The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Top 100 Fat Comedians (feat. Joe DeRosa)
Episode Date: August 2, 2023The gang watch semi-racist rants by Pantera and Joe DeRosa joins in to bust balls. ...
Transcript
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I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson.
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And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly.
Yeah!
You're so lucky Matt's going to this show
I'm gonna fucking throw DJ Lulof into that balcony
ha ha
ha
I'm wearing combat boots and short shorts
Get out of my face right now man I'm serious
I'll fucking knock you out
I'm going dressed like a question-like gay white supremacist
Oh I'm gonna break the rules You go and dress the question bleak gay white supremacist
Oh You're gonna break the rules
Lou 60% chance I get to a fist fight with your girlfriend
It's not the attitude I want to go into this with no, no, but like a like a fight club kind of thing
We're not mad at each other. We're just gonna study. Yo, it's scrap bitch
All right, whatever happens. I'm gonna scratch it. Let's scratch each other's faces up.
It's pan-taire, man. Bobby, you're not prepared for this, so you're gonna go on Sunday when
we go to five-figure death punch. It's a little easier on the soul. I think it's gonna
be a little... give me that juice. I think it's gonna be a little better for Max.
Why, what's wrong with this?
Crank it up, Lou.
I know that.
No ever.
I've got the dance.
I know that.
At the hour.
Okay, I guess you don't want Max to dominate the world one day.
Not this way. Not this way.
Not this way.
Not by cutting people's heads off him.
You don't think so?
Lighting them on fire.
Dude, Phil on Salmo, having over the year racist rant on stage and people trying to stop
him is always the funniest thing in the world.
So, but Lewis Gomez or Phil on Salmo?
Oh, okay.
It looks a lot like Lewis she Gomez.
He's lead singer, Pantera Phil on Sama. Oh, okay. It looks a lot like Louis Shigomis. He's lead singer, Pantera Phil and Sama.
Right.
And they have so many times of him
when he was just fucked up on stage.
It's like one of them he goes like,
they are, I don't know, they have all these shirts
to say, stop black on black crime.
You know, that's don't look to me.
It means black on white crime is fine.
Well, and the C.B.
always go like, hey, Phil, let's just do the next song. And he's like, no, no, I got it. I got fun. And the C.B. was going like, hey, fill us just do the next song.
And he's like, no, no, I got it.
I got it.
One more second.
I love whenever someone's going on crazy rants,
someone's like, hey, come on, go, no, I got this.
It's the black sheep with Chris Farley.
You remember that?
He's like saying all this stuff.
And he's like, no, no, I'm good, I'm good.
Oh, go, bring up a Phil Insombo racist rant.
They're great.
They're so funny.
I mean, like he's just had a history.
I remember there want being one popular one.
Here's the thing.
I don't think Phil Insombo's erased this.
He's again, just one of these like,
he's like a beer-swilling lunatic
that can't make his point right.
Right.
You know what I mean?
It's like, a guy who got fired from JFL.
They're just flasks festival for like a thing. We're like, you just want to make in your point right to the you know I mean it's a guy who got fired from JFL they just blasted festival for like a thing we're like you just weren't making your point
right to the right people I can't I say that yeah yeah stop saying it yeah but I
can say it I'm not saying it offensively I'm just saying it as a word that does
exist because I'm out I got you I don't disagree with you why are you fighting
this fight here ma'am yeah not saying it in front of people. Don't like that word. Is it a compilation?
A compilation. Oh, good. White pride speeches Friday night. This is Friday night. You guys
going to Metallica with a big group of people. Yeah. And then Sunday you're going back with
me, Max Christine and yourself. Jacob, you're coming to Panterra and I bring your swastika
book. Lou, make sure people see that shaved head.
We should really leave and put a note they're getting in.
Right.
God, I guess it was Phil and Phil.
This is something that gets home to me very high.
Because if you hear me, the lyrics that I write on behalf of all my brothers and
parents are shit like that.
You're trying to know where I'm coming from.
But for all the new Thomas, and people that don't know where I stand, it might sound funny
But I'll tell you what, it needs to be said and you know the mother fucking bad
Especially a heavy metal band and it's got the guts to say. So you listen to me. Why power?
Listen to me, big mother fucking trend now. The big trend in a whole goddamn fucking other
MTV and all that goddamn though the radio and shit is the thing I'm fucking on the empty He can't tell if they're booing him because they also like this. It's also positive for a second. This is such a time to
Where it was hard to pull this off because even if you loved Pantera
Like there's rap songs. It was just in the ether too much. You know, I mean like I grew up like
NWA why I said I always I always do like about Kid Rock is when he does those songs kind of saying it all took yeah
He grew up listening to country music and rap and and heavy metal and classic rock and it's that's what it's kind of like
It is weird. He's like this rap thing. You're like hang on Phil. You like rap music. What are you about to say you psycho?
He's getting these guys is riled up as you got the campers yesterday that restaurant
Who that restaurant deserves whatever they get well don't do anything to the
I didn't know but you know
Thunder letter though. Oh, yeah, we do have to figure out our letters still what we have to bring it up to Joe
Joe's a restaurant tour. He'll know. He's a foodie. He does a show on food if you could be go back to eat off on summers
Why is he talking like a rapper?
I don't know.
They're not prejudiced.
Yo, what's up?
What's up, son?
Oh, he's a Louisiana Hill belly, but I mean, he's doing all of the, he's giving like
all the little, what do you call it, the disclaimers first.
And look, I, one time a black guy asked me for a dollar, I had it, I gave it to him.
All right, keep that in mind when I say this.
Hey, look at, I drink cool aid, and I like chicken.
I'm not raisers, what?
I like chicken just fine.
Wait a minute.
But with all that said, I just like rotisserie chicken, more than I like fried chicken.
But we both like chicken.
Chicken's chicken.
With that said, you cannot move on my block!
Damn, I was wrong with this.
Let's go on.
Remember that. Remember that before I lay this hammer.
Yeah, fuck you, Sebastian Bob, suck my dick.
Fucking pissy.
You made that clear.
I do get it Phil, thank you.
If you can dunk yourself as a gentleman,
as you can be, as you can be.
He's a positive guy with his shirt off.
Is that there with mutton chops in an homage beard
who's getting ready to sing songs so a new level of confidence and power. He has the same outfit you had on at the restaurant. You're not wrong about that
I mean it's the same outfit. I didn't call myself a gentleman when I walked in there
If you conduct yourself like a high-end level of society as I do
Oh, Jacob you were starting to think it wasn't common, you probably didn't think it was common, but it's here.
Because he said he has a lot of friends.
He's got a lot of black friends.
And also a lot of black people who work for them.
And there's friends of all colors and creeds.
And something about the PAs they brought.
Also, I think PAs, there's probably a black people involved
in that, I think, was he was trying to say.
So I'm at ease right now, because he said all the stuff up first. good but these black ass rap but these black ass rap motherfuckers up there talking about
all this shit go ahead I still think this is gonna be okay yeah
but a honky, a hundred percent, but a fucking white, you understand me?
You understand?
The crowds are supposed to cheer for that.
That's white power.
I mean, that's...
C-C-C-E-A, I'm not responsible for mother fucking jack.
Shit, that happened to nobody else.
It's nobody else.
Oh, God.
It's the rest of the band just squirming right now
in the background. It's the rest of the band just squirming right now in the background to be
good that you could see none of them are in frame by the way it's just him and
it's like they drifted into the fog it's like they're in the back having
crackers and cheese in the world to have pride black power
What's a white goes
Don't say oh, it's fine But if you say white pride what are you?
Racists if you say white pride you are racist, but let me say what I'm gonna put one foot motherfucking forward right now
And I'm gonna say straight up Forward right now
Jacob why do you have your hand on your heart's standing up just this is about to be served Okay, got it got it
God, he's got he's got greatest hits it looks like the
i'm
a
the
the
the
the My Italian big thank you, Grandpa! Oh! Oh!
Italians aren't considered completely white by the way. How to percent not, they're actually black.
If you listen to my favorite movie of all time,
they were banged by the Moors.
Yeah.
So you're a great grandmother. God, you know it.
Great grandmother was fucked by a...
Phil, take it away
Give me some more fill
Wait he's got another
Skip ahead a little. There's no one else on stage.
They all abandon the stage.
If they know what he's about to do.
We live.
You see blacks?
And you see whites?
He's always got to set it up.
You really work it out too good.
So I say keep the blacks over there.
We'll keep the whites over here.
I'm not racist.
Look at this guy that works for me's black.
Black people don't like coffee anyways.
What's the big deal if you just say white power?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
The scariest thing is the audience.
That's just so stoked on it
Here we go
Fuck it, so
This hilarious is he about to do is a John Cougar melon camp is he just do the same speech where he goes
Alright it prices on the set list. It's like a walk Cowboys from hell
Cowboys from hell reprise you goes
P break Phil and Samo gonna go on his story about not being racist while saying much of racist stuff
Then we come back big with by demons be driven I'm not a fan of the rest of my friends. He always, he's the boast.
Boast speeches too, he's tanked the rest of the guys
who, dying back there, I was sitting on steps
with his head in his hands.
And he goes, I think I speak definitely
for these three men right here.
Back that up 10 seconds of watch,
he did it on the first one too.
Two more bands, he was in shit like that.
Let me show you what, this is one white kid of I'm a fan of the I? Did you good? Time back Darrow still thinks this is the worst stage experiences ever had. He was murdered
on stage. He was murdered on stage. How killed them? This was some lunatic. Was it a rapper?
No. No. He, uh, a guy who was a fan. When they broke up, it was like an ugly split and the
brothers went on to do their thing. And he did blaming the Abbot brothers for breaking the band up.
Even though it's not the case.
And he just went to their show one time in Ohio.
And I think he's a big fan of Panther.
And I think he's a big fan of Panther.
And I think he's blaming the Abbot brothers for breaking the band up.
Even though it's not the case. And he just went to their show one time in Ohio. a member or a big fan of Panter and I think he's blaming like the the Abbott brothers for breaking the band up
Even though it's not the case and he just went to their show one time in Ohio
There's like footage of it. It's pretty wild. You could watch it online breeze. Yeah, it's the guy takes dying back around the neck
And like shoots at some other people and then I think put like two right to right clean his head
I'm like a headlock and then I think put like two right, directly in his head from my headlock. And then an off duty, an off duty police officer had his
gun on him and he went in through the back door and shot him
to death over another guy's shoulder.
Like he was holding another guy hostage.
That guy talks about it in the behind the music.
The guy's the guy describing these being there and he's like,
he's also such a hippie still like dip shit
Rody guy, so it is funny here and go and he's got me around the neck and I'm like damn man stop killing my friends man
It's like he means it but it's such like just sounds like Rody talk says like Jay Davis
They've called me TLC killer man. Wow.
You don't have to play that.
Yeah, that's tragic shit right there.
Yeah, go back to the racist rants.
Yeah, let's, let's, I, Christine, can you go from the murder back to the racist rants?
Thank you.
Thanks.
Let's go to lighten this up a little bit. It's the most saying if black power is okay and this is okay and this is why can't like
white pride be okay.
Was like his point for now he's going fuck that black power shit. This is like, it's like a Nick the Apollo show.
It's just Nick the Apollo.
We're going to end hearty tattoo sleeve shirt.
It's so blurry.
You can put that out there.
Nick the Apollo live with the Acropolis.
with the acropolis.
It's hatred from Black people. I'm not like I am a cop with a group of music. You want to sing it? You are going to be all right.
Damn, maybe we should get maxed to this show.
No, no, no.
I think he's to hear these things.
I'm very, I think five finger death punch.
No, you're right, but let me tell you though,
this, there's not a fucking chance in how this happens. Why on the talc?
I show because it's my talent show. It's app, but these guys he is going to be on his bed.
First of all, I think he's substantially older than us now and he's like he's taking his lumps in life for like what happened
You know, I mean so like, but I don't know if he doesn't still feel this way, but there's not a
Metallica doesn't give a shit. Panter is definitely selling tickets,
but those shows are gonna sell it no matter what.
They'd be off that day if he did something like that.
You think he had a moment of clarity at some point
where he's like, he's here, come on, give a different speech.
Yeah, he has guys, white power.
I've done a little research on the internet.
It's not that cool. Hahaha. Hey, we did do a lot of messed up stuff.
Like recently.
Oh, we shit.
Go, keep going.
This next song goes onto one of the little fucking screens for it out here.
What the hell?
This one called the final crime crease. By the way, it is in the set. Yeah. Why y'all? It's a whole final conference.
By the way, it is in the set.
That's the same song he started the next thing with.
He does his racist rant before primal, what did it, primal concrete?
It's a Phil speech on the set list.
He feels speech.
Yeah.
On the set list it says, for sure.
Phil speech.
And then primal concrete.
You think you ran it?
He did it one night, but it just came out. And he like you know it we should add that yeah, and the guys go well
I feel it is a natural break in the show
So I probably time to take it yeah, I like it. I like when the breaks happen naturally
And that feels like a good spot to just go and I'm like I don't know
Something about white power or maybe you're just like for black power. You dance around it every night, see where it goes.
More.
It's a nice organic flow to it.
Hey, hey guys, it's old Phil again.
Dude, how do we have no reads with how funny this show is?
Mm-hmm.
Get this off my chest.
Get this off my chest.
First thing I want to say is, Panther is not a fan of any other racist degenerating every show.
It gets worse and worse.
Pantera is for whites only.
Last concert he's actually speaking in German.
Last concert he's speaking in German.
Last concert he's not.
I ain't.
And then back there I was like, oh, just say primal concrete.
Let's go.
We got to pay the union fees if you talk anymore.
Dude, if we go over time, you know they hit us time and a half for the union.
Turn up the lights together, see everybody's falling face.
I was going to make sure the crowd's white.
Beautiful. Beautiful white audience. I'm gonna make sure the crowds white beautiful white all you beautiful Caucasian
Got some white shit tell y'all
I got some white shit tell y'all. It's a goddamn shame.
It's a goddamn shame.
The black people get the drink out of the same fountains.
At the oldest 30, at the youngest one, about 15, 14, 16, all the way up to that fucking age group.
It's a goddamn shame.
We're in front of him and going into this thing thing. Let me say this. Let me say this
Take
Oh, they said my real rapist my disguise just fucking air and out of there skies this therapy
So gel here
Is our guest here. Yeah, nice go keep on Did you say I'm a real rapist? No
He needs a therapist. Do you say I need a therapist? No, no, how are you sure? I'm sure he said something with an ist
Yeah, but it wasn't either what thing we said. What is it? What's it? I think he back up 20 seconds just back up 20 seconds
He was he might he might be reaching out for help
Maybe dog whistling for help. I love that guy.
That's what we're doing.
Well, I'm gonna go back.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. When all we are the nearest people, they all must be fucking no more than what. At the oldest party, at the youngest one about fucking 15, 14, 16 all the way up to the
eighth group.
It's a bad dance thing.
We're fucking going into this thing.
Now let me say this, let me say this.
Take that.
And I'm gonna reiterate this, I'm gonna reiterate this because we're gonna fucking feel this.
We're gonna feel that.
All through the fucking press hall. the entire tour. The entire tour. Show I need to stop right here and say the exact same point.
This does feel a little bit like how I felt the band stained was around Aaron Lewis when
I saw them last time. And he just kept on, you know, he'd be like, Hey guys, you all know
Fauci lied that piece of shit. Joe Biden's going to have your mother's raped this next calls cause been a while
But this again is not the people I find the people hilarious
How do you like the audience that we were in long Island and they started going fuck Joe Biden?
You know corn's about to come on no one gives a fuck about this year
Okay, keep going. He's got more to say
And why is blackface such a big deal
All through the fucking press
Learning the truth about us and the other monsters All through the fucking press and out there. That's okay. There are no cruisers, bodies, and nail their balls to the scapegoat.
They already got all their good shit to us.
So, what's your, check this bullshit out. Straight out. Straight out.
We got friends, all of us, of all race, black, black, Hispanic.
I bet he does.
None of them here right now at this concert, but we have a couple of them.
No Asians.
Yeah.
That's my one thing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the band runs away. You're not wrong Jacob. They split. Yep, we do. We're getting it,
buddy. We're getting it by your combat boots. This is why people think Panterra is a white
super his pants. Oh, but you know, and all the Confederate flags and those and stuff like
that too, didn't help. Don't forget the fans going, yeah, they're also from Texas and Louisiana.
So there's a lot going on. I am so glad Max had overnight on Friday and we're going Sunday
They talk they discuss racism in their songs. Oh
If I'm damn time back Darrell. I'm backstage doing a Rodney danger field
I'm backstage talking to the black
PA
It's pretty heavy. This is not my thing. He just talks. Yeah. Oh yeah,
when someone looks over, if you're looking, yeah, I guess we got to do you got to give that
if someone looks over, you have to give the chirping hand signal. Yeah.
There goes again. So bullshit. What they do is you do the Hitler mustache and chirping
and jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk. Hey, what's going on on stage right now? I go call my kids when this tap
starts. Yeah.
God, play.
Watch the news.
Watch the day.
I was too strong friction between every mother fucking. I look, I tried for peace,
because I know God damn sympathizer. Cause you know what?
I ain't trying for peace because I ain't no goddamn sympathizer because you know what?
Every mother fucking black ass red-boomed mother fucking Dallas, wait, he and we show you know
No more talking bad about why he he's had it
He's great. I mean not in the way he thinks he is
But he's great I really separate the art from the artist though, you know what I mean pretty stoked to see Phil on So I'm on fanfare on Friday
In fact everything in me wants to give a speech
You know guys been a while since I've addressed the audience and I'm gonna keep us under time. We're good
You know what black lives matter, but white lives, man
You haven't watched the news here with the same but these cops
y'all believe it
I think I speak for a couple of honkies here my bandmates who are running around here somewhere
My bandmates
Hi, now Zach Wild has to be like a wild is a new guy here
Probably get the word
Zach if I ever talked to you about how much I hate anti-black on black crime campaigns
This has been saying Oh shit.
This is insane.
Keep going.
If you go out on stage, it's all, also, believe me, I'm not going to stoop to any level.
So I want to say to each and every person in this whole motherfucking place no matter what you've got damn color is use your room on the fucking mind or change and then to wait up wait up
don't start seeing after everything I say the Santa Skid Row culture is a fucking
pantser. Yes he's got lines. This is lines. Yeah he's got lines. That makes it worse. Yeah.
It's a good line though. The Skid Row line I do like it. That's a good line though the skid row line. I do like it. That's a good idea though. He heard it skid row line
He did the skid row line the first night got a big plaza and they went back like dude that skid row line was the shit
And he wrote it down. Yeah, I know he's that I know he's that Tuesday. He should be like this isn't a blank concert
You could throw a bon Jovi something you want to say, so we're not like corny. We're we're fucking pantera white power
Wow, I mean shit yeah
Means that like that though, you know.
It's gonna wait. It's gonna be primal concrete.
Christine play it.
This is set.
It's a setlet. It goes song, song, song, racist rant, song, song, song. You know, it was funny. This plate turned us like go go forward in this one.
It's the last one.
Yeah, I just want to see.
Because this might not be, I'll tell you,
none of these are the one I was talking about.
The one I was talking about was he connected this line
where he goes.
I got these shirts now to say stop black on black crime.
I guess that means what?
Black on white crimes, okay?
Is that okay with you guys?
It's like, what? Is that his new, that okay with you guys?
What is that is new that's his new closer?
I think there's a really What I bet he doesn't say shit at Metallica?
He's not gonna say a fucking
Please record he's not going to say a thing fucking pussy ladies gentlemen our guest is here
Everybody he's coming in you know, hi buddy. How am I currently?
Joe's got a he's coming in hot currently on the I never promised you a rose garden tour
It is the Larry's Joe the Rose a joining us anybody Joey Joey
I made my once a year's Trumboli. I see it. I can't have it. I'm gonna die
I know you said it you said you're gonna throw me off my course though
With your offering of shrumboli. What's the course? I said, okay? Okay. No, no
Did Bobby tell you the discussion I had with him today? No, no, no, oh really I didn't you're real quiet I'm very quiet. Can I talk can I tell it? Can I bring this up? I don't care
Did you guys plan this like he jays gonna act like he doesn't know what I'm about talk about. Are you mentally ill? Is there something wrong with you? I didn't have no idea what we're
talking about. No, I didn't fucking say the only thing I had prepared for you and Kevin that I want
you to tell on the show what happened at the the rap concert we went to with the next year's
one of my favorite. Yeah, yeah, I will tell that story. But what's this? J, let me tell you what
this is. Serious Exhib.
Jesus.
Serious Exhib.
Look behind you first.
One of the heads up is here.
Oh good.
Good.
Take this to the top.
Yeah, then take this up the ladder.
I text Evans today.
I go Evans.
Subways real dicey these days.
Christine is Evans by the way.
Yeah, they all know.
I've done the show more than you have actually.
Yeah, you can feel it
Third Mike for three months didn't ask for a dime couldn't get an Uber fair today to get up to this place
Probably should ask for a dime. You might be sitting here right now. I don't think I didn't have a shot
You had to go make dumb sandwiches
Now you can't even eat them. I call I call I call Evans. I
go the subway is dicey. Can you guys please cover my Uber because it's like
$50 each way. She's like serious can't. Now they can't afford it.
Serious can't afford every other thing I do in the city for free name name three Fox news one gut felt
No, no, no, I know I'm saying Fox News got one one. Yeah, okay one ready. I'm we're sitting here the Ian fight-hands podcast
That's two two that's two two true's true. I did his live show.
They offered me no car.
Oh, I said to him, I need a car.
He said, okay, we will cover it.
Oh, you're demanding a car.
Demand.
Oh, I asked for it.
Oh, yes, it's making demands.
Demand, that's a demand.
That's a demand.
That's saying, I'm going to Uber out there and he said, no, we'll cover it.
Don't worry about it.
Did you say, are you going to pay for an Uber?
I'm going to Uber out there.
I said, I said, I'm going to have to take an Uber out there there and he said we will cover it. So what's the half of it? Now you
never paid for it. So that don't count. But he offered. That doesn't count. He offered Rick
Glassman. Ubered me. Okay. Are you sure fair? Rick Glassman didn't Uber me. He offered it. He
offered it. Didn't know of me either. Put it right on the table. Right out to Jersey City. Nothing. Had a fine parking and everything. No one guest toast on the
bod fire. The, you know, the time I've put into these walls. I can't get an Uber from
Syria. Series XM doesn't have Uber money. I don't even know where to begin. I don't
know where to begin asking for money. They don't Uber me here. You get paid to be here. Do you realize
I'm the only person in this room losing money right now? Literally? Literally the only
person down money. I don't know. I put about 20 K on a WNBA game. It's currently going
on. I have to pay for my I pay for my serious and I pay for my parking. But you get paid
to be here. Yeah, it's good money. Yeah, such a good job. It's a really good job.
It's a great job.
Okay, I'm happy for you guys.
I'm happy for you guys.
I just said in 45 minutes of traffic.
Joe, throw you a bill to get you to it from a bill.
No, no, no, no.
No, in finance, wouldn't do it.
I will.
No, I don't want to throw you.
Jay, I'll take half of that hit.
There you go, dude.
We're throwing you a cool yard.
How then are you starting the money?
To pay for what?
We don't have got the money.
We got one of the guys from ZZ Top
who's playing in the fishball.
Yeah, Billy Gibbons got his own over here.
I'm gonna cover that.
Sorry, I got a budget spin that Sugar Red guys
got his own station now.
It's called Flashbacks.
He might.
That might be true.
That's a shitty rock.
It is from the Indian station. It might be true. I's a shitty, shitty rock. It is true.
It might be true.
Mark, Mark, Mark my graph to me is like Nick Cannon.
I don't want to meet him because I bet they charmed me
and I like to just live in a world
where I can shit on them both.
I bet Mark my graph rules.
He seems like a nice guy.
Madam Watch, he was very nice.
Yeah.
It's a funny reference.
Yeah, so the third eye blind guy is around now.
Why, why, why aren't you gonna take the subway? Why? It's a subway. It's one shot. I don't I hate the
subway. We're getting stabbed in front of the tracks. You right? You're really got to do
what happened to him on the stand this subway. Yeah, but that was a lie. We found out.
It's not a lie that happened. Oh, sorry. You said that. Are you saying that? I've been
saying that in the Facebook group, Camper that's that you know uh... uh...
no bobby was uh... bobby thwarted the guy
he did uh... the guy do it through jiu-jitsu kick
and knock bobby's phone out of his hand and bobby mentally jet item down i
i i mentally and then i hit him with slam poetry and he backed off here's the
other thing
you know he showed him a picture of max is sort of crying
uh... don't I have to get home
to my boy. I couldn't show him a picture of Max is my phone was on the tracks. Oh, yeah,
that's right. I kept going my boys on the tracks. My boy, my only memories of him. Here's
the other thing. Yeah. Can I come into this building once ever? Yeah, where there's not
an issue at that damn security desk. You know, you could have done when you use one of these,
they get right in.
I'll break that in half.
You have no idea.
Oh, good luck.
Those things are tough.
That's like a polymer.
I'll do one better.
I'll throw you onto the subway tracks
and I'll be sitting in that chair next week.
How about that?
How about that?
I'm not saying, I don't want anything that get to happen,
but I will say, if you happen to die in whatever way Bobby
I have to bring in Joe by next week. Sure. So if he throws you on the tracks
He will achieve his goal, but I don't want that. I don't want that one bit. Don't don't murder Bobby
I don't want to murder you know sound. I might have to you know you sound very
Very monotone with that Jay. No, it's just I mean the guy giving a hate speech was a little more passionate than you.
Oh look, it's nice to have a plan B. You know what I mean, but it's nice to have a plan B.
But it's you know, I can't prepare for that.
You'd have to die.
I mean, under any circumstance, and then I'd have to immediately call Joe the Rosa.
Call Joe and then work out his travel because I pay for my own parking.
I mean, how many years, ONA?
How many years, ONA?
Can I tell you something, what really bothered me?
How many years of the bond fire?
I was doing the ONA for how many years, nothing,
coming in, whatever, never even question it.
And then when it split up, and then it went to OP
and whatever, and...
Jim.
The only one was your actual friend?
Jim, Jim and Sam and OP in the afternoon, whatever it was and then um, she's opi and Jim
No, when it split again when it was and he was having like Chris Voss come in and Chris
He was paying that in shard. He was paying them like seven bills an episode. Oh
Yeah, no, he was paying crazy at one point listen
Seven let's focus on you know, you know, told me riding himself out boss
Yeah, cuz he's dumb. He's like, hey, he's giving me he's giving me six 50s. He's giving Chris seven
Only boss and I went like this crazy money. I want like this. I go. They don't he doesn't pay me anything
Yeah, he's like oh yeah, no, he never he never yeah, but I never was an irregular. Yeah, on OP. I was
I mean, I just want to I just want to go back through my bonfire tenure. Yeah, tenure.
Lockdown. Third Mike. Sure. Never asked for a dime. He brought this up to me. He said,
I was three months. Two months, I said. All right. Two months. I was going to
answer that a little bit. I thought we were bringing Joe back to life
from a very scary time where it was something
for you to do every day, not just sitting.
You were helping buddy, this ain't about me and you.
This is about me and the suits.
And the suits.
Understand what I'm saying right now.
But he's saying,
it's true you did bring your talent
to the show for multiple months, unpaid.
But he said he did.
He always showed up when that square jawed
voice shucking
half
here
to sit in that chair over there.
It's God damn voice.
I'll have you know there's no more voices on this show.
Yeah, that makes you happy.
The voices are fucking
I try to get an Uber because Howard Stern needs to broadcast from Tijuana
They're still paying Dan. He's on a long contract like a sports figure. Oh, is he really he retire
But he's got a pay in for two more years now. Oh god. I would call the map to his and scream dad
He wouldn't answer
I can't get a dime because you know how what I'm saying that Jacob's gonna
Jacob's gonna pay for your Uber hearing and away and then he's gonna expense it
You got Jacob. Yeah, there you go. No, you don't have to do that. What the fuck?
You come in here and make everybody feel like shit and then we give you what you want cuz we love you
I don't want to you
The old Bobby coming out. There's the old fat Bobby come You
I gotta tell you I've been noticing is lately Bobby's getting the real angry eyes. It's when they tilt down
I was fat my
I'll tell you I had a thing with the bank before I left my apartment I was was so mad between that and the no Uber money. Yeah, I got in the car
I was coming up here. I called Keith. Oh God and the only thing that cheered me up was Keith
and I did rolling stones top 100 fat comedians and we just kept talking about how far you were getting pushed down the list every time we named somebody new
And I would go I would go surely him for it Keith would go Bobby is at 88
Jopinette got Bobby is that a hundred he's off the list
There was one of the hurtful things everyone
It was one of the hurtful things everyone Jumping that died and someone
20 minute ago has it feel to be the
Fatest comic you're
Congratulations, you tell me shit
And her my feelings was oh the feeling her I had that's always a funny story me and Karen Feehan
Where she came when Ralphie may died. Yeah. She goes,
who has Big J. Ocus in the next fat comic Deadpool? Go who besides me or something? And I was so hurt
in a hotel room. I called Lewis and I was like, she canceled their show against digital because you
don't respect your elders. But I was like such a wiener. Respect your elders. I was a weiner. She's five years older than any of us
from the head up
How about Jacob's never seen her only fans. That's okay. Yeah, have you never seen it? I've never seen it. No, no, I'm sorry. I can't eat any of your shroom. It's really gave a pork
What? Yeah, that's the real truth. Why do you give up pork? Because I held a pot belly pig on Christmas.
Oh my God.
Oh Chris is definitely his podcast and I was like, I think that's it for me, man.
Really?
It was so much like it was so.
Man, did you come out of the closet too?
Sentient, huh?
Did you come out of the closet too?
Which one of the T-shirts says B-Week apologize?
You took a nice fucking convenient turn, didn't you?
You were a Mr. Edge until everybody said start a power job.
This is passive aggressive sarcasm to my wife.
Because my therapist told me to say this to her
and then I got the shirt and I said it to her.
And then I took it back and we argued again.
How's that?
And then I told her to go fuck yourself.
How's that?
You want that Bobby?
You got fucking fat Bobby, Rosa.
I miss that Bobby.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, if I held the suckling pig,
you know what I would have? I'd have it on a goddamn spit.
That means this fucked me up, man. I'd kick it upside down.
Yeah. And we and he handed it to me at one point.
He was like, do you want to hold it?
And when he was handing it to me, it got like scared.
Because it was, you know, because it was up in the air.
And it was like kind of squealing.
And like you could see that it was like scared because it was up in the air and it was like kind of squealing and you could see that it was like scared and the lady that was like the handler
whatever she's like it's okay it's okay just you know hold it like this
whatever and as soon as I sat down it put its head on my chest and it calmed
down it was scary because didn't think you had enough strength to hold it out
it thought you were his mother. Mama.
That was it.
I couldn't.
I was like, I don't think I can do it.
If I held the scared little pig, it would have every right to be scared because I'd be
hucking it in the oven.
I just tell you where your mind is.
I still serve it though.
I'm tell you where your mind is at.
That exact exact same thing you said, with said in the studio, not an hour ago for our
pre-record Thursday.
Yep.
By one Jenny J. Wow, Farley from Jersey Shore.
Yeah, she has a nice thing.
She also didn't want to eat the stromboli for the reason.
It doesn't have pork because she held or loves little pigs now.
Little piggies.
No shit.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I guess it could happen, but here's the thing.
Anything else I'd have a dog or a cat a cat as I said feels like this thing to me
I had the same emotion if I was holding a rat. Yep. I'd be like it's a weird. It's an animal. It smells like
Animal it's pretty it's pretty amazing. It doesn't act. I don't think you would I thought that too
And then I held it and I was like Jesus dude. This thing's like a dog. It needs baby pigs
There you do suckling pig well pop belly pig is suckling
It's young suckling pig is a young pig. I only I only pork from old pigs. Yeah
That's what I choose to do I draw a line to I've cut out I've cut out certain meats one by one
Yeah, you didn't come out of your dating app did you?
I don't use an app I go right to the farm hold school right to you go right to open mic stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it it's a joke fucking kids what other believe me, you can't get canceled. What? Number five's not gonna make it?
You and you, stop it.
No, no, just one by one, I stopped with Ville.
Why?
Dude, cause it's, it's just, I don't know.
It was just, it started to bother me.
And then I stopped with Lam, and then I stopped with,
and then I stopped with, and then I stopped with me and then I stopped with lamb and then I stopped with
So good I won't eat I don't want eat like lamb go Ville I won't eat dog or cat I feel bad about pigs and I want a small Cambodian children. I have a bad
I feel cut the line. I don't feel bad enough about cows yet, but I'm trying to get there
Yeah, you can chickens. I don't feel bad and fish. I don't feel bad, but maybe that'll change
You know, don't knock one over and see if it gets said when
it's on the ground. I think I feel like can't I'm maybe I'm wrong. I feel like they don't
like a moat in the same way. No, they actually hate us. Do you remember what Patricia's joke?
I don't know if it makes you feel bad. Do you have a Patricia's joke about fish? Yeah.
You know, I'll eat a fish because they don't have eyebrows. No, I I live I live yeah, because anything does not have eyelids. They look the same the whole
time where they'd be murdered. Oh, I'm happy. That's funny. That's funny. Look at
dude. How can you you're a foodie? How can you be a foodie and start thinking you
food cute? It's two it's two it's two things, that's part of it.
But the other part of it is,
and look, there are studies that say,
cholesterol and food is nothing to do with your cholesterol,
which I don't quite understand,
but there are studies that say,
you can eat all the meat you want, it doesn't matter.
Doesn't.
So the other part of it for me though was
in trying to get my cholesterol in a better place.
I just was like, I don't want to sit and have to be like, how many times did I eat red
meat this week?
How many times did I put, like, oh, it's salami.
That's probably wasn't the, like, I was just like, if it's turkey, chicken, fish, I'm like
I can just eat it.
Like I don't think about it and it doesn't worry me, you know?
So that was kind of the other side of it. but I don't even know if that, that's
accurate. Who has a baby pic, Chris? Look at these little pork chops.
No, he rented, he like rented it as a joke because we call each other pig all the
time. Right. So he rented it and, and he go, he said to me, he goes, dude,
I don't think I can even pork anymore. Yeah, look at it.
What was meant to call, hey, it was like, this little pig getting water,
put on his face is adorable. Yeah.
I'll tell you what it might be.
People have a mess house pets.
I thought that was just soup.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
But people have these things as house pets.
They couldn't have a chicken in your house.
Yeah, well, I would give a pig in your house as a pet.
And you know what?
There's no such thing as baby little mini pigs.
They all get big.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, what?
I'm saying I want to have a pig pet.
Well, they get these little...
They get these little...
They get these little pigs and they think,
oh, it's going to stay the size and then become big pigs.
And they become pork chops.
I can't speak to that.
They're also one of the smartest animals.
Which I don't know.
Yeah, and how do we catch them and kill them so easy?
Yeah.
If they're so smarter.
That's so bad.
Why haven't they fought back?
How come every denny's, I see them on on my plate you with a bit of denny somehow
It must be brilliant playing with the dog. Yeah
Dogs learn how to be cute enough to not get eaten by people. Well not not overseas buddy. Yeah
Agents hate dogs. Yeah, yeah, they worship dragons and shit though
Would you eat a dog if you were in China and they were like hey, it's dog. No, not at all
in shit though. Would you eat a dog if you were in China and they were like, hey, it's dark?
No.
Not at all.
No, I won't even try like frog legs or anything here.
I had frog legs.
I won't do it.
You know why?
Because it looks like frog legs.
By the way, they just put frog legs on your plate.
That's crazy.
I have an out-of-left field thing, but I'll wait.
I just want to put a pin in it.
Okay.
I don't want to like, I'm not trying to bo-guard the conversation.
You're not bo-guarding anybody.
We love you so hard. What's Yeah, why do you seem so down?
She's sad or something. He's just said I love you and whatever you want and I'll pay for everything
No, he said it. He said it like in a powder way though. No, no, he said I think I'm just pissed off this goddamn company for where they treat you
I don't know man. I'm not seeing the Phil on Sama racist rants
This is we're gonna go see him on Friday.
Does he say racist shit?
What would he say?
It's like, it's very nictopolo.
It's right in the edge.
Did he call it nictopolo?
A great parameter.
What do you call it nictopolo?
I thought he nailed it.
He has, by the way, we're finding out
through this particular video, this compilation,
that part of their set lists on this particular tour
was him going out there to talk about, look, if
you're allowed to have like black pride and brown pride, why can't
you have white pride? We can't, it's just and he did it the same
way every time except it would get a little more racist each
night. It was like a set though, he started to keep adding to it.
And he didn't want anybody to get hurt except for these black
rap ass motherfuckers.
Did he say that?
Yeah.
All right, well then that's, yeah, that's,
well I give a little plaque,
Chris, you can play a little bit of this one.
I just close that.
I don't want anyone to get hurt,
except these black rap-ass motherfuckers.
He's, it's like that.
Wasn't exactly.
Oh, okay.
Let's go the end. Go to the most replay part there at the end that's never a good sign I'm not prejudice at all starting it with that
sentence is never there you go time back
friends very cold
We have friends of every kind of good I think that's the white culture and the only culture in the world that is not allowed to have pride in black, black, Hispanic, black, and even the black world.
But if you say white, black, they're racist.
Look what you say, what the bull shit is now on. Yeah, the fist in the air is the little thing that he was the explanation point. I Get I get what he's trying to say. Yes, that is the thing. He's trying to say like don't be ashamed of your
He thinks he's saying don't be ashamed of yourself no matter what you look like
This is a guy that's shot junk into his veins for so long
He's so many so many conversations backstage with other guys in his band going like, it's fucked up. It's like, now we have to feel shitty to be white.
It's just a white black as black guys are doing like all the rap songs, saying like
fuck whitey and shit. He's having the same conversation we have at the table at the
sell. Just with a thousands of people. We're just not ending our set with it. Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah, so I'm gonna see you on Friday.
I'm glad we're going to five finger depth budgets.
Should I show my swastika branding on my side?
Dog whistle.
Dog whistle.
The where are they playing?
They're opening from Metallica Friday.
Ah, be like Metallica.
I do, but I've...
I'm just done.
Down with concerts?
No, not at all.
I've just seen them enough times.
I know what they're gonna do.
Like, they...
I don't...
The last two albums have not wowed me in any way.
They're just kind of like,
Yeah, that's a metallic album you know
like i'm not excited to see the new songs anymore
and then the old songs i've heard a million times so i'm just like here
but they put on a kill of a show they're great
i'm not going to
i don't know he just talked me out of it
that was a bummer of a delivery
well that's the truth though
you won't get it from this guy this guy anything he's got to tell you to get you got me to the cure. I know that I went I went to the fucking yeah, you went to the cure
Yeah, I almost killed myself. Yeah, well make the same mistake again. I didn't go to the cure
Yeah, we did yeah, did you go? Yeah, yeah, you hated it. Yeah, he was front row dancing with that free
But now they were a box. They went a box with celebrities. Oh, yeah, you could've been there with us
You said no, I have my own tickets
Thanks Jay. And then you said Bobby come with me. It'll be so great. It wasn't yeah
It was so long and terrible the uh, yeah, row J C 86. I didn't like uh
Three minutes of that concert combined. I liked parts of it. What part? I like the crow song
That's the only song of theirs. I like really and then the ones I the ones I knew
No, I don't like like Friday. I'm in love
Thought she loved love the cure and Dawn went and Max went and Dawn loves to cure too
But turns out turned out no one loved the cure
Well Max was having a good time. time yeah i love the last five songs
that's fine they held you hostage
the first twenty four yeah
no i i i keep saying the same thing if they had played
forty minutes less
forty and sprinkled the hits in throughout the show
there would have been like high points to hit
but the the the approach they did was like for hardcore fans.
They should have done it. I was like, and I admired that, but it wasn't for me.
They should have done a Bobby Lee set, come on, 35 and walk off.
Pull your ass out. Yeah, pull your ass out.
Yeah, they tore every fucking 10 years or something. So it's like, I get it.
They went out there and they're like, we're going to give you guys our all.
I hated it. I hate it.
I hated it.
But you went for Christine, that's nice.
We went.
She hated it.
I saw Jay leave like half, and I was like, I buried back
and we just went and got french fries.
I love it.
I love it.
Did you pay for him?
Yeah, we paid for him.
Wow, I had a whole room of free food.
You hang on one second, stop one second, you didn't.
No, yeah, yeah, I did.
Yeah. Who's from was it? Oh, I knew yeah I did. Yeah. Who's wrong was it?
Oh I knew several people in that room.
Who's wrong was it?
I have the hook up.
You didn't have the hook up.
In this particular instance,
Sal arranged it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But I knew other people in that room.
Yes, I would have two.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would have two.
It wouldn't have been my room.
Weird that you didn't.
We were the people Joe.
It's not weird that I didn't because you guys didn't fucking invite me. And you wouldn't have been my room. Weird that you didn't. We were the people Joe. It's not the way that I didn't because you guys
didn't fucking invite me.
And you haven't invited me.
You want to do your little fucking company picnic.
I didn't want to show it to Joe.
Joe, Joe, Joe, look at me.
Joe, I didn't want to go.
I beg you had to.
I beg.
Because boss said so.
Listen.
I'm boss really so. Listen. You're gonna be in the snake pit.
You're gonna be in the snake pit.
Boss really put me in there.
I'm trying to tell you something.
It's gonna happen all over again on Friday
when you're sighing.
This fucking thing.
No, he's not going to fight.
I'm not gonna wait.
I'm not gonna wait.
Fight fingers.
Fight finger death.
He's going Sunday.
If Max comes up with Jorzenah Hoodie,
I'm gonna punch him right in the face.
Bobby, Bobby's gonna go on Sunday. We're taking a, we're gonna be in the snake pit.
That is like the, you know, out of the stage has like the,
That's fun.
And you're inside the stage.
In the middle.
Oh, that's fun.
Where's that at?
MetLife also.
They're doing two nights, no repeat songs.
That I would have liked.
See, now that I would have liked, and Sunday's my birthday.
Happy birthday.
Hmm. Happy birthday.
Hmm. That hurts. That hurts a little bit. There's definitely no
uh, Marsh pit inside there, right? No. Okay. No. No. Everybody's 70.
There's no Marsh pit at the whole place. Really? Um, are you coming with me to
Megadeth? Atlantic City, right? Yeah. Yeah. No calendar. No, but yes, I've
please put it in my head that I'm going to this. All right, please
September. No, it's later than that. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
uh, that's gonna be fun on Sunday. Yeah. It's gonna be good. Max is one of the fans made him a
metal vest. It's great. And with Metallica on it and his name on it, he put it on, he wore it out to dinner.
I swear to God, he wore it.
I was like, Matt, she can't, he goes, I just let him wear it.
Yeah, he's metal, all black.
That's exciting.
Yeah, I'm gonna teach you how to smoke cigarettes as we go.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Does it have studs?
Huh?
It has studs, yeah.
He's gonna see me smoking cigarettes, He's gonna see how cool shit it is
I've already told them what a piece of shit you are. Okay, so he knows not to do that
You don't want to be like him. You don't want to be like that's fine. You don't want to be like anybody
I know like max what's your dad bagging on you?
It's all right. How do you feel about joints? Yeah, that's no
I told you when I was 10 his age Aussie first concert ever went to and the
first time I ever got high was Aussie concert. I bet if we use them to rob a place later.
Absolutely. Okay. I like that. At least we still do. As long as he doesn't do drugs.
We're hanging out with Joe Derosa. Everybody we got to take our first break. That's the
first hour. Joe Derosa News Show. I never promised you a rose garden touring the country
now. For tickets and all tour dates, go to jodeerosa.com.
He's got a new album out with his band too.
Go check that out.
It's on his Instagram.
The first song is up there, video and Ev with Jeffrey Gourian.
So check that out.
Yeah, it's called Salsa Winfall.
Album comes out Friday.
It's available for sale now in Bandcamp.
What kind of tunes is it?
It's like Bancy Fun.
Yeah.
Beard, odd.
It's fun. It's a band who you make it with.
It's me and my buddy Paul.
We recorded it a while back and then some of the podcast fans heard about it and wanted
to actually cue heard it and then was like start talking about it and then people were
like, what is it?
We want to hear it.
So we kind of built up to this release and made the video.
Just self-produced.
Videos on the No Press Network today.
Can we watch it later?
Yeah, sure. We'll watch when we come back videos on the no-press network today. Can we watch it later? Yeah sure.
We'll watch when we come back. Alright, I watched it today.
Let's watch when we come back and we'll be right back.
Thanks. It's the bonfire.
Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual
Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire
for a special offer.
That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com
and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates
coming to a city near you.
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