The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Save Yourself (feat. Ali Siddiq)

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

While Jacob is underwater in Florida, the guys catch up with one of their favorites, the great Ali Siddiq.

I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on... What is the SXM? Yeah, Series XM. You can say Series XM. Thank you very much.

For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the SMX app. Say Series XM. Say Series XM. You can listen on the series XM app. Go to seriesXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Nah, we're back.

Everybody, it's Robert Kelly. It's Robert Kelly big J. Ogerson It's the bonfire. Louis G tried to text us that mob deeps in the fishbowl and he spelled it wrong I know I did, but it was an emergency. They were there and fun. All right Two bees and mob okay, okay, yeah What's up? All right home boy? Okay, fuck yeah, all right home boy. All right home boy. I will listen to the cure Bobby But I gotta be honest with you. I'm sick. I'm going good then I don't have to go If I if you're not going if your tickets don't come through for tonight. How is this happening? If it doesn't come through You are taking my family. I am taking an Uber home. I'm gonna go hang with Christine

It says they're gonna Christine, look go to kids, get a mutton chop. What do you say? Bobby, I want to see the carer. I'll go with Don. I'm going to go for her. I don't give a shit about the cure. I don't care about the cure. I'm going to the care because you forced me. You bullied me and going. That's not what happened at all. You pushed the button. That's actually not at all the truth. You said three push the button. You push three. I pushed to you push three.

We're gonna have fun. But then yes, I said you grab the back of my neck and you pinched it hard. I went, and you went, and I went, that's I learned that from Big Jim dude. Never you walked me upstairs by my neck. Yeah, Big Jim, when you didn't have the description. Yeah, he really put the screws to me.

Sirius S. Mius SM fraction talk. What? I'm kidding. Come on. Let's go, son. Come on. It's big J and not Dan. Welcome back to Faction Talk.

103 serious XM. The weather is rock and it's beautiful. Indoor outdoor concert wherever you are tonight. Don't worry, those fires are gone. We are breathing the air tonight. It is a Tuesday night, the cure playing it a lot of swear guard. I am don't want to go Christine, see if you can go on a stop find stub hub, customer service.

JK find a ticket. This is the order number I'll give you the order number and all that shit. You didn't get your tickets. I got the tickets the day they came in. Really? Yeah, you go, you get, it comes in an email and it says your tickets are available then you click the link. I know, I've done all these things.

And then you go to ticket master app. You have to get the ticket master. Well, in stub hub right now. And then you open it up and take it master. I've got three tickets. JKF is in Florida on zoom. Hi, Jakey How you doing? Jake honey Jacob honey Jacob cookie. What's up?

I can't hear him He's done. I can't you go. What's up, buddy? There you go, what's up buddy? Five YouTube down so I can talk. Oh, he has turned something down. So Jacob can talk. Hmm, poor. Luzi eating. I don't know what he's talking about.

Luzi's having turkey. Luzi eating a half a turkey sandwich right here. Jacob, that's not an MP, that's all YP. You have control of the board. All right, your office highs you can go. Is there a microphone that might be not always plugged in or something? Ooh, this is shows getting off to a rocky start.

Hey Jacob, are your parents in bad health? Because you visit them more than anyone visits their parents. Why did Jacob go to Florida a lot? What? This is as third vacation as you've been here. No sir. Really? Easy.

Easy third time Jacob's been gone since you've been here. Is that a Really? Easy. Easy third time Jacob's been gone. Did you been here? Is that a big shit? Makes me happy. I love it makes you happy Jacob. You do what you're going to do. Yeah, Jacob wants to live down there and do the show remote. He doesn't care if he ever sees us again. He wants to be he hates the he hates the studio temperature. He wants it really? You don't know. Yeah, it's actually nice. You got to make it warmer in here. It's fucking freezing in

here. You're actually lower the lights it warmer in here. It's fucking freezing in here. It's actually lower the lights a little bit here. It's a bit bright if I'm being honest. I'm lost without Jacob. You like it, dark day? That's a little, I mean, there you go. How's that? Little more dark in here?

Yeah, there you go. Welcome back, buddy. Thank you. Are you really, are you excited about this concert tonight? No. No. I'm excited for the hang, I'll be fun though. What's the hang Christine might enjoy yourself. Okay. I might dose her with mushrooms You know I'm gonna be with my wife in my 10-year-old. Yeah, like seven rows behind you. Yeah. What do you worry that Christine's gonna be the alligator titsuck by max? Her nips are on high noon today Those things are out look over and done and Christine have alligator tits sucked by Max. I hope so. Her nips are on high noon today.

Those things are out. Look over and done and Christine have their tits out. That chubby mask guy on stage. She does make her. He throws up because he hates tits. He looks like what the Joker should look like. Robert Smith. He looks like the Joker and the Penguin.

He looks like all the Batman evil villains together. It's yeah, he's an unattractive man for sure. Yeah. No one's going for that. Everybody's going there to like hold their own elbow and like, set, stop dance. Okay, you know why this concert's not gonna be my thing? It's a swaying.

Look what she's doing right now. Look, Christine's swaying. It's a swaying concert. It's a, it's a b in little boppy dance and a sway I'd one song maybe now you're gonna find swaying. We're all gonna sway and bop and like stupid. I don't do if I I smoke weed I would like to sway and bop. Oh, we'll be smoking weed. Yeah, I'm not smoking weed All right, fine. So just me max Josh and just you know guys. I'm gonna have a lot pussy I'm gonna take it relax. Don't I'll get nice for this not a pussy. I'm ready to party

I don't that sucks. Don's dying to party. She slowly creep it in. Oh good. Yeah, it's take her man I know you slowly she is slowly becoming she's getting what like you guys she's getting wow She's getting loose. Oh, no all excited about how much the tickets cost. She was like, who cares? We're going to see the cure, baby. I'm going to go outside after showing Don's going to be out there. What are you doing here? I'm going to dinner with Christine and Jay. What? Yeah. Max is like, Dad, you're taking me bowling. What? What's happening? Yeah. She's going to hang with the gang. Oh God. We're going to go see the flesh on shrooms. I saw it. Boo. Good. Now it's not good DC. Come on, this cameo's one exciting though.

I'll tell you the only, can I spoil all art? I've looked at all of them so I don't care. Okay, spoil all art if you haven't seen the flash. Your, it means two things. This is a bunch of cameos. You haven't seen it or you're a grown man. Yeah, you're a moron if you care enough to turn away to not know the cameos.

If you haven't seen the flash this weekend, that means you have a life and you're an adult male alpha male. It's the flash from the TV show the flash right. It's the flash DC from the the movies and I'm saying the cameos one of them is the flash from the TV show I believe they have a lot of cameos they have a lot of yeah he he was in there. The great is he was it he was He's the greatest he was it. He was the guy with the he had the stupid hoodie. He had his um he had like a metal hat with wings.

Yeah, I might have missed it. Okay, but the greatest cameo in it was Nicholas Cage as long here. Oh Superman. Oh, fighting the giant uh wrote the giant spider. That is the Superman that never went. Yeah, great documentary about that. Ugly Superman is the best cameo in it. Ugly Superman.

Is that another Superman? Yeah, Nicholas Cage is Superman. That's ugly Superman. Is it for the cool with long hair? It's cool, but he's ugly. I mean, Superman is the, he's beautiful. Historically, Superman is the best looking guy in the room. Nicholas K. Never thought George Reaves was good looking.

Well, I mean, you're going back to a barrel chest and type of man, but even his face. He just looked like a abusive husband really. Yeah, but that was a good look back then. That was good looking back then. The barrel body with a hit a woman. Keep her in line. Straightener. Shit out. Yeah, barrel chest. I, uh, yeah yeah dude, he's a, Nicholas Cage was great. That was that because that movie, that documentary is great,

but that movie, I wish I hope they make that movie now. Nicholas Cage is long haired ugly Superman would be great. Yeah, there's all the screen test pictures of it. Yeah. From what I've shown. But that was this big thing, I guess the guy's idea was to have him fight like a giant spider. So that's what he's doing. But that was this big thing I guess the guy's idea was to

Have him fight like a giant spider. So that's what he's doing in this. Yep. Is it just like a second though? It's just like he's like running through things they just show it for a second It's just like a fun one-off scene or is it any involvement just one-off scene? Yeah, they do a lot of those But here's the problem with this movie right? My cool Keaton gets involved though. My cool Keaton is involved. He's great He's having it. He's great. He's heavy in it. He's great. But the problem with the movie and they did this the last time CGI. They CGI people's faces.

Even the flash instead of just having him do a green screen or you know, double it up because he's playing, he's in the same scene with himself. They have a one is CGI and the other one's the real one. The CGI is bad. It's so fucking very dated CGI looking. I don't understand it. It's terrible.

Like the room where you can tell they're not. They use it with Batman, uh, Ben Affleck, right? He's in it. I don't think I'll tell you to say it. Ben Affleck. There you go. What? Ben Affleck. I hate your judgment you go. You know what? I have an afloch. Ben a fleck.

I hate your judgmental tone. You've son of a bitch. You are really just a... Bobby, I'm sorry. I already lost one partner to this. I was caught. You'll be your partner. I used to correct them a lot.

It may have added to something and I'm dumb. You didn't bother me. You're as dumb as me. Absolutely. As dumb as not dumb or the new. In other things Just the things that I know I'm real conti about correcting you Beneflect no, Ben Affleck

Which one now? Knack it now I'm gonna fuck up the read today. I have flack now the read done the read's already gone the reads gun Now me. I'm staring at the floor But always the deeks gonna be in here, and he's cool as shit. And you're gonna feel like a fool if you can't read. I won't read. He learned how to read in the joint. In the joint. I was in the joint.

You guys told joint stories. I was in the kid joint. Yeah, I bet it was different. Yeah, 100%. Although I do believe we've had and talked about his jail time before, Ollie. Mexican gun on boots. Yeah, yeah, remember that He's about to die. Did he say he was in a lot of fights though? I don't think he said he was in a lot

I think he said he managed to not be in a lot of fights. Yeah, how do you do that? So he two ways to do that and jail It was probably funny which probably can help you if you're there's three. Sorry, there's three ways to do that. Oh, it was the one mouth and asshole. Don't you put that evil on him? No, funny, funny got me out of trouble in jail. Yeah, I was in a, what was it? The Halifax juvenile lockup, which was they took over an old Jewish camp. It was in the cranberry bogs of Halifax, Massachusetts.

And it was a bad one. It was like terrible. And it was, we were all playing New York ball. They were the hoops are real small, but you can kind of hit each other and all that shit. And they, all the black kids started going after the white. There was one, two, there was three of us. And they started going after us. How many black kids started going after the white there's one two those three of us and they started going after us How many black kids were there a lot?

Society all lot Society happy June team and And they threw basketballs like six of them right at this kids face Smash this face wide open then they got another kid with a blanket party that night in the shower. They tried to get me in the shower. Can you play a party in a shower? You put a pillowcase over his head and beat the shit out of him. Oh, it's the blanket party when they hold your blanket down, you're under it and they beat you with soap. And they put a pillowcase over his head and they just beat the shit out of him.

Okay. And pretty fucked up. Pretty fucked up. And then they tried to get me in the shower. One pushed me and tried to push me into the other one. So you know what I mean? Did you break into a dance routine? They just love these so much. But I got nothing but love for you. But this motherfucker liked the temptations.

I actually, I avoided hitting the other guy. Because the trick was push me into the other guy. The other guy gets pissed, pushes me into somebody and they just beat the shit out of me I avoided and just kind of slid out of the shower and then I hang out my denger was out you're trying to beat you naked that's weird and that's when I hung good but they brought me somebody else that was naked if I was fighting a naked person if I I would be very aware every time they're weaners was hitting my leg or something Moji scream. No, so I'm a picture. I have pants on in this. I'm being attacked by a crazy naked person

I couldn't see a situation where I'd also be naked in a fight I think I would just kind of eat whatever shit I had to eat until I had at least pants on hopefully a shirt Yeah beating me up in the shower is kind of silly. Oh. So job. Oh my god, I know you see my blotchy ass and shit. It's just an ugly scene. Oh, I'm terrible. Doesn't even look cool.

Ha ha ha. But dad, You remember when they raped Edward Norton in the shower? He was all jacked and cool looking at least still. I mean, ha ha ha. I would just be a fat slab of whatever, just my meat slapping against the tiles while this guy's pounded ass on me.

So coming out of there. Don't tell a tallie to deep though, I want to think I'm cool. I'll tell him how much ass I'll get, how much my ass is gonna get pounded out if I go to jail. They brought me, I was in the room reading my book and all them came in like six of them. Black dudes came in and they surrounded me and ghosted me. And then what you do? Explain what a book was.

I gotta get all these jokes out for all you And then they sat around me and they were talking to each other about all the white guys they beat up Yeah, that white boy motherfucker fuck him fucking white boys fuck white boys beat them all up And they looked at me that you a white boy you a homeboy motherfucker and I was like I'm a homeboy And they did just Like this my fucking crazy That's all took and they laughed and they were like, let's go and they left me alone Really? It's it you guys have a homeboy the rest of the time. Yeah, yeah, I bet I was out two days later. Thank Christ

Yeah, I got transferred out of there terrible. That's terrifying terrifying. I went to a summer school like that Terrible. That's terrifying. Terrifying. I went to a summer school like that. What? They what? Over by school. It's very similar to that. What are you talking about? You got to leave. I quit after one day. You could quit summer school?

And you had to pay to go to a different thing. Like you had to get the credit somehow, but I had to pay to go to like, not a private one. It was just like, it was another like class of like derelicts, but like much safer than the overall. You should have stayed until the the Vietnam substitute teacher came in and said everybody's straight. Turned it all around. Turned it all around. Um, no. No, I tried to record. I tried to like call out to a friend of mine. Why would

it say like a friendly at least acquaintance from school in our other school. And when I like called out his name, he gave me like a, like a, no, like cut it. He gave me the cut it like neck like, yeah, and I was like, oh, shit. And then I was waiting out down the steps up by the street. A guy called me over to his car and his passenger side and grabbed me by like my shirt and pulled my head in the car and asked me if I had money and I didn't. So I said, just shook my head and no and he goes,

you can have money tomorrow though, right? And I was like, yeah. I just shaking my head, yeah. So sick. And he goes, and you're gonna have it for the rest of the summer, right? Every day and I was like, yeah. And then I held in a cry.

And then my mom picked me up. My mom's sort of, my mom's fought a little bit that happened because when I told my mom that my class didn't start for a while, she dropped me off way early. I go, can you come back and get me a breakfast or something? Like until I don't want to sit here for like, it's just really not safe to stay out here for like an hour and a half and She was a guy. I become the curb. I'm not stopping So I had to go wait on the curb for which place I was a cost to didn't

Terrify did you tell your mom? Yeah, what'd she say? Oh, let's tell it? I I blubbered about it the second I got in the car. Did you call whenever cop boyfriends that come over? about the second I got in the car. Did you call whenever cop boyfriends that come over? She's like, listen, little, little J, got attacked by... What are you even fucking these guys for? Yeah, if you get no protection. You need to fuck somebody in sweat. No, I begged her to let me, when I told her that they were like, that was threatened like that,

she was like, all right, you're not to go back there. I was like the only way, kid. So you had to go to summer school because you failed. Yeah, you failed class. You failed the class. I had to take a class only. I had to go to summer school too, it sucked. If it was in my school, which by the way,

it wasn't necessarily like a lovely place. It was, I just knew, you know what I mean? And it was like, my did have friends, I was just known somebody there and it wouldn't have been like a weird place familiar at least. This was going to overbroke, which already had the reputation of it's fucking overbrook high school. That's the school that will that will Smith's talking about in the beginning of a song.

Summertime? No. The theme song for the show. Oh really? Yeah. On the playgrounds where he spent most of his days. And then a couple of guys were no good started making trouble on his neighborhood. I wonder what was the same guys. No. I wonder if the same guys took you in the car and said you can have money for the rest. I love that you said yep. No, when I was at that age, he was like already doing something. Like he was making it already because when we'd see him at like the bowling alley or something,

you'd be like, yeah, when he was young very briefly. Wow. Yeah, he'd be the bowling on my parents met at that same bowling alley. But you'd see him there took the arcade and stuff. But they they then like parents just don't understand. Had come out and they were like big. Now this is a story about a chubby little kid who had a good school in the bank wrong part of town playing pitchfider with his big old kids. He's got mom was banging a lot of guys. That bowling is gone now, but that really is my parents meant. My step-up used to take me to the bowl and then one year for Christmas, my gift was a

bowling ball on layaway that we never picked up. Oh, I'm going to get that for you. I was over bowling, I think, by the time we were going to get it, I was like, I don't go bowling anymore. You think that bowling ball is still waiting for you somewhere? Maybe it was called Kong. I love that it was a gorilla on it. Really?

It looked so cool. Bowling was the thing you could do in my neighbor, because it was like a walkable. No parents were there, you can kind of do whatever thing. Right, and you know what I mean? It was safe. Yes, there it is. There's that bad boy right there.

That's the Kong bowling ball you had? Yeah. What color was it blue like that? I think mine was like the blue ish like that that we're there. You never got it. How much is it? How much is it? I'm gonna buy one for you. How much is it? A bowling ball? Yeah, how much is it? How much you think they couldn't pay? Oh It could have been I think it may have been like Legitimate 80 bucks or something My god, you were poor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it was more than 80 bucks. I couldn't imagine well 80 bucks back then One thirty five now, so it probably was about yeah, so maybe 80 bucks. She's what they put a five dollars down on layaway

Probably something like that wow Prouds but down whatever yeah, we used to get like food with we order food and pay for the change a lot Pretty wild Thinking back on us pretty well at the time it seemed like this is great We make you pay for it too, so you and they sent me down there because there was no tip Do you know it's $2? You it was to the penny to the penny did you feel bad? I had no idea until I was older how rotten I was being is that why you tip so much now Yes Because you didn't tip all those people back them and you're talking to karma up very true I had no idea until I was older how rotten I was being. Is that why you tip so much now? Yes.

Because you didn't tip all those people back then and you stuck your karma up? Very true. Wow. That is why I was insane. And you see the guy's face and I would go, I don't understand the problem. It's the money we owe. I wouldn't have just say that, but I mean that's how, when they would be like, thanks a lot, dude.

And you're like, I could just feel even at that young age. I'm like, he didn't mean that. Like he meant he was saying that sarcastically. And I don't understand because it was the money. They also would get to the point where they were, they knew, uh, we were just in the same place all the time. Alpha's pizza house. They knew you were the place that didn't tip. For sure. We definitely had a reputation for sure. It's always like this is where little fat kid comes down this five lights of stairs and and gives you and gives you a shirt full of change. Oh, you had a car. I would I would have it flipped up in my shirt. It was too much money. There be pennies there. Little chubby J with a shirt full of pennies. And then I'd bring up like to my step-pop like like we scored, man.

We scored. What'd you get? Like pizza? It depends sometimes pizza. Sometimes a couple of cheese sticks, maybe split some fries. Really? Or one of our ones when we had very little money, this was good, this cost about, they've really hated us too.

Because someone said order for me and him would be five bucks. And how that would happen is we would just get two, they had great feta cheese, very Greek place. And they'd block a feta, like a nice big chunk of it, was like a buck or something or a buck 50. And we'd get another buck 50, we each get a roll, just like a long hoagie roll. And then me and my stepop, our game would be for dinner,

would be can you time out like Breaking off the piece of cheese and eating bread and can you get your fetishies to last the whole roll? We had fun like that. That was the fattest thing in the world That's not the most mad fat thing my lord. Is that a very fatting thing? I guess it is but you do a fat games Set up a refining thing. I guess it is but you do a fact games Give me a lot of calories Jacob. Do you have it? Did you you poor growing up Jacob? No, he's well off look at that Well, I'll pal season Jacob you okay are you Jacob's at the bottom of the ocean with that summer? He was a titanic people. Yeah, he's with the Titanic people right now

with that summer. Are you with the Titanic people? Yeah, he's with the Titanic people right now. He went down. I'm waiting for you to finally bring it up. Jake, I know what you're saying, Jake. Did you see that? Can you believe that they have 40 hours? 40 hours of air left.

Yeah, I heard an hour's turn today. Yeah, Thursday, it's over. I mean, I don't know if it's over. Ha, that sucks. No, it is. They're done? They went out of air till Thursday. Oh, I thought you said it's over now. Yeah, Thursday.

They don't know where they are. I mean, no idea. There are a hundred and there's whether they have 13,000 feet down. How can you find your iPhone, but not a summary full of people? I mean, you couldn't have put something on it. Well, why did they? Well, there's the thing they took no G. I know Jacob wants to talk about the so bad But your mic is garbage. Oh, this hurts me He's down the bottom he's helping the people he's trying to find the people in the submarine right now

Jacob is in the second sub On his way down to find these people Jacob Jacob can you see anything down there Jacob? Jacob Jacob Jacob can you see anything down there Jacob? Jacob? Jacob? Jacob? Jacob? Is it glorious? You're here, y'all. Stop it. Frank fucking you too. I can lock him up. You can't, Jacob. Now, look out the window, Jacob. Is there any sign of life? Jacob? Jacob?

He's not going to answer. He's furious. Why is he furious? He's mad at Lou. But Lou. Don't get mad at Lou. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I do, Jacob. You sound like you're a robot from the 80s. What's that Louie? I don't know, but your thing is all jacked up. It's not Lou. It doesn't matter what I do Jacob you sound like a robot from the 80s I Don't know your your thing is all jacked up. It's not Louis. I don't think you're underwater buddy get out save yourself

Save yourself Jacob Forget about those people could you imagine here's the thing with this. This is so crazy Once you get into into international waters you can just do it. I mean, fuck you want Yeah, well they all paid I guess a quarter of a million dollars to go down there's three rich people Assigned system of captain and they're controlling it with an Xbox remote. Are they really? It's an Xbox remote all the stuff except for the actual The the sub itself which was at was designed to go down that deep everything else is shit you can get off a Amazon really yeah, dude Well, they're down there and what they didn't do any GPS

Because they said they were going to stay in contact through texts, which I don't know how they thought that was gonna work I Can't get text at 13,000 feet an hour. I can't get text here. It's serious. Yeah On the 36th floor to my wife that's in Westchester never mind These people going down 13,000 feet down. I mean it's pitch black. I mean it's crazy They went down and these people now all those people I believe they got technical names They have to do certain things down there. Well, here's what I thought about 40 hours left, right? Yeah, 40 hours left. Let's say

It's guys and girls down there. There's a real question. Yeah At what point do you say we're going down guys? We all just like Finger fucking wagging them. They're off and fucking shit An hour in Before you even know that something's wrong hey guys as long as we're down here right what happens to 13th out down happens 13th out down I mean 13 thousand feet That sounds terrifying. Yeah, but Jacob's got some big great thoughts on it. I know I'm the subject. He's an expert on the title. There way this is my fault okay now it's working here me now you're back buddy good job you

got glad you fixed it you should you should have helped the people on the uh... submarine you get so frustrated you think he's I was born to talk about well you're on one of your bi monthly fucking iguana hunts is bi monthly iguana huntsism is going to slingshot james your dual citizenship at this point jake up well yeah ask me anything i'm gonna ask some right now

so did this guy who who's uh... came up with this is he just a crazy millionaire a billionaire what is he billion error who designed the ship and if i send you a Video really the thing is controlled with like a PlayStation controller X box. No shit. I mean, it's an actual controller. No, I believe you guys But I'm what I'm reading here on the side just is a board or a British adventure A French diver a Pakistani father and son and the founder of a company that operates the tour. This sounds like every action movie that's done in the ocean.

The fact that someone's genuinely in life referred to as an adventurer, that means he's called himself that. What do you do exactly? Well, I'm all around an adventurer. I guess you could say. Well, Jack Vaughn is an adventurer. When I went on this, I went on this. I'm a Swashbuckler by trade. Jack is a swashbuckler.

He is a sword. They were at first calling them all science experts. And when I went on the site, like years ago, when they started opening it up to the public, if you paid $250,000, you could pick what you wanted to be. Like, you could be science officer Bobby I'd like to be lighting and jammer man Jay I turned the lights on and off. Yeah, it was like space camp except you were going to the Titanic

Wow, they're going to take two texts, but shit. I forgot my phone. That's funny. So they they lost contact and Out it takes two and a half hours to get to the Titanic because they basically just drop slowly and an hour and a half down they lost contact so it can be anywhere in the water column. Why can't they just dig up? Why can't they just dive down and go take a look? Well, there's a lot of ships that can do this. No, I mean like a first sample the very thing. I'm gonna say they lost contact but does there a chance that they know they have 40 hours of air left? Do you think they're like just doing their search

and coming back up? Is that possible? They're searching, they could be, they could have surfaced or they could be anywhere in the water column or they could be at the bottom of the ocean near the top. When you say water column, when you say, I'm sorry Jacob, when you say water kind of when you say i'm sorry Jacob when you say water

what is that anywhere below the so at any at any depth no of course of course but i'm saying is there any chance so that they just lost contact but they're just like by fuck our communications things off but you know it's still finished what we're doing here like is there a chance there's probably a chance they're fine and like they have 40 hours left like in 20 hours from now and it's crazy that they just come back up and go like,

hey that was awesome. Yeah, they're all naked. Yeah. No, Bobby suggests we all have a big little orange. Bobby is a British adventure and you go, no, I'm not dude, I was just kidding. But you all have that that colored powder from Indian weddings all over them. that colored powder from Indian weddings all over them. There's apparently seven redundancies to make sure that this thing floats to the top if anything happens to the ship. They lose control. It's designed to float, but nobody spotted them yet.

So I think something is severely wrong. So you get there. Apparently one guy said it's like finding somebody on Mars, it's so difficult. Or somebody at the bottom of the ocean. Christine, get a set up. We have a Jacob, Jacob, we have our guest in the studio. I'm gonna make sure. One of my favorites.

One of my favorite guests. Christine's getting a set up. So glad he's back. Christine, pick up the plugs, please. If you would, please. We're talking about the submarine that's went down of the Titanic that's missing. Yeah, I want him to jump in.

Because my guess is this take is gonna be end. He is correct. This is some white shit. He's got a new special domino effect too available right now on YouTube. And you can see him with live dates coming up in Oklahoma, Ontario, California, and Cleveland returning to the show.

The fucking hilarious. Oli Sadeek, everybody. What's up, dude? What's going on, Mom? You go to his website, oliSadeek.com, to get all his tickets to. This is your first time doing the show at Robert Kelly. Yes, it is. It's so to write off.

Okay, how are you? I'm doing well, sir. I just watched your clip this weekend, your Father's Day clip. Okay. How about how Father's Day is, what is it? 19th? 16th and 19th. What is it?

19. 19 on the list. And then you go, Arbor's Day is ahead of it. And you're like, I don't even know what the fuck Arbor's Day is. I don't even know what the fuck it is. I don't know what the fuck Arbor's Day is. What is Arbor's Day?

Like, Earth Day or something like that. Earth Day. Treat like that. What is that? Truthies, something. I love how people want to interview me and they always go back 11 years, eight years on me. No, he just walked back. No, that just came up. He just happened to watch his father's death.

This is the thing. I just drilled a bunch of people about, also y'all posting the goddamn 11 year old clip but not posting my new special. They're like, oh my bad. I'm like, it comes up every year. And it's like, I've gotten more traction on that in this last week than I did on my special.

I'm like, y'all fucking suck. Okay. I mean, you know where it's gonna happen? Comedy Central just keep getting money off me that fuck me. Like, I'm with the, I'm with Berk Rysher on tour. And I mean it's a tour built off a story. He told 15 years ago

Like I never knew I was gonna be in that space. It's the father's day. Joe. It's Mexican got on boots I'm like, you know, y'all do know I got a bunch of new shit, right? Did y'all get post? Like my friend just came to me. Hey man. I just saw your father. They's get I say you were there What I did it we were younger, but you got it. I mean here's the thing it is father's day If it was Christmas and I brought it up you have a case Father's day, so that clip is gonna come out. You know what I mean is I like it comes out. You get no ownership over.

You have no ownership over. I have no ownership. No, I don't want to talk to you. Comedy center, but you know what they do. So, I know that's why we're independent. I try not to talk about them at all. I went into independent too because of the same reason. Yeah.

No, they wouldn't take my special. No, I posted a clip, right? Yeah. Like, say why is this? if I were to posted that on my page. Yeah They would have flagged me they flag you yeah, it's insane But then everybody else get posted and it's nothing, but I get flagged for Copyright, yeah, it's copyright. So that's what made me go independent Couple years back because I did that me and they flagged me. I was kind of more expensive, but it's kind of, it was really fun.

I did my own this last one. I know, I reposted it. Yeah, I fucking did. BT used to do that too though. BT on holidays, I don't know if you remember, they had the same joke. Oh man. So they posted like six comics all with the same

fucking joke. Like the same exact joke. Same fucking joke. Just six different. One of my favorite moments ever was when you met me. When I met you when I joined the bonfire. You joined the bonfire. Oh man, thanks, bro. I just joined.

It's like a new thing. He's still a little whipped up about it. When I did, uh, when I did B T's one mic stand, that's when Kevin, Kevin Hart took over. Yes. But it was, it was, they told me it wasn't comic view. Because I was like, I don't want to do comic view again. And they were like, it's not comic. It's one mic stand and Cav's hosted.

So I was like, oh man, it's pretty, you know, and Cav even was like, you know, we talked enough then where he was like, dude, come do it, man, it's going to be great. And I was like, okay, he's like, it's not comic view, which is hilarious when you get the contract. It's called comic view presents one mic stand. So it was comic view exactly but they were paying right at that point and treating your right they all over did it they like picked us up and everyone had their own limo

and like they put us up at like a studio city something it was all pretty nice yeah as far as that goes but we went in the dressing room before the show he gave a pepped Bob Sumner, gave a pep talk. That was so funny that it was like the fucking, what's the Al Pacino in a, that he giving Sunday. And he gave it to him. He was like, you know, they're saying black comedy's getting hacky, they're saying everyone's doing the same shit. He goes, and I told him like one mic stands

about to be different. We got Kevin Hart involved on this. And he's like, and we're gonna do something different. He goes, ain't gonna do some different goes. Ain't gonna be no fucking stools and shit out there. They're gonna be no putting in crazy fake teeth and doing like the accent. Ain't gonna be people doing slave voices out there.

We're gonna show them the black comedy is here and then all these comics go and like, yeah! And then everybody went out there and fucked stools in front of me. Everyone did almost everything he said to the exact same thing he said on stage. They still had to. To like, ah, well, I do have to do my teeth bit

because I brought the teeth. I had teeth bit when I first started. Did you have a teeth bit? I had a lot of people did. When I first started, I had buck teeth. And I had to travel with them. It was the worst. And I forgot them at one gig when I did Maine.

At my, I had a joke. I put the buck teeth in. I went, I'm a goofy vampire. Duh. I used to get in the underwear. You know, I was, I know that they need. I was, you know, I was at that pep top. No, really?

Yeah, because this is the, this is the, if he gave it, I've always talked about how fucking horrible one mic standing. This is the only show that every comic was calling it just I've always talked about how fucking horrible one mic standing. This was the only show that every comic was calling each other. Did you air? And then he was like, no, he was like, alright, cool. Didn't nobody want to air.

I was so happy I didn't fucking air. The first round, they said the audience was all paid audience. So they were just terrible. And they go, we got to reach you the whole thing. And then they just brought in all paid audience. So they were just terrible. And they go, we gotta reshoot the whole thing. And then they just brought in a paid audience. They just did it again. And it was, I did it. It was unmemorable to say the least.

Ray, what's his name? Lapinski, not Ray Lapinski. Is that right? Who was the person that got, they threw a fucking high heel shoot him and a woman tried to attack him on stage He was one of the white guys it would be in the black circle I like him a lot Ray LaPalski Not um, I was this guy's name. I was there and it was just fucking it is Ray LaPalski

Yeah, it was crazy One mic stand was so horrible that nobody wanted to air and it was because the audience was paid and it was like it was ridiculous and I remember that I remember that that speech and so the crazy thing about the speech and the crazy thing about the the green the green room so we were waiting on each other to come back in the green room so we could tell you how good you did because the audience wasn't giving you shit. Like the audience was like an horrible. And I mean, it was terrible.

You were way... Since the band production. Do you know how bad you have to be to throw you, to hate the comic that much, where you're gonna walk home with one shoe? Oh, that woman, Ray LaPalle. That's a fucking decision. She tried to back up shoes. She should show and approach. She had throwing shoes. She had those shoes. It's

the thing. Like I've always wondered when women thought they were panties that you want to stay, do they take them off or is it like a spare pair that they have? I think the hopes they take them off. I guess. But like bringing the spare pair, but I will tell you that when I was on stage at that heavy metal festival I am seed one year, I made a joke about people throwing bra, it doesn't really happen to comedians. And I got hit with a large bra from a large woman and it, one hurt when it hit me that underwire was like a fucking rebar. And I think it would be so. And also getting hit with made contact with something that's thrown from off stage is

jaw. It's like really like. It's hard to be funny right through it for a second. You got to be like, yo, that was fucking scared. It could have been anything. A rock. Did you see what's her name? BB Rex. Is that an ABCF video? Someone pegged her in the head with a phone from like the third row of a concert. Did you see what's her name? BB Rexha? Is that an empty that video? Someone pegged her in the head with a phone from like the third row of a concert.

Bring that up. That shit. Did you see that? No, I didn't see it, but I know it hurt. You're damn willing hurt. You remember the time Billy Berg got hit with a donut? No. Never went comics when they first opened in New York.

It was, they like blew it out. It was like the fanciest comedy club since Cal much and they spent way too money, much money. And they had these donuts, these fancy fucking donuts and burrows on the stage, uh, eating it in some way. So maddy, he said something, you see a donut fly on the stage. It was serving. You see the powdered sugar just bounce off his shirt. It was serving down. You see the powdered sugar just bounced off his shirt. Fancy don't. Yeah, that comedy club.

They built an immediate like three camera shoot, like high-def cameras, like the most state of the art thing. Started paying comics like 20 grand more than their quote at like Caroline's just to get them over there. And then they just got. Hanked. Yeah. It was more. They were like doubling quotes. They spent $12 million turning the place from a grocery store to this state of the art club

And it closed after four years. It was crazy I mean they they paid me a $15,000 for a weekend the spot the spots would be a couple hundred bucks on weekends. It was great It was like out it was outlandish They just want people to go there and like come through, but the thing was, comics still aren't gonna like just hang it like a place. You know what I mean? Like that's an end of the night thing.

So just no one really gave a shit about it or it didn't become like a place where people like sought out to go. The donut was good though. The donut was real good. All the food was good. Food again was overly good. You just needed to be that good.

They was just going, they were doing that in LA comics would be staying be staying. Oh, they would be living. They all go home at eight o'clock anyway. It's weird. It seemed like they do LA. Yeah. I don't know if it's like that so much. I've been in the comedy store late for a while now. But when I first used to go there, I used to love it. Cause I'd be in New York and Chappelle would it was a time where he was kind of coming in a lot years and years ago and he was like bumping

doing those like seven hour sets. And I was the left factory one of my first times out in LA and he came in and I was like, still six more comics away. But the other five comics left because they were like, Chappelle's on, dude, we're getting out of here and I was like, if I stay, if he does get off like in a reasonable time because I still go on and they were like, shepals on dude, we're getting out of here. And I was like, if I stay, if he does get off, like in a reasonable time,

could I still go on and they were like, yeah, he did like an hour and then it was like, the crowd was just hyped, it was great. They let me do like 45 minutes on that show. Because all the comics are like, fuck this. I mean, I went on like 10 PM, it wasn't crazy late. I just like leave my house here at like 10 o'clock to go do shows.

Yeah, I got bumped in LA by everybody. Lou, one night. What was your most hurtful? I was at the improv. I got bumped by every famous comic you could imagine that came in. Yeah, which one hurts them? Like, that shepherd bummed me out. Dink hook.

I got bumped by that. I didn't even go to stand up comedy. I think I was always going on. I got bumped. Tom Arnold was sick. Oh, Tom, I actually yelled at Tom Arnold. I yelled at him. He had his show at the last time. I was like, I was like, I'm going going on. I got, I got, I got a bone. Tom Arnold was sick close, I could.

Oh, Tom, I actually yelled at Tom Arnold. I yelled at him. He had his show at the laugh factory, where he would host. Yeah. And there's, you know, 10 people there. And he's rambling, just rambling on and on, whatever. And he's supposed to bring me up half hour late. I went to Greenblast, next door I got soup.

That's how late this fucker was. So I'm eating my soup and they just run this lady girl on the couch goes, he's bringing you up, he's bringing you up. And I go, but I'm eating my soup. But he's bringing you up. Can you please? So I left, left my soup. I went over there. He goes, all right, you guys, this guy, he's, he's from Boston. Boston anyways and then he went into another story 20 minutes later. I sat there seething 20 minutes later no joke 20 minutes later he goes I let's give it up for this guy Robert Kelly just brings me up and I run on stage I go you're a fucking in my life has it the more insulting thing everything goes it wasn't that bad I go fuck you Tom it was bad I got

soup I have soup in the other in the green blots waiting for me wasn't that bad buddy you know it's funny that you were almost gonna catch the blame Bobby for something that wasn't you Dan leaving no oh nothing sorry uh Tammy Pasca tell you this weekend on the Berk Rysher tour. I was saying how like you're on the show now. Yeah. And she was like, oh, I love Bobby. She goes, you know, one time, and I could tell was a thing where I was like,

maybe she doesn't like like you very much because it seemed like a pleasant thing. At first, but she goes, Bobby, one time I was, I used to be the house MC at Cleveland Improv and Bobby came, one time I used to be the House MC at Cleveland Improv, and Bobby came through one time, and when he was a, he gave me his credits on a laminated like index card, and that she goes, and she couldn't, she wasn't allowed

to bring paper on stage, the owner didn't like that. So she went out there and tried to remember what she could in afterwards that you went over and scolded her on like, did you ever do these credits? Have you ever done these? Because these credits are my credits and I worked for them. That's why they're credits and you read all of them and ran her down and I was like, wow, it's crazy.

What's not Bobby anymore? So it'll be funny to bring that up. It wasn't you. No, of course not. It was Bobby Collins though. Yeah, 100%. 100%. I'll stand back him, I guess.

I know who I was. I know exactly who it was. I knew. First of all, I don't... I'm not that emotional about my intro. I really am not that... I thought it was Rob's night or something. First of all, I've never laminated anything.

Of course. When she said it was you, I was like, that's definitely not you at all now, but I was like, but that might have been a funny story from your past. I don't even write my jokes down on a piece of paper that well before my own show I've always said unless you're saying from Ace Ventures pet detective and your Jim Carrey coming out

They the credit means nothing so I'm like just say whatever you feel man. No one of the things I wouldn't like I wouldn't be a big fan of like hey this next guy's Jay Okres and like all right I mean like I say I'm a little hyped. like, hey, this next guy's J.O.K. or sin, I'm like, all right, I mean like, get him a little hype. I said, oh, what Mike's saying. Oh, he is all what Mike's saying. He's like, fuck you, fuck you. I say, I say do my credits. Dude, this is what you can say.

This, this, and this. But if you forget any of it, I don't give a fuck. Like, I take all the, dude, I've been on this, I've been that on that. If you say that, that's great. If you fuck it up, I don't care. Just bring me, I'm, I'm just'm I just hate when they bring me up excited like when they're like you guys Ready

Like a good Fuck out the six people in the crowd. I'm yes. I'm a little different I've never been back store. I've never been bumped in LA Why because I'd never go up. Can't be bumped if you're not on anyone. Never. I've never had a desire to go up in LA. Like, never. I think you would do great there, but I will say in LA proper, particularly, it's not. I like California a lot. Yeah. Not exactly. Sacramento, even Ontario, the San Diego. San Diego, I love.

Lahoy, all that. LA, it's five, five, and they're also only like 10 minutes that's usually out there and shit. But I feel like it's five minutes before they stop going like, what the hell is he doing? Like they don't know what's happening. Because I don't know, I just don't have like, and you sit down to it, the similar like, hey, what do we got going on here?

They're like, just fucking say the jokes. Like they're so frazzled. They're just actors. They're just all actors and wait. The last five times I went to LA, I didn't go on stage. I have no desire to get stage, I mean, like you want to go up? I'm like, no, I'm good. I'd rather just go next door and smoke a cigar at V cuts.

Let the kid that's been coming here for six months that you haven't let go of, let him go up. Yeah. I don't need your stage time. I don't need another picture. I've never done chocolate sundies. I've never had the desire to. And all of those.

You laugh at her, right? Yeah, that's the last fact. I had a line of the improv and all of those that's a laugh actually. I headlined the improv and I never get coming there. And the guy named Jamie was over at the time. He said, well, how much time are you gonna do? I said, an hour. He's like, oh no, headlines don't do hours. He did do like 20 minutes.

I was like, well, y'all better figure something out for about four and an hour. And he's like, they're not going to stay. I'm like, whatever you think, you know, they don't have to go. I'm going an hour. Where are they going to go? I did an hour. I remember Jay Phillips was coming, was doing the next show after me.

And he's like, hey, man, all these people stayed. I'm like, yeah, he told me that they weren't. And then, but, you know, I'm like, man, what time of damn headlight of those 20 minutes, will you take that on the road at? Dude, Patrice used to, at the comic strip, he used to get so mad if Lee Slampinelli was on the shows with him, because he didn't like the ways you did whatever, you know, her like, her things.

So like, when he was on, he would do like extra long at the end at the end of the show, but he would stay long. And you know, so we're my ex wife, like, love dig. I'd be there too. So I'm like, everyone's like, let's just go watch Patrice. It's great. But some staff didn't like Patrice, you know, and they just wanted to go home and they'd get a super mad. Adam, but he used to tell him he'd go to this graduate.

We go, hey, Patrice tonight, you know, come on. Maybe don't go so long on the LH show. You just get the schedule and be like, I'll say it again, if Lee Slamponelli goes here and he just starts circling me with pencil really big. Then I'm gonna do an hour here. And he would just go until they left. Like they'd start trickling out

and then eventually be like, all right, later, whatever. I used to have to like God frees money on fire at the cell. Ah! Man. To get him off stage. 3.30 in the morning. And I'm like, every all the way to have it like,

sitting like falling asleep on the stairs. You're hosting? And I'm hosting and I just take his money and put a flame to it. And he'd finally go, I gotta go, I gotta go. Yeah, it's crazy. Yo, by the way, special was a dynamite. thank you thank you so much I think I'm not special let's just came out to I did not do I mean yeah it's kill box Louis CK directed it's on his website

to I mean depending I mean dog belly fucking awesome, but thanks. Thanks for throwing that everybody. If you guys are listening, you can't see, visually he looked at, he pointed at both of us at the same time. So, great, great special fellas. Great special, he didn't say fellas, but he was about to, sorry about that. Fells was coming off, definitely coming.

We should take a break and then come back because we, do we have reads today? Yeah. Oh, it's huge. We should take, we'll take a break and then come back because we, do we have reads today? Yeah. Oh, it's a good. We should take a, we'll take a break and come back as I want to, uh, Ali, uh, Jacob is on camera over there. And, uh, we were talking, he's was giving us the real low down about what's going on with the Titanic people who are gone missing under one, only 40 hours of air. Yeah, but that, that, a submarine submarine, went down to the Titanic with just regular people

who paid a quarter of a million each to go down. And the thing was actually controlled by an Xbox remote and the thing's gone missing. And they have, they have 40 hours of air left. So it's not even like we could say, we can't go up, we just can't go up. We don't know where they are. We can't go up. Jacob is an expert at it. And we don't know where they are no no no Jacob Jacob is an expert at it and we don't know where they are

I'm arguing they might just be fine and just finishing their trip At some point down there if I was on a video game controller I would do if we were if it was all failing I would do up up down down If I was on a video game our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you.

I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink.