The Commercial Break - Don't Quit Your Day Job! | Ask TCB

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

TCB often receives text & emails asking for advice...what are they thinking!? Tad writes in ready to quit his job over his crush on his new boss! Then, Carly asks TCB to speak to her best friend about polygamy. Bryan, the resident expert on polygamy based reality TV, is happy to give his thoughts. It's an "Ask TCB" episode of The Commercial Break! Chess is wrecked by one pain in the ass cheating scandal! Vegas high roller spots is not a place for loud people Vagina has a candle, now it has chips you can eat! Carl stops by to say hello #preachingP Tad asks for advice on an (almost) office romance Carly wants her friend to hear from Bryan about her polygamy LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube American Musical Supply is offering $20 off any purchase over $100 Take a Listen to The Jordan Harbinger show! Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo New Episodes on Monday, Wednesday and now Fridays everywhere you listen to podcasts! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) This episode is sponsored by American Musical Supply. Go Here and use promo code TCB to receive $20 off a purchase over $100. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You have a candle out, very special. Yes. It smells like... I don't know what it smells like, because I don't know. But... Uh... What does it smell like, what is it?

It smells... Well, the candle itself... Uh-huh. ... smells like roses and bergamot and... Uh-huh. But the... Anyways, what was the inspiration for the candle? Well, the candle is called,

this smells like my vagina. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I have no idea how to play background. I was interested. Backgrounds in the back of the casino. I know. I was interested. I got out there and I mean, it was so funny. We were going all around. What the fuck is background? How do you play background? I don't know. Hashtag, breach and penis.

Didn't you draw a load of cash off to another girl? I dropped a load of something, girl. You know, I did. I did. I dropped 25,000 dollars. of cash off to another girl. I feel it too, boy. I feel it. I feel you rubbing up against my leg every once in a while at the printer. I know we're just too long lost, desperate lovers waiting for each other to quit each other's jobs, but I just gotta let you know. I'm not quitting my fucking job. What are you, Laura? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

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Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. but fact news or fiction is guaranteed. And 15 seconds or less, or your money bag, go to the brand new tcbpodcast.com website to collect your earnings. Is it brand new still? Yeah, it's gonna be brand new for, until I say it's not brand new. Maybe now it's just new, it's not brand new, it's just new. Okay, it's fresh and up,

maybe since the last time you went there, I don't know, I don't know how long it is before people go to, a lot of people go to the website. It's a great website. It's a great website. Which is why we need a new one, which is why we'll get it up there. I know. Chrissy, what are you going to get jeb for Christmas? Wouldn't you like to know? I just want to hint, just give me a hint. He doesn't listen to the show. What is it? It's a madder. He's not gonna do it. I see, and he really, he's had his eye on that, um, that man-scaping thing of all the

rage. What man-scaping thing that's all the rage? On every podcast you listen to. Oh, Shave Your Nuts or Clean My Balls? Yeah. He wants Clean My Balls? Just like get him a razor and just like do the razor thing. Like, clean my balls, all it is, it's him a razor and just like do the razor thing like clean my balls all it is It's like a

Rated that there's that and it does stuff like your nose hairs and your Okay, yeah, yeah, I have a whole man's caping I have a whole cabin All those things gotten into jewelry. Oh really? You got a bracelet you got a bracelet. I really like it. It's like a silver bracelet. It's like silver. No, I mean it's like this. No, it's not beads. It's like a leather thing that has like a skull. Oh, okay. Cool. Like a John Barbados type thing or something like that. I wear beads because that's what third graders do. I feel it. people are like, oh, what is that guy? This can also double as. Anel beads? Maybe.

I can try to stick him up there and see what happens. That's what I was not going to say that. Yeah, well, I'll say it. Anel beads. Speaking of anal beads, the strangest fucking thing is going on in the world of chess. Have you read about this? Chess?

Chess. Oh, then the guy, the that got the kid, the robot. No, they broke his fingers. No, no, no, no. That's a whole different... Okay, in the world of professional chess, there are two... Controversy. Very famous chess players.

Controversy. And they have been going back and forth at each other. And why is this speaking of anal beads? Listen. Okay. One of the guys, people claim that he is cheating, that there is no way that he would naturally know how to do some particular move, the kyber pass-movers.

You know, they all have names? Cobra ky. Yeah, the cobra ky move or the, you know, the shush, shush, whatever they call it. The king's great gambit. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about because I'm not that smart. I'm not smart enough to play chess.

But they say that this particular kid is not smart enough or he's not as good of a player as he claims to be. So they think that what is going, this is a legitimate investigation going on right now. Whether or not he is sticking electronic anal beads in his ass that is being controlled by someone else telling him which moves to make. I mean, I'm so good. If you're willing to stick anal beads up your ass and get them vibrated for anyone,

I say amen. That is a great way of counting cards like this. We should go to Vegas and you count the cards. I think you just heard the MGM Grand NDC and oh my God. It was a scene. Of course it's a scene. It's a fucking casino. This casinos are always a scene.

Casinos are always a scene. First of all, it's one of the few places in the world where you can still smoke a fucking cigarette, right? No. You can't smoke any cigarettes. You're gonna get into vaping. No vaping? No vaping.'t smoke any cigarettes. In a vaping. No vaping. In a fucking casino.

Correct. How is that even possible? I know that there's one hotel in Vegas now that does not allow smoking anywhere on the casino floor, but I think most of them probably still do. You have to go to the side, you have to go to the place I was at. The place I was at.

It's not allowing anything. Oh, who the hell's Casino? We still allow smoking come on in That reminds you in kill me What did my friend give me and I went to uh, we thought we were going out to a nice dinner was it was in your neighborhood Okay, how mill yeah, okay, okay? It was uh de angelo's or de Oh anyways Del Frisco Okay, okay. It was de-angeloes or de- Well, oh yeah. Anyways.

Del Friscoes. Del Friscoes. Yeah. We thought we were going into a nice place and there's Kino, first of all, everywhere. And then we're like slot machines and whatever. We called it depressing. Depressings.

When I went to Vegas, I was like, because I'm not a gambler, I was afraid to gamble in the real casinos. So what I would do is I would go to Vegas, I was like, because I've not a gambler, I was afraid to gamble in the real casinos. So what I would do is I would go to like, oh, halahands or ol' Gallagher or whatever. Like on the quarter. Where they would say the 64- That's fun light.

And you'd walk around. Yeah, the poker buy-in would be like 50 cents. Yeah. I'd be like, I'm gonna double down. It's a dollar, sir. With the dealer would be more drunk than you were. It was, uh. Yeah, my, the buy in at this place that I was at in DC,

it was $25 minimum. Minimum. Yeah, minimum. So I, when I, it's cry chain, cry chain, which is they play everything on supply chain. So I went to the ATM to get out some money

because I thought, well, my thing with casinos is I like $100 and that's it. That's my play money. That's my play money. I'm okay losing it. Unless somebody else is willing to give it to me and then I'll play all night. Sure.

Do you have random strangers? Yes. You have random strangers that give you chips? Yes, yes. What the fuck is going on in this world? So anyway, so I went to the ATM and I thought well, I'll just get out of $100 the least I could get out was 500 500 Yes, that's the least amount of money I could get out was 2000 two thousand dollars which ATM allows you to know? It was the Coliseum's speedo ATM. I go to Wells Fargo and they like,

I got a fraud alert when I try and get $25 out. What, this fre- I know, and I was like, well, I'll at least, I'll get all 500 of it, I'm not gonna spend it. Not gonna spend it. You spent it. No, I didn't. And in fact, I was walking around with a friend of mine

who knew he was like, Bacarot, Bacarot's the way to go. Bacarot. Yeah, he was said go That's the best one It's a play. He's like a guy who used to make 70s cheesy music for backer at who plays backer at Backer, I have no idea how to play backer. I was interested backer. That's the backer that can see I know I was interested. I got out there and I mean it was so funny We wrote all around what the fuck is back around?

How do you play back around? I don't know. Is that what the dominant? My friend, yes, I think it is with dominance. My friend was like, it takes a little superstition and a little luck. It's a fun. Anytime someone says it takes superstition and some luck,

I might as well. I'm a blackjack girl. I was a blackjack girl. And every time I was down to the blackjack table, I would win and then I would walk away with my winnings. Well, then there you go. That's the way you go play something else. You'd walk away with winnings and spend it somewhere else.

That's a K-O-A only losing $200. Well, but we did go up into the high roller place. And I mean, Brian, let me just tell you all this. So we went up there. I was like, what's up the escalator? What is up there? Seems fun. Yeah, it's a high roller place. It was the high roller place. And so my friend and I, what, we get up the escalator, we walk there. He goes, it's a thousand dollars to sit down these tables. I go, wow, I'm not doing that.

I am. Well, let's go back downstairs. I want to at least walk around this place and see, Brian, it was like an ESPN show. It was the visors and the glasses on. Yeah, it's crazy and everything. And I was like, this is real. I went to Vegas. It is real. I went to a Vegas with a ball of mine. I know with it.

Anytime you have a casino, there's people are people love to fucking gamble. They love to fucking gamble. It's not, it's an air of desperation. Well, I mean, it depends. Like if you're in the high roller, if yeah, well, there's a lot of fair amounts. Because people treat gambling like, like probably it should be with some,

you know, some bit of caution and some bit of danger. But gambling for the, for the, when we were kids gambling, there was only one place in the United States where you could gamble and that was a lot of fucking Vegas, arena, maybe so two places. Yeah. But you would go there and-

My dad was a dealer in arena. Oh, he was? Yeah. I went to, I went with my boss to Vegas one time and he lit, I had no idea. Zero clue, no clue. We went to a conference. We get, we landed Vegas were on the same plane.

We get to Vegas. We take a cab to the hotel. He has put us both up in the hotel at the MGM grand, which is the nicest part of the hotel. It's an actual separate hotel. I remember this. It was like 20 years ago, 15, 20 years ago, and it was like a 90 inch flat screen TV

in my fucking shower, in my shower. So he says, we'll meet at the conference in a couple of hours, 3 p.m. rolls around. I dial up his cell phone. I say, hey man, I'll meet you down at the conference. He says, listen. I've been down here for five other days. That's what he said.

He said, I'm not feeling so good. I can't make it to the conference. I don't know, Ray, what time is it? I've been down here on the table. I'm gonna go to good. I can't make it to the conference Go to the conference and at a break I call him again. Hey, man How you feeling anything I can but I can hear that he's not upstairs in this fucking room So I start walking around in in the MGM they have a special like high roller section Yes, right roped off red velvet the whole nine yards and I'm walking by and I fucking in the MGM they have a special like high roller section. Yes, right roped off red velvet the whole nine yards And I'm walking by and I fucking see the guys sitting there with a fucking baseball cap on he came He flew to Vegas in a suit and now he's got a baseball cap on these sitting at the high stakes poker table

And I'm like, hey, you know, whatever Peter And he's like Ignoring me Peter. I just walked up right to him and I was like, yeah, I go. Hey, what know, whatever, Peter, Peter. And he's like, ignoring me. He's Peter. I just walked up right to him and I was like, yeah, I go, hey, what's going on? He's like, shh, you can't, you can't talk in this area. And I'm like, you can't talk in this area. Oh, I know, I had a couple of drinks

so I got to the whole high roller area. I was walking around and I was like, look at those people. Yeah, you can't do that. That's a big no no. People are giving me this state. Yeah, that's a big reason to get kicked out of it. But I thought I was hilarious. When you have millions of dollars online,

no one wants to hear anything from you. And then you get the real weirdos who are like wearing headphones and like, you know, listening to music while they're playing poker. How the fuck did we get up on this topic? Like, I know beats up their ass. Yeah, I know beats up their ass.

Anyway, this guy, there's a whole investigation going on about whether or not this guy's literally wearing anal beads trying to cheat at chess. I had no idea that chess was this like cutthroat that you would wanna, I mean, I guess any competition, there's always gonna be someone that's looking at cut corners. But if I say, if the guy is literally wearing anal beads in order to win a chess competition,

more power to him. He has just gotten smarter than everybody else. That's all it is. It's not that he's not, yeah. Let's do it. Moved it along. Let's all it is. He's not that he's not. Yeah. Let's move to the last. Don't go that way. Don't take that move.

So we're going to have to check your for anal bee. Yeah. It's a little cavity. You can't. Ben's are one of those. Not fun. The reason why I ask you what you want to get Jeff for Christmas is because I found the perfect gift for any man in your life.

Is that right? I ask you what you want to get Jeff for Christmas is because I found the perfect gift for any man in your life. Is that right? It's called, they're called Chaz Chips. And Chaz Chips is, I think it's, I think they're based in Sweden. Chaz Chips now has vagina flavored chips. Pussy flavored chips is what they call them. Now, unless you think this is some marketing ploy

like the whole group candle thing was, it really smells like vanilla, but they call it the vagina candle or whatever. This is, and they actually took swabs of women's vaginas. They put them into machines that test them for certain chemicals and acidity and all this other stuff. And then they made a potato chip that was as close to...

A potato chip, I thought it was chips, like... No, potato chips, ones that you eat. Eat, oh okay. But Jaina flavored potato chips and... Those are chips. Why would I get Jeff these chips? Oh okay. So he can eat them.

So he can lose his virginity there in front of you. That's got me. That's a shit. But you haven't had sex before. So, and I know you guys will get to it eventually. It's really fun. You should try it out. But vagina flavored potato chips, this plate. That's not true.

Let me see this. What are you talking about? Oh, I don't understand what. Oh my God. All day today we've been recording. And all day. Anytime I say anything, Chris, he's like, that's not true. So. I don't understand what. Oh my God. All day today we've been recording it. All day, anytime I say anything, Chrissy's like, that's not true. So millennials can get laid more.

So millennials can get laid more. The reason why they are making these potato chips. And there's Lays potato chips. Dun dun dun dun. This is, yeah, that's what they say, too. They say for millennials who lack the Lays. If you can't get it up in the sack, then get it in a snack.

Chip company purports to cater to sex star 30 somethings, boasting a new flavor that tastes like a woman's Vajayjay. After tasting it, you will remember the wildest love adventures. Your first real love and even maybe the loss of your oral virginity. They claim on the website. Also the night of the Martin. The Martin's. I'm still waiting for a picture from the Martin's. I want to see the oh I have to tell you something This is the most fucking insane thing ever breaking news about the martens if you listen to the martin episode if you didn't go back and listen to the martens episode Someone on one of the applications on one of the players. Yeah claimed to have known the martens and who have been to the party lived in the small town. Now, they could be totally fucking bullshitting, right?

And just making a joke out of it. But I found that to be very fascinating that someone said they had been to the Martins. What did they say about it? They didn't say anything. They said they know the Martins. They said they know this party. They've been there before.

Martins is a very common. Yeah, but how many Martins throw a homecoming party every single year? How many have how many have seven children? No, no, no, no, no, no, come on. She just feel like you just being a contrarian today. Okay, for $9 a piece, for $9 a bag, you can get these vagina flavored chips that also are shaped like vaginas. $9. So $9.

$9. Holy shit. No inflation there. It's all inflation there because it comes in a box and you get a bag. Plus you've got to get the vagina juice that's right into the chip. The reason why they claim they have made this potato chip is based on recent science the big studies that have shown the millennials are having up to three times less sex than generations before they're more interested in being on a thirst trap like instagram that actually getting

their their their rocks are no key I can't even believe it why why would you be more interested in looking at Instagram than you would actually having real-life love? I am. We just had this conversation about your Instagram. But I didn't say I stopped having sex because of it. That's not what happened. I'm also not in that age range. So, okay. Are you ready? For the chip maker. Yeah, they're going to sell a billion of these because it's all over the news They're gonna sell a billion of these and good for them and I'm in need to order some just for research per one step ahead

You girl one step ahead of you they come out in January hey girl. Hey girl. I was just but yours Where's our guy been yeah, where's our guy Ben? He's spending he's in jail. I think The Hillsong guy Victor Revy. Yeah, Victor every, I think. The Hillsong guy. You're the Hillsong guy? Victor Revee. Yeah, Victor. Every time I think about Victor Revee, makes me think of him.

What does that mean? No, it's a, oh, this is nice. Shazz. Carl, Carl Lynch. Carl. Carl. Carl. I can't go on stage with a full dick.

I can't preach to the Lord on a full dick. I couldn't meet your health girl. Hey girl, it's me. You know, it's been a while. It's been over here trying to make it, trying to get my wife, trying to give it to my wife, not to divorce me. But I thought I'd give you a call. I'm just having to be in your mom's neighborhood, so I'm assuming buy and leave some flowers. I thought I'd jack off here on this video just to show you that I'm still pure as the

driven snow. Look at that, I've got a little jizz, I'm a little j, uh oh, I'm going to come back, you can clean it up for me, thanks girl. It's hard for me to preach on a little J. Uh-oh. I'm gonna come by you can clean it up for me. Thanks girl. You know it's hard for me to preach on a full dick. Oh, I gotta empty the reserves for the Lord. V for victory. V for the Johnny, you know, I'm saying girl. Victory V. Hey girl, it's me Carl.

I know you have a restraining order, but I just thought that you know that I'm still madly in love with my wife. But you're like, almost as good. My wife's tough having sex with me. So I thought I'd swing by. Flashy my cock. Before I go up, preach. Preach.

Hashtag preach. Hashtag preach. Hashtag penis preach. Hashtag preach and penis. Didn't you draw a load of cash off to another girl?? I dropped a load of something girl, you know I did. I did, I dropped $25,000 on a toy step. But it's all in the up and up. Just me pr- praise the Lord.

I took my Ferrari over to your mom's house, I dropped a bag of cash. I also had a Polaroid on my cock. I took my Ferrari over to your mouth and I dropped a bag of cash. I also had a Polaroid on my cock. I just wanted to do the note incentive. And it's perfect. Thanks, Carl. I appreciate it. I've got to go and do a thing. I'm trying to do a thing. I think Brian's got to do a show. I'm talking later. Oh, a best car.. Yeah, car was good. Hey, everybody, it's that time in the commercial break when we take a short commercial break.

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And thanks to AmericanMusical Supply for being a sponsor of the commercial break. So many people writing into the commercial break. Text messaging us, sending us emails. 6612378296, you know the drill, give us a text message. You know one of the things, hey, you know the drill girl. But, drop those digits right on your face, you know what I'm saying, girl.

One of the things that we're getting, a couple of things we're getting a lot of, we're getting a lot of Ask TCB, where you can ask us a question for our life advice, you know, because we're exactly who you want to go to for life advice Yeah, someone for there It's just listen to our commercials to generates Yeah, and then we'll help you. Yeah, we'll help you. Yeah, just do us a favor and buy from our sponsors

We'll be happy to send you some advice and the other thing we get a lot of is we're getting a lot of stories I sometimes I fear that people are just trying to one up each other on the craziness of the stories, but who cares? It's fun and you know what, we'll listen to what's all, what's all, yeah, but you gotta write a coherent fucking message, that's all I'm asking you. When you write disc, when you can't even write in sentences, it's unlikely to understand

exactly how to present the story. So all I ask is, you know, get a friend or something to write this story. Yeah, or an app. There's apps out there for you. Yeah, rip it off and read it like a other podcast, too. But I thought what I would do is I'd take a couple questions we've gotten for Ask TCB and I'd throw them out here

on this episode and let's see where it goes. Ask TCB. This one comes from our good friend, Tad. TAD Tad. Hey, Tad, how you doing? Thanks for writing in. He writes to 661 Best to Yo Bryan and Chrissy. I'm a 21 year old single man working at an office

as an executive salesperson. In January, we hired a new CSO Chief Sales Executive, our Chief Sales Officer, excuse me, and he is my official boss, quote unquote. He is super hot and he's a recently divorced man in his late 30s. I feel like some sexual tension has been building for a while between us.

While we have never addressed it directly, it's clear. We're flirting on the DL. I know that that office DL flirting, where you just kind of, yeah, you just give a look here, touch there. Or in the case of clear channel It was full long so DL Welcome to the weekly weekly projection meetings

I'm gonna drop a load on this girl's face broke quick and then we'll get on with projection Yeah clear channel where you just, you know, it's very overt. Yeah, it was a sexual harassment. We shouldn't say that. They're probably gonna be our employer here and like, you know, I'm just gonna get dropped some contract. Wow, it's all bad.

Yeah. I feel like some such sexual attention has been building between us. While we have never addressed it directly, it's clear what's learning on the DL. He is a very prim and proper man and he's very aware of the office rules around harassment and fratonizing that's nice

we have very strict rules about it you get fired for even flirting with superiors so or superiors or i imagine the other way around to so i feel like he's being very restrained around of course what you have to use a little bit of it is that i have a like he's being very restrained around of course. Well, he doesn't want to lose his job, he just got hired. Yeah, exactly. He's the CS, that was just never heard. That she's sales officer. I have actually, I've heard of this title,

but I feel, I can feel his energy once he gets close. It's a vibe, he must feel it too, Brian and Chrissy. That's a vibe. Last week we went to a co-workers going away party at a bar, we sat next to each other all night. We had some drinks and he got overly flirty with me But then he left early and nothing came of it right good call good call Good call yes, yes I'm at the point now where I need to say something before I explode all right settle down put your little Peter back in its pants

settle down I understand how you feel, but you can't go crazy like this. I have thought that I would even look for another job if it would help him feel more comfortable in pursuing these feelings. I know I sound kind of crazy, but I feel like it's fate we're in each other's lives. What do I do? Thanks for your advice, love you both, best of you. You're actually like an idiot, Ted. That's cute, Ted.

Yeah, best of you, Ted. And I the idiot, Ted. Yeah, that's the idiot. And I'm just gonna be real straight up with you. There are plenty of dicks in the sea, and you do not need to quit your job in order to pursue a relationship with one particular man you happen to have a pheromone exchange with. This is not a great idea. Jobs, first of all, are gonna become real scarce here pretty soon, because I don't know if you've heard, but there's a whole depression coming. So I wouldn't quit your job if you're doing well at your job.

Stick with your job. Your job is where you work. Outside your job is where you find it. Right in the farmhouse now. Right in the farmhouse now. It's hard. We've been there a lot. Literally it's hard.

And literally we've been there. Hey, Ted, it's me, Carl, your boss. I feel it too, boy. I feel it. I feel you rubbing up against my leg every once in a while at the printer. I know we're just too long lost, desperate lovers waiting for each other to quit each other's jobs, but I just gotta let you know. I'm not quitting my fucking job.

What are you, Amora? You're 10 years my junior. I just got divorced. Leave me alone. Yeah. 10 years, my junior, I just got to horse. Leave me alone. Yeah, and the other thing is, you might be reading these signals completely wrong. Some people are flirty by nature. They're like, that's just the way the day. Notty by nature, too.

Half our audience has no fucking clue we're talking about. Notty by nature. Yeah, not, but nature. Yeah, I think that some people are just, that's just like kind of the elude that sexuality and you may be interpreting these signals differently. And by the way, anybody who gets a couple of drinks in them and sits next to anybody else that is mildly attractive

is gonna start flirting with them. It's just, it's the, I mean, I flirt with the bank teller when I go there. Hey. Hey. I do. I mean, it's the bank teller when I go there I mean it's like you kind of you know, it's it's in my name. Hey Jeff It's Ryan. Yeah, I know I've been trying to get rid of holy for a while I think I've got the evidence right here on tape Call you later. Bye soon. We'll be together like it's meant to be Jeff you and me

I'm gonna stop by the apartment if you don't mind Jeff We'll take a quick bath together. I'll do your manscaping for you and fill it up. I'm gonna bring my whole right side of my, my arm wall. It's dedicated to my manscaping. I spend more on manscaping every year than most people spend on their car favorite. I don't know about that. Yeah, listen, this is... I think a lot of men are in the same bag.

Yeah, I know, but I really got like a whole, my wife hates it. She's like, just let it fly. I'm like, am I gonna let it fly? Stop tells me that, and I'm like, I'm not letting it fly. Yeah, I mean, I tell last, anyway, listen, Ted.

Ted. Ted. It's an awesome thing. Fact of Ted. Ted, don't be a dumb, dumb here. Just go to work and then go wherever else it is you find single guys. Yes. Go there.

Go the bar, Tinder, whatever. Get somebody else to, to fascinate on. Because you could be horribly mistaken here and you could embarrass yourself in, in yourself and possibly him. I think it's not about leaving his job in order to pursue a relationship with. How do you even broach that question? It's like, hey, Jim, it's me, uh, I'm quitting. Why?

Why are you quitting? Because we're in love with each other, obviously. Obviously. What? I don't even like men, Dad. Oh, you're don't. like men, Dad. Oh, you're don't. Don't quit.

Don't do this. You don't quit. Yeah. Don't quit. Unless you just hate the job, then quit. Yeah, but I don't get the impression that was the deal. Getting experience. Stay there for a year at least.

Yeah. At least a mic my dad said, when you start your new job, you should be looking for your new job. But most people stick with their careers, like, you, like stick with a job like two or three years. One to two years. Yeah, six months to seven months. Or in my case, two to three months to the removal. Yeah, don't, don't, you're, this is silly.

You've got to crush on somebody, just let it go. Get over it, that's my thing. It's fascinating on somebody else because you shouldn't be putting everybody's careers in jeopardy over a crush. And if you guys don't tell anyone else in the office what you're feeling, what you're thinking. I have a suspicion Tad has told everybody in the office what he's thinking. I have a suspicion.

He's probably telling the assistants and everybody else. All the other sales people. They probably went to like a company, Richlee, and he wrote I Heart, you know, Jim, the front of his hotel door room It's like a dick stamp. Yes On the shower. Yeah, he's like can you leave this key for Jim? The best of you dad best of you dad. We love you keep on listening bud. Yeah, don't quit your job Okay, uh STCB number two high TCB family. I have a problem and I need some help and

this one is a doozy. All right, I like doozy's. My best and by the way, how do you 60, 70, 90 years old? This one's a doozy. My best friend recently came in to see me from out of state. She's been dating a new guy and she's all excited about it. Okay, I like that. We've not seen each other since the pandemic started, so it's been some time since we had real face to face girl time. And everybody needs real face to face girl time. Who's this from? I want to make sure that I say her name. Oh, um, Carol. I'm going to call her Carol. Oh, Caroline is her name. She put it there. She wants to say Caroline anyway. Okay. Okay, it's been a long time. So we have real face to face girl time. Hi, Caroline, best to you.

When we got to dinner the first night, I wanted to hear all about the guy. Of course you want to catch up. You know, you're excited to talk about it. We've talked about him before and she showed me pictures over the phone. He was cute enough and I was happy for her and I was happy for her that she was happy. No drama that I could tell of. But when I asked about him at dinner, she broke out some pictures on her phone. Oh, no. Well, he's married to two other women. What? Literally, they are polygamists. The picture has the three of them hanging all over this sad I

To be the sister sister why I was shocked Brian you know this is your domain This is my domain. I'm about to get some about to drop some really good advice I was shocked I could not believe that she had kept this from me I and I also literally couldn't believe that she would ever agree to this kind of setup It's gross in my opinion we grew up as teens together and we went to college together And I never saw anything that would indicate she would be okay with this kind of set up. It's gross in my opinion. We grew up as teens together and we went to college together and I never saw anything that would indicate she would be okay with this kind of shit head over it. But each to their own. Is she okay with it? She's a super woman. I'm gonna give some, okay, I'm gonna give an opinion here, not some advice but an opinion. This girl is a super woman.

She's all about women's rights and she's always been very independent I know that you to agree with me on this that this is a shit bag situation But she will never I would never be and that's always said however When I told her my feelings she totally defended this and I was floored Yeah, how do I get through to her can tell her? I will send this episode to her. Her name is Leah. Please help. Okay, so Caroline, here's for Leah. Leah. Recognize studio. Hey, Leah. It's me, Carl. Sleeping with a married man is not a bad thing, but you got to keep it on the DL. You know what I'm talking about? Sleeping with a married man is not a bad thing, but you got to keep it on the DL, you know I'm talking about.

Sleeping with a married man is only good when you're sleeping with a married man and the wife doesn't know when it's all three of you together, it's bound to be a shitty situation. So I'm going to drop some cash in your front door. I'm going to drop some cash in your front door. And you take that and get yourself an airplane ticket. You know what I'm talking about? I love you. Leah, never in the history of ever has any of these situations truly worked out without

some kind of forceful, like somebody's going to get jealous. Somebody's hanging something over. That's right. Everybody's going to get jealous. Somebody's going to get jealous. Yes. And when you put yourself in a situation where you're depending on a man for everything, no matter how much you like the other women, you're gonna get stuck.

And when you get stuck, you won't be able to get out. I think Leon needs to maybe go to a swingers club. Yeah, I get the sense that this isn't about swinging. This is about she got wrapped up with a guy who now she's enamored with. And she thinks that he has like some magical dick powers because They you know and now sister-wives and we're gonna have some camaraderie I watch these television shows all the time Leah and I'm telling you what it never works out. Do you know that show? My see I'm willing to go into multi-level marketing

Multi-level marketing. That's what they're all around. Oh, yeah, that's true. Stary's her. Have you seen this show? The my 12 wives or whatever it is the one that's been on TLC for like 14 years. It's awful. It's awful And he had now that he started with five wives He's in multi-level marketing started with five wives He's down to three and one of them's leaving him He's down to two you know one in a wipe Because he's an asshole who treats these women like fucking shit because when you're in a relationship, you should be paying attention to that person.

It's hard enough with one. Let alone with five. And then you start putting kids in the mix and they're all fucked up in the head because I got five mommies and one daddy and the daddy doesn't treat them well. This is a shitty situation. That's why I'm advocating going to the swingers club.

Go. Check that out first. Glory holes. That's what you need. Glory holes. A joke. Go check out like these wingers clubs first. If you're looking for that.

Swinging is completely different than polygamy. Swinging is like sexual activity with multiple people at the same time. It's like an independent woman. Yeah, and that's why it's hard for our girl Caroline to believe that Leah would ever put herself in a position to have, like married to a guy who's got multiple wives. Leah, it's Brian and Chrissy.

Yeah. From the commercial break, you don't know us, right? We're here for a minute. And your husband probably doesn't let, your new husband doesn't let you listen to anything like this, but I'm, well, I don't know, I, I, I don't know us, right? And your husband probably doesn't let, your new husband doesn't let you listen to anything like this, but I'm married yet. Well, I don't know. I, I, I doesn't say, but I'm gonna tell you this right now.

Run, run, don't walk away from this situation. Polygamy is bullshit. What's I'm saying? Try it. Swinging first. That's like a tape in the toe. It's a toe dip. Yeah, but into multiple partners.

But if you don't like that, you're not gonna like filigamy. But let me clarify just a little bit. Plegamy in most of these situations, I mean, I get what you're saying. I know if filigamy is. But filigamy does not, they do not sleep together ever. I know, but if you're okay sharing a man

in a swinging situation, then maybe you be okay being married to your man. Put a pineapple upside down in your golf, in your shopping cart. Start there first. Start there first. See what happens. Yeah. Start sharing one man with another woman and sexually and see how that goes. Then if that's okay, if you love it and you're glad to get rid of them for a while, then

you might be into polygamy. If you like sharing a dick, you might be into polygamy. I can't believe this. It is so. I mean first then. Here's the thing is that I read that like polygamy is on the rise big time like not only now it's not only about. It's a recession. It's recession proof. Polygamy is recession proof. Death maddened some medical supplies in polygamy. So I'm a rise. If I can't even imagine what having two wives would be like, I can't imagine it. I mean, you already have me. I know.

Well, that's true. I have two wives and it fucking sucks. Neither of them like me. So get out. Head for the hills. Head for the hills. Yes. Try, try, try, you know, try a little swinging act first.

See, if you're okay If you don't get jealous everything's okay, and in fact you're ready to kind of get rid of the guy Yeah, then you might be a candidate for polygamy I'm just saying okay, we're kind of king here into I'm just I don't care what kind of king you're into I'm just explain. I'm my arts opinions are the same don't care what kind of king you're into. My opinions are the same. Don't do this. This is just silliness. You'll get over him.

He's not the best guy in the world to trust me. Think of this. Just think about that. Go back to college when you were forming your formative years, when you were looking at the world in a certain way. Your friend here says you're very independent, hardworking human being. There's so many subjective things here too. Like what religion are they how old are they again i

know i'm the voice of reason coming in here but like there's scientific study like what i mean there's a lot of factors here there are a lot and one of them is politically that's it don't go there first don't go there first did you tell the water with swinging first don't go there first, try to dip your toe in the water with swinging first. Don't do it. Are you ready for one more? Sure.

Let's do one more. This is from our boy Peter. Hey Peter, how are you? Best to you. Thanks for writing in 66123782. Peter writes that he has recently started dating a new lady. They're both in their 30s and his, congratulations.

Yeah, good for you, Peter. It's been about 10 years since Peter was in any kind of serious relationship. Oh, okay, here we go. He's been playing the field since then. He has a situation he has not come up upon in his previous dating life. And that is, 10 years ago, well in his come up upon in his previous dating life. And that is...

Ten years ago. Well, in his dating life. In his dating life. Ten years ago, he was in a serious relationship. He's just saying, I don't know what this means, dating life. But anyway, he says, my new girlfriend is interested in bringing another woman into the bedroom. Nice.

I think this is a fantastic idea. But I've heard you talk about this on the show before Brian and it sounded like it turned out miserably forced. Yes, I mean the women that kicked you out of the bedroom and said go to Charleston. I'm going to get some booze from Charleston. They told me to go get cigarettes. I came back and they were like, scissors. Yeah, they were scissors. I was like, hey, can I jump back and they were like Scissoring yeah, they were scissoring and I was like hey, can I jump back in we're good We're good. Go take a shower clean up. We'll be done in a second

Any advice we haven't brought a woman into the bedroom yet But when we go to the bars we're constantly scanning the bar for someone that would look interesting I know this is gonna happen sooner than later because my girlfriend is super sexy and she has this effect on women that they start flirting together. And I know it's gonna, basically saying I know it's gonna happen very soon. Any advice on how to mentally prepare

for the eventuality of me being in bed with two super hot chicks. Your advice will be bad, I I know but I just want some comfort. Let me know. Okay well best to you Peter. Listen here's my here's the best advice. What if this I want you mentally to think about this. Yeah run a mile eat lots of carbs get ready get a good night's sleep stock up on booze and cigarettes We get stock up on anything you could pot they could possibly ask you all of it everything Seattle is all of it

Whatever these women ask you to do in The course of the evening you fucking do it even if that means going to waffle house to get some food while they take a break together. Be prepared for the moment when you are all the sudden out of the mix a little bit and they are going at it together because now this has happened to me a couple of times and all of the times that this happened to me there is that moment when you are completely useless and at that time you're going to have to figure out what to do with yourself and now you can either do it to yourself, literally do it to yourself. Yeah. Or you can gracefully bow out for a few minutes and you know, get a water break or, yeah, watch some ESPN.

I don't know what you're gonna do there Pete, but just be prepared that this is not gonna be all about you. It's likely not gonna be all about you. Right. It's gonna be at some moment about that. Very true. This is not like, the girls are gonna be totally just all over Peter maybe for a minute and yeah, yeah Yeah, but then they're gonna want to explore their sexuality That's right and maybe two of you one there's gonna somebody's left out and a threesome always that's right

That's why I should always do a for some hey Jump in here give you some advice is me car That's why you should always do a for some. Hey, Peter, I just want to jump in here and give you some advice. This is me, Carl. Do it for the Lord. Peter, do it for the Lord. Whatever the Lord wants you to do, just get on in there. Get on in there and work hard, carry the loaves,

twist the fishes, whatever they say. Whatever they say. It's the hollars. Turn some water into wine. That's why I'll bring an olive branch. Pray a little bit. Bring in prayer book. That's what I got a

say pray love pray pray love there may be a time when you can read some Bible verses maybe right outside the door like you listen to your girlfriend getting off be prepared this is the first time your girlfriend actually be set that's fine with any love-making such a man mentally for that that's coming from a guy who knows because I've been with the Lord talking to him all day long okay I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not times. Yeah, just is. If you don't, we haven't played this episode yet, which we've made ever. We always go in the trash can. But Chris and I were talking about, so I was citing a scientific study that other people have been talking about lately that says that the more lovers you have previous to your marriage,

the more likely you are to get a divorce. And so Peter get prepared for a divorce. You only do this a few times for your likelihood of divorce. That's right. Any 50 to 1000 lovers and you're 100% like this. Thank you. That's a divorce.

Take advantage. Take advantage. It's not all about you, Peter, but I would say do it because, you know, listen. No, it's definitely not going to be all about Peter. It's going to be all about the two girls. I've had a couple of friends that I've spoken with about their three-some situations or their perception of what a three-some situation would be. And it seems like what they think it is,

it's gonna be something. You know, one girl, you know, with his dick and her mouth and the other girl like tickling his taints and for three hours. It's not how it's gonna be. Because if your girlfriend is interested in bringing another woman in the bed It's because she's sexually interested in women. Yeah, and she wants to explore that sexuality and have a dick on hand in case

Something in case they need Yes, they could have a dick on the side in case they need one at least that's why I experience now It could have been that I just Could have been that I just was unlucky and just happened to be there when they were ready to go at it. But the reality for me was, I also had this preconceived notion.

Sure, like two girls on me. Wee! When those two girls were in my bed that first time during the Olympics. They're like, Brian, just go get us some more boots. Right, there was that one point. I was in the middle and then at one point I ended up on the side of the bed and then off the bed.

It's like I just kept getting, it's kind of like my sleeping arrangements now in my house. I just keep getting pushed further and further off the bed. Now I'm sleeping on the floor. Exactly. This and Peter, you're in a great position, but you experienced it. This is like, this is a dream come true for a lot of guys.

And I know that you've probably Fanta if you're like any other you know red blooded, you know straight male then you and hey if you're red-brothered any kind of human being you've probably fantasized about having multiple lovers at the same time and I would say you guys girls girls guys on guys yeah I like having fun with girls I like having fun with guys I like having fun you girls. I like having fun with guys. I like having fun You my friend are a lucky man. So report back. We want to hear what goes on Yeah, I want to know And and if you did how'd you handle it? Yeah, Uncle Brian's telling you right now be prepared for that moment when they ask you to leave the picture

when they ask you to leave the picture. Yeah. It'll happen. You'll be fine. Just know that it's. And also know that even though it's not about you. You can just put a camera up. Yeah. So you can relive it.

You can live your embarrassment over and over again with your friends. Victory V. Victory V girl. And remember, it's not all about you, but it's also not all about you. It's not forever. Don't take it personally. It's not forever.

That's for God damn sure. I'm sorry about that right now. You could end up in years of therapy after one of those sessions. I know I did. Alright, well, this is what you do. You got to go to tcbpodcast.com. The new, not brand new, the new tcbpodcast.com. More information on Chrissy and I.

You get it to contact us, button, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at tcbpodcast.com, and also text us, 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best. The number two, Y-O-Y-O. Yeah. That's where you send your ass tcb Yo! That's where you send your ass TCBs. That's where you send your crazy stories.

That's where you look for advice. Ask Uncle Brian. And coming up very shortly, Chrissy, as promised, the world's greatest head psychic. When are we doing this? We've got to soon. When I wrap my head around exactly. I'm about to get this guy in the studio and have me in the studio at the same time.

You know what I mean? Alright, I'm working on the logistics. Don't worry about it. It's a thing. Somebody can push somebody out. We need a set change. Yes, someone can push someone else out. That's right.

So I said 6612378296 and what I'm also saying is, I'll run to the store while you in the pet psychic I'll go out I need you here We need a pair of neat tits here, curl uh... youtube.com slash the commercial break that's where the full episodes are on video Morgan does a great job

you're gonna love it, subscribe, like, comment on your favorite videos please do and add the commercial break on Instagram All right Chrissy we answered all the questions. I love you. I love you Brian. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe Until next time Chrissy and I always say we do so and we must say bye!I'm a baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby you