The Commercial Break - Oh...That is So GOOD!

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

Prosperity preachers are a unique brand of con-man (woman). They scam you out of your money legally, while claiming the Bible told them to do it. Then they get to write it all off on their taxes. What a charmed life! TCB reviews a preacher who is so good at the scam he has the congregants saying "Oh...that is so GOOD!" Krissy & Bryan are had a lame NYE Bryan used to party with live grenades and "la familia"! WSP has everyone finger-dipping The UGA vs. the other game ended at 12am exactly...maybe Febreeze just covers the stink with more stink The World's Most Handsome Man doesn't smell great any more Bryan's BO buddy gets the bad news...he stinks Bob the Preacher lays it on thick in a clip from church service Oh...that is so GOOD! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amen. Amen. I'm not going to go. It's true. I'm not going to go. Yes, yes. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go.

Amen. Yes. Amen. On this episode of the Commercial Break, Strip joints are part of the deal. You know what I'm saying? It says it right in the Bible. Now, shall look at the ittties. Jesus told another guy who wrote a book,

who then told him to take your money because that's what God told them to do. Yeah, he's writing notes about it. He's like, gonna be broke for a couple years. Pastor told me send money. Take it into the next bank, you see, Bob? When you're gonna rest, then tell him God told you. It's a revelation. I don't want the money! But if the devil gets it, we're in trouble! So give it to me! The next episode of the commercial break starts now! Oh yeah, Katzenkitton's welcome back to the commercial break.

I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend and beautiful co-host, Kristen Joy, hold me best to you over there best to you out there in the podcast universe how the hell are you thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this the commercial break don't worry kids it's almost over I promise it's the long-winded intro is almost over fact news are fiction guaranteed 30 seconds or less you know what to do what you do for New Year's Eve? I mean, I know it's like two weeks ago, but I'm just trying to catch up. I just tried to catch up. I stayed in. You did. Yeah, we stayed in. Do you feel like as you get old, here's my thoughts

on New Year's Eve. And I've never, it's never really been a big deal to me. Yeah. Unbelievably, since I was a really small child and my parents would go out on New Year's Eve, they drop us off at my grandmother's house. My grandmother lived in Chicago. She lived in the Italian part of Chicago at that time called Melrose Park. My grandma, when they first moved there in the 40s or whatever it was, they built this house and the house had very large basement, underground basement. They put a full-sized, cheers-like bar in the basement,

and they used to have all the people over from the neighborhood, all the Italians, right, smoky bones, old Joe, Cragity Crucky, like all these weird names, not in so much later in life that I really understand I think what was going on down in that basement. I mean, those guys would be like, smoking cigars and drinking whiskey.

It was a full bar. It was a full bar. It was a full bummer. Yeah, and my grandfather used to tend bar and then my grandmother tended bar and then sometimes, you know, we would go down there and play. They had this. So, it might, my grandfather,

I think had like a live grenade from what I was watching. It was sitting down in the basement. It was crazy. We always were told, don't touch the grenade. Oh my God. But they would, she would make it a big deal. My grandma would. We always were told, don't touch the grenade. Oh my God. But she would make it a big deal. My grandma would.

She would take us to party city. We would get all the things, all the balloon streamers, the poppers. And then we would watch whatever, the ball drop, right? Dick Clark's rocking New Year's. That's right, yeah. And when I became a teenager into my 20s, I always felt like a small party was the best thing

and I kind of instinctively knew it just wasn't a night to be out and about because it was going to be a shit show. And anytime I did go out for New Year's Eve, it in fact was a shit show, mainly because of me and my drinking. But I wanted to spare myself the embarrassment. You pay $250,000 to get into wherever the hotel party was 65 different rooms you can go into and then you know It's everyone's just getting drunk. That's it. That's it. If I midnight no one is surviving because everyone has been partying since seven Yeah, and literally throwing up on their shoes

It just felt to me like not I'm gonna say amateur night because I know a lot of my friends go out and do that But I always I always favored that kind of like small house party thing. That's I like that too. Yeah, I used to do these big huge concerts. We would go see what's red panic. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, I just I can see that being fun. Yeah, and if fish does like the New Year's Eve run up in New York,

if I could go do that, I would do that. Yeah, but the damn bro. That's right. Fingered it. Fingered it. Fingered it. Fingered it. No, no, no, no. I think you've had plenty of ecstasy for one night.

For those of you that don't know, I went to a widespread panic concert one time with a mutual friend of ours, and she had a makeup, what do you call those things, where you put the powder, a compact, and in that compact was powdered ecstasy, and she kept looking her finger and dipping that compact was powdered ecstasy. And she kept looking her finger

and dipping it in the powdered ecstasy and asking anybody if they wanted a finger dip. So all night she was like finger dip, finger dip, finger dip. And at some point, I just dude her eyes were like the chest on cat. She was like spinning in opposite directions. I was getting concerned. No finger dips for me. Thanks. I don't want your saliva all over my ecstasy. But so as I get older, I just figure, you know, like Halloween and I mean, Halloween's for the kids now that I have kids, but New Year's Eve, it's just one of those things. I feel like it's best if you stay in and you do your thing. For me, for my personal test. Yeah, in my own environment, in my comfortable clothes, for pop and sea of pain, watching

anything. Oh, these got nipple tassels on. That's right. Jeff watches the boobs drop at midnight. That's my comfortable outfit. And she watches the tassel drop. That's your comfortable outfit. Why do I feel like you're one of those people that walks around the house very naked all

the time? I don't know this part. It doesn't have it with me, but I feel like with Jeff that you're married, you're just, yeah, you like show up down in some slinky outfit at seven o'clock on a Tuesday. Why not? Jeff's on the computer, not paying attention to you. I'm trying to work. I got my tits out. I'll get back to work later. Did you watch Miley? Did you watch any of the people? I did.

I flipped around. Did you? You're watching Andy and Anderson. And then we also asked the dolly and Miley. Yeah. I caught a little bit of Miley and dolly. I was mainly watching the game. And the game was going on too.

Yeah. Which is just $11.45. No, until $1203. I was at $1203. Yeah. Okay. Because for those of you that don't give a shit, I'm sorry, and trust me, I'm not a huge football fan either, but college football gets, I think those kids,

they like, they pour their college basketball, college football, they pour their fucking hearts out. Right, it's, I mean, up until recently, it wasn't for the money, it's just for the love of the game. Obviously, they're trying to, some of them are trying to get contracts in the NFL, they're trying to make a career out of this, but these kids put their heart, their blood, their sweat, their tears, and they're also kids. So they make mistakes. So

that means a game can go any direction at any time. And for those of you that did not watch the Georgia game on midnight at, um, on New Year's Eve at midnight, 41 to 42. Yes, it's the score. Uh, they run down the field. Who would they play in Georgia Ohio State? No, see other guys. No, they were playing. Was it Ohio State? No, it was a high state in TCU. No, it wasn't Clems. Okay. So other guys are running on the guys are running down the field. This is how much I like football. And it And it's like, there's three seconds left on the clock. A 50 yard field goal attempt is gonna be the last play of the game. And unbelievably, as the clock strikes midnight, like two seconds afterwards, he kicks the ball.

And it goes far left. So almost, it depends on which video you see. There's a lot of videos on Twitter about this. But it appears in some people's perspective the way they were seeing it on TV that the kick happened exactly at midnight. Wow. And then it was just, it was insane.

But so I was sneaking off back into the room to look at this, but we were just here kind of, you know, having like a Venice, Wailen New Year's Eve, so to speak, and the kids were up and they were crying because they were tired. All they wanted to do was go to bed. We had so many fucking people over here for New Year's Eve. It's like, master to a million months pregnant

and all the kids are running around. And I'll tell you what, so you know, do you put for a breeze in your bathroom? Do you put some kind of shit cover up? It's a spray. What kind of spray do you have? I forget which one maybe like Mrs. Monter's or something. Like yeah, buy, buy, poo poo or whatever it is.

We had that buy, buy, poo poo or poo, be gone or yeah. Yeah, yeah, whatever it is, fart free. I don't know what it is. The poo, that's what it is. The poo, but then in the guest bathroom, many years ago, I put a can of that fucking for breeze down there, right? Which by the way, there's only one reason why for breeze actually works.

And the reason is it is an overwhelming smell. I don't even know what it is, like Hawaiian flowers and too much glow in our stomach. I'm sure. So this spray is worse than the other smell. Someone went and took a hot dump in my fucking guest room.

Sorry if you're listening. No, this, okay, this, okay. The febreze is from years ago. It was a long sense expire, which means that all the flowers smell has gone risen to the top and all the whatever else they put in that shit has risen to the bottom and all the whatever else they put in that shit as risen to the bottom as fallen to the bottom

And so someone sprayed that in Chrissy my eyes were fucking watering the entire house smelled like for breeze for days For days, you know how sensitive my nose is I was sleeping and I was making me sick I was like, oh my god. Did you really take out that big of a dump? I can't you just give it like a tt, that's it. Let's add that to the treaty. That's the forbreeze treaty of 2023. Yes, re-it. Forbreeze.

When you take a hot shit somewhere, I understand you gotta go, you gotta go, right? That's it, yeah, everyone shits, everyone poops. I don't personally like it. I wish it wasn't part of our bodily functions, but that's it, that's what you got. When you decide to cover up that smell with something, whatever is available to you, whether that be a matchbook,

yes. Matchbook is the best because it burns the methane and you're done, right? And then it just smells like you're smoking a pot pipe with matches. That just someone suspects you're smoking cigarettes in the room. Well, I don't give a shit.

I would rather you smoke a cigarette in my guest bed in my guest bathroom Then spray any more for breeze because whoever took that for breeze was like Almost you know when this for breeze falls it makes like a little mist Yeah, I almost slipped and fell as I had to find out what the emergency was. I thought the Fubri's bottle exploded while someone was shitting. That's what it smelled like. And by the way, the shit smell was still there. Oh yeah.

So it smelled like a Fubri's shit. Oh, why is it? That's right. A Hawaiian Aloha shit. There was an Aloha shit going onto my bathroom. Chrissy, I cannot stand this. I took that for breeze and I threw it as far as I could back in the woods.

I was like, I got it out of there. My grandpa's live grenade. I was like, get out of there. It's taking a hot dump and all he's got is for breeze. I would have rather someone took a dump in directly in my hallway than for breeze like that. It was the most crazy thing. And then like, you can't ask anybody,

what am I gonna do? Who took the hot dump? Who took the hot dump? No, you can't ask. Who didn't like the egg rolls? Okay. Who's stomach didn't agree with the coup de taille tray? You wanna admit it now?

Yeah, you can't ask it by. Does anyone wanna go over there? Does the top of the Hawaiian volcano smell the wonderful flowers that are permeating to the entire house? I'm laughing so hard because Jeff and I just let this conversation like a week ago, just we bought some of that poopery. Oh oh you did and we like search it out at Target and found it Jeff chose Later on And he was like god that smells worse

That's it It's like when you get a car freshener I think I picked the wrong stuff. It's like when you get a car freshener, I fuck those car fresheners. They smell good for one second, and then there's overwhelming. It's true. I went and got one of those,

I don't know who it was, a couple months ago, someone was pukin' or something like that. I think one of the kids was pukin' and I could, I mean, my nose is so sensitive, like I can smell pukin' a car that's 30 months old, right? Like a little spot of pukin' I could smell. It makes me really upset. So I went and I got one of those Aloha, whatever they are, right? Do like a little spot of puke and I could smell it. It makes me really upset. So I went and I got one of those Oloha, whatever they are,

right? The Hawaiian scent can often tell you. Stay away from the Hawaiian scent. I know. So I put that thing in there and I put it on the little vent, the vent clip, and then I put it down on the lowest setting, right? So it's low.

So at first, it smells great. It's like the first five minutes, it smells great. We get out of the car, go to the store, come back, and everybody's literally passing out as if they don't have oxygen on the plane. It's like the first five minutes, it smells great. We get out of the car, go to the store, come back, and everybody's literally passing out as if they don't have oxygen on the plane. It's, I don't, that's the reason the back is like, daddy! Daddy!

Daddy! Unlock my window! Mia's crying, Astrid's passed out on the seat. It had just sat in the car and the hot sun. I feel like we're in a hurry. I'm permeated. It had just sat in the car and the hot sun. I feel like we're impermated. It's it. It just melts. It melts into the fucking vent and then you can't get that smell. Why can't someone pick? Why can't someone get a smell that is just appropriate? Like the right amount of smell? I

don't know if somebody has anybody has any suggestion. I'd love to hear it because anytime. Sometimes the vanilla ones can be okay. A candle can do good. Like a candle I feel like sometimes can give away the right amount of smell. Right. But now when you go to that bath and fucking body works, you go to bath and body works. You get one of those candles. Those things are ever powered. Yeah, it's as if they put febrees in wax.

And then when you light it, it just makes it smell overwhelming of whatever that smell is. And they all have vanilla and they all have flowers and it's all like the, I like to go to the, you know where I go? I go to the target aisle, like the target place and they have those really expensive candles that are oftentimes on discount, made handcrafted candle, grass-fed candle, yeah, from wherever made in Oregon and special circumstances with, you know,

out any, with all vegan people and I don't know what happens. But you like those wooden candles and sometimes that can smell good we found a really good candle company we get all of our candles from this one is it the yanky doodle can it's uh... the loose spot the loose by the loose by the announcement right but the balla pusa is a place in florida i don't think that's the same

it's a valipus air of a loose but i don't know those candles are same. It's a Vellipusar of a Lucpa. I don't know. Those candles are great. They burn evenly, they smell good. It's hard fun. It's hard fun. I'm gonna give it a try, because. I'll get you one. Yeah, I can't take it anymore.

I can't take all these overwhelming smells. And then I was watching a video. I should have recorded it. Write this down. Maybe I'll show it on the YouTube channel. Maybe I'll have Morgan put it up. But there was a guy, I think it was DL Hugley, who I follow on Instagram. He has, he's like, it's obvious someone else is controlling his social media and what

they put up. They put a lot of viral videos from around the end of the day. They make videos viral sometimes, right? And so I like his feed because I just, I think it's fun. It's fun, but sometimes it's here, whatever. So he puts this TikTok video of a guy who's filming himself, getting prepared to go out for the night. And the guy puts on, and I am not kidding, seven, seven different types of

columns, but he is not like, he is spraying it down his pants on his knees, on behind his ears, on his eyes. He is spraying it down his pants on his knees on behind his ears on his eyes. He is spraying all seven of these clones. He just keeps spraying them on him. And this is not a guy trying to make like a satirical video. This is an actual guy who's showing you his routine is to put on seven different types of alone. That's too much.

It is. So this is all I'm going to connect this all now. Ready? This morning, I go to Starbucks and guess who's there? The world's most handsome man is there. You're man. I am sitting at the bar waiting for my coffee, like the little, you know, the end of the bar.

Yes. And then he comes and he sits a couple seats down. I did. I did. I said, hey, what's up, man? Hey, what's up? You look hot today. Today.

You look super cute. Those jeans are fit well, super tight on your crotch. Can I take a picture of you? Can I take a couple pictures of you, please? So I nodded. He could be a selfie. And he nodded, but then after a second or two, I noticed that even from four feet away, the smell of cologne was over fucking well-me.

Really? Oh no. The first time I met him, he smelled good, but I just walked by him. Right. Right? The second time, or now, this morning him, he smelled good, but I just walked by him. Right. The second time, or the, now this morning, he still smelled good, but only for a hot second. And then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're too much.

Too much, bro, too much. Ladies don't like that. No, we've got a friend that does too much. And I'm probably never gonna say anything to him, but he does. No, we had a friend that put on too little. He like didn't shower from months at a time. Remember that guy? Remember how bad he smelled? I had to tell him one time. I had to tell him one time.

The BO is one thing, but when he started smelling like ass, I had to tell him because I didn't want him sitting on my cash. I was trying to be polite. I was trying to, I remember we stressed about this. I think you and I talked like multiple times like we got to say something to multiple times, we gotta say something to him. We have to say something to him. Like you could be in the pool underwater and still smell him. If he was underwater with you, you'd smell him. And it'd be like, how did he make the water smell?

That's kind of weird. So then one day I said, hey, listen, bro, I just gotta tell you something. And I want you to take offense to this. It's because I love you and I care about you. You stink. You smell like hot ass. You smell your breath smells.

Oh my god. Like the undercarriage of a thousand monkeys. I mean, it really is pretty bad. What did he say to me? Well, I think he... if I'm gonna be honest, he cried. He cried. He cried.

He cried. But I wouldn't say it like that. I was obviously trying to be sweet. And the guy was well off, so it's not right. Yeah, he had a nice, he had running water, in other words. Yeah, that was gonna be fun. Yeah, the shower. Yeah, the mean.

Yeah, the shower. And I've been, I went to his bathroom, he had the odorant. Yeah. He just didn't put it on. As a same deodorant for five years, it just sat there. So I told him one day, I said, hey, listen, I love you to death and I care about you, but I gotta let you know, sometimes it smells, you smell a little funky. And I think that is a little bit of deodorant or a shower here and there could do, right?

And then he was like, he got upset, but that's kind of how he was. He was very sensitive. Yeah. Great guy, super nice, wonderful human being, but he was tough to be around because he was always so deprecating. Like he never believed that anything

could ever happen to him, but then he didn't put on deodorant, so what was he expecting? So when it started smelling a little bit like ass, when ass was mixing in with the DPO, I said, I just said, hey, you. It's on too far. And after we had a little, you know, I have a little, like, I'll get out, right?

Then he actually went and he took a shower at my place and let him use my deodorant and then I promptly threw it in the can. He did. Okay. Yeah. I thought that was a little weird, but I said, hey, what? Okay.

I said, well, you know, maybe I just need, I haven't taken a shower today. Maybe I need a shower. And we were about to go out. So I was like, hey, you know. Go for it. Feel free. I'm gonna put some police tape on the door. Sure we're done.

And then he asked if he could use my deodorant. I said, yes, and I remember throwing it. He did. Because I'm just a germaphoob and I didn't like that. Hello, all my friends out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for listening to this episode of the commercial break. If you have any questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 1-855-TCB-8383. Toll free from anywhere in the world, 855-TCB-8383. Toll free from anywhere in the world, 855-TCB-8383.

Make sure to visit our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Full episodes air a few days after they do here on the audio feed and starting in season 4 the same day. You can go to the TCB podcast website at TCBpodcast.com. Here all the audio and watch all the video you can also contact us all tcbpodcast.com. Hear all the audio and watch all the video. You can also contact us all from tcbpodcast.com. Please follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and feel free to use our specialized URLs and or codes

when you hear them on the commercials. Speaking of those sponsors, let's take a moment here from them and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Chrissy. Oh, yes, Brian. Have you ever heard of prosperity preaching? Uh, not really.

Okay. So prosperity preaching is the belief that God and Jesus Christ Himself and whoever else in the magical book decided that preachers, everybody really, but preachers especially, shouldn't want for things. They should welcome the blessings of the Lord in financial format. Oh, wow. Okay.

So, at least the same one, people who have jets. Yeah. That's exactly what's going on. Right? And now, this is big debate going on that I've noticed online. There are a lot of people that speak out against this exactly what's going on, right? And now this is big debate going on that I've noticed online. There are a lot of people that speak out against this especially other preachers, right?

They speak out against this because these prosperity preachers, they tend to be on television, they tend to be taking a lot of donations, they tend to be in huge mega churches, flying private planes with very nice cars and very nice homes in the church. The people who go to the church are paying for it all. Right.

But they say if you pay it forward, it'll come back to you a million times. So they are taking money from grandma, who probably only has 20 extra bucks in her till every month. They're taking that 20 bucks and then some because she believes that that will come back to her and that her preacher needs to have the finest clothing, the best shoes, the nicest things.

Now, that's a business model that is... All tax free, too. All tax free. Unbelievable. It's just unbelievable. It's unbelievable what a fucking work around this. What a, I guess they say in wrestling, what a job these guys are pulling over on everybody. And by preaching, by interpreting the Bible in a way that God told them this was

okay, then it's all smoothed over because this is what God told us we should be doing. We should be flying in private jets. We shouldn't want for a fucking thing. I mean, strip joints are part of the deal. You know what I'm saying? It says it right in the Bible. Now, shall look at Daitidis. Yeah, you can interpret anything in the Bible that's the thing. That's the thing. I could pick up, there's the giant book of dreams right there. I could pick up the giant book of dreams right there, and I could interpret, I could make you believe that you should be giving me money, which you should be.

But we'll talk about that later. But this prosperity preaching has caused quite a firestorm inside of the Christian community mainly. And I've been keeping a hot eye on it because I just dislike those preachers Asperity preaching has caused quite a firestorm inside of the Christian community mainly. And I've been keeping a hot eye on it because I just dislike those preachers with a passion, especially the televangelists who are just building money out of people who seriously don't have it. They don't have it. And whatever your beliefs are, I'm not down and on your beliefs.

You want to believe in Jesus Christ and God and whoever Muhammad, you boot up. Whatever. Go for it. I have my own beliefs too. What I dislike is these people taking advantage of people who are obviously maybe not in a position to know any better. Yeah, it doesn't seem right, but keeps on trucking on.

It's been going on forever and ever and we keep on going on. These creatures get. I like that show too on HBO, the righteous gemstones. Oh, the righteous gemstones is so good. Such a such a great look, such a satirical, but funny look at these churches.

At these churches, when you start making billions of dollars, hundreds of millions, it's no longer a church. It's a business. It is a legitimate corporation, and you are literally sucking off the teeth of people who probably have fixed incomes. When the people who are showing up at your church are barely affording the rent on their trailer

and you are flying a private jet and you're asking them to give every dollar out of their pocket because Jesus will pay it back to them 10 fold. That's a hot fucking shit storm and it's not true. It's not true. That's not how money works. Because if it was true, Brian and Chrissy would be 100% preaching prosperity right now It's I think that's the gig

So as we round the corner we finish out this incredibly long season that we've had here a season number three We get ready for season number four. I thought I'd bring it back to one of the places it all started Yeah, all started with preachers. That's right. That was our second episode Yeah, and now we no longer have the first That's right. That was our second episode. Yeah. And now we no longer have the first episode up there, so you can't listen to it. It was so bad. But for $1.99, you can listen to it,

and it'll come back to you, 10 fold. That's right. Hallelujah. Only crazy. Praise Jesus. So without further ado, I was showing on the internet. Oh, what do you do? I do like to do.

Do you want to hear from one of these preachers as to how this all works? I would love to. Okay. Let's take a listen to this guy. Hold on one second there. Okay. All right.

YouTube.com. Slash the commercial break. Learned how to do some of these things is because of a man named Kenneth E. Hagan. I know. And his master, our master, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. He, this lady, listen to this lady the whole time.

Received revelation about these things back in 1949. And out of that experience in Revelation the ministry wrote a little book called How God taught me about prosperity. Have you had a revelation? I taught about prosperity. Hey, come here quick, not a revelation. I'm sick of living in the back of the station wagon. Let's ask that Betty Jean lady who comes into church all the time. Let's ask her when you borrow some money. Actually, let's not borrow some money. Let's tell her we give her back to her tenfold. Jesus will give her back to her tenfold.

I read it one time in my little book. Yeah, it's a revelation. Ever seen this little book? I believe I'm impressed of the Lord to encourage you if you don't have this little book, get this little book. What he's talking about is he's talking about a tiny little handbook written by a gentleman back in the 40s. I actually did a whole research on this.

And the guy in the 40s was the first one to start interpreting some of the scriptures. He started it. Yeah, he started it as if he was supposed to get rich because God told him to. Right. Now listen to the horse shit that comes out of this guy's mouth. So he's holding up the book and he's asking his, the people in his church, he's not the guy who wrote the book. He's asking the people in his church to read this

so they can also be hoodwinked by the same revelation. Right. If you have this little book, I don't care if you've had it for 15, 20 years, go pull it out. Yeah. Read it carefully. Then, then wire me the money to my bank account, one, two, zero, zero, four.

Yes, yes, yes. You think that lady's planted? I think she's a plant. Yeah, she's probably drunk. She's like, a payin' $10. Just say yes to whatever I say. Yes. Okay.

Oh, yo, with me. Because what we're talking about right now, it's just right here. I I say. Yes. Okay. Are you all with me? Yeah. Because what we're talking about right now, it's right here. I mean, in detail. Yeah. And it's tiny little book. Yeah. Tiny is 25, 26 pages.

Tiny little book. Mm-hmm. It will... It's filled with my checking account number. And my zeal. And my Venmo. And my PayPal. As he's holding this up, he's wearing like a really nice watch.

Yeah, he's got a Rolex on, he's wearing a fine Italian suit. Yeah, it took seven hours to get his beard, that perfect. That's like a Santa Claus, like a trimmed up Santa Claus beard. It's pretty impressive actually. It really is. Yeah, which I could grow a beard like that. I have to go to the five o'clock shadow look, because if I don't, then I have like one gray streak here,

a patch here. Change your life. If you'll do it. Now, no, it'll change what happened. And I'll just summarize it a little bit. He and Miss Alifah had pastored for years. And hold on, hold on. I just wanna point out something here real quick

and you can watch, you can see this on the video. Look at the couple people up in the rows up. They're like, the guy with the white shirt and the glasses on, the bigger gentleman, right? He is actually writing down with this guy, you say. He is, oh yeah, he's taking notes. What? Cut.

What kind of medicine are they giving these people when they walk in the door? That not only are you letting this preacher tell you that Jesus told him, Jesus told another guy who wrote a book, who then told him to take your money because that's what God told them to do. He's writing notes about it. He's like, gonna be broke for a couple years, pastor told me, send money. He and Miss Alretha had pastored for years, and the Lord dealt with them to leave pastoring and go out on the road in traveling ministry.

What? F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! What's he's going on here? Bob, it's me, God! Get out of that building! Get on the road like Chevy Jason vacation. See the world.

Steel people's money. You're doodling. Don't know more doodling. Get out there. Get collect some cash. I need a new Labrigini Bob. Do this quickly. Bring your life or don't. I don't care. He did. But the first year after 12 months, he's in the hole and just the finances are getting worse every month. They just worse and worse and worse. So he began to seek the Lord. He had a revelation. He had a revelation. Having had a revelation. Oh, no. Having other people give him money. Are you sick of being broke yet, Bob? I told you, open up those pocketbooks and those little old ladies.

They're either going to use it for tooth fairy money for their grandchildren or give it to us, Bob. Here's your revelation. I did a spreadsheet it's not working out for you Bob. Your life hates you, your broke living in the back of the car. If you just start talking to those little little ladies Bob we could get some more cash. Right a book about a bob. Yeah, right down everything I say. Give me your money. This is a robbery.

Take it into the next bank you see, Bob. When you get arrested, tell him God told you. It's a revelation. Here's your Get Out of Free jail card, Bob. Don't do it! It's a revelation! Here's your Get Out of Free Jail Card, Bob! Television, right-of-book! Carry it with you! When you're stealing that money from grandma, break out the book! Say it's a revelation! It absolves you of all responsibilities! Your wife needs a fur coat and a good fucking or she's gonna leave you Bob

this is my best idea yet you better hurry up break out the book break out the book Bob refer to page three circle where it says give me your money lady I'm going to have to go to the pub, refer to page three. Circle where it says, give me your money, lady. Extra about what's wrong. And begin to tell the Lord, you know, I obeyed you.

And I did this, but we're, he said, is children wasn't adequately clothed? He had to sell his car for junk I mean they're getting in just really this is like the fact I know he's catastrophizing what everybody goes through all their life the commercial break is in a constant state of turning our car in for junk my children are not clothed adequately maybe I'm doing this all wrong.

I need to start a church. Yeah, I need to start a church and write a little book. The book of the commercial break. Revelation, Revelation, TCB, chapter three. But how many of you can't continue that? I mean, you can't keep going like this. And so he began seeking the Lord extra. And he said, he was quoting to the Lord,

if you'd be willing and obedient, you'll eat the good of the land. He said, the final after a few days of seeking the Lord, he said, the Lord told him, well, you don't qualify for that verse. Yeah. No, or it's said, well, you call five. Unfortunately, due to your poor credit history, you do not qualify for this verse.

Right, that book, Bob. Get on it, Bingai. God forbid, me forbid you have to... Me forbid you actually have to go through... ...top circumstances! By the way Bob, there are monks in India... ...who have been walking the land, eating a grain of rice a day for their entire lives asking for nothing doing everything we don't want to be those people Bob I didn't

revelate to them I revelated to you this is America get out there and get yourself a plane Bob and fuck your life before she leaves you. And he said what? He said, yeah, you old babe, but you have not been willing. So he was talking about how good it was when I were pastoring. And he's still looking back. So he repented. And he's so lucky.

I mixed my preachers up there. Sorry, let's go back one second. I apologize. What you didn't see in the studio is that I pressed the wrong button and somebody else came up on the screen. And I were pastoring and he's still looking back. So he repented and he said, Lord, I'm willing now. You know I'm willing? The devil knows I'm willing. And he said, yeah, I do. The devil man. You better apologize for being poor, Bob. Get down on your knees and repent for being poor. The fuck is wrong with you, Bob.

Yes, this is God. I told you a million times. Get down on your knees and repent. OK, OK, all is well. I'll give you that private play now. Stop traveling, you look like an idiot. Pick yourself up. Get your children clothes for God's sakes. Go to Oshkosh Pagash and get yourself some new clothes for your children. But another thing is that you don't practice what you preach.

Now, this is in this little book. He said, he said, But another thing is that you don't practice what you preach. Now this is in this little book. He said it felt like the Lord actually punched him. He thought, oh Lord, you hit me a low blow. What do you mean I don't, I don't practice this what I... Take this one and then I'll come on. Stop driving that shitty station wagon around and get out there and steal some money like the rest of the preachers do. You got this all wrong Bob, I'm relying on you. I think I picked the wrong guy. You better write that book and I want a good book too.

Nothing less than 28 pages. I wrote it 29. Thank me. Thank me, Bob. Now you're doing something smart. Reach, he said now, you preach faith, but you don't live by faith. He said, Lord, he said, you know, every time I've had any symptoms, every time the kids have had any symptoms, every time we've believed you, we've received our healing, he said, you know, every time I've had any symptoms, every time the kids have had any symptoms, every time we've believed you, we've received our healing.

He said, the Lord said, yes, you do with healing, but you don't use your faith for finances. Oh my God. Your faith for finances. I'll take care of the cancer. You take care of the money. you take care of the money! I don't have any hands! What do you want me to do? I'm just a floating thing around in space. Now do you expect me to write your checks for you, Bob?

Let's go up! Face that! Yeah. You should you gotta use your faith in... Face that! I'm afraid! That lady... That's gotta be his mom or grandma to answer something. You said you got to be our new clip. Right that down.

Minute 321. Praise God. How to use your faith in every area. He said you haven't been using your faith for finances. And so I want to read to you just an excerpt from the book, because I want to make sure I get it, I get it right. He said, and I'm reading the first one, the tiniest book ever. And it's only 28 pages. Just go ahead and read the book. It's like the size of your iPhone. Just read the entire book. Yeah, it's like the size of your iPhone.

Just read the entire book. Yeah, you could have been done by now. You're telling this fanciful story. It's a little over dramatic actually. He had to turn his car in for John. His children weren't clothed properly. His wife was suffering from malnutrition as they drove around spreading the good word of the Lord.

But I drive it anymore. Yeah, I know. Where do I? I don't know. Are you stuck on good word of the law. I'm not driving anymore. Yeah, I know. Where do I, I don't know. Are you stuck on the side of the road somewhere? What happens when you turn in your car for a junk? That's what I want to know. If you're on the road and you turn in your car for a junk, it's just, I just imagine like Bob and his wife

back in the 50s with like a big trunk out on the highway. I'm a big tree like a depression arrow picture. Yeah. We'll preach for food. So stupid. Actually, from what he said, the head of the church told him, now, if this came out of the mouth of the head of the church,

should we ask, I don't know you. I know. She's so excited to be there. She's so excited to give her money to the preacher. Give it great a money anymore. Yes. First God. Wow. Praise God. Because it doesn't work. What do you think I'm up here waiting for you to ask for money? I got a big shit to worry about.

I got that Elon Musk over in Twitter. I got the Mar in the hospital. I got Andy and Mandy sobering up over there in the New York year, near Zeeve. It's a whole mess. And you want me to give you money? Fuck you. Then he said, that is the way you've been praying.

Yes. Claim whatever you need. Just claim it. Just claim it. That's it. And the name of the father, the son and the Holy Mercedes Benz. I claim this car. I'm going to try that. I know. I'm going to go over to my next door neighbor's house. He's got a nice song I need for some work in the house. He's got a nice song I need for some work in the house claiming this is the name of the Lord It's right here in the book

Read it when you get a chance it's short It's a tiny little print. It's a little mouse print Now what we're elaborating on is how you lay whole Come on, can you see this you lay up, but then also what do you do? Lay down. Lay down. Lay hold. You put your right Bible in, you put your right Bible out, you put your right Bible in, and you shake it all about. You steal your neighbor stuff and you claim it for yourself. That's what it's all about. Hey, prosperity for you in a nutshell. You lay hold. He said, clang, whatever you need, you say the Lord told him this.

You say, say, you set up a bitch. Where did you get that new Ferrari? Those aren't coming out the next season. I claim it for myself. Take your hands off my money. Amen. He said, because it's Satan who's keeping it from you, not me. Fucking Satan.

He said the book is singing. He used to blame. That asshole. I should have never gone to join a cowl with him. I can't take it off this week both go in inside. You know what I'm saying? It's complicated. I checked the account and I only have $65 trillion in there. I don't say Satan's taking at least $25 trillion. He's giving it to that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

people in Florida. That's a very sending it. I said, I'm not withholding adequate food and clothing from your little children. That's not me. That's you, Bob. Horrible father. It's the devil. He's the God of this world.

The money you need is down there on earth. Can you see this? And so yet people keep begging God, pleading with God, but the resources are down here and because it's exercising control over most of the planet, then he is always trying to hinder and block your provision from you. Well, this all makes perfect fucking sense.

This is my work broke. Solved the devil. Yeah, we're looking at God to give us some money here at the commercial break and who's really holding it from us is the devil. And if we could, if we just realize, actressy, that we can just claim the money we want. Yeah. I'm walking into Wells Fargo tomorrow. I'm claiming all the money in your till. It's not a robbery. I'm just claiming it. It's here in the book. Yeah. I just slide over the book. God told me to take it. He said, stop looking at me. It's the devil. You get the right teller and I bet they give you the money. Yeah, that's right

Like the lady is sitting here saying yes. Yeah. Yeah Who is it that wants the church broke? Why would God want the church broke? It's the enemy who wants the church broke. Look how listen to how high his voice gets I don't want the money Look how listen to how high his voice gets. It's the anime! I don't want the money! But if the devil gets it, we're in trouble! So give it to me!

I'm in stocks at shirt. That's right. It's not me who wants the board ape! It's God! I'm just a vehicle to get it there to him! I got four board apes. And Christians and preachers and ministers. He said, it's not me. Let's keep an example.

It's not me. Things from your children. He said, claim it because it's down their own earth and Satan has the most control of it because he's the God of this world. Are you listening? So you say, are you listening? Okay, open up your checkbooks. Everybody's sitting there looking at him.

Are you listening? There's hundreds of people in this church. They're all getting ready to break out their checkbooks for this jack hole who's wearing a Rolex watch and he has just convinced them by simply I mean that was the most circular reasoning I've ever heard in my entire life. You don't talk to God about it because we're down here on earth and Satan is trying to keep the money from the church and I just so happen to be the church. I didn't ask for this. God did. You see how this makes sense?

Are you listening? Yes. Please teach us. Thank you, Dorin. Thank you for sitting in front of me. I appreciate it. I'm going to kick you in the face sometimes, but you make me a lot of money.

So I claim ex amount, naming whatever it is you won't or need. He said no one. That's a guy in the back. Thousand bucks, that guy is in on it too. Thousand bucks, that's the preacher on Saturdays. Right? Oh, that's so good.

Listen to him. that's so good. Listen to him. That's so good. He's probably taking his own notes, like this is what I need to do to get money. Baby sitter porn and convincing the flock to give us their cash. I don't know which is better. That's so good.

Let's listen to that again. That is so good. That is so good. In whatever it is, you won't or need. That's so good. Let's listen to that again. That is so good. That is so good. In whatever it is, you won't or need. That's so good. He said, when the Lord said that, He actually replied to said, now Lord, I believe that you can meet our needs,

but our wants, because He didn't preach that in His circles. And the Lord quoted to Him, Psalm 231, the Lord's my shepherd, I shall not want. He quoted Psalm 3410, you know, that they, you know, seek the Lord's will not want any good things. I was just waiting to say. 24.2, yeah. It says, well, you know, you know what it says.

21 EPMs, you know, you remember, that one, that one that said, give me your money. Exactly. You look it up, you remember that one, that one that said, give me your money. You look it up. You don't know. You better come to prepare next week to tell me. I'm not here to memorize the Bible for you. That's for you to do. I'm here to take your check. Give it to the usheres. He said, he said, claim whatever you need are, are won't. And then say, Satan, take your hands off my finances. And then say, go.

He's got instructions. Satan, take your hands off my money. God, this is good. And then you click your heels three times Take your hands off my money. Good. And then you click your heels three times and say, there's no place like home, no place like home. And then say, go ministering spirits and cause the money to come. Amen.

Yes. Amen. That's how it works. I did it one in the 60s. That new district resort. I found five dollars on the ground. I needed a condom one time, and it appeared out of nowhere. Are most people doing this?

No. No, they are not. Sadly, a lot of folks that call themselves word in fact. Say it is. Say and take your hands off my money. I don't know. Say and take your hands off my money. And then say go with your experience.

Be gone. And the money shall appear. Name your amounts. Name your price. Name it. Name it. Name it. Name it price name it claim it. Name it and claim it baby.

I need $250,000 right here right now. Go away. Look, there it is. It's just way it worked. That's right. Call the rich down a combo. We're on our way. We'll figure it out. I'm going to ask when we're on the plane. We're higher. We're closer to God You probably just can't hear me right now

Remember Satan's got this level of interference going on that's right down here on earth But once we get up there will be fine. It's good for Kenneth Copeland. It's good for me The higher I get, the closer to God is that. Remember Kenneth Copeland one time said he needed a private plane, so he could get closer to God. Yeah. And then, right. I'm not doing this.

And if all you're going to do is beg and wait on the Lord, you'll just keep going and going without. That's right. Well, it makes perfect sense to me. I'm ready. All right. All right. I think we got like, this might be our second to last show of the season.

That's right. Oh no, it's not. Never mind, I'm wrong. But we're getting close. We're getting close to the end of the season. Three, season four starts the first full week in February, so I think that's the fifth or sixth or something like that. And we're super excited for all the great things that

are come to come in season number four. Thank you for being a loyal listener of the commerce. If indeed you are a loyal listener, I'm the commercial, right? If you're just passing by, you probably didn't make it to this point. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. We love you all.

We love you all. We love you all. Either way, we're great friends. Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus. I need more Apple reviews now. Ha ha ha. Boom. Go away with it in spirits.

Satan get away. Satan get away. We're going to finish this video in the next episode. So stick with us. You know, I was going to tell you, Chrissy, lots of people texting the phone line. Lots of people. I think we've had like 37 messages in the last four or five days. From one person, but it doesn't matter. Whatever. Who's counting? Leviticus, 3.4.7. Now shall message the TCB.

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Are you ready for season number four? I am ready, I'm super excited. Really I'm excited to take a break. That's what I'm excited to do. We'll get a little break. That's right. So I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye! I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay, stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay, I You