The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sissy Doodle (feat. Josh Adam Meyers)

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

During massage parlor talk, Josh Adam Meyers reveals that he went on a very progressive date! ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now, The Bonfire with Big. Ocerson and Robert Kelly Doug Absolutely, the cast of Greece too is more attractive than the cast of grease one. I would 100% be with them. Then John Travolta is good looking.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Olivia Newton John is beautiful. So so hot. But there's a reason she's not Michelle Fiverr. Michelle Fiverr is fucking ridiculous. In this movie particularly, and then yeah, that English kid comes to school. I've never seen either of them. What? I've never seen Greece, dude. I've never seen a play of Greece. I've never seen a play of Greece. I've never seen a play of Greece. Let him finish.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Good, but there's something good coming, right? No. I've never seen a fuck of... God, but but there's something good coming right no How dare you why no let's watch it your house one day absolutely you've ever seen a grease one Live from the adding Lucy Louis Louis. is my favorite part. Like no words. Freshments.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Those guys throated you. I love that term. They fucking got through. You know, you know, one of them got yelled out. You didn't have the alcohol. How are we supposed to snag these guys if the booze isn't here? You know these straights want their booze. If they're gonna make excuses for what they do to us All right boy, how about I just give you both a little pet kiss on the cheek. I know they talk to you into something
Starting point is 00:02:35 Something hey you didn't get out of there clean dude. You had to do you didn't you say I'm out you had to give me hug goodbye Hey guys never let you leave without a hug You had to give me hug goodbye. Guys, never let you leave without a hug. Even if a girl's not fucking, if she comes over, you're probably getting a smooch at least. I guess I'm not used to being seduced. I ran the fuck out of there. Low, I love you, but you know you played Truth of Dare.
Starting point is 00:02:56 He probably ripped about 44 haters before he went in or so his breath was straight and Marlboro red and they were like, care no, all. You're meant nothing to them, dude. And I wanna hang out if we had a fucking drink. How hard is it to get to Manhattan over here? was straight Marlboro Red and they were like, care at all. You met nothing to them, dude. I wanna hang out if we had a fucking drink. How hard is it to get to Manhattan over here? Hang out meaning what?
Starting point is 00:03:10 The Manhattan. He would have been gassed away. We always, I think he doesn't even over defend if there was alcohol there that they would have been gassed as possible. No, we're good, but. If they have a 1950s little bar with drinks, you can do it.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I seen Lou Blackout and he gets a lovie-dovey. And I'm telling you, before you know, he's just keep all-head job and Bruce and Chris in their house. Did he like get away from me? Did he get lost like a few weeks ago? We went to like a concert or like something happened and he was just gone for like two days. Yeah, most concerts, he just kind of vanishes from.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah, like he was just gone. So he was. Yeah, most concerts, he just kind of manages for a while. Yeah, like he was just gone. So he was blacked out wandering the streets in New York. He left Cypress Hill. That's every concert. He's just in the parking lot singing Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. Sandy.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Sandy. Why, yai, yai. Sandy, my darling. Sandy, my darling. You hurt me real bad back there. Why was it a pussy house? Never seen this I've never seen any that's crazy. I've never I don't I don't know like well There's a hungry don't get do to let us do to let you do to let do keep talking The junk in my get my get good, oh man, I'm screwed to live, boo.
Starting point is 00:04:25 He's having a feeling of scream. Tastes my cream. In the attic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, young, I had no friends, okay? We moved divorced, I had nobody. My sister kind of went to this weird, I don't know what you goth, it was before goth, but it was kind of goth, and she had- She industrial.
Starting point is 00:04:54 She had got with these- It just KMFDM, whatever. She had a lot of gay guys, and they had like an old, old mobile, they used to call it massing gal, they had a name for it, and they'd all in, they go to Rocky Harapitcher. Because you want to go, you want to drive over in the black church. I've seen, I've seen, I've seen, I've seen, I've seen Rocky Harapitcher show a hundred times. That I've seen, I love that.
Starting point is 00:05:18 But she used to take me to see this all the fucking time. Like I should have forced me to see this. I saw it like eight times in the theater with her and her gay friends. And then they had a house down the street from us and they used to have parties. I didn't know what the hell it was, I was young. And they had one room with just mattresses.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Okay. And I went over to get my sister one day. Good job. I do a fuck party like this. I did. Yeah, and then in, I do a fuck party like this. Same subject. I did, yeah, and then in Selho. Gay fuck party? No, there was some gay happening, but not like.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Oh really? Well, I was getting a blow job in this back room. Nope, a very attractive woman. Okay. And there was a first. There was like a group of people having a conversation right next to the bed. And then I'm like enjoying the blow job.
Starting point is 00:06:04 And then I look up and this this this gay German dude in like in like a latex later hosin. Oh, I can probably do it. That's bad. That's her phone. Oh, yeah He go. I swear to God. It's what he does. He looks at me. He looks at me and he goes Looks like you are having so good time That is a kid. It's pretty cool. Oh You're a fern in your Do you want a shy ener? So you're getting ahead. I'm getting at it. He's like, he looks like you're having
Starting point is 00:06:31 some good time. And I'm like, yeah, it's pretty cool. And he goes, yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's rules. Do I five? No, there he goes. You can't even keep it you know if you're doing it You're like yeah, when he goes you're gonna go yeah You gotta change the energy before it's all you gotta go yeah, dude it rules you can't go Oh, boy, it is really good. Oh, you're right. It feels really good about And then he goes he goes you, you have a nice penis, and then he walks away, and then that was it.
Starting point is 00:07:07 That was it? And then did he jump in place and kick his heels before he walked away? And you've got the nice finger. And he's like, does a dog, and then he got walking. You got yourself a nice dinger. And then we went, and then they had this big introduction where they kind of talked about how much money
Starting point is 00:07:23 this organization has raised, and then they were like, all right, it's time. And then like they had this big introduction where they kind of talked about how how much money this this like Organization has raised and then they were like all right It's like let's start fucking and then everybody starts fucking and then me and the girl break off into another bed And there's a couple fucking next to us and another couple fucking next to us and suddenly we all just become one and it's just like Just like Teddy's here. How do you avoid the other guys like? I know I did because the other guy i think that they raise money they raise money i do something but this is that then like there is a girl here and i go to my four aids it was pro aids
Starting point is 00:07:58 i was raising money to spread aids we have a new veneerial disease for launching uh... it's called g gonna cipher herpoclap no literally i'm laying there and Raising money to spread AIDS. We have a new veneerial disease we're launching. It's called Ghanasepha Herpa Clap. No, literally I'm laying there and I go to grab this one girl's Teddy and then her boyfriend goes, whoa, and I'm like, oh, my bad man. It's like, just fuck it with you.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Here. I'm just gonna show him. Grab that, Teddy. Grab that, Teddy. Pull my balls. Let's get this on. Get this on. He goes, raise the money for kids.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Hey, you can just grab her, Teddy, without sucking this Dude they have you fuck the girl then he comes in he goes that was my wife. You just fuck you. I'm so sorry Well now yo me a little something what's gonna get me out of here safe? You want to throw me How do you think I got this voice I won't be able to talk me this week I got four episodes of ever since my family to recall it
Starting point is 00:08:59 Josh's voice doesn't even throw it in a fucking toilet brush Now we I go to grab her, but I'm in game. Ah! The guy says something and then she's like, no, it's fine and he goes, all right, but just one. And I'm like, all right. And then kind of like, it just kind of like, the almost like, of course, are coming on top of us.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And then me, the girl's like, grab, we should like, let's get out of here. She's like, it's basically about turning to a gang bang and I don't think you're ready for that. You're not ready for it. No I wasn't. Really? I've had a threesome with a girlfriend and her friend once.
Starting point is 00:09:33 And then, one other. Well, I'm not squared, you didn't say the friend was a girl. Weird. No, it was, it was two, it was, it was, it was the big, big girls. So, okay man, hey dude, dude, I was in a room full of mattress. I Luga diddle dinner attic Look at the spit roast about two local parkwears
Starting point is 00:09:57 Might was a people under the stairs incident You got fucking a basement who's fucking in the family room this was like a you were in one bedroom is a bunch of people on a single mattress for charity for charity for charity charity things throwing me off there's don't let it don't heartball it it's like a it's like a group that they have offices like came out of single lot of the stuff domes in new york i think paris london it's a group
Starting point is 00:10:29 i think it's a i don't know the name name but there's a name for it and it's actually very well i like fucked up fucked up thank you can we try my back like you think someone comes out of the the gangbang all sweaty goes over to like one of those like thermometer things and goes
Starting point is 00:10:44 we just hit 10,000 $10,000 everybody How much money were you trying to raise I have no idea. I didn't know they were gonna cost you cost me anything I went with this girl that you didn't even give to the charity. No, you just went the fuck guys Wow, you didn't throw a tip in at the end like I guys is a little I did tip the bartender will I did yeah I took the bartender at the mid 20 but here is the thing after that the girl pulls down on your hands No, no, I never busted. I never busted and then I didn't because the girl pulled me out and then she goes You know what I'm gonna get out of here, and I was like all right. I'll go to and she goes you know what you should stay
Starting point is 00:11:23 I'm like why really she's like she's like it just go up to like a group of like girls or people fucking to be like and just Compliment them and then the way you have has a we go goes her hair. Yeah She's like beautiful Bridget Nielsen Esk and and so she leaves Braylor for the Bobby. Guessy. She's gorgeous so she paid for me she paid for you she didn't pay for anything she's like she's like an elder statesman of the fuck of the of the oh yeah she walks in the people part the way he's not lying like everybody knew her like
Starting point is 00:11:55 it would do seriously it was like people were like oh he's with her like and so but that didn't mean anything let me tell you uh attractive and good at the schmoo's that large desert is a high compliment to her. She has never done penetration pornography of any kind in her whole career and she is she walks around those avian awards everyone knows her. She's and she's very like well-spoken. Oh, she's all compliment. she's such a weak rob low A new one yeah, this April she's on the cover. I was supposed to do an interview with hustler. I think
Starting point is 00:12:38 Yeah, yeah, just they asked for it. You got bumped off for large desert. I maybe You want the cover? The same pose different outfit You want the cover like that? That doesn't disturb like the same pose. Different outfit. It's like, it's just you and a hoodie. So, did you stay? I did stay. By the way, so.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Did you take your advice and you said, walk him away, I like you're bonnet. I wish I, because she was like, compliment the girls vagina or something. I didn't do that. She could be like, hey, you have a very nice pussy. Can I eat it? Or something like that?
Starting point is 00:13:02 How you gonna do that, my girls, get me, and they're like, oh How you gonna have my girls get me? Now she's like, ah, oh you go. What's this charity? You guys know this? You guys have any coffee here? Do you watch last of us? You make the noise in the rear? Hey, what's the charity?
Starting point is 00:13:19 What? What are we giving for? So she leaves and I- Pro-Russia! It's to help Russia get those Ukrainians! Weird, okay. I think that would have been on the fly. And then I kind of wandered around.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I talked to a couple of girls, but nothing really co-elested from that. So I just hate co-elated, you know that so I I think so I don't know Coalesced it because I be honest with you I've never heard that you's ever I'm gonna say I'm gonna say no coalesced the vapors I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say your existence It's from history of the world Okay I got Co what?
Starting point is 00:14:04 Can we can we hear the sound on it past particip come together a form. Oh, yeah You dumb mother fuck us You dumb mother fuck us wow I can tell by this overreaction is the first time it's ever happened to Josh's life He didn't know he was right. Oh! By the way, when she was looking up he wasn't going, of course it's the word you fucking as he goes, I don't think I've ever broken number of things up. I heard that anyone would oppose you saying that he was just used to this. Gregory Hanson, the one who did that.
Starting point is 00:14:36 The white night, white lights. Gregory Hanson. Who the fuck is a Gregory Hanson? He was the first history of the world. He blinds you, dude. But nothing came about. And it was upon. Hey, how long I say something?
Starting point is 00:14:53 You're in there. You're a good looking guy. Thank you. You got charisma. You got charisma. I think you're a charismatic. You're naked. I'm not naked.
Starting point is 00:15:02 What do you have on? I was wearing, I asked her what to wear and she's like just dressing like black Like so I wore like dude. This is what the funniest shit. I just had on black jeans and like this black Not silk but like really nice Not so I don't know anything so good, but it's like a nice button up fabric So to see through no no no like black You have what Apolloni had on and you had her right? That is bad, but she told me she unbuttoned
Starting point is 00:15:29 She unbuttoned and gave me like, what do you call those things at church? Like like Mexican women, the church, the beads, rosary Rosary She gave me rosary Put that Mexican Yeah, yeah, yeah, right And then she put it around my neck and so and so after I couldn't get pussy after like eight or nine rotations around the party
Starting point is 00:15:46 I just sat in this one chair. That's hilarious. It's like holding a Everybody up Josh. I'm a new local vampire in town. Yeah, look at this guy. He was like interview with the Everybody a new local vampire down anybody want to get down He goes I'll have some fun with you I'm not that kind of vampire. I'm Martin I'm looking for a day walk Oh, good noodles So the girl brought you there is fascinating because's like, I've been here, I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:16:27 She, she, people would stay, but she's like, that's it. That's why she's so cool, is that she doesn't like, like she's the kind of person that's like, all right, the party, it's not done yet, but it's about to be, and so she leaves, and then it starts thinning out. But how do you not, I understand if it's a regular party, but how do you not get pussy with a room full of
Starting point is 00:16:45 P.I.T.P. Dude, it's because it's a little intimidating. It really is. I can see it from me. Orgut, but he, I would be the guy. I mean, you know, with a, well, he's wearing that boostie and the black jeans. Boostie, I was not forget. Let's not forget, uh, Josh is all of his qualities.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Do we have them listed? Yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna win them over because I'm good looking. I'm cute, I'm funny, I'm talented. I mean, you're all those two. How is it about themselves? I mean, Josh does. I'm funny, I'm cute, I'm good looking.
Starting point is 00:17:16 I'm talented. By the way, you just doubled up one thing twice. Your talent is funny and you say cute and good looking. Yeah. Well, I was coalesless than something right there. Yeah, whatever I could get. I would come together. I could come together.
Starting point is 00:17:32 So now you're walking around, you do two laps. Two laps, and that was like eight, nine. I tried, man, I really wanted to get laid. What was the closest one you came to? There was a girl I sat with in the dungeon area. Yeah, that's the back room, the dungeon where they beat people with cat and nine nails. Have you taken the judging?
Starting point is 00:17:50 Oh, I went to left, you left. I'll be mad. I'll take it out. The worst part was this guy in this suit that me and Laura were kind of like razzing on a little bit. Because it was like, everybody's like dressed kind of more sexy and this guy's just in a suit. Where I'm sitting there by myself, he comes up and he goes,
Starting point is 00:18:05 you're comedian, right? And I'm like, oh God. This is not to get recognized out of all places. A fuck party where I'm dressed like, you know, Brad Pitt in an interview with a vampire in 18th century Louisiana. You got a dirty mouth. I don't want to fuck you. I want to take my ass, God, and wrap it around your neck. You're comedian, right? Will you say I'm, I'm a balls in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Well, wait a second. And I, and a friend, Zool just left. Zool, Zool, Gozer, Gozer the Gozerian.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And I, and I had taken a Viagra because it was like the idea of like the performance in front of people, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanted to be prepped. So you had a rod, you walk around. It was, you know, it was, it was,
Starting point is 00:18:48 it was, if anything would have happened, it would have been ready to go, but, but I was flustered, I get all read when I take my hand. So the girls in the dungeon, what do you do? Just talk. And then her friend comes up and grabs it. She's like, well, no, we were like, cause you got to do, you got to,
Starting point is 00:19:01 what do I just, go, it seems like it is what you just do. Yeah, it see how you don't if you do it's by the way By the way getting into an orgy and and and joining in like your first moves got to be so funny Go skimmy's getting right here You're initial tongue out you go okay, I was gonna slide it goes okay. Wow this girl's really okay I'm gonna go to work nips You can do a fight. I'm excuse me. I'm down here That would hurt my feelings so much if I was if I was if a gangbang stop so she can go
Starting point is 00:19:34 So everybody goes who are you? I thought we were all I thought it's gonna gangbang Yeah, I'm gonna fight over this I thought I thought it was gonna gang back then. Yeah, people I invite over. I thought, if you were supposed to start the kissing, it goes, excuse me, what's that? What the fuck are you doing? I thought we're gang banging?
Starting point is 00:19:54 We're not gang banging? We're gang banging. I don't know you. Who the fuck are you? I came with Laura Zazoo. I don't know. I came with Zoo. The older stageman, they go,
Starting point is 00:20:05 well, why are she? She left, said I could stay. I put a nine grand father in. So what if the people doing stuff and just go to? Well, that was, I've told that before, that was one swing or club. I went to with Carla where we just like watched the, it was a black couple that kept starting the fuck.
Starting point is 00:20:24 And then just like a white guy who paid to come to himself and he was just pacing until they would start fucking and they would squat down and just start pounding his dick. Oh, there was a black guy that would turn around be like, yo, dude, stop. I think I'd be like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And then he would just like wait for him to make out again. He would just pace around and then he would just start doing it. It was like a dog not listening to instructions. Face net what the, it's not like what's supposed to be like they just didn't want that guy jerking off to him.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah he wasn't. Listen I'd have to assume almost what have it with me and Carla too because we went to the strip it's a strip club it's two blocks from our house on Queen's Boulevard and one night we were driving home we were like yeah we just go to the strip club for him it'll be fun. She was like yeah sure we'll go over there and when we go when they were the couple walking and they were like, oh you guys know it's like downstairs You can go. It's free for couples Whatever a hundred bucks for dude to go by himself like the downstairs is like a swingers club
Starting point is 00:21:16 And we're like, yeah, we should go it's free. Let's go downstairs and check it out guys are conservative. Yeah, we went down Down the basement area where it was. It was like another dance club almost, but it was fucking empty, except for this single guy, that black couple, a bartender, and a sterno of baked ziti. Did you have this ziti? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Yeah. Big old bucket of palm cheese next to it too, because it was dry Someone told me it was out and there wasn't a lot of people there But yeah, it was two people and a guy that was watching them fuck that was like the only people down there And then when I went to the one The plate was retreated down here when Carla bartended a party Once fully clothed, but they were like when I came done when I was done doing spots. They were like She got on the bill. Yeah, you can come like just like hang out with you
Starting point is 00:22:08 So I hung out with her and like we watched like the smugglers but I have there's people fucking like all around us It does seem like a weird. I don't know. It's not my world. I'm in the pretty deviant ship But not I'm not until like a let's all fuck up. Why are there rules? Why are there rules though? I don't like you're fucking right? Fucking is like you're the thing you You should be able to just jump in and start looking some pussy. That's right. I thought that's what I thought. But it's what the fly is in.
Starting point is 00:22:32 I think in 2020 at all, Jay. Well this was fluid. This was, I moved here, I said it's like 21. No, no, no, no, no. Either early 2022 or late 2021. That's a lonely night. You had to go to a diner by yourself and get like a club sandwich and call like nine comics in a row and just try to get yourself a steam back.
Starting point is 00:22:53 You got slumber drawing with your hand. She's got a half hard cock. Eating french fries. There was some, there was so many hot girls there though. I mean, like for real, like there was like, there are no really bad looking people. Guys and girls, everybody fucking was like, you know, they're the good. If me and Jay went there,
Starting point is 00:23:10 they would change the whole dynamic of, I was like, there's almost gonna ask, I mean, wow. I don't know what the fuck that was. I'm just, okay, I'm just gonna back out of this. I'm just gonna shoot out. Good, that's the question, good.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Wow, the whole dynamic of the fuckedo would be changed. I got it. That's a good question. Good. Wow. It's a question. The whole dynamic of the fuckedo would be changed. What do we have to go to a different fuckedo? Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm one so home, maybe one in like flatbush. What are the flash, what a fuckedo? You guys are at the Yonkers fuckedo this weekend? Bobby, we mean to get our,
Starting point is 00:23:42 when we knew get our Fupa's Fuckin's White Fus option, we're gonna be the king of swinger parties. Yeah, we have like Star Wars, but we still have a fool who's a doll. You got to tell Dawn and Christine, you can't keep these fucking flat fupas home. Good luck. Yeah, wait, do we get a... I'm showing off my flat dick top. Yeah, we're getting our fupa belts and then put those fuckers, tie them back. Oh yeah, fuck surgery, we're gonna make fupa belts.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Look at the fupa belts, man. We're gonna make a million dollars and get our dicks back. What are you doing? There's gonna be some version of tight underwear where the hole for your dick to comes through. So it really just lets it, it's all just door-king. I love that, it's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:24:16 And there's a special option. A special option where you can tie rope to the back of it and tie that to a door handle and lean into it. Yeah, really, it really pushes everything back. It's really just lean in into it. Yeah, really push everything. Just lean in and it's dry. Yeah, technically your dick is eight inches in front of your body. You go, all right, I gotta stay tethered to the doors.
Starting point is 00:24:35 You gotta do a lot of the move and baby. You're leaning forward like that. You're going up the ski jump. Just like leaning into it. Just like leading it to it. You got to go to a party like that, Louis, and stuff just kicking it with gay guys and their addicts. This is an apartment that they just built into this whole. This is probably a $8 million apartment.
Starting point is 00:24:57 It's so whole. $9 million dollars are the gizz on the floor. No, it was gorgeous. Like it's... Like don't worry, Bosco cleans in the morning. Bosco, I'm here to sweep up all the comments. This was a big one tonight. I told you I went to I feel like I'm not a sex party. But remember I told you I want to look at a gentleman's club that you had to have access to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did tell you a story where the stripper had a conversation with her.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Turns out she was like a dancer at the Met. But she liked me because I was being nice, not just being in a guy right next to me. He's like, babe, a little less yapping, a little more grinding. So she took to me is like, babe, a little less yapping, a little more grinding. So she took to me. But on one floor was the strip club, which was, this was a big apartment, basically, on the next floor, you could have a tailor made suit done by an Italian tailor. What? And another level was a, a-estation gambling casino is it New York City?
Starting point is 00:26:08 yes, because there's a lot of you got candles made to make your own candles? friend of a friend. I shouldn't have been there. If you would have told me I didn't know I was going doing this we're going to this place and then I walked in it was insane. I'd never seen such wealth and to a beautiful people. People. Yeah. But guys with just money to burn. It's a money. It's the same place. Do you, did either one of you guys do spots at New York comedy club during the pandemic? Rented out that loft or there was like a place outdoors
Starting point is 00:26:42 where they were showing. I know. And if you stopped on like the floor right below where the comedy club was, it would open up and like a guy with like money would get off usually into that room. And there would be like girls and like kimonos and they were all hot. And I, Is that a fuck, is that a fuck dome?
Starting point is 00:26:58 I think so. I think it was a fuck dome. It's not a fuck dome, definitely like a fuck, you know. Rooms. Instead of New York, the building next to it. I think it's out there anymore now It's all the tj max right where we're just closing up by the way the marshals. Oh really? I'm a business I was there this weekend, but the
Starting point is 00:27:15 Upstairs next to St. Newark. There used to be a jack shack place and then everybody on the weekends We were there all the time. We'd wait from the walk out of the place and everyone's like on the weekends, we were there all the time, we'd wait from the walk out of the place, and everyone's be like, there's a clap for them. That was a good one, it's stupid, right? Like you're sitting on this,
Starting point is 00:27:29 you didn't have a clap. Literally, guys would walk out every time you were down, meaning Christina because you're smoking cigarettes or whatever. And just the guys would come, they always have the address and they're like, you can see them look at the building like that,
Starting point is 00:27:38 get that extra-sister look. You're like, it's the right place. Yeah, one of those at my cigar bar downstairs, the cigar lounge room I remember downstairs is a jack jack. Definitely one. A hundred percent and they come out and they all have their hoodies on. Like old guys wearing hoodies.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I, Jack check sounds like a great idea. I just, if it's not known that it's a jack check, I will never bring it up. I couldn't bring it. I would go and just get an actual massage from a bad masseuse. I was the worst because I would be like you know if they don't say like hey you're like. I don't go like a hey because I so Carla my ex's mother is a massage therapist but a real one yeah like sports medicine, massage therapist. And she says that she's been asked infinite times
Starting point is 00:28:28 for the jerk called guys all day. Every guy thinks most massages do involve a hand job. When you go to massage place and they go near your butt at the end, you don't arch your back and immediately get on all fours. I never go to massage place, but I like, I always, I guess, she touches your ass and you just go up, playing this game.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Yeah. Flip over. I always just let you're asking you just go up this game Flip over I always just let over when I lay a milk milk like a small cow I always pull my dick and balls out and have the legs wide So just so it's already right there and you can see if like but this is not on when you're like stop Yeah, yeah, I do that when I'm home alone Sorry, little I do I'm home alone a lot when I'm actually you guys said that We're laying in a stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that when I'm home alone. Sorry, Lou. I do that when I'm home alone a lot. When I'm actually, I said that when I'm in a hotel room,
Starting point is 00:29:10 it's actually, I sleep panceless. I whack off before bed. And then when I flip back over to Lila, I have my time, time, and watch TV. For comfort and also, it was funny. I push it down. I grab my balls from the back and really give them a good stretch. So they're out. Yeah. And then I The only bummer is is my weener gets smaller and my
Starting point is 00:29:32 Is it shrinking down my old man balls? It's all like you know The dick will be like laying past the balls a little bit. Yeah pointing down as you dick it's smaller like the balls Just take it over the Clanshop and that doesn't feel good either. You dick like a co-hog. Literally, literally next to my apartment, where I live now in Manhattan, there is a, what's it called, Jacksack?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Stop attending. No, for sure. I've got a masturbation palace. We get you wee wee tubs. A jerk. I've always jerked something. That's the middle of the country. I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you,
Starting point is 00:30:08 I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you,
Starting point is 00:30:16 I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you, I'm in there and that was where the place where the girl is like she's jerking me off and she was like she's like next to your apartment here next to my apartment she goes do you sperm quick I was like sperm you're not now do you make muck quick make muck yeah you finished it out fast but every night at like at like two three in the morning when I get home and I walk the dog there's always a guy waiting out front dressed pretty nice or in like the fucking,
Starting point is 00:30:49 like you said, the Jacksack attire, which is like, you know, some Adidas breakaways and like a hoodie. And I always want to say something to him. I always, like, I always make eye contact because they're always like, they see me. I just want to say, I want want to be like going to get you doodle Scoodle and see what they say You know I checked all I like the ones in New York. I don't I don't know if they have them anymore, but they used to have fancy ones Where you were treated like a millionaire Like in the pencil venue hotel on floor. I think it was two and a half They were two and a half long and you walked in and and they took your stuff and you put it in a locker and you went in and got a steam and then you got a sauna and then you got a table shower and then they
Starting point is 00:31:35 would take you into this nice room and they were, they were all dressed really nice and they got a really nice, really good 45 minute massage and then at the end they'd tick a little butt and then you know, you'd pretend like, oh my god. And then it really over and you'd be like, I don't know. Me and Kevin Hart, me and Kevin Hart on, I think it was 9-11, went to a jack shack and it was the only experience with like chicks or something like that. Things hit the building. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Wow. We played basketball at that time too. We all did Things hit the building. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we played basketball. I think we all did. We all did. It was stressful. Definitely. No, definitely. It wasn't 9-11.
Starting point is 00:32:10 It wasn't 9-11. 9-12. No, it's 9-11. I remember I was, my thing was actually I was just our dating car, like just our dating her and like was called. I couldn't get a hold of her. And I was like, she was on a train. She was on a train.
Starting point is 00:32:21 She was on the train to, no, I think we ended up playing basketball in line eleven, though, still just like to kill, we're like, we have to do something, everything was so scary. But we went, me and Kev did go to one time, no place. And an older lady came, or no, like, yeah, an older lady answered the thing, an older Asian lady, and I was like, oh, and then they brought out one pretty pretty girl and I just like slid into that one real quick. I'm like, oh, her. And then, uh, Kev goes, is there another girl or is it just you like to the lady? And she was like, just me and it's an older lady. And I remember going to the shower room. Um, like, I was in the shower room. I don't know what they did different with Kev. Like, I was already done the shower room. I was in the shower room. I don't know what they did different with Kev.
Starting point is 00:33:06 I was already done the shower, and in the thing getting the massage or whacked off. And then all of a sudden, I hear Kev go, seems hot. It seems hot. When they were doing his table shower thing, the water was just scolding hot. So here goes, it goes, it seems hot.
Starting point is 00:33:22 No, it's hot. Ah! Ah! And then I see Kev, little Kev, we're not naked in the hallway. He's like, man. So here goes, it goes, it seems hot. No, it's hot. Ah! Ah! And then I see Kevin little kid running naked in the hallway yelling, he's like, man, at the lady goes, she's burning! It's hot there, I'm like.
Starting point is 00:33:32 That's where he does that cold tub show now. He's never again. That's his never again. I did one in San Francisco up near Berkeley. And you go into this place and had a dragon door. Like a custom wood, it was crazy. You knock on it, nothing happens. All of a sudden, you hear a little rustling inside,
Starting point is 00:33:51 a bunch of people getting ready, and then the door's open, both, and it's Smoking Hot Asian Ladies in Evening gowns. All lined up, maybe 15 of them. I love this. And you kind of scan it, and the last one was a Smoking Hot White Chick, Barbie type California girl in a dress.
Starting point is 00:34:08 And I just went like this. I was like this. And then I went, her. And all of my doll style, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. I'm laying up. Bullshit.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Because every dude walks in and goes, fuck, they'd hurt her. Really? I take the Asians. Smoking this girl was, dude, this girl was no joke, a 10. I've never seen a girl in a place like this. Smoke and hot, she took her top off, one of her scissors, and she pretended like she liked me.
Starting point is 00:34:33 She was like, oh my God, you're so adorable. You're so cute. How are you here? You shouldn't be here. And she was just like, I like you. And then she goes, you might if I take these out, and she took out perfect, seek up titties. And then she was rubbing them on me. And she was like, oh my God, you might have taken these out, and she took out perfect sea cup titties, and then just rubbing them on me.
Starting point is 00:34:47 And she was like, oh my God, you're so adorable. And then she actually kissed me like that. Just a little one, not tongue-ridden, like that. I was in love with it. I thought she really liked me. Like I was fighting my friend. She gave you a peckis and spit in a little worm of other guys, geez.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Ah. That was my two o'clock. You look at a little nugget still. Yic. Yeah, that was smoking hot. She was great. There was one above the, you know, the one near the comedy seller, right?
Starting point is 00:35:18 The massage place. There's one near the car coming up. It's a real massage place. Oh, like the reflexology and all that stuff. It's just basically a room with curtains and there's tables and it's a real massage place. Oh, like the reflexology and all that stuff. It's just basically a room with curtains and there's tables and it's a real masseuse. But it's like, it's just a storefront basic. Yeah, but here's the trick how you get him to jerk it.
Starting point is 00:35:31 You're gonna whack off and you hear people outside talking shit. Right, go gay. If you want to get him to jerk you off, even if it's kind of one of the real places, you're just gonna go two hours, just legs. Just legs. Just go two hours, just legs.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Just legs. Just legs. And they go up to you, but no, no, just legs. Just legs. Just go two hours, just legs. Just legs. Just legs. And they go up to you, but no, no, just legs. Around 25, 30 minutes in, they're like, oh, they just start to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get out of here. Two hours, just legs.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I want to make some. You know, it's fucking hilarious when they start jacking you up for you to go, ah, blah, blah, blah. Is that a leg? Legs. Yeah. Understand English.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Legs, lady. I'm trying to get whatever I did at New York. Maybe once in New York. Yeah, I did once in New York because it was the only not Asian thing I've ever gone to. It was like Russians or something. Now it was weird. How Eastern promises of you. Yeah, now it was like another one that was just like odd.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Back in the day before the internet When you went to a massage party it was everybody black Spanish white Chinese now. It's just Asian, but back in the day I remember there was a place on the east side you'd have to go in and They'd hand you a newspaper and you had a sit in the chair and hold the newspaper and you got a number and if you put the newspaper down You'd get kicked out you had to hold it in front of your face It's not see other people you don't see anybody So you're sitting in this lobby with other guys and they go number three and you put your newspaper down And they go go down the hallway and you stand in the hallway and women would walk up Hey, I'm I'm Sherry and they'd spend and walk and it was like four or five women would walk up and spend red head
Starting point is 00:37:01 Black chicks would walk up and spend redhead black chicks. That's where Jackie Chan goes. That's where Jackie Chan probably goes. It was, I mean, but it was awesome. And then you go in the room and whatever you wanted to do, you could do. You had to negotiate it. But it was, I mean, I made love to a couple of girls.
Starting point is 00:37:18 I'm Frank Glenn. I'm Frank emotional connection. Dude, I'm Frank Glenn. My Frank Glenn, we could probably click on the phone. My Frank Glenn asked a few of them them the sentence. He said the sentence. Let me get you away from all this My last time I went ever to one of those places was It was so we went to the place we'd always go 15th and keg like always we went there five times total, but like I Thought I was a regular. I loved it. I thought it was such a great deal. And then I was in the
Starting point is 00:37:49 waiting room Drinking I love they give you a nice little remember the mini bottles of Canada dry. Oh, yeah cold ice cold Tiny round ones little fat little fatsy how I met you a cock would be Never seen I think the cock will be a little fatsy how I met you a cock would be never see it I think the cog will be a little mini It's all with zero leg until we get that belt that belt done then all the guns gone But we were I was remember sitting in the Waiting room. It was like a wait and we decided to wait, which is weird in general. It was the only time.
Starting point is 00:38:27 On the TV, Comedy Central, I'd started comedy already. It was maybe like 19 or 20. And in the green room, that's a green room, hilarious. The lobby, they had a TV on with Comedy Central on, showing, and I have reminded them of this often, Todd Barry's half hour special. And when I was watching that, I was like, he's really funny and I got to of this often Todd Barry's half hour special and when I was watching that I was like he's really funny and I got to meet him kind of a thing I'm like this is neat and then a door just opens up not a door where people are fucking just like a door that's off
Starting point is 00:38:57 through a lobby and I saw like the 15 mattresses on the floor. Oh, God. And the girls just kind of like basically just like laying on them that aren't. By the way, in like dresses and hot, looking the part, but literally just like sitting there all watching like a shitty tube TV together. It's a hot pan with a fish head in there. It's hot pan with a fish head in there. Oh.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It was pure sex slavery and you were like, oh, this is that one. And you're like, I'm like, oh, when she back on the clock. I took, I took burners first one in Boston. It was called the Old English Health Club. I think when they have trickery names. I found it and it was in Cambridge and you had to go downstairs and you got a number and it was like a receipt and you had this receipt.
Starting point is 00:39:47 So you'd have to go downstairs, go to get a locker, get into a robe, flip flops, sit in the room, and then sit there. When a girl came in that you liked, you would run up and give her the receipt and that and she'd be like, okay, she'd take it and that would be your girl. But it was kind of weird because not all the girls came out one at a time sometimes. So, you know, ugly check would come out and people would just be waiting. And then, kind of, like, yeah. She was a little spit on the day before you go.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Nothing, man. And the hot check would come out and got like a stock exchange would just run up. And she'd look and just grab one. And he'd be like, ah, shit. But I remember I took Billy to one of those. Before he went back to New York when he first met New York. And he, it was so funny, dude, because you know Billy.
Starting point is 00:40:32 What do I do, to? What do I, the fuck, I'm not doing that. And then he did it, got in his bag, he had one of those big army bags. You know, he brought it down, there was like those big duffel bags. Yeah. So uncomfortable. And then he called me, goes, that was like those big duffel bags. Yeah. So uncomfortable. And then he called me because that was the best bus ride I've ever taken in my life. He went back to New York on the Greyhound.
Starting point is 00:40:52 This is perfect. Oh, he moves here before you. Yeah, he moved there before me. I love that. That old English house was the best because it was all kinds of girls. Yeah, we didn't even call, we didn't know the name of our place. We called it 15th in Calahill. That was the cross streets. And that's what me and Keith Robinson and Kevin say to us, I'm going to hit 15 in Calahill before we go up to the city today.
Starting point is 00:41:13 We go, yeah, maybe. But we go up there. That was also another thing that come out. Like, sometimes the girls would come out. I'd get lucky. The prettiest girl would grab me. And then, by the way, could say this to make them feel better or out. I'd get lucky the prettiest girl would grab me and then By the way, could say this to make them feel better or whatever we get alone in a room and then she would go this happened more than once She goes, yeah, I take you a black guy's a too big. Well fuck you What do you think it was because you're a normal eyelashes? Yes? You come onings? I thought she thought me but I was gonna tip better or something. I don come on, I thought you thought
Starting point is 00:41:45 people was going to tip better or something? I don't know. Guys have gone together. I've only gone once with another person. And he went, he was another common. If you're going to do it, you got to do it together. If we go by yourself, it's almost creepier. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I went with Doug David off in LA. And I'm sitting there in my room and my girl. All of a sudden the door opens as Doug with just a towel around his waist. He goes, Bobby, I need $20 more dollars. Oh, why'd you get the news? New York is better than mine. And he's just like, right there. He's like, yeah, where'd you get that one?
Starting point is 00:42:14 I was like, get the fuck out of here. He's like, I had to give him $20 bucks. Be it. Whatever he negotiated, he needed $20 more dollars to get a whatever. Good God. Hi. Well, so that's also the 15 in Calahill, the difference was they, for sure, they fucked you. That was a straight up whorehouse.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Yeah. Sex for you. They used to bang. They said. 75 bucks. Next door is the whorehouse for sure. Because I, I paid 150 for a hand job. What?
Starting point is 00:42:40 What? Yeah. And it's 250, I think, to get a blowjob. No, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're gonna pay the house fee. Yeah, the 40's 250 I think to get a blowjob You can pay the house fee the 40 bucks or whatever no the house fees like like 60 or 70 Okay, 60 bucks then what's the other $100 for the ban job? No At least it's 40 dollars is a respectable place isn't some old English old emits Oh, you think that's doesn't sound respectable old emits grill Listen that you're a mark. Listen. You got it. You're a mark. You're a mark. Josh you're a mark. You overpaid
Starting point is 00:43:08 Listen, the most you should pay is 110 no, I know that in LA. That's how I pay Josh 250 It was in the high inflation 250 right now. No, I paid one fifth. But in my case, I'll do it for 140. I'm telling you 250, maybe even 150, they'll come, if you're just getting jerked off or your dick sucked, we'll come to your house. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:33 For that price. That's right next door. So I mean, you know, you're so positive. Yeah, I'd be so positive. Well, it was, it was, it was, it was, turn that frown upside down. It was, it was a nice, like Tuesday. And I was just like, let me go check out the neighbors and then I and I kept calling
Starting point is 00:43:47 Because you have to you have to call to make the reservation you can't just like knock on the door You have to call and then the woman called me she's like are you coming you call all the time and I'm like yeah, I'll come She Irish Well you're coming down to get your to your to your to your to your to your school to come on me I'm gonna take a shillani and rather tough stuff comes out like luck And then and then the woman the door opens and this like pretty cute, but 100% MF'd out like Asian chick with things all go together. Ah, yeah, dude. You can't be pretty cute But the Asian looks like a fucking it's like a grudge ghost
Starting point is 00:44:24 She came out of the television Asian looks like a fucking it's like a grudge ghost She gave a really hurt the jerky hand job So but then she pulls me into the room and she's fine black. No, she... You must find my mother. My... He's my neighbor who killed me. You must tell people. All right, baby. Well, first of all, don't you give me a little slap around the to-doodle. How much was that $400,000?
Starting point is 00:45:03 All right, there you go. Yes, she goes how much is the wag-bioff? Even the ghost goes Tell me what the dummy look the pricing dummy Christine Christine got me Christine. Christine got me a gift certificates because I never go get massages ever. I don't like them. And Christine got me a coupon for a bunch. We should go and see if they'll whack me off. I don't think please don't ask. Why do you go there all the time? Two hours. Two hours just wait. You're trying uh this guy actually was a trainer for the New York Knicks for a while you go is he jacking people off hey how much to whack me off just legs you
Starting point is 00:45:58 think you're saying I it's not women it's men who do it there both the whack me off yeah would you get it would you get it? Would you get a hand job from a dude but with like a wig on? No, I love you. Keep you had the stuff. Yeah, but with a dude, but he's got boobs wearing Victoria Secret Angel. Yeah, he feels like a woman inside. He's got him. He's got blush dots on his jeans. He's sitting at Crawford mall. Those are Wiley Coyote dresses up like a woman. He has no muscle toe on him. He's like a bot.
Starting point is 00:46:30 He's like that Gremlin with the big lips, you know, with the fucking wig. I took it too far, so I had to have a very good grip. Did you ever go with a trans woman? I've looked up with a trans girl. Oh, you did. I did. He did, and he, I'm glad you're just coming the full terms
Starting point is 00:46:43 because I thought it was post-op. And was like no he goes it was just a little tiny thing but i go did you play with the dinger at all and at first he was like no i told you i was like i know i'm i i rubbed her dick a little bit yeah what i have a cute stopper second what so where was this l.a LA no here in New York? You did in New York and did you meet her or did you pay for on a dating app? Oh, you met her on a dating app, and it didn't say she was Trans-sac
Starting point is 00:47:11 Josh tells me Josh tells me about 100% of date he goes on how they end and every sexual detail it happens I find that about this a week and a half ago. That's not true I also told you this in front of true. I'm not embarrassed at all. I'm not embarrassed, but I'm saying I genuinely, well, it's insane. Here's why I didn't know. Well, I don't remember knowing. I'll tell you why, because if not,
Starting point is 00:47:36 everyone who ever talks to me would know this fact about you, because that's how I operate. I tell everything about everything. So everyone would know you sucked off a guy. I didn't know I'd not suck off a guy. That's how I tell it. You can't tell me how to tell your stories. I asked you a question. Yeah, of course. You answered me honestly. Oh well. When she took her packer out, will you disappoint it in the size? No, it was small. It was a little sissy deck. You were disappointed. I loved it. I loved that. It was small.
Starting point is 00:48:03 You didn't want it to be a big deal. did not want to hog no we we differ on this one a lot I would say I'm not in the trans at all but if I was going that route man you got to bring me a hammer I want to see one it's just like I can't believe you chose to be a woman I'm getting a Sunday I'm gonna get a big Sunday I'm not gonna get the little small Sunday yeah I want that I'm gonna love it a cold scoop cream or yeah I didn't want to fuck it. Or, if I ate many Reese's peanut butter cups, I have to have 10 of them. So I could have a little trans dick,
Starting point is 00:48:31 but I got to get gangbed by them. Hey, the man has a great other question. When you dittled it, how did you do it? Did you flick it? Kind of like a treat. Like a weezy. Like a weezy one? What is this? No, I'm sorry. You're trying to make a meatball on a counter? Did you flick it? Kind of like a treat, like a weezy. Like a weezy. Kind of like a pussy.
Starting point is 00:48:45 No, I was trying. Did you try to make a meatball on a counter? Did you ask it? Did you ask it questions? Will I make it? A wax on wax off. Got it, like, roughly. Did you like a magic a ball or a dionetics?
Starting point is 00:48:58 I tried my best to treat it like it was a pussy. How did you do that? You were like, I licked it, I sucked it, I fucked it. I went one, two, three, it took three licks to get to the center. I ate it, I jerked it off one of my face, I made it squirt, just like a pussy. Wait, you've got to squirt the other,
Starting point is 00:49:19 I came in it. So you didn't, and you don't have to tell me. Bobby, you're not stopping us, Mel. Did you, did you put it in your mouth? No, did not look at me. I swear to God. Okay, look at me though Did look at me? Don't make any moves just answer the question. Yeah, okay, stop moving. He said yeah, the answer chest Okay, you did put it in my not look at me. Did you put it in your mouth? How did you lick it? I did not what?
Starting point is 00:49:41 Did not did you taste it? No, Josh like an ice cream. No, I Lick your head. You give your hand a big lick before you fucking needed it Woman she get a roused you dude all women come on your back when they're finished Right Lou woman she get her roused you dude all women come on your back when they're finished right Lou she did not come well now did she she didn't get hard too hard a little yeah I mean it was a small dick how was there nuts we're big not small nuts now like great great reddit thread by the way trans getting fucked in the ass and then they just start spurting because they're getting fucked in the ass Fun one
Starting point is 00:50:28 What the fuck trans girls getting butt fucked. Yes They also have boners sure And so when they're getting butt fucked their dick starts spurting without touching it when you fuck I didn't fuck her science. She gave me a blowjob. That's it. We made out. Yeah, because it wasn't No, wow She put it in I For a minute I was very Uncomfortable about my own butthole because I like it was an outie. She's like oh you know
Starting point is 00:50:58 I have hemorrhoids that I'm getting removed right now. Yeah, you know in her country. That's like a delicacy Yeah, they frown those up with the tarantulas and rants. I didn't tell you what her ethnicity was. So it was just regular white chick. It was not a white chick. Yeah, a small dick. Small dick. Really?
Starting point is 00:51:13 She's your face. Pardon? She's sitting on your face. No. No. So she just sucked the off. Did you put the balls in the dick and your mouth at the same time? Not at... I didn't put it in my face.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I feel like there's a puzzle. That's the gift for me. You made out that. You made out. Yes, we made out. You made out. It's a woman. It's a puzzle. So you get the right answer. You made it out. Yes, we made it out. You made it out. It's a woman. It is a woman. It was a woman. Everything about her was a woman.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Except she had a little Scoodle. She had a ding dong right there. She had a little like. Do you gonna go back and see her? No, we just got a lot of fun. No, we just lost touch. It was a, I don't wanna say the dating app. It was a dating app that, you know, it just, my schedule lost touch. It was it's it was I don't want to say the dating app. It was a dating app that you know, it just my schedule,
Starting point is 00:51:47 my schedule is too hard to like maintain a good relationship that is hard. Yes, and the only thing is hard to maintain. Yeah, dude, I'm proud of you. Me too, thank you. Me too, dude. I don't know, it's 2023. Everybody's a little gay.
Starting point is 00:52:01 No, no, no, I would never do anything like that ever. In fact, but I have people who love me who have to look in their face. I have a have a son in a wife. Hey, I don't care if it's 2027 Thanks, man. I don't care if it's the Jetsons. I'm not sucking some chick's dick Put your girl weer in my mouth Oh, those knives ball coming on the walls Dude, you wanna fuck to pour this hand Now get that little pussy wiener over here and
Starting point is 00:52:36 Pack fuck my chest Damn, you got a pack cheek stick She packed fuck me a little bit. Yeah, get a girl. Peck fucked me. Put the hot dog in the bud. Crack, crack, crack, crack. You let a rubber wiener between your butt cheeks?
Starting point is 00:52:54 Not in. I'm not following you now. Did she come? No, she did not come. I can't. Oh, real flat lever, dude. Not cool. I know.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I think if she came, that's how you know it's a guy You're like bro, that's on you to come You're just oh you're pretty lady you're pretty lady and then you come and you go be it queer Did you come yes, I did okay here in your mouth on her dick in her mouth really? It's a great blowjob probably washed down a rib-eye steak she had earlier This is guy food. She threw a chal back in I think I think the bucks played the lake is denied Giannis went off if you wouldn't mind I got to get some sleep. I'm going for PR at the gym.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Give me a favor, pass me that beef jergit. I gotta get some protein in here before. Damn things doing the way. Man. Good for you. Thanks man. That's great man. I've thought different of you every day since I've heard it but.
Starting point is 00:54:00 No, that's fine. Yeah, I don't want to leave. You've done questionable gay shit too. No, I've fine. Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna leave. You've done questionably gay shit too. No, I've done extremely gay shit, not extremely, but I've done gay shit, but in nature of humor, publicly things like that only. Like I've never just done like, I've never been like, hey me and my friends
Starting point is 00:54:20 are wack each other off. Yeah, you're a joke queer. When I was, yeah, joke queer for sure, great term. But when I was younger, I definitely did the jerking off in the same room, dark room, but before bed, if a friend was sleeping over. It's experimenting, that's nothing. I thought that was something, I thought I was gay,
Starting point is 00:54:37 and then I went to rehab and I was like, oh, it's not gay. Everybody was like, oh, this is gay. Oh, what? That wasn't gay, dude. This is gay Just what is going on this rehab party The red thing before the break and now it's an hour later. Hey, hey, hey. And we did the thing at all.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Settle down. I know you like little dick, but I lost some weight. Sissy dicks. Get it right. There's a term for it.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Sissy dick. I like it. Nice, nice. You should get a shirt there. That should be a band name, Sissy dick. Sissy dick. You're my first comedy record. Sissy dick. Sissy dick. Get band name sissy dick sissy dick name's comedy record sissy dick
Starting point is 00:55:26 sissy dick get you little sissy dick in me not me you're not getting sissy dick and Louis C.K.D.C. dot com Christine go to reddits uh... big dick girls
Starting point is 00:55:38 and i want you to tell me we'll look at faces first there's one girl let me see if it's supposed to be face and t let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, would let you would suck them off let's say that we have to put it in our mouth. What's the last two evils sucking it off we're getting fucked by all of them. I'm in. I'm out. Well, we gotta go to community Christine. Please. I put big dick girls in communities and it's not.
Starting point is 00:56:19 You're either you're the parental controls on. Yeah, it's gotta be something like that. Yeah, they're not showing they're not safe for work stuff. I don't know how to change that, but you have to. PURRENTAL CONTROLS ON and ON. We can't see. Girl, please. Have you, can I ask you one more question about Cicidic? Have you, have you, have you felt the desire since it's happened?
Starting point is 00:56:44 Like, no, I've been like, no, I, it's, or since it's happened? No, I'm not. No, I was just over. I would say it's over. No, it's not the first. If I meet another trans girl that I'm a track to do, I'm gonna hook up with her. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Oh yeah. You got the thirst now, dude. You got a bit. I got a bit. You're insatiable. You're insatiable for sissy dick. I need it. I wake up in the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Wonder why I don't have it. The scratchin is always there. What's wrong, Jayce? I need sissy dick. I need it. I wake up with a nice wonder why don't I have it I need sissy dick tonight the girl from euphoria hunter the one that's the trans on the show. Oh, yeah, she's hot No, I haven't seen her. That's false. She was to lead singer from cracker. She's not hot She was a camper van Beethoven and Beethoven. We can't. She's ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you're being weird because she's got a little doodle. No, I'm telling you, the reason we're aware of big dick girl or the Reddit threat is from me.
Starting point is 00:57:51 So don't tell me I'm close minded. I'll take these monster cocks on. I just need a pretty your thing around it. All right, there's a girl, there's a girl that, which I mean, I think it's like exo exo summer James. She's really hot. She's got a thick dick. Okay, Well, we got to get to the red We have to break. I know we got to go there. We have to take a break probably
Starting point is 00:58:11 We got to quick break. We're hanging out Josh Adam Myers the podcast is him Boz Robert Kelly live for tickets to all his shows Big J comedy com for tickets to all my shows. I'm in Louisville this weekend. Are you home this weekend? I mean you taught wise guys wise guys. Oh, that's right. It was an interesting time coming when I knew it wise guys. Like the you and Dan were like a week apart or something. Yeah. It was weird. I knew it was right after we were announcing. I met the Greensboro North Carolina comedy zone this weekend the 17th and 18th. Great club. I'm excited. I'm doing a lot of fucking North Carolina. I've got dead crow coming up.
Starting point is 00:58:43 I just did Greenville South Carolina. Kackle-ack. Um, we'll be right back everybody. It's the Bobfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm dot com slash bomb fire for a special offer that's right and go to big j calmy dot com and robber kelly live dot com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near
Starting point is 00:59:14 you stephawry crackle crackle i think you

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