy That's a gay young student. Okay, so I see the guy is fan here feet now. That's not oh god I don't want to watch this Memory is not memories. This is terrible. Can you get this off the screen? Why? You want to remember the way you remember it? Oh, you're right. What happened when he did that? She did. I hate when guys suck each other's nipples.

I've never seen it until this moment. I don't like that. I don't like it. This is the first time I've ever seen it in my entire 45 years of living That's the first time I've seen you guys so and I've watched a lot of pieces of gay porn for humor. Yeah, Jay. You know what me too There we go Oh, here it is. I lizard. Yeah, we're talking accidental touch Bob, you look great though. Listen. This is not first of all There you are. This is not me You're a beard. Yeah, it is blue Is this make your feet feel better? I didn't grow a beard. I live with one

Is this make feet feel good? Listen now get them cold pool. Oh, yeah. Oh god Christine, I'm a don't be homophobic. It's beautiful. I'm not You are a Homophobic. It's beautiful. I'm not Beautiful. I'm not dude. I just don't I don't want to see you got your finally making a move I don't even think dawns have said about this First of all never happen That this is not one of my watching them. This is a porno That's the guy who opened for you. That's not him

Andy Toddson whatever his name was Eric Toddson Eric's name is Eric's name. You guys beat beat each other off. Oh my gosh look at you go I don't like the fact that you got a guy that kind of looks like my beard And that kind of looks like the kid Eric You want to see my favorite thing in the world DJ Lou look at it DJ Lou look at it hard I know you're gay get away from me. Gayscess, this is Father Sun. This is terrible.

Yeah, it's gay incest. Alright, please, come on. I don't want to watch this. It's a couple days after. This room's not going to put together words. Gayscess is gay incest. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Christine, get it off.

That's a dad. Christine, get it off. Christine, I don't want to see this part. Happy. Why am I staring at you? Why are you so uncomfortable? I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't want That's his dad. He's gonna get it off. Chris, you know, I don't want to see this part. Happy. Why? I'm staring at you. Why are you so uncomfortable? I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't want to see it. Come on!

I don't want to see a dad. This is terrible. You're overselling. It's just an actor. You're overselling it, but I'm sorry. Come on. You love it. It's too much. You got it.

I hate it, Christine. Just fucking favorite. It's sending it to me. I mean, it's so much at later alone. This is nuts, man. Is it weird that I think at the weirdest part of these sucking his son's cock and jerking himself up at the same time? What do you want to do? And his son is going tady.

I've never wacked off while eating bussy, same time. This is nuts, will you? You're special as well? My special is about this. It's called Gata. It's in the West Village. Oh, this is so happy. Oh my god.

I forgot, we have to go back from cold pool to sauna. So yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. You can't have sex in a cold pool, by the way. That's disgusting. No, that's why that guy's dictating, look at you. You get him over to the sauna. A sauna penis looks way better than a cold plunge penis.

How clean are those cold pools? Well they filter them so okay there's a filtered pool. You're not just going into a stagnant thing a water the bunch of Russian guys would precum. You wipe your precum on your dick? All right you know we got to actually take a quick break so we'll be right back everybody this is the bonfire. And we're back with the bonfire serious XM. That should talk probably talked about this on Wednesday show. I gotta get a sip of water here.

But so do this weekend. They got to talk to them into the cold dip at the stadium we were at. They did? Yeah. And when he went down, he went down underneath fast. Now, Bert went in first, Tammy Pescatelli, and then Tiffany Hattish. All went in. Tammy went in? Yeah. And then, Dan, when he was his turn to go in after that, he went

down underneath, like Bert told him to. And when he came up, city swallowed a lot of that water. Ugh. It weirded him out for the rest of the day. Ugh. That's nasty. That's disgusting.

Why? Cause for the cold dip. Huh? What is the cold dip? Cold dip is up. Ice bath. Ice bath. Yeah, you just like.

The plunge, right? The cold water plant. Yeah, 37 degrees or something like that. It's crazy. It's so good for you though. You did three guys, did three minutes? So did it three. I didn't do it this time.

I did three minutes when I did it. I did 20 seconds. I did 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds. Really? And then 30 seconds. Dude, it was so cool. And I was coming from heat. I'm not good at it, but.

But doesn't it feel good after when you're done? Well, say the first time I did it, I did that those three minutes and it was an exhilarating day all around. But even people who did it last year who were doing it for the first time, again the DJ Carter Cruz is on the tour, she did it again, Tammy, they both came out

and were like, they did not enjoy the rest of the day. It was actually a hard time getting comfortable again and warm, yeah, they didn't like it this time. I've had both where it's the best day of my life and then another day where I'm like, I can't not be cold. Like, I need soup all day. It's weird. How's it gonna do it?

Whenever I'm at a nice hotel, I just get a bunch of ice and I dump it in the, like I was just Vegas. You make it? Yeah, I don't have one. But I was just a Brad Gareth club and they give you like a really nice tub. Tub, yeah. And there's like a ice machine down the hall and I did it all week and it was

ridiculous. It was so good. How long would you stand for? Like two minutes. I can't do anymore or I'll get up and then go back. 30 seconds and I'll get out. And I don't know. This one was brutal. It makes your feet hurt. I'm gonna buy one. Like while you're in it, like having hurts. Yeah, you my feet hurt and the guy when you came in he was Is rubbing my feet Hey, you just had you just realize that you opened a door you walking open I had to take log of what you're oh here you are Showing the father and son yeah, I the guy with the same gray beard I have.

You were sucking off your son. I was, don't say that. Come on, Max. He's a boy, man. He's a boy, man. I'm living a fantasy, bro. I'm my road, son. Don't say that.

Don't say that. The one you call your boy, you guys travel as daddy and boy, the comedy duo. Oh, no. Not your actual son. That be incess this is gay He was right he was I told him my feet hurt because when I Jacob stop Go on your feet hurt. He told me I told him my feet hurt when I go to the ice bath There my feet were really hurting. Yeah, and he was he didn't say that he said it's the circulation

So he was good to blood flowing. So when he brought me back into the sun, this is terrible. I'm out. I'm out. That's too late, dude. When he brought me back into the sauna, when we went back, when we went back,

there's no way to say this. Yeah, you sit on his lap. Then we went on a date. When we went back into the sauna together. You guys were slowly, did you, as these guys, did you slowly reach over and undo each other's tails a little bit.

I had shorts on. You feel the hangout. You've had so many gay experiences. I had so, you're getting right. I had, I'm not gonna fight that one. I had shorts on. So I had swim trunks on. But he said that the defeat hurt because of the circulation.

That's why you have to, when you went into the sauna, he's like the heat on the bottom of your feet. When you're heating that up, going back and forth, gets that circulation going in your sciatic and all that and we'll heal that. It will make that feel better. And by the third time in the cold plunge, the pain in my feet went away.

Isn't it? Do you guys have really bad foot pain? I have the worst. I've had planners, a fasciitis, which sucks. I got it right now, dude. It's the worst. But they will do. You have to go get roped. What's that?

That's when a guy from Russia is steaming back. No, flushing you down. This is feeling better without all the gay stuff on the frozen. Bring up a rulfing thing. Rulfing is massage, but it's almost like I was describing with my ex-mother-in-law where they go to the, what do you call that, the connective tissue, but like the... Ligaments.

They just tendons? No, they break up the fascia. Oh, do you have left feet? Maybe, I don't know, but I know that the plantas fascia is when I've had it, it sucks. Do you use those things? I use those, they like tight, I'm wearing them now, if you wanna see my foot.

Yeah. They help a lot. What is it? What is it do? It's like squeezes this part of your foot and it like, it's got copper in it and it really helps. Yeah.

I feel like I'm doing a commercial. Yeah. I made swear. It's okay, Bobby's a spokesman for Pillow Cube. It's, I'm not, yeah, I'm having a picture. Have your Russian lover's okay. Bobby's a spokesman for bill of you. It's I'm not. Yeah. Have your Russian lover put some on me. I'm Max. Oh, I don't want you to lose your pitch. Bobby. I don't want you to lose your gig. Hey, Pillow cube. Bobby did do anything gay in that club at all. Hi. Hey guys, Bobby wasn't

involved in in daddy, son, fantasy, blow jobs inside of a sauna. I'm going to buy you the edge therapy. What's that? That's a portable. They whack you off till you just bet the common. Do you have a balcony? No. Okay, you can't get it. It's a portable ice bath. You can, it's like a, you blow it up, but it's really strong, you know, really. Yes, but it's also like, it's a, that's, those are the ones that are like cylinders though, right? You have to really dunk in. No, you, they have an XL one for guys like us. You can get in it and it has a filter. He has a, you did

say, uh, switch was cool. I thought I said, I threw it, but you know, you're in the little one now, and you feel good about it. Women, but it, man, but it has a filter, but it's a hot tub and a cold bath. You can switch it up, and it shoots ice water in, and then filters it back out, so it's always clean, has a lid on it, a little expensive, but you can take it wherever you go. Like if you went away for like a couple weeks

until you guys go away to the flame, you can take it with you, and then jump in it. I'm getting into this, because I have the sauna in my room, my bedroom. I bought a personal sauna. No, he's a Russian guy. I brought him home. It's a one person sauna. Max, move over.

Sergei's staying over tonight. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. I already saw it. Thank God. Two times one week. Oh my God God two times one week Look at this huh is a takeover

School bonfire takeover We're back merc phase Andy and Daniel so back remember us from 2015 We weren't allowed to cuss so fuck shit piss How's drinking that ice bath water? You still feeling all right? I literally thought I was gonna die. I was coughing for a day being like, I think it's in my lungs. Yeah, Tammy Pasquatelli, Botox, and you lunged.

I had a, I had Bert plug. He was like, he plugged a grape soda by pulling it out of his, in between his legs. Yeah. I drank that water. Oh. And you know know what after I got that check it was yummy yummy After burger I'll drink more your bath water sir What else mr. Bird who else mr. Bird I think my shirt off like you

You take a shirt off no hell no On the did you go on the tub? No, you asked about that did but if you watch the cliff they feel you from behind I I take off the shirt the cliff Before they can start filming I take off my shirt and jump into the ice bath really You don't want your torso being seen no you're not seeing my toddler torso Big belly no muscles I feel bad we treated on Carmen. No, no muscles. I feel bad. We didn't treat it on Carmen. No, no, we were just talking about you.

We're talking about his experience. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no What's up with you in Russian bad? Yes, because Bobby are you in new him now? Not as he into it. He's into guys taking care of I mean no, this is it, the first of all, you are not ganging up on me, old bonfire here. It's not letting, we brought fire on fire. Andy and I rode in to set you up. This is not happening.

I'm gonna get out. Do you know how uninteresting it's been all these years of Dan not having gay sex in a rush of math? I'm sorry, that straight one on one, heterosexual sex. Hey, when you put it that way. Dan's on the the chicken that is

mooring. Oh, let me just, you like peanut butter and jelly too. What a boring guy. Jay, when you put it that way, let's talk. Yeah. Damn, do you,

do you love just a big Russian guy? Shut your fag. Don't do it. Touching you. Japanese Russian. Don't do the accent. I will kill it. If you do the impression. What is a Japanese Russian? No, it's one of the Husky Russia's oh really

Mountain Siberian I haven't even a year you're a You're a man like you feel hit much more bulky year ago Let me give you a scenario so you can do it right then I'll give you the full snuggers I've been over here banging out Russian accent. Oh my god damn. Oh my six Oh, it's top gun sure six fast fuck that's an awesome I fucking believe it we all have call signs Jacob's Fitbit how great is that one?

He hates it, but it's the best. What's yours? 68. I'm 68. 86. Yeah, 68. My new teeth. He's 68 because he's got some minus.

What's yours? Merck face. Yeah, Merck face. Christine's Chordle. I like the Chordle's good. Chantix. Chantix's Gourmet. We give it a farm in one.

Black glue is blue. Blue. Good. Black glue. Dude, it's about that way. Let's give each other a call sign. What about Dan? Black blue black blue blue Blue Dude it's about that way Let's give each other a call sign What about Dan, Dan? Maybe vanilla Well Bobby had to come in and really like

Stake is clean in this place So he gave us all call signs and made shirts for it Listen dude, I don't do voices that well but I'm learning Dude I can't tell you something that you've already Just swamped me on Those headphones are sick Dude I came I came out how to do a couple I had a I had a peacock a little different way You guys have such second wife energy where you're all hotter and you just fuck more well

We're actually walking together now working out. We were high school sweetheart's Carmen So all we did was just fuck mission area and then talk about people we knew that died Well, it's too mad hanging out talking gay bathhouse experience. It's not gay. That never gets old. It's so interesting. It's way as you ever been to a Russian bathhouse? Oh, a Turkish bathhouse.

Yeah, they were very like, just, they ripped it all off. I went with on a military tour. Becky Owen was almost in there. It was me and, I'm from Turkey. Oh, in Turkey. Oh, yeah. Not like he's village. Becky Owen changed his time, his appointment time, were vecky on was almost in there it was me and and turkey and turkey vecky on like he's villager

vecky on changed his time his appointment time or he would have been in there he would have seen a naked he would have seen a snake it was a you know you would know totally wow they rip it all off and they really do they take the clothes off of you I think they there be a point where I'm like you are sitting there

but how they and I was in their co-ed day, and they brought this beautiful blonde in, and the Russians guys were hitting with the leaves, and they were hitting us so hard, her bikini top came off, and then she was just topless. What kind of sexy mistake is that? I don't know, but I'm gonna get you to go like, ooh, sorry, my big beautiful boobs just popped out of my bikini.

So, if you try the force naked on me and about, I look like a carry, the beginning of carry. Yeah. I'd be coming like, my tipsy dick would be crying while they thought they were tampons. I would be, I would be, I would be, I would be, I would be, I would be, I would be, I would be full on grocery store temper tantrum

out of a three year old. Yeah. They'd be dragging me down as I held my pants on. No way, dude. I'd probably slip to and make an ass out of myself. When you got buck naked, were you like? First of all, Dan, I was not buck, I had swimming trunks on.

He was had a towel with nothing on them in it. Wait, the guy was- We have some video from it actually. Oh yeah, it's really good. This is, wait, stop. It's so good. There it is. Oh, it's still good.

They're showing the video of the old civil fox going down on the twig. Oh my God. This is not- Oh my God. This is not real. For a second, I thought that was me If any old man touch my'd fucking me him in the head the other video there was

Bobby Bobby goes from room to room to room the bath the bath of him you grab him around the way he did He just turned it off he told me he told me he told me he just was like you know tell me how to do the bath I was doing it wrong. I was in the sauna just sitting he was like no you have to come and he Kiss me was supposed to kiss not it. Not just not a good blood going. No, we didn't kiss. Andy, it makes it easier to watch if you hold my hand. Hold my hand. No, hold my hand.

It's easier to watch. Andy, if you're red, skin on skin while you watch two men blow each other. Jay, do you press my flesh? Jay's hands are so subtly soft. All right, it looks like Ryan. Jay's hands are so tender. Looks like Ryan Hamilton and Colin

Yeah, it's just Bobby's like, I don't know you get about not making blow in the sauna. I didn't blow Daniel I was doing Kex really brings everybody together. I did suck. I did suck Colin up in Iraq. Happy pride everybody. Kex actually brought this room together. Look how happy you are now that you've done that. Oh, what? Damn, I'm gonna tell you. Gasek's actually brought this room to go. Look how happy you are now that you've done that. Oh, what?

Damn, Dan, I'm gonna tell you. Ever since you got ravaged by that Russian man. You got negative for him. I'm gonna tell you why he definitely had Gasek this week goes because he came in. This is the pre-record. You know, it's turning the time line. Yeah, it's turning the time line this is on there.

And Dan, oh, Jesus. Wow, we're not going to both together. Oh, man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I ain't gonna. Wow I did that to hold my hand handy Put the game board back off put it on I like George Scott hardcore turn it off So Carving you in the way once. This is terrible. Carving put her glasses on for it. We had carminers like excuse me.

Carmin is taking the, do you have to, you have to do that? Both at the same time. This is the best promotion for my comedy taping that I've been to. Which is happening to who's day nine? Tuesday night. 10th. It's Monday. Monday June 26th. Tuesday night will all 10th it's Monday Monday June 26th That was crazy wrong. Oh, you know what? I'm reading the You attend this over yeah, then over what's that was the day you met that guy

That was you in Surgeys But that's your that's your other things. Six 10 for six that dance soda. Of course, you can catch up out and about not doing radio. And if you're a calm and if you're on all social media and Carmen again taping her special this coming Monday June 26th at 8 and 10 PM at the Comedy Sower New York City for tickets go to Carmen Lynch.com. She's absolutely hilarious follow her on Instagram and

TikTok at Carmen comedian and also the human centipop with carman lynch and john renoldes every Tuesday at ten a.m. and six p.m. eastern on she's so funny or you can listen when you want on the serious xm app search she's so funny the human centipop common good luck and thank you thank you guys make sure you check out big j comedy is new special And kill box a Bobby yeah, and I'll be going also What I just got to do it. I'm in the room baby. What is it? Trying to give me a comedy.com fully loaded Kelly live rubber Kelly live com rubber Kelly loves a com dance

Out of doctor Stanford Connecticut. i'll be at new year dance back everybody and you're the rest of the week what's up jayka be your thoughts what's the dog billion it's entirely tonight on raw dog at ten p.m. you can see the whole time jayton's for the jayton's all time he was

working off of camera to help you uh... we talk a little little daytime evil today too. Oh my god. And then Bobby went on to say nothing sucks more than doing comedy while the sun's still at, which I'm going to have to do a lot this summer. I did it a lot. This week.

Dan, thank you so much. Andy, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Congratulations. Good luck. I'm going to send you a comment. Thank you. And we'll catch you guys next week, right here.

On the bottom part. We'll go. I knew this diamond tonight on the plane. I can see the red to your eyes. Heaven is spying me. You know, oh, I can see Daniel waving goodbye. God it looks like Daniel. Must be the clouds in my eyes.

Dude, falling into the tracks has been a nightmare of mine since I moved to New York City. And this lady, she's tumble- She's tumble-sauces into the fucking tracks. Christine, is there a video of somebody being alive because they're- the trains twisted them up? Oh no, that's the old- that's the old fable about being stuck if they move the train or your gut spill out? That's something that's a fable, dude. I think it's real.

First of all, fables have animals and morals. Well, I'm a real animal if you would be a fable. First, stuck in the treasurer. It's a fable. Oh, about the talking vulture who got wrapped up in the train station. Call it what you will. It's false.

Because he wouldn't listen to sage advice as the moral was. Maybe if someone listened to a wise owl, they would be stuck in between a train and a fucking platform. Can somebody get my family before they move this train of my guts bill out? Well, looks as if the sixth train is cutly in between and a platform and a train. You might tell me it's the only thing

holds to my organs inside. I gotta get back to the cherry pie forest. Train all my guts will fall. A feeble about talking animal was held together by the train. Can you give my kids a little tell my love and one more time before I go to that peppermint forest in the sky. Well, hey, it's me. Okay, yeah.

It's your last beer. They told me if I survive, I'll have extreme nerve damage. No one wants a quadriplegic beer. I guess I'll just die. I'm ready, Chuch chew, man. Hold the train. Hi, everyone. Remember to be good to everyone. Don't be the big one. I can feel it spilling out of me. The pain is that leaving me.

I see it's dark. Get these livers, one, heart. Goodbye. Oh, papa, is that you? I'm sorry, papa that you So are you gotta watch my lights go off? Oh, I'm so mulled. And you're your star. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show.

If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo! I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink.