The Commercial Break - Hey Me, Will You Marry Me?

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

Ah, romance...with yourself? Bryan & Krissy get into an ITV interview with an Atlanta woman who married herself. Sounds like an ass cream cone to me! Bryan is sick and gross and we are sorry Our lives revolve around pollen Pollen: it’s in your car, your ass, and your nose Crotch Rot, it’s a scientific thing! We have the best listeners in the world! Astrid keeps it real Ask TCB How do you handle a friend who is cheating? Ass Cream Cone If you cheat on Bryan, he’ll be going to the tanning bed every damn day! Would you want to know if you were being cheated on? For real this time, what is a gander? (Bryan & Krissy would know this if they had ever listened to the girls group Eden's Crush and their 2001 hit 'What's Good 4 The Goose') Write in questions for Bryan’s mom! ITV strikes again, with people who married themselves! Meg Taylor Morrison married herself after her 3 year relationship ended She says its self-love, but we can’t get past the imagery Have we found the next Dalai Lama? She seems sane… Alas, she is a life coach LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producer: Bryan Green Content Production & Research: Tina Khano Executive YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Executive Audio Producer: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavooo! Episodic Content Contributor: Marianne W Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's plenty of women out there that you want to be friends with, and there's a lot of women out there you want to have sex with. But if you can find one that you can be friends with, and have sex with, henceforth, rock of love. On this episode of the commercial break... I mean, I get under... I do understand like that need to put yourself first and after a break up. That makes total sense. That makes total sense. That makes total sense. What does not make total sense is getting up on an altar and putting a mirror in front of yourself and reading your vows aloud.

I've been to, by the way, I've been to lots of like ayahuasca retreats where this happens regularly. Just go to a yoga retreat. You'll fall in love with yourself. Don't worry. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend, Kristen Joy,

totally best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Still fighting a bit of the shits here with my throat, so you know, just... And now I've got it too. I know. I told the editor, I told Christina, I'm like, listen, if you think that my voice sounds too shitty,

just let me know. And I'll ignore your... I'll ignore you. I'll ignore that. Yeah, I'll ignore that. Man, the last three days, I did not have a voice at all. It was so throaty and flemmy. And it's crazy

I think it's like it's like the allergies come and then the sinus infection inevitably comes also Exactly and it's just so bad like in in Atlanta for those of you that don't live in the south and deal with this type of pollen Congratulations congratulations best user That's the year. Yeah, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. higher life revolves around is filled with never stops thinking about pollen because it's an allergy medication. And allergy medication if you're allergic and if you're not allergic don't worry just wait a few years and you'll get allergic because that's what happens to everybody that moves

into this fucking town is that those damn trees sometimes you drive it down the road like a highway and it's you know the highway is lined with these big pine trees, these tall pines here in Georgia that are, you know, famous for being here in Georgia. If a tree can be famous, I'm not sure a tree can be famous, but you're driving down the road. And if it's a sunny, clear day, and it's been dry for a few days, if you, if it's just the slightest wind breezes by,

and you literally see like a cloud of yellow dust travel across the highway. And guess where that's going? It's going in your fucking car, in your fucking ass, and in your fucking nose. It's going everywhere. And you just can't get rid of it. I know. Well, I think we've got the double double going on right now because I saw via the weather channel app grass pollen.

Now it's fucking grass pollen. So anyways, yeah, it grass, Paul and fucking asshole. So anyways. Yeah, it's, it's a whole thing. But it's not the pot, even though that Paul and can certainly like, disturb breathing if you're, if you have sensitive, like, you have asthma or something, that type of yellow, Paul and that you see that falls like snow this time of year is not the dangerous kind.

It's not the kind that bothers you. It's all the other whatever the fuck they call it, the mucus, Paul and or whatever. I was telling, I was telling that would be, I hope blue doesn't die because blue. I got out of the car here. Speaking of trees. Yeah, your house and ready to record and blue, it's a beautiful day here.

It's gorgeous. You open the door, blue comes running out. It's a three inches of pollen, it's gorgeous. Well, right, right. The sky is beautiful. Yeah, it is. Blue comes running out and stops at this little patch of the yard. And I'm like, hey, blue, because you normally should come running up to me, lick me, go crazy.

And she stopped right there and I said, blue, she didn't even look up. Yeah. And here she was obsessed with whatever was on the ground. It's like the time that I found her rolling around in a dead monkey chip as my daughter calls him, which is a chip, but she calls it monkey chips. It's like blue rolling around in dead animals out in the back. The fucking shittier the smell, the more blue is attracted to it, because I have this thing. You ever heard the term crotch rot?

Of course you have, right? Crotch rot, is it? Is it that way you get it festivals? That is on day three. Still doesn't matter, you're gonna have sex anyway. The exercise, you're just coming down from the ex-disease. Your endorphins are dead, you need something to bring you back up.

Let's have a good fuck in the 10. Ah, she's got crotch rot. Crotch rot is an actual scientific term that is used for a certain disease that affects trees. They get wrought in their crotch. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Are you, are you gonna go with scientific term? Or is that just a nickname of it?

No, I think it's the actual scientific term that they use. They use it, they say, yeah, you go a little bit of Crotchrot. Ah, ah, ah. It's probably the British, you know, they talk over there. It just sounds good when they say it. So the crotch rot comes from this disease, rotten wood disease. And what happens is you get this disease in the tree,

and it kind of emulsifies the inside of the tree. And so all the water that the tree is carrying will find it, will leach its way out, whichever hole happens to be there, right? So most of the time it's in the crotch. She makes her most sense. But what happened is I cut a tree down in my yard. I haven't had the stump removed yet.

I cut the tree down, and it got this disease, and now all the roots that run all along my front yard in certain places where they have been nicked or like around the driveway, they have started bubbling water up. It's like a puddle of water. Puddles are around my yard. And at first I was like, oh shit, we got a leak in the,

in that house. And I, I'm not a grown adult. I don't know what to do about that stuff. What do you call the 911? I'm not sure, I don't know. But after investigation and smelling it, which was the smell of death. It was as if my daughter had shit in a diaper

and then we rolled around in a dead monkey chip and then we put it in the water. Well, guess what? This is Blue's new favorite treat, is crat drop. Yeah. Also highly toxic to dogs and humans. Like, so Blue goes out to meet Chrissy and I'm like, you know, I let her in, I let her out

because I don't want her barking and then it wakes up the baby. So I'm like, oh, she's not around, she'll go say hi to Chrissy and get, you know, hopefully she gets run over by a car or something out of her. So she runs out there and then next thing I know, the entire puddle of this crotch rot water is gone. Blue has eaten it and now blue smells like crotch rot.

So congratulations, we're all gonna die. The crotch rot. We're off to a great start. We're off to a great start. It's a happy week here at TCB. Another week of no respect here at TCB. Just let you know. Speaking of no respect, I got an interesting,

oh, I want to mention this real quick. We have the best fans fans listeners in the world. I hesitate to call them fans because that's a little weird. It's a little sick of fanfic. But we have the best listeners in the world. These reviews that we get are so outstanding and some of them just like so filled with love and wit and I just wanna say thank you

and our email has been blowing up. Blowing up. One guy said he got through the entire season in the last four months. Are we still giving away stickers? He's like, I think his name is Alex. Was it Alex? Let me see here real quick so I can remember.

He said, you know, hey, I just got through all the, I started listening from the beginning, which is the exact opposite of what we would recommend. Start from today and then stop on the last episode. Only go two episodes deep. We don't want you to go too far back. But then he said, hey, listen, you know, I just got to the part where you guys started

giving away stickers. Are you still giving away stickers? It's Alex, our good friend Alex from North Carolina. So he says, you know, if you're still giving away stickers, I'd like to have it. But then just these other emails were, they're just so filled with love. I just wanted to tell Chrissy, you know, I love her,

and all those stuff. Most of them are directed toward you and not toward me. I like to think it's just an oversight. A slight oversight. But most of the love goes for you. And that's okay, I'm, you know, I'm an asshole, I know. Oh, I've seen some Brian love, dude. Don't be English, you're an asshole.

I do want to say thank you, like we are. We're becoming coming because they make us laugh. We can't directly respond. We can't respond to the emails. We can't directly respond to the reviews. But please keep them coming because we read every single one of them and they make us laugh. I'll screenshot them. We'll send them back and forth to each other. Right. Look at this one. It's awesome. They are. They're so great. For every 10, we get one bad one. You know, here's the funny thing about it.

Here's the funny thing about it. It's real. Yeah. And you know what I've noticed, I was telling Astrid this the other day, the commercial break, while we certainly have reached some milestones, like 10 listeners in a week and now we're almost at 11 listeners a week, we reach these milestones and it's kind of been like a slow role, right? Over the last 40 years, it's been a little bit at a time and now we get of a

gathering moss and now we get one or two comments a year and I'm just so excited about it but for every 10 comments we get that one person that doesn't care for the commercial break so much and the crazy thing is I'll read those nine other comments and then it's that one shitty comment where I'm like I'll read those nine other comments, and then it's that one shitty comment where I'm like, motherfucker, like it gets sticks in my crawl. I love the, I love the love ones, but then it's that one angry guy

that I'm just like, fuck man. I kinda like seeing it, because to me it keeps it real. It's like, okay, well, as we know, we're not for everyone. That's true. But they took the time to actually write the review. He did.

One guy wrote, just bad there. I saved you What was it? Yeah, I saved you an hour just terrible there. I saved you an hour But you know we get We can't all be winners Chrissy and not everybody's gonna like the commercial break. You can't please everybody No, you can so I'm just aim know, if I can get my wife one over at some point in the near future, same with Jeff. Oh yeah, Jeff would like the show.

I think we're in good position. Astrid keeps it real with me. I gotta be real honest. I have no fear of getting a big head about any, not that we're like some big rock, rock stock podcast or anything, but I have no fear of getting a big head even from the small amount of listeners that we have

because Astrid always keeps me in check. She'll be like, you know, whatever, let's say, oh look, you got so many downloads today and I'll be like, great. And she's like, go change Miranda's diaper. And I'm like, wait, I was gonna walk around. Peacock, I was gonna peacock around a little bit. Peacock.

I was gonna do a little peacocky. And she's like, nope, you forgot to pay the power about that. So I'm going to the tanning bed. Oh man. Okay, I got to ask TCB and we're gonna muddle through this somehow. We're gonna muddle through somehow. I can't even sing. Listen to my voice, that sounds awful.

Okay, I'm gonna kind of dance around this email a little bit. I don't wanna give away any identifying information. Okay. Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink. Okay, it says, dear TCB, I have a, I need a piece of advice. I have a dear friend who has been cheating on their loved one for almost a year. I absolutely object to this type of behavior.

I think it's bad. I think it's mean. I think it's wrong. And I don't believe that they should be carrying on two relationships at the same time without anybody's knowledge of the other one. What is the advice you would give? Cheating, yes or no, and how would you handle this situation with your friend?

Okay, so this is a great question. Cheating, yes, obviously, we approve of cheating. Cheating is a plus. You got to cheat, it keeps things real, it keeps things interesting, it keeps everybody on their toes. Yeah, so I say, good mistress every once in a while is the key to a long lasting relationship.

You just got to make sure your wife doesn't find out about it, because if she finds out about it, then it makes it too interesting and then you're probably gone too far. So you got to keep it under wraps. So I approve of all the under wraps shit. I, you know, I'm not a,

I'm not one to suffer cheating. Like I think the cheating is probably the end of the relationship as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, I mean, I think at this point in our lives you've been cheated on. I've been cheated on. It's a relationship. Yeah, I mean, it happens.

You know how it hurts and it really hurts. And I would never want to do that to somebody else. So that's my version of it. Keep communication open. If you, Jeff and I have said this to each other, like if we ever come to a point where we think we might want to cheat, we gotta have a serious talk about it.

Yeah, I agree with you. I think if you keep communication open and you know, listen, I've also had that conversation with people who then have cheated on me. So I don't, you know, listen, I've also had that conversation with people who then have cheated on me. So I don't, you know, I don't always, I know that humans are just humans. Incentation is everywhere. And sometimes you just meet somebody

who you have a spark with. And if you don't have a lot of self-control, that you can get yourself in trouble real quick. Especially if there's drinking your drugs around like that shit just, it can always go sideways. It never works out. When you meet somebody at the bar and you're drunk and all of a sudden they start hitting on you

or you start hitting on them. Yeah, you got the beer goggles on. Yeah, exactly. Beer brain on. Yeah. So my advice on how you handle this with your friend is to tell your friend that you don't respect this behavior because I think if your friend

is truly your friend, loves and cares about you like you love and care about them seems like that they will understand or they will be upset by the fact that you disrespect this behavior. It's not that you need to get involved. It's that you should tell your friend, I really am not agreeing with this behavior in the hopes that they see that this is something that's really not cool and that the other people around them believe it's not cool. It's like a little pure pressure to do the right thing. Now, will that end up being, they do the right thing?

Who knows? If they've been cheating for a long time and getting away with it, they might just want to have their cake and eat it too. Well, and also too, I feel like there's a little bit of a difference between like one night thing Not that either one's better than the other but there is a difference between a one night one mistake Oh my god thing and like a year totally

Totally 1000 percent Yeah, I mean listen when I say cheating and I'm done with it. I'm saying relationship cheating now I hope Astrid's not listening to this. Let me put on the Astrid, let me put on the Astrid Ometer here so that we can make sure that Astrid doesn't hear any of this. Hold on one second here.

Oh, where did it go? Oh, here it is. Okay, so that little noise right there turns off Astrid's radio or Spotify or whatever she's listening to it on some. We can talk freely now. We can talk freely now.

Here I just did the Jeff one too. So Jeff and Astrid are out of the mix. If you accidentally ask cream cone somebody at a bar, you know what an ask cream cone is, don't you? Oh, they take somebody and you lick their ass like an ice cream cone. Yeah, it know what an ass cream cone is, don't you? Totally. I can guess. So when you take somebody and you lick their ass like an ice cream cone, yeah, it's called an ass cream cone. Yeah, just made it up. It can be, there's a difference between like a moment of passion and a long drawn out relationship where real feelings are involved. It's potentially you're saying I love

you to multiple people. Yeah, that's awful. Listen, this ain't brother husband here, you know what I'm saying? Right. I don't want another guy in the mix. If you don't care for me, leave me the checkbook, take blue, and then let's just call it today. That's exactly right?

That's what I say. If you add an accidental slip up, you went out one night. It's still very hurtful. And I'm going to hold it over your head for the rest of your life. I will be going to the tanning bed whenever I fucking want to. I will be doing whatever I do. I'm, please, for the rest of my life. But you can stay around that gas. I mean, I think that's where you can maybe get some therapy involved in that to try and help move past that one in discretion.

But I can't get past a year. A year. Human genome free year. A year? And no one knows. But it's the same person. Yeah, it's not good. And I can also, without trying to be too judgmental here, shit does happen.

Like this happens all the time. People carry on relationships all the time. I ever tell you about this one. I'm not, I shouldn't give away too much detail, but I had a family member in in law. And this in law was like the coolest guy that I've ever met on earth. He was like two years younger than me.

He worked for a posh clothing and accessory brand. Like one of the really posh ones, right? Flue all around the world. Kind of a habidashory, you might be right about that. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I think that's what I would be tell us. Yeah, you know wallets and watches and shit like that, right? I'm not tied, but think of like the top of the top of the top of the end of those things not Rolex But like between Rolex and Cassio somewhere around there So this guy and he was a young guy and it was the family business his dad was the CEO of the business

He was like a young You know nepotistic kid running around have a dasher running around all over the place And it was the family business. His dad was the CEO of the business. He was like a young, you know, nepotistic kid running around. Habadasharer running around all over the place. And he told me without fear or favor within days of meeting him about his dad, his uncle, his grandfather, his brothers, everybody in the family all had mistresses at one brothel

down in Venezuela. I mean, not of Venezuela, excuse me, down in Costa Rica. In Costa Rica, they would go down to this brothel and they had all met lovers that turned into girlfriends, like full-time mistresses down there. And everybody in the family did it. It was like a family thing. They all did it for years and years this went on. Years and years and years.

So finally, I asked, where is this place? Where is this place? I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can, I can't, I can't, I can, I can, I can't, I can, I found Astrid and she was not working at a brothel just to be clear. So I So I understand that in some cultures and in some families and in some circles. This is completely acceptable behavior. It's just what goes on But that's not most of society. Most of society says, when you're in a monogamous relationship, you've made that choice, that you should stick with monogamy, and if you're gonna be a douche canozel

and have relationships all over the place, be woman enough, man enough, to explain to everybody what's going on. Let them make the choice. Well, that's my point here too, because I've seen a lot about this recently to the non-monogamy in it, and you know, explore that. True.

Monogamy is not for everyone, but you gotta have communication. Yes. Everybody involved. It can't be secret. Explore. The secret part might even be the worst, the worst hurtful part of it. I agree with you, a thousand percent. Non-monogamy, explore it between the ages of 19 and 23 and then again at 47 to 52 do that.

And the second time around get a show on TLC. It'll help absorb some of the bills and explain to your family members what you're doing. But the reality is, you know, there are lots of people who still choose monogamy and when you choose monogamy and then you go the route of having multiple lovers in multiple places or multiple girlfriends or boyfriends, that's a really hurtful thing to do. Now here's the question that this girl should have asked that wasn't asked. If she could go right now and tell this guy, presumably it's a guy, they say they, I don't know. If she was to go and tell this guy, let's assume, she has the power to break this all open, right?

She knows. And she's been told, if you, this is the second time we've asked this question on this show in, in 2023, if you had an opportunity to know that your spouse was cheating on you or not know anything at all about any of that stuff, what would you choose? In other words, if I said in this hand, is the answer to whether or not Jeff is cheating on you? Do you want me to open my hand? Yes. Yes. 100%. 1000%. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see it any other way. Yeah. I don't see it any other way. I don't see it any other way.

I don't want to turn a blind. And that means we didn't even have the connection I thought we had. And then what was I doing thinking that we had this connection? Like I would want to be out of it. Yeah, I agree with you. I can out with it. Out with it. Get out with it.

Now, here's another question. Follow up question. Nothing to do with this, B-C-B. But I thought I would ask it anyway. Okay. If you could know the day of your death, would you want to know? I would be glad to ask that before too.

Have we? No. No, no, that's, see, it's not, what's good for the goose is not good for the gander. And while we're on that subject, I would like to- It's not the same death and then a shading spouse. It's not at all.

It's too totally different. It's not the same applies to the goose, for the goose, good for the gander. But I wanted to make that statement, because I wanted to share with you that I am wrong again, It's not at all. It's totally different. It's not at all. It's totally different. It's not at all. It's totally different. It's not at all. It's totally different. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's totally different. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not at all. It's not is a female goose. A gander is a male goose. So what's good for the goose is good for the gander is good for the woman, good for the man. And one of our listeners pointed this out to me. Thank God. She had to write an email to point out how wrong I am again.

I think I might have been the one that said the gander. You said in the email? No. Oh no, you were saying. I think I was the one who said that the gander was a flock of geese. Oh, yeah, it was totally she was wrong Fucking how they once I was wrong once you were wrong. Yeah, usually I was at least stays out of it She's smart enough to know I'm not gonna put myself out there like that

On that guy that goes here's my neck chop it off So a goose is a female is a female is a female goose or is it a goose can be either or But then a gander is the actual male. I think so Cuz you know that there are those situations with the animals where one is like Both sexes. Oh, yeah, but then another one is specifically than anyway. Yeah, keep going have no idea. Okay, go back to the story so the you know so the

The point is I Think you don't get involved directly because it's not your place to get involved directly That's a relationship that this person has been carrying on for a while. And you don't get involved directly, no, no, no, no, no, then the person can be mad at you. Yeah, then they're mad at you. And then I don't bring you in. And then the other person's mad at you because you told them it turns into a whole fucking day.

Yes, stay out of it. By the end of episode of Jerry Springer, but give them disdainful looks every time you see them. Yes. You know what? When you're at the bar, like go like like point, like when they're not when this girl is not looking, point to the guy and go make the little fuck things with your fingers or just go, I have a secret to tell you, but I can't tell you. But I can't tell you. But I just wanted you to know I do have a secret. I'm going to keep it from you for a really long time. Yes, I have a secret about your marriage.

Things are going horribly wrong, but I don't want to get directly involved. So look from an email from your friends friend at Yahoo.com. That way I'm not directly involved. I would say this is how you approach it. Go to the bar, sit your friend down, you say first and foremost, you're paying for my drinks for the rest of my life or until you tell your friend until you tell your boy. That is a good start. Yes, that's it. I've gotten many of free drink this way. You say, I'm going to let all your personal secrets, unless you start paying for my beer, which is a great way to keep friends around, by the way.

And then you say, I don't respect the behavior that I'm seeing from you. And I just wanted to share with you that while I'll always love you, I don't like you right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's what my mom used to say to me. Me too. And man did that hurt when she was like, I will always love you, but I don't like you right now.

My mom said that too. And I'm sure I'm going to say to my kids someday, but that really fucked me up. I was like, wait, my mom doesn't like me. My mom doesn't like me. Just right now. Yeah. Just right now. No, no, no, no. My mom would, wait, my mom doesn't like me? My mom doesn't like me. Just right now. Yeah. Just right now. No, no, no, no, no.

My mom would just leave it as I don't like it. Oh, I would say right now. Right this minute. Your mom took better parenting classes than my mom did. Speaking of my mom, my mom's crazy. She's a total, she's lovely, but she's like totally off it. I was thinking we should have some people write in and ask my mom questions, and then I'll get my mom on the phone to answer them.

I like that. You know, we did this bag at 967 The Legend, and it seemed to go great. So I'm thinking, because you can ask my mom anything. You want to talk about anal? Ask my mom about anal. She has no idea what that is, but she'll answer the question anyway She'll pretend like she does Ryan I can't do the voice right now it hurts, but you know Brian, what's he doing? He's thinking of phones. Whatever happened to our phone. What's an ass cream cone? Oh Yet another

Dinch project here at DCV I knew it I knew it I I knew it. I could not for the life of me. I get this phone. I get this great idea. I'm like, let's take live calls on the show. People can dial in. We encourage people to take a call.

We encourage people for like five episodes to call this phone number. I have the phone number. It works. But the problem is, I didn't realize I would need a $7,000 piece of equipment to actually make that phone line go into this box. I was like, how can you not be able to hook this up in three steps? And then I thought to myself, it's 2023, Brian.

I called support and they're like, do you have a cell phone, dude? Bluetooth it. And I'm like, no, I'm using a phone. And they're like, I know, just Bluetooth it. And I'm like, no, I'm using a phone and they're like, I know, just Bluetooth it. And I'm like, no, it's an actual phone. And they're like, I know, just Bluetooth it. What are you doing? And I'm like, there is no Bluetooth.

It's an actual phone, like a phone from 1982. Like a cord. With a cord. And then the guy said, oh, forget about it. You got to buy one of these pieces of, could be happy to sell it to you. Maybe we need to have like a burner found or something. That's what I thought too, is let's go to Walmart and buy a jitterbug so that I can,

yes. Let's buy a jitterbug in every once in a while and we'll press the help button and see who they send. Yes. Okay, speaking of cheat, so anyway, the phone line, TBD, TBD. TBD, TBD. TBD, TBD. We'll see, if anybody decides to pay us any time

and a reasonable amount of time, we might think about investing in that piece of equipment. But until such time, you will not be getting live phone calls. That's your fault out there. You demanded it. Speaking of cheating, what is the best way to avoid cheating spouser lover? You mean before you marry them or what do you mean avoid them?

Think about the action plan that takes cheating out of the mix. If you're already married? Nope, if you're not married, but if you want to get married and you want to take cheating off the table Okay, besides cutting off someone's willy-hoo-hoo You know what it is It's getting married to yourself and I have found that this is a trend Well, that's happening more frequently than we think I didn't think about that good friends at ITV I've got a couple of them. So I've actually got two videos from ITV

that ITV have got a couple of them. So I've actually got two videos from ITV. Listen, we are way behind the eight ball, Chrissy. These people at ITV are on it. They understand the world around us. We're just following up. Our good friends at ITV have found a couple of ladies who have married themselves. And one, quote unquote, divorced herself

because she cheated on herself. I don't know who knows. It's all for publicity you know it is but without further ado I was trolling on the internet. As you do. I do do. G-C-B. Hey you, guess you. I hate to interrupt all the fun but I just want to remind you that tcbpodcast.com is where you find all the audio and the video

plus you can contact us to get your free 21EPM sticker. Just go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to stick or drop us your address and off we go. Plus you can write to us at 855-tcb-8383, that's 1-855-tcb-8383 for all of our international listeners. We'll pick up the toll, go ahead and text us. If you have comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at 855-TCB-8383. If you want to view the commercial break in a whole new light, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to see the fully edited episodes.

You'll love it, or your money back, I promise. While you're at it, hit us up on Instagram at the commercial break and T.C.B live on TikTok. So let's take a minute to hear from our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. ATCB Universe, I wanted to let you know that Hatch sponsors this episode. You know I have 12 to 15 children. It seems like there's a new one every single year, and there's two words that fill me with more dread than any other.

Sleep, training, we've learned a few things about putting a child to bed, and we've learned that routine is most important. But even with a great routine, sometimes you need a little help, and that's why Astrid and I use Hatch. The new and improved second generation Hatch Rest makes sleep better and more magical for the entire family. This all-in-one Hatch Rest is a smart sleep device with a sound machine and night light that grows with your child.

Even the youngest of our brood is getting a hatch as part of their bedtime routine. Babies love the continuous sound of white noise and lullabies for soothing and comfortable sleep environment, and toddlers and big kids sleep independently with colors and sound cues. We've been using Hatch and their easy to use application to change bedtime from a nightmare to a good night. And right now Hatch is offering up to 15% off of your purchase of a Hatch rest and free shipping at Hatch.co slash TCB that's Hatch.co slash TCB. So if you're ready for improved sleep with your children and yourself go to Hatch.co slash

TCB to get up to 15% off and free shipping. One more time, that's hatch.co-tcb. This is a product that we use, we're falling in love with it, and the kids know it's time to go night night when they see the nightlight of Hatch. Thanks Hatch for becoming a sponsor of The Commercial Break. Marshall break. I found a lady who married herself and it just so happens to be on ITV, one of our favorite morning shows. Oh my god, they're so good.

They're so good. So good. I'm really slow on these today. Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there it is. That's so good. That's so good. I wish that was a clear... Yeah, it doesn't sound so. It was great in theory to put that clip in there.

I've only played it twice because it doesn't sound good. All right, here's ITV. Now our next guest was left heartbroken when her three-year relationship ended, despite her always dreaming of a wedding day. However, Meg Taylor Morrison found an unusual way of moving on when she decided to have her own big day and marry herself. We'll make a joint this now to tell us more. And good morning. Hi, I noticed that.

Yeah. What a, girls can be so caddy. So caddy. I think Taylor Swift concert was this weekend here in Atlanta. Yeah, Astrid when so I was looking through pictures Right, and I thought that I mean everyone was so dressed up and sparkles and boas and pretty dresses and all this and all that And I thought of how much backbiting is going on right now at that concert Don't you make thank you for joining us this morning. So we just said that. Oh, she's in Atlanta. Did you see that?

No. She's in Atlanta. It's a live from Atlanta. Wow. The interview, this intro, this started with heartbreak, didn't it? Yeah, it absolutely did. My partner and I of three and a half years decided to end our relationship this past summer. And it was a mutual decision, but mutual decisions don't always make it

any easier. Yeah. Of course. And how did you talk about it? Oh yeah, Meg. Now you're a therapist. Saddle down. Marriage.

We had. We really had. And like so many couples during the coronavirus pandemic, we had a lot of conversations about what was next for us and in the end, we just decided it wasn't quite the right bit. Please suck. What's next for us and in the end we just decided it wasn't it wasn't quite the right thing. Puse suck. What's next for us? I'm going to cheat on you. I'm sleeping with your mom.

I don't know what's next for you but I'm going to go hit your mom's ass real quick. I'll be back. So where did you go from there then? So you sort of recovering from a broken heart essentially and then you start thinking about getting pizza. Did you think about pizza, Meg? No? Ben and Jerry.

We married. And this time, to yourself. Yeah. Well, I'd heard of something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really excited about it.

She is. I know this woman, I think. That marriage is before. And I'd always had this dream of getting married on Halloween 2020. And I thought, why? Why? What? Meg, what's going on? I know. I had the dream. Hey, listen, Meg, I'm in Atlanta.

We can sit down and have cup coffee. You want to figure it out? Halloween. Yeah, you know, 2020. I've always dreamed of having my wedding on Halloween 2020. It's a random. It's a super specific date. Yeah. Just marry myself.

It could be really fun. And I had my Pinterest board like so many young women do and just decided to make it a reality and to really turn it into a commitment to self love and taking care of myself and putting myself first because I think that any Good relationship whether it's with ourselves or with other people begins with really having more appreciation for ourselves Well, you certainly showed everybody else Your friends are probably like Wait, hold on Meg you want us to come to a wedding for yourself? Is there is there like somebody else involved in the marriage?

Nope, gonna have a mirror right there. Did you see the picture? She, he was, some guy was holding up a mirror while she was reading her files. This is so funny to be, I'm sorry. I understand the commitment to self-love and all that. But yeah, I mean, that's a good practice, but to go through with a ceremony for it with a mirror. I wonder if there was open bar, because if there's open bar, it's so worth it.

I wonder if she convinced her dad to pay for some of this because if she did, then I say, yeah, man, good call. You go, girl. So you then think I'm bearing in mind that this doesn't have any religious. I'm engaged. Yeah. I'm engaged. That's what I thought you guys just broke up. Well, we did, but I asked myself to marry myself,

and I said, yes. We did, and then last night I was whacking it hard. I was on the floor sticking a vibrating tooth brush up my ass, and I said, I really love myself. Who better to get married to than myself? Hey, myself, do you want to get married to myself? You do? That's great news. Let's call mom and dad and tell them. Hey, myself, do you want to get married to myself? You do. That's

great news. Let's call mom and dad and tell them. Hi, mom. Hi, dad. It's me. She and me. She said yes. Yeah. She said yeah. With a picture of me whacking off with a toothbrush on my ass. I knew it was love. It's not legal, obviously. But you decide to tell your family and your friends. Your mum was a bit unsure about this at first. Yeah, she was. She said, quote unquote, you're fucking crazy. She said, I'm not paying for another wedding to yourself,

so forget about it. You can get divorced from yourself as many times you want to, She said, I'm not paying for another wedding to yourself. So forget about it. You can get divorced from yourself as many times you want to, but we're not paying for another fucking wedding. She was. She was a little bit nervous that it might be seen as egotistical or that people would take it the wrong way. But we had a great conversation about it.

And in the end, I said, you know, this is really my chance to put down people pleasing to trust myself and what I want and what I see the difference this could make for me. She crying at home, wetting to herself. Mm-hmm. I mean, I get under, I do understand like the need

to put yourself first and after a break up. That makes total sense. That makes total sense. What does not make total sense is getting up on an altar and putting a mirror in front of yourself and reading your vows aloud. I've been to, by the way, I've been to lots of like, ayahuasca retreats where this happens regularly. Just go to a yoga retreat. You'll fall in love with yourself. Don't worry.

Hey, and for other people who attend the wedding and who knows, maybe for some people watching the show and once she got the idea of what it was, the meaning behind it, she really came around and she's my biggest supporter anyway. So I'm not surprised. You had to kind of be open to friends helping you and getting more involved. So let go a little bit of my pride's made. Listen, I have not found a penis for the wedding night.

Would you mind jumping in there putting on this big life-sized mask of me, going ahead and fucking me? Oh, man. Eee. I think it's all the Ascative of the Bridesmaid. Although I didn't see any Bridesmaids up there, so. Yeah.

She probably got a couple like, yeah, I think I'm busy that day. Yeah, about a town that we can tell. Man, I'm out of town, but I'll be there. Can I come and ask one favor? No photographs of me? Because if that's possible, I can be there. Of control. And you said that was quite an important lesson in self love. That was the biggest gift that I gave myself during the wedding was releasing any attachment to how things would go, which was great because we had a wedding cake disaster,

lots of things didn't go as planned. But in the end, because I'd already decided that it would all be perfect, I just got to relax and have a wonderful day. Well, this girl is like having she is great, just she's great about everything. Everything was perfect. She let go of all attachments. She seems really sane watching. I think talking. I think we found the next I'm picturing to like the hand on the hand of the cutting of the cake. Yeah, I'm putting my hand on top of my own hand. I'm cutting the cake. That's swishing face.

Swishing cake in my face twice. Yeah, she seems relatively sane on on first glance. I wonder what she's like in a relationship. Oh, I mean, the thing is that with something like she knows. Yeah, only she will ever know. Oh, she is putting her. Oh, she's cutting her own cake herself. What's going on with her skin? I think it's like Halloween. Oh, it's a Halloween. Oh, it's like a, like, she said, we're looking at a picture where she's cutting her own cake for herself and her own wedding for both herself and her own wedding And she's got a wedding dress on I suppose and then she's got some kind of is that like a sleeve tattoo? Or is that like a just like kind of dirt?

And I'm like she's corpsey It's Halloween. Yeah, interesting. Look at the people in the background with beers. I know. They're like, hey, this is tolerably, I've never been to it. Well, this is better than going to the bar in the corner again. I've never been to a marry myself wedding. We all need something positive. We all need a bit of fun.

Those sort of get together in a minute is a hell of a get together with the family. But we all need a bit of fun, we all need to get together with ourselves and party and all that. But do you consider yourself just a little bit crazy? Did you say to pre-know? Tell me about the honeymoon. You know he's going there. You've got this moment where you walk down the aisle and I'm assuming you put the ring on your own finger.

I mean, we could see you kissing the mirror there when you can kiss the bride. Yeah, I put the ring on my own finger. It was a ring actually that my mom had purchased me when she found out I was looking for a ring Which I'm wearing right now and It was a great time for me to share one that my mom had picked it out and that sometimes self love means letting others take care of you It's not that you have to do it on your own or do it by yourself. It can be a true community experience So why do I feel like if we looked this person up that they would be like some kind of self-help guru or TikTok influencer or something along those lines?

For sure. She's using all the activation verbiage that I hear so much in some circles of friends, right? Yeah. Get on my own finger. But again, I want to share that there's no harm, no foul here. Megwan's going to, no foul here. Meg wants to get married to herself.

Oh, good. And if you're doing that to better yourself, well, then God bless you. It's her money. Well, listen, I think it's more ridiculous to go to a Catholic church, but it is to marry yourself. My cows to myself, and then I gave myself a big smooch in the mirror.

And all you open to, you know, I did not. Are you open to fucking other people? Would you be open to cheating on you? Would you be open to cheating on you? Works, but if you were to meet somebody else, would you be opening to... Oh, sorry. People in the marriage. Well, you know, sorry. People in the marriage. Well, you know, nowadays.

No, I'm not. I'm looking for an additional mood to get married to. Sister me's. Sister me wives. You know, I don't think I'm going to want to. I really am really enjoying this marriage so far. So, carry on. Oh, I would be open to marrying someone else. Any good relationship starts with a good relationship with ourselves. So I feel like I'm better prepared for my next partnership.

So I know you were concerned that it might look selfish but so we're all concerned that it might look ridiculous. Maybe a little bit narcissistic but it has really encouraged you to look at yourself so as you sit here now married woman at yourself. So as you sit here now, married woman to yourself. As you sit here now, a married woman to yourself. It's so great. I can't imagine. This girl lives in our town. I can't imagine like one of my dipshit friends walking up there and hitting on her in a bar. And she's like, well, I'm really trying to activate myself. And he'll be like, ah! What is it?

What is it? Change in your attitude to you. I didn't expect that vow that I made to myself that morning to really release perfectionism and just accept things as they are to have such a major impact on me. But it's something I think about often, and I now understand even better the purpose of a wedding band because it's a token, it's a symbol, it's a talisman to a commitment that you've made. And so just by...

Blah blah blah, it's extra money you got to spend. That's what I say. I'm pawning Aster's rings if we don't get payment soon. Looking at my ring every day, it really helps remind me to put down perfectionism, to breathe, to enjoy things as they come. And it's just made life more more peaceful and lovely. Are you wearing on your wedding? More peaceful. What is what is in eastful as she's made to say useful? I'm not just easy. Peaceful.

Peaceful. Oh, she's but she said eastful. Yeah, I think I just don't. I'm not about to tell. I'm not about to buzz people for mispeaking, except for Frankie. Who does it every third one? Yeah. Is it?

No, I don't think so. No, so there's room for another one then. I, um, yeah, well, I've still got space for whoever comes along. Leaving. Yeah! Let's leave it on a high note. You're not crazy. I like that.

I like that. Always feel sleepy or I'll be too so free. I think it's a lovely idea. I do too. I did too. I did too. I did too. I bounced yourself.

Did you get a honeymoon? Hopefully, yeah Not yet, you know COVID, but I'm hoping I'm hoping to take myself somewhere special After this is all over. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love it to talk to you Thank you. Love to talk to you send us pictures from the honeymoon news. Nudes if you can We love to see you fucking yourself. Why don't you go to the swingers resort? For the honeymoon? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm here with me. Me and me would like to ask you. Would like to ask you if you'd like to do a threesome. Me too. That's right. Me and me. I can get you with my ring finger. I can get you without my ring finger. I can get you without my ring finger

Well, hey listen good for Meg Hey, what a perfectly lovely human being yes, whatever works. She looks familiar to me. Does she look familiar to you? Are you sure you didn't date her? No, no, no, no, no I was the guy who broke up with her She couldn't stand me anymore. I was married and she was, you know, it was a whole thing. Sorry Meg. But now that I've pointed it out on the commercial break, you can go ahead and heal now. Heel, heal Meg. Well, good luck to Meg and herself in their future marriage together. Yeah. It's so nice to see a happy couple. Finally, someone that's enjoying marriage. Alright, tcbpodcast.com.

You can go there find out more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes, all the audio, all the video, right there at one location, tcbpodcast.com. Also, if you want your 21 EPM sticker, do what so many of your fellow listeners have been doing. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, send us a short note, tell us you want to stick her, send us your physical address, we'll mail it out to you, it's that simple every week.

I'm watching these packages go out the door, so we'd love to include you, do that at tcbpodcast.com. Hey, you want to text with us? Do so at 1-855-tcb-8383-1-855-tcb-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383-1-8383 at 1-855-TCB-8383. 1-855-TCB-8383. Toll-free, from anywhere in the world, we'll pick up the charges. We would love to hear any content ideas you have or questions, comments, or concerns.

Send them to our text message line, 855-TCB-8383. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Instagram, T-C-B podcast on TikTok, and most importantly, youtube.com slash the commercial break for full episodes. The only way you need to watch them is on our YouTube channel. There you go, subscribe and like,

comment on your favorite video. We certainly would appreciate it. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. So I'll say that I for today. I think so. So, I'll say that I love you. I love you. And best of you.

Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say with a horse voice. Good bye. Good bye. Bye!I'm a star I'm a star you