The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Why Did You Bite Him?
Episode Date: July 22, 2022The guys analyze a woman at a comedy club that decided to get on stage on behalf of the audience and lament their love of smoking cigs.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 mon...ths free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder.
Yeah, finally cool music from Seattle.
Nothing more?
Well I played it because Adam Corolla mentioned it.
Alison James.
Yeah.
Oh you took him while to get there though.
He's like, you know how vagabas it goes to guy, the Seattle guy who died.
You got that so lot.
Yeah, you could pick one. Outside of Pearl Jam, you can pick one in every band. You know how vague it was, it goes to Guy, the Seattle guy who died. You got that so loud.
Yeah, you can pick one.
Outside of Pearl Jam, you can pick one in every band.
Yeah, Pearl Jam had anybody die.
They're not cool enough.
Did they have anybody die?
No.
We live forever.
The drummer got fired, that's it.
Right.
Maybe he comes back with an AR-15 and fuckles.
Why, that settles the score.
Why'd they fire him?
Even get along with Eddie, it was a dip shit.
And it's what it'd be famous too much. Is it true that they fired him at the end of that song where you hear the drumsticks get thrown?
Reveal mirror. Reveal mirror. That's not true. No, he was fired before the next album of Itology. Okay. But Reveal mirror, that is, is that him throwing his drumsticks at the end?
Because I pushed him so hard he got so many throws jumps against the wall and throw a little hissy fit.
Is that a Reveal mirror? Yeah, I love that song. Yeah, at the end, where he's like,
did you throw white?
At the very end.
They were pushing him to do better at drumming.
Like, do better for this song, service it better.
And finally, they pushed him so hard that he got to take
and threw the drumsticks at the end,
and they kept them in because that was his best take.
All right.
Or they got them there.
Fun fact, huh?
Yeah, that is, Joe List told me that. It wasn't that he got fired it was that they were they he like didn't like the way he was playing on the song and pushed him till he
Freak no no, they hated his personality. Oh cool
Um, it is the bonfire is the lost tapes everybody
Call it what you will we call it the lost tapes Thursday
And we're not here here. We're here now. Yeah, dude recording is for you then. Yeah, dude
This is a live show. Yeah, Jay wasn't around today yesterday and he's back out of nowhere today somehow
I made it work terminator timeline dude Kyle recent it Kyle recent it. I am currently as we speak in Montreal
Decide the drive there. Oh
there. Oh, they get wanting to switch flights and get me there like on a 6 a.m. flight. And I was like, if I go on a 6 a.m. flight, my days fucking whack down anyway. I leave at
8 o'clock, get there at 2 o'clock. You know, I mean, like I'll have like an hour or two,
I can still close my eyes for a little bit, get ready and go. You also have your car.
Oh, my car there, yeah. But and then coming home is why I'm stoked
to have my car. You can go whatever because yeah, I don't have to wake up at 3 a.m. because they're
taking you to the airport at 3.30. With a bunch of other comics on that Sunday. And then that
that that cattle line to get through customs. And then you know what the thing is,
is festivals are very fun, especially in Montréal,
but when you see other comics and festivals, it's great.
The travel day home, you don't wanna have to have
forced conversations.
Business talk.
With a guy that lives in LA,
that you're not gonna see again for two years,
and you just have to stand through that whole security line,
and he's like, can you believe so and so?
That's where I've gotten into.
There work by the way that's their fake friendships.
They don't really like you're saying you're very right about that or else me and Chris Hardwick would be very close.
Me and Glenn Howard's in tennis from TV's always sunny. Oh, I didn't know you the Montreal comedy festival
Waiting and just being it said it's that thing when I was out did the world stands up in England? Yeah. With all those comics out there,
like I was rooting for every comic,
like they were my brother.
Just because you're on a team together and some thick,
so you know what I mean?
So like, when you're there,
you're like, well, we all did this thing.
And then, like, whenever I see Sean Patton
or his girlfriend, Kaitlyn,
or Langston Kermann or Emmy Blotnik,
I'm always like, Scotland, we made it through.
Yeah.
Because there is a point in every festival,
no matter the length of the festival,
there's a point where you're like,
I'm ready to go home.
Yeah.
And if you have that moment with someone else,
it bonds you.
Oh yeah.
Where you're like, I want to go home too.
I think long, huh?
Hey, and you're like, did you do that show?
You're like, fucking suck.
Yeah, how was your thing over there, Dennis,
from always sending a Philadelphia?
Yeah. We were friends through this line. Hey,
Glenn Howardton Dennis from TVs always sending a photo. Hey, Dennis system. What part
of the Dennis system is this friendship? He's like, okay, man, if you don't mind,
I'm just trying to I go, I know I hate small talk bullshit conversations. They are
reports to hey, Dennis. What's my like always sending
food off you? It's Charlie like actor Glenn Howard's in yeah, but no
You got to keep him in his character the whole time. Yeah, I'm like poils like yeah, hey Dennis Dennis Dennis Dennis Dennis
We answer my question like sitting behind him in first class. So Dennis Dennis
See that flight I remember they got with Tyson the guy that was behind Tyson
He's so funny. He goes Mike Tyson, he goes, hey, pussy.
I feel like that's your instinct is to get a furious.
Fuck you.
I'm not letting it slip.
You know that Jacob?
I think you're making a face that you never heard that.
You didn't hear what happened?
This drunk guy on a flight was behind Mike Tyson and annoyed him and pissed him off so
much that Mike Tyson ended up beating the shit out of him on this airplane.
Just recently.
I don't like that.
It's great.
Oh, you'll love it.
Oh, show Jacob that video, please.
I should have done that when I sat next to Samoa Joe.
It's so great.
Should have gone, you were better in Ring of Honor.
He's like, what?
I'm like, your your cobra clutch sucks.
Yeah, look at this guy.
This guy is a dildo.
There's so much of Mike Tyson, though.
This shit crazy.
Bro Mike Tyson. Dude, Mike Tyson, the first, the, it just jumps to the kick. So my time some boat this shit crazy
Dude Mike Tyson the first
It just jumps to get to cut to the first couple like the first three or four of my Tyson's going Oh, no, man. It's nice to meet you. I'm just trying to watch this movie. He definitely did too
Yeah, you should know for my time because okay, man
Yeah, I appreciate it man if you could sit down. I'm trying to watch hook
It's with Dustin Hoffman in the late great Robin Williams. Can you please let me
watch this movie on that? And then we got pistols. We found that it wasn't hook. It was
pan. He goes, I was watching. Oh my God. This is it. This is about the creation of
you. The pan. He's punched the screen. Yes. Everybody gets a little piece. Or the guy
leaned over him. Anyway, I heard Robin Williams died choke jerk and he went okay
That's this enough. Okay hang on pause pause that pause now give it somebody. Excuse me. I'm gonna take some out of you. Sweet UCF
Yeah, he just beat it
What looks like another lawsuit for black
And my bike, come on.
He go again.
What looks like another lawsuit for a black man.
I'm according to TMZ, they're saying that Mike Tyson loss is cool or fight to happen on an airline TMZ with same day.
I will say that kids too young and stupid to get though.
I will say in his life, God forbid it happened to you.
You know yourself, but you will always be able to say, because remember that's a quite,
that's up there with would you suck a cock for a million dollars?
Is that my ties?
Would you let my ties and punch you for a million dollars?
Because you're like, it's, it's could very possibly kill you.
Can you look at that?
Or change the rest of your life?
But I mean, like this guy is clowning around still
after taking those shots.
So you're like, you know what dude?
I got punched by my ties and he's like, still awake. Well, I keep thinking about is him being drunk and waking up and being like,
did I get Mike Tyson to punch me on a flight? He was, what happened to my eye? He goes,
shop, do you remember? Sean, you don't remember? He's like, what?
I guess he goes, I remember there was that hot flight attendant. And then she said she was
making, she was like, poor the drinks heavy and she did. And then I was watching hook.
And I passed out.
You said that Peter McNeely could have owned him
with me today.
And he goes, McNeely, I'm not even a white fighters.
You started grabbing your ears and saying,
chomp on these, you psycho.
Why did you have to bite him, you pussy?
Is what you said several times.
You also said, custom auto deserved death?
You deserved what he did. That deserved what he's not yeah, man
That's like one of those ones were you or is this the guy that did it?
Oh, he spoke after the main
He's a lawyer what a pussy fucking jerk off
Our client is a big Mike Tyson fan. The attorney says, from Morgan
and Morgan, when Mike Tyson boarded the plane, he became overly excited. At first, their
interaction was cordial. At a certain point, Mr. Tyson clearly became agitated by the
overly excited fan and began to strike him in an excessive manner. So he's, he's based,
the lawyer is spinning it like, this guy was just pumped to see Mike Tyson This guy's doing that my Tyson
Turned on that thing
That he encouraged in the ring this monster
Turned around and hurt my client my poor client my sweet little baby boy
This little baby boy. I think
And really Mike Tyson's like yeah, he called me the N where it about three times then
So I turned around and we had to punish him with the fourth of God. It's really yeah, it's such a weird like
That's it's not victim blaming is the wrong word for it. It's just like to spin
I say it's the this is this guy's defense is the I got kicked out of the comedy club for laughing. I was helping the show
Yeah, you know, that's what it is. Oh, I guess you can't laugh. I guess they kick you out for laughing
Sorry, sorry. You're the first person that have been removed for laughing at a comedy or this I was agreeing with your jokes
Yeah, they don't I was answering every hypothetical and rhetorical question you were asking those motherfuckers
You still get them ever
God won this weekend. Yeah, there was a drunk married lady who was
God won this weekend. Yeah, there was a drunk married lady who was
Feeling good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've finally psyched on herself. I've had a bunch of really help everybody hated her That's what I'm always taken by is when no one feels
Them hating them. Have you, Christine bring up the great audio? Have you ever seen the a-fee?
We watched that the a-fee on Crockett thing where the girl gets on stage. Have you ever seen that? that no the lady gets on stage and the audience is
booing her relentlessly and she still going like
whatever she says that you're saying these terrible things like nobody wants
to hear it who's a fiancrocket
a black circuit comic against his own wild and i think for a while i know black
little right this guy
uh... did you show down with the brothers
guys i don't know if you know i have to put a little bit of a younger Um, oh, did you sew down with the brothers? Guys, I let him I asked but who made a face at you?
Um, no, if you on Crockett, but he's a little bit of a younger
I have yeah, I have
I know he was he's like, but he's totally down with him. He's MTV. Oh, that's my man. He's MTV famous, but he's a player there slick
Townsend
Give it a here Jack. Now you listen here Jack. Um, he's very talented sketch guy. I donT. No, sir. No, sir. Give it a hear, Jack. Now, you listen here, Jack.
He's very talented sketch guy.
I don't know his comedy, though.
I know his face.
I don't know his comedy at all, but whatever his comedy is, it's insane what this lady does.
Jumping on stage.
And the crowd's booing around.
She just does like the white lady like, you guys agree with me?
She just living in a world like, you guys all are with me.
White lady force field is one of the most powerful force fields
I really is dude what they conjure up whatever whatever dark arts they use to get their white lady force field and they got a more door shield
This one is one to cover your whole body things I check from flying arrows take this the eyes of a raven in the shod and of nay. So you take this Pinot Noir.
And they drink it and they're like,
I'm just saying how I feel about the situation
is just how it is.
So.
Yeah, it was this comedy zone Charlotte too.
That clubs have it a rough time, huh?
I mean, yeah, because Craig Robinson
will get to that after this.
Yeah, sure.
I'm there soon.
I mean, Andy Fiori will be there soon.
So they got to bring a F a fury with me. Thank God
He's gonna bring a pack like Rambo. Oh for sure
I'm like hey Fury because that guy won't make it out there. Fury wears both actual guns. Fury has
Fury's head is his face like all in the fucking brush and he goes hey, yeah, I was like hey Fury
Good said how are they? He's like they're good. They're a little tight on the left. I'm gonna go get the birds nests
He's just up into fucking sniper. Oh, he's just up there the sniper rifle waiting for his rifles painted camouflage
They go I wanted to say hi to fury. I go. He's coming down. He's up in the
You gotta go. I'll get him for you
Oh, Tango tango Omega and he comes off the wall
Tango, Tango Omega and he comes off the wall. He goes, he goes, he goes, I hadn't heard that YouTube joke.
That's how you're saying?
That was good.
Because is that new?
Hey man, nice to meet you.
Oh yeah.
We'll talk about the Craig Robinson show, but watch this.
This lady, it's so funny.
Why she thinks, I'm always taken back by their lack of discomfort or about shouldn't you be embarrassed?
Yeah, dude.
I mean, when you get on stage and the crowd's going,
no, boo, or talking in the audience.
That's why you never said, boo, boo.
And they're just, they're just,
they're just doing, they're like,
dude, but dude, but they do some dumb fucking old lady
to wedding dance.
Because they can't, what it is is if they did acknowledge
the embarrassment, their brains would leak out of their ears.
If they really took the time to be like,
I keep being disconnected as always finding
a funny one saying an older adult, too, you're like,
you know what really makes me mad?
So weird, you don't understand, see what's happening here.
It's such a bizarre thing.
I always like, again, anyone older than me,
particularly when in the act like that,
you're like, I'm blowing away.
I still always put the such value in like age.
And someone being older, like you probably
know better than me.
The way I mean, I don't want to listen to a 23 year old.
Even though it's the right thing,
I'd rather an older person tell me what to do with crypto
than a 23 year old.
Even though it should be the opposite,
I just think the older person's like,
ah, here's why it's all bullshit.
I'm like, I'm probably with you.
How do you do taxes?
Yeah.
The way to really drive at home with a drunk person
being kicked out is because you can do the thing
where you're like, when you kick him out,
you're like, the rest of the crowd wants you gone
and they cheer.
Yeah.
They don't acknowledge that.
It's pretty, it's pretty immature to do this,
but it's fun and I did it in Providence.
If you get the whole crowd to sing the na na na na, hey hey.
I was just gonna start doing that like as a joke,
but yeah, that's great.
I got him to do it.
And I'm like, they're singing because they're happy you're leaving leaving so acknowledge that tomorrow morning when you wake up. I do get the
road. That's here. That's your style. I'm not gonna step on your toes. Hit the road, Jack.
Don't you come back no more no more no more. Hit the road. That is more fun. And then Justin
Popsie goes what he saying? Hit the road, Jack. Don't co-bex Justin in his line of dancing dogs
Boys let's show him what it's just and then the mutts
But the ass is a Z and they dance
No more now sit stay
Playing pause play em off oh shit
let's watch the play a little if you on crocket
but I like paus it also broke like it is
because it is they have to use a white lady against a white lady
oh yeah it's in her magic is too strong
I think it's a manager it's uh yeah
first of all the effects she got on stage and it's like okay
is such a white lady thing
do you like she's holding her hands like she's at a town hall.
Yes, she thinks she's speaking on behalf of the audience.
Like she can't, she's not even drinking in with that.
That's what I've always found funny when someone goes like,
I'm waiting for a joke, you suck,
and you're like, out of the gates,
you could definitely hammer somebody with that
if they're bombing.
Of course.
It's a brush, it'll crush them.
But it's funny when, what they don't realize what you're like you realize you're in a very small
Minority of people who are hating this and rather than excuse yourself. Let them enjoy you just you just acknowledge
And that's why they don't she doesn't understand why they hate them. It's like you're also saying like if you like him
You're wrong, but I don't even you guys don't like him. You hate him read your son too never interrupt your enemy when he's making mistakes
If he's fucking if he's bombing just leave just leave and you're gonna hurt it more than no
No, you don't need if you heckle if you say I'm waiting for a joke you suck when someone's bombing
You that's gonna hit like thunder. It's gonna crush the common. It's funny when I'm saying when you're killing
Yeah, dude or even just doing really good. And someone goes, you suck, get off the stage.
You go, it's, you just already know.
It's like you just called out like everyone's not laughing.
Also when you know.
Pointing that to the audience is one of my favorite things ever.
When you see this person, it's calling all of you stupid
fucking idiots.
That's your laughing at this.
And it makes them more angry at them.
I was like that joke years ago.
If you're not laughing, you think I mean it's the truth.
If you're not laughing, you think I mean it's the truth Yeah, if you if you're not laughing you think I mean this and I don't mean this if you're looking at me like artistly
It's also funny when it's clearly personal
At laugh Boston there was a Christmas party and they were like drunk and they left and they like like billions hands
Yeah, they don't fucking know they don't listen to the bonfire. They don't know my comedy
They just know me from TV and they're like,
we're gonna see the TV guy.
He'll talk about Paul Puran,
he's on Yonkel Tom,
fuck this guy was gonna be rad.
And then they like,
Winton did shots and came back.
But it was like, I was 10 to 15 minutes in
and the crowd was awesome.
You were a jookbox.
And then they started talking and I was like,
are you guys, you guys got that Christmas energy party,
or Christmas party energy.
You don't wanna be at a comedy club.
You wanna be at a bar.
What are you guys doing?
And then the lady was like,
what are you guys doing?
You're like marketing.
I was like, ew, ew, just making fun of them.
I'm like, do you have a slick way to spin this?
And then this guy goes, right better jokes.
And I was like, oh, you're just mad
that I'm making fun of what you,
like it's clear you're just mad at me.
Cause he was in that group. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. And'm making fun of what you, like it's clear you're just mad at me. Cause he was in that group.
And I was like, get the fuck out of here.
And then when you say that,
when you can tell someone to leave,
Patrice, that was the first time I ever saw it happen,
where he's like, I'll pay for your bill,
get out of here.
It's the coolest move in the world.
Cause you're going like, I'll take care of that.
So this doesn't come out of your pocket, leave.
You're not having fun and they're like,
but you're supposed to want me to like you. And you're like, yeah, I don't fucking care. I think you suck. And then that's when and they're like, but you're supposed to want to want me to like you.
And you're like, yeah, I don't fucking care.
I think you're suck.
And then that's when they're always like,
I like telling them whether they're leaving
because usually it is the case.
How much do you say you guys know?
As they're walking out,
I just see another club wanted to kick you guys out
on the last comic.
I said, no, I can make them leave.
Yeah, you did the whole, I stood up for you.
But I stood up for you.
No, no, no, not now.
I'm just saying, like, as they're walking out feeling like they're doing like the,
yeah, but we're out of here.
I go, just, you know, like they, we're going to kick you out.
It's usually true.
I go, they were going to kick you out like a half hour ago, but I said, leave them there.
I'll make them to leave.
Yeah, so you're actually fulfilling my promise.
Yeah, so good job, everybody.
To like, I'm, I'm fucking up the show and you're like you're actually doing exactly
what I wanted to do.
The one, Christine, were you there for that?
The one in Providence?
When I told him, I go, you guys don't stop or something.
You're gonna be like, you're not gonna make it
20 minutes into the show.
And then like when the last one,
they left like in like three and then five more left
and every time they were walking up
someone tried to say something smart ass.
And then when the last one goes out, it was close whatever it was it was like 1936 fucking wow
we did it they didn't make it 20 minutes it was something like yes there was some awesome
like fun fact just happened to work out that I made it some random time of like they'll
be out of here and they were out of there like in that like exact time I would love a reality show
that follows people after they're kicked out of a comedy club. I would love a reality show that follows people
after they're kicked out of a comedy club.
Where they go?
Do they go to a bar?
Do they go to their house?
And just like give interviews, just like angry interviews.
And then the rest of the show should be the same film crew
comes over the next morning.
And then they're like, how do you feel?
And if they're still like, they're still heat,
or if they're like, I don't know, I gotta stop drinking
when I go out. Or like if the they're like, I don't know, I gotta stop drinking when I go out.
Or like if the wife is like,
I made a mistake, I thought he said something
and I really wanna like see that documented.
How about someone being removed and go like,
I was a fan bro, it's like,
you're not now because you're being removed
because you're a problem.
Yeah.
Because I mean, thought you were cooler than that.
Thought you would mind if I came and threw up in the front
Well much my girlfriend. Yeah, you've been out if I threw a drink it you cuz you said mom's dead bud. Yeah
Damn dude, you're you're fucking lame. You're a tart. Yeah, dude fucking lame asshole. Let's see this lady speaking lame assholes
Hey, fiat crop
That hosting really wants to get off the stage
This might be Jacksonville
Posit that is Jacksonville but pause it because that manager right. Mm-hmm that manager when I was down there last time
They were I was trying to tell them like they have a nice room that jacksville. It's in a shit
Motel mm-hmm, but it's a it's a really good room. It's shaped well. It's just set up good Mm-hmm, and she was manager and I was just like she's 20 like three or something and I go
I think I was coming on like public Francisco. You got that or something. And I go, I figured it was coming.
I'm like, Pablo Francisco, you got that one coming.
I go, that's a wild card, huh?
She goes, I've never heard of them.
And I was like, well, she goes,
I know nothing about comedy.
And she's like in charge of like the thing,
like the promotions.
And it was insane.
When you're on the road,
and you say, like, no, but she goes,
she goes, no, I go, she had the job for like three months three months and she's like, I'm going to do just like four more months
And I'm going to go back to school or some shit like that like when you see someone that's completely apathetic and it's just like a restaurant job to them
It's the best because it takes away
any of your like
You ready to see a fun show they're like I don't care what you do
And you're like do the seven month. Oh Someone with a career plan of working there for seven months, passing her failing young
comics to come through is wacky as shit.
It's crazy.
Or you know giving the go ahead and goes this guy's been doing, you know, the Asda managers
who's doing good or whatever is there.
She's like, I don't know anything about, she goes, she was sweet.
She's very sweet.
It's not her fault.
I'm like, why would the hire someone who says, Alex, she goes, I know nothing about,
I don't know any of it.
The apathy is so funny.
And they're just like, yeah, I don't really care.
And then they just fucking, it's like,
and then like, they're impressed with you,
but they're impressed with you in a way
they're impressed with a Habbachi chef.
Yeah, like, that was a thing.
Oh, it was a cool onion volcano.
All right, well, anyways, I gotta go study for my test
and you're like, this is my life's work.
Oh, yeah, dude, a mad jurist like really involved in other things. Yeah, my god, dude. I love it
There really is something so funny because
All the great comedy managers that you know for the years and years they some mostly
He's no I like I've grown like Scott a lot and by the way, it's like he manages a comedy club and fishes for steelhead
Tells me about his fishing every time we hang out.
I don't know, God damn thing about it.
Dude, he knows when I go to Cleveland,
I want some cornies.
Slimeins.
I want some slimes in the morning
and I'll be fucking super easy.
You know, I'm gonna be smoking a joint
and back by the dumpster.
Not bother, anyway.
Yeah, I go out back and smoke.
I eat a nice, I mess up a nice meal sometimes.
But they like, they still like comedy and
Nick the owner is amazing. You know, come by and be like, I would a great week or whatever.
But when you see these, like, these people that are just like, Oh, this is a temporary
stop. I don't give a shit about any of this. And you're like, so when Jay, Jay's basically
like an old fisherman, warning her of a storm that's named Pablo Francis. And she could
be a phenomenal weekend. The guys finally talented. Hey, or it could be like
Something like this were
Jesus tying his boat to the dock and she's there and he gone you've got Pablo Francisco coming that could be a bad one
Hill and I don't care. I'm meeting. I'm gonna go find fish in the sea
Hill sometimes the sea doesn't want you to find fish
She's so funny. She's in this she's in this video. She's got to stop a drug
Where though good for a gentleman there be a man trying to get her off she walked off
Yeah, yeah, she does just give up
You just watch her go like my tried. Yeah, you're not wrong. She does not care about this
You just like you just watch her go like my dried. Yeah, you're not wrong. She does not care about this
Sweetheart though. It's comedy. I think it's like that's the best when you just see that it's you know If you got a whole story
She's like her parents like she has to go back to college or something most business like this her year of like
You don't want a whole staff of like hardcore comedy fans like I when I was hiring you kind of what you know
Like dancer girls girls have their own thing going on. Yeah, you know, you can't have like all the
put a pen in this, but he needs somebody that knows what's up. Put a pen in something I want
to say just a topic I need to remember because I didn't want to think they didn't write down,
but I knew I'd remember that I almost forgot is some city has officially made a shift of police work the entire shift is females we will get to that
let's finish this a fjong crime yeah also that's a I mean we may have even talked about it
earlier this week but like it would that's a that's crazy yeah we're gonna absolutely talk about
I wrote it down so we won't forget it um my favorite is there's this waitress at the stand that
works there now that I was like just bullshit with or whatever
I'm like yeah fucking gotta watch another one of these shows, huh?
It's like that and she goes yeah, I'm funnier than everybody. I've seen you're like wow. I don't think that's true
They're also not supposed to say stuff like that to the cops
But she said that she said that and I was like I'm stuck
She said that and I wanted to be like do you want to do five minutes?
Because I really want to see because what if she's right?
What if she's right?
What if she just goes up and just fucking levels the room and you're like,
that's some of the greatest comedy I've ever seen in my life. There's a way you can get a person who's heckling and come on stage and humiliate
themselves and don't microphone doing comedy, but when it's done, like in
desperate, like anger at an audience member, whether it's like, it's new
comics always. I'm sure I said at one point
But just someone's being and you're trying to get the crowd to have like more like oh for you
Yeah, and you know that's that's the early one fix is always sort of that you're almost gonna rope a doping
Yeah, when you draw somebody in but that fucking like oh man the two rules you never bring them on stage or
I don't know about but you never give them you never hand them the microphone
It does change a lot
when you hand the microphone, but let's just they're like they're like you're getting that shit back
But just like say that when that thing I'm like why don't you get up here? Yeah, if you think it's so easy to do this
And the person you are is really going like well, I never said I can do it
Like I just do a valid argument. I just said you can't do it. Yeah, because I'm being a possible
I'm being one of the possible problems you might encounter and open my comedy and
You're not handling it well. Yeah, you're gonna get mad at stop signs if you're learning how to drive
Why don't you get up here and try to go? I don't think I'm that funny. I think I'm funnier than you
Yeah, that's why but I don't think I would be good at this that John door Rory Scoville bit on Conan was perfect
Where he's like, why don't you get up here and it's Rory Scoville?
But he goes up and starts doing stand-ups and then John door to Conan's like what do you think and. He's like, why don't you get up here and it's Rory's gobble, but he goes up and starts doing stand-ups. And then John door to Conan's like, what do you think?
And then Conan's like, well, you think you can do this and they all move down the desk.
Does it Rory's go like playing a security guard or something?
Yeah, you like he starts, no, he's an audience member. I think.
And then he moves and does the stand-up.
You just get the all are making fun of how he, yeah. And then they like so funny.
And then they all move down the thing into where it's, I think it's like John door interview.
It's like, Doer interview it.
It's like John is in the Conan seat,
Rory's in the Andy seat, and then like Conan,
and yeah, it's fucking great.
Cause they also do the duel where they're dueling jokes,
where they're doing like,
oh we accidentally booked this at the same time.
Yeah.
So Rory and John do their sets at the same time.
I think that's what this is here.
That's what you're saying.
Which is very funny, but then he does those
sets the same thing.
Oh, you think you can do this?
Because they used to do that live.
Yeah, that's it.
Where John Doar at a live show would just be doing stand-up
and Rory would be in the crowd,
and he'd be like heckling them.
And then John Doar would be like,
well, you think you can do this
and Rory's a phenomenal comedian.
So he would just go up and kill.
And then everyone would be like, what the fuck?
But if you knew, it worked because if you knew who Rory Skoval was, it was even funnier.
And if you didn't know him, you were kind of like, oh, this guy's killing, this guy can
do it.
Let's watch the end of this.
Like, we haven't gotten to the lady when the crowd doesn't like her and she just doesn't
feel it.
Well, go back a little bit because go back to like 25 second.
Yeah, that's fine.
Because I want to see her bail.
She's like, lady, this is a temp job. I need you to get off stage
Because the audience pretty bad. I'm gonna kill this black motherfucker. He's like all right. I'm out
Okay, you know what I'm going back to school in the summer. So we're in Florida. Stay in your ground state
She's like well, I'm not here.
What do you want to know?
You know you're a woman.
We know you're a woman.
You can't tell me.
Okay. Good.
How? How do I insult people by talking about sexual matters between adults?
I'm talking about the same thing the window. I'm talking about the sitting adult scene.
I have sex with women.
Even if you're talking about not consenting adult, what does that mean?
What is your problem when you go like, you're offending people.
It's like the crudges booge you for saying that.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You're wrong.
It's there impervious to it.
She's like simple man.
I have a white woman shield.
Pervious to write work for that impervious
Yeah, okay, but I'm also terrible with words. Yeah, but I'm gonna go with you. Okay
Blindly in the blind dude. Yes, let's get into it impervious. Yes, absolutely
Dude nailed it signed off dude. I'll co-sign your loan. So meet me up here describing my life. Is it something to you?
How can you speak for the whole crowd?
Tell me that I'm in the assaults.
Who have- is anybody in assaults?
It's at that moment, it's at that moment she knew she fucked up.
She knows she's fucked up right now because I think you're wrong
Are you sure cuz she like tried to she was like
Even the point you're wrong. That's the point I'm making is that's moment right there
You think she would be like they're not she just like they're just saying this cuz they feel bad for you
Do you know I mean she's she's she thinks she's steering the ship here completely.
Watch.
Down in the ass over here.
We're sounding a creepy-
The tone her to get off stage to staff, she's just not.
There's several staff members on stage.
Not she refuses.
She's like, don't touch me.
Don't touch me. She looks like a lady whole Cogum
Bye Karen
I'm out of Karen
Could have made it could have made way funnier. I hate to say I got too serious on the stage
Welcome if I said something about my life. All right sit on down Joe Clark
She she was so drunk that she just kept doing the confused like she doesn't know how she got up here Is this I how did I get here?
I was in a DSW shoe words because at one time we're at Apple bees and then we're having their
July coconut frozen margaritas. I bet this drugs and hooker motel
Yeah, I will I make a left. I met this drugs and hooker motel.
And I make a left, I mean, a goddamn comedy show.
I know I'm sitting through a guy talking about being
from Jacksonville, the MC set.
Yeah.
The next thing I know, there's a different guy out there.
Start talking about, I don't know,
so there's like an Arby's where they're always shooting it up
over on Mulhei.
I'm coming down, and I'm coming down hard.
So I get a couple of Don Rickles those are I have the zaps
That's Kaluha
And
I got a don Rickles in an Eddie Marquil Rita's yeah, I got a don Rick Rita
Man when they just take dead legends and name cocktails. Oh my god
They're even like fucking clever with it on anymore like Andrew dice martini
Did I even like fucking clever with it anymore like Andrew dice martini?
Dude the Bernie Mac and cheese
It's always the Bernie Mac and cheese and you know that they penned it being like so shit got it
Oh my god, it's pretty terrible.
Like a penne and teller?
No.
Dude, can I get a bottle of the Billy Kristall?
Say it as you pop it, he goes, you look marvelous.
You look marvelous.
Say with feeling. Say it. You look marvelous. Say with feeling. Say you look
models. Thank you. Yeah, they always do every city. Whenever I see it, I'll just
immediately toss the menu when it's like, you know, I said before we were
a poor. And tell it.
Yeah. Tell you the Laugh House made for a little while, they had a big J. Meatloaf or a Meatball
parm sandwich that I'm like, that's not really something at all.
My thing at all.
Do you have cheese takers, stromola?
Oh, you know what?
I swear to you.
I've told the story a lot in my life.
And it just hit me right now.
Meatball fat.
Got it.
Didn't get that at first.
Now it all hit me.
No, no.
Oh, that all hurts retroactively. Oh, no
Rebecca I'm the worthy of love of a fat meatball part. No, you're not you're a tasty meatball part
I'm a fat meatball part
Jacob wouldn't even eat me because you do meat and cheese
Yeah, Jacob you made Jay feel bad now cuz you're diet choices well No, I just found out the black comedy club. I started I was calling a fat meatball
There I tell you what we should name the sandwich after that meatball white boy
Yeah, I tell him a shit looks like three meatballs under a motherfucking sweater. I'm there was some cheese on it too
Yeah, put those five meatballs in a food who sweatshirt
He's meatball porn
Who's switch here? He's Meatball Palm.
I'll be Meatball Palm shooting in my black collar.
I wish I could go back in time.
Dude, if you're Meatball Palm,
it'd be Meatball Palm until I do a hard turn to Jay Okerson.
And you have to ask several people to stop calling you Meatball Palm.
Yeah, that's the best part.
He was Meatball, he goes, dude, dude.
Dude, I'm Jay Lee, you said that.
This is the mainstream clubs.
Guys, hey, this is the comic strip.
I'm gonna need you to call me Jay Okerson.
Do me a favor? Yeah. And the host goes y'all ready for your closer me
Jay
Okay, sorry
It's so funny. I'm so accepting of someone's wacky nickname and then when you're the asshole for still calling them that I
Went too long with mad dog. Yeah, I still think I call them the dog when I see
them. So do I. Mad dog. It's gonna slip up. Why did I slip up? I was told by him to call
him at first. When I saw sauce in LA and I was like, what's up, sauce? He's like, it's
David. And you're like, okay. Bobby Kelly had a moment where he was like, I'm Robert Kelly
and made it a real thing. When he called me for it's over now for the
first and that's over now thank God because in fact I want a heavy call about it. So I was
like do you remember you bullied all the two we were younger comics and afraid of you and you
like don't call me fucking Bobby dude I swear to God that was the right when I started opening for him
yeah because he like the Rosa recommended me to him and he called me and he's like
because he like the Rosa recommended me to him and he called me and he's like
He's just dance out and I was like, yeah, he's like this is Robert Kelly. I go. Oh Bobby Kelly and he was Robert Kelly
And I was like okay, I was terrified of him I'm silly bird Billy bird had a hard that was a hard like well
He's got me billy anymore his old headshot at the seller says Billy bird. Yeah, yeah
But when they only when they don't need to do it anymore. And dude and like dude, come on with that
already goes I'm you told me to say the other thing was like someone told me your name's
fuck face. And you're like no, it's Jim. And I started going hey, fuck face because I would
know it's not fuck. Do you know what you responded to Billy and Bobby for so long? We should
ask Florentine at what do you stop being jamming Jim?
Oh, yeah, because he was jamming Jim's
Florentine jamming Jim Florentine that does not make the long term
Blessing for coming out of that that's a good one. Damn dude coming out of that is tough
We forget my years as me Paul par
Back when you're at the laughhouse as me Paul parmed do I started in two so I
Doesn't roll bad.
How's the Gringo Cabesa in Tucson?
That was my, the American head.
Yeah, that was the, but dude, in real life
when that happens, it's funny.
I grew up with this kid, Nick, Nicholas,
but he went by Nicky.
Yeah.
And then like, we stopped hanging out in Heistville. And then like, he was tough. He was a tough kid. Yeah. And then like, we stopped hanging out in high school.
Yeah.
And then like, he was tough.
He was a tough kid.
And then we were like,
Well, I can show, I know, I've Nikki boys before you.
But then I was like, hey, Nikki.
And he's like, it's Nick.
And he could fight.
So immediately, you're like, yeah, it's Nick.
It's totally Nick.
Yeah.
I was gonna call you Nicholas.
I was gonna give you the full Christian.
There's Jam and Jim.
Do the head shot as wild.
Great.
That is great. Do you know that, Blacklee? Oh my God. That is head shot up at the strip still. There's jam and Jim. Do the headshot is wild. That is great. You know that
blackling? That is headshot up at the strip still. Yeah. Jam and Jim for team. Jam and Jim.
It's great. He's just jam and Jim. Yo, I should go do amateur anything Apollo. As me
ballpark. Y'all give it up for me ballpark. And do your old act. Well, no, I went on right in new black comedy club acts.
Just crush.
Huh?
Of course, because the black blue and I were talking about,
we never did the tournament of panders.
We never did the panda bear tournament.
Oh yeah.
We gotta have Boston for that.
Yeah, for sure.
We'll do it when you get back from Montréal.
Oh, Montréal?
And then Montréal.
I'm there right now.
Probably nuts deep into a poutine right now. That's that's kidney French Canadian fries with
Gravy Jacob. Jacob doesn't really travel my cultured asshole. I uh yes
Jacob that's what French Canada is all about. Gravy fries. I need an
expectation and I'm very excited. I'm so jealous. Oh, expectations, the one by the hotel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love expectations.
Do you really?
Yeah.
It's just like a diner.
It's fine.
That's our first date.
Oh my God.
She's not wrong.
It was.
Expectation was where I met up with this management
because they did new faces.
I did unrepped.
I won't be honest.
There's a, there's a nastrix. I did new faces unrepped.repped, I won't be honest. There's a nastrix.
I did new faces unrepped, so it was all about just trying
to get management and these corny ass LA people were like,
let's meet at like 10 in the morning
and I was so hungover from working.
And I went and I was like, I didn't like them at all
and I just ordered a beer and a shot,
because I was, you know, and the lady goes,
that's fun, I'm gonna have a bloody
Mary watching the LA into your drinking problem. That's fun. I always think of that stupid
lady. That's fun. That's fun and it's like. I'm gonna throw up in that plant over there.
I'm trying not to get sick. Yeah. I'm doing this, so I don't throw up in front of you.
But expectation, you know, the food's all right.
I've been at it. It's great.
It's good. It's good.
I know. It's just emotional for her.
Yeah, she's got an attachment to it.
Yeah, the first time she went there, my scus was all over her belly.
Oh my God.
And I had interrupted trying to get my carton of smokes for you.
That was the same year.
Yeah, I think she texted you to come up.
It was to get, and I needed my cigarette.
No, I needed my cigarettes from you
because you bought me cigarettes at the duty free,
flying up, and I ran out of cigarettes,
and you're like, I'll get you cheap cigarettes,
and then I couldn't get a hold of you
because you were trying to hook up with Christine.
So I texted Christine, and I was like,
hey, I need my cigarettes.
And she's like, come up here and get them.
And I was like, that's when I opened the door.
And it was like, Benny Hill, you guys were like
running all over the room. But, but a fresh pack of smokes, I miss it.
Getting a fresh pack.
I still get the feeling when I put a like new cartridge in.
Yeah, you know, I get it.
But man, open in a fucking full pack of smokes.
Christine's gonna grab me a cart on her way up.
Yeah, hell yeah.
I'm gonna get a cart on my way up.
Christine grab a cart and live in that cart in life Oh, yeah, there's no duty free driving through
Yeah, there is you can yeah, it's like but it's like but there's no other exits. Oh, okay. It's like a duty free thing
Yeah, for sure. I didn't know that but you have to go in yeah, yeah, it's in the roadside, but how do you prove it?
Huh you just show me your American? Oh
You like duty free like driving is different because like duty free flying but how do you prove it? You just show him your American. Oh, you have to go to the bathroom.
Like, duty free, like driving is different.
Because like duty free flying,
and it'll be like, it's like 300 yards from the border.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Are you excited to go back?
You haven't been back to Montreal since 2019.
No.
Not at all.
Yeah.
Oh, you're hosting the nasty show.
It's so exciting.
Yeah, it'll be fun to host the nasty the nasty show, I think great lineup Bobby Kelly
Yameneca Josh out of Myers
Sophie buttle Sophie buttle rules it's gonna be fun
It's gonna be good at Lisa Trigger. I feel like she never looks forward to festivals, but has a good time at them
I would say he's at he's in his element in the festival. I don't think so at all. I think so Christine. Keeps tell me I always have a great time
But it's not right. It's time. Is there are they doing the jam?
One but I'm not doing it. It's outside. It's during the
Nancy show. I think Josh isn't on that Nancy show that night
They put him out in the old
He's on the outside jam. Oh, the one you did when you didn't nickel back big big one. Yeah, that's fun. That is fun. I wish I could have done it
But you know, I have duties. You gotta host that nasty. No, that's nasty
I got to work. You think they're still gonna have the same security that they had like you know, because you made friends with all those guys
Do they change? Oh?
No, I mean almost the band and everything
Freddie the band leader and stuff. It's always the same guys there in the back.
They may have turned over now,
after COVID and stuff who knows.
I'm saying, it's weird.
I mean, we shut down far more, I think, than we did.
Yeah, it's weird to go back to a thing,
you're really like opening up something
that you haven't been to pre-COVID.
I know, it's also, I feel the worst when like,
they know you for sure, and you're like,
pssss, do you remember? Yeah And you're like, Psss.
Do you remember?
We talked about probably music.
Yeah.
Exactly question mark on it.
Oh yeah, because you were saying about your kids.
I was excited that Cleopatra made it.
I love that venue and that's where the worst is gonna be.
Oh, you're not shutting down a trans bar.
Cleopatra is great.
It is.
It's very fun. It's so fun. Very fun then, right? We get you guys are trans bar. Clay Patrick is great. It is very fun. It's so fun. Very fun.
Then right we get you guys are trans friendly. I did mushrooms. I did mushrooms on
RE's. This is not happening there. Yeah. And bombed. Wow really? The
ex everything was the I took mushrooms to the weeners would look like
pussies. I go there. I thought something. Oh look they're outies. That's all they are is out. What
is such this girl's big long pussy?
I wonder if all the strip clubs are all definitely close down right where like on that fucking currently in Montreal
No, I bet they're like I which ones didn't survive COVID. I wonder I
Don't know man. I've never been to a strip club in Montreal
You've only been to one strip club in your life. Yeah, he's only been to one
Yeah, she's one for one though bang the stripper. Hey
It's pretty cool. I'd stop right there
I'm saying I won strip clubs. Yeah, she went fuck stripper. Yeah, you have an undefeated record retire
Yeah, cuz your house always wins at the strip club didn't see it coming up. I gotta tell you Christine
It was a pretty good pull also in the sense that credit were credits, too
Women go to strip clubs and they don't all leave
With a with a chick
Pretty impressive. Don't say where was it in New York?
Philly nice. That was the girl that got us back smoking cigarettes the first time
She gives one a cigarette on my I'll try heroin if you ask right now
Let's just get this going to when you guys when you guys started smoking cigarettes again
Then like 2015 and then you would like go hide it from us like we didn't know what you were doing
You like we have a boner
You're like I gotta go call Isabella Christine come with me while I call
They're gonna go and like you don't love Isabella that much
Yeah, and then finally you're like you're smoke I asked him I was like, you guys smoking?
He's like, no, dude, I gotta call Isabella. I'll be right back. He goes, oh, do you
stress me out? I have to go call Isabella.
Yeah, I know.
Leriously, it came out right after that because I was on I took mushrooms and I was at
Kumia's house for 4th of July. Okay. And Jay wasn't there. He was at a town but it
was like Lewis and I don't know a bunch of people were there. And I just started smoking cigarettes.
I was like, I don't know why we're hiding it
from our friends.
I smoke.
To my favorites, my friends kept it up
to I go, Christine, I can't believe you're smoking.
And then you get along and you're like, oh my God.
Did my friend smoked until his 30s
and never told his mom?
And I was like, do you think she doesn't know?
My ex boyfriend had it from his mom,
and I wasn't allowed to smoke right.
So it's like, we could only go two, three hours
with his mom and one day it was like five hours
and I mean, I was in a bad mood.
I fell asleep on the couch.
Dude, I couldn't smoke.
The second I could smoke.
I think my grandmother, while she was in one of her stupors
while passing away, I think told my mom that she knows I smoke
and like it's fine or whatever,
but it was just, and left field nowhere.
Well you smell like smoke.
Fuck you.
So she's probably smellsin' on you.
When I finally got to smoke at home,
I figured a smell of tuna fish coming from you
would drown out my smoke smell.
And that's coming straight from my grandma's mouth.
Thank you, honey. Thank you, mom And that's coming straight from my grandma's mouth. You got it, honey.
Thank you, mom.
What's with your girlfriend's tuna pussy?
I was a stinky pussy.
She would say, I love a chase, and if you love her,
I love her, but she's got tuna pussy.
I know you very well.
And I know you love tuna pussy.
So you have your fun with this, Farlet.
Thank you, mom.
When you're smoking in a teenager,
you can, it's fun to put that in your friend's face
when they're like, I could smoke at my house.
You know, nothing's better than smoking as a teenager.
I feel like I really did it all right.
Yeah, and then you like smoke as a teenager
and then you're like, and then your friends are like,
I gotta wash my hands.
I gotta like put, clone on to go home and you're like,
I'm like, I'm smoking in my fucking bedroom. You're an asterisk. I smoke a cigarette after dinner. I gotta like put clone on to go home and you're like, I'm like I'm smoking in my fucking bedroom.
You're on an ash tray.
I'm gonna smoke a cigarette after dinner.
I'd like do the dishes and beg.
All right, Trish, I'm gonna ripple Camelight.
This would be on the back patio,
smoking a cigarette.
How old?
16.
Oh, you didn't smoke inside?
No.
Oh, we smoked inside.
No, there was a very strict no weed or cigarettes
in the house rule, but that's where the rules ended.
Did your mom smoke?
She quit when I was like six.
Okay.
And then she hated I smoked cigarettes, but the weed thing was like,
I don't want you to get in trouble,
which is what all fucking shitty parents
are like, their kids smoke weed.
Like I don't want to get you killed.
So your girlfriend pregnant here,
I don't want you doing some CD Motel,
we can get killed or voiled.
Do heroin where the needles are clean,
where I can see you inject.
But cigarettes, she was like, yeah,
after my sister died, she was just kind of like,
I don't care, like you can smoke.
And I was like, for real?
The first time she did that, I was like,
pulling out my pack of cigarettes,
hidden in my car, where they were hidden.
And I was like, what is this for real?
I could smoke your now.
And she's like, she goes, no, I just wanted to admit
that you were smoking, and she brass knuckles you
in the face, just beats me with a fucking black Jack
Wamps on me, but then it was awesome because all my friends would like I would just like oh, yeah, I was fucking smoke a cigarette
I'd smoke with like like what her friends would come over and they'd be outside smoking
Come and toss one in light it up back. We just talking about Texas
DJ little hell were you started smoking
17 We are talking about taxes DJ little hell were you when you started smoking 17
We all started smoking together when we cut church on Sundays and went to the school yard to be cool classic
Who had cigarettes was it just like one of your friends?
Not the Lord Jesus Christ. Stone from our mom Benson hedges gold. Shout out. It hedges dude
It's a BH Gold I used to smoke this kid.
I knew he came from Monilo.
Yeah, really?
Fucking Hedges?
I don't show it to a...
Oh boy, I couldn't tell.
I didn't know you had a gate in front of your house.
The Louis skis?
Yeah, the big W that I looked up?
Louis skis.
The sixth grader when I was in eight years.
Louis?
Oh Louis.
Where did my pension in the Hedges go?
Okay. This sixth grader, when was in 18 years. Lewis. Oh, Lewis. Where did my pension in the ninjas go? Oh, yeah.
This sixth grader, when we were in eighth grade
and my friend Byron and I would go to this secret place
by our bus stop smoke cigarettes,
he would steal a Salem light and a Marble light,
one from his mom, one from his stepdad every morning,
and then he'd come to my house and do the fist out thing
and you'd hit, if you got the Salem light,
you were like, fuck!
But if you got the Marble light, you're like, gonna be a good day and then we would go start on sale lights damn dude you are
down with black people say them not we do I won their contest and then they gave me carton to
sit right and I was like I'm gonna try smoke it really yeah how old are you like 20 22 crazy
that's crazy who started smoking at 22? 22 I like
At 22 I knew I was like, I have to quit this
Like this is crazy
My girlfriend broke all of me
And I was like it and I had two cases of cartons of cigarettes
You should have sold that shit
Me and Jay started smoking like the same year
He's eight years older than me
That is funny
That is funny
You guys cocking him at the same year
He was bustying 01
It's so funny. Yeah. And uh,
that's so fucking funny. They gave me the cartons and then my girlfriend broke out me and I was like,
who am I going to be now in the world? I guess I can do whatever now.
Do you know what I mean? I was like, I had these cigarettes. I was like,
remember the guys sit outside and rip spots? Like see David's hell doing that out there.
Looks pretty cool and
Yeah, I just did you do a thing right before you smoked it. We were like
Come on pussy here. We go one two three
I remember getting that like light headed feeling the thing. It was like pretty cool getting a buzz
Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, Nick. I think the first time you inhaled you inhaled. The first time I inhaled a cigarette, like I had to like get through it.
Yeah, you were child. Yeah, me too.
I was a fully formed brain adult.
I got made fun of for not inhaling.
And so I had to go home and like practice inhaling.
I was so bad.
I think until my mid 20s, by the way, or maybe even like close to 30, I still, I might
still when I inhale, when I tuck the puff off the cigarette,
I go, like blow my cheeks up.
So I used to do that.
I would put in my mouth and, so I go, yeah, I get a big,
two-step process.
What the hell would you do that?
I don't know.
I'd cause my cousin Vicki used to make fun of me all the time.
Cause you fill your mouth.
Yeah, then you, that's exactly how you smoke.
Yeah, me too. Hey, you just send it straight down the shoot without doing chipmunk cheeks. I don't know, but you don't do chipmunk cheeks. You just go
That's because you don't enjoy it anymore, Lou. You're just doing it suck at the shakes
When I I remember loving watching my dad smoke cigarettes
We know when I saw him and he would
Blows I've said this before he'd blow smoke out of his nose
and mouth and then connect, and just like watching
from the side when I'd be in his car,
and I'd watch him do that, I'd be like,
that's fucking badass.
So, or get one out of the pack, the soft pack,
by nobody, like side knit across your finger,
and like pulling it out, pulling it out
with the corner of your mouth, and then lighting it
while he's driving, and he's like saying mid-sentence.
But when I was 12, we were behind McFrugles,
shout out Chambers and Hamden,
and Jason Poil had like...
McFrugle?
Yeah, McFrugles.
What are they having there?
It's like a dollar store.
Yeah, sure it is.
McFrugle.
Oh yeah, McFrugle.
They made it racist Irish.
Yeah, like this is probably poor.
Yeah, it should have been called
Mick Kikes.
Yeah.
They go dirty potatoes.
They don't like that.
They don't like us calling it dirty potatoes.
I have one.
Welcome to Mickburg.
Yeah.
Hey, what's up?
So they, um, but we had, they had like marble lights.
And I remember they were like, we're going to smoke.
And it was like seventh grade boys, you know,
and they're like, do you smoke soda? And I was like, no, you should try it. And I was like, grade boys, you know, and they're like, do you smoke soda?
And I was like, no, you should try it.
And I was like, are you guys trying it?
And I remember doing like the, and I didn't do the mouthful poll.
I did the, like that.
And then I coughed, got a buzz, and then loved cigarettes.
And it was like, like, because you're all telling me,
when I smoked, I tried it when I was a kid
I hated it and that was it I hate I but you will like have to
When I when I got through the buzz when I got through like the
Naja and feeling sick and like why I just
loved it and then I
Did I got a I just fucking loved it and then I did I gotta say We got the brothers the author is like finally so he's like I it was like that's what I'm supposed to do with my hands
Like I know idea there's cigarettes
I but I just you just connect you're like oh this is what was missing from my life
I thought I told fascinated with that oh my moment
Well, I don't remember when I had my I really don't because and I said this I think on the show before too my first
Somewhere between four six months of smoking. I was oh, I know you're training myself like on it
So on the on the drive right I still I never drive the Jersey term pike without going
Exit 15 while 14 when you get on okay 14 when you get on nine six
three
Which is when I get off his three yeah, and then like one more driving around the neighborhood before I parked and went into my mom's house
What part at what point did you feel hooked? I?
Don't remember you don't remember that somewhere around the time that I was a
Started dating Carla. Okay, and that's when you were like I need to smoke like when Carla met me
She would have told you I was like a heavy smoker and you and I even found my brand officially. Oh my god
I started at marble. I can you go down your brands from when you're a kid started at marble reds
I started at marble red
I started my barba red, so my dad's supposed to smoke the reds from like 15 to 80. I just want you guys to gravely fucking 11 year old voices.
That's why you guys say like jazz musicians when you were 11.
When did you pick up the sax?
Oh, you know what I think I'm gonna drop out of stool.
This is just Christine by the way.
Yeah, but you never worked with red tail.
That's something bitch still owes me some money to me.
Redtail. That's some bitch still owes me some money to me.
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