The Commercial Break - Swipe Right For Cash Money

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

There are three things you'll need to succeed on the dating app sites: an overcoat, slacks, and a stack of hundreds. Bryan & Krissy get into Frankie B's dating app site tips for men... Club TCB Old drugs vs new drugs Extreme hoarders A story about roaches Bryan got PRANKED Devon the Ding Dong Dick Dark Dork The baggage of being human Bryan only goes to therapy so that someone can keep his secrets Another spurt of Frankie B! Frankie is using randomly placed transition noises Is meeting people at the grocery store a thing? The dating app websites strike again Frankie’s intro never disappoints "Da pitcher" Did Frankie steal our transition noise? Haunting & fishing is NOT for dating apps Everyone’s attracted to a well dressed man Slacks and an overcoat = sex appeal (or flasher vibes) Frankie with the LAUGH TRACK?! You better watch yourself, bud... LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, first of all, I was instantly attracted to him, which means he's definitely on a bailout. On this episode of the Commercial Break... When you swipe to the right, like I do, and like I was taught by my ex-girlfriend, when you swipe to the right, you do it with a hundred dollar bill every time, and then you let whoever's to the right of you take that hundred dollar bill, which was usually my ex-girlfriend. But when I ran out of hundred dollar bills, she dumped me. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to Club Commercial Break on Brian Green. This

is my dear friend and club sex kitten. Chris, enjoy, hopefully, best of you, Gersard. That's me, Brian. Let me see you out there in the podcast universe. I love that. That's my favorite. That's one of my favorites, especially when you're, you know, outside of funeral and basically and people are making that noise.

Shit. I want that in my funeral. Make it noted. Oh dude, you're gonna have a party. You are gonna have a party and I'm gonna make sure of it. I guess everybody else's wishes, I'll probably just be like... Yeah. She did!

Let's celebrate her life. Drop the coffin! J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j- They call them happy face ecstasy. The chocolate chips, if you will. Chocolate chips were all the rage when I was a kid. Because now they have all synthetic. We have the sham rocks. You have the sham rocks? I had the sham rock a couple times too. Yeah, I have a feeling they made their way around. They came from the Netherlands or something

and they made their way around the same circles. But we had the chocolate chips. And the reason why they were chocolate chips is they actually look like a cookie with little chocolate chips. And the chocolate supposedly was harrowing, right? And then, because I think, I think, I'm not a chemist. There's that guy on Vice, who could maybe help us with this question.

You know what I'm talking about? What's his name? Yeah, the pharmacy. Yeah, the pharmacy, a guy. He, I think that the MDMA now is like purely chemical. It's made in a lab, but basically. Wasn't it always? No, and while ecstasy originally, I think was like a speedball mixed together in pill format. Okay. A little bit up, a little bit down, a little bit all around, and then you have a good time.

Oh, are we going? Yeah, little, a little, a little sticky wiki. You know, nothing like taking a hair one on a set of the day up in the end. Make your parents feel great about your trajectory in life. I'm taking a hair one on a Saturday afternoon to make your parents feel great about your trajectory in life. But I believe that they would actually just kind of put a speedball together. And I think I'm old enough that I caught the last of that video X to see that was going on. But I could be completely wrong just making this all up

and the chocolate chips were in fact chocolate chips and I was just, Well, now they're doing, I mean, now there's medical grade. MDMA. Yeah, but that's certainly made in the lab. They're not like speed going that all together. No, it's the, it's for sure. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, you know, I had my moment with ecstasy. I did a few pills. I remember being in that closet of mine upstairs in that big old house. And in that closet was my Dick Tracy collection. So I was high on ecstasy and I was rooting around my Dick Tracy collection of tickets and I love you.

I love you. You're going to be worth valuables. Who needs these US bonds? My grandma bought me in 1970, whatever. That are now worth $3,000. I could keep maturing

these or I could cash it in and buy more Dic Tracey collectibles. Dic Tracey to beat the market. Oh my God. Jarl Schwab says, buy on Dic Tracey. So this is through. Mark it what? Mark it what? Stock to it.

Stock to it says Dic Tracey Tracy's a buy bearish bullish on Dick Tracy Oh my god guy that does the the Cramer Get out of my now Dick Tracy The seminal movie of the 1990s was to make collect them all collect them all Any movie that had a McDonald's happy meal is bound to go up in value Seminole movie of the 1990s. With the make collect them all. Collect them all.

Any movie that had a McDonald's happy meal is bound to go up in value. I think that's the only revenue that Dick Tracy made was through McDonald's collectible. I think so too. Because it was, I liked the movie, but I don't know why I got so into it. I had watches, I had tickets.

I would keep the ticket stubs. I saw the movie like three times. I kept the ticket stubs. I asked the movie like three times, I kept the ticket stubs, I asked the movie people for the poster, I got the poster, I got who, cards, collectibles, all kind of shit. I had to close it, fold the Dic Tracey stuff. And I just will never forget being kind of wasted and being up in that closet and like rearranging the stuff

in the middle of the closet. Well, you know what, here's the thought, and I don't mean to make you feel bad on this, because you don't, you know, longer own the Dic Tracey stuff, but everything 90s is in the hot domain now. I know, don't tell me now. Don't tell me, don't remind me that one of these days I'm gonna come on and I'm gonna look at a newspaper article

that says that Dic Tracey collectible cards are now trading like those fucking Pokemons and all of a sudden I'm a millionaire in my head. I was a millionaire one time in my closet. I lie on ecstasy chocolate chip. But you know, it wasn't meant to be. I don't know what happened to the Dick Tracy stuff, but it's gone. Money flows, money cows, money flows. Money's like water.

You know, if the more you try and hold on to it, the more you lose it, unless you're rich and they seem to have the opposite philosophy. So I don't know whatever you're into. I'm reading an article by land. They're not making more of it. They're not making more of it. That's what that's what my dad says. But there's so much land. I think it's a Mark Twain quote. Of course it is. There's so because Mark Twain says everything's smart. I can't be able to fucking Mark Twain for once in my life. I can't do something forward thinking for once in my life. I'm always stuck with these Hodgpod's crazy ideas that never pan out. Like the commercial break. Exactly. Yeah, we're doing all right for ourselves. I think we've

paid off the mouse that I got for the cave horror. They're confused. Right. There is a guy that was a hoarder. You ever seen that hoarder show? Extreme hoarders. Isn't that sad? It is. It makes me stressed.

It does make me stressed too. I'm an organized person. I mean, I'm not OCD organized, but I really, I thoroughly enjoy it. I like to get into someplace and figure it all out. It's like, I like puzzles in my head. Yeah. You like Tetris. I like cleaning threats.

Yes. Yes. I love it. I love loading the dishwasher. The optimal way. Yeah. Yeah. My wife's into that.

Yeah. I like doing all that kind of stuff. And so I feel like it's a stress releaseer. My dad was into that. But when I see that unorganized stuff, it's a stress producer. It is a stress-st stress producer for me too. But I just remind myself that, like, hey, at least I'm not that bad. When the house gets a little bit dirty and then I catch an extreme hoarder's on the television somewhere,

I'm like, well, at least I'm not that shithead. At least I'm not buried in my own filth. Yeah, it is sad because who's checking them? Who's going to check you, boo? That's who's going to check you, boo? Check my bed back, bed back, whatever. because who's checking them? Who's going to check you boo? Who's going to check you boo? He's going to check me. Bad back, bad back, whatever that is. Bad back.

I suspect there's with most of these people there's high levels of anxiety going on and this makes them feel better. I mean, I watch a couple episodes of that, extreme hoarders. And what it seems to me is like, most of these people are somewhat lonely and they have extreme levels of anxiety that can only be, and all of that anxiety gets attachment to certain items. And they think those items aren't with them, that something bad is going to happen or something wrong, or they could use it in the future. They just get attached

to the idea that anything could be used for anything. But you look at some of those extreme hoarders and it is a Dyer situation. No, it is like they can't use the bathrooms. No, they can't sleep in their beds. Nope. They can't use their kitchen Yeah, everything like there was one episode where even the exterminators the professional commercial break grade exterminators that came in said they have never seen a roach nest like this person's house and Chrissy I had to turn the channel. God the roaches. Let me tell you a story about roaches while we're on this and then I want to get to the

to the actual story. Let me tell you about this. So I am with my son and he wants to turn on the television. It's April 1st and he wants to turn on the television because there's a movie he wants to watch, the SpongeBob movie, the Minions movie, or something. I- Classics. Yeah, lovely movie.

I can watch either of those all day long. The big screen TV I have in my room is like 100 inches or whatever it is. It's one of those big, big, big ones. And so I turn it on, the movie comes on, and then all of a sudden there's a roach crawling across the screen. And I'm not not like a small roach a big roach Palmetto

It's a fucking roach. It is a roach and it's the worst kind of roaches Actually, it's the best kind of roaches you want to have in your house because the small roaches are the kind you really do Small roaches you can ever get rid of the big roaches are just made their way inside somehow and they also eat But they're the scariest. I know. And they can like squish their bodies down to like get through. I mean, if you squish them, if you kill them, it's a lot pronged. Yeah. So I am freaking out.

I'm staring at the TV. I'm trying not to alert Matthias to the fact that there's a huge bug on the TV. And so I grab my flip flop from in the closet. I run into the closet. I grab the flip flop hoping that it doesn't scurry somewhere else. I didn't want to scare it away. In a mean time. Yeah, and I figure, I don't care.

You were turning it's gone. I did. That's the worst, because now I can't sleep. Now I need to find the roach before I go to sleep, but I really don't want to find the roach because I don't like the roach. I would rather the roach just go back to where it came from. That is good.

But that's not gonna happen because, you know, they're there to eat my food and drink my water and piss in my kid's Cheerios. So, I'm like, I don't care. The TV's hung pretty sturdily on the wall. I don't care if I get a little crack in it. That roach is huge and it's going to die. So I turn the corner, I come out of the bathroom. My closet is on the opposite, like, you have to go through the bathroom to get to the walk and cause it.

And so I turn the corner around the bathroom and it's still there and I fling the shoe. And I almost hit it directly where it's supposed to be and it doesn't move. It's just got its little antennas going like this and I'm like, oh, I'm still on the TV, so I'm still on the TV. And I was like, this is insane. I just hit you almost directly and you're standing where exactly where you were. No damage whatsoever. So then I go to pick up the shoe to do it again.

I'm like slowly walking over, creeping, creeping, creeping. As I go to pick up the shoe, now I can see up towards, now I'm really close to the television. I can see up towards the television. There's nothing sticking out of the television. It is fucking Nickelodeon doing an April Fools joke and they have put a picture of a 3D

roach on top of the movie. Everybody is seeing the same thing. Television across the United States are flying off the walls. People are dying because televisions are crushing their children. This is the worst possible April Fool's joke that Nickelodeon can play and they're playing it and it fucking worked. I mean I realize I don't have great eyesight, but with my glasses I can see pretty good. And I swear to God, it looks so real. I had to do like, that is a dirty joke.

I had to go put my hand on the TV to make sure that what I was seeing was not real. Crazy, crazy. What the fuck? Well, that's a dirty joke. It's a horrible horrible joke people in their dirty jiggity jokies So my mom did a joke when time where she put her hand and then turned on the This what are the disposed all yeah, and then went oh, that's a terrible joke too

Oh, that's a terrible joke too. Oh my god, oh my god. You know, I have like a legitimate fear of my hand getting chopped up in a dishwasher disposal. Every time I put my hand down there, I actually cut the power to it like at the breaker. Because I'm like, I don't want anything to trigger this thing to go off because I don't want my mangled hand to come out of there. Squirting blood and my kids are like, ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! I just don't want it. No! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Like the, what is it? It, doesn't it? Yeah, the hand. The hand. Yeah, but if you got your head stuck in one of those things, it wouldn't look like it, doesn't it? No, I know. It would look horribly disturbing.

The reason why I bring up hoarders is because I am my Dick Tracy collections because I read this article and I think this is gonna be me. But if I still had the stuff with me, comic book hoarder's house, buried in vintage collectibles is worth millions. What a marvelous home this guy has, vintage comic books and figurines fill an abandoned house discovered by an urban explorer, Devon Dark, who suspects that the 80s and 90s merchandise

is worth millions. You walk in and immediately you can see everything stockpiled right in front. Dark Who Hales from Chicago says, It's overwhelming. You just stand there and look at everything, not knowing what to do. Dark shared footage of the superhero's fanatic layer on TikTok last week, quickly collecting over 26,000 views. He posted a longer video on YouTube, but he didn't disclose the home's location. At times throughout the house, there were two feet of toys on the floor

going right up to my knees. I was shocked. It's not like these things are junk. Everything in the house is engulfed in toys. What it, so whatever the home used to be is no longer there. Devon, there were Star Wars figurines, Superman, Spider-Man. Anything that comes to your mind when it comes to comic

book superheroes are collectibles. The place had it all. There were too many items to Estimate it would be overwhelming to even guess a number at that point So it's just mind blowing. I really wouldn't know how much all of its worth I just taking a guess that it's at least Millions of dollars left behind Clearly wasn't about the money for the previous resident. He just enjoyed the act of collecting so this is my fear Well, who owned that place?

Hold on, and you know where else? They didn't know. He didn't know. He's an urban explorer. So he was like going into empty, yes, he's trespassing. He's stealing. He's a thief.

Devon Dark. Devon Dark. And now it kind of seems porn star-ish. It is. It's like a porn star superhero. Is that maybe this is that guy with the 10 foot dick that was talking about the mess or the Yankees or whatever? Maybe he's also Devon, Devon Dick, the Devon Dark, the dick. Maybe this is that guy with the 10 foot dick that was talking about the mess or the Yankees or whatever.

Maybe he's also Devon, Devon Dick, Devon Dark, the dick, Devon the Ding Dong, Dick Dark. Devon the Ding Dong, Dick Dark, because now he's in the collectibles. He was just walking through a band in houses, sharing what he was finding. So I don't, you know, I think he probably took one or two of the toys. You had to have imagined. If probably. Probably. But I don't know what that happened.

But this house was abandoned. It had been abandoned. It was no longer owned. It was abandoned. So now there's millions of dollars left in this house. Who gets it? Probably the person who foreclosed on the house, I would imagine.

Well, I was gonna say whoever owned the property last, maybe. But you know, Dev and Ding Dong dark dark is gonna go in there and he's gonna take some of that stuff and And who could blame the guy if it's not owned by actually anybody who could blame the guy But this is my biggest fear is that one of these days They're gonna tear down that old house that I had and what they're gonna find behind the walls is a bunch of Dick Tracy stuff Because I didn't tell you another little secret that we had at my house Sometimes sometimes we would poke holes in walls so that we could hide things back there. Mainly weed.

But what we figured out as non-construction-related children is that there are actually two by fours that go vertically across the walls. So when you poke a hole, and there's an empty space back there, let's say you poke that hole right at your eye level. When you park that hole right at your eye level, it falls down. It falls all the way down.

But we didn't know that. Did you guys ever play in like a construction houses? We did, but I don't think we were smarter. I think we were too high. Basically, this was going on. After the six foot graphics, long hits we were taking. I don't think any were smarter. I think we were too high. Basically, this was going on. After the six foot graphics, Bong hits we were taking. I don't think any of us thought all that much.

But my dad had this little cutout where the water was in the basement. So he could punch it out and turn off the water in case of a water emergency. So we punched it out and we dropped weed down there. And I remember my brother doing it. I remember vividly seeing my brother dropping that down there,

and we could never retrieve it again. Yeah, I'd be like, well, you could have done like a coat hanger, maybe, and a coat hanger, the whole nine yards. So I think toward the end of the, like when my dad was selling the house, I think we actually started poking the bottom of the wall. Just like rip that shit out. Yeah, just to rip it up, but we still didn't find it. Somebody else found it, the mice.

It was your dad. The roaches, the pomelo bugs got it. It was my dad. But I just fear that one of those, one of these days, just like you said, 90s comic book, colorful comic books are gonna come back in style and Dick Tracy is gonna be at the top of the list

because of valuable things, because no one cares about Dick Tracy. So there's probably one of those magazines left. I owned it and I gave it away to somebody because I'm a shithead like that. I thought your mom got rid of the collection. She did. I think she get rid of it when I left the house. She was cleaned out the room. Yeah, she's like this. I think Rondeshi may have called me and asked, you know, hey, do you want to get this Dick Tracy stuff? Who is this? Yeah, and I'm like, who are you? Hi, mom. Hi, honey, how you doing?

I'm great, mom. I'm here under the porch. How are you doing? Well, great. I'm glad you're doing well. I got a bunch of Dick Tracy stuff. In your room, and I thought that I would send it to you. Where are you living?

Send it to the porch. Send it to one, two, three, four Smith link apartment number porch. It doesn't stand for pet house. Stands for porch. I don't understand for put say mom. Stands for porch. You be under the porch. So mom, well, I'm super happy to hear that you found my Dick Tracy collection.

I just have a few fish to fry before I get back to get that Dick Tracy collection. Like, I might need to place the live. Could you arrange that for me? But no, mommy didn't. And that's why. The little birdies have flown from the nest. And that's why my therapist is getting so much money right now is because my unresolved abandoned mission is a circle.

It is. It is. It is. It is.ment issues. It's all a circle, you know, with the economy. Yeah. With the economy. It's a circle with my anxiety. Damage your children, help the economy. That's right, damage your children, help the therapists.

Exactly, help the therapy economy. This has got to be one of the fastest growing industries. It must, with all that better help and all that shit. It's got, and it seems like anybody. It's mental health month, too. Oh, is it? Yeah. Well, let me share this with you about mental health. I think this is fantastic too, that it's all this is being brought to the forefront.

Yes. Because I mean, it's not like this is new. No. It's been going on forever. Forever. Yeah. And it's worth now. Mental health issues. And they should be talked about. It's worse now because we carry this human baggage around. The anxiety of just living as a human being in 2023. Right?

We have the human baggage, not even our own baggage, but the human baggage of just kind of living on a ball spinning through space. Well, everyone's playing, shoot them up out there. And it's just like, it's terrible and terrible and we're all stressed out and worried about the next election cycle and worried about the next economic cycle and climate change and all this other stuff. And I will say this in all seriousness, I've been going to therapy for a long time,

a long time, I know it doesn't seem like it. It's for you. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is progress. What you see here is actual progress. So you can imagine where I was 10 years ago. I saw you 10 years ago, so yes, I will attest this is progress.

I think cutting down from 18 bud lights a day to zero is probably in the right direction. But I will say this that therapy, everybody needs therapy. And insurance companies should pay for it. It should be part of managing your healthcare. I think massages, chiropractic therapy should all be included in insurance because these are things we need to help ourselves. Yes, navigate the world.

And just navigate the world. A third party impartial person to sit down and have a conversation with is more of a benefit than you could ever imagine. And you might not feel it that day and you might not feel it that moment that it's happening, that you're having that weird conversation

with your therapist. And you might take you while to get to know your therapist or them to get to know you, but the truth is you will eventually feel it. It will eventually help you. 100%. There's nothing bad about getting it out in the open. Nothing bad about it.

And if you want somebody who legally is obligated to keep your secrets, a therapist, which is why I go. I'm like, well, it's someone to share my deepest, darkest secrets with. Except our commercial break listeners. Well, yeah, now that's commercial, I've cut down in the therapy

because I have the commercial break. And what haven't I told you? I mean, honestly, what happened to you, hard? Someone just said, I just caught you of pooping in the shower conversation. It's fantastic. This is why my mother-in-law about the commercial break. Because that's the kind of guy I am.

All right, Chrissy. So you guys talk about politics? No. We don't. Someone asked me that, but you can't listen to it. Yeah. Someone claimed I've listened to the show, and they were like, I just don't want to listen to too much politics.

Politics. And I'm like, well, then clearly you didn't listen to my show. I don't know which commercial break you were listening to, but it wasn't mine. Because that's a no-go zone. You want to know why? Because it's fucking boring. Everybody else talks about it. I don't have to also. Now it's a break Yeah commercial break. It's a break from the regular bullshit and you're welcome by the way. You're welcome Okay, speaking of therapy I

Am on a roll and I know Listen so many of you give us positive feedback about this, so I'm going to stop talking to the haters. I know you love Frankie B just as much as we do. And so as fast as I can get those videos into the commercial break listening world, I'm going to, as they appear, and as I find them to be funny and appropriate, and man, do we have a great follow up video today on our last Frankie B, we kind of do Frankie B in spirts, we'll do like two episodes in a row, we'll put it away for a month and then we'll do another two, we have another spurt, here it is,

a little spurt, it's just like Frankie, I'm spurtin', pu-pupu-pupu, I'm spurtin' all over the place. And since we're gonna spurt, I figured we'd spurt with Frankie B telling guys. Remember last time he was telling girls how to date on the dating apps? Now he wants to tell guys a little something. What did he say? What do you call him? The dating, I don't know, dating app profile pages, something like that.

Just for example. The dating app website. That's what he called it. He called it the dating app website. He's like, when you're out there on the dating app websites, the dating app websites. We'll cut him a break on that one. But Frankie B, on a roll, putting out a bunch of content. How could we miss out? We have to be a part of it. Here, we're going to learn more about what Frankie thinks when it comes to guys setting up their dating profile. Chrissy, without further ado, I was trolling on the internet.

As you do. As I do like to do. G-C-B. Hey you, guess you. I hate to interrupt all the fun, but I just want to remind you that tcbpodcast.com is where you find all the audio and the video, plus you can contact us to get your free 21EPM sticker. Just go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button,

tell us you want to stick or drop us your address, and off we go. Plus, you can write to us at 855-TCB-8383. That's 1-855-TCB-8383. For all of our international listeners, we'll pick up the toll, go ahead and text us. If you have comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at 855-TCB-8383. If you want to view the commercial break in a whole new light, go to youtube.com slash the

commercial break to see the fully edited episodes. You'll love it or your money back, I promise. While you're at it, hit us up on Instagram at the commercial break and TCB live on TikTok. So let's take a minute to hear from our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. And Frankie B is back with another video on dating. I can't believe it. It's like- I can't believe he's letting his hair go gray like that. Maybe he's taking his own advice and just deciding that.

Ag natural. Ag natural. Yeah. Except don't. I don't think that acted. Yeah, acted don't. He's in his 60s. Listen, having gray hair is not a bad thing.

Oh, what? And the salt and pepper look is not bad on him. Actually, it looks more age appropriate. It does. Yeah, because the last couple of years, he's had like that, you know, black, black hair. Yeah, that fucking hair for of years he's had like that you know Hair black. Yeah that fucking hair for men or whatever they call it dark dark tan Yeah, the just for men bullshit in his whatever anyway. He's back. He's fresh. He's clean. He's looking good It's got a little salt and pepper in his here. Here's Frankie telling us more

You're a guy in your 50s and 60s. Let's just say you were recently divorced or you recently ended a long-term relationship. Like he has. That's like me. Apparently. I'm both just divorced and recently dumped. How do you do? Where do I find a woman? Oh, we're all confident when we end that relationship.

You know, we're confident that the other one is just going to pop. Who's confident after they end a relationship? I'm sorry, I've been dumped a few times and it don't feel good. It is not my shining moment. Where are you, Dubsam one else? Either you, you end it like you always feel bad unless you end it because you're with another woman. And then that case, you feel good about yourself because you uncomplicated your life.

Right. you feel good about yourself because you uncomplicated your life. Right. But if you've been going a while and that woman has not entered your life, a chance or you have not entered that woman, those trends are gonna stay. So what do you do about it? You hang out in a grocery store, you wait for that beautiful woman, the walkuppets. What was that? What is going on in this studio today? Was that her plane? No, I don't know what that was. It sounded like a plane.

Is that was that in the Frankie B video? All right, here, hold on one sec. We, I gotta go back and see if this is actually Frankie putting a noise in there. Yeah, let's see here, let's call it back. I don't think it would be him either, but I don't know where else it would come from, unless literally someone has dialed into our board

and all the sudden we're getting airplane traffic. Not entered your life. Uh, J.X. is our, those trends are gonna stay. So what do you do about it? You hang out with us. There is in the Frankie B video. Frankie is now putting transition noises, randomly in his videos.

Okay. It's kind of like the early commercial break episodes. You hang out in a grocery store? You wait for that beautiful woman to walk up and tap you on the shoulder? That's exactly what I do. Tap, tap, tap. I'm waiting for Taylor Swift to tap me on the shoulder at the public. I spend a lot of time at the public.

I mean, how do people do you know that guys together at a grocery store? I know people who have met each other at the grocery store. No. And to be fair, I did date a woman who I met at the grocery store, but she did not tap me on the shoulder. I reached for the same ice cream thing as she did and then we got to talking. I only went on one day with her. It was terrible.

And we never talked again. Yeah, and I feel like it's a creepy thing for a guy to the grocery store to pick up a girl. Yeah, but he's talking about a girl picking up you at the grocery store. I think the odds of that are pretty slim. And anybody who's watching this video, I think the odds of-

He'd be picking out his tuna. Yeah. That is how this video. I think the other thing is picking out his tuna. Yeah Is that tuna avocado fish egg dish you're making there is nice to meet you Frankie B You want my shoulder to tap? It's the bad sure at public God you're a good looking guy come on. That's not reality. Reality is it's not gonna happen. So where do we meet women? All right, easily put what in the world is he doing? I think fly in you know when I think he was it's They're called transition noises. We have him in the show. You know what I think he's doing? I think he's trying to get

YouTube to pick up on chapters by putting transition noises, But I don't think that's how you do it, Frankie. It's dating sites, but we all hate being on dating sites. Not only will you hate it, but the women who are looking for men, they hated to, everyone hates it, but we're all on one and a half billion people hate the dating sites. It's a known fact. I took an independent poll at the local Johnny's eye. And what I found was six out of seven of the women I talked to did not want to talk back. But the one that did respond said she hated the dating websites. Everybody hates the dating websites. It's hard to get laid on the dating website.

No, it's not Frankie. No, it's not. It's not. There, in today's video, I want to give the mature men, men in her 50s and 60s tips, how you can attract a woman on the dating site. So if you're ready, let's get into the video.

Boom. Yeah, okay, here comes the real transition noises which is Frankie's intro Errrr, rock it Oh yeah, lifestyle Oh, he's got a scar Da Fitness Boom

Hot women Goomy Yeah, you see her Oh, wait, do we have parasailing? Yeah, you see. Oh, there we go. We have parasailing. Yeah, he had parasailing in there. Probably not him, but you know. This is such a random intro.

It really is. By the way, he talks about nothing else except for dating. That's it. Well, I mean, that's not true. He had a couple grooming videos, a couple food videos. I largely ignore the ones where he's in the gym. So long, sweet. So long, sweet. So long, sweet. That's a business opportunity. Yes.

The first, by the way, while we're on the salon, sweet, Tina, one of our producers here, actually got her nails done at a place called the salon, sweet. The thing in the single more important thing you need to do when getting on a dating site, it's answering the right picture for your profile picture. That's your number one picture. That's the picture that's the- What's he gonna say now because- The picture.

Yeah. The picture. The picture. The picture. You know, the guy out there throwing the baseballs toward the catcher, he's the picture. And what you need is a great picture for your dating website, for the dating website.

I love that he's calling it a website. It's not a website. I mean, some of them are, but the most of them aren't. All the women are gonna be scanning through. And let me tell you about the attention span of the average woman. Well, we all know what that is, but the average. What?

What is it? I did. We all know what that is. It's better than men. That's what it is. Yes. It's scientifically proven women handle multitasking better than men. Oh my god. He's such a douche. He's so show-but-instead. Let me adjust the always falling TV in our studio He is so showered instead. Let me adjust the always falling TV in our studio. Attention span of a woman when they're scrolling through the sights, okay? They're just that quick. When he makes a, so what you don't see if you go to youtube.com slash the commercial break, but what you don't see is that when he's pretending that he's like making this motion, like

he's pretending like he's on an application Tinder, he's counting money. Yeah, he's counting money. Yeah, he looks like he's counting money. When you swipe to the right, like I do, and like I was taught, by my ex-girlfriend, when you swipe to the right, you do it with a hundred dollar bill every time. And then you let whoever's to the right of you take that hundred dollar bill, which was usually my ex-girlfriend. And when I ran out of a hundred dollar bill, she dumped me. Right? I'm that quick when I'm on the site. I know in a split second, if I'm attracted

to that woman, because we all know the look that we're looking for. So women are the same. Okay, they don't like it, but not 25, not a mile. We don't see. Yeah, we don't see cleavage. Yeah, we don't see cleavage. I'm out. I'm not, I know exactly what I'm making. Girl, I'm ponytail, boom. That's right. When I take my Viagra and I get a little half chubby, that's when I know I'm in. Half chubby's.

You're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone. So what are you? You're gone. You're gone. You're out. You're out. You're out! You're out! You're out! You're 19 years old.

You're in! You're in! You're in! You're out, you old hag! No tits! You're out! I don't know, you're out because... 18!

You're in! For you do, that profile picture has to be your absolute best photo to grab their attention and to get them to scroll down Look at more pictures and read your profile What pictures more pictures pictures? There's that transition noise again randomly in his videos. What is going on? Yeah, do you want to know something? Let me listen to that transition sound one more time. I am Suspecting something and let me turn it on and we'll see Read your profile. Let's talk about do you know whose transition noise that is? That's ours

That's our transition noise. Well to be fair so far the video, he's used three separate transition noises, but that one is ours. That's the one I created for us. Hmm, now this transition noise is out there for sale on a website, so very well that he could have gone. Why does he have three different ones? What is going on? Frankie, call me.

I can help you sharpen up the channel a little bit. What picture? What picture is gonna get attention? What should you post a picture with a 2.4 RER or lower? I'm gonna tell you what you absolutely should not post now I don't care if you're a fisherman or an avid hunter whatever you do whatever you guys. Do not post a picture of you fucking the fish. I learned the hard way. What a dead deer. Or the dead deer. That's right, Chrissy.

Those horns get everywhere. I'm telling you what, try and take a horn out of your nut sack. That's a big deal. We have that profile picture of yourself and this giant sucker fish, okay? No one cares about that. If you're an avid hunter. Oh wait, he? No one cares about that. If you're an Evan Hunter. Oh, wait, he said this in the last video.

He's repeating the same thing he said with the girls. Right. Yes. But he just... He just now just making it for men. All right. Go through it again, why not? This video's twice as long as the one on women. So it's bound to be some new information

or probably not. I guess. Don't just dead dare that you're holding up by the antlers with a smile. Again, women don't want to see that unless you live way up north in Wisconsin. Those women tend to like it. What? We have North. Near the Arctic Circle of Wisconsin.

He's from Chicago. That's not that far. No, it's an hour drive. What is he talking about? Way of North and Wisconsin. I mean, listen, the UP is up there. And it's out there, right? That's in Michigan, I think, actually. But, you know, it's up there.

Like the Northern Wisconsin is North, but there still is an entire country above that. And then more land above this. Yeah, it's not way up north it's way up north just up north but if you're going Chicago New York LA Arizona Florida women want nothing to do with a guy this all the hot spots all the hot spots LA New York Chicago Arizona he said. LA, New York, Chicago. He said, he said, LA, New York, Chicago, Florida, or Arizona. Couple cities, couple states, you know,

because they think it's in the South. Yeah, it's in the South. He has never been to Atlanta. I can always get to you. All they want to do is hunt and fish. Hunt and fish? Hunt. You want, they want to do is hunt and fish. Haunt and fish. Haunt. You want they want to haunt people? Yeah. Well, I've been on a few tender dates. He's right. It did haunt me. Just remember this. When I had to take that girl out of the tree. I'll never forget

that one. That was the haunting. Yes, it was. What you post, what you post is what you're going to attract. So if you're trying to achieve, so if you post a fit, he said blowfish because you know, blowfish or something to you typically catch in the ocean. If you catch a blowfish, you're going to get a blow jam. See your fish or something. I thought he said a blowfish.

No, he said see your fish. Well, either way, if I post a deer, I'm not going to attract a deer, Frankie. What can I have? And if you post a deer, a dead deer, you're looking for a certain kind of person. Exactly, and that actually narrows things. I agree with you.

I would think it would be more of an attraction. I know. Get the riff right out of there. I liked a hunt, and this is my deer I caught. That's right. That someone would be attracted to that right away and know what they're up against. If you can't deal with me leaving at 2.30 in the morning

during deer season and spending the afternoon in the deer stand, then don't swipe right. Yep. Act on attractive woman, you need to play the part. My suggestion on what you should wear for that profile picture, it's get some nice slacks, maybe black, white shirt, or a nice color shirt, solid, and an overcoat.

Black, white or colored? Black, white or colored, grade or polka dot, pin striped or navy striped. Get a nice shirt. Get a nice shirt. Black, white, colored. Colored, get some slacks, shorts, slacks, tights, leggings, and then put on a coat, overcoat, rain jacket,

slicker sad issues sandals dock martens smelly dock martens basically get some clothes on that's what I need you to do he's now he's dressing us why I like that picture and you want to know why women like that picture that's women are a trap

he he he he why is he doing that? I don't know and it's terribly out of it. It's terrible. It's a well-dressed man. Everybody's attracted to a well-dressed man. Everybody's doing it. I see.

It's about a well-dressed man. I see the top said. Yeah, it's easy top said. Everybody's distracted to it. Everybody swipes right on a well-dressed man on my own She's got neck The kind of old with bruises Trace got tits But the second from so many uses I really need her oh Oh, Frankie.

Frankie, you complete me. That. Can't go wrong if you pose the picture of yourself wearing what I told you. Now I understand you might be comfortable in a t-shirt, a flannel shirt, a flannel shirt with khakis, but even if that's not you and you don't like wearing slacks and overcoat I think you need to do that to attract the perks and an overcoat what are you doing I think I think of overcoat I. Me too. Like a second suicide bomber or something.

Like I don't think of swiping right on someone's picture with an overcoat. Who are you though? Local peeping Tom? Look at my penis. Charlie bit me in the penis. That's you're looking for. You'll have fire. Oops, sorry about that. Turn, throw it out.

Or better, yeah. Maybe you can run on your first date. Whoa. He's doing laughing things now. Rissy, Hodley. Frankie Bernardo. You're stealing our show. You think because we're sending people your way,

if you start making it sound like us, they're gonna stick around. Be careful. Don't bite the handed feeds Frankie. He actually put a laugh track in there. I did not do that for the record. That was not me. That was something I would do, but it wasn't me.

You were fast forwarding. No, I'm on my fast forwarding. I thought I was rewinding. I wanted to do that for just for the record that was not me. No that was something I would do But it wasn't me fast forwarding. No, I'm on my fast forwarding. Yeah, I thought I was rewinding I wanted to do that again. Yeah, even if that's not you and you don't like wearing slacks and an overcoat I think you need to do that to attract a person that you're looking for you'll have far back Look at my penis. Look at my penis. Open up your overcoat. How about my penis? I guess I'm blind. Yeah.

I'm blind, ready for you. I'm crying and this is my penis. No, it's not. Oh, look. And then after the picture, throw it out. Or better, yeah. Maybe you can run on your first dates. Alright, so we nailed down that.

Motherfucker. You motherfucker. I swear to God, I'm pissed. I'm pissed. Now I know for sure he's listening to our show without any doubt, without any doubt. Well, file picture, well dressed. It's happening. Frankie B in the commercial break our melding into one Smile remember the attention span of the average woman on these dating sites guys is bam bam bam bam bam When they come across a sharp dress guy you got their attention all right, so we got that We're about your penis and calling today. Let's go. What do we do for the rest of our profile? What's the next picture that we pose?

Or what are the next several pictures that we pose? Well, I feel you need to start getting into your lifestyle. What you're about, how you live. What do you like to do? Do you like to put up a picture of a crack pipe and a crack pipe and some protein batter. Put a couple needles in my face. Yeah, put some barbed wire in my cheeks.

An indication. Eat a piece of toast with tuna on it. Toast a tune egg, a tune egg or two before you. You don't want to forget the tune egg picture. If you do show yourself on vacation, do you like the beach? I love the beach. Show yourself on the beach because I'm gonna tell you something right now. The women in the age record. He's gonna tell us something right now. We're trying to attract, you know, we're all getting older and what do we want to do

when we get older? We want to travel more, more, more. So that's going to catch the eye of the woman that you're seeking because they want to travel. They're going to see you traveling. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach.

They're going to see you traveling. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you traveling. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see you on the beach. They're going to see that man. Look at that man wearing an overcoat at the beach.

Look over, Zrr. That man with the overcoat on the beach. Exactly. I was always looking for a flasher who enjoys warm weather. I like my peeping thumbs on the beach. I like a cold margarita and lime in my drink, a lime in a coconut. You know what I'm saying? I love it. And a man in an overcoat scaring the children away. And love the beach. When they see that photo, okay, now they're starting to get a little

bit more into you. Now we're going to get them to start reading some of your profile. So it all starts with that first great picture And then boom now the first grade picture Or the first great picture okay, just check if you in over yeah, you in and over and then you go boom into a Beach picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then that'll get the ladies to read your profile then the egg tuna Then the egg to that's right style picture and you see how you're starting to engage that woman all right what's next is what you need to do and this is a big red flag for me when I'm looking at women under dating sites guys don't

post pictures of yourself from here up only if you got all your it. If you're fat, show them. It's so, so wrong. Everything about this line of thinking is wrong. No, I know what. I mean, I get it, I get it. You don't want to be surprised as when you show up on the first date. I understand. You shouldn't be dishonest

and tell someone you weigh 120 pounds when you weigh 220 pounds. I get it, totally. But that doesn't mean that you have to show unflattering pictures just so that you look ugly. I mean, that's ridiculous. That defeats the whole premise of someplace like Tinder. Seven pictures.

From here up, there's a reason why you're doing that. You don't want to show your body. And that's a huge red flag for me when I'm looking at it. Obviously, he has Frankie. Look at my eyes. That's right. You're so vain. You're just looking for some skinny young. Just body. Yeah. Their sights. They only got pictures from here up and flying. I think he's advocating just going neck down. Yeah. Seems like it. If you show your head. Forget about the face.

If you show your head. Just go full neck down. If you show your head in the first three pictures, then you can just show your body in the next. As legs. That's what you need to do. Show your head in the first three. Show your body in the last three.

Make sure you got some cleavage because I want to see what your tits look like. Let me show you something. And this just actually came in. Okay sure you got some cleavage because I want to see what your tits look like. Let me let me show you something and this just actually came in. Okay, you know what? Let's do this. Let's press pause before he starts to show us something and we'll get into it on the next episode of the commercial break. I promise so far we've learned nothing. No. No. It's all very common sense. Put your best picture there. I say put the dead deer, the dead fish. That way we can weed you out.

Exactly, and I would go against the overcoat and slacks. You know what I'm gonna take this a step further? Show a picture of who you voted for last year. I guess. Last election cycle. Or who you're gonna vote for in the next election cycle. And then we can really just start to weed each other out. Yeah, weed it out.

We're already separated in society by who we vote for in the next election cycle. And then we can really just start to weed each other out. Yeah, we did, yeah, weed it out. We're already separated in society by who we vote for anyway. Mine as well, just get it over with, Chrissy. That's what I say. If we're gonna go down that line of thinking, show yourself with like a political, you know, poster in one hand and the religious symbol in the other. That's right. Just go for it.

And then also show your tits. And then with your tits, in an American flag, Keeney. You know what I say? On your tits, I want you to draw on your left tits, like if you're lean right, draw it on your right tits. If you lean left, draw it on your left tits. And in your nipple, tell us which religion you have. Yeah. There you go. Free the nipple.

Free the nipples. Alright, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I. Watch all the video, listen to all the audio, all from one location also, and so many stickers we're sending out lately, you don't want to miss out. 21 EPM stickers are free, they're yours, go to the website, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to sticker, send us your physical address. A lot of people have been asking us to sign them, happy to do it.

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break. Please go like and subscribe on your favorite videos. Please go though. Alright, Chrissy, I guess that's all we can do today. I think so. So I'll say I love you. And I love you. And I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say. We do say. And we love you. And I love you. And I'll say best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say. And we must say, goodbye. Goodbye.I'm a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a you