The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Why Did You Bite Him?

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

The guys analyze a woman at a comedy club that decided to get on stage on behalf of the audience and lament their love of smoking cigs.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 mon...ths free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. Yeah, finally cool music from Seattle. Nothing more? Well I played it because Adam Corolla mentioned it. Alison James. Yeah. Oh you took him while to get there though. He's like, you know how vagabas it goes to guy, the Seattle guy who died.
Starting point is 00:00:23 You got that so lot. Yeah, you could pick one. Outside of Pearl Jam, you can pick one in every band. You know how vague it was, it goes to Guy, the Seattle guy who died. You got that so loud. Yeah, you can pick one. Outside of Pearl Jam, you can pick one in every band. Yeah, Pearl Jam had anybody die. They're not cool enough. Did they have anybody die? No.
Starting point is 00:00:34 We live forever. The drummer got fired, that's it. Right. Maybe he comes back with an AR-15 and fuckles. Why, that settles the score. Why'd they fire him? Even get along with Eddie, it was a dip shit. And it's what it'd be famous too much. Is it true that they fired him at the end of that song where you hear the drumsticks get thrown?
Starting point is 00:00:50 Reveal mirror. Reveal mirror. That's not true. No, he was fired before the next album of Itology. Okay. But Reveal mirror, that is, is that him throwing his drumsticks at the end? Because I pushed him so hard he got so many throws jumps against the wall and throw a little hissy fit. Is that a Reveal mirror? Yeah, I love that song. Yeah, at the end, where he's like, did you throw white? At the very end. They were pushing him to do better at drumming. Like, do better for this song, service it better. And finally, they pushed him so hard that he got to take
Starting point is 00:01:16 and threw the drumsticks at the end, and they kept them in because that was his best take. All right. Or they got them there. Fun fact, huh? Yeah, that is, Joe List told me that. It wasn't that he got fired it was that they were they he like didn't like the way he was playing on the song and pushed him till he Freak no no, they hated his personality. Oh cool Um, it is the bonfire is the lost tapes everybody
Starting point is 00:01:37 Call it what you will we call it the lost tapes Thursday And we're not here here. We're here now. Yeah, dude recording is for you then. Yeah, dude This is a live show. Yeah, Jay wasn't around today yesterday and he's back out of nowhere today somehow I made it work terminator timeline dude Kyle recent it Kyle recent it. I am currently as we speak in Montreal Decide the drive there. Oh there. Oh, they get wanting to switch flights and get me there like on a 6 a.m. flight. And I was like, if I go on a 6 a.m. flight, my days fucking whack down anyway. I leave at 8 o'clock, get there at 2 o'clock. You know, I mean, like I'll have like an hour or two, I can still close my eyes for a little bit, get ready and go. You also have your car.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Oh, my car there, yeah. But and then coming home is why I'm stoked to have my car. You can go whatever because yeah, I don't have to wake up at 3 a.m. because they're taking you to the airport at 3.30. With a bunch of other comics on that Sunday. And then that that that cattle line to get through customs. And then you know what the thing is, is festivals are very fun, especially in Montréal, but when you see other comics and festivals, it's great. The travel day home, you don't wanna have to have forced conversations.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Business talk. With a guy that lives in LA, that you're not gonna see again for two years, and you just have to stand through that whole security line, and he's like, can you believe so and so? That's where I've gotten into. There work by the way that's their fake friendships. They don't really like you're saying you're very right about that or else me and Chris Hardwick would be very close.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Me and Glenn Howard's in tennis from TV's always sunny. Oh, I didn't know you the Montreal comedy festival Waiting and just being it said it's that thing when I was out did the world stands up in England? Yeah. With all those comics out there, like I was rooting for every comic, like they were my brother. Just because you're on a team together and some thick, so you know what I mean? So like, when you're there, you're like, well, we all did this thing.
Starting point is 00:03:36 And then, like, whenever I see Sean Patton or his girlfriend, Kaitlyn, or Langston Kermann or Emmy Blotnik, I'm always like, Scotland, we made it through. Yeah. Because there is a point in every festival, no matter the length of the festival, there's a point where you're like,
Starting point is 00:03:49 I'm ready to go home. Yeah. And if you have that moment with someone else, it bonds you. Oh yeah. Where you're like, I want to go home too. I think long, huh? Hey, and you're like, did you do that show?
Starting point is 00:03:59 You're like, fucking suck. Yeah, how was your thing over there, Dennis, from always sending a Philadelphia? Yeah. We were friends through this line. Hey, Glenn Howardton Dennis from TVs always sending a photo. Hey, Dennis system. What part of the Dennis system is this friendship? He's like, okay, man, if you don't mind, I'm just trying to I go, I know I hate small talk bullshit conversations. They are reports to hey, Dennis. What's my like always sending
Starting point is 00:04:22 food off you? It's Charlie like actor Glenn Howard's in yeah, but no You got to keep him in his character the whole time. Yeah, I'm like poils like yeah, hey Dennis Dennis Dennis Dennis Dennis We answer my question like sitting behind him in first class. So Dennis Dennis See that flight I remember they got with Tyson the guy that was behind Tyson He's so funny. He goes Mike Tyson, he goes, hey, pussy. I feel like that's your instinct is to get a furious. Fuck you. I'm not letting it slip.
Starting point is 00:04:50 You know that Jacob? I think you're making a face that you never heard that. You didn't hear what happened? This drunk guy on a flight was behind Mike Tyson and annoyed him and pissed him off so much that Mike Tyson ended up beating the shit out of him on this airplane. Just recently. I don't like that. It's great.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Oh, you'll love it. Oh, show Jacob that video, please. I should have done that when I sat next to Samoa Joe. It's so great. Should have gone, you were better in Ring of Honor. He's like, what? I'm like, your your cobra clutch sucks. Yeah, look at this guy.
Starting point is 00:05:18 This guy is a dildo. There's so much of Mike Tyson, though. This shit crazy. Bro Mike Tyson. Dude, Mike Tyson, the first, the, it just jumps to the kick. So my time some boat this shit crazy Dude Mike Tyson the first It just jumps to get to cut to the first couple like the first three or four of my Tyson's going Oh, no, man. It's nice to meet you. I'm just trying to watch this movie. He definitely did too Yeah, you should know for my time because okay, man Yeah, I appreciate it man if you could sit down. I'm trying to watch hook
Starting point is 00:05:44 It's with Dustin Hoffman in the late great Robin Williams. Can you please let me watch this movie on that? And then we got pistols. We found that it wasn't hook. It was pan. He goes, I was watching. Oh my God. This is it. This is about the creation of you. The pan. He's punched the screen. Yes. Everybody gets a little piece. Or the guy leaned over him. Anyway, I heard Robin Williams died choke jerk and he went okay That's this enough. Okay hang on pause pause that pause now give it somebody. Excuse me. I'm gonna take some out of you. Sweet UCF Yeah, he just beat it What looks like another lawsuit for black
Starting point is 00:06:21 And my bike, come on. He go again. What looks like another lawsuit for a black man. I'm according to TMZ, they're saying that Mike Tyson loss is cool or fight to happen on an airline TMZ with same day. I will say that kids too young and stupid to get though. I will say in his life, God forbid it happened to you. You know yourself, but you will always be able to say, because remember that's a quite, that's up there with would you suck a cock for a million dollars?
Starting point is 00:06:48 Is that my ties? Would you let my ties and punch you for a million dollars? Because you're like, it's, it's could very possibly kill you. Can you look at that? Or change the rest of your life? But I mean, like this guy is clowning around still after taking those shots. So you're like, you know what dude?
Starting point is 00:07:01 I got punched by my ties and he's like, still awake. Well, I keep thinking about is him being drunk and waking up and being like, did I get Mike Tyson to punch me on a flight? He was, what happened to my eye? He goes, shop, do you remember? Sean, you don't remember? He's like, what? I guess he goes, I remember there was that hot flight attendant. And then she said she was making, she was like, poor the drinks heavy and she did. And then I was watching hook. And I passed out. You said that Peter McNeely could have owned him with me today.
Starting point is 00:07:29 And he goes, McNeely, I'm not even a white fighters. You started grabbing your ears and saying, chomp on these, you psycho. Why did you have to bite him, you pussy? Is what you said several times. You also said, custom auto deserved death? You deserved what he did. That deserved what he's not yeah, man That's like one of those ones were you or is this the guy that did it?
Starting point is 00:07:52 Oh, he spoke after the main He's a lawyer what a pussy fucking jerk off Our client is a big Mike Tyson fan. The attorney says, from Morgan and Morgan, when Mike Tyson boarded the plane, he became overly excited. At first, their interaction was cordial. At a certain point, Mr. Tyson clearly became agitated by the overly excited fan and began to strike him in an excessive manner. So he's, he's based, the lawyer is spinning it like, this guy was just pumped to see Mike Tyson This guy's doing that my Tyson Turned on that thing
Starting point is 00:08:28 That he encouraged in the ring this monster Turned around and hurt my client my poor client my sweet little baby boy This little baby boy. I think And really Mike Tyson's like yeah, he called me the N where it about three times then So I turned around and we had to punish him with the fourth of God. It's really yeah, it's such a weird like That's it's not victim blaming is the wrong word for it. It's just like to spin I say it's the this is this guy's defense is the I got kicked out of the comedy club for laughing. I was helping the show Yeah, you know, that's what it is. Oh, I guess you can't laugh. I guess they kick you out for laughing
Starting point is 00:09:05 Sorry, sorry. You're the first person that have been removed for laughing at a comedy or this I was agreeing with your jokes Yeah, they don't I was answering every hypothetical and rhetorical question you were asking those motherfuckers You still get them ever God won this weekend. Yeah, there was a drunk married lady who was God won this weekend. Yeah, there was a drunk married lady who was Feeling good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've finally psyched on herself. I've had a bunch of really help everybody hated her That's what I'm always taken by is when no one feels Them hating them. Have you, Christine bring up the great audio? Have you ever seen the a-fee? We watched that the a-fee on Crockett thing where the girl gets on stage. Have you ever seen that? that no the lady gets on stage and the audience is
Starting point is 00:09:46 booing her relentlessly and she still going like whatever she says that you're saying these terrible things like nobody wants to hear it who's a fiancrocket a black circuit comic against his own wild and i think for a while i know black little right this guy uh... did you show down with the brothers guys i don't know if you know i have to put a little bit of a younger Um, oh, did you sew down with the brothers? Guys, I let him I asked but who made a face at you? Um, no, if you on Crockett, but he's a little bit of a younger
Starting point is 00:10:09 I have yeah, I have I know he was he's like, but he's totally down with him. He's MTV. Oh, that's my man. He's MTV famous, but he's a player there slick Townsend Give it a here Jack. Now you listen here Jack. Um, he's very talented sketch guy. I donT. No, sir. No, sir. Give it a hear, Jack. Now, you listen here, Jack. He's very talented sketch guy. I don't know his comedy, though. I know his face. I don't know his comedy at all, but whatever his comedy is, it's insane what this lady does.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Jumping on stage. And the crowd's booing around. She just does like the white lady like, you guys agree with me? She just living in a world like, you guys all are with me. White lady force field is one of the most powerful force fields I really is dude what they conjure up whatever whatever dark arts they use to get their white lady force field and they got a more door shield This one is one to cover your whole body things I check from flying arrows take this the eyes of a raven in the shod and of nay. So you take this Pinot Noir. And they drink it and they're like,
Starting point is 00:11:06 I'm just saying how I feel about the situation is just how it is. So. Yeah, it was this comedy zone Charlotte too. That clubs have it a rough time, huh? I mean, yeah, because Craig Robinson will get to that after this. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I'm there soon. I mean, Andy Fiori will be there soon. So they got to bring a F a fury with me. Thank God He's gonna bring a pack like Rambo. Oh for sure I'm like hey Fury because that guy won't make it out there. Fury wears both actual guns. Fury has Fury's head is his face like all in the fucking brush and he goes hey, yeah, I was like hey Fury Good said how are they? He's like they're good. They're a little tight on the left. I'm gonna go get the birds nests He's just up into fucking sniper. Oh, he's just up there the sniper rifle waiting for his rifles painted camouflage
Starting point is 00:11:51 They go I wanted to say hi to fury. I go. He's coming down. He's up in the You gotta go. I'll get him for you Oh, Tango tango Omega and he comes off the wall Tango, Tango Omega and he comes off the wall. He goes, he goes, he goes, I hadn't heard that YouTube joke. That's how you're saying? That was good. Because is that new? Hey man, nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Oh yeah. We'll talk about the Craig Robinson show, but watch this. This lady, it's so funny. Why she thinks, I'm always taken back by their lack of discomfort or about shouldn't you be embarrassed? Yeah, dude. I mean, when you get on stage and the crowd's going, no, boo, or talking in the audience. That's why you never said, boo, boo.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And they're just, they're just, they're just doing, they're like, dude, but dude, but they do some dumb fucking old lady to wedding dance. Because they can't, what it is is if they did acknowledge the embarrassment, their brains would leak out of their ears. If they really took the time to be like, I keep being disconnected as always finding
Starting point is 00:12:50 a funny one saying an older adult, too, you're like, you know what really makes me mad? So weird, you don't understand, see what's happening here. It's such a bizarre thing. I always like, again, anyone older than me, particularly when in the act like that, you're like, I'm blowing away. I still always put the such value in like age.
Starting point is 00:13:05 And someone being older, like you probably know better than me. The way I mean, I don't want to listen to a 23 year old. Even though it's the right thing, I'd rather an older person tell me what to do with crypto than a 23 year old. Even though it should be the opposite, I just think the older person's like,
Starting point is 00:13:18 ah, here's why it's all bullshit. I'm like, I'm probably with you. How do you do taxes? Yeah. The way to really drive at home with a drunk person being kicked out is because you can do the thing where you're like, when you kick him out, you're like, the rest of the crowd wants you gone
Starting point is 00:13:29 and they cheer. Yeah. They don't acknowledge that. It's pretty, it's pretty immature to do this, but it's fun and I did it in Providence. If you get the whole crowd to sing the na na na na, hey hey. I was just gonna start doing that like as a joke, but yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:13:41 I got him to do it. And I'm like, they're singing because they're happy you're leaving leaving so acknowledge that tomorrow morning when you wake up. I do get the road. That's here. That's your style. I'm not gonna step on your toes. Hit the road, Jack. Don't you come back no more no more no more. Hit the road. That is more fun. And then Justin Popsie goes what he saying? Hit the road, Jack. Don't co-bex Justin in his line of dancing dogs Boys let's show him what it's just and then the mutts But the ass is a Z and they dance No more now sit stay
Starting point is 00:14:21 Playing pause play em off oh shit let's watch the play a little if you on crocket but I like paus it also broke like it is because it is they have to use a white lady against a white lady oh yeah it's in her magic is too strong I think it's a manager it's uh yeah first of all the effects she got on stage and it's like okay is such a white lady thing
Starting point is 00:14:43 do you like she's holding her hands like she's at a town hall. Yes, she thinks she's speaking on behalf of the audience. Like she can't, she's not even drinking in with that. That's what I've always found funny when someone goes like, I'm waiting for a joke, you suck, and you're like, out of the gates, you could definitely hammer somebody with that if they're bombing.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Of course. It's a brush, it'll crush them. But it's funny when, what they don't realize what you're like you realize you're in a very small Minority of people who are hating this and rather than excuse yourself. Let them enjoy you just you just acknowledge And that's why they don't she doesn't understand why they hate them. It's like you're also saying like if you like him You're wrong, but I don't even you guys don't like him. You hate him read your son too never interrupt your enemy when he's making mistakes If he's fucking if he's bombing just leave just leave and you're gonna hurt it more than no No, you don't need if you heckle if you say I'm waiting for a joke you suck when someone's bombing
Starting point is 00:15:38 You that's gonna hit like thunder. It's gonna crush the common. It's funny when I'm saying when you're killing Yeah, dude or even just doing really good. And someone goes, you suck, get off the stage. You go, it's, you just already know. It's like you just called out like everyone's not laughing. Also when you know. Pointing that to the audience is one of my favorite things ever. When you see this person, it's calling all of you stupid fucking idiots.
Starting point is 00:15:57 That's your laughing at this. And it makes them more angry at them. I was like that joke years ago. If you're not laughing, you think I mean it's the truth. If you're not laughing, you think I mean it's the truth Yeah, if you if you're not laughing you think I mean this and I don't mean this if you're looking at me like artistly It's also funny when it's clearly personal At laugh Boston there was a Christmas party and they were like drunk and they left and they like like billions hands Yeah, they don't fucking know they don't listen to the bonfire. They don't know my comedy
Starting point is 00:16:24 They just know me from TV and they're like, we're gonna see the TV guy. He'll talk about Paul Puran, he's on Yonkel Tom, fuck this guy was gonna be rad. And then they like, Winton did shots and came back. But it was like, I was 10 to 15 minutes in
Starting point is 00:16:38 and the crowd was awesome. You were a jookbox. And then they started talking and I was like, are you guys, you guys got that Christmas energy party, or Christmas party energy. You don't wanna be at a comedy club. You wanna be at a bar. What are you guys doing?
Starting point is 00:16:49 And then the lady was like, what are you guys doing? You're like marketing. I was like, ew, ew, just making fun of them. I'm like, do you have a slick way to spin this? And then this guy goes, right better jokes. And I was like, oh, you're just mad that I'm making fun of what you,
Starting point is 00:17:02 like it's clear you're just mad at me. Cause he was in that group. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. And'm making fun of what you, like it's clear you're just mad at me. Cause he was in that group. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. And then when you say that, when you can tell someone to leave, Patrice, that was the first time I ever saw it happen, where he's like, I'll pay for your bill, get out of here.
Starting point is 00:17:14 It's the coolest move in the world. Cause you're going like, I'll take care of that. So this doesn't come out of your pocket, leave. You're not having fun and they're like, but you're supposed to want me to like you. And you're like, yeah, I don't fucking care. I think you suck. And then that's when and they're like, but you're supposed to want to want me to like you. And you're like, yeah, I don't fucking care. I think you're suck. And then that's when they're always like,
Starting point is 00:17:29 I like telling them whether they're leaving because usually it is the case. How much do you say you guys know? As they're walking out, I just see another club wanted to kick you guys out on the last comic. I said, no, I can make them leave. Yeah, you did the whole, I stood up for you.
Starting point is 00:17:42 But I stood up for you. No, no, no, not now. I'm just saying, like, as they're walking out feeling like they're doing like the, yeah, but we're out of here. I go, just, you know, like they, we're going to kick you out. It's usually true. I go, they were going to kick you out like a half hour ago, but I said, leave them there. I'll make them to leave.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Yeah, so you're actually fulfilling my promise. Yeah, so good job, everybody. To like, I'm, I'm fucking up the show and you're like you're actually doing exactly what I wanted to do. The one, Christine, were you there for that? The one in Providence? When I told him, I go, you guys don't stop or something. You're gonna be like, you're not gonna make it
Starting point is 00:18:15 20 minutes into the show. And then like when the last one, they left like in like three and then five more left and every time they were walking up someone tried to say something smart ass. And then when the last one goes out, it was close whatever it was it was like 1936 fucking wow we did it they didn't make it 20 minutes it was something like yes there was some awesome like fun fact just happened to work out that I made it some random time of like they'll
Starting point is 00:18:38 be out of here and they were out of there like in that like exact time I would love a reality show that follows people after they're kicked out of a comedy club. I would love a reality show that follows people after they're kicked out of a comedy club. Where they go? Do they go to a bar? Do they go to their house? And just like give interviews, just like angry interviews. And then the rest of the show should be the same film crew
Starting point is 00:18:56 comes over the next morning. And then they're like, how do you feel? And if they're still like, they're still heat, or if they're like, I don't know, I gotta stop drinking when I go out. Or like if the they're like, I don't know, I gotta stop drinking when I go out. Or like if the wife is like, I made a mistake, I thought he said something and I really wanna like see that documented.
Starting point is 00:19:14 How about someone being removed and go like, I was a fan bro, it's like, you're not now because you're being removed because you're a problem. Yeah. Because I mean, thought you were cooler than that. Thought you would mind if I came and threw up in the front Well much my girlfriend. Yeah, you've been out if I threw a drink it you cuz you said mom's dead bud. Yeah
Starting point is 00:19:32 Damn dude, you're you're fucking lame. You're a tart. Yeah, dude fucking lame asshole. Let's see this lady speaking lame assholes Hey, fiat crop That hosting really wants to get off the stage This might be Jacksonville Posit that is Jacksonville but pause it because that manager right. Mm-hmm that manager when I was down there last time They were I was trying to tell them like they have a nice room that jacksville. It's in a shit Motel mm-hmm, but it's a it's a really good room. It's shaped well. It's just set up good Mm-hmm, and she was manager and I was just like she's 20 like three or something and I go I think I was coming on like public Francisco. You got that or something. And I go, I figured it was coming.
Starting point is 00:20:25 I'm like, Pablo Francisco, you got that one coming. I go, that's a wild card, huh? She goes, I've never heard of them. And I was like, well, she goes, I know nothing about comedy. And she's like in charge of like the thing, like the promotions. And it was insane.
Starting point is 00:20:39 When you're on the road, and you say, like, no, but she goes, she goes, no, I go, she had the job for like three months three months and she's like, I'm going to do just like four more months And I'm going to go back to school or some shit like that like when you see someone that's completely apathetic and it's just like a restaurant job to them It's the best because it takes away any of your like You ready to see a fun show they're like I don't care what you do And you're like do the seven month. Oh Someone with a career plan of working there for seven months, passing her failing young
Starting point is 00:21:08 comics to come through is wacky as shit. It's crazy. Or you know giving the go ahead and goes this guy's been doing, you know, the Asda managers who's doing good or whatever is there. She's like, I don't know anything about, she goes, she was sweet. She's very sweet. It's not her fault. I'm like, why would the hire someone who says, Alex, she goes, I know nothing about,
Starting point is 00:21:25 I don't know any of it. The apathy is so funny. And they're just like, yeah, I don't really care. And then they just fucking, it's like, and then like, they're impressed with you, but they're impressed with you in a way they're impressed with a Habbachi chef. Yeah, like, that was a thing.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Oh, it was a cool onion volcano. All right, well, anyways, I gotta go study for my test and you're like, this is my life's work. Oh, yeah, dude, a mad jurist like really involved in other things. Yeah, my god, dude. I love it There really is something so funny because All the great comedy managers that you know for the years and years they some mostly He's no I like I've grown like Scott a lot and by the way, it's like he manages a comedy club and fishes for steelhead Tells me about his fishing every time we hang out.
Starting point is 00:22:06 I don't know, God damn thing about it. Dude, he knows when I go to Cleveland, I want some cornies. Slimeins. I want some slimes in the morning and I'll be fucking super easy. You know, I'm gonna be smoking a joint and back by the dumpster.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Not bother, anyway. Yeah, I go out back and smoke. I eat a nice, I mess up a nice meal sometimes. But they like, they still like comedy and Nick the owner is amazing. You know, come by and be like, I would a great week or whatever. But when you see these, like, these people that are just like, Oh, this is a temporary stop. I don't give a shit about any of this. And you're like, so when Jay, Jay's basically like an old fisherman, warning her of a storm that's named Pablo Francis. And she could
Starting point is 00:22:44 be a phenomenal weekend. The guys finally talented. Hey, or it could be like Something like this were Jesus tying his boat to the dock and she's there and he gone you've got Pablo Francisco coming that could be a bad one Hill and I don't care. I'm meeting. I'm gonna go find fish in the sea Hill sometimes the sea doesn't want you to find fish She's so funny. She's in this she's in this video. She's got to stop a drug Where though good for a gentleman there be a man trying to get her off she walked off Yeah, yeah, she does just give up
Starting point is 00:23:20 You just watch her go like my tried. Yeah, you're not wrong. She does not care about this You just like you just watch her go like my dried. Yeah, you're not wrong. She does not care about this Sweetheart though. It's comedy. I think it's like that's the best when you just see that it's you know If you got a whole story She's like her parents like she has to go back to college or something most business like this her year of like You don't want a whole staff of like hardcore comedy fans like I when I was hiring you kind of what you know Like dancer girls girls have their own thing going on. Yeah, you know, you can't have like all the put a pen in this, but he needs somebody that knows what's up. Put a pen in something I want to say just a topic I need to remember because I didn't want to think they didn't write down,
Starting point is 00:23:57 but I knew I'd remember that I almost forgot is some city has officially made a shift of police work the entire shift is females we will get to that let's finish this a fjong crime yeah also that's a I mean we may have even talked about it earlier this week but like it would that's a that's crazy yeah we're gonna absolutely talk about I wrote it down so we won't forget it um my favorite is there's this waitress at the stand that works there now that I was like just bullshit with or whatever I'm like yeah fucking gotta watch another one of these shows, huh? It's like that and she goes yeah, I'm funnier than everybody. I've seen you're like wow. I don't think that's true They're also not supposed to say stuff like that to the cops
Starting point is 00:24:36 But she said that she said that and I was like I'm stuck She said that and I wanted to be like do you want to do five minutes? Because I really want to see because what if she's right? What if she's right? What if she just goes up and just fucking levels the room and you're like, that's some of the greatest comedy I've ever seen in my life. There's a way you can get a person who's heckling and come on stage and humiliate themselves and don't microphone doing comedy, but when it's done, like in desperate, like anger at an audience member, whether it's like, it's new
Starting point is 00:25:03 comics always. I'm sure I said at one point But just someone's being and you're trying to get the crowd to have like more like oh for you Yeah, and you know that's that's the early one fix is always sort of that you're almost gonna rope a doping Yeah, when you draw somebody in but that fucking like oh man the two rules you never bring them on stage or I don't know about but you never give them you never hand them the microphone It does change a lot when you hand the microphone, but let's just they're like they're like you're getting that shit back But just like say that when that thing I'm like why don't you get up here? Yeah, if you think it's so easy to do this
Starting point is 00:25:33 And the person you are is really going like well, I never said I can do it Like I just do a valid argument. I just said you can't do it. Yeah, because I'm being a possible I'm being one of the possible problems you might encounter and open my comedy and You're not handling it well. Yeah, you're gonna get mad at stop signs if you're learning how to drive Why don't you get up here and try to go? I don't think I'm that funny. I think I'm funnier than you Yeah, that's why but I don't think I would be good at this that John door Rory Scoville bit on Conan was perfect Where he's like, why don't you get up here and it's Rory Scoville? But he goes up and starts doing stand-ups and then John door to Conan's like what do you think and. He's like, why don't you get up here and it's Rory's gobble, but he goes up and starts doing stand-ups. And then John door to Conan's like, what do you think?
Starting point is 00:26:07 And then Conan's like, well, you think you can do this and they all move down the desk. Does it Rory's go like playing a security guard or something? Yeah, you like he starts, no, he's an audience member. I think. And then he moves and does the stand-up. You just get the all are making fun of how he, yeah. And then they like so funny. And then they all move down the thing into where it's, I think it's like John door interview. It's like, Doer interview it. It's like John is in the Conan seat,
Starting point is 00:26:27 Rory's in the Andy seat, and then like Conan, and yeah, it's fucking great. Cause they also do the duel where they're dueling jokes, where they're doing like, oh we accidentally booked this at the same time. Yeah. So Rory and John do their sets at the same time. I think that's what this is here.
Starting point is 00:26:43 That's what you're saying. Which is very funny, but then he does those sets the same thing. Oh, you think you can do this? Because they used to do that live. Yeah, that's it. Where John Doar at a live show would just be doing stand-up and Rory would be in the crowd,
Starting point is 00:26:54 and he'd be like heckling them. And then John Doar would be like, well, you think you can do this and Rory's a phenomenal comedian. So he would just go up and kill. And then everyone would be like, what the fuck? But if you knew, it worked because if you knew who Rory Skoval was, it was even funnier. And if you didn't know him, you were kind of like, oh, this guy's killing, this guy can
Starting point is 00:27:12 do it. Let's watch the end of this. Like, we haven't gotten to the lady when the crowd doesn't like her and she just doesn't feel it. Well, go back a little bit because go back to like 25 second. Yeah, that's fine. Because I want to see her bail. She's like, lady, this is a temp job. I need you to get off stage
Starting point is 00:27:27 Because the audience pretty bad. I'm gonna kill this black motherfucker. He's like all right. I'm out Okay, you know what I'm going back to school in the summer. So we're in Florida. Stay in your ground state She's like well, I'm not here. What do you want to know? You know you're a woman. We know you're a woman. You can't tell me. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:27:56 How? How do I insult people by talking about sexual matters between adults? I'm talking about the same thing the window. I'm talking about the sitting adult scene. I have sex with women. Even if you're talking about not consenting adult, what does that mean? What is your problem when you go like, you're offending people. It's like the crudges booge you for saying that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're wrong.
Starting point is 00:28:19 It's there impervious to it. She's like simple man. I have a white woman shield. Pervious to write work for that impervious Yeah, okay, but I'm also terrible with words. Yeah, but I'm gonna go with you. Okay Blindly in the blind dude. Yes, let's get into it impervious. Yes, absolutely Dude nailed it signed off dude. I'll co-sign your loan. So meet me up here describing my life. Is it something to you? How can you speak for the whole crowd?
Starting point is 00:28:55 Tell me that I'm in the assaults. Who have- is anybody in assaults? It's at that moment, it's at that moment she knew she fucked up. She knows she's fucked up right now because I think you're wrong Are you sure cuz she like tried to she was like Even the point you're wrong. That's the point I'm making is that's moment right there You think she would be like they're not she just like they're just saying this cuz they feel bad for you Do you know I mean she's she's she thinks she's steering the ship here completely.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Watch. Down in the ass over here. We're sounding a creepy- The tone her to get off stage to staff, she's just not. There's several staff members on stage. Not she refuses. She's like, don't touch me. Don't touch me. She looks like a lady whole Cogum
Starting point is 00:29:47 Bye Karen I'm out of Karen Could have made it could have made way funnier. I hate to say I got too serious on the stage Welcome if I said something about my life. All right sit on down Joe Clark She she was so drunk that she just kept doing the confused like she doesn't know how she got up here Is this I how did I get here? I was in a DSW shoe words because at one time we're at Apple bees and then we're having their July coconut frozen margaritas. I bet this drugs and hooker motel Yeah, I will I make a left. I met this drugs and hooker motel.
Starting point is 00:30:25 And I make a left, I mean, a goddamn comedy show. I know I'm sitting through a guy talking about being from Jacksonville, the MC set. Yeah. The next thing I know, there's a different guy out there. Start talking about, I don't know, so there's like an Arby's where they're always shooting it up over on Mulhei.
Starting point is 00:30:40 I'm coming down, and I'm coming down hard. So I get a couple of Don Rickles those are I have the zaps That's Kaluha And I got a don Rickles in an Eddie Marquil Rita's yeah, I got a don Rick Rita Man when they just take dead legends and name cocktails. Oh my god They're even like fucking clever with it on anymore like Andrew dice martini Did I even like fucking clever with it anymore like Andrew dice martini?
Starting point is 00:31:08 Dude the Bernie Mac and cheese It's always the Bernie Mac and cheese and you know that they penned it being like so shit got it Oh my god, it's pretty terrible. Like a penne and teller? No. Dude, can I get a bottle of the Billy Kristall? Say it as you pop it, he goes, you look marvelous. You look marvelous.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Say with feeling. Say it. You look marvelous. Say with feeling. Say you look models. Thank you. Yeah, they always do every city. Whenever I see it, I'll just immediately toss the menu when it's like, you know, I said before we were a poor. And tell it. Yeah. Tell you the Laugh House made for a little while, they had a big J. Meatloaf or a Meatball parm sandwich that I'm like, that's not really something at all. My thing at all. Do you have cheese takers, stromola?
Starting point is 00:32:13 Oh, you know what? I swear to you. I've told the story a lot in my life. And it just hit me right now. Meatball fat. Got it. Didn't get that at first. Now it all hit me.
Starting point is 00:32:23 No, no. Oh, that all hurts retroactively. Oh, no Rebecca I'm the worthy of love of a fat meatball part. No, you're not you're a tasty meatball part I'm a fat meatball part Jacob wouldn't even eat me because you do meat and cheese Yeah, Jacob you made Jay feel bad now cuz you're diet choices well No, I just found out the black comedy club. I started I was calling a fat meatball There I tell you what we should name the sandwich after that meatball white boy Yeah, I tell him a shit looks like three meatballs under a motherfucking sweater. I'm there was some cheese on it too
Starting point is 00:32:57 Yeah, put those five meatballs in a food who sweatshirt He's meatball porn Who's switch here? He's Meatball Palm. I'll be Meatball Palm shooting in my black collar. I wish I could go back in time. Dude, if you're Meatball Palm, it'd be Meatball Palm until I do a hard turn to Jay Okerson. And you have to ask several people to stop calling you Meatball Palm.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Yeah, that's the best part. He was Meatball, he goes, dude, dude. Dude, I'm Jay Lee, you said that. This is the mainstream clubs. Guys, hey, this is the comic strip. I'm gonna need you to call me Jay Okerson. Do me a favor? Yeah. And the host goes y'all ready for your closer me Jay
Starting point is 00:33:31 Okay, sorry It's so funny. I'm so accepting of someone's wacky nickname and then when you're the asshole for still calling them that I Went too long with mad dog. Yeah, I still think I call them the dog when I see them. So do I. Mad dog. It's gonna slip up. Why did I slip up? I was told by him to call him at first. When I saw sauce in LA and I was like, what's up, sauce? He's like, it's David. And you're like, okay. Bobby Kelly had a moment where he was like, I'm Robert Kelly and made it a real thing. When he called me for it's over now for the first and that's over now thank God because in fact I want a heavy call about it. So I was
Starting point is 00:34:09 like do you remember you bullied all the two we were younger comics and afraid of you and you like don't call me fucking Bobby dude I swear to God that was the right when I started opening for him yeah because he like the Rosa recommended me to him and he called me and he's like because he like the Rosa recommended me to him and he called me and he's like He's just dance out and I was like, yeah, he's like this is Robert Kelly. I go. Oh Bobby Kelly and he was Robert Kelly And I was like okay, I was terrified of him I'm silly bird Billy bird had a hard that was a hard like well He's got me billy anymore his old headshot at the seller says Billy bird. Yeah, yeah But when they only when they don't need to do it anymore. And dude and like dude, come on with that
Starting point is 00:34:48 already goes I'm you told me to say the other thing was like someone told me your name's fuck face. And you're like no, it's Jim. And I started going hey, fuck face because I would know it's not fuck. Do you know what you responded to Billy and Bobby for so long? We should ask Florentine at what do you stop being jamming Jim? Oh, yeah, because he was jamming Jim's Florentine jamming Jim Florentine that does not make the long term Blessing for coming out of that that's a good one. Damn dude coming out of that is tough We forget my years as me Paul par
Starting point is 00:35:19 Back when you're at the laughhouse as me Paul parmed do I started in two so I Doesn't roll bad. How's the Gringo Cabesa in Tucson? That was my, the American head. Yeah, that was the, but dude, in real life when that happens, it's funny. I grew up with this kid, Nick, Nicholas, but he went by Nicky.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Yeah. And then like, we stopped hanging out in Heistville. And then like, he was tough. He was a tough kid. Yeah. And then like, we stopped hanging out in high school. Yeah. And then like, he was tough. He was a tough kid. And then we were like, Well, I can show, I know, I've Nikki boys before you. But then I was like, hey, Nikki.
Starting point is 00:35:53 And he's like, it's Nick. And he could fight. So immediately, you're like, yeah, it's Nick. It's totally Nick. Yeah. I was gonna call you Nicholas. I was gonna give you the full Christian. There's Jam and Jim.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Do the head shot as wild. Great. That is great. Do you know that, Blacklee? Oh my God. That is head shot up at the strip still. There's jam and Jim. Do the headshot is wild. That is great. You know that blackling? That is headshot up at the strip still. Yeah. Jam and Jim for team. Jam and Jim. It's great. He's just jam and Jim. Yo, I should go do amateur anything Apollo. As me ballpark. Y'all give it up for me ballpark. And do your old act. Well, no, I went on right in new black comedy club acts. Just crush. Huh?
Starting point is 00:36:28 Of course, because the black blue and I were talking about, we never did the tournament of panders. We never did the panda bear tournament. Oh yeah. We gotta have Boston for that. Yeah, for sure. We'll do it when you get back from Montréal. Oh, Montréal?
Starting point is 00:36:42 And then Montréal. I'm there right now. Probably nuts deep into a poutine right now. That's that's kidney French Canadian fries with Gravy Jacob. Jacob doesn't really travel my cultured asshole. I uh yes Jacob that's what French Canada is all about. Gravy fries. I need an expectation and I'm very excited. I'm so jealous. Oh, expectations, the one by the hotel. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:08 I love expectations. Do you really? Yeah. It's just like a diner. It's fine. That's our first date. Oh my God. She's not wrong.
Starting point is 00:37:15 It was. Expectation was where I met up with this management because they did new faces. I did unrepped. I won't be honest. There's a, there's a nastrix. I did new faces unrepped.repped, I won't be honest. There's a nastrix. I did new faces unrepped, so it was all about just trying to get management and these corny ass LA people were like,
Starting point is 00:37:31 let's meet at like 10 in the morning and I was so hungover from working. And I went and I was like, I didn't like them at all and I just ordered a beer and a shot, because I was, you know, and the lady goes, that's fun, I'm gonna have a bloody Mary watching the LA into your drinking problem. That's fun. I always think of that stupid lady. That's fun. That's fun and it's like. I'm gonna throw up in that plant over there.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I'm trying not to get sick. Yeah. I'm doing this, so I don't throw up in front of you. But expectation, you know, the food's all right. I've been at it. It's great. It's good. It's good. I know. It's just emotional for her. Yeah, she's got an attachment to it. Yeah, the first time she went there, my scus was all over her belly. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And I had interrupted trying to get my carton of smokes for you. That was the same year. Yeah, I think she texted you to come up. It was to get, and I needed my cigarette. No, I needed my cigarettes from you because you bought me cigarettes at the duty free, flying up, and I ran out of cigarettes, and you're like, I'll get you cheap cigarettes,
Starting point is 00:38:37 and then I couldn't get a hold of you because you were trying to hook up with Christine. So I texted Christine, and I was like, hey, I need my cigarettes. And she's like, come up here and get them. And I was like, that's when I opened the door. And it was like, Benny Hill, you guys were like running all over the room. But, but a fresh pack of smokes, I miss it.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Getting a fresh pack. I still get the feeling when I put a like new cartridge in. Yeah, you know, I get it. But man, open in a fucking full pack of smokes. Christine's gonna grab me a cart on her way up. Yeah, hell yeah. I'm gonna get a cart on my way up. Christine grab a cart and live in that cart in life Oh, yeah, there's no duty free driving through
Starting point is 00:39:28 Yeah, there is you can yeah, it's like but it's like but there's no other exits. Oh, okay. It's like a duty free thing Yeah, for sure. I didn't know that but you have to go in yeah, yeah, it's in the roadside, but how do you prove it? Huh you just show me your American? Oh You like duty free like driving is different because like duty free flying but how do you prove it? You just show him your American. Oh, you have to go to the bathroom. Like, duty free, like driving is different. Because like duty free flying, and it'll be like, it's like 300 yards from the border. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:54 You know what I mean? Are you excited to go back? You haven't been back to Montreal since 2019. No. Not at all. Yeah. Oh, you're hosting the nasty show. It's so exciting.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yeah, it'll be fun to host the nasty the nasty show, I think great lineup Bobby Kelly Yameneca Josh out of Myers Sophie buttle Sophie buttle rules it's gonna be fun It's gonna be good at Lisa Trigger. I feel like she never looks forward to festivals, but has a good time at them I would say he's at he's in his element in the festival. I don't think so at all. I think so Christine. Keeps tell me I always have a great time But it's not right. It's time. Is there are they doing the jam? One but I'm not doing it. It's outside. It's during the Nancy show. I think Josh isn't on that Nancy show that night
Starting point is 00:40:38 They put him out in the old He's on the outside jam. Oh, the one you did when you didn't nickel back big big one. Yeah, that's fun. That is fun. I wish I could have done it But you know, I have duties. You gotta host that nasty. No, that's nasty I got to work. You think they're still gonna have the same security that they had like you know, because you made friends with all those guys Do they change? Oh? No, I mean almost the band and everything Freddie the band leader and stuff. It's always the same guys there in the back. They may have turned over now,
Starting point is 00:41:08 after COVID and stuff who knows. I'm saying, it's weird. I mean, we shut down far more, I think, than we did. Yeah, it's weird to go back to a thing, you're really like opening up something that you haven't been to pre-COVID. I know, it's also, I feel the worst when like, they know you for sure, and you're like,
Starting point is 00:41:24 pssss, do you remember? Yeah And you're like, Psss. Do you remember? We talked about probably music. Yeah. Exactly question mark on it. Oh yeah, because you were saying about your kids. I was excited that Cleopatra made it. I love that venue and that's where the worst is gonna be.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Oh, you're not shutting down a trans bar. Cleopatra is great. It is. It's very fun. It's so fun. Very fun then, right? We get you guys are trans bar. Clay Patrick is great. It is very fun. It's so fun. Very fun. Then right we get you guys are trans friendly. I did mushrooms. I did mushrooms on RE's. This is not happening there. Yeah. And bombed. Wow really? The ex everything was the I took mushrooms to the weeners would look like pussies. I go there. I thought something. Oh look they're outies. That's all they are is out. What
Starting point is 00:42:03 is such this girl's big long pussy? I wonder if all the strip clubs are all definitely close down right where like on that fucking currently in Montreal No, I bet they're like I which ones didn't survive COVID. I wonder I Don't know man. I've never been to a strip club in Montreal You've only been to one strip club in your life. Yeah, he's only been to one Yeah, she's one for one though bang the stripper. Hey It's pretty cool. I'd stop right there I'm saying I won strip clubs. Yeah, she went fuck stripper. Yeah, you have an undefeated record retire
Starting point is 00:42:38 Yeah, cuz your house always wins at the strip club didn't see it coming up. I gotta tell you Christine It was a pretty good pull also in the sense that credit were credits, too Women go to strip clubs and they don't all leave With a with a chick Pretty impressive. Don't say where was it in New York? Philly nice. That was the girl that got us back smoking cigarettes the first time She gives one a cigarette on my I'll try heroin if you ask right now Let's just get this going to when you guys when you guys started smoking cigarettes again
Starting point is 00:43:12 Then like 2015 and then you would like go hide it from us like we didn't know what you were doing You like we have a boner You're like I gotta go call Isabella Christine come with me while I call They're gonna go and like you don't love Isabella that much Yeah, and then finally you're like you're smoke I asked him I was like, you guys smoking? He's like, no, dude, I gotta call Isabella. I'll be right back. He goes, oh, do you stress me out? I have to go call Isabella. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Leriously, it came out right after that because I was on I took mushrooms and I was at Kumia's house for 4th of July. Okay. And Jay wasn't there. He was at a town but it was like Lewis and I don't know a bunch of people were there. And I just started smoking cigarettes. I was like, I don't know why we're hiding it from our friends. I smoke. To my favorites, my friends kept it up to I go, Christine, I can't believe you're smoking.
Starting point is 00:43:53 And then you get along and you're like, oh my God. Did my friend smoked until his 30s and never told his mom? And I was like, do you think she doesn't know? My ex boyfriend had it from his mom, and I wasn't allowed to smoke right. So it's like, we could only go two, three hours with his mom and one day it was like five hours
Starting point is 00:44:11 and I mean, I was in a bad mood. I fell asleep on the couch. Dude, I couldn't smoke. The second I could smoke. I think my grandmother, while she was in one of her stupors while passing away, I think told my mom that she knows I smoke and like it's fine or whatever, but it was just, and left field nowhere.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Well you smell like smoke. Fuck you. So she's probably smellsin' on you. When I finally got to smoke at home, I figured a smell of tuna fish coming from you would drown out my smoke smell. And that's coming straight from my grandma's mouth. Thank you, honey. Thank you, mom And that's coming straight from my grandma's mouth. You got it, honey.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Thank you, mom. What's with your girlfriend's tuna pussy? I was a stinky pussy. She would say, I love a chase, and if you love her, I love her, but she's got tuna pussy. I know you very well. And I know you love tuna pussy. So you have your fun with this, Farlet.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Thank you, mom. When you're smoking in a teenager, you can, it's fun to put that in your friend's face when they're like, I could smoke at my house. You know, nothing's better than smoking as a teenager. I feel like I really did it all right. Yeah, and then you like smoke as a teenager and then you're like, and then your friends are like,
Starting point is 00:45:20 I gotta wash my hands. I gotta like put, clone on to go home and you're like, I'm like, I'm smoking in my fucking bedroom. You're an asterisk. I smoke a cigarette after dinner. I gotta like put clone on to go home and you're like, I'm like I'm smoking in my fucking bedroom. You're on an ash tray. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette after dinner. I'd like do the dishes and beg. All right, Trish, I'm gonna ripple Camelight. This would be on the back patio,
Starting point is 00:45:32 smoking a cigarette. How old? 16. Oh, you didn't smoke inside? No. Oh, we smoked inside. No, there was a very strict no weed or cigarettes in the house rule, but that's where the rules ended.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Did your mom smoke? She quit when I was like six. Okay. And then she hated I smoked cigarettes, but the weed thing was like, I don't want you to get in trouble, which is what all fucking shitty parents are like, their kids smoke weed. Like I don't want to get you killed.
Starting point is 00:45:57 So your girlfriend pregnant here, I don't want you doing some CD Motel, we can get killed or voiled. Do heroin where the needles are clean, where I can see you inject. But cigarettes, she was like, yeah, after my sister died, she was just kind of like, I don't care, like you can smoke.
Starting point is 00:46:10 And I was like, for real? The first time she did that, I was like, pulling out my pack of cigarettes, hidden in my car, where they were hidden. And I was like, what is this for real? I could smoke your now. And she's like, she goes, no, I just wanted to admit that you were smoking, and she brass knuckles you
Starting point is 00:46:23 in the face, just beats me with a fucking black Jack Wamps on me, but then it was awesome because all my friends would like I would just like oh, yeah, I was fucking smoke a cigarette I'd smoke with like like what her friends would come over and they'd be outside smoking Come and toss one in light it up back. We just talking about Texas DJ little hell were you started smoking 17 We are talking about taxes DJ little hell were you when you started smoking 17 We all started smoking together when we cut church on Sundays and went to the school yard to be cool classic Who had cigarettes was it just like one of your friends?
Starting point is 00:46:57 Not the Lord Jesus Christ. Stone from our mom Benson hedges gold. Shout out. It hedges dude It's a BH Gold I used to smoke this kid. I knew he came from Monilo. Yeah, really? Fucking Hedges? I don't show it to a... Oh boy, I couldn't tell. I didn't know you had a gate in front of your house.
Starting point is 00:47:13 The Louis skis? Yeah, the big W that I looked up? Louis skis. The sixth grader when I was in eight years. Louis? Oh Louis. Where did my pension in the Hedges go? Okay. This sixth grader, when was in 18 years. Lewis. Oh, Lewis. Where did my pension in the ninjas go? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:26 This sixth grader, when we were in eighth grade and my friend Byron and I would go to this secret place by our bus stop smoke cigarettes, he would steal a Salem light and a Marble light, one from his mom, one from his stepdad every morning, and then he'd come to my house and do the fist out thing and you'd hit, if you got the Salem light, you were like, fuck!
Starting point is 00:47:43 But if you got the Marble light, you're like, gonna be a good day and then we would go start on sale lights damn dude you are down with black people say them not we do I won their contest and then they gave me carton to sit right and I was like I'm gonna try smoke it really yeah how old are you like 20 22 crazy that's crazy who started smoking at 22? 22 I like At 22 I knew I was like, I have to quit this Like this is crazy My girlfriend broke all of me And I was like it and I had two cases of cartons of cigarettes
Starting point is 00:48:15 You should have sold that shit Me and Jay started smoking like the same year He's eight years older than me That is funny That is funny You guys cocking him at the same year He was bustying 01 It's so funny. Yeah. And uh,
Starting point is 00:48:27 that's so fucking funny. They gave me the cartons and then my girlfriend broke out me and I was like, who am I going to be now in the world? I guess I can do whatever now. Do you know what I mean? I was like, I had these cigarettes. I was like, remember the guys sit outside and rip spots? Like see David's hell doing that out there. Looks pretty cool and Yeah, I just did you do a thing right before you smoked it. We were like Come on pussy here. We go one two three I remember getting that like light headed feeling the thing. It was like pretty cool getting a buzz
Starting point is 00:48:59 Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, Nick. I think the first time you inhaled you inhaled. The first time I inhaled a cigarette, like I had to like get through it. Yeah, you were child. Yeah, me too. I was a fully formed brain adult. I got made fun of for not inhaling. And so I had to go home and like practice inhaling. I was so bad. I think until my mid 20s, by the way, or maybe even like close to 30, I still, I might still when I inhale, when I tuck the puff off the cigarette,
Starting point is 00:49:25 I go, like blow my cheeks up. So I used to do that. I would put in my mouth and, so I go, yeah, I get a big, two-step process. What the hell would you do that? I don't know. I'd cause my cousin Vicki used to make fun of me all the time. Cause you fill your mouth.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Yeah, then you, that's exactly how you smoke. Yeah, me too. Hey, you just send it straight down the shoot without doing chipmunk cheeks. I don't know, but you don't do chipmunk cheeks. You just go That's because you don't enjoy it anymore, Lou. You're just doing it suck at the shakes When I I remember loving watching my dad smoke cigarettes We know when I saw him and he would Blows I've said this before he'd blow smoke out of his nose and mouth and then connect, and just like watching from the side when I'd be in his car,
Starting point is 00:50:10 and I'd watch him do that, I'd be like, that's fucking badass. So, or get one out of the pack, the soft pack, by nobody, like side knit across your finger, and like pulling it out, pulling it out with the corner of your mouth, and then lighting it while he's driving, and he's like saying mid-sentence. But when I was 12, we were behind McFrugles,
Starting point is 00:50:28 shout out Chambers and Hamden, and Jason Poil had like... McFrugle? Yeah, McFrugles. What are they having there? It's like a dollar store. Yeah, sure it is. McFrugle.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Oh yeah, McFrugle. They made it racist Irish. Yeah, like this is probably poor. Yeah, it should have been called Mick Kikes. Yeah. They go dirty potatoes. They don't like that.
Starting point is 00:50:51 They don't like us calling it dirty potatoes. I have one. Welcome to Mickburg. Yeah. Hey, what's up? So they, um, but we had, they had like marble lights. And I remember they were like, we're going to smoke. And it was like seventh grade boys, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:02 and they're like, do you smoke soda? And I was like, no, you should try it. And I was like, grade boys, you know, and they're like, do you smoke soda? And I was like, no, you should try it. And I was like, are you guys trying it? And I remember doing like the, and I didn't do the mouthful poll. I did the, like that. And then I coughed, got a buzz, and then loved cigarettes. And it was like, like, because you're all telling me, when I smoked, I tried it when I was a kid
Starting point is 00:51:26 I hated it and that was it I hate I but you will like have to When I when I got through the buzz when I got through like the Naja and feeling sick and like why I just loved it and then I Did I got a I just fucking loved it and then I did I gotta say We got the brothers the author is like finally so he's like I it was like that's what I'm supposed to do with my hands Like I know idea there's cigarettes I but I just you just connect you're like oh this is what was missing from my life I thought I told fascinated with that oh my moment
Starting point is 00:52:00 Well, I don't remember when I had my I really don't because and I said this I think on the show before too my first Somewhere between four six months of smoking. I was oh, I know you're training myself like on it So on the on the drive right I still I never drive the Jersey term pike without going Exit 15 while 14 when you get on okay 14 when you get on nine six three Which is when I get off his three yeah, and then like one more driving around the neighborhood before I parked and went into my mom's house What part at what point did you feel hooked? I? Don't remember you don't remember that somewhere around the time that I was a
Starting point is 00:52:44 Started dating Carla. Okay, and that's when you were like I need to smoke like when Carla met me She would have told you I was like a heavy smoker and you and I even found my brand officially. Oh my god I started at marble. I can you go down your brands from when you're a kid started at marble reds I started at marble red I started my barba red, so my dad's supposed to smoke the reds from like 15 to 80. I just want you guys to gravely fucking 11 year old voices. That's why you guys say like jazz musicians when you were 11. When did you pick up the sax? Oh, you know what I think I'm gonna drop out of stool.
Starting point is 00:53:18 This is just Christine by the way. Yeah, but you never worked with red tail. That's something bitch still owes me some money to me. Redtail. That's some bitch still owes me some money to me. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you

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