The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Travel Pillows

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

A wholesome conversation about travel pillows takes a sexy turn! ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the Bond Fire with Big J. O'Crosson and Robert Kelly. With a miss a dancer, it's a source of anger. People feel it everywhere. With a miss a dancer, I've got colon cancer. This is a weird way to tell you all. Oh! Mmm, mmm, mmm. Oh Jacob's currently grabbing us some plates for you don't famous blueberry crumb
Starting point is 00:00:41 Do you almost made me spit egg out on the microphone egg which is one of the grossest things to spit out by the way I've had eggs spit on me before it It's, it shuts the conversation down. It really does. Also, I feel like when we were at Cisco's, out in thing, I had a lot, we, and you did a lot of addressing the group because we split the bill. We split well. Well, let's stop. Let's stop there.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I mean, let's stop. Let's go back, because I, look, I love you. You're gonna make yourself look bad here. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. You're gonna make it a weird complaint right now. Okay, okay. I, I feel because I love you. You're gonna make yourself look bad here. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, You're making a weird complaint right now. Okay. Okay. I'm, I feel like I should make it. So, too late. You tried to big time me.
Starting point is 00:01:11 You. Christine, what are you nodding your head for? She can't wait for one of my friends to go against me. And I swear to you on a cruise ship once. On a cruise ship once, I said something to Christine. Or no, I'm sorry I was arguing with Lewis about something that I've definitely argued with Christine about two and I was like Lewis Bob and he's made his pointer whatever and Christine not just
Starting point is 00:01:35 emotionally or verbally she stood behind him and Dave like joined an alliance against me on a cruise ship. Well it was about your sexuality so I can understand that. Okay. Depends on what it is. I guess we put it like that, I guess I get it too. Jay is gay.
Starting point is 00:01:51 He is. Jay. Let me just say. I've been saying it for years. There's no movement. It's just laying there flaccid and you're working and nothing's happening. God damn, wow.
Starting point is 00:02:04 She's gonna, Chris, he's gonna book on tape at this point and nothing's happening. God damn, wow. She's gonna, Christine's gonna book on tape at this point. Oh, nothing's happening. Listen to me, eh. I, uh, Christine hates soft cock, maybe more than anything in the world. Okay, you know, I had to listen back to that to make sure I didn't send completely crazy. And I just wanna say, the reason,
Starting point is 00:02:22 it makes you feel like insecure and ugly and like you're not You know a track like the guys are attracted to you So you kind of shut down a little like I want to say the first thing I think like before like I justify with coke dick and alcohol But I go oh this guy's not attracted to me because he's trying to it feels like he's trying to stick a water balloon in your vagina I mean that's even worse than sucking a plastic dick. Yeah, but the thing is that my point was in her telling, there's no, we've had this conversation, right? But there's just no, there's no period of like grace
Starting point is 00:02:57 of trying between I'm trying. And it's not working and I'm pissed at you now. It's because I'm trying really hard. That's not working. But I pissed at you now. It's because I'm trying really hard. That's not working. Well, I sat on skanks last night. Christine said a good high bar for blowjob in my life. She throws the jaws at him.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah, I just don't like working that hard for. May I ask a question Jay, not to sidetrack over this, but let's get back to the, when you big time me. Yeah. I'm just gonna, let me just state my case. Sure. We're all out, me and you are there, right? We kind of set this thing up.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Well. Okay, wait, wait, wait, you're right, you're right, you're right, let me back up. This is a tradition that you do at Moon Tower. It's Dan's favorite thing. So already I'm taking you to my ex-girlfriend's favorite place. All right, all right. All right, all right.
Starting point is 00:03:48 So to say, hey, let's go in on this as it's, I was like, you know what we go, we'll get there. The place is wildly affordable. It's, you know, it's not an expensive place. Because it's Mexican. Because it's Mexican. Because it's Mexican. I think it only cost us 40 million pesos. Which is eight bucks. Which is Mexican. They have Mexican prices. Because it's Mexican. I think it only cost us 40 million pesos. Which is eight bucks.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Which is eight bucks. Which is eight bucks. But yeah, we went to Dan's place. Yeah. Bobby. He saw the picture. Bobby borderline unimpressed until he got a hold of that squirt butter. That does change the game for everybody. Well got a hold of that squirt butter.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That does change the game for everybody. Well, the biscuit and the squirt butter and the queso that were off the chart. Off the chart. But the... what was it called? Mi-yes. Mi-yes. Now. It looked like a plate of farts.
Starting point is 00:04:39 It does resemble a plate of farts. You got to throw it in the tortilla, get the little sour cream. You got to throw it in there and fold it up and get that visual away from your face. You do. It looks like somebody already ate it. But here's the thing, we do the thing, but we invited a bunch of people
Starting point is 00:04:56 that we all kind of, me and you both know. Of course. Right? And with some new attractions, a Jordan Jensen, which I love to see. Now I was gonna take the whole bill. I was gonna go. Hey, I'm the new girl in town, right? So let me take the let me for my first time. Hey, let me get the hit. Let me take it. Okay, this This is a new wrinkle in the situation in my in my never come up yet
Starting point is 00:05:20 Okay, okay, first of all you love saying to wrinkle so do I I was gonna use it in a second But all right, so I Really was looking forward to say I will wrinkle and I held back the new wrinkle You're gonna drop it like thunder in a few minutes. I was gonna drop a new wrinkle like thunder and you took it But that's okay. Hey, it's out there in the universe everybody's new I'll be hold for one second Jacob. Where the fuck are your chains? I mean you have to wear these chains. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Now, can you put them on? Thank you. Can you take one layer off? Nice freezing and the heat's on. No, it's, are you joking with me right now? Oh my life. Am I crazy, Christine? It's up. You could bury it all the way down. See, that's... It was down.
Starting point is 00:06:14 But, that's up. You turned it up. I didn't touch it today. Okay, I didn't either. Why, why? I don't know, I didn't because you looked at me. Jake, you put it up. I did, I said, I looked over, I said I'm surprised. You're so cold. I don't even touch it because
Starting point is 00:06:30 Every other the whole building is cold today. Hey Cheese I don't even know what we're arguing about So you're so you say you're freezing cold. I go it's actually we don't have the airpins It's better in here than it is the rest of the building great So yeah, I'm happy I might I might peel off of the layer in a few days. I wouldn't be lovely or do whatever makes you feel comfortable But I don't want to get yelled at like that. I don't I'm sorry This is a whole new wrinkle Okay, I don't want to hack term now. I
Starting point is 00:07:04 Hate to say if we can only get one new wrinkle per Joe. Listen, dude Yeah, I want to say you gave me the hi hat Okay, I was gonna I was gonna let me just say keep saying it keep saying that you were gonna I was getting one stop In my plan These terms hi hat hi site new wrinkle New wrles of hindsight. New Rickles of hindsight. Because we're both bullshitting.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I watch a lot of interrogation videos now. Sensing we're both fully shit. So in my brain, I was like, you know, before you go in, you know, hey, I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna go and get it and cover it for everybody. I just want, hey, let me do a nice thing. Everybody's here. Me and you kind of, you kinda, the bonfire crew
Starting point is 00:07:47 kind of took everybody out, it's the thing. So let's, let me cover this. Let me do it because I'm the new guy on the block. This will be nice, you know? So I got up to go pay, right? And you had already taken care of it. You like I'm taking care of it. I already gave it a big.
Starting point is 00:08:02 If I could have a second here. Sure. I'd say that when someone walks into a place with that idea, as I did, they give the credit card to their girlfriend and go give this to them and tell them to put the whole thing on this. Bobby? Hi, how you doing?
Starting point is 00:08:18 Long time listen to first time caller. I didn't have a girlfriend there, on Norwife. I was by myself solo. So my idea was, as soon as we're kind of wrapping things up, right, I go find the lady, find the signolita and I give her my card and I go, hey, they were not an attentive group, by the way. They were not an attentive group of.
Starting point is 00:08:41 They disappeared for a long time. Long time. Long time. What? What? What what what the girl was good Never got my Either drink I ordered not one and I and I ordered cream. I never got cream for the coffee You never got cream. Yeah, which is fucking nuts Yeah, when you get coffee and you say can I get cream too? Yeah, you want it right away? You want it
Starting point is 00:09:03 You can't you can't bring cream and I had 25 minutes later because that's ice coffee. You know you want it right away. You want it. You can't you can't bring cream 25 minutes later because that's ice coffee. You know what? You're right. It's place sucks. Dan nice choice asshole. Way to make a place your favorite that sucks dick. So when you said let's do it together. I go let's play together. You go okay. okay, right and I'm not mad at Christine But she did really put me in my place she pushed back a little bit no she kind of said something at the end I don't know if you remember this Bring it up. Oh, yeah, oh she does that's good. I'm glad you remember that I said we split it and she goes
Starting point is 00:09:43 Actually not read what did you say exactly? No, you said I paid more and I said actually I up the tip so you didn't yeah So you're you paid more tip you so you paid like what a 11 more dollars. Yeah, it was like 11 But it was like the bill was so 11 dollars so not only did you go behind my Has the two alpha males at the table, right? We were there with a bunch of sissy boys. Let's call what it was. We got a bunch of small mouths.
Starting point is 00:10:11 You joe lists. You're in five answers. Just a bunch of these Mary's sitting around at the table. That's a Mary's. I mean, we're in Sagalo. We're warming off our food. We had one guy Jordan Jensen there, but It's so You went behind my back and you gave him that you put that school. Okay, so I was like let's split it
Starting point is 00:10:33 And then you wound up me on the on the on the bill. So you you came out on top still yeah Yeah, I really like to throw it on those uber rides too Yeah, that bugs me too. I'm like do let me get the Uber. I got it already It's already coming already coming dude, and this is the greatest thing though Christine will call me I mean this made this really made me feel good by the way Christine every morning she'll go I got your coffee Yeah, and it was like downstairs Mm-hmm, and I was out for breakfast. I go I'm gonna go back Because I wanted to go get my coffee from Christine because it was already there.
Starting point is 00:11:06 It was very nice. It's in the coffee order. We travel well together. Before she gets out of bed. Right. Don't we travel? We like the same shit. I was just joking around. It's just gross. I know. It's okay. I did pay a little more. Well, you and actually I came on top because the Venmo went to me. So, oh, yeah, I'll see you just get Christine back. Just gave me some cash. That's right. because the Venmo went to me. So, I just, yes, also you just gave Christine back. Just gave me some cash. That's right. I did Venmo Christine, 200 large.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yes. I paid for everyone's food. You gave Christina gift to $200. I will put it back into Starbucks. Christine lauded money through me in her account, through you. You know what we found today? Because I want to get a new wallet and try to figure out what kind.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Oh, I know. And I'm going through different things. I mean, how many of these things in my wallet right now? Do I need? So I was going through the stuff behind my license. And one of them came up. I was like, oh, I have a Starbucks gift card here. Christine took it and entered it into the app.
Starting point is 00:12:00 She goes, this is a $100 gift card. And I go, oh, yeah. Did we ever tell that on stage? That when me and Bobby did the crowd work show together in Chicago. What? Early in the show, this lady in the front row. Yeah. She handed me a Starbucks card and said $100 on it.
Starting point is 00:12:18 You remember the story? Oh yeah. And then she gave me and Bobby. She goes, oh my God, Bobby Kelly's here. And she just hand him a card on stage. Yeah. And he goes, wow, these are great. He goes, how much are these four? And she goes, his is for $100, yours is for $25.
Starting point is 00:12:31 It hurt. It hurt. But he shouldn't hurt. And Christine made a good point. Some of those fun bucks will be used on Bobby Kelly coffee. Yeah. Sure. I'm sure they already were. I mean, we spent hundreds of, we really rock Starbucks. Some of those fun bucks will be used on Bobby Kelly coffee. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I'm sure they already were. I mean, we spent hundreds of, we really rock Starbucks. It killed. I really, I'm trying to get better at this as weird as it sounds, because I, people, help me out and look out for me for so long that Bobby, I feel bad when Bobby calls, and he's there here first, and he's like, Starbucks, what do you guys want? It always is on a day where I'm like how we already have some or we had some earlier. We're good. We're good. No, no, that's it. Right there. The second one. Not the
Starting point is 00:13:12 for it's not you. It's like, I'm good, dude. Down to you. I'm here today. I've seen you with the Starbucks every day and I wasn't able to beat you guys for weeks. And then I finally made it to Starbucks early. You're early. I'm here before them. Three times and you guys like, nah, nah, Christine you're going, I'm good. She only not said she's good. Then she said she was good. She wanted to give him that feeling and then hit him right
Starting point is 00:13:35 back yesterday and goes actually, yeah, something. That made me feel good when she wanted something though because I may, yeah, I'm a giver. You're a giver. What givers? This is what I love about traveling with you guys is that we don't... Remember to get it? Nobody cares about the... You know what I mean? Like there's no, hey, like sometimes you travel with people and they...
Starting point is 00:13:54 They just never give it up. I travel a famous people and like... I have to tip the limo driver and it's not even my limo. Oh, yeah. Because I feel bad. They just get out and it's like, dude, you gotta give tip the limo driver. And it's not even my limo. Oh, yeah. Cause I feel bad, they just get out. And it's like, dude, you gotta give the guy a couple bucks. And I'll give the guy a 20. He got up at five in the morning to pick us up, dude.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Yeah, I'm always, when I get picked up, when they send somebody to pick me up from the airport, I give them, well, shouldn't say that. Car service, I tip, always in cash. Always. Always give them cash, tip. If it's somebody from the club, shouldn't say that. Car service, I tip, always in cash. Always. Always give them cash, too. If it's somebody from the club, it's like weird. I almost like, I asked them to take me to a gas station.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I always ask them to want something from inside or something. You're giving them cash when they're like, I sort of work at the club, too, is weird, a little bit. I thought the same thing, given the cash, and when they go, oh my God, thank you so much. They love it. Yeah. Because now they can go buy a pack of butts, they can buy some heroin, maybe a blowjob. Yeah. Whatever you get in this bum fuck shit town.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah. Proteen shake with a blowjob. Oh, I had a funny this weekend in Appleton though. This guy, he works there. He's a security guard. He's also a comedian named Grizz. Home of Houdini. Home of Houdini. It's not true. It is though. Lou, you're approved wrong. We just lived there. He also lived in New York. You're making yourself sound like a real ass right now. Ta-da. You're an ass. And voila. You're an ass.
Starting point is 00:15:16 You're an ass. Abracadabra. Asshole. Ta-da. That's all. That uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Gris picked me up from the airport, worked there, uh, uh, uh, uh, Gris took me to morning press, took me to target afterwards to get, uh, forgot, forgot tank tops with me, and I need them tank tops. Why? So, uh, I feel weird under my clothes if I'm not rocking one. I'm still not wearing them too, I think.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Yeah, wife-beater. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. Wow. So I, I mean, is there any other kind of wife-beater? Come on, Jacob.
Starting point is 00:15:54 That was a wink joke. Come on. Can you smile bigger, black loose over your shoulder? Shaking his head now. Thanks for evil, Jacob, for laughing at that. And then the last day, my flight was early, so I was getting picked up at like 5.30 in the morning. So I go, he says to me, he goes, so I'll get you tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:16:17 He goes, it's only like 10 minutes to the airport, so I can pick you up at 5.15, 5.30 would. And I go, I do, I go, you know what? Honestly, if it's not that hard to set up like an Uber, like, I just do an Uber to the other guy, I don't want to make it. He's like working that night. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:16:32 It's a comedy club. He's going to be here late. And I was like, yeah, dude, you don't have to like take me to the airport, dude. I'll get like a 10 minute to Uber. I'll just get an Uber. Don't worry about it. He goes, oh man, really?
Starting point is 00:16:43 By the way, also when they say awesome right away, it makes me judge them, even though I'm giving them the opportunity to do that, they're like, oh, that's awesome. I don't have to do it great. And I was like, well, you could have fought back a little. All right. And you didn't even give like a, no, it's my job. No, no, no, it's what they pay me to do. So I was like, yeah, dude, don't worry about it at all. And then 15 minutes later, he comes into the green room and he goes, do the, let me check out early right now. So it was great meeting and everything and I'll see you next time around.
Starting point is 00:17:13 And I go, oh yeah, he goes, yeah, he goes, dude, let me knock off early. They think I'm taking me to the airport in the morning. And I'm like, well, then you should take me to the airport in the morning. They paid him. I didn't say that, he just left. He just got to go home early.
Starting point is 00:17:24 They give $50 to him. They give him $50 to him. And gas money he's got to go home early they give 50 dollars Gas money. Hey, here's a little gas mine too. He goes man. Thank you so much. You're very generous I I get scared with you, but you're I get scared. I don't trust humanity To push a button at five in the morning and trust that some kid is gonna show up and pick me up It's scared the morning setting up one for the morning is a scary one. It's frightening.
Starting point is 00:17:49 And who's driving the Uber? In bum fuck, in bum fuck nowhere. Yeah, who's driving the Uber at 445? 445. Who's that guy? Yeah. Like, what would you, or go to the UK? Or go to the UK.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Talkative. They are talk, and they want to talk about their weird late night life things. It It really it's like taxi driver guys. Just guys are just weirdly drive around with their eyes open all night It's better than the afternoon grandfather that retired too early. Oh, yeah. Hey, how you doing? You're in town for a while What do you hear for comedy? That's good. Yeah, I used to do a dab a little back on the day Oh, a two-in-ten driver the whole way Yeah, they're looking the whole time. It's terrifying. Yeah
Starting point is 00:18:30 or or Or black me up, Lou the middle-aged black woman that gets lost every five minutes I had a middle-aged black woman drive on to an off ramp of a highway once and she goes oh my Lord I'm on the wrong side. These maps crazy. That was in Rhode Island. She drove on. Was that with me on that? I think so.
Starting point is 00:18:55 I think so. I feel like that was the hotel where it was like the club was right next to the hotel. It was it was getting back on. It would be took in Uber. I think you could drink still at this time. So I think we were drinking at the club And Ubered back to the hotel and they she just like got on The great when you come out of the club she started getting on the off ramp and one started coming right as she was oh my She I can you believe how much
Starting point is 00:19:23 Kudas on a fire explosion That could have been so that would not but the Lord save us. There was a truck coming right at us There was a Walmart truck. We could have made a lot of money We was almost a Buick full of three angels Angels Three I couldn't believe Yeah, I knew when you boys got my car some different Yeah, I wanted to point out that something I do think You two are like two peas in the pot as far as your travel
Starting point is 00:20:08 likes and dislikes And we don't have it. Yeah, but the one thing I have to To disagree with the both of you you both seem to like that. I would be uncomfortable with You posted the video of going into the lounge You posted the video of going into the lounge. The applause. The applause is ridiculous. I'll tell you why. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:20:31 I think you know the answer. This is the same as people who get off at miserable waiters and waitresses singing happy birthday to them. They don't care about you. They don't, they don't want to be doing it. You're wrong. You're a birthday means nothing doing it. You're wrong. Your birth they means nothing to them. You're wrong. Number one, you're wrong. Maybe, maybe at Applebees, but at Delta, at Lounge Life, using the... Jacob, I'm going to say something.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I'm going to say something. It's their honor to serve. What do you not get? We're talking Lounge Life and then Applebees. That's different worlds. You understand that is different world lounge life is a different It's like they're a plot the reason why they're applauding is because they get to be part of lounge life Yeah, I saw their faces. Yeah, it's I'm being made to it's the I'm being made to do this No, that's concern that their peel off is gonna settle wrong because there's also trying to cook perfectly back there. That's right, dude. I mean, lounge life is a different thing. There are pl-as you're coming up the stairs, they're letting you know what you do to the applause. They don't even- you know this? I don't know if this is a fact.
Starting point is 00:21:37 They're not even told to applause. It just comes out. They keep line. They just line up. They just happen. They just line up. They just up. They said line up. And as people come up, just say, hello, all of a sudden, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, they make you feel good too, because they don't just keep it going steady. The claps like dwindle down. And then, and then another bulk of people come. Yeah. And they're like, damn it. The second wave just as,
Starting point is 00:22:04 just as good as the first thing too is they give more plot. I don't know if you know this. And they're like, damn it, the second wave, just as good as the first. And here's the thing too, is they give more plot, I don't know if you noticed this, when you came out, the applause got a little, because they sense who people are too. Like, you know what, this guy's just some traveling to the brush salesman. Oh, who's this?
Starting point is 00:22:19 That's Big J. Oh, Kersen. Yeah, and I lean on the thing a little bit and just let it carry me up. The escalator, railing. What I can't see is your face. What do you do to acknowledge them? Because I would put my head down and shame
Starting point is 00:22:35 because they were clapping. It's my first time experiencing it and I was trying not to be weird while filming them. Okay. I was actually, I was all my phone, so I was making this face, I'm a, but I'm actually just so. I didn't even acknowledge them. I couldn't I couldn't get a full of debris I'll tell you when the guy goes can I interest you in some orange juice or some champagne?
Starting point is 00:22:52 I went I went can I get a mimosa and he went yeah and then made it it was they treat you right I actually have a lounge hat that I wear and I tip it As when I get to the top I just tip the hat and I get my little smile your lounge hat in a lounge hat that I wear and I tip it. When I get to the top, I just tip the hat and I get my little smile. Your lounge hat. In my lounge hat. I tip it and I go, good morning to you all. And I go to my seat. Something is the airport though that I've got to start knowing myself, some of the things I forget.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I've now purchased seven or eight neck pillows in my life. And as soon as I put it on, I get on the airplane, I go, I hate these things. They don't work. I don't, I don't like them. They don't, they don't work. I've been through a lot of them. The one that I thought was going to be the best was the turtle. Okay. It's a, it's a, it's a school. Excuse me. I think I, I think I almost died. But it's called the turtle neck pillow. It's a skull, excuse me, I think I almost died. It's called the turtle neck pillow. It's made in England and it wraps around your neck like a scarf, but it has a mechanism inside
Starting point is 00:23:54 that holds your head up. So your head can't crank. So it goes around and you can actually cover your mouth with it too, which is a really good pillow. It's, it flattens out and it comes in a bag. And then the other one I just got, because you know I'm a crazy person with stuff, right? I've got a pillow, it's a little pillow,
Starting point is 00:24:16 hooks onto your bag and you stick your arm in it, like a vagina. Okay. So it's like, is that what you do for a vagina? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm gonna be, yep. The, I was like, yep. I think it's like is that a beautiful journalist? Fuck yeah The as a guillot I
Starting point is 00:24:27 I was like you And then I I stick it in and And you put your hand in and then you can rest your head on my head I don't mind that so you rest your head on your hand or you can put your hand in it and put you on the table That's the one I got that it and I've been through them all. I've got them all. I've got the one you blow up. I've got this one. I thought was going to be good because it had cooling neck gel. But still the overall, and this is probably a thing you'd like more Jacob, even with the cooling neck gel. It doesn't keep your head up. Well, no, it doesn't keep your head up, but also, I also found out on some Instagram or some sort of
Starting point is 00:25:08 TikTok video that everyone uses neck pillows wrong. What? The part that you think go that you put behind your head is what goes in front. What? Yeah, I saw that. What are you talking about? How can that be?
Starting point is 00:25:23 How to use a neck pillow. I'm just telling you what it says. Who's everyone's been doing it wrong? Everyone, this is one of those, yeah. Who's there? As you've always been doing it wrong. Who's there? Asians on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:25:32 I don't know. TikTok Asians. TikTok Asians? The only people I listen to anymore. Right. They also tell me that I can somehow make popcorn with grapes and some kind of giant walk. Hey, they're really happy.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Hey. I don't know what that is. A hundred percent time that I go on, I don't know if it's Facebook or whatever, there's a video option that shows two seconds of somebody throwing some crazy food into a boiling water and a giant or boiling less, looks like oil in a giant crock pot. And then it's always popcorn ultimately.
Starting point is 00:26:04 But they're like, how about we throw grapes in and then popcorn kernels and then it's a great popcorn. Did you see the one, my favorite one was with a black lady was watching the Chinese lady take a cow hide and then make it into something. She, you know, the whole time she's like, what the fuck? Oh, this motherfucker. Why would she do that? She I mean all the way up into like cubes of gelatin She's like that shit looks like it's from the ocean. This bitch is crazy Then she threw it in the fryer and it came out like crackling. She goes, oh, I'd like to try some of that that look good Yeah, that you are so aware neck pillows backwards or at least that's what I learned from a comments of that video She's stupid. And I am not special in thinking I was entirely original and bring a neck pillow for my one and a half hour commute
Starting point is 00:26:52 But anyway, I had to try it out. So I switched between class in the front and class. There's nothing worse than a zany bitch God, I was skeptical at first, but I'm surprised to say that I actually really enjoyed wearing this shirt. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. That is fucking stupid people. Oh, Asian people for the most part of the teams. It's dumb. You're not supposed to wear a neck pillow.
Starting point is 00:27:14 No. It doesn't make sense to me. But that's what they've said. It's all been wrong. Can you tell support in the back of your neck? Can you check in the turtle pillow, please? Turtle neck pillow? Watch this one. This one's pretty
Starting point is 00:27:25 loud. Christine only looks up things on TikTok now. I'm seeing it. That's stupid. Yeah, that is stupid right? Yeah, there you go. I'm not crazy right? Christine's super stupid. No, she's not stupid. Is this it? There. Yeah, that's it right there. That's called the turtle neck pillow. It's just a scoff. You put it on your neck like that, wrap it around, and it just holds your head up. I kind of don't mind that. So now you can just lean, look at it, and it holds your head up. Her head is still going flopping. Yeah. And then you're holding. And it says no, yeah, but no support at all. You don't know this. That's Wolverine's wife. Her head is made of Adamantium Adam Antium. She's her head is very heavy
Starting point is 00:28:05 Yeah, I mean she's proving that it's not holding anything up. Well, I mean come on Jacob your party poop or I mean That look at that. I mean you do look ridiculous with it. You do um, you know what? I've gone full circle on this. I thought okay. I thought it was a good idea And now I think I don't like it at all. I'm gonna buy you one. Okay. And then you're gonna try it. Look at that. Listen, I've been wrong. You've got me the multi-prong cable before and it's been in life changer.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I know. I know. We're watching another video and the woman's neck is completely flopping over. The video, wait a second, now, is Jacob. Can I go in and shake up? Her head is not flopping over. If you...
Starting point is 00:28:42 This is... Not one of these videos, Bobby, to Jacob's defense. Not one of these videos Bobby to to Jacob's defense not one of these videos is showing one person finding comfort with this thing yet. It's people strangling each other yanking each other across rooms laughing at how ridiculous the product is. No, she just gave it a thumbs up. And they're laughing and she's like, yeah, this is dumb. Can I tell you where a scarf is? That's what they're wearing. They're wearing a scarf. I'm telling you, there's a mechanism inside.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Put a hanger in a scarf. It's slightly more dense scar. Put a bowler's wrist guard in there and just prop your head up with it. How about the one on the corner on the bottom row to the left the photos the one that goes around your head get that one It's a blow-up pillow that you stick on Please put that out Make sure that time to go out and we do that fucking insane He's supposed to put your arms in the things up top. Okay
Starting point is 00:29:42 What you're supposed to sleep like this, like a lunatic? They're the lurch. Look like the elephant man. That's crazy. I am not, I am not. Can you make it walk on a plane and talk in some way and look into your ring of gold? They turn into a minion.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah, what the, it looks like an evil, like an evil, like a teddy bear came to life. Yeah, it's called the ultimate travel pillow and it's like an aliens head. It's fucking nuts I want that one we should get those and if I just saw that just someone's head in it It's crazy. Look at your head stuck up someone's ass It does it looks like a stuffed animal came to life Does it have a cooling system? I think it's so we come out of it. You're just like soaking wet from your own sweat.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah. Yeah. Your head's like a little hot nose, rhinos. It's like beetle, just sprinkle a little powder on your head. It's smaller. You know what it looks like? You ever see DancingBair.com? The black guys who wear bare heads and slap girls' cocks,
Starting point is 00:30:43 slap girls' faces with their cocks What do you think it of? I think I have a trans dancing bear. I can't wait for trans day dancing bear You know when they wear the bear head and they come on the leaves. Oh Please I get you a dancing bear is it you don't have to go to dancing bear calm go to a regular porn site Wait a minute. You're doing great. That's guys just getting blow jobs J or a regular porn site. Wait a minute. You're doing great. That's guys just getting blow jobs, Jay.
Starting point is 00:31:06 It's, yes. I love that we went from travel pillows to guys that look like they have travel pillows on their heads getting their dick sucked. I'm saying the gift-odd, batshit fucking helmet mask looks like dancing bear. When dancing bear wears a bare head. And yeah, so let's be looked like a dancing bear.
Starting point is 00:31:24 In the world. How do you find this? How much? Dancing bear? How much time do you have in the day? I mean, Black Lou support me on this. Jacob, I know you're not a major porn guy. I don't think DJ Lou backed me up.
Starting point is 00:31:40 You're familiar with Dancing Bear. It was an ad on everything at one point. Also, it's kind of awesome. They try, this is the ones where they try to make it like just some girls should up to a party and they're chugging everyone's dick Hello, I just black love dancing back. Are you are you are you familiar with this? He's saying that you are familiar with this are you? I'm not familiar well Dancing bear Yeah, let's check some eager Black guys dancing bear. Yeah, let's check some eager. They're super into it dancing bear everybody and that's with
Starting point is 00:32:14 Gif Todd pillow reminds me of dancing bear. Christine, please have a little class and turn it off. I mean I mean, I mean you're supposed to show for an example. You don't get a fucking make a meal out of it. Jay, when you fly you need you need to get something ASAP because you're going to hurt your neck. I've watched you on three flights now and your head is fucking hilarious. It knocks around and then it falls totally and then you wake up and you look at Christine and then you go back to sleep. I judge what she's doing. Whether it be sleeping, the way she's sleeping, if she's not sleeping. We got to get Christine hostage tape for her flight.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Because she, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Christie, Christine, at least self-aware, doesn't care what I see, by the way. But she said next to Al Jermaine sterling on a flight back from Vegas once, and because he was so attractive, she stayed awake the whole flight, where she would normally have slept the whole time, because she didn't want him to see her.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Flag catching? Yeah. Yeah, no, I was like, no way. No way Al Jermaine sterling. You were just putting grapes in your mouth while you're feeding you small pieces of food. Well, you know, no, if what if you fell asleep and he put on a barehead and started scull f**king you and all your friends?
Starting point is 00:33:35 I woke up next to, I used to do this when I was at my fattest. I woke up next to, I've sat next to two hot girls in my life on the plane. Most of the time, you know, it's cathaly or you know somebody else famous, but Tex Cobb, whatever. Tex Cobb, it's not Tex Cobb. It's what's his name? Fucking girl. No, not that. No, not that. Tim McGraw. That's a mixture of Ty Cobb and Todd McGraw. Mickey Mantle. Mickey Mantle.
Starting point is 00:34:08 I was sitting next to this hot chicken. I was so trying to get my shit together. And she was nice. And then I forgot that I went to go to sleep. I do this. Oh, no, you don't. I swear. You can do a cartoon thing.
Starting point is 00:34:23 And this is the problem, Don is why Don I think secretly hates me She never secretly hate us never told me that I fucking did that really I woke up going And I looked over to my right and she was looking at me like I just took shit out and wiped it under her nose If you only do it once you can get away with that because that could be other things. You can go, pfft, she will go over and you'll be, how long is this flight? I mean,
Starting point is 00:34:51 geez, we're here all day, huh? That's my thing. I'll let her know, because I just wanna establish that's my thing I do. I can't believe it. Yeah, long as flat, long fly, right? Just work out, just work out. Ask a question. Did they go by with the water yet? I'm going to have to wait for water here. I mean, could that pillow off? I don't like it. It's unsettling looking.
Starting point is 00:35:22 I Hot chicks that next to me I I've only had like one that I can remember where a hot chick said chick said next to me Christine's been next to me on a thousand flights, but there's only one I Now there was you remember that with my flight to Australia. I told you there was a girl who's a whole aisle, who was just me and her. And at one point she was like, do you mind if I lay across? Your lap? No, just like the seats, like it was like five seats or whatever, you know?
Starting point is 00:35:57 Yeah. Remember those points? They don't have anymore. Yeah, they're only cross country or even nationals, I think. Anytime you went to LA you got the Three in the the middle big one and the two on each side. Yeah, well we were on the side This was a side was quantus and they had like four or five seats and it was just me and her and she was you might I lay down for a little bit. I was like sure and then she just like in her sleep or at least eyes closed kept like digging Like her toes like under my like, ass and legs.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And I just didn't, I, That's something. You know that's something. I made nothing of it, but I, but I sat there and fantasized about all the things it was that it probably wasn't. She was shrimping your asshole on a cross ocean flight. And you thought it was nothing?
Starting point is 00:36:42 I thought it was nothing. A hundred percent something. A hundred percent. She didn't see, we didn't talk a bunch of things like that. She just... No, she didn't want to talk. She wanted to fuck, man. And you... Maybe I blew it. You blew it. She's... She's put it... Like... What? Yeah, what's your response? Should you... I want you to stop. This is part of of your school. I want you to go at your first anything. You should a what Don't look at me. Look at you. I want you to I realized I had a it was just a funny idea. I wouldn't do it Yeah, I want you to go at your first. These things just go it was hilarious funny I mean I'm into it. I mean you shouldn't do this because you would be in trouble
Starting point is 00:37:23 But I'm saying you should have worked you should have just you know grind it back into her foot. Yes, you might get a Fucking my ass crack. Yeah, exactly She wakes up and her foot is completely in your ass hall. Yeah, and I go is this not what you want I was picking up on the signs I got the signs Where's my foot? I've accepted most of it into me Oh I think you raw dog my answer your foot. It's up to her knee You're swallowing like a boa constrictor
Starting point is 00:38:04 Born anaconda. Just taking your insoli, gulp, gulp my gulp. Although I've said before, that is how my, that's how my ass takes in suppositories and I've always found that weird. What, how many times do you, how do you know that your ass does a certain thing with, I've always found that weird. What how many times do you how do you know that you're asked? Does a certain thing with I've only taken one suppository in my whole life? How many life yeah? probably like 10 not even anything why are you looking at Christine because we both have them? What the fuck pre-aged dude suppositories if you get a little if you feel a roid coming on you stick a Suppository and you know they make pads they do you make a pad Yeah, that's for the outside. This is when it's an inside hemorrhoid. Do you have hemorrhoids? Do you know?
Starting point is 00:38:50 I've had hemorrhoid surgery. Yeah, you had hemorrhoid surgery. Oh, you did how big was it? It was a mother was it a small banana? Well, there were multiple so we had to do surgery. One was on emergency room Had to just go because it was external Hey, I got to get a test and then I had to he said Yeah, you have a bunch of hemorrhage. We got to take care Sorry, I didn't do that. I'm so okay So wait a minute no, I understand hemorrhage. I think I've had hemorrhoids, but you had to have surgery on them.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Yeah, excruciating. She was getting out of hand. What did they do? How did they just cut them out? Like, I, I mean, I guess, I don't know how, I never ask, because I don't want to know, because they have to go into your asshole and get rid of them. I mean, hemorrhoids are like veins, aren't they? They're like popped up veins.
Starting point is 00:39:42 I don't know a lot about AIDS. Yeah. Johnny gives them a lot of that. Yeah. Haha. Haha. Johnny gives me a lot of about AIDS, but I bet he knows about hemorrhoids. I think he just cut them open. And why? Because that's what they did with the external one.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Like a cow hoof and let stuff come out. Literally took a scalpel. I was awake for the one and let it bled out and it was a clot. So he held, he, he's like, here's your hemorrhoid. Oh, what the fuck? He has no bedside man in front of a very attractive nurse. Blood out and it was a clot. So he held he he's like here's your hemorrhoid What the fuck is no bedside man in front of a very attractive nurse? Oh, no, no, no Yeah, he told us that story at the last life. Yeah, that was wild But then I had to later on get surgery and it was
Starting point is 00:40:26 excruciating pain the recovery because you're at you have a slice in your asshole you had multiple in my case But that's the problem it was fine up until then because then you're basically when you poop I guess you're expanding all the wounds Come tell you a plate of fun factory just spaghetti noodles a shit coming out of his ass Stitches patches on it. He was the most pain I ever felt Yeah, I'm sorry we're laughing so hard. I'm sorry Bobby can't turn it off the sky. But it's cool now No, it's cool that you're laughing in my pain. What what is a hemorrhide? It's been flamed like yeah right there. Let's say it is a swollen and inflamed veins Yeah, I'm wrecked them an a us. Yeah, So they cut the vein open and let stuff come out of it.
Starting point is 00:41:07 And yeah. Yeah. And they probably seal back up. But here's the, it's very common. Three million US cases per year. I think it's gonna low, I would say. I haven't used the supp, I'm sorry, I haven't used the suppository,
Starting point is 00:41:19 but I take the wipes and I wrap them around a frozen hot dog and jam that in my ass. Okay. And leave that in for like a day and then come back. Cold is good. Yeah, cold is good. Take it out and then I slice up the hotdog and put it in a scrambled eggs.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah, but it was in a paper towel. You want cold little shrinks. Cold shrinks the, I don't know. Yeah, cold shrinks. Oh yeah. Didn't know that. You didn't know on heat, heat expands. Yeah, cold shrinks. Oh yeah. Didn't know that. You didn't know on heat, heat expands. Yeah, you definitely don't want heat, but I have the,
Starting point is 00:41:50 when I put the suppository in, the few times that I felt that something was in there, a little nug when I was, you know, fishing around in the shower. You know, I do. All right, I don't know if this is a theme song for, but I'll accept it. I think it is. When I put a suppository in, I want to get right. I don't know if this is the theme song for it, but I'll accept it. I think it is. When I put a suppository in, I want to get you a disco ball fio shower. I was surprised, upset, and kind of like thought it was neat to witness that I only got to put
Starting point is 00:42:18 the suppository in, like maybe a half to three quarters of the way and then my asshole and look at my face Bobby put your glasses back on. Thanks for suctioning. It does this. Like that girl's foot. It like my asshole feels like it grabs it when it gets to a point and it goes I got it from here and then like like slurps it in.
Starting point is 00:42:43 You know remember like when Boba Fett was taken by the desert monster? Yeah, that's kind of it. That's your asshole. It accepts it very easily. Yeah, it accepts it and is happy. It's like feed me a sea moor. Yeah, it really is. It's like a little like a little weird man.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Seemaw, come on, man, I need some food. Jay feed me Get get her foot in the ass hole Jay just put it in Jay my asshole is missing the sweet sweet release of things going in It's a 14 hour flight. She wants to be swallowed by me. Jay. Maybe she wanted Maybe she did one of that girl. She did she wanted. She wanted a little what do they call that? Shramping? Little shramping? Is that what's going on? I've, a plane does not seem like the place where I would ever have like a hook up.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I got a blowjob on a train from Boston to New York. Oh yeah. In the seat. Okay. A girl I met on the train. That's big. Met her on the train. Train travel though.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Met her on the train. We ready for the day? Were you are. We're ready for the day. Were you showered and looking good for the day or? 100%. Coming back from my grandma's, because that's where I stayed when I used to go to Boston. Got on the train south station, met her in the food cart.
Starting point is 00:43:57 We sat next to each other on the, just the, you know, not first class, just the, you know, the rando train part, you know, that general admission. We sat next to each other and we, then she moved over inside a talkin' to me. not first class, just the, you know, the Rando train part, you know, the general admission. We sat next to each other and we, then she moved over and started talking to me. And then we were talking, talking, talking. And then I put my coat on my lap because I was like a little cold and she was like, I'm
Starting point is 00:44:14 cold to us. So we put my jacket over us. And then we started making out on the train. But like, like blue lagoon kissing, you know, like real passionate. I'm there right now, my head. I hear the train going. Passionate kissing, sweet music. And then she reached down in between my legs, easy back. Can you actually put on the dropkick Murphy song?
Starting point is 00:44:40 This is a Boston romance. And the train was going to Boston, you see? No, we were leaving Boston They were leaving Boston, but still I feel like it would be the same song That's when she started she went under the blanket and I I Didn't want it. I didn't want it because I was so nervous. I didn't want it. HJ or beach beach Beach not to completion. I got too nervous. People knew. I didn't want, you know what I would say in public?
Starting point is 00:45:07 I feel bad for people who don't like sex like that. I don't want them to have to see something that's gonna fuck their life up for. Just a sexy bobby with hair, getting a blowjob. I'm not fucking their life up as much, but it sounds, to me, like, getting caught in it, I know it's like the thing, but depending catches you. Yeah, it's pretty disrespectful thing It's a disrespect if you boy happen upon yeah, but the conductors are all Boston guys
Starting point is 00:45:34 You know, I'd be like Bob he's getting a blowjob in CD 11 By that fucking hoosuck stick on the train every week. Oh, it's blowjob motha I wait until it wait until he gets to New York and she hits him up for fucking 50 bucks. It's BJ Colleen. Yeah, he's gonna have to get her an egg sandwich and a Dunkin' Donuts coffee from the food cot. She works in construction.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Yeah. You get blown by a girl wearing her car heart jacket. That turns me on. Worked out. A rough and tumble girl. She's hanging out with good will hunting. Yeah, that was crazy. Those days, you know what's weird, Jay? Have you ever thought about this?
Starting point is 00:46:14 Those days are gone. What? Like I'm never ever going to get a rando again. Never? No. I mean, things happen? No. No. The circumstances for a rando, I mean, no.
Starting point is 00:46:36 If I was on a train and a girl started talking to me, I know one of two things is gonna happen. My wife or son is gonna face time in. When are you gonna be here? What do you want for dinner? I'm going to the Cheetos right now. I'm gonna get you the low-cap wraps. And then I was thinking of making a roast beef,
Starting point is 00:46:55 but we could do meatloaf if you want. What if it's a face time, though? And she's like, Bobby, the plane's been taking hostage. We're driving into a building. I love you. Take care of Max. Love you too. Then you get a random, okay?
Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah. You got to think I said the box. Is that probably going to happen? You know what? No, I don't think Dawn's going to be in a terrorist plot plane. This why I love you, Jay, because you are always on the positive side of life.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Yes. You are. You spin it up. You don't spin it down. Listen, things probably are going to go great for dawn more than likely you're but she does fly She does fly and she's flown without you before and the saw mills are too late highway that can be dangerous The saw mill is a dangerous highway. It's very dark at night and that black ice will take you out I mean but Lou But more than likely.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Black, blue and blue. I mean, you have a serious, you're locked down. Yeah, but Michelle's gonna dump DJ, Louis and he give him a moment it seems like. No. Hair line trigger at this point. No, don't say his hair is fine. I love his hair.
Starting point is 00:47:59 I'm bald too. Which one? No, hair line trigger. Oh, sorry. I thought you said that. That doesn't trigger the, what is going on. Oh, sorry, I thought you said that. You're lying trigger. I thought it was a trigger there. Listen, I love them as a couple.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I love them. I hope they stay together forever. Yeah. But I'd say 50, 50 shot, we watch them break up at Skankfest. We all try to have that dinner we keep talking about. Apparently, dinner doesn't go good out in Vegas with the whiskey. With skis. You know, whiskey is told each other to fuck off. I mean, Jacob, They were like, hey, we're gonna go smoke a cigarette and then like we left actually
Starting point is 00:48:30 We left don't ask I like don't ask you was why have to ask you That's a big a father since I left you and your mother don't even ask don't get me started on it just accept that I'm going I did you a favor I don't want to talk about it your life's better because I believe me it's a better off life I I it's weird for me because when we would talk about this situation with Lou I always thought it was her I was pitch it was so when I met her I'm like she is so lovely it's a different world when we're both drinking. Yeah, I want to see it. We don't.
Starting point is 00:49:06 It's complete transfer. Why don't we do in the prom? I want to see this. No, we got to do the prom. I want to see them fight. I want to see them fight like Sandra D and... You want to see them fight? Here's a move.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Make Lou the prom king and make any other girl the prom queen. And just tell that we're going to lose a fan that day because Michelle's gonna scratch your fucking face off probably But no, what if we make it another Puerto Rican and then we have a fight? Okay, now we're talking now we're waving money now titties are popping out who this Lou who this fucker My name is Michelle and I'm the best dancer is St. Barnard dance And where's reputation? I promise you if you he's dancing completely staged with somebody on the stage you'll look over and see daggers from Michelle. She has a Tommy gun.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Good thing I brought my Tommy's gun. She goes, is it? And a pit bull comes out of nowhere. Rusty go get up! Yeah, so I guess she's right. Your days of Rando blow jobs are over, Lou. You're done. Remember when you just rain random blow jobs on you?
Starting point is 00:50:14 Ha ha ha. Those days are done, buddy. I hope you got enough when it was good when it was happening. While the getting was good. I mean, I was in this sauna today, because I have a sauna. Of course you do. Because I sauna. Does it go up to only your I have a sauna. Of course you do. Because I sauna. Does it go up to only your neck?
Starting point is 00:50:27 Sure. No, it does. I have a real sauna. You know what my real, I have a real one. I don't have a bag. So you just sit like a hot bag. Good. What do you think I got a, like a closed steamer
Starting point is 00:50:39 and stuck it in a trash bag? I was a little bit of a fashion. One that was like on the Titanic. He just wraps around you and you just stand there and- I DIY I'd a steamer. So, air frying yourself. Yeah. No, I got it.
Starting point is 00:50:52 That, I have that. Oh, okay. I have that. That's not what I was thinking. No, I have that in my room. I was thinking it was like you sit inside of a thing, they make this, don't they? Kits your head pops out.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Yeah, your head pops out, but you just saw in your body while you're sitting like a little machine. No, yeah, they have, those aren't good good those are good because the the sweat and everything builds up and it gets moldy That is the shit right there Jay and they say people who saw that doesn't build up in there sweat No, I have I I go in with a towel and I put a towel down and it goes on that so you ever whack in there? No, I can't whack in my house Jay at all I have a nine-year-old By the way difference of 159 bucks versus two thousand dollars is so funny
Starting point is 00:51:39 By the way the hands popping out and reading while her pussy is just dank with sweat right now. That thing is stewing. It smells like boiled carrots, I bet. Yeah, that's a crock pot for pussy. Oh. Yeah, no, that one is fucking ridiculous. That's just a close steamer in a crab bag. That's all it is.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah, that's not. There's no one's one so bad. No, I have an infrared. Infrared is the way to go. That's what you want. You want infrared one's one so bad. No, I have an infrared. Infrared is the way to go. That's what you want. You want infrared. See those little panels on the wall? That's what you want.
Starting point is 00:52:11 And that's how much is that? 2,000. Yeah, you can get one for four, like 1,500 bucks. Is it, uh, can it also be a tanning bed? I look at tan up also. Is it better to sauna or tan? I don't understand. Or sauna or steam.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Sonna, 100%. Why? Because, uh, yeah. That way, go back. That's what Bert kind of has. also is it better to sauna or tan I don't know or sauna or or steam sauna 100% why because uh that we go back that's what bird has no the tunnel the circle circle yeah that that's a holy shit sauna that's what bird has in his backyard yeah he's got that's a really expensive one and that's holy that's really good um sauna's better because it makes your heat proteins activate. And when that does, it goes out and it heals your body. And it's good for dementia and heart problems and inflammation. And it just helps you better. They did a study.
Starting point is 00:52:58 And if you look it up on YouTube, a 20 year study in Finland where they saw a four to seven times a week and it reduced the measure by like sixty five percent you think so doctor i swear to god the fact if you look at up jacket if you don't believe me with that face of yours but uh... yeah no hundred percent it's really good for you and wise louis so big on steam steam because louis is a lot of sweat yeah no st
Starting point is 00:53:24 that is infrared Sauna is better for you. I mean, steam's good too. Don't get me wrong. I have an a fits. It's great But Sauna is better for you and it's it's looking right there reduces the risk of dementia new studies Yeah, I don't trust new studies though some new studies were saying the smoking cigarettes was why I didn't get COVID You don't want to give me facts like that. Yeah, but that's a new new study. That's like, this is a 20 year study. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:50 20 years in Finland, Jay. You can trust the Fins. Okay, I do trust the Fins. You should get one. Putting you in a little room. A house on a? Get a house on a. Well, when I look at houses to buy,
Starting point is 00:54:02 something has on it's in the party. That's true. I had a son in my building you might have one in your build Maybe not we don't yeah, I have one in my building, but the gay guys get blowing each other in it so they shut it down That'll happen. Yeah, we have a we have a private theater room in our building that I have to assume If you pop in there different times a night someone's getting sucked off what time there I'd say if you pop in there in the middle of the night you probably get a nice little show at some point Yeah, I used to I've stopped going on our roof Not enough action across the street for a big old apartment building
Starting point is 00:54:41 Not enough action going on across the streets looking windows on my roof. It's my favorite thing to do. To look in other people's windows. I mean, I didn't know you were going that way. Oh, whole building. I thought you're going up there to have a good time. Maybe barbecue. Now, you're going up to be a peeping time. Yes. Got it. Smoke cigarettes and see if you catch somebody fucking or taking off their clothes. We used to do this on Wayne Raiders roof all the time Saw women very few times watched more than one guy whack off to completion. Really. Yeah, we did see there wasn't naked family There was a family who saw kids naked It was weird. Well, well if you saw kids naked when you stop watching now It wasn't kids weren't naked actually. They were weird. All the kids were in their underwear.
Starting point is 00:55:25 The parents were walking around but naked. In front of children? It was like the family was just like nudists. Or so it was weird. It's very weird. It's my question, Jay. Yeah. What is it?
Starting point is 00:55:35 With a parent's naked? Full naked. In front of the children. Yeah. And how long did you watch for? Until they read the kid a bedtime story and then they all. This is my secret. Hang on, I'm ordering you binoculars for your birthday right there.
Starting point is 00:55:53 I really wish I had binoculars. That would change everything. But I also don't want to be seen looking through binoculars off my roof. What are you looking at? Now, it's what you can see it's almost the thing too. You're seeing from a distance So you're not getting a close shot. Yeah, you know, I mean you could tell sort of like fat thin But besides that nothing a lot of Asians seems like it's almost gonna happen Sometimes also there's the excitement when you catch like You saw a girl come out in a towel and like she just gets too far to the picture
Starting point is 00:56:25 But you see the towel hit the floor like damn like right at a shot me and Christine one time watched a lady Full bush and tits hanging out folder entire laundry at her old place Fold her entire load of laundry and then like the show was ending just lowered her curtains like it just slowly erased her If it's at the end on the other side of this. It really should have been. Fin. Our roof was a gold mine, but we weren't really allowed up there. We weren't allowed up there, but you have some good work. Have you guys ever done any?
Starting point is 00:56:52 Have you maybe returned the favor? No. No? I mean, Christine walks around naked in front of the windows a lot, she did that a lot. But now, besides that, now we didn't return the favor much at all. I tried Christine when we first met told me a bunch of stories of public fucking and she fucked here and jacked this guy off here and there. And then I was and the hottest thing ever
Starting point is 00:57:16 was when some guy pulled her into an alley that she was like, hook it up with and fucked her like in the alley while the friends kept walking off. And then we were on a rooftop one time and I go, let's do it right here And she went no people will see this sucks So you made it a good girl no, we were already trying to knock it caught it was enough Would you ever take a train from Boston back in the late 90s? Hey everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousexam.com slashbombfire for
Starting point is 00:57:56 a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo

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