The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - We're Live (feat. Liz Miele)
Episode Date: September 21, 2022Liz Miele joins The Bonfire and the gang talks about songs that make them want to use. Jay discovers that Tom Petty's classic "Mary Jane's Last Dance" is about weed. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay O...akerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@LizMiele www.LizMiele.com
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and dance odor.
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine.
I like this.
Can't wait to tell our guest that Christine used to pop the song, I think she was cool.
And while doing cocaine.
While doing cocaine.
I was 16.
What a dildo.
Swing in a baggie.
I got it.
Party game.
Party game.
Everybody's the bomb fire.
In fact, you talk Siri 6103, big jokers and Dan Sodor, our guest, everybody. Yeah Everybody's the bomb fire
Effective talk series XM103 big Joker's and Dan Sodor our guest everybody has a new special the ghost of academic future
It's streaming right now on YouTube. It's Liz Mealy everybody
First time on the show right no, I did it during I did zoomed it
I zoomed it with you guys and then I think I was here before the zoom so now I just feel sad that you don't remember
Long time friend of the show is me
Post guys oh we're live on live you know what I also do is I love when you when I know you're taking the intro of a guest because I
Feared of doing that every time like they're gonna here before here before. I mean, I did it to Sebastian.
I walked out and I was like, hey, nice to meet you.
He was like, I was on your show.
I did the show before.
I was in the studio doing your show.
You'll go, boom.
I did it outside.
And then I remembered.
I said, nice meeting you.
And then I realized she was on the show.
Polonians.
Damn, dude. Guys, guys, we're all replaceable. Wow, I know that. Remember I said nice meeting you and then I realized she was on the show Polonians Dude
Guys guys we're all replaceable. I know that I know this it's all we're all just spark plugs
It's plug in new ones and the rest of us. There's nothing special about me. No, that's not true
There's a special about you. It's called the future last time you were here in studio was awesome
DJ Luke give us a couple of the highlights remember can we do some Lou run down some one of your famous
Guys got a photographic but he remembers everything from every so as you were talking is like what a maroon Yeah, it's like what a stupid ass. I remember the bits. We did last time she was here
Lute take it away. Where's some drops? You got drops of them remember from the last time so much pressure
Just passing the buck to someone
God's usually a catalog
Just passing the buck to someone. What are you saying?
Guys, usually a catalog.
During the commercial break, I was asking you,
we're doing drug songs, like songs that make you,
specifically want to do drugs.
Not like songs that freak you out about drugs.
No, so it's most, I think of songs that I did drugs to,
therefore, remind, but like this one actually makes a lot
of sense, like Tom Petty's Last Dance with Mary Jane.
Like I did like like I did
Like I smoked pot with my friends to that and then we thought it was all same kind of vibes like 16 thought we were cool
Yeah, we're like we know this is about weed like I genuinely thought it was about loving a dead woman
I just want the video. I'm what's up. I do if you made a music video
I immediately interpreted yourself. I thought I would do anything you love what I won't do that is about a bat guy
who is in a thing and runs a motorcycle
with a smoke and hot lady who just wears
gowns yeah and just like a big a
troll monster in a castle yeah dude I
thought November rain ended with
fucking Axel Rose being trapped in a
grave looking up who finished that
music video or that song it's the
longest when it comes on the radio I
immediately switch it off it's like a
nine minute song the greatest moment of my life or it's gotta be you gotta be the right the longest when it comes on the radio I immediately switch it off it's like a nine minute song
The greatest moment of my life. It's gotta be you gotta be the right mood
But when you're in the right it is it's a great song, but you're just like dude
I like it's timed out perfectly one time when I was ending a shift at K rock and I was in the old ONA
Studios and they had these big windows that looked out and I called my girlfriend at the time and she's like I'm going out with my friends
Come out and it was like two in the morning and I was like I don't want to
go out I just finished working and as that phone call started it was November rain and
we fought through the entire seven minutes to the point where the crescendo hit and we were both yelling about it. I was like, I just fucking worked.
I just worked the whole fucking shift.
And she's like, I'll, I go out with your friends all the time.
You a joliscan drunk on a time and a half.
Also like, work, what was that an hour?
I was at karaoke, did a four hour shift.
Whoa, whoa.
And I'm sorry, but I brought the New York's only
New Rock to the airwaves.
It's true.
92.1.
Everyone's got wild and soul album. Next, up next, Gus, well, it's well-known. Maybe.1 Scott Wiley and Soil album.
Next, up next, Scott Wiley and Soil.
Maybe you can take it to dysfunctional family picnic on the 92.2.2.2.2.
WXRKK Rock.
I'm still, I'm blowing away still that last dance from Mary Jane is about to eat.
I'm sorry to break that to you.
You just learned that.
Yeah.
Like right in two seconds ago. You at least know it's a euphemism for weed, right, Mary Jane?
I do know that.
Okay, I was really worried about how you were reading it.
Wait, so that whole song was of the dork quittin' smoking weed?
No, it's a, yeah, I guess.
I guess it's about quitting.
She's no, me neither.
Ironically, ironically, around the time of that song is when he got into heroin.
Yeah.
Yeah, because he was just like, this isn't good enough for me.
I'm not doing what it is.
Yeah, it's not working anymore. Is this an anti-weeds not working anymore. I don't think it's an anti-weed. I
think I don't know. I thought it was a pro necrophilia. It's real, dude. Also, I
thought Tom Petty was dead in this video also. He died pretty recently, right?
A couple of years ago. Yeah. Tom Petty Eddie Rooves. From heroin. No.
It was from, he did a, was it fentanyl or was it, it was fentanyl?
It was definitely fentanyl, something like that.
He did?
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
He started doing heroin in his 40s, though.
Good for you.
It's never too late to really apply on something.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying with this music.
I'm trying to find songs, so I'm going to try some heroin to or something.
Oh, dude, I don't want to deal with O.P. at J.
No, but then I'll jump on the ups. Don't worry. I'm gonna have the cocaine's gonna even me out
No, I can't do that. I mean have you come in your sweaty and tired you want me shaking?
You want me shaking from the fucking DT? I don't care. I'll give you a stern talking to
I'm getting ready to walk away from you when you get too much
I like that like a like a stern father look like I'm disappointed in you Jason. I'm getting ready to walk away from you when you get too much. I like that like a stern father look
Like I'm disappointed and Jason. I cannot be around here anymore
Who needs them? Oh get your fucking
Need you cleaned up and then I'll show up later and then I'm calling you dad and you're like like get your knees feel embarrassed for me
You're like you're so steam clean him up
And then I show back up with a mustache when you're okay.
And that's where we mend fences.
I'm wearing a soft sweater.
I didn't know facial hair had sent
so many secret applications.
Oh, because you women think we're so simple.
Why would a comeback?
Because geniuses in our muscles.
I want to come back and apologize to Dan
for what I would realize now,
after being in the program for a while
and finding Christ, what I put him through.
So I go to see Dan where he's playing acoustic guitar to coffee shop or
or sweater or can I tell you right now because I'm going to have a full mustache.
Okay.
Woodworking.
Okay.
And I go for yourself.
Just whittling.
Just out there whittling.
I was thinking woodworking like like bird house maybe some cabinet tree.
And I think Katie will be drying her hands with something and she sees me first and she goes on she goes dance
Visitor and I go
Hold on Katie and then when I walk by her we don't really say much but I go I go Katie and she goes
It's good to see you Jay. He's in the garage. Yeah
What's crazy? You both have the faces for that now
I don't think you have to wait. Just do it right now.
Katie?
Hey, Jay.
We missed you.
No, or she's going to hit you with, hey, Jay.
Good to see you back.
She was, die-feet-snaple, I go.
Yeah.
We'll be right in, I guess.
You the music.
Let's dance.
There you go.
Got some talking to do.
Yeah.
What drama? I'm going to do. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Yeah, we'll be right in I guess music last dance
Got some talking to do
Yeah, what drugs did you do the okay on I was 14 years old the first night I ever did anything I did liquid ecstasy pillow ecstasy had my first beer had my first cigarette all in the same night all in the same night
I was 14 years old with a cigarette something probably made you the most nauseous did they let
you into the hell's angels it was a sick as brownie initiation
ever your first rug was ecstasy so my my my crazy my best friend at the time
her sister was so we were freshman her sister was a junior and was like
super popular and her parents worked at night. So they had this like huge rage of a party,
and literally people were like, watch them,
make, like we made sure, like they made sure we had water,
because like I learned about ecstasy,
like when I was like 16, I was like,
oh, I could like fried my brain,
because I did so much ecstasy.
But they made it, but they made sure
that we were like super hydrated,
and then she was also like, nobody touched them.
So like literally there was like seven people watching us
to make sure nobody touched us
and then we drank a lot of water.
And it was so full.
So yeah, well, they were like 16 year olds watching
and they gave you this was after they gave you ecstasy.
A lot of drugs, yeah.
So they're like, gave you ecstasy and they're like,
keep them wet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guys, these, these plants can't dry out.
They even went kicking back into the pool.
Yeah.
My favorite memory from that,
because I don't remember a lot,
but my favorite memory is that her parents did come home
probably at like 3 a.m.
so like they everything like cleaned up at like two,
da da da da da.
And so I remember my friend Ashley,
and like we had a sleepover, I'm in her bed.
We're sizzarin'
we're just getting after it.
But basically she goes,
hey my dad's gonna come in and just like check
to see that we're here and just don't say anything.
And I was like totally, and she goes,
Liz don't say anything, just pretend you're asleep.
Don't say after that.
I won't be saying anything.
I'll be sucking my friends here.
Give me your thumb.
Give me your thumb real quick.
So our dad comes in, literally just kind of looks
and shuts the door and she's like, you okay?
And I was like, there's a light show in my head.
Yeah.
Do you think he's solid?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Right, now and you're done doing drugs
Dude, I had friend my buddy Joey Owens showed up at our door in high school just on like a Wednesday and his girlfriend's parents are out of town
So he was like staying over there and he came over to my house and he was like I got into a fight with Maggie
I'm on mushrooms
Can I stay here and it was the school night? I was like?
Let me baggy his girlfriend at the time.
Yeah, that was already like over his drive.
Can I stay here on a school night?
Because his girlfriend ever fighting?
Yeah, his mom didn't care.
He stayed over your house.
No.
So he didn't have school night sleepovers.
It's pretty crazy.
Yeah, I mean, I had a couple of friends that could pull it off and, uh, Joey was one of them.
No one thought you were going to school that next day.
My dad was crazy strict, but my friend Amanda was that kind of friend.
If I was like, hey Amanda's not okay, can she sleep over my dad?
Be like, okay.
Yeah, so my mom was like, I didn't even really ask her.
Because Joey was like, hey I'm on mushrooms.
Can I stay over here and I was like, yeah go for it dude.
So I just let him in the house.
It sucks dude, you're not on mushrooms?
Well, he's- Yeah, now you're babysitting. I was smoking a cigarette, so I mean I like to smoke. I just let him in the house. It sucks, dude. You're not all mushrooms. Well, yeah now your baby setting
I was smoking a cigarette so I mean I like to smoke what do you seven in the story? I was 16
But I liked smoking so you know how it is you used to get a cigarette you're like I guess I'll throw some slides
I'm gonna have a smoke outside and Joey's just fucking boom and I just come outside and he's chattering his eyes are fucking wide
And I'm like all right well, I'm going to bed because it's school night and he's like, he cool
He's like I'll come in in a little bit
Never came in
You had a straight cat of a friend
Left
He left and then he called me
He called my phone
Did you leave a race crispy out for him or something?
No, I went outside and talked to him. Is it safe in the middle of the night?
I'll be wandering around on mushrooms in your town?
It was the suburbs, whatever, he's fine.
It's a roar though.
You know, you know he's a werewolf now.
But he called me, I heard him,
because my bedroom's upstairs,
and I heard him shuffling in the trees.
No, I heard him call me,
and I could hear his voice outside,
and I was like, dude, are you outside?
I think he's like, you don't know.
I guess I'm not gonna sleep over,
I'm just gonna go home,
and I'm like, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'll be fine. He's like, also your street's so quiet right now.
It feels like a movie studio. And I was like, oh, damn, you're tripping, huh?
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then next day was that was that school?
I don't think he showed up the next day, but he was there the day after.
Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
Oh, man, if there were iPhones, he would have made a short film.
Dude, Joey Owens threw up all over the back of McDaniel's Mustang in
high school because he was so fucked up. What is he doing now? He's a bartender in Vegas.
He rules. Okay. I was going to say he either dead or he's doing something crazy.
Yeah, McDaniel's head coach of Miami Dolphin. Yeah, the other guy in the story is the head coach
of Miami Dolphins now. For real? He's crazy isphins now crazy is that We threw up in the back seat of the head coach of Miami Dolphins two-seater Mustang
Right in the front of my house
And the door opens the big Daniel's like real cool Joey
Restored the awesome a single ever-owned and Joey just comes out to do our Mustang
He's wearing a mark echo sweatshirt and he got out of the back and he went oh yeah
It's all over me
Joey would laugh and his nostrils would flare up like that you even call them L.D. Obla because you just fucking do crazy shit
I don't know. I'm gonna go as well.
People are starting to like I'm so grateful that iPhones didn't exist in like oh one
Oh my god, but people are starting to now put like what y2k's
trending so like y2k pictures are going up on the internet now for the first
time it like it looks like all my high school friends I have an album of those
pictures and those pictures have never seen the light of the internet
and no they're in a box in a drawer that I don't know how to open like
like you have young jay for us well um no but I'm saying in the era we've seen this
before in the show I think but the era we've seen this before the show
I think but the era of like today I think it's like
Weird if you go to a public school and don't have
Negative pictures of four girls in the school in your phone or something which is such a crazy thing to me
That would have that that's just something that what nothing even possible like that was happening in school
What I was doing my buddy had a camera.
It's so crazy.
My buddy and his brothers would like find these like heists,
sort of like they would find ways to like rip off stores basically.
Like that's how I learned about the PlayStation 2 thing.
We all think that quote, quote,
quote, switch it with a new one.
And then you bring it back.
If you have like a broken one,
you just go buy a PlayStation with cash.
And then you switch the barcode and then you take the broken one back and get your cash back
And then you just have a new PlayStation 2. I learned about all these schemes from him and his brothers
And he had a video camera and he would like record stuff and it was our senior year
And he was at all these parties and he got these girls were your friends with the flash the camera because we remember being like
Dude you got him to flash like let me see it
Dude you got him to flash like let me see it. We're like yeah I'm gonna gather around the tube television with a VCR to see these boobs for us
Granny footage boobs like six years seven 20 boobs
Not even 10 80s
No, no, it's not even two
Telegra
I remember about six years ago my buddy that buddy was like dude
I found a box with all the tapes from high school and And one of my other buddies on our text thread was like,
yo, it's so and so flashing the camera on there.
My buddy wrote back, well, they were teenagers.
So if I find that, I'm deleting that video.
And my buddy was like, no, my memory is so cool.
He goes, they were 16.
We're not going to look for the end.
And then he looked at all of them, something got fucked up
and all of them magnetically got erased.
So he didn't have, he found like one tape
that just had a bunch of random things. It was only Dex. And it's like, oh, of course, it's a gated. I fucked up and all of them magnetically got erased. So you don't have, he found like one tape
that just had a bunch of random things.
There's only Dicks.
And it's like, of course, that's made it.
Young cops.
I just had somebody from like two,
I worked at the county magical from 2005 to 2008
and we go to the beach all the time.
Oh yeah, they someone showed that video of you.
Somebody sent files like apparently people,
you just didn't really notice cameras.
So people would be filming and we'd just be talking
on the beach, like not acting like anybody was filming filming and then all of a sudden I got like a file of all these
videos from those years. We gotta get ear tapes. It's comedy ones yeah. Oh yeah they're pretty good.
Do you have your like VH? I've had somebody take a bunch of my VHS tapes and make them into MP4s
like I have the first time I ever did stand up as an MP4. Yeah, it's bad. Oh, I've only got like I've one set or two
I have a mini disc mini DVR of my first weekend
Opening for Troy Baxley at laughs and it is only time I watched it
Mmm. I was opening for Jay. This is about 11 years ago. Maybe 12 years ago
It was the night that we stayed and watching the Canon was basically the seeds of the show sure
Down we were going to or do a richie redding gig and I was featuring for Jay and I was so hung over
and I somehow found those in a box and I was like in my room it was like oh I can play that
on my computer and he put it in and I was hung over and I watched it and I almost threw up.
Yeah of course. I can't watch this. I can't. I just kept sipping a beer. I'd be like no no no no no no.
It was awful. I mean I'm doing hip beer. I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. It was awful.
I mean, I'm doing hip-hop arms the whole time
and have a big silver cross-channel.
You're doing this.
You're doing this.
Oh, yeah.
But that's what it's going to say.
It's my fucking inner face.
It's my fucking know what I'm talking about.
This is my fuck right up here.
No, I'm talking about it.
But did you feel it's not even the words
that you're saying are the jokes?
It's like the gesticulating.
It's the nervous energy.
It's the weird habits.
Like genuinely just holding the mic weird,
like I'll literally be yelling at younger me,
being like, what are you, what are you talking about?
Yeah, a mic unfurler.
It was one of my favorite nervous ticks to see on some of it.
When they pull it off of the car.
No, but they're just constantly like,
they're like, they're back in the evening.
Yeah, yeah, they just a lot,
while they're talking, the mic from there always like, they're like, you know, they're just like, you know, they're just like, get it like, I're back eating. Yeah, yeah, they just a lot like while they're talking Mike from there always like like
put it in their head, but in their head, they feel like Chris
rock like holding the mic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like just like kind of get it like
out of their way a little bit.
You just want to be like no, around your neck,
around your neck.
Yeah, my favorites when they take it and they go like they
take it off, they're like football with it and they go,
okay, and they're really properly hold it in front of face
Do you guys ever notice? Oh fucking hate it watching you on comedy videos?
Excuse me, I'm sorry, I bet I got all kinds of stool fucking
Straight up fucking really just how
Sorry good you were 18 when you started 19 your how old are you when you started 16?
Jesus, how old are you 40 I was 50
I just got my second divorce
Wonder Rodney danger when a new lease on life. Yeah, that's 21. Okay. I started. I did a mic
What did you move to New York? That's when I met you is when you moved here? You were you were so
Smiley that's what I remember about meeting you
He was like he had seen me on Comedy Central and he's like I I saw you, I saw you at Live at Gotham. I really enjoyed your set. He's like six
nine. I'm like down here and I'm like, I have a boyfriend.
All right, so I was slinging it at you. But you know you were, you were just very
smiley and excited to be in New York. It was actually quite adorable. Yeah,
that's how I grew in. Yeah, it did not. No, it really, I really was that smiley. I was super pumped. You were, that's what I remembered. Super pumped to be. No, it really I really was that's my I was super pumped
That's what I remembered super pumped to be here the first six months. I was like because I moved from Tucson
I was like dude. There's so much shit here. I saw Chris rock like Chris rock and rock and I like my gym
It was it was being around a seven year old that you said you could have any candy on the table
I was pumped because again. I'm like a comedy nerd like I grew up loving comedy
candy on the table. I was pumped.
Because again, I'm like a comedy nerd.
Like I grew up loving comedy, specifically New York comedy.
Tough crowd scene, all that, the movie comedian.
I like watch to the thousand times.
So when I moved to-
Really?
Dude, I loved that.
I was in high school, I came out.
Yeah, same, I watched it a thousand times.
I was like, it was like, I love it.
Because it gave me a short glimpse of, you know what I loved?
I didn't fuck Orny and like Jerry's story
when they would show like Colin and Nick at the seller.
I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
and I was like nerding out
because I would listen to Opie and Anthony and stuff
and I'd be like, that's the table,
by the way, it wasn't the table at the seller,
but I would watch, they never filmed the actual table.
And I'd be like, that's the table at the seller.
I'm like, you know, being like a hipster little asshole.
So when I moved here, I'd be at, that's the table at the cell. Like, you know, being like a hipster little asshole. So when I moved here, I'd be at Stand Up New York
and I'd be like, this is where Jerry tells Orny
the Glenneler band story.
And I'd be like.
Very tall, very smiley.
That was my impression.
That was a fucking nerd, dude.
It was funny when I got to New York,
the guy's the table aside from Colin.
Yeah.
And the Paulo had done something,
you know, I've seen those guys on TV a bit
and like everyone, but like Norton and and those guys I didn't really know from anything
You know, I mean like Florence these guys didn't have like really done stuff
They were like the working club comics in New York, but there was nothing like like pop at least wasn't like known around anywhere
Yeah, it's just a good comic so it's funny when I got to New York. I didn't have any of like that
I'm like whoa Jim Norton. Yeah, I, they say these are the dudes who are like the,
Jim Norton told my buddy, Good Set, like in the first six months
I was here and we were both like,
woo!
Yeah, you fuck over a tell.
I had to touch this arm.
But even when I watch the tell the first time, I go,
oh wow, David Tell, I know, because I've seen his like,
I think his half hour, Comedy Central maybe,
it was that point.
And, or no, maybe it was like the,
I'd have been the HBO one, I moved moved here I started coming to New York in like 2000 99 2000 I think
that's where he put out I moved here in 2002 I'm okay I started 2002 I moved
here in 2004 yeah so I was like pretty new up here for sure but it was like it
was fun to watch those guys go me said bill burrow
I've done yeah, how many shows I've done with bill burr for 10 people at Caroline so now it's a Boston
Yeah, or whatever Boston Cb's for a while
I remember Cb's yeah, but that was now he sells out Fenway. Yeah, I showed up and it was really just
I think that's why listen I got along so well because he was a fucking he was actually a comic though like you
He was working. He was opening for DiPolo and stuff and he showed up here.
I was just, I was a comedy nerd growing up but I just knew all of it.
Like I didn't know what like the current club comics where I was 18.
Oh yeah, I was like, but I feel like anybody you watched on Comedy Central,
like I loved like Ted Alexander or Greg Doroldo, Machead Gerr.
Greg Doroldo I knew who he was, like by recognition,
and said, uh, growing.
Premium blend was big for me.
You know, and I would say premium blend and, um,
half hour specials, and then I would, I came here,
and they were, I got passed at Gotham when I was 19.
I got passed at, that's crazy.
In the lines when I was 19, stand up New York comic strip.
So like, I remember like, my favorite memory is,
I got passed at the comic strip when I was 19, I got my first pay is like a Monday it's 25 bucks
and my name was right under Louis C.K.s and I was a huge fan and so I'm looking at
it and I was like he gets paid 25 bucks I get paid 25 bucks for the same and as
I was going to the subway I was like oh my god we both got paid $25 and we're
like a 20 year age to you know what I mean like it was just one of those things
where I was super excited and then like logical Liz came in and we're like a 20 year age to you know what I mean like it was just one of those things where I was super excited
And then like logical Liz came in and I was like what am I doing with my life?
This guy said the top of his game and we're both getting 25. It was crazy
Like it was I it was so funny to me so early to be like this is not a lucrative career
Well to me I was told the lucrative first when you first come in you're young
Well, to me, I was told the lucrative first when you first come in your young
They go like buddy. You don't even have to work past like if you just get 45 together and go do colleges
You're gonna be great and then I got 45 together and I didn't realize that colleges are really you don't have to be clean
They never don't want you to be dirty. Yeah, and whenever I do colleges, I'm like, you know, blah, blah, blah, black joke.
And then they're like, boom.
And I was like, I guess I'm never going to make money because they were always like colleges
that you make money.
Yeah.
$3,000.
You can get $3,000 a night for doing these college.
Yeah.
And then Bill Burk.
So quickly.
And then Bill Burk's thing was like, even though it was no, he wasn't drawing or anything
because his act he did colleges, he was able to buy a apartment. Yeah. And based off of just like knack a stuff. Really? Yeah. That's when
you got that. Yeah. The one that the Rosa lived in. Yes. Yeah. It was all like money.
I slept on that couch very drunk before because of Joe the Rosa. Yeah. It's like money from
the knack, but man, those I couldn't do it. I did college. That was the, that was how
I first started becoming a full-time comic was like colleges and stuff. I had a college agent pretty young and like the thing is is that like I'm not
dirty, but I'm not relatable. You know what I mean? Like they also don't tell you like I was I'd
never lived a teenager's life. I was doing stand-up when I was 16. So like. Yeah, you heard all that
liquid ecstasy. Yeah, no, I was I was a drug addict. That is the problem with all of that is
starting at
19, even 21 in some degree, but you did start 21 and you were like you really were you moved from home.
You got to have like, you know, you were due to college experience. Like I was a babysitter for my
brother and sisters for most of the time. My experiences were pretty common growing up for the
most part. And then you're 19 like, like I'm funny, but I really you're drawing from zero life nothing that's all about oh so all I have was like
dice clay was always made me laugh so I'd go do dirty stuff and then colleges
are like you can't do that yeah yeah you can't open with an anal joke like oh
but I thought I mind-mind I'm like college we're all kids that's stupid right
I'm gonna get laid a bunch not it was so the opposite the opposite. They never, sometimes they'd ask me to leave quickly
after the show.
I've never felt older than when I first got,
I was probably like 20, 23 when I got my first college gig.
So it's like two years replaced from college.
And I was like, I'm gonna go, I was drinking,
I was like, I'm gonna rip it up.
It's easy.
Probably be at a house party or whatever.
I never felt older.
That was the oldest I've ever felt.
When I went to go to stand up for college kids and I was like what's going on there like I don't know
And I'm like am I oh no, I'm fucking old and I did okay got my money got the fuck out of there in a 25 year
Almost now career. I've done my guess is 10 or less colleges. That's very low. Did you go to college? No
Did you go to for a month? Yeah?
Colleges. That's very low. Did you go to college? No, did you go to I went for a month? Yeah, I finished shout out University of Arizona I went to the new school and like it wasn't a traditional college like I didn't take any math or something like I literally went for writing
I read a bunch of books I wrote a bunch of essays and you can see what happened. You have a degree. I do
But what do I got to do it? What is it associate bachelor's? It's a bachelor's in writing. I mean I did write a book
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, it took like 20 years Where is it associate bachelor's? It's a bachelor's in writing. I mean, I did write a book. You can get it. And she did use your degree.
Yeah, you did.
It took like 20 years.
I did call it my dad when I got my book published.
I was like, I finally used my degree.
He's like, don't call me up and tell me that.
Her book, this is book, Why Cats or Assholes
is available on Amazon.
I'll pick it up.
Why, thank you.
Yeah.
But why I asked is like, not only did I,
was I not living in, like I genuinely, like not only did I was I not living it like I
Genuine like third people in the city these half our community has known me since I was 16 years old And I would bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and all my school books and I would like hand out flyers at Ha
And I would like do like the laugh lounge because I opened up around when I was 19
And I would do my homework and I would eat peanut butter and jelly and I would like do spots
And then I would study in between sets like there's people.
So I wasn't, I half the time all my friends that were like partying doing drugs,
I was like, I would show up at one and they were all drunk and it wasn't fun and I would go back home.
So even when I would do colleges, like I haven't lived this,
I didn't even live a traditional life because I watched my siblings when I was younger.
So I was either watching my siblings or doing stand-up.
And like I was actually just telling somebody recently, like, I did a lot of drugs and I drank a lot when I was a. So I was either watching my siblings or doing stand-up. And like I was actually just telling somebody recently like I did a lot of
drugs and I drank a lot when I was a teenager because I was sad and that's
what you're supposed to do. For sure. But I got into stand-up and that was really
kind of cheesy enough what saved me. But I would go to these house parties when I
was like 14, 15 years old and you know we just had one computer and one printer
and I didn't want anybody to know I was writing jokes. So I'd go to a house
party. All my friends are like having sex and doing drugs and I was like oh
sweet computer and I would type up my jokes and
print them out. And people were like, are you having fun? I was like, yeah, I think I wrote
three jokes. Like genuinely. Someone's in the backyard, like I just threw
up in the backyard, Liz, what are you doing? And she goes, you know what's crazy is when
you do walk in, they say that. That's gonna leave me. Well, we talked about this before
I think on the show, it was funny to watch that thing of like my everyday friends.
I was doing something so off the kind of books of what they were like, what you're doing
comedy, but like the Eagles are playing Monday.
Do you know what I mean?
Or like whatever.
I was like, yeah, I'm going to go these open mics on a Tuesday night.
It goes, that's 10 cent wing night over at blah, blah, blah.
When we all watch this, you know what I mean?
Or we all go here. You know what I mean?
Or we all go here.
We hang and they just drink and they just really didn't have any kind of.
So it was weird to like lose, again, not having experiences because I was doing comedy.
Yeah.
So you almost have to have start doing comedy and get out there and do it to have some
like life experience.
It's very interesting like I had a circle back from nothing because yeah, I'd go, my
friends, it's funny watching them all move on and you're kind of like I don't even know what is I'm doing yeah
Yeah, I'm not really moving on because I'm hanging out of the thing and they go you know, I was talking the
Breakout last night my everyday friends like who would you go break guys a 45 year old black dude? I do comedy with
Are you 19? I'm like yeah, no, he's great though
He's also you just use all name earthquake. You don't know earthquake old black dude I do comedy with him. Are you 19? I'm like, yeah, no, he's great though.
He's good.
It's also you just use all the earthquake.
You don't know earthquake, like you're using.
Dude, it was much sadder for me.
Oh, I feel he has it.
He goes, ah, do beefy funny.
He said the funniest thing yesterday.
Do you go beefy funny?
You're like, oh, he's the best dude.
He's not a 40 year old black guy with freckles on his face.
He's wild dude.
I think he might be on drugs.
Tucson was a sadder because I'd be at the University of Arizona
And they'd be like we're gonna got this crazy party at SA what are you doing?
And you're like
I'm opening for
Marcelle the clown
What was his name? He was there was a silent clown and his wife played the pickle out
T.C. Hatter's they was T.C. Hatter and Marcee and and and they're like I'm featuring for him if T.C. Hattern. They was T.C. Hattern and Marcian.
And they're like, I'm featuring for them
if you want to come or whatever.
It's a silent clown.
And as she lays a pic, it's a comedy act.
Yeah.
It's a clown act, I guess.
Yeah.
T.C. Hattern.
T.C. Hatter.
Hattern. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh What's crazy is he's jacked. I didn't know performing when I was in college I went I went back and he's he's in a clown. He's in like a big suit or whatever
Have to be people try and try to try to kill you all the time. There it is dude
By the way that guy's jacked under he'd take his suit
He looks like a big guy. Yeah, dude there it is and they were staying in the they were
Clarinet. Oh, it is
I don't want to fact check that was the piccolo. I swear it used to be the piccolo
And I was staying the condo with them
and be like, this is fucked up.
This guy's got a dark past.
Dude, I'm telling you right now, Jay,
when you saw his body and him out of the makeup,
I was like, were you one of the guys in heat?
Yeah.
He looks like he's like a career at Dark Past, yeah.
And so I would be like,
because two songs, it was like a seerum.
So you'd be like, yeah, you probably saw him
on Showtime's Dearest Dozens back in in 86 and they're like, I didn't.
I'm going to go to start ranch and do cocaine.
And you're like, okay, well, I'm going to be going to be going to guestsets for Tommy Davidson.
It's also so weird that like you'll have these things that feel like accomplishments or you feel like you're leveling up or you're getting further
and you feel like you have no one to share it with.
Like you just, there's, I remember even just being like even just being oh no one understands the thing that goes, you know
I did fucking ten minutes straight through tonight and they're like what yeah
Ten whole minutes you go, you know fucking crazy it is to talk for ten minutes with nobody talking back to you
You're just talking. They're not talking to you. You just talk that's nuts
But I think like any any kind of pursuit is like that like when you start doing something
Yeah, not not only comedy, but anything when you start getting into it you're like, what the fuck am I doing?
Yeah, what the fuck and you like look around and people like what are you doing?
And you're like, I don't know because I remember before I got I was too big of a pussy to try to stand up and I would do
I did radio I did like I worked at KFM. I should not KM it
It is real thing.
It is a real thing.
It's a large outdoor concert in the Southwest.
And I would leave parties to go do overnight
at the radio station.
So they'd be like playing beer pong,
and they'd be like, all right, I gotta go.
And they're like, where you going?
I'm like, 40 minutes nonstop near rock.
Yeah, I'm just like,
you see, you see what's that legal place?
You're gonna hear some system of it down
in the Lincoln Park.
It was like, I was like 19 when that was happening.
So I get it, because all the 19 year old kids were like,
oh, we're raging tonight.
And I was like, I'm raging against the machine.
And then I, it's a power.
You know what I came to New York also,
that's the thing that's telling too,
when I got here, I could have maybe done a life of like trains.
I always drove, but like I could have done trains
and drank more and do whatever,
but my thing was also, my ex got pregnant with my daughter. My daughter is going
to be 20 next month. So like, it's so old. It's crazy. It is. So I can't believe you're
someone's dad. That's like more mind. Is a bell is a full of gold now, dude. I'm sure
she's awesome. I remember as a bell being I remember is a bell being a little girl and
being amazed at me sitting on the floor. Tracking for car. Yeah cross, you know, she never forgets
But I said having her so young like I had to go back my ex was in like law school at one point during that when she was little
So when everyone was just getting done
The shows and I would get done my last show and everyone's let's go to the bag it in yeah
You look I can go back and go over and the thing it was yeah
I was like I was like I got to take care of a kid all day tomorrow.
And also I'm driving, so I can't really drink or anything.
So, I think like about three years,
probably about three years into being in New York,
was when I really started smoking weed a lot.
Yeah, but I never did before.
But I missed, so did you go back and forth from Philly?
You started in Philly, right?
At first, for like the first two years,
and then I moved up after 9-11,
because it was too hard to...
Because you were just like, what, all the terrorists?
They forgot about me.
No, it was taking nine hours to get here and home.
It was just taking so long to drive.
So yeah, circumcincts, I just moved up.
But yeah, always having that responsibility too.
I didn't, I missed out on a lot of experience of,
because every like comics,
in especially in their 30s stories,
are them fucking up in their 20s like drinking
and the nights they got wild and did whatever.
And through that, I didn't have it.
I didn't have any of those things at all.
So it was funny like to find those stories more like
in my 30s and 40s where you're like,
oh, we got fucked up last night at Pink Floyd Concert.
Are you talking a story from 1967?
No, no, no, no, yes, today.
When Jay moved into the city with me,
it was like the first time I think ever in New York comedy
that you weren't driving, and I started drinking again.
And so there was like a good two or three years
where we were just like fucking 21 raging again.
I was fine.
Such a bad influence.
I was fine.
I hadn't had a development problem. I could still drink. I was fine. I was fine. I don't have any
development problem. I can still drink to this day. Christine has a
problem. Yeah, but when I like it's adorable. Jay doesn't
drink the way we were drinking like I had Jay doesn't drink.
Like he has like he'll drink like three shots and have a beer
and like that's his night. When he was drinking with me, we'd
like do the shots and I want another shot
and another shot later and then like more.
I can't imagine what it's like.
I still do this what you're saying.
I still do what you're saying.
I start with three shots over the course of the rest of the night.
I'll do like up to like maybe three more,
but if I start feeling fucking like, you know,
like oh shit, I'm like feeling it, I'll stop drinking.
I don't have like, I don't go,
we gotta arrive this, I don't have that gene. I'm also like, so I like smoked a lot and I drank stop drinking. I don't have like, I don't go. We got to ride this. I don't have that gene
I'm also like so I like smoked a lot and I drank a lot when I was a teenager because I was sad like that's you know
You just kind of self-medicate and then I got into comedy. I didn't do it. I just I found what I liked and then I don't I don't
I haven't I think it's been over eight years. I stopped because of stomach issues, but I never was
Weed I can't do because I have panic attacks. I really am actually very
resentful that that got taken away from me because I never had a problem. I just push through it.
Dude, well, I start. That is the answer unfortunately. I have scary ones. No, like panic attack
wall high is the worst thing that can ever happen because I've had panic attacks and I've been
very high and freaked out panic attack. Those are like, but you know what? You have to have that.
No, I don't like the way your eyes are looking at me. You're like literally looking at me like I didn't try hard enough.
Go rough yourself. You have to, you have to push through.
No, push through. I was like going to murder somebody.
Liz. No, stop it. Don't murder anybody guys and get beyond Liz.
I'm not gonna have you teach me to do drugs better. Liz.
I don't want to end up like you.
Every Liz, every sea captain sees a storm
as a new opportunity.
You need to learn how to see, you see past the panic attack
push.
A full history.
And that's also known as the fetal position.
This panic attack right here.
You look at the throw it.
We'll trick it a trade. You can nap right through those. No, no, I've I've woken up still having a panic attack right here A little trick of the trade you can nap right through those. Oh no, no, I've I've woken up still having a panic attack
It's fucking like it's still happening
We have to take him to the break we do should we say goodbye to lose?
Yeah, so the buying instead of rushing it out. Yeah, Liz is new special the Ghost of Academic Future streaming now on YouTube.
You can catch Liz on the road with dates coming up Long Island of Governors. You got the Moine
Iowa, Rutherford, New Jersey Salt Lake City and Tampa for tickets in all other tour dates.
Visit LizMeeley.com. That's M-I-E-L-E.com. And our book Why Cats or Assoles also available on
Amazon. Our old friend Liz Liz Mealy. Thanks guys.
Our old young friend Liz Mealy.
He's about to came here for the first time ever.
Oh yeah, did 20th time. You know what?
You're 20th appearance.
This is a good, this is a really good premiere appearance for you. I think you have you back.
Oh sweet.
We're the same outfit just a really popular.
Liz Mealy everybody make sure you check it out and we will be right back to say goodbye.
It's the bonfire.
Mmm.
Oh yeah.
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