The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - TLC Killer (feat. Dan St. Germain)

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Bobby gives commentary on Tourgasm clips to the delight of Dan St. Germain. ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. What do you know? We love Bujtasca.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Mela Yobo-Bitch and Pussifer. It's great song. It's great song, everybody. It's the bonfire, Faction Talk, Series X and 103. Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. We have a great guest sitting in with us. Everyone, he's got a new special. He's going to be recording an old man hustle
Starting point is 00:00:41 in Brooklyn, New York tomorrow. That is June 1st, everyone 8 and 10 p.m. Some tickets still available. It's Dan, Saint Germain, everybody. Hello, thank you. It's Brooklyn, Old Man Hustle Brooklyn Comedy Club, so BKLYM. Not to be confused with Brooklyn Comedy Club or Brooklyn Comedy Club. I haven't had it to do that. I was really picked the greatest name for a club. There's 15 things called Brooklyn Comedy Club. I've been having to do that. I was really picked the greatest name for a club There's 15 things called Brooklyn comedy club. Well, I'm like I have to explain to you like a fucking zip and shit It's ridiculous. How's it going man? Good to see it. It's good man great to see you
Starting point is 00:01:13 You've I've heard of the weight loss, but now I finally see it and you'll great. Thanks man. Appreciate it Yeah, I gained weight. We freaky for I'd ate like a motherfucker. Have you gained weight? Oh, yeah I went nuts my mom died at the end of February and then I'd ate like a motherfucker. Have you gained weight? Oh yeah, I went nuts. My mom died at the end of February and then I was just like, yeah, I can just go back to 30 beers a day. Oh no problem at all. I'm sorry to hear that. No, it's alright, but you know, I'm trying to get back
Starting point is 00:01:36 on the old horse. I don't know how that turned me like a weight loss compliment to just a cry for help. Yeah, I really did. Within six seconds. Yeah, it's all good and then I felt shitty for help. I really did. Within six seconds. Yeah, it's all good and then I felt shitty right away. It looks the way it's good, good.
Starting point is 00:01:48 It's good. I have a coke issue. May stage four. Stage four. No, I'm happy for you, dude. My mom's gone. And that's shit. I don't have anything to get thin for, I guess.
Starting point is 00:01:58 You must sit over there with a skinny stomach and then a live mom. Dan, you're here on a great day. I know. Because we've're here on a great day. I know, I'm excited. We've, Jacob has been going through, Jacob our producer has been going through tourgasm, featuring Robert Kelly, starring Dan Cook. Bobby and Goldman come off great in that one.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Thank you very much. Well, they just, it's the, they, Poor J Davis man, as a, you know, poor J Davis. Well, what we covered so far was yesterday to catch people up that are listening or just tuning in. Yeah, little contact. That was good. A context. Thank you. That's fantastic. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Thank you. It's the bonfire. Robert Kelly. Big Jokes. We dance. Anchorman. You always have to assume someone's just tuning in. We're told just now right this second. Someone else has no idea what's happening. It's the bonfire with big J. Augustin and I'm Robert Kelly and Dan St. Germain and his mom passed away. Trying to get a hold of it. It's trying to get all the best. Yeah, here's a special happening at Old Man Hustle Brooklyn Comedy Club BKL and BKLN right? Yeah, BKLN and Y. IKLN? BKLN, why? LYN, I don't know why I'm laughing.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I did, we're talking like that, just makes you feel better. Doesn't it? Just get it out, man. It's nice. But we're watching Jacob has been going through tourgasm clips because he can see it when it first came out. And he is coming in completely blunt. He doesn't know Jay Davis says, oh, he has no context on Jay
Starting point is 00:03:24 Davis. Other than he's on this tour with Dean Cook, who was, you know Jay Davis is at all. He has no context on Jay Davis. Other than he's on this tour with Dane Cook, who was, you know, world famous at the time. This is what one of the things that when Dane exploded was his HBO special, he was built up with homophilous twald and then HBO picked up his special and they picked this up as a side note when they heard about it and they made it into a docu series about being on the road with Dan Cook. And that's what the show 2008 HBO after the sopranos. It was a pretty big show and a pretty big lean in leading. Right.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy to be on HBO backbone HBO was fun. HBO. They were funny. Well, it was just also. Now, it's Max. Hey, it was just also, now he's just max. Hey, just max is the party. Rebring that makes absolutely no sense. Now you just have to have quick banter
Starting point is 00:04:12 in a quirky disposition, you get a special upfuck. You get it wrong. If you could be funny for one minute straight on TikTok. There is a while there. If you blew one guy in high school, you can have. Wait, where's my special? You. Wait, where's my special? Where's my special? Where the fuck is all of our special?
Starting point is 00:04:32 He always should get special. You're sucking dick like a maroon, thinking I'm not getting anything from it. I was hiding it. Um. So with Jacob having no context on Jay Davis at all, watching this guy seem to be a professional comedian just getting nonstop dude. It's bad like San by remember watching that we watch so far the paintball The paintball fight which is Jay Davis was too close When he fired you're supposed to be 10 feet away and he fired from like... Four, Jay. He fired from four.
Starting point is 00:05:06 He fired from four feet away. The 10 foot rule. Yeah, but the room was only six feet. He was not wrong. He was a 6 by 4. He was a 10 feet rule. So he broke the rule. I guess what happened actually was, Dane got shot by Jay Davis and was like, I lost and now I'm furious. Well, did. And he just screamed.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Jay is still wearing his smock the whole time with paint blasts all over it. While Dane is back and it was cool t-shirt and just talking to him like a fucking child. Yeah, just rubbing his face and the whole thing. He's ruined all my fun. Yep, there you go. Every fucking thing I'm doing, you have to somehow get in and break a rule. There's rules in people. Yeah, yeah. Uh, he should have thought about that with his brother. But yeah, but then he does. There's some roles. There's some roles he should have been put in. I guess he's a violation. But in that particular episode, then he goes, didn't cook at the end. His apology to J. Day was just talking to the camera and going,
Starting point is 00:06:00 I was a dick. Like I really talked like I said some bad shit in there and I was I was being a real dick He goes and I meant I said some stuff in there that if I were him like right or wrong if I were him I would have been like yo don't talk to me like that. I'm gonna kick your ass So he goes I apologize to him, but I can't believe he took it like such a bitch Also, I'm not crazy. It is apology goes And the crazy it is a policy goes crazy at all. That's exactly what I mean, I used to do J show at the parlor when I went to I would I lived in LA years ago and J was told a sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Sweetheart. Put me up all the time. Couldn't be nicer. I'll say, but he's still messed up by that whole like his oh like before he brought me on say it's one of the funniest ways that anyone's ever brought me on stage. He goes, yeah, and then you know, Dan and I are in the hot tub with these, you know, super models and he turns to me and he goes in the hot tub with these you know super models and He turns to me and he goes hey Jay can you get out? I think I'm vibing with both of them
Starting point is 00:06:50 Next up he's been on Conan Dan Stancher main Like clearly like all these PTSD from being with Dave We're bringing up every comic that way Dave's a millionaire, but he asked me to use my visa All right, how we want everybody, you know, he was on a horse I had to pick up his horse shit made him a two to sandwich. Hey give it up for Yeah, man, he was so we got a video here, but he's a good guy Greek guy that Jacob sent to us today. What video is this again? Jacob? Jacob you want to see this video for us? Yeah, can you set this video up so we have a Jacob, Jacob, you want to see this video, Paul? Yeah, can you set this video up so we have a context?
Starting point is 00:07:25 In this scene, it opens up with Jay bombing on stage. I guess he's trying a new bit. This could have been every episode. But apparently, it's a TLC killer. It was a particularly big bomb because Bobby comes right out and said, he just thought of that joke right before he came out on stage. You just tried it. OK, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:46 And then he's backstage with Dane and he's telling Dane why the joke didn't work. It's because he took a Lawsinger before and it dried out his mouth. That does happen. It does ruin. Let me say something that does ruin jokes. I've had a lot of jokes. Lawsages? Yeah, lozenges have ruined my fucking act. That's why I only chew gum now. It's being very polite. You're being very polite.
Starting point is 00:08:11 It's diplomatic saying that. I'm being very polite. Oh, a lot. Oh, last man, lozenges mistake. I have a question. We've got to probably already ask them. Do they go in like the producers go into this and like, we're going to find the greenest guy in the world.
Starting point is 00:08:23 They didn't tell us that. I was just telling that before. I didn't tell us that. I was just telling that before. They didn't tell us that. They said it was going to be something that it wasn't. It turned into this thing. I was getting wind of it when we started doing all these fucking things. I thought we were just going on tour like rock stars
Starting point is 00:08:38 and we were on a fucking battle the network stars. It was amazing. Wasn't Jay also surprising like the oldest person there? fucking battle the network stars. You know, doing shit. Wasn't Jay also surprising like the oldest person there? He was actually on the show. He was 62. Yeah, that's crazy. I think I sure I think he was a weirdly older than him. He was the oldest guy.
Starting point is 00:08:56 He was, yeah, we were all in our 30s. I was. He was 50 or 40, something of 40s. You were in your 30s for sure, right? Yeah, he was the oldest guy. He's the oldest guy. He was too visual, something before you're 30s for sure, right? Yeah, he was the oldest guy. He's the oldest guy. He was too visual, but I watched another scene today before work where you're all rock climbing.
Starting point is 00:09:11 That was one of the things comics do Dan before when they're not on stage. When they're not on stage. Before you, Jay. When he said this to visual, he means we can't describe it me. It's not worth watching. But every one of them is climbing, Gary tries it. Bobby goes up, and then Jay gets to, it's like, gets the climbs up like half wing goes, I want to come down, I can't do this anymore.
Starting point is 00:09:36 He totally bitches out, and they have to lower him. They have to lower the rope, and then Dane gets up, and like, Spider-Man's up the rock wall. Of course. To show that he can do it. He's unafraid of anything. He's like fucking as he goes up. You know what?
Starting point is 00:09:52 He's funny. He's just like, I don't know how to describe it other than he's sexy climbs. The only reason why I walk the wall. The only reason why I walk the wall. I think he doubles super fingers and falls off the wall. I think he did, actually. I think he did so far down. The other reason why I didn't make it to the top is because I'm a man.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah, I don't want to do that shit. I don't do that shit. It must be hilarious. Like, it's like you like get this call from HBO and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this was not, this got picked up at after. This is the hardest part about the show. This was supposed to, like I told that, with a documentary who's just making like content before content was thing. He got the HBO deal after, he called me up after we did all this
Starting point is 00:10:35 and said HBO picked this up, it's gonna be a show, but it's gonna take a year. So I was gonna be on HBO. I knew this was happening for a year, but I couldn't tell anybody. You understand? Couldn't say, you couldn't say a word. They made me sign all this shit.
Starting point is 00:10:52 So we knew it was gonna be on HBO, but it was gonna take a year for them to edit the whole thing together because they're gonna make it into a television show. We had to go back and film episode nine. We had to go back and film it. It was like the final episode where we fought. I told you we fought in Mustang.
Starting point is 00:11:08 We've jet, we did a dogfighting in the air and I threw up. It was a nightmare. I almost died. Yeah, so this was after the fact HBO, the head of HBO at the time who got me, too, it was gone now. He was like, I love Dane.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I want to do your special. And then he saw this and was like I want this too And they made it into that so yeah, this was not but this was supposed to be To me you gotta be kind of annoying though. You get you me to him. I did it. Yeah, because you would have probably been like Oh, I'm gonna do this in this scene like if you had known beforehand that HBO was gonna be filming all this You're like all right. Well, maybe I'm gonna change this way. I do this or any of that kind of stuff. Cause it was just like, just like kind of like live streaming. Like did you not know?
Starting point is 00:11:49 It was going on in the wall type shit. You woke up every morning with cameras in your face. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. We'll go every morning you woke up with camera. It was a little because we didn't understand that. Like it was every morning, there was a camera crew in your face. I did one of these MTV things and I won't say who,
Starting point is 00:12:06 but what are the producers, one of them, bring a mic into a 12 step meeting. No, I just, like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if you guys wanna fly here. That's the, you know, you're taking him on, you're taking him on Neil's share or whatever. Here, Ozzy Osborne just mumble. I did it.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Yeah, this chip, You just hear like two a This fucking bracelets jingling Is Bobby part of this clip at all Jacob? Yes, I come out yeah because he comes out Okay, right after him, okay? What a piece of shit That dumb fuck Here's the thing though. They kept trying to get us to help them with this stupid joke. The joke was horrible from the get.
Starting point is 00:12:49 That was the running thing. We don't know that. It could be good. Well, maybe now. It might be good now, Jay. Nope. Jay. It's bad on concept. Jay, it might be, it might have matured like a wine. Let's hear it.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Let's see. From the beginning. Please. Like, Dean is actually, I don't even disagree with him, but he still makes Jay look like a bitch. Yeah. So, what Jay? Man, I tell you, I am such a sensitive kind guy. I'm so kind that my friends think I kill people with kindness. I'm like, what are they thinking? Like if I were the BTK killer, they'd probably call me the TLC killer. Tinder loving care. But I'm gonna break into someone's house and be like, uh, hey, is anybody home? I brought pretzels. The TLC killer's here. 911.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I don't know what to do. No, he told me my hair look great and I'm beautiful. what to do. No, he told me my hair look great and I'm beautiful. He won't be inside. You see what Bobby just did there? Let me give you a good description. Bobby has made a face like, that's not so bad. No, I will say it's not like the reactions worse than the joke. The joke's not great, but it's not like, dude, this is hard. This is hard to watch Yeah, this is tough. I lived through this in my life And now I'm living through it again He delivered it like a like a person they make host for you at a college just FYI Yeah, I think I gave him the pretzel line, which I thought was funny You don't though now
Starting point is 00:14:20 Dude when he when they tell you to say something maybe you bring me you're bringing something like pretzels Yeah, when he when they say something maybe you bring me you're bringing something like pretzels They stepped it out you can tell they least step the joke out, you know with a pretzel thing Joe new joke I like that Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for mr. Robert Kelly New joke new joke Give it up for Jay Davis Jay Davis trying out a new joke with you people. He just wrote it in the back, I swear to God.
Starting point is 00:14:52 He was like, dude, what about this? I'm so happy. I'm like, yeah, you are. You kill people with kindness. You're annoying you so nice. And he's like, I'll go do that. And he did. And you people are like, no, it's not ready yet. Come on. It's there. You're rushing it.
Starting point is 00:15:07 You're nervous. You're like really conscious of it. You got him right now. You got some chuckles. You got something, you got a little bit of response. Here's a mistake I made. Oh, my cousin. I'll be honest with you, I've never been this...
Starting point is 00:15:19 He's already more married to a joke than I've ever been in my life. It's just you all... I got to find a way to get this concept to work. If I would have went like that, I'd have been like a concept shitty. It just sucks. It's not good. But the problem is, he literally just playing, here's the problem with the joke. My cousin was in the front road and I had a Lawsage. It's like, it's dead in the combo.
Starting point is 00:15:40 It's never affected a joke ever. Well, it's not. Cuz in the front road, analogs, I mean when it rains it pours dude Murphy's law am I right? Please could keep losing you he looks exactly like first. Why you're gonna describe Jay Davis. He looks exactly like and Hays I was gonna say a B. L. S. T. V, but yeah, and hey, just a blank. I'm just a blank. I'm a blank. I'm a blank. You're right. I mean, for what did he say my mouth right before I went on? And I had to chew it.
Starting point is 00:16:09 So another man went out and it was like all powder ice broke. And I started like, my voice wasn't coming through. I said, the water, it's down. That's one excuse. Let's keep going. Oh, God, is he about to dress them down again here to the camera. He was Jay Davis doesn't have it Please let's get what he says about it
Starting point is 00:16:36 Film fantastic And that's you know 50% of it right there is just seeing these guys go up and well. When you walk into a public restroom, any public restroom in the country, why when you walk in, why is everything wet? You know, to play the bits. Is that it? It's Jay Davis that he told them. They made excuse for his terrible first.
Starting point is 00:17:00 That's one excuse. But they tell me HBO forced you to try to make that joke work over the course of the season. Like, this is the story arc. We're gonna make this really bland concept. I said there's no course of the season. This was the behind the scene thing that I think Barry and Dane, I'm like, I never talked to him about it,
Starting point is 00:17:19 this wasn't on HBO. He wasn't even had it. He didn't even, he wasn't. He wasn't even famous yet when we filmed this. me he wasn't a no he was he was new colleges this is a college these are all college tours these are all colleges he was college famous in the middle of this they flew him to Manhattan to do an up fronts I forget what network, right? HBO was there. HBO, he got a deal with HBO. For a special. For a special, for millions.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Right, he went to the upfronts, killed it, flew him off this tour. Damn. On a jet, a private jet, him and Barry went, did the upfronts, had this HBO thing happen, kind of start to happen, at the end of the tour, because this was 20 colleges in 30 days. At the end of the tour, HBO was like,
Starting point is 00:18:11 we wanna do a deal and they showed him this and they were like, I want this too. So, but I think Barry and Dane were behind kind of puppeteering this. That's fine, and I'll step. He came up to us and he said, he was like, hey, we got to help Jay with this joke. Okay, so I'm saying, so that was massage because.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah, massage. When you first hear that, if you were friends with him at all, you'd go, it's just like, don't worry about it. Like don't overthink it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like say the TLC, if you can angle that around a couple of different ways, if it's not working or not working, walk away from it.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Was the BTK killer like a big reference then, like every day when it gets in. Yeah, then he wasn't caught yet. Or he just got caught. It was a big thing at that point. So he got the joke around. He got the joke from the news and was like, I'm so nice, I couldn't be.
Starting point is 00:19:00 If I, I would kill like that. He said if I was the BTK killer, they'd call me the TLC killer kill him with kindness But I mean I do get just rubbed up like I Get rubbed wrong when a comedian opens with like a virtue like I'm so nice It's not what this is you know I'm really good with money My family's together
Starting point is 00:19:23 money. My family's together. Yeah. The fight. You know what's cool? Not cursing. Fuck you. My mom and dad live on the cape. So this came out in 2006, so you guys spelt it like, what the fuck is that? I thought it was.
Starting point is 00:19:37 I thought it was. I thought it was. I thought it was. I thought it was. Dude, dude, dude, it was split. Listen, listen, there's many different versions. We've talked about this. There's many different versions of Bob Kelly. That, this is, that is.
Starting point is 00:19:47 That is. Moby Truman Capote. That's my only. If you type in this, this sexy, that's sexy. That's one of sexy Bobby's right there with the blue jacket. Jay Davis looks like a fucking.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Jay looks like a retired game magician. Yeah. Jay. Now that picture of him with the long hair and that one right there. Yeah, that one. That one. Yeah, you know, there are some beautiful photos of you. Fucking Jay ledges of the fall Davis.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Yeah, he really does. I mean, that one of me is just fucking atrocious. He's like, I'm here to teach you, I'm here to teach your milk life at a ride horses. Bobby just looks like he's about to dish and everybody at the Met Gala. Yeah, I really do. I just got, I'm just a big old gay guy with a microphone. Look at this dress. Oh my god. You look fabulous.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Jared's dress like a kitten. Did you write day James, so bitch, you were a Christine? That's something. We know it did come out. Wait, was there a bunch of people watching us? They're like, this like he killed himself We just believe in the suicide a few minutes ago Right when a fucking yeah, yeah, he's definitely alive right wait, is he?
Starting point is 00:20:59 Yeah, he goes mark Smith dead What I have to go through the fun that if Dave Smith died, if it was him, Dave Smith's, he's 15 Dave Smith from being able to own Dave Smith.com. There's no peace for him on this tour. I was thinking like on stage, he bombs and then off stage, he's just humiliated. Yeah, they really, they pretty, they talk him over pretty bad. You didn't get it. I tell you, I got no big fight with him in one of the episodes
Starting point is 00:21:30 and I made him cry. And I, but it was fake. He literally saw the camera come up behind me. We were arguing about something. Yeah. Cause he was kind of, he was coming at me a lot. How did he come at you? Because you're definitely getting, yeah,
Starting point is 00:21:46 Danes making him look like a, he realizes that and he's gotta be redirecting it outward. He was redirecting it towards me, but again, I think, I don't know, I never talked to him about it, but I think he got a little thing like go at Bobby, because back then, you remember me, I was a little more hair triggered back then.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I was a little more Boston where you could get me to go tell you to fuck yourself very quickly back then. And um... Just come on a town and put it right on your door knob. Do something about it, Bobby would say. Sorry about that. It's okay, you're not still... It's not you anymore. I love you, I never do that now.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Unless you're asked. Yeah, unless you wait. And hope the guy doesn't know how to fight. That's the rule. We're gonna get the subway a couple of weeks ago. I didn't work out. I don't know. But yeah, I think that he was like when we, when I made,
Starting point is 00:22:34 we were arguing about something I forget, because again, 2006, I thought was 2008, but we were arguing, I said something to him, and I was kind of young and like, go fuck yourself. You fuck, whatever, because he was being that guy and he Saw the camera come up behind me and I saw him just go and he fucking I mean dude mustard a tear and you they cut it out, but in the video I went he fucking He fucking cried for the camera and I ran out and I was like going up to Gary
Starting point is 00:23:07 I go, dude He just started crying on camera. He fucking he's crying and they were and dude they caught this moment where I was yelling You fucking piece of shit. He was like I just want to be like this. I'm shit I don't know what happened, but it looked like I was like He's crying. He's crying. It was book they got it, but they didn't put it in and I was bullshit I was like this is fucking or shit and then we got to a big fight about the We got a big fight because he came at me about the porn talk and then I remember one night We went to we got one hotel on that whole trip and on his bill. I found his bill
Starting point is 00:23:44 You are a porn. Five. Five. What was he getting? What was he giving you shit about with the porn? He was giving me shit like, is that all we're going to do is talk about porn? Cause I was talking about, I had this red tape that I had. I still have it.
Starting point is 00:23:57 It's called the red tape. And I would give it away. It was such a great. It's an awful video. It's a lot of awful shit on it. But the reason why I love it is at the end of each porno, they would come out of character. And be like, hey, it's my husband,
Starting point is 00:24:11 and we always wanted to do this, so you could feel good about yourself again. But it was- I want to see that. I have it, and what I would use to do is give it away. I would give it away, but it would always come back to me. Like, I remember I gave it to Gary one year. And I think a year and a half later, Gary handed it back, and I said, I would give it away, but it would always come back to me. Like I remember, I gave it to Gary one year. And I think a year and a half later,
Starting point is 00:24:27 Gary handed it back and said, I'm done with this and I would take it back. It would always come home. I have it. In the case, same case. It's in the case. It's in the case, yes. I will lend it to you.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Please. It's a great, you know. Would you find this a Kim's video now? I don't know what that is. To see the Kim's video down there. It's like a weird porn, you haven't given to me and like with no each other for how long? I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure is I'm pretty sure is given to me this way and I was the
Starting point is 00:24:52 billber. No not bill bill would never watch it. Dude I don't want to watch that I can't unsee it though. But when you and Bill roommates did he whack off? Do you ever hear him? No never. He strikes me as a guy who would pick up a hobby before he started jerking Yeah, like fucking learn how to fly a helicopter. Yes, maybe yeah, no He never built right if I the reason I haven't flown a helicopter yet is cuz I wag off So much for sure stop wagging off you can learn guitar and learn how to fly a helicopter man
Starting point is 00:25:17 I would shred that's a good stuff on the neck Be fucking van hailing but um yeah, he um What the fuck was I saying I forget? dang cook oh jade is so he came out after me on the came at me on camera like is that all you're gonna talk about is porn bobby and tried to make me that this time jade you know this I was trying to get my shit together with my girl I was trying you know what I mean like we just had some issues on a tour that's the entire audience is chicks with their tits out and pussy shaved. And this fucking guy is calling me out as a piece of shit on, I snapped. I was like, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:25:54 So I had the, at the end, I go, you get, I want the receipt, the hotel receipt. And they actually put it in the show. They showed him being just a piece of shit, ordering all these fucking awful porns. On Danes' time. On Danes' time. But yeah, anyways, he was coming at me, at the beginning of this, he came at me a couple of times and it didn't make sense. Cause we were always friends.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Like I'd go to LA, he's the nicest guy. All of a sudden, he was attacking me, trying to make me look at it. I'm sorry that might be really because, nicest guy all of a sudden he was attacking me trying to make me look at that. I'm sorry that might be really because I mean, Dane, me and, uh, Tarozo, we watched that show every week.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I'm telling you when it would be like the TLC killer. How many times can I tell what I talked about more than anything? For like those weeks that it was all like the T why are they telling him this joke? In fact, I was close enough with you that point that I must have said to you at one point With so many years ago now, but it must been at some point where I was like Bobby Why are you guys trying to help him fix this joke? Just walk away from if he was like this is a really like intense story It's like my the story of how I lost somebody important to me or what I do I mean like or the one of the most crazy experiences in my life
Starting point is 00:27:07 Like I have to find a way to make this a story goes from too nice to be a killer I'd be a TLC that on concept is think suck shit If you were so nice you wouldn't be a killer to begin with Come down. No, I think I think the problem to he just goes on say he's so he was so uncomfortable, you know Like they got somebody just Brands making new Mono he was not always he sort of knew he also performed and probably did really well in a situation he created I mean look he had like an acting class coming. Yeah, but he had he had to get the place Dublin's
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah, it was a huge show. Yeah, but that was he was the host Wait, just want to know about this they were coming to see a dain They were coming to see dain and right and like me and Gary had to really be funny To get them to like us, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm and But he was hosting there too, but yeah, but he has the charisma of a flip flop. Let's not forget that. I mean, you guys also, cause like,
Starting point is 00:28:08 Dane is like, he was like, fuck me comedy. And you guys don't have that type of comedy where it's like, I did have that, I did. Yeah, probably did. Oh, dude, this is the where I stopped doing fuck me comedy. Yeah. When I broke my knee, dude, I couldn't move. Cause you, when you do fuck me comedy, you need to move.
Starting point is 00:28:26 You need your hips, you need a foot up on a monitor. You need to, you need to, you need to be a panther. Dan Mcjager had like a move up and down. Nobody, nobody, fuck me moves like Dan. Yeah, but he did the Jagger thing, where he would go to the end, and then you'd run this way, and then come back, and run again. Oh, dude. I was
Starting point is 00:28:48 Bobby's fuck me comedy was a different way. He did a lot He was a lot of jokes where he would show you his tongue flickering flickering Yeah, you do a lot of tongue flickering a lot a lot of body out like this and then I would do I would do a lot of stuff Where I'd hand you I'd hit you with the punch and as you laugh and I'd look down right out and be like I'd be like what's up. I'd be like yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah. With the backwards can go ahead or I was single some perfectly manicured mustache. When I was single since I saw a girl in the audience it'd be like hey you wouldn't drop this number like 12 bus boy would they never call.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Yeah that was Dominican Bobby back down the tourgasm. But on this, when I broke my knee, when I hurt my leg, I had to sit. I couldn't move. So I couldn't do fuck me comedy anymore. And it really, it really let me know where my jokes were lacking. Oh, good. It really let me know where I was really muscling
Starting point is 00:29:40 this fucking laugh out of these people because I couldn't do it. So when I went back to the seller, I actually slowed down a little bit because I used to sweat. Remember, I mean, God-free was the same way. We would come off the stage dripping wet. I mean, just giving 150,000 percent. Bobby performed with black energy. You know, it's what a Lucian from the comic strip told me when he passed me, I thanked him after a couple of weekends of doing like the late shows. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Yeah. And I was like, Lucian, thank you so much. I remember such a fun time, you know, to give him like a fake, not fake, but an over heartfelt thank you for not that big of a deal. But he was like, uh, he goes, yeah, yeah well I would usually put a Latino or Negro swear to you Negro comedian in that in that in that spot he goes but you seem to have the energy for it I was like okay there's a bunch of blaze I can respond to this none of them were good look at it's been like oh you're walking I'm glad you're having fun that just wasn't his energy he was wearing gloves because his fingers were falling off.
Starting point is 00:30:46 I actually, that was because of me. I prayed for that. He never passed me. I've literally made that prayer. I was like, well, I hope his fingers fall off. I was never passed there. And then all of a sudden, they just started working me there. There was like no reason. Was it? No, when I came in with Tommy Erichy. Tommy Erichy. He at least go on, but Luton and Starla was the worst gay key person. But it was like, it was a gate. Did I mean, I did feel like there was a gate,
Starting point is 00:31:13 that was a process still at one point. They got in the process. Yeah, I mean, the process was, I mean, dude, I killed, I killed their twice. I killed their twice and both times. I remember the last time, Stala took me out and she was like, you did good.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Good. You stopped in the middle of the grade. She like, wouldn't give you the grade. She like, you did good. And I was like, but you know what, we have a lot of, a lot of white guys working here now. And I go, well, my whole set was about me
Starting point is 00:31:43 looking Puerto Rican and not being white and not looking white. Yeah, that's true. We have a lot of Puerto Ricans working here today. And I was like, okay, all right, I go, I'm just gonna go back to the cellar. And I hope your bosses fingers fall off. That's what I said. Well, great news.
Starting point is 00:31:58 They did before he dropped it. As there was, that is pretty good, Richie's, so I'm just booking a show. But I remember that when I was there in audition, there would be a goign around the block. There would be people with their puppets. People I'd never see, I'll never see again. They just hear about it.
Starting point is 00:32:13 They read about it in the blind item and they come out with their fricking stuff they've been doing in their attic. Well, then also, wasn't it evolution the owner of the Booker that Club, he married Vanessa Hollingshead who went, he married her as they would, I could describe, was a pretty hot chick and just turned
Starting point is 00:32:31 to her and no crazy old lady. I don't know what I had in like three years. What happened to her? She was fine, but I didn't really know her that well. She was hot. I'm saying when she was younger, she would be hosting jobs on NBC and stuff. Big shows like a cute chick and then yeah, and then just
Starting point is 00:32:46 Time that is funny to watch the The hot like the hot 40 year olds when I started it is funny now like the aging like 60 year old Wasn't she in ghost dog who Vanessa the movie ghost dog? I believe she was in ghost dog. She's far as wittaker? Yeah, man. I think I'm pretty sure she was in that. I remember it. I've never seen it. It's great. I love that movie. It's a great movie. But I think she was. I'd describe it. It's about absolutely nothing at all whatsoever. It was a cool movie though. Pretty. You get to hear cool music by the Riza. But the Riza.
Starting point is 00:33:20 She was in it, right? Are you crazy? Might be crazy. I'm definitely not always there. What was I want to say it's a new stuff up top yeah ghost up female sheriff Well, yeah, she she was about to pop off remember watching him Jarmoosh and she was popping off and then yeah She married him and then she turned into a crazy Crazy only and then she had a joke like well deep into her forties Where she would maybe even her 50s where she would like pull her ass crack out the end of the thing. It was like and it was another one of those like like white girl connect black like they were just so I was like that seems up your alley jade.
Starting point is 00:33:55 This is so funny. You have to watch maybe some of the funniest hate watch comedy things are the women of a certain age specials Because it really is it's just older female comics that haven't quite like got over the hump. Oh yeah, yeah. And it's just, I mean, some of them are very fun. It's just, but it's just like, you could tell like their bat shit is wide.
Starting point is 00:34:15 They're at, they're at, they're at, is there a trailer for you? That was the women of a certain age? They can't put their eyebrows down. Right. They're always like, they just excited the whole show. Yeah, it's like a Monique Move is. Well, that was like when who was at the comic?
Starting point is 00:34:29 I was knowing a comic takes his clothes off. It's like, oh, you're done, dude. That's how I started. I keep into this game, make it. That's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is this the first one to play it?
Starting point is 00:34:43 Give us a little. What is this the first one to play it give us a little This is called again funny women of a certain age trailer dress your host there's your oh she looks great She doesn't We have her here. She's great. I like her like young people said that only people said is that young people can go for hours Not all people did you 10 minutes you could Looks like a biking You do 10 minutes you could die every guy in Brooklyn looks like a Viking on a That's her looking like a biblical fake Bobby shut the fuck up. She didn't you know that she look good. She's bad shit. She's always Go back she looks alright, dude for fucking 90
Starting point is 00:35:21 I didn't know she was gonna slow it down. She has my stomach after the surgery. She has nice ass She got my ass. I'll give her an upside. She's got a nice stopper, but you're right. You're right. Oh, she turned her crazy Why not all women? I think though she went every day She woke up waiting to discover a man with no hands dead in the chair and happened one day Why not why not all women the older they get they start to dress like starship commanders all women, the older they get, they start to dress like star ship commanders. Yeah, the shoulder fast. Star commander, holy shit. And some Kelly before it.
Starting point is 00:35:51 There's not one photo Hillary Clinton before I can't, I save you to find any Clinton, any photo Hillary Clinton after 2000, where she doesn't look like a star commander. Yeah, like every photo since 2000, it's gotta be star. Star commander. Yeah, I love broaches and shit. Yeah. Oh, I got we got to take a break. Dude, we're going to take a break. I have a good time. Everybody dancing. Main special tomorrow. They're taping it. June 1st, 8 and 10 PM Old Man, hustle and Brooklyn Brooklyn Comedy Club, BKL YN.
Starting point is 00:36:20 And there you go. I'm going to be I'm doing a tour this summer in the Hampshire, Las Vegas, New gonna be I'm doing a tour this summer in the Hampshire Las Vegas, New Jersey. I'm doing a little small theater tour. So go to my website robikelylive.com And get tickets to that and of course big J. Ocasin will be in Las Vegas as you first hopefully my teeth will stay Hopefully they don't hopefully they swap out right into some of the club. So they'll be upstairs. I want it fully low so keep your cameras on you at the club fully loaded to a Want it? Uh, fully loaded. So keep your cameras on you at the club. Fully loaded to a whole summer.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Tickets available and tour dates for Big J. Oh, he's in a Big J comedy.com and go watch his special on YouTube. Dog Valley. It's the best all year. We'll be right back with the porn player. Here's great. Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:36:59 That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbomfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink.
Starting point is 00:37:23 stand-up dates coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink.

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