The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - We're Live (feat. Liz Miele)

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Liz Miele joins The Bonfire and the gang talks about songs that make them want to use. Jay discovers that Tom Petty's classic "Mary Jane's Last Dance" is about weed. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay O...akerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@LizMiele www.LizMiele.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and dance odor. I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine. I like this. Can't wait to tell our guest that Christine used to pop the song, I think she was cool. And while doing cocaine. While doing cocaine. I was 16. What a dildo.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Swing in a baggie. I got it. Party game. Party game. Everybody's the bomb fire. In fact, you talk Siri 6103, big jokers and Dan Sodor, our guest, everybody. Yeah Everybody's the bomb fire Effective talk series XM103 big Joker's and Dan Sodor our guest everybody has a new special the ghost of academic future It's streaming right now on YouTube. It's Liz Mealy everybody
Starting point is 00:00:56 First time on the show right no, I did it during I did zoomed it I zoomed it with you guys and then I think I was here before the zoom so now I just feel sad that you don't remember Long time friend of the show is me Post guys oh we're live on live you know what I also do is I love when you when I know you're taking the intro of a guest because I Feared of doing that every time like they're gonna here before here before. I mean, I did it to Sebastian. I walked out and I was like, hey, nice to meet you. He was like, I was on your show. I did the show before.
Starting point is 00:01:32 I was in the studio doing your show. You'll go, boom. I did it outside. And then I remembered. I said, nice meeting you. And then I realized she was on the show. Polonians. Damn, dude. Guys, guys, we're all replaceable. Wow, I know that. Remember I said nice meeting you and then I realized she was on the show Polonians Dude
Starting point is 00:01:45 Guys guys we're all replaceable. I know that I know this it's all we're all just spark plugs It's plug in new ones and the rest of us. There's nothing special about me. No, that's not true There's a special about you. It's called the future last time you were here in studio was awesome DJ Luke give us a couple of the highlights remember can we do some Lou run down some one of your famous Guys got a photographic but he remembers everything from every so as you were talking is like what a maroon Yeah, it's like what a stupid ass. I remember the bits. We did last time she was here Lute take it away. Where's some drops? You got drops of them remember from the last time so much pressure Just passing the buck to someone God's usually a catalog
Starting point is 00:02:22 Just passing the buck to someone. What are you saying? Guys, usually a catalog. During the commercial break, I was asking you, we're doing drug songs, like songs that make you, specifically want to do drugs. Not like songs that freak you out about drugs. No, so it's most, I think of songs that I did drugs to, therefore, remind, but like this one actually makes a lot
Starting point is 00:02:41 of sense, like Tom Petty's Last Dance with Mary Jane. Like I did like like I did Like I smoked pot with my friends to that and then we thought it was all same kind of vibes like 16 thought we were cool Yeah, we're like we know this is about weed like I genuinely thought it was about loving a dead woman I just want the video. I'm what's up. I do if you made a music video I immediately interpreted yourself. I thought I would do anything you love what I won't do that is about a bat guy who is in a thing and runs a motorcycle with a smoke and hot lady who just wears
Starting point is 00:03:10 gowns yeah and just like a big a troll monster in a castle yeah dude I thought November rain ended with fucking Axel Rose being trapped in a grave looking up who finished that music video or that song it's the longest when it comes on the radio I immediately switch it off it's like a
Starting point is 00:03:24 nine minute song the greatest moment of my life or it's gotta be you gotta be the right the longest when it comes on the radio I immediately switch it off it's like a nine minute song The greatest moment of my life. It's gotta be you gotta be the right mood But when you're in the right it is it's a great song, but you're just like dude I like it's timed out perfectly one time when I was ending a shift at K rock and I was in the old ONA Studios and they had these big windows that looked out and I called my girlfriend at the time and she's like I'm going out with my friends Come out and it was like two in the morning and I was like I don't want to go out I just finished working and as that phone call started it was November rain and we fought through the entire seven minutes to the point where the crescendo hit and we were both yelling about it. I was like, I just fucking worked.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I just worked the whole fucking shift. And she's like, I'll, I go out with your friends all the time. You a joliscan drunk on a time and a half. Also like, work, what was that an hour? I was at karaoke, did a four hour shift. Whoa, whoa. And I'm sorry, but I brought the New York's only New Rock to the airwaves.
Starting point is 00:04:21 It's true. 92.1. Everyone's got wild and soul album. Next, up next, Gus, well, it's well-known. Maybe.1 Scott Wiley and Soil album. Next, up next, Scott Wiley and Soil. Maybe you can take it to dysfunctional family picnic on the 92.2.2.2.2. WXRKK Rock. I'm still, I'm blowing away still that last dance from Mary Jane is about to eat. I'm sorry to break that to you.
Starting point is 00:04:41 You just learned that. Yeah. Like right in two seconds ago. You at least know it's a euphemism for weed, right, Mary Jane? I do know that. Okay, I was really worried about how you were reading it. Wait, so that whole song was of the dork quittin' smoking weed? No, it's a, yeah, I guess. I guess it's about quitting.
Starting point is 00:04:55 She's no, me neither. Ironically, ironically, around the time of that song is when he got into heroin. Yeah. Yeah, because he was just like, this isn't good enough for me. I'm not doing what it is. Yeah, it's not working anymore. Is this an anti-weeds not working anymore. I don't think it's an anti-weed. I think I don't know. I thought it was a pro necrophilia. It's real, dude. Also, I thought Tom Petty was dead in this video also. He died pretty recently, right?
Starting point is 00:05:20 A couple of years ago. Yeah. Tom Petty Eddie Rooves. From heroin. No. It was from, he did a, was it fentanyl or was it, it was fentanyl? It was definitely fentanyl, something like that. He did? Yeah. Oh, damn. He started doing heroin in his 40s, though. Good for you.
Starting point is 00:05:36 It's never too late to really apply on something. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying with this music. I'm trying to find songs, so I'm going to try some heroin to or something. Oh, dude, I don't want to deal with O.P. at J. No, but then I'll jump on the ups. Don't worry. I'm gonna have the cocaine's gonna even me out No, I can't do that. I mean have you come in your sweaty and tired you want me shaking? You want me shaking from the fucking DT? I don't care. I'll give you a stern talking to
Starting point is 00:05:58 I'm getting ready to walk away from you when you get too much I like that like a like a stern father look like I'm disappointed in you Jason. I'm getting ready to walk away from you when you get too much. I like that like a stern father look Like I'm disappointed and Jason. I cannot be around here anymore Who needs them? Oh get your fucking Need you cleaned up and then I'll show up later and then I'm calling you dad and you're like like get your knees feel embarrassed for me You're like you're so steam clean him up And then I show back up with a mustache when you're okay. And that's where we mend fences.
Starting point is 00:06:26 I'm wearing a soft sweater. I didn't know facial hair had sent so many secret applications. Oh, because you women think we're so simple. Why would a comeback? Because geniuses in our muscles. I want to come back and apologize to Dan for what I would realize now,
Starting point is 00:06:39 after being in the program for a while and finding Christ, what I put him through. So I go to see Dan where he's playing acoustic guitar to coffee shop or or sweater or can I tell you right now because I'm going to have a full mustache. Okay. Woodworking. Okay. And I go for yourself.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Just whittling. Just out there whittling. I was thinking woodworking like like bird house maybe some cabinet tree. And I think Katie will be drying her hands with something and she sees me first and she goes on she goes dance Visitor and I go Hold on Katie and then when I walk by her we don't really say much but I go I go Katie and she goes It's good to see you Jay. He's in the garage. Yeah What's crazy? You both have the faces for that now
Starting point is 00:07:27 I don't think you have to wait. Just do it right now. Katie? Hey, Jay. We missed you. No, or she's going to hit you with, hey, Jay. Good to see you back. She was, die-feet-snaple, I go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:38 We'll be right in, I guess. You the music. Let's dance. There you go. Got some talking to do. Yeah. What drama? I'm going to do. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Yeah, we'll be right in I guess music last dance Got some talking to do
Starting point is 00:07:55 Yeah, what drugs did you do the okay on I was 14 years old the first night I ever did anything I did liquid ecstasy pillow ecstasy had my first beer had my first cigarette all in the same night all in the same night I was 14 years old with a cigarette something probably made you the most nauseous did they let you into the hell's angels it was a sick as brownie initiation ever your first rug was ecstasy so my my my crazy my best friend at the time her sister was so we were freshman her sister was a junior and was like super popular and her parents worked at night. So they had this like huge rage of a party, and literally people were like, watch them, make, like we made sure, like they made sure we had water,
Starting point is 00:08:31 because like I learned about ecstasy, like when I was like 16, I was like, oh, I could like fried my brain, because I did so much ecstasy. But they made it, but they made sure that we were like super hydrated, and then she was also like, nobody touched them. So like literally there was like seven people watching us
Starting point is 00:08:44 to make sure nobody touched us and then we drank a lot of water. And it was so full. So yeah, well, they were like 16 year olds watching and they gave you this was after they gave you ecstasy. A lot of drugs, yeah. So they're like, gave you ecstasy and they're like, keep them wet.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, these, these plants can't dry out. They even went kicking back into the pool. Yeah. My favorite memory from that, because I don't remember a lot, but my favorite memory is that her parents did come home probably at like 3 a.m.
Starting point is 00:09:09 so like they everything like cleaned up at like two, da da da da da. And so I remember my friend Ashley, and like we had a sleepover, I'm in her bed. We're sizzarin' we're just getting after it. But basically she goes, hey my dad's gonna come in and just like check
Starting point is 00:09:20 to see that we're here and just don't say anything. And I was like totally, and she goes, Liz don't say anything, just pretend you're asleep. Don't say after that. I won't be saying anything. I'll be sucking my friends here. Give me your thumb. Give me your thumb real quick.
Starting point is 00:09:32 So our dad comes in, literally just kind of looks and shuts the door and she's like, you okay? And I was like, there's a light show in my head. Yeah. Do you think he's solid? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right, now and you're done doing drugs Dude, I had friend my buddy Joey Owens showed up at our door in high school just on like a Wednesday and his girlfriend's parents are out of town
Starting point is 00:09:52 So he was like staying over there and he came over to my house and he was like I got into a fight with Maggie I'm on mushrooms Can I stay here and it was the school night? I was like? Let me baggy his girlfriend at the time. Yeah, that was already like over his drive. Can I stay here on a school night? Because his girlfriend ever fighting? Yeah, his mom didn't care.
Starting point is 00:10:13 He stayed over your house. No. So he didn't have school night sleepovers. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, I mean, I had a couple of friends that could pull it off and, uh, Joey was one of them. No one thought you were going to school that next day. My dad was crazy strict, but my friend Amanda was that kind of friend. If I was like, hey Amanda's not okay, can she sleep over my dad?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Be like, okay. Yeah, so my mom was like, I didn't even really ask her. Because Joey was like, hey I'm on mushrooms. Can I stay over here and I was like, yeah go for it dude. So I just let him in the house. It sucks dude, you're not on mushrooms? Well, he's- Yeah, now you're babysitting. I was smoking a cigarette, so I mean I like to smoke. I just let him in the house. It sucks, dude. You're not all mushrooms. Well, yeah now your baby setting I was smoking a cigarette so I mean I like to smoke what do you seven in the story? I was 16
Starting point is 00:10:51 But I liked smoking so you know how it is you used to get a cigarette you're like I guess I'll throw some slides I'm gonna have a smoke outside and Joey's just fucking boom and I just come outside and he's chattering his eyes are fucking wide And I'm like all right well, I'm going to bed because it's school night and he's like, he cool He's like I'll come in in a little bit Never came in You had a straight cat of a friend Left He left and then he called me
Starting point is 00:11:16 He called my phone Did you leave a race crispy out for him or something? No, I went outside and talked to him. Is it safe in the middle of the night? I'll be wandering around on mushrooms in your town? It was the suburbs, whatever, he's fine. It's a roar though. You know, you know he's a werewolf now. But he called me, I heard him,
Starting point is 00:11:31 because my bedroom's upstairs, and I heard him shuffling in the trees. No, I heard him call me, and I could hear his voice outside, and I was like, dude, are you outside? I think he's like, you don't know. I guess I'm not gonna sleep over, I'm just gonna go home,
Starting point is 00:11:43 and I'm like, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'll be fine. He's like, also your street's so quiet right now. It feels like a movie studio. And I was like, oh, damn, you're tripping, huh? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then next day was that was that school? I don't think he showed up the next day, but he was there the day after. Yeah, that was pretty crazy. Oh, man, if there were iPhones, he would have made a short film. Dude, Joey Owens threw up all over the back of McDaniel's Mustang in high school because he was so fucked up. What is he doing now? He's a bartender in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:12:15 He rules. Okay. I was going to say he either dead or he's doing something crazy. Yeah, McDaniel's head coach of Miami Dolphin. Yeah, the other guy in the story is the head coach of Miami Dolphins now. For real? He's crazy isphins now crazy is that We threw up in the back seat of the head coach of Miami Dolphins two-seater Mustang Right in the front of my house And the door opens the big Daniel's like real cool Joey Restored the awesome a single ever-owned and Joey just comes out to do our Mustang He's wearing a mark echo sweatshirt and he got out of the back and he went oh yeah It's all over me
Starting point is 00:12:48 Joey would laugh and his nostrils would flare up like that you even call them L.D. Obla because you just fucking do crazy shit I don't know. I'm gonna go as well. People are starting to like I'm so grateful that iPhones didn't exist in like oh one Oh my god, but people are starting to now put like what y2k's trending so like y2k pictures are going up on the internet now for the first time it like it looks like all my high school friends I have an album of those pictures and those pictures have never seen the light of the internet and no they're in a box in a drawer that I don't know how to open like
Starting point is 00:13:19 like you have young jay for us well um no but I'm saying in the era we've seen this before in the show I think but the era we've seen this before the show I think but the era of like today I think it's like Weird if you go to a public school and don't have Negative pictures of four girls in the school in your phone or something which is such a crazy thing to me That would have that that's just something that what nothing even possible like that was happening in school What I was doing my buddy had a camera. It's so crazy.
Starting point is 00:13:46 My buddy and his brothers would like find these like heists, sort of like they would find ways to like rip off stores basically. Like that's how I learned about the PlayStation 2 thing. We all think that quote, quote, quote, switch it with a new one. And then you bring it back. If you have like a broken one, you just go buy a PlayStation with cash.
Starting point is 00:14:02 And then you switch the barcode and then you take the broken one back and get your cash back And then you just have a new PlayStation 2. I learned about all these schemes from him and his brothers And he had a video camera and he would like record stuff and it was our senior year And he was at all these parties and he got these girls were your friends with the flash the camera because we remember being like Dude you got him to flash like let me see it Dude you got him to flash like let me see it. We're like yeah I'm gonna gather around the tube television with a VCR to see these boobs for us Granny footage boobs like six years seven 20 boobs Not even 10 80s
Starting point is 00:14:33 No, no, it's not even two Telegra I remember about six years ago my buddy that buddy was like dude I found a box with all the tapes from high school and And one of my other buddies on our text thread was like, yo, it's so and so flashing the camera on there. My buddy wrote back, well, they were teenagers. So if I find that, I'm deleting that video. And my buddy was like, no, my memory is so cool.
Starting point is 00:14:55 He goes, they were 16. We're not going to look for the end. And then he looked at all of them, something got fucked up and all of them magnetically got erased. So he didn't have, he found like one tape that just had a bunch of random things. It was only Dex. And it's like, oh, of course, it's a gated. I fucked up and all of them magnetically got erased. So you don't have, he found like one tape that just had a bunch of random things. There's only Dicks.
Starting point is 00:15:07 And it's like, of course, that's made it. Young cops. I just had somebody from like two, I worked at the county magical from 2005 to 2008 and we go to the beach all the time. Oh yeah, they someone showed that video of you. Somebody sent files like apparently people, you just didn't really notice cameras.
Starting point is 00:15:22 So people would be filming and we'd just be talking on the beach, like not acting like anybody was filming filming and then all of a sudden I got like a file of all these videos from those years. We gotta get ear tapes. It's comedy ones yeah. Oh yeah they're pretty good. Do you have your like VH? I've had somebody take a bunch of my VHS tapes and make them into MP4s like I have the first time I ever did stand up as an MP4. Yeah, it's bad. Oh, I've only got like I've one set or two I have a mini disc mini DVR of my first weekend Opening for Troy Baxley at laughs and it is only time I watched it Mmm. I was opening for Jay. This is about 11 years ago. Maybe 12 years ago
Starting point is 00:15:59 It was the night that we stayed and watching the Canon was basically the seeds of the show sure Down we were going to or do a richie redding gig and I was featuring for Jay and I was so hung over and I somehow found those in a box and I was like in my room it was like oh I can play that on my computer and he put it in and I was hung over and I watched it and I almost threw up. Yeah of course. I can't watch this. I can't. I just kept sipping a beer. I'd be like no no no no no no. It was awful. I mean I'm doing hip beer. I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. It was awful. I mean, I'm doing hip-hop arms the whole time and have a big silver cross-channel.
Starting point is 00:16:31 You're doing this. You're doing this. Oh, yeah. But that's what it's going to say. It's my fucking inner face. It's my fucking know what I'm talking about. This is my fuck right up here. No, I'm talking about it.
Starting point is 00:16:39 But did you feel it's not even the words that you're saying are the jokes? It's like the gesticulating. It's the nervous energy. It's the weird habits. Like genuinely just holding the mic weird, like I'll literally be yelling at younger me, being like, what are you, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:16:53 Yeah, a mic unfurler. It was one of my favorite nervous ticks to see on some of it. When they pull it off of the car. No, but they're just constantly like, they're like, they're back in the evening. Yeah, yeah, they just a lot, while they're talking, the mic from there always like, they're like, you know, they're just like, you know, they're just like, get it like, I're back eating. Yeah, yeah, they just a lot like while they're talking Mike from there always like like put it in their head, but in their head, they feel like Chris
Starting point is 00:17:10 rock like holding the mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like just like kind of get it like out of their way a little bit. You just want to be like no, around your neck, around your neck. Yeah, my favorites when they take it and they go like they take it off, they're like football with it and they go, okay, and they're really properly hold it in front of face
Starting point is 00:17:26 Do you guys ever notice? Oh fucking hate it watching you on comedy videos? Excuse me, I'm sorry, I bet I got all kinds of stool fucking Straight up fucking really just how Sorry good you were 18 when you started 19 your how old are you when you started 16? Jesus, how old are you 40 I was 50 I just got my second divorce Wonder Rodney danger when a new lease on life. Yeah, that's 21. Okay. I started. I did a mic What did you move to New York? That's when I met you is when you moved here? You were you were so
Starting point is 00:17:58 Smiley that's what I remember about meeting you He was like he had seen me on Comedy Central and he's like I I saw you, I saw you at Live at Gotham. I really enjoyed your set. He's like six nine. I'm like down here and I'm like, I have a boyfriend. All right, so I was slinging it at you. But you know you were, you were just very smiley and excited to be in New York. It was actually quite adorable. Yeah, that's how I grew in. Yeah, it did not. No, it really, I really was that smiley. I was super pumped. You were, that's what I remembered. Super pumped to be. No, it really I really was that's my I was super pumped That's what I remembered super pumped to be here the first six months. I was like because I moved from Tucson I was like dude. There's so much shit here. I saw Chris rock like Chris rock and rock and I like my gym
Starting point is 00:18:36 It was it was being around a seven year old that you said you could have any candy on the table I was pumped because again. I'm like a comedy nerd like I grew up loving comedy candy on the table. I was pumped. Because again, I'm like a comedy nerd. Like I grew up loving comedy, specifically New York comedy. Tough crowd scene, all that, the movie comedian. I like watch to the thousand times. So when I moved to-
Starting point is 00:18:53 Really? Dude, I loved that. I was in high school, I came out. Yeah, same, I watched it a thousand times. I was like, it was like, I love it. Because it gave me a short glimpse of, you know what I loved? I didn't fuck Orny and like Jerry's story when they would show like Colin and Nick at the seller.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and I was like nerding out because I would listen to Opie and Anthony and stuff and I'd be like, that's the table, by the way, it wasn't the table at the seller, but I would watch, they never filmed the actual table. And I'd be like, that's the table at the seller. I'm like, you know, being like a hipster little asshole.
Starting point is 00:19:24 So when I moved here, I'd be at, that's the table at the cell. Like, you know, being like a hipster little asshole. So when I moved here, I'd be at Stand Up New York and I'd be like, this is where Jerry tells Orny the Glenneler band story. And I'd be like. Very tall, very smiley. That was my impression. That was a fucking nerd, dude. It was funny when I got to New York,
Starting point is 00:19:37 the guy's the table aside from Colin. Yeah. And the Paulo had done something, you know, I've seen those guys on TV a bit and like everyone, but like Norton and and those guys I didn't really know from anything You know, I mean like Florence these guys didn't have like really done stuff They were like the working club comics in New York, but there was nothing like like pop at least wasn't like known around anywhere Yeah, it's just a good comic so it's funny when I got to New York. I didn't have any of like that
Starting point is 00:20:00 I'm like whoa Jim Norton. Yeah, I, they say these are the dudes who are like the, Jim Norton told my buddy, Good Set, like in the first six months I was here and we were both like, woo! Yeah, you fuck over a tell. I had to touch this arm. But even when I watch the tell the first time, I go, oh wow, David Tell, I know, because I've seen his like,
Starting point is 00:20:19 I think his half hour, Comedy Central maybe, it was that point. And, or no, maybe it was like the, I'd have been the HBO one, I moved moved here I started coming to New York in like 2000 99 2000 I think that's where he put out I moved here in 2002 I'm okay I started 2002 I moved here in 2004 yeah so I was like pretty new up here for sure but it was like it was fun to watch those guys go me said bill burrow I've done yeah, how many shows I've done with bill burr for 10 people at Caroline so now it's a Boston
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah, or whatever Boston Cb's for a while I remember Cb's yeah, but that was now he sells out Fenway. Yeah, I showed up and it was really just I think that's why listen I got along so well because he was a fucking he was actually a comic though like you He was working. He was opening for DiPolo and stuff and he showed up here. I was just, I was a comedy nerd growing up but I just knew all of it. Like I didn't know what like the current club comics where I was 18. Oh yeah, I was like, but I feel like anybody you watched on Comedy Central, like I loved like Ted Alexander or Greg Doroldo, Machead Gerr.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Greg Doroldo I knew who he was, like by recognition, and said, uh, growing. Premium blend was big for me. You know, and I would say premium blend and, um, half hour specials, and then I would, I came here, and they were, I got passed at Gotham when I was 19. I got passed at, that's crazy. In the lines when I was 19, stand up New York comic strip.
Starting point is 00:21:40 So like, I remember like, my favorite memory is, I got passed at the comic strip when I was 19, I got my first pay is like a Monday it's 25 bucks and my name was right under Louis C.K.s and I was a huge fan and so I'm looking at it and I was like he gets paid 25 bucks I get paid 25 bucks for the same and as I was going to the subway I was like oh my god we both got paid $25 and we're like a 20 year age to you know what I mean like it was just one of those things where I was super excited and then like logical Liz came in and we're like a 20 year age to you know what I mean like it was just one of those things where I was super excited And then like logical Liz came in and I was like what am I doing with my life?
Starting point is 00:22:09 This guy said the top of his game and we're both getting 25. It was crazy Like it was I it was so funny to me so early to be like this is not a lucrative career Well to me I was told the lucrative first when you first come in you're young Well, to me, I was told the lucrative first when you first come in your young They go like buddy. You don't even have to work past like if you just get 45 together and go do colleges You're gonna be great and then I got 45 together and I didn't realize that colleges are really you don't have to be clean They never don't want you to be dirty. Yeah, and whenever I do colleges, I'm like, you know, blah, blah, blah, black joke. And then they're like, boom.
Starting point is 00:22:46 And I was like, I guess I'm never going to make money because they were always like colleges that you make money. Yeah. $3,000. You can get $3,000 a night for doing these college. Yeah. And then Bill Burk. So quickly.
Starting point is 00:22:58 And then Bill Burk's thing was like, even though it was no, he wasn't drawing or anything because his act he did colleges, he was able to buy a apartment. Yeah. And based off of just like knack a stuff. Really? Yeah. That's when you got that. Yeah. The one that the Rosa lived in. Yes. Yeah. It was all like money. I slept on that couch very drunk before because of Joe the Rosa. Yeah. It's like money from the knack, but man, those I couldn't do it. I did college. That was the, that was how I first started becoming a full-time comic was like colleges and stuff. I had a college agent pretty young and like the thing is is that like I'm not dirty, but I'm not relatable. You know what I mean? Like they also don't tell you like I was I'd never lived a teenager's life. I was doing stand-up when I was 16. So like. Yeah, you heard all that
Starting point is 00:23:39 liquid ecstasy. Yeah, no, I was I was a drug addict. That is the problem with all of that is starting at 19, even 21 in some degree, but you did start 21 and you were like you really were you moved from home. You got to have like, you know, you were due to college experience. Like I was a babysitter for my brother and sisters for most of the time. My experiences were pretty common growing up for the most part. And then you're 19 like, like I'm funny, but I really you're drawing from zero life nothing that's all about oh so all I have was like dice clay was always made me laugh so I'd go do dirty stuff and then colleges are like you can't do that yeah yeah you can't open with an anal joke like oh
Starting point is 00:24:16 but I thought I mind-mind I'm like college we're all kids that's stupid right I'm gonna get laid a bunch not it was so the opposite the opposite. They never, sometimes they'd ask me to leave quickly after the show. I've never felt older than when I first got, I was probably like 20, 23 when I got my first college gig. So it's like two years replaced from college. And I was like, I'm gonna go, I was drinking, I was like, I'm gonna rip it up.
Starting point is 00:24:40 It's easy. Probably be at a house party or whatever. I never felt older. That was the oldest I've ever felt. When I went to go to stand up for college kids and I was like what's going on there like I don't know And I'm like am I oh no, I'm fucking old and I did okay got my money got the fuck out of there in a 25 year Almost now career. I've done my guess is 10 or less colleges. That's very low. Did you go to college? No Did you go to for a month? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:25:06 Colleges. That's very low. Did you go to college? No, did you go to I went for a month? Yeah, I finished shout out University of Arizona I went to the new school and like it wasn't a traditional college like I didn't take any math or something like I literally went for writing I read a bunch of books I wrote a bunch of essays and you can see what happened. You have a degree. I do But what do I got to do it? What is it associate bachelor's? It's a bachelor's in writing. I mean I did write a book No, yeah, yeah, yeah, it took like 20 years Where is it associate bachelor's? It's a bachelor's in writing. I mean, I did write a book. You can get it. And she did use your degree. Yeah, you did. It took like 20 years. I did call it my dad when I got my book published. I was like, I finally used my degree.
Starting point is 00:25:32 He's like, don't call me up and tell me that. Her book, this is book, Why Cats or Assholes is available on Amazon. I'll pick it up. Why, thank you. Yeah. But why I asked is like, not only did I, was I not living in, like I genuinely, like not only did I was I not living it like I
Starting point is 00:25:50 Genuine like third people in the city these half our community has known me since I was 16 years old And I would bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and all my school books and I would like hand out flyers at Ha And I would like do like the laugh lounge because I opened up around when I was 19 And I would do my homework and I would eat peanut butter and jelly and I would like do spots And then I would study in between sets like there's people. So I wasn't, I half the time all my friends that were like partying doing drugs, I was like, I would show up at one and they were all drunk and it wasn't fun and I would go back home. So even when I would do colleges, like I haven't lived this, I didn't even live a traditional life because I watched my siblings when I was younger.
Starting point is 00:26:20 So I was either watching my siblings or doing stand-up. And like I was actually just telling somebody recently, like, I did a lot of drugs and I drank a lot when I was a. So I was either watching my siblings or doing stand-up. And like I was actually just telling somebody recently like I did a lot of drugs and I drank a lot when I was a teenager because I was sad and that's what you're supposed to do. For sure. But I got into stand-up and that was really kind of cheesy enough what saved me. But I would go to these house parties when I was like 14, 15 years old and you know we just had one computer and one printer and I didn't want anybody to know I was writing jokes. So I'd go to a house party. All my friends are like having sex and doing drugs and I was like oh
Starting point is 00:26:44 sweet computer and I would type up my jokes and print them out. And people were like, are you having fun? I was like, yeah, I think I wrote three jokes. Like genuinely. Someone's in the backyard, like I just threw up in the backyard, Liz, what are you doing? And she goes, you know what's crazy is when you do walk in, they say that. That's gonna leave me. Well, we talked about this before I think on the show, it was funny to watch that thing of like my everyday friends. I was doing something so off the kind of books of what they were like, what you're doing comedy, but like the Eagles are playing Monday.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Do you know what I mean? Or like whatever. I was like, yeah, I'm going to go these open mics on a Tuesday night. It goes, that's 10 cent wing night over at blah, blah, blah. When we all watch this, you know what I mean? Or we all go here. You know what I mean? Or we all go here. We hang and they just drink and they just really didn't have any kind of.
Starting point is 00:27:28 So it was weird to like lose, again, not having experiences because I was doing comedy. Yeah. So you almost have to have start doing comedy and get out there and do it to have some like life experience. It's very interesting like I had a circle back from nothing because yeah, I'd go, my friends, it's funny watching them all move on and you're kind of like I don't even know what is I'm doing yeah Yeah, I'm not really moving on because I'm hanging out of the thing and they go you know, I was talking the Breakout last night my everyday friends like who would you go break guys a 45 year old black dude? I do comedy with
Starting point is 00:28:02 Are you 19? I'm like yeah, no, he's great though He's also you just use all name earthquake. You don't know earthquake old black dude I do comedy with him. Are you 19? I'm like, yeah, no, he's great though. He's good. It's also you just use all the earthquake. You don't know earthquake, like you're using. Dude, it was much sadder for me. Oh, I feel he has it. He goes, ah, do beefy funny.
Starting point is 00:28:12 He said the funniest thing yesterday. Do you go beefy funny? You're like, oh, he's the best dude. He's not a 40 year old black guy with freckles on his face. He's wild dude. I think he might be on drugs. Tucson was a sadder because I'd be at the University of Arizona And they'd be like we're gonna got this crazy party at SA what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:28:29 And you're like I'm opening for Marcelle the clown What was his name? He was there was a silent clown and his wife played the pickle out T.C. Hatter's they was T.C. Hatter and Marcee and and and they're like I'm featuring for him if T.C. Hattern. They was T.C. Hattern and Marcian. And they're like, I'm featuring for them if you want to come or whatever. It's a silent clown.
Starting point is 00:28:50 And as she lays a pic, it's a comedy act. Yeah. It's a clown act, I guess. Yeah. T.C. Hattern. T.C. Hatter. Hattern. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh What's crazy is he's jacked. I didn't know performing when I was in college I went I went back and he's he's in a clown. He's in like a big suit or whatever Have to be people try and try to try to kill you all the time. There it is dude
Starting point is 00:29:11 By the way that guy's jacked under he'd take his suit He looks like a big guy. Yeah, dude there it is and they were staying in the they were Clarinet. Oh, it is I don't want to fact check that was the piccolo. I swear it used to be the piccolo And I was staying the condo with them and be like, this is fucked up. This guy's got a dark past. Dude, I'm telling you right now, Jay,
Starting point is 00:29:30 when you saw his body and him out of the makeup, I was like, were you one of the guys in heat? Yeah. He looks like he's like a career at Dark Past, yeah. And so I would be like, because two songs, it was like a seerum. So you'd be like, yeah, you probably saw him on Showtime's Dearest Dozens back in in 86 and they're like, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:29:49 I'm going to go to start ranch and do cocaine. And you're like, okay, well, I'm going to be going to be going to guestsets for Tommy Davidson. It's also so weird that like you'll have these things that feel like accomplishments or you feel like you're leveling up or you're getting further and you feel like you have no one to share it with. Like you just, there's, I remember even just being like even just being oh no one understands the thing that goes, you know I did fucking ten minutes straight through tonight and they're like what yeah Ten whole minutes you go, you know fucking crazy it is to talk for ten minutes with nobody talking back to you You're just talking. They're not talking to you. You just talk that's nuts
Starting point is 00:30:22 But I think like any any kind of pursuit is like that like when you start doing something Yeah, not not only comedy, but anything when you start getting into it you're like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, what the fuck and you like look around and people like what are you doing? And you're like, I don't know because I remember before I got I was too big of a pussy to try to stand up and I would do I did radio I did like I worked at KFM. I should not KM it It is real thing. It is a real thing. It's a large outdoor concert in the Southwest.
Starting point is 00:30:47 And I would leave parties to go do overnight at the radio station. So they'd be like playing beer pong, and they'd be like, all right, I gotta go. And they're like, where you going? I'm like, 40 minutes nonstop near rock. Yeah, I'm just like, you see, you see what's that legal place?
Starting point is 00:31:02 You're gonna hear some system of it down in the Lincoln Park. It was like, I was like 19 when that was happening. So I get it, because all the 19 year old kids were like, oh, we're raging tonight. And I was like, I'm raging against the machine. And then I, it's a power. You know what I came to New York also,
Starting point is 00:31:15 that's the thing that's telling too, when I got here, I could have maybe done a life of like trains. I always drove, but like I could have done trains and drank more and do whatever, but my thing was also, my ex got pregnant with my daughter. My daughter is going to be 20 next month. So like, it's so old. It's crazy. It is. So I can't believe you're someone's dad. That's like more mind. Is a bell is a full of gold now, dude. I'm sure she's awesome. I remember as a bell being I remember is a bell being a little girl and
Starting point is 00:31:42 being amazed at me sitting on the floor. Tracking for car. Yeah cross, you know, she never forgets But I said having her so young like I had to go back my ex was in like law school at one point during that when she was little So when everyone was just getting done The shows and I would get done my last show and everyone's let's go to the bag it in yeah You look I can go back and go over and the thing it was yeah I was like I was like I got to take care of a kid all day tomorrow. And also I'm driving, so I can't really drink or anything. So, I think like about three years,
Starting point is 00:32:13 probably about three years into being in New York, was when I really started smoking weed a lot. Yeah, but I never did before. But I missed, so did you go back and forth from Philly? You started in Philly, right? At first, for like the first two years, and then I moved up after 9-11, because it was too hard to...
Starting point is 00:32:26 Because you were just like, what, all the terrorists? They forgot about me. No, it was taking nine hours to get here and home. It was just taking so long to drive. So yeah, circumcincts, I just moved up. But yeah, always having that responsibility too. I didn't, I missed out on a lot of experience of, because every like comics,
Starting point is 00:32:43 in especially in their 30s stories, are them fucking up in their 20s like drinking and the nights they got wild and did whatever. And through that, I didn't have it. I didn't have any of those things at all. So it was funny like to find those stories more like in my 30s and 40s where you're like, oh, we got fucked up last night at Pink Floyd Concert.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Are you talking a story from 1967? No, no, no, no, yes, today. When Jay moved into the city with me, it was like the first time I think ever in New York comedy that you weren't driving, and I started drinking again. And so there was like a good two or three years where we were just like fucking 21 raging again. I was fine.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Such a bad influence. I was fine. I hadn't had a development problem. I could still drink. I was fine. I was fine. I don't have any development problem. I can still drink to this day. Christine has a problem. Yeah, but when I like it's adorable. Jay doesn't drink the way we were drinking like I had Jay doesn't drink. Like he has like he'll drink like three shots and have a beer and like that's his night. When he was drinking with me, we'd
Starting point is 00:33:44 like do the shots and I want another shot and another shot later and then like more. I can't imagine what it's like. I still do this what you're saying. I still do what you're saying. I start with three shots over the course of the rest of the night. I'll do like up to like maybe three more, but if I start feeling fucking like, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:59 like oh shit, I'm like feeling it, I'll stop drinking. I don't have like, I don't go, we gotta arrive this, I don't have that gene. I'm also like, so I like smoked a lot and I drank stop drinking. I don't have like, I don't go. We got to ride this. I don't have that gene I'm also like so I like smoked a lot and I drank a lot when I was a teenager because I was sad like that's you know You just kind of self-medicate and then I got into comedy. I didn't do it. I just I found what I liked and then I don't I don't I haven't I think it's been over eight years. I stopped because of stomach issues, but I never was Weed I can't do because I have panic attacks. I really am actually very resentful that that got taken away from me because I never had a problem. I just push through it.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Dude, well, I start. That is the answer unfortunately. I have scary ones. No, like panic attack wall high is the worst thing that can ever happen because I've had panic attacks and I've been very high and freaked out panic attack. Those are like, but you know what? You have to have that. No, I don't like the way your eyes are looking at me. You're like literally looking at me like I didn't try hard enough. Go rough yourself. You have to, you have to push through. No, push through. I was like going to murder somebody. Liz. No, stop it. Don't murder anybody guys and get beyond Liz. I'm not gonna have you teach me to do drugs better. Liz.
Starting point is 00:35:04 I don't want to end up like you. Every Liz, every sea captain sees a storm as a new opportunity. You need to learn how to see, you see past the panic attack push. A full history. And that's also known as the fetal position. This panic attack right here.
Starting point is 00:35:22 You look at the throw it. We'll trick it a trade. You can nap right through those. No, no, I've I've woken up still having a panic attack right here A little trick of the trade you can nap right through those. Oh no, no, I've I've woken up still having a panic attack It's fucking like it's still happening We have to take him to the break we do should we say goodbye to lose? Yeah, so the buying instead of rushing it out. Yeah, Liz is new special the Ghost of Academic Future streaming now on YouTube. You can catch Liz on the road with dates coming up Long Island of Governors. You got the Moine Iowa, Rutherford, New Jersey Salt Lake City and Tampa for tickets in all other tour dates. Visit LizMeeley.com. That's M-I-E-L-E.com. And our book Why Cats or Assoles also available on
Starting point is 00:36:03 Amazon. Our old friend Liz Liz Mealy. Thanks guys. Our old young friend Liz Mealy. He's about to came here for the first time ever. Oh yeah, did 20th time. You know what? You're 20th appearance. This is a good, this is a really good premiere appearance for you. I think you have you back. Oh sweet. We're the same outfit just a really popular.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Liz Mealy everybody make sure you check it out and we will be right back to say goodbye. It's the bonfire. Mmm. Oh yeah. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!

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