The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sexually Out There (feat. Jason Ellis)

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

The great Jason Ellis turned to heroin before coming out and now has a glory hole in his house!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire, with Big J. O'Coursen and Robert Kelly. A buddy I know we have our guests coming in, but I,

tomorrow I will tell you, Ari Shaffir, on his fourth of July party, which was lovely, did not hold through. He made a real to do, it's a teaser for the conversation. Made a real to do. It's a teaser for the conversation. Me to real to do. This one was comics only. Comics only. Yeah.

No, my daughter ended up not like wanting to go. Ultimately, but she wasn't allowed to go. Um, girlfriend's calm to Rills girlfriend. Nope. she has to stay home. It's not girlfriend. It's, and then said, or he said that his girlfriend would be bringing no friends. Like, her friends couldn't even come. This is just comics. I call it, can Jacob come? Jacob's comedy, you know, he's in comedy and he, yes, Jacob can come come Jacob was a person that that makes the cut and you figure And you figure that's the That's kind of like the people that were that are maybe not technically stand-up comics. Yeah, who would be there? Christine

Christine was out of town could she have come if she was in town. Yes, okay. Yeah, Christine could have come comedy adjacent um Katie came comedy Jason Dan's girlfriend sure fiance Comedy adjacent for sure. He's a real stickler. He gets these little things. Oh, you think he's a stickler until his girlfriend started inviting everybody she knows and then it became very not comics. No, I was it not comics. What are you when he said why is it why does it just be all comics are it's fine but like what's the thing? Because we say

inappropriate jokes and we go too far and we but and then these people are gonna we don't anybody there is gonna make people uncomfortable not have a good time or whatever. The Rosa walked away for five minutes and he came back. He was like Jesus Christ Just one of the people was like I just came back from Atlanta and Joe's like oh, I love Atlanta She's it's such a racist place because they do this and that he's like yeah, no it's a troubled city, but like You know, I love it. I just always love the city and she's like they put the counties on the license plates They can racially profile people. He's like am I singing it's I just always love the city and she's like they put the counties on the license plates so they can racially profile people He's like I'm not saying it's with the dad's problems. I'm just saying like I've always liked the city and she goes

You know what maybe we just should not talk about it. How about that? You know, it's like fuck off. Ari you son of a bitch. Joe just panic and said I go home fries a better than hash brown Home fries Joe stop taste budding. Calm down. Stop taste budding. Oh really? You dumb fucks. It was to me and Joe. Me and Joe went to work on our on the phone this weekend really getting the but he had to just take it. There was nothing to do.

I think the girlfriend's friends are surprised though. He says it was a surprise which does take some of his uh uh responsibility off of it. But by the end of it how about this by the end of it you should start willing to be inviting everybody. What the fuck Christ? Every sub that collapsed. Everybody started bringing their girlfriends at the end and then a person like column Terrell just sent with his thumb up his ass who had to tell his girlfriend. She was at home. Oh, that's another thing I found this weekend because Mark Normand was like, I know I did the same thing And I was like I thought you said your girlfriend was at a town he goes I lied. I didn't want people to feel bad

But he's got such a small place. How many people are up there? So many. What is all? It wasn't just comics and it became a lot of people who couldn't stand anywhere. And if you walked into one area, it was a bunch of dumb chicks talking about, I literally happened upon a conversation of like, so what's the fire sign exactly? Like that's the sign that you retract to other people, but you are sign as you're thinking, so I'll make a Scorpio with a Virgo Fire sign rising. Something you're like,

I'm like, holy shit. They sing their sentences. Oh, it was a lot of fun. Anyways, I was going, they're the same girls I talked to loud at restaurants. I was Altsky, soon as the fireworks rover. You gone? Gonsky.

Fucking bitch. There's nothing worse than a zany bitch I hate it. I know I know I know a lot of fun at our is it was just that it was a blast I hate those fucking people I hate him I hate when you mix what when I had my barbecue I used to mix worlds and it was uncomfortable yeah but he it was his rule yeah that upon it being broken was every problem we had. What's going on, man? We have in studio our guest is showing up right where yeah, yeah. What's up buddy?

You know from the Hawk versus Wolf podcast with Tony Hawk and the Jason Ellis show and awesome world. Everybody. It's comedian extreme sports legend. Jason Ellis show and awesome world everybody its comedian extreme sports legend Jason Ellis everybody What's up buddy you look great. What's up, dude? What's up guys? How are you casual? We were having a An interesting discussion before I've made everybody very upset with me because I was Bobby had his place to himself for the last

eight hours, I guess, and he's pounded it off. He said about four times. Four times. First one was the best. Last one was the worst by myself, by myself, because I have a 10 year old and a wife and premenopause. So what's pro menopause me? That means when a woman turns into a twat, right?

Right. And cold a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's before she has to count't make babies anymore, right? It's before she can't make babies. She's transitioning into a... It's like moving in with your uncle. Just a country dude that everyone's in a while.

What's also like this? Are you sure that that's the clinical, like, that's what happens? Oh, it's in a book. Yeah, it's in a book. Okay. Okay. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. No. Okay. It's when women, yeah, it's in a book. I read the books. Not your book. It's not your fault. No, okay. It's when women, yeah, before they stop getting their periods,

they have premenopause, and it could last for a long time, but she gets hot and cold, very moody, and wants nothing to do with this. Is she the biscuit pussy too, like super dry? That's a good question, Jay. Does she have a dry, dry count? Well, that's what Oh, that's a good question Jay. Uh, I don't know. She have a dry dry Well, that's what I that's her nickname So I would imagine that's a nickname my car behind her back

She doesn't listen I take it. I nothing I do Bring me that check and fucking shut your face. Well, that's real love. No, I do it. We love each other Really? No, I love her to death. Okay. I love her so much. I yeah we have a blast. Okay. It's just not sex wise. Well sex wise if you're struggling a four times in one day tells you you're horny. Well we we actually are living right. We're living up in a tiny house for the summer up in the Hampshire. Yeah. And it's we have two loft beds of face each other. So we have a kid so that we really don't there's no place to bat Okay, so I was up there for five days. There's no bang and there's no nothing got it now Jason slightly up the road

He also just owns land. He's doing nothing with so I say go beat off there on your land Yeah, you can't have sex with other people, huh? No Should I clarify can I say something please do I know shit. Should I clarify? Can I say something, Jason? Please do. Thank you. I'm on the verge of asking her, like, hey, I know that you're going through this.

Yeah. But is there any way I could just go do some stuff? A rub-and-tug? I don't want to meet. I love my wife. It seems like so much. I mean, I tear up. That's how much I love. I see I can cry when I'm with her. That's how much I love her and my wife. It seems like. So much. I mean, I tear up. That's how much I love.

I see I can cry when I'm with her. That's how much I love her and my family. It's anxiety. But it's not anxiety, Jay. It's love. I love my wife. You bought a Plottle Land that he doesn't plan on building on. That only has a cliff on it.

Yeah, but it's like there's no way that you couldn't just build like a room to fuck on. I have, well could a fuck room. Yeah, a room a woods fuck all on woods fuck room. That would be pretty awesome. Get the chain. Get the the the crucifixing where you can strap them on there. You know, who am I gonna stuff? Who am I gonna fuck?

You piece if you go on the internet you be I was just because I'm on bumble and I always when I get to a new place I turn them on to see what the vibe is. And chicks don't really dig, especially older ladies that are because I look like terrifying. They're right Like it's red flag season over here, but everybody in New York I'm getting I got like 50 girls want to have sex with me in the last 24 hours They're not that hot, but I bet you I could put them in a fuck room and whip them and stuff for sure I mean if you knew and I look pretty much the same if you want to go in on a fuck room and whip them and stuff. For sure. I mean, if you knew when I looked pretty much the same. If you wanna go in on a fuck room up in my land,

I'll fucking, I'll go in on it. I would, if your wife said yes, because I don't know how people cheat. So my wife, all right, I don't wanna cheat on my wife. I have to ask her. She goes, yes, you can have a fuck room and Jason can have half of it and you guys can. We split the fuck room.

Yes. Are you in on the fuck room? I knew hamster fuck room. Jay loves the fuck. I can throw it in on that. But not you have to clean up. You can't be doing what you do by yourself. Well, anyway, that gets to what we were discussing.

Wait, what do you do by yourself in the fucker room? Not in the fucker room. We're saying when there's privacy, Bobby, Wackdall, I mean, hotels is where you can really have a different jerk session when you're home. Great. We were saying about what we do. I said, how do you do like a do you ever just roll over

and go to sleep in your own yuck in what yeah everyone said no wait do you do yeah it's not what I said he does no I drew a picture of what I do I have it wait I don't want to we don't show him yet I just say it yeah I'll say it first but we have to say it because of context and then we'll show it okay okay I did a drawing of it yeah just because everyone really understood so yeah Show me I just say it. Yeah, I'll say it first. Well, we have to say it because of context and then I'll show you okay I did a drawing of it. Yeah, no one really understood so yeah, I'll I'll whack off. I'm not I'm not a shooter I don't have crazy Poono ropes. It just drools out. Yeah, he's a stroke. It's like a stroke. You know if you do kegels He can shoot him further nice

I'm gonna talk about that. But it basically just goes all over hand. Knuckles. And then you just kind of squeegee up. Yeah, he has like the end of a volcano, just dribbles down the side of the mountain. But kegels, we'll get it to pop. Nice.

I also heard celery juice. But so anyway, I, and also, you got it on your hand. There's things. Also when you're jerking off in a hotel, because I know the kind of clean, I'm also not like employing any of the things that maybe would make it shoot out a little more. I'm fine to just kind of gather,

because you got to get rid of it. And then I say often, if I'm not getting up, we're talking about the situations where it's at night time, I'm going to bed. Just say it, stop setting it up. I'll flip over, I'll just wipe it on the part of the sheet like behind the headboard kind of thing and just live life.

Behind the headboard. It's not over yet, Jason, then also. So that after, does it make my dick hole stick It's not over yet Jason then also so that After come doesn't make my dick hole stick to the sheet because I'm a belly sleeper I lay down and I open my legs and I pull my ball bag and dick from From behind so they're they're pointing like away from me on the bed and I lay like this so much TV And there's a very real shot that's an aerial shot. Oh, that is actually spot on in. I get that. Yeah.

But you're saying that sometimes you fall asleep with your dick under your belly and that your dick got stuck to the bed. I'm not a chees. Not a chees. That's just so falling asleep. I've just let it mush under. Yeah. And it got stuck on you.

Not stuck, but like when you do move again, when it comes off the sheet, you feel that like, is that little, you have like a jizz and sleep kind of guy. Like when you come, you're ready to go to bed. No, not with regularity, but some of them not ready to necessarily get up. Yeah, because that seems like not that hard for you, you can get up, right? Sure.

Did you smell like weed? I could spring. Yes. I could spring. Because that one can deter me from doing things sometimes late at night, but Giz on me I got to get it off get it off. Yeah, I have napkins I told me I get toilet paper wrapping around three times one two three I

Giz and I grab it first one second one wipe the rest up third one is to clean up all the a little residual I take it off and I put it in the toilet flush gone, it never happened. Wow. It never happened. Man. And then I get, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it anywhere.

He takes his knuckle and push, sticks it down on the bed and then pulls it up like a magician and it's gone. Wow. I don't have enough. I don't have enough jizz to put on me. I feel like that's comically come back to me the one some way. I've definitely laid my head on a com pillow

or something before. Every hotel has someone else's jizz on it. Yeah. Like you probably stayed in my room once. Probably. So I'm rolling in your jizz even if I don't jizz. Well, no, because they clean, if I just have to clean the comforter and stuff

sometimes in the carpet, he's jizzing everywhere. But I don't, you I don't clean the comforter and stuff sometimes in the carpet. He's jizzing everywhere. Well, you could, but I don't you don't come on the comforter. You know, but I've fucked on the carpet before which means I'm kneeling in jizz or my back's on jizz. For sure. Also, I live life above the covers. Like I said, so whatever the the horror is on the covers is like less of a you know me I'm like whatever it's just another day for me That's just a part of it. I know that's fine. I get. Oh, no, I'm lying in jizz Well, I'm probably about to get jizz on but it's not your jizz. Somebody else's jizz. That's a whole different game Now I reckon another dude's jizz and my jizz is just as gross Well, depends I guess it's perception after's perception. After it passion of the gizz I'm fine with gizz. But as soon as the passion's gone on, the gizz has to go. Yeah, it's a

little bit embarrassing sometimes. We need to get back to where we were before the passion of the gizz. You don't like when a lady rubs the gizz in? I'm sorry. What did you say to you? Yeah. You don't like when a lady rubs in your gizz. Rubbs it into wet. It's to her. No, I don't want some hippie rubbing jizz on me like an art present. No, he said on to her. No, he said on to her. You want to. No, I tell you what?

I don't like that either. What? I don't listen. I love a girl that loves jizz. I don't like a girl when she goes, what do you want me to jizz? She goes in my face. I don't want to do that either. What?

I feel like my, one time I- What is wrong with you? If you ever seen that, like I don't want to jizz on your face if you don't want to do that either. What? I feel like my, one time. It's wrong with you. If you ever seen that, like I don't want to gizz on your face if you don't want your face gizz done. But if you want your face gizz done, and your gizz on them and they get happy when the gizz hits them. Because it makes me happy.

Here's the thing though, they want it in the passion of the gizz. Yeah, on my face. As soon as you gizz in their face, they're like, they look like. The passion of the gizz by the way should they're like, they look like the actual, that's the wrong girl. Should be a passion. The car is that part.

That says, jizz on my face, because she thinks that's what you want. I jizz on girls faces that want jizz on their face. Like they'll take anybody out. Anybody. Everybody, you ever see somebody get a pie in their face at the first couple of seconds, they're laughing. And then they're like, what the fuck? It's the same thing.

I don't like pie or jizz around face, but you do. I love pie. Bobby, you fucked in your life. You've never found a real like a girl who really really rubs the gizz in. I have and I don't like it because I feel, I don't know. I like it in the moment of sex.

I like it. No. In the moment of sex. So like it. No. I In the Moulin In the Moulin of sex. You got like a jizz vogueer something in the moment of sex. I like jizz. I'm fine with the G is but then after the fact I feel like she's got I could see her just cleaning in her hair and she get They get a little ain't like they get a little fresh. I mean there's girls in here. Ask them. I mean don't when you get

G in the moment. I like I like the rub in of it. Yeah, but what's not hot though is the hand pull off and it's like the the grilled cheese sandwich Oh, but I don't know Oh, just like shampoo a little goes a long way. Yeah, you're only the size of a pea I mean jizz does go a long way. Yeah, jizz when only need a size of a P. I mean, Jizz does go a long way. Yeah, Jizz, when you rub it in, it really stretches it out a little bit. Yeah. When you rub it in for sure, stretches.

I mean, if a girl was like, listen, would you, I wanna swallow it, I'm cool with that. Find with that, I like that. Okay. And I like a little speed on it. Can you understand why somebody would be okay with the face Jizz? I'm fine with it.

If you, if you, if you, if you understand it's your problem, right? If you really want it, that's fine. That's the difference. When the, usually when you do it, they're into it and then as soon as it's done, they're like, ugh. See, I would, I would, I would argue. I would argue, I would argue, she's not into jizz.

Well, I mean, I've seen people get jizz on and then they're like Licking it cleaning themselves letting it and I'm like yeah, yeah, I'm a real like jizz. Yeah, I hate it I haven't I haven't had a cat. It's like a jizz hauler, you know, I haven't had that. I haven't had that I never I'm never gonna hang out. We gotta get a fuck Bring him we're gonna fuck cabin fucking day. I'll bring him. We gotta get a fuck cabin. I'll bring the hate. Tell Thorn to give you a one weekend haul pass.

Just go kick it with Jason Ellis. We just get the fuck cabin. We build a simple cabin with good ceilings. The fridge, yeah, good drinks. We need drinks. We need some type of bed, bedding. Oh yeah. Oh, humidorah.

I would have like some humidorah. Yeah, but I would have like a like a Sex banchan stuff. So what's a sex banchan? It's like banches you can get like you can put people It's like little steps so you can kneel on it or you can lay over it There's like a bunch of different positions. You can get from it. Oh, you got to get a human toilet I've got one of those nice. It's not a human toilet. It's like a thing you sit on and it's just perfect for your butthole is open and if somebody lies underneath it, they can just like chow away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. On your butthole, not poo. Yeah, yeah. Is that what you're asking?

Okay, yeah. Yeah, I'm not that guy. That was the army hammer guy. Nothing I don't know. No, people I mean, wait, that army hammer guy, his family had like a throne with a hole so you can, people can shit on his face. That was his dad. Was his dad. Like that goes, all that deviance goes way back. His dad was the, his dad was the bad one. His dad was the one that got crazy with the money and the jigs.

Oh yeah, but he became pretty fucked up. He wanted to eat some people, right? Yeah. I think he wanted to be peace. It was just verbal poor shit. I feel weird when he get roped into though. It's like, I get all the shit told me, he goes, you want to do something crazy?

And he goes, let's kidnap a kid. Yeah. That'd be fucking crazy. It's just talk. Yeah, just wow. Yeah, it's all this talk. All right, so that's the sex table. Yeah, you can get those things.

And then you just put your friend on there and go to town. It's very comfortable. Bobby, if I got a vision, you in a fuck machine, just getting worked over. I mean, I would mind that. I would take one of those. I don't like, I don't like to want my legs up. That looks a little uncomfortable.

No, this is for the girl. That's for the girl, Bobby. That's what you do. And you put a, and you put a, I just, hey, listen, I'm just learning about this. Bobby, you even don't get, if you get in that, something else is gonna happen. What the fuck, the fuck, David? you do and you put a hey listen i'm just learned about this fuck it if you get that something else is going to happen what the fuck the fuck table yeah man he

getting that somebody's gonna i just say something the one the other fuck table can you go back a little bit scroll down the one fuck table look like a picnic bench that one we can use we can use outside for lunch for lunch like during the day you're right spot on that's that's a multi-function that's right so you mean we don't really need a table. We just need that.

Yeah, we do that. We have barbecued outside then we put inside and then we do a whole fuck session in the fuck-out. Click the article there because it says, the seven best sex benches to buy. I think that's what. I don't know if there was a consumer's report on this thing. Oh yeah. Now there's a lot of different ones.

Most of them are like massage chairs. I'm going to build the fuck-out Get a little a Sibian thing they called, I think they're called cowboys now. I bought one. You get they got like different little things you can put on there. So it's like for girls, you can put like a little knob for guys. It's this like a penis you can put on there and it vibrates and it moves around. But you sit on that and you can kick a goal.

Yeah, really easy. You can what? Kick a goal. Kick a goal. Yeah, it's okay. You can win. That's what I'm saying. Tell me.

So let me, but there's only so much room in the fuck out. We're not making this a fuck palace. It's a fuck hot. So we're gonna have $100. We're gonna have that's nothing. How much land you got? Like come on, man. I think you're in a half.

Dude, can we just build like a, like just get a shit? Yeah, but we got to build it in the's nothing much land. He got like come on I acre and a half dude can we just build like a like just get a shit Yeah, but we got to build it in the in the land. We can't keep him right off the road Oh, okay, I'm thinking we build it in the land on stilts. I see people coming to I get treated by the good idea Keep by the cliff. So if you guys go too far, you just dump them off the cliff Yes, you're right. You got to think of that. These none of these feel like Sex but yeah. Those are shit, these are junk.

We've gone into the junk section. I want to just like, Women's Health magazine. Yeah, that's not, that doesn't do any. Go to the picnic table on that. That's a pillow. That's good. Master series, obedience, extreme sex bench.

That's all right. That's the one right there. The spanking sex bench. Because we could eat lunch on that. Yeah. We could have fun with that. Not a lot of lunch, but yeah. No, we don't either. We don't either. Because we eat each other's asses. We don't could eat lunch on that. Yeah, we could have fun with not a lot of lunch, but yeah No, we don't either lot because we eat each other's asses. We don't have a lot of

I mean, okay now now we're talking yeah, that's what that's what get that and then you can put them everywhere and then if you have More than one because I'll hopefully if it's two of us we'd want to have more than one girl Yeah, nothing was like a drum kit of deal goes it is like Deflippative sex seats. That's the Roland electric drum kit of Dildos. It is like a deflebbet of sex seats. That's the rollin' electric drum kit. The rollin' V-sex version. That's the TD50 rollin' set. That Dildo, that one Dildo set oddly high.

Yeah, that looks like a sword. Because you're on your knees. Jane. And your knees are on the band, on those little platforms. You know what? It's also on all laver over it goes up and down. And that thing clamps over your neck. Yep.

So you can't move while you're getting dilded. But it probably also gives you a little support for your heads, you're not hurting your neck. Because your head's just hanging there after a couple of minutes. That's gonna suck. I tell you what I don't like, I feel like the- I got a bad sciatica too. Is that okay for me? You should get some- no, it's not.

Okay, no. I kind of want to get out of this fuck box now. You can't tear a hammy while we're in mid fuck zone, I guess. I'll be like, dude, my boy is not holding up his, and you might need to go to the barbecue with some chicken winged wire finished these bitches off. I just become the cook of the fuck. Someone's got to do it, dude. If you pull a hammy, I got to keep going. We've got some chicken wings while I finish these bitches off

Someone's got a day you got if you pull a hammy I got to keep going I'm just smart. I got we told these girls. We will get a deliver. We got a fuck out I'm gonna say for this being good and I hate to be a Stickler here, but I don't think those the straps on this thing don't come off very Sex you were done. That's not a good. Yeah, they're like they're like napsack snaps. You know where you push the sides of them Then go put a put six crucifix because that is way better That's an actual product itself. I mean they make people make their own ones, but you get the picture now Can you get these do we have to build this like I key a furniture one day we have to go up to the fuck. No, they said stop-room has like all different kinds of ones. They're kind of expensive. So we're not gonna have to spend a day up there

just building. No, fuck. Anyway, there's splitters in it and shit. That's great. You gotta get those guys to you get one delivered and you deliver it all set up. Yeah, you guys get a pre-fab. Oh, pre-fab fuck fuck. But get dungeon dude like make it dungeon. Yeah, we'll do the Yeah, yeah, go to Facebook marketplace. Everyone get one used That's a ride while you can watch it off. I bought a glory hole off a friend the other day He used it a bunch of times. Yeah, well you bought it. Kids just make a glory hole No, another guy this guy I've been seeing him for a while as the first person I ever knew that had his own glory hole. And it was like, it's got handles on it.

It's got support. He told me one time I was pumping too hard and I broke it. So then he made bigger brackets for it. But it's like a proper, it's all sanded and shit. It's like real nice. So the hole has, it's not, the hole's kind of longs for shorter or tall people, but it's only about this wide, but it's curved like oval. Right.

So it's it's perfect, but he's moving. And he was like, I'm not taking that because I don't want to ship it. Do you want to buy it? And I was like, I don't even like, I'm on the other end, but yeah. All right. So because I shoot a bunch of only fan shit now. So people want to rent it off me. My thing about that.

The thing about the glory hole thing is that I, how is it off me my thing about the thing about the glory whole thing is that I how is it like how how thick is the plywood well that's the thing his one is really thick all right some people a lot of people that have home ones it's a blanket with the thing cut out of it and I'm like did this is like this is jank you know I mean like just get just move the fucking I've ever and stop low. I would have to have a glory hole Quaterange plywood I would need I would need quarter inch or maybe the sanded What do you mean what is it? Well, I'm Jake about the glory hole is a hole I can hang yeah and you were like you might feel like you had a lobotomy

I could tell you some stuff you don't know what a glory hole No, I know what a glory is, but it's usually at a... That's what I was gonna say. It's usually a stationary thing at a place. At a place. I think the last time I was here, I did a Stern Show, and then to celebrate, I went to this little sex store up the road, and they had the booths. And as soon as I went in the booth,

Dixon either side, hands tapping everywhere. So I got a blowjob, I got freaking Climidio from it. Oh, I'm not sure. Is he like Climidio from a guy's mouth? From a blowjob, yeah. That was the last time I ever put my dick in a hole that I didn't know. It was on the other side. So now you bring your own glory all right?

No, no, I was only going to this one. I know who's behind it. Yeah, he gets tested. Right. So if you go to like a movie theater and you do them, most of the people that are there, they want to suck to suck like they don't care who's dick it is So suck and dicks from that okay with that. Yeah. Yes. So that means whoever got whoever came in with one He's giving everybody else. They're okay. Everyone's just there

No, they're doing he's clocking in with his punching in. Oh look at this a photo of it. What is that? That's my glory hole that your glory Oh, yeah, I haven't put it up yet. I haven't been busy. So that goes on a door. Yeah. And then you go on the other side. Right. So the room that it goes in, is that like the guest room?

So if I, I'm gonna give you a husband. That's your room. And then I might see your caulk him through at some point. Yeah. You think is that a hole for a cat? Just here for me. Bobo breakfast is ready.

Kind of. The sex crucifix. Yeah, we should get you a glory hope for the fully loaded tour. Yeah. Yeah, because hey guys, I'm doing glory haul after the show. If anybody wants to meet me, I'll be glory hauling. Yeah, that'd be my other, that'd be my concern

to put my dick through a glory hole. Yeah. That the woman on the other side would smash her nose in trying to get my dick in her mouth. Sorry, did you say woman? Yeah, yeah. I don't go to gay ones. I don't need that. Good luck with that. Yeah, one time I went to one and one time I went to one to somebody's house and it was a girl. she pretending to be a guy and you got unhard No, I'm both. I was like oh shit bonus right. That's cuz I can feel like a girl and I was like what the fuck It can't be like they can get dicks whenever they want right so I start leaning back like trying to like pull my dick further Out to get her mouth to chase it to see what the lip in the nose looks like and I was like with that son of a bitch I'm like man you

could have just told me I would let you do it. She's always a car come firing backwards at her mouth and then a little eyeball looking at her. You knew it was a girl because it was a shitty blowjob. You know you're not that far off percentage wise you know me like I'm at bludgers from chicks and a poet stars and I'm like what is happening? They just want to talk to it a little bit you like that. No, just shut up and suck it It's be passionate until you need to we take a break Yeah, we're gonna break it's been a while

We're gonna break this been a while. Yes. This is great. We're hanging out with Jason Ellis. He's on Hawk versus Wolf with Tony Hawk. Jason Ellis showing of course awesome world. To subscribe to his Patreon and for all stand updates visit the Jason Ellis dot com. It's the Jason Ellis dot com. Absolutely hilarious.

Big Jays gonna be all over the place. He's on that fully loaded to all July. And it's fun man. Then August 10th and 12th, Legion of Scanks will be through 12th, New Hampshire Boston Connecticut for tickets and all other dates bigj comedy dot com and Robert Kelly's gonna be a new Hampshire July 27th to 29th. Probably shopping around for cheap wood to make your fucked on. Yeah, I'm gonna get some T111 and some quarter inch plywood for my So we can have two glory holes because they're gonna work for me to glory holes the wall just gets thicker And one's he's gonna be made by two by fours. Yeah, his will be soundproof. We'll be right back with the bonfire

Uh-huh And now back to the bonfire with big J. O. Creson and Robert Kelly Yo We're back. It's a bonfire, Big J. Ocroson, Robert Kelly, Jason Allison's studio. You know, you're talking about doing, you're doing stand up at the stand tonight? Yeah, yeah. Two shows, yeah. Two shows tonight. It's so funny to hear you talk about how you get nervous about it.

It's a new city. I mean, I get kind of nervous every time anyway, because I'm still new, but a new city means I'm gonna talk about being gay for a second, because that's one of my jokes, and every time I do it in a new city, it's hard to not take the first straight guy face. I see where he goes, what the fuck?

That I, I'm trying to make you laugh, not bum you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Right. And at first I was like, maybe this is not the way to go, but that's kind of all I know, you know, like this is what I, this is what I think is funny. If you give me a second, you will think it's funny too. Just, just get the dick so I can bid out of your head.

You'll be all right. But yeah, every time I'm in a new city, I, I sweat it a little bit, because I don't want everyone to go fuck off You know, but I want to hear this shit. Well when you when you first came out I remember I was watching the video and I've always you know, you're like a crazy dude. You do crazy shit I knew you were sexually You know kind out there whatever and then when you were like yeah, I'm the terms fluid you boomer

Hey man you were like, yeah, the terms flew with you boomer. I was like, hey man. Such a fuck stop, set up. Oh man, that was so unfair. Is out there not determining one. You're pretty out there with stuff. Just for the record, I didn't say that in my head when you did that. I was about to answer you. And anyway, fucking boomer. When you were, you know, you're very fluid. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. did that. I was about to answer you. And anyone fucking boo-boo. When you were, you know, you're very fluid.

Yeah, I did. I said, I don't know. Say that either, you fucking idiot. I hate to wear fluid. You fucking. All right, fine. You're sexually out there. I was gonna say, what was the word I was gonna say?

But I got nervous because I didn't think, and what's ambiguous, is that it? No, that wouldn't be it. What was the word I was gonna use that I had adventurous maybe yeah, that makes most sense because I just I feel like Everyone else is the one with the hangout, but when you came out if I think I thought I thought it was awesome because Here you are you's like this who I am. I don't give a shit. I gotta I gotta live this Yeah, there and and it really I thought it was I to me thought it was pretty fucking amazing when you get that I thought it was awesome the only people it sucks for is people who's asked you kicked

Who were just like machi's most straight guys and then having that like making the revelation later after that because like Getting your ass kicked by Jason Alice like the figure itself. You're like that's not crazy. He's like a tough You know big kind of a scary looking guy. And then you're like, he goes, yeah, kick my ass, what are you gonna do? He's a scary good fighter. And then he goes, he's like, I like to suck dick a lot. He's like, shit.

It's unfortunate that that makes it worse, but that might be why Lewis backed out. That's the little singer there for you. That should have been the bet. If you win, he has to suck you there. I thought about knocking him out. And he sucked and he's dig on video. And then just posting it and be like,

oh yeah, you need no loses, Gator. Oh, we do. What we do. Let me tell you something. I did a thing years ago. You remember the video? Oh, I remember this year. I had to take it down because Lewis was like,

he was doing some NBC thing. He was like, you got doggy. You got to take that video down. But we did a blow job. Oh, it was last comic standing. Last comic standing. Lewis says we're never censoring anything on Legion of Skanks. When I had things come up, when Dave's had things come up, everyone says we've never seen as soon as he goes, I got a callback for last comic standing. He had Bobby go through and remove everything ever we've said on the show. I had this video, we did a blowjob competition where I got a, you know, a dick similar to mine

and I put it through my pants and Bailey J, you know, Bailey J, she's a transgender porn star. Yeah, yeah. Gorgeous unicorn. Yeah. And her and Lewis was supposed to grab it. He went first. Let me do some low job contest. I should have got a dick like a different color dick.

I got a dick that could be my dick so it looked like he was actually sucking my dick. Hey, look real. He sucked, let me tell you, he sucked my dick. He's a competitor. He's a competitor. I'll give him that. He, he, I wish he was the win. I wish you was my real deck. Yeah, he knew it hot pull and foot and then Bob and then reached around wow on it and if you watch the video sounds

like he's practiced. Lewis has Sardak. Yeah, 100%. Most guys are good at sucking dick. They just don't know it. I would assume I'd be great. I feel like girls are probably good at lickin' pussies like even when they don't lick them, they put, because they got one. You know, you gotta kind of know it. You'd be surprised. It's too, it's too. You gotta love it.

If you love eating pussie, you're good at it. But if you know a pussy, then you know what you're licking, and that's gonna go a long way too. And I think that guys, you know, you got one. I feel like you love it, but do you think you're great at it? No, I think you better at that. I do I enjoy it I just like I haven't made I said I'm like I haven't made a girl come from going down on it.

Why? That makes me think that I'm not that great at it. Maybe they're not that gay. You get out of Jay? Because I could be. Jay makes them come. I just throw them over there. I think I am good at it.

I'm good at it too. I beat my ex at Dick's Sucking Thing one time. And I made it. I made fun of her, like right, as it happened. And he was like, wait, I'm gonna come. And I was like, for me! Not her! I was like, how's that feel?

She was like, shut the fuck up. That was pretty funny. Just angry dittling in the corner. That must be wild though, to finally talk about shit that you've always wanted to talk about. It's very freeing. And do what the fuck you want to be, because you're funny with all this gays stuff.

That's hilarious, you finally get to just be funny with it and live your life. Yeah, I mean, it's not exactly like that, but yeah, it's been rocky, it's been difficult, because people still find it, you know. The businesses you're in in the MMA, the... Yeah, I think I lost a lot of fans from talking about. People always still say, like, what's up talking about.

I'm like, I'm not gonna, this is what I am. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna talk about skateboarding too, because I went skateboarding. And if I start to dick and it was funny, I'm gonna talk about it. So, fuck everybody. And that's, you know.

You suckin' a dick, it's pretty funny. I'm not. It's pretty funny Visual is funny. I should be talked about I get it very funny Yeah Doing stuff with guys like long before you came out like was that going on like your whole life? I had but they were really it was like a you killed them So so fair thought about it one time

but just it was like somebody tried to blow me out of nowhere and I let him. And I was like, what the fuck was that? And then I think it happened like three or four times in a 20 year period. And I was like, what is it with me and dude secretly trying to blow me and thinking they're going to get away with it? How do they know? Because I didn't know. And then I was telling somebody on another show today.

It was a trans girl. I took a bunch of exes, went to dinner, big dinner, everybody's there, and this big trans girl really pretty showed up. And as soon as she sat down, she's looking at me. And I'm looking at her, I'm like, is it on? And it's like, it's on.

I'm like, holy shit, it's on, and I'm on exes. So, do you wanna go? She was like, yes, it's on, and I'm on X-C. So, do you wanna go? She was like, yes. So we left and there were other skateboarders there. And one of them was my friend. And then a couple years later in America, he was no longer my friend and decided to out me to everybody and be like, did you know Alice was a Fag?

So I denied it. And then we're gonna, I ended up getting kicked off a team. They called me on speaker phone and they were like, we're kicking you off. You're fat. You know, me and everyone laughing in the background. What year is this? 2000, something like that.

2002 or something. There were fights Mike, Mike Villelli, just got in a fight with him over me. And that was when I was just like, I can't do this anymore. Is that an LA? It was at a contest. And I was so bummed that it was, because I didn't want to fight the guy. I'm not a violent person.

I was like I'm not fighting you for this. Like I don't get why you're doing this. We were friends. Like you don't even have a reason as to why you hate me now. And you're gay too fucker. Like don't think I don't know that. You're the one trying to suck me off. If I didn't say that to anybody till now

Well, I haven't said his name so it doesn't make any difference Okay, but I went back to a straight. It didn't damn Marjaro No, I was like to the straight got on heroin. Yeah, yeah, cuz I was just like I'm done. I'm ducking it And you got you started taking heroin So like and then I got an escalate I used to go after bars I'd go to this real sketchy place where hookers are all addicted to heroin. And I'd get a blowjob for 50 bucks and they would always have heroin.

And I'm like, what's heroin all about? And then they told me to chase the dragon and then it went from chasing the dragon to I got two hookers and was like, you guys should shoot me up. Because I was like, if I die, I think I'm done anyway. Because life was so shit. Sure. I was living in Australia and there was no skateboarders So I was just by myself all the time. So I was like I'm just gonna give up and then I was fucking one of them The other one shut me up and I just passed out and I woke up in a park up against the kids playground toy or whatever

So I could have died and I woke up and while it was empty and I was in this really scary area and I was like you almost died Like you really could have died So I never I was like that's it. Let's get back on track. It was a good thing It was like a rock bottom started skating again got sober X games called me wanted me to be an analysis. I flew back to America and I thought enough time had passed And that guy wasn't such a hot shit anymore so people didn't have to Are you still a bag like I was like I'm not like leave it alone and then Many years after that I got a girlfriend everyone. I'm joined by it was into gays notable extreme sports bag at Jason

Yeah, I mean boy There was a lot of people that wanted to say that before I came out for you. You think it's changed Oh now I mean the culture has Skateboarding is complete. Let's it's I think it's changed now, I mean the culture right now. Skateboarding has, skateboarding is complete. It's for everybody. Skateboarding used to be, we didn't like streetscadish, streetscadish, streetscadish didn't like,

virtues, pool guys didn't like, like it was ridiculous. And now, there's a lot more women in skateboarding. There's gay skateboard teams. The women now are a thousand times better than they used to be. Like the VRT contest, the woman's vote contest now is like legit. People are really fucking good. There's like 12 year old, some 14 year old,

or I think, or 13, did a 720 in Utah the other day. And really? First theme out of the day was 720. 720's are. And Jay both have to pretend like we know what a 720 is. There's like 10 people, there's like 10 people who can do it. Two people who can do it.

So it is. I mean, I have to pretend like I know what it is There's like ten dudes that can do it. I didn't know you were fuckers. How about the poor fans? No, it's 360 twice Yep, you went to school for a little bit. I was I was an addict too. I'm sober right man We have to wrap this up on that but I will say if any drug I'm gonna do if I get stage four cancer Heroin gonna try it. It's pretty smooth. If I get stage 4 cancer It's pretty smooth if I get stage 4 cancer. I'm gonna everybody's dick. It's what my right? That's kind of what I thought I was gonna die so it was very easy to be who yeah, that's how doing it wow It was very easy to be who I really didn't want to die without doing it. I'm glad. I'm glad you are dude

I'm glad you for being so nice about it, man It's good to hear somebody from your walk-a-lot to 100% supported fuck you Jay. I've never I've never I've never under I've never under I He's like he's dead I didn't know he's always hated be here. Do you know what he does behind Yeah, he was scared No, we I know we have a minute left. Um, you're gonna be I'm so blown away by the fact that like some of those your friends would not be your friend because you're What it could they have done he goes so wait that means when we made out that was gay What would make you that man about I just I don't know people are fucking retarded

Hey, everybody I'm serious remember me nice talking to you again. Bye. Jason. Now. This is gonna be performing tonight The stand in New York City Go check him out in the nine o'clock and ten o'clock shows Also make sure you go to Jason V Jason Ellis calm for all the stand updates and tickets Subscribe to his patreon listen to Jason Ellis show Ellis Hawk versus Wolf with Tony Hawk and awesome world Jason Such a fucking pleasure. See you here in New York. Thank you. Kick ass and we will catch you guys tomorrow. Tomorrow. On the bonfire.

On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire.

On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire.

On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. On the bonfire. XM Radio Show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbomb fire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on. I step down your crackle crackle, I stink.

stink.