The Commercial Break - Too Many Lists!
Episode Date: December 19, 2022Bryan and Krissy use a myriad of phone apps and lists to keep track of TCB show ideas. But they cannot keep track of any of it! So...the show turns into a train wreck every episode. Just the way they ...like it. Regardless, there are too many lists. Bryan and Krissy run through unused ideas for Season 3. TCB does NO rehearsing for episodes...obvously Fact, new or fiction. Mainly fiction Lisa Bonet is on an epic run! Men always rush out quickly after a break up Watch Hotel Kalgoorlie Who wears fingerless gloves?? Pretend phone calls....you've done it...we know you have SOMM3 is not a good movie NFT are still losing value One last Love Connection clip reviewed LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Would you say that you identify as stupid dick?
What does stupid thick mean, like, thick in the head?
No, stupid dick is like, oh my gosh, she's stupid thick, like, stupid thick.
I don't know that one.
It's like, oh, like, just a rabbit, stupid dick.
I mean, I'd like to relate to just a rabbit.
I've been watching that movie with my daughters a lot lately,
and she is hot, stupid dick.
She's stupid bad.
Yes.
On this episode of the commercial break.
But I'm actually thinking I'm addicted to it a little bit.
I think I'm addicted to the drama, the fingerless gloves.
It took me months to get around to listening to your podcast,
but it's not bad.
Still have this sticker.
I know that we're not the worst, but we're not bad.
Why is it the guys who are assholes are always licking their lips a lot?
Is there something there? Am I...
The cocaine thing.
It's a cocaine thing.
I thought about a nibble!
Uncovered breasts!
Quick, get some water, wash me off! I just jeezed all over myself!
He suggested a boo!
The next episode of the commercial break starts now!
Wooo!
Yeah, Cats again, welcome back to the commercial break! I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host Kristen Joy
Totally best to you, Chrissy
Best to you out there in the podcast universe how the hell are you?
Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this the commercial break
It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in 30 seconds or less you heard it here last
That's all I'm gonna say
Okay, now we're getting toward the end of the year.
We're getting toward the end of the season.
It's been a long slog.
And I don't wanna do too much complaining
because actually we love the job.
We absolutely do.
I love it, but my most favorite job ever.
But I like being a parent too,
and I gotta take a break every couple of minutes.
I got a fond my children off to my in-laws
who are gonna be in town in like minutes
and I cannot fucking wait because I love my children
but I just have to take a break.
So here's what I think we have an opportunity
to do over the next couple of episodes
as these will be some of the last of the season.
Yes, okay.
We have an opportunity.
Let's clean out the computer, okay?
We're gonna, we have 75 different lists going
of things we can talk about in the commercial break.
None of which are centralized and everyone has their own ideas.
So what it usually ends up happening is I go into my notes and I figure out something to talk about.
Seconds before the actual microphones turn on.
If you think this is true improv in the most...
I was gonna say we are totally improving at the whole time.
In the most pure way.
It's like, I had someone asking the other day.
They said, do you rehearse the show?
Because a lot of these jokes are just too funny to make off the cup.
Not jam.
That guy was drunk.
Because I don't know what show he's listening to, but nothing about this is probably much very funny.
But second of all, there is zero chance.
There is zero rehearsal about this.
We literally, Chrissy walks in, I press record, we go.
That's it.
She has no idea what we're going to talk about.
I barely have any idea what we're going to talk about.
And then usually even if we do know what we're going to talk about, we'll talk about it.
We go down wormholes of different things.
I know.
And then like, I was talking to another podcaster
and she says, well, maybe you guys in season number four,
I wasn't complaining, I was just like, you know,
I feel like sometimes like it's a little bit
of a train off the tracks,
which is go every different direction
and then it kind of comes together somehow,
some way some shake.
And she was like, well, why don't you guys sit down
and before every show and spend a half an hour
like talking about the show,
and I'm like, if we do that,
it's guaranteed to be even less funny
than it is right now.
Guarantee, because part of the cuteness of the show,
like the kink of the show,
is the fact that we really are clueless
about what we're talking about.
Yes, and we've known each other for so long,
we're such best friends that it just works.
You know that guy, you know that guy,
Sam, Bankman, Friedman, or Friedman, or whatever his name is?
Yes.
I was listening to our episode the other day,
and we called him Adam Friedland, his name is,
I had just finished reading that story before we came on air.
And I couldn't even remember the guy's fucking name.
Did we care?
No, we did not.
They got people aren't coming for,
for informal, actual information.
Well, we have our disclaimer.
Yeah, we do.
Fact news are fiction.
You have.
Yeah, I should say fact news,
mainly fiction in 30 seconds or less.
So what?
Maybe that's what we'll do is have just some like
correct spellings of names.
Yeah, we should just at least know what we're talking.
When we talk about someone in the news,
we should at least understand what their name is.
Yes.
Or get some of the facts, right?
You know what I'm saying?
The good news is we don't talk about news in your face.
Because I'm sure we'd end up in some courts.
Absolutely, we would.
Okay, you ready?
Let's play clean out the computer.
Okay.
All right, I'm just going to name off some topics that I thought about talking about one time.
And then we'll go through it.
Are you ready?
Jason Mamoah is nude everywhere.
Click that one off the list.
But it's true.
Did you notice that Jason Mamoah is basically just naked in 2022?
He's got the body to do it.
God bless America, he does.
Fuck yeah.
Flown it.
Even as a red blooded American man.
I know that Jason Mahmoa has one smoking hot pot.
Yes.
He's big too.
Yeah.
That's what makes it so impressive.
It's not that he's got a nice body.
Lots of people have nice bodies.
That he's fit and in shape.
And he probably doesn't do anything for it.
He's out in Hawaii,
swinging on vines or whatever the fuck Jason Mahoa does. Isn't he married to Lisa Bonet?
He was with her. That's Crabid's daughter, isn't it? Oh my god, is she beautiful? No, no,
it's his, it's Crabid's ex-wife. He has, they, then they have Zoe or Zoe, Zoe Kravitz. Zokro?
Zokro.
He's beautiful too.
I mean.
But wait, that's his wife?
His ex wife?
Yeah, at least his Renee, that is his ex wife.
So Jason, they got married back when she was on like Cosby show.
Yeah, like different strokes or different world or whatever it was.
Yeah.
Okay, so let me get this straight because we're always talking about this Pete Davidson guy
and the epic run that he's on.
So Zoe Kravitz, or Zoe, what's her...
That's Kravitz, that's her last name.
That's her last name.
She got married, then she got divorced now.
But she kept Kravitz.
So Zoe Kravitz, Momoa, or whatever.
Okay, let's go with that.
No, no, Momoa.
She's not married to Jason.
You're totally confusing me. Was she married, no, no, no, no. She's not married to Jason. You're totally confusing me.
Is she married to Jason?
Who, Zoe?
Zoe.
No, she's the daughter of Lisa.
Lisa was married to Crabitz.
And then Lisa got together with Jason Momoa.
This is why you don't trust a fucking word
that the commercial break says.
I'm pretty sure I've got that timeline right.
Okay, but so Lisa has now been married to Lenny.
She was back in the day, okay, head Zoe, okay.
And then now she got together with Jason.
I don't think they got married.
They stuck it together.
Well, they're not together anymore for sure, but I don't think they ever got married.
All right.
So first of all, that's why he's on an epic nude run.
It's because the guy just got broke,
had a long, had a heartbreak.
And what do we do?
What does us men do when we have a heartbreak?
We run around getting drunk and show on our dicks.
That's what we do.
That's how we heal ourselves.
The men go first.
This is what men do during a breakup.
Men run out to the bar and they, as fast as they can,
show their dick to somebody.
Okay.
That's what happens.
Because we feel like
if we can just fill that void, literally fill that void.
Somebody else tell me it's awesome.
Somebody else tell me it's awesome.
Because we could, you know, anyway, that's what we do.
We run out.
What women do, I've noticed in my personal experience,
what the women who have dated me do is they take three
to four months for heavy psychiatric.
And then they get back out into the dating scene.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Because women...
I gotta get some cocaine!
I gotta be crazy!
That's what men do.
But men, women, lick their wounds.
To really, you all are really fucking smart.
You have a little self-reflection. You protect yourself.
That's right.
You chain, you know, you get new clothing,
you paint the walls, different colors.
You burn the guys clothing.
You burn the guys clothing.
Meanwhile, we haven't flushed a toilet in a week.
There's pee all over the seat.
We forgot to shower yesterday.
We're eating fucking golden grams in cream for months on end.
And then when you emerge, it's like the Phoenix rising
out of the ground.
Look at how amazing I am.
And look what you lost.
That's right.
And as the whole opens and the Phoenix rises,
us men just fall right into it.
And three months later we're depressed for seven months.
We gain weight, we get fat, we tell all our friends,
we can't go out
cause life sucks that I hate my life.
We get fired from our jobs.
That's what happens.
We always talk about this Pete Davidson guy
and what Epic run he's on, but the truth is
that Miss Bonet has also been on an Epic run
and she stated both Lenny Crabitz or Fucked,
both Lenny Crabitz and Jason Mammol.
That's an Epic run.
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's been like,
you know, within the past 30 years, but yeah.
I don't, 30 years.
I feel like a run.
I'm running with Lisa Bonet.
I feel like a run is one right after the other after the other.
Well, she did it.
It just took a long time to get there.
Pete's going through much quicker,
and much more quickly,
because I think that Pete's getting found out pretty quickly.
These women are like, you know, oh, he was fun.
He was with Kim Kay so fun and he's funny and he tickles my, my, whatever you call him.
Fancy.
Yeah, he tickles my fancy, my laughter, my clit laughter.
You know, it makes my, he's like my clit laughter.
My labia laughter.
But then they realize that he's just kind of a dork with a lot of tattoos and who dated Kim Kardashian.
I guess that's what happens.
Okay, so Jason Momoa knew it everywhere.
It took us seven minutes to get through that one.
We should, we're doing just fine.
I wanted to also talk about at some point during season number three.
I wanted to talk about Simon Guvadia.
Do you remember Simon Guvadia?
Do you remember scam Cole FM?
Go back and listen to the episode scam Cole FM.
It's like way at the beginning of the season
and it was like the one episode of the season
where we actually got a little serious
because I talked about my experience.
Or was that even last season?
No, it was this season I think.
Yeah, it was like, oh yeah, you know what?
You might be right because I think we're in the old stream.
That's right, in the other room. I say it was like, oh, yeah, you know what? You might be right because I think we're in the old stream. That's right.
In the other room.
I say the other studio.
She says the other room.
The room across the hall.
We're in the other closet.
I don't believe in the other room.
So Simon Guabadiah, who managed to scam his way
onto the real housewives of
not Atlanta. They are married. Met and then slept. He was
married to one woman when he started on real housewives of Atlanta. He then
cheated on that woman with Porsche. And then he got engaged to Porsche. They
bought a bunch of real estate in Costa Rica. Don't ask me how that happened because the guy's got no money.
But then he got married.
This just happened a while back.
This was just like two months ago or something like that.
It's hard to believe that the epic run that this guy's on.
He keeps falling fucking upwards.
That guy just failed business after failed business after failed marriage after failed restaurant
after failed experiment. And the guy just leaves a wake of destruction and he just keeps going. Yeah.
Something about that guy. Something about that guy. Keep an eye on for him. He's going to be the
next Adam Friedland. Check that off the list. I watched the most. Do you remember a couple months,
maybe a month ago we were talking about how in the restaurant business women have to basically whore themselves out in order to
make a buck.
And some men probably feel this too.
In other words, you have to be flirtatious when you get to the table, especially if it's
a group of guys, because you feel like you have to earn that tip.
You want to get as much money as possible.
So it puts you in a difficult position of having to maybe do and say things that you otherwise normally wouldn't because you're
in fear that you could lose revenue if you don't in fact do those things. We talked about
how kind of the tipping system is upside down and it certainly doesn't favor winning in
this particular equation at bars or restaurants. I watched the most excellent documentary that is also fucking brilliant and hilarious called Hotel Cargoole.
Oh.
Check this out on Netflix.
Okay.
Oh, Amazon.
Oh.
Netflix.
Amazon.
Disney Plus.
Discovery.
Check it out on one of the time I'm in here.
I don't even know.
Hotel Cargoolee.
In Australia, there is a place called Cargoolee.
It's like a minors town.
Basically, only trucks go in and out of it, right?
That's it.
So it's a tiny little town,
population like 180 or whatever.
And they have a hotel there called Hotel Cargoolee.
And at the bottom is one of the only bars
in anywhere
to be found within miles and miles
in the middle of fucking Western Australia.
Okay.
Is Hotel Cargouli bar?
But because it's so remote,
they have a hard time finding people to staff the bar.
So the owners of the bar call up a service,
that service then finds out of the country immigrants
essentially who go and work at the bar. Those immigrants just happen to be beautiful young women that they send to the bar.
So the whole fucking town gets so excited about the brand new girls that come in every three
or four months. They come in for like a 90 day stint or six months stint. So this follows
the trajectory of two, I think they're Norwegian women, I think young,
Norwegian girls, you know, good-looking Norwegian girls who got stuck without any money in the
middle of Australia, and so they have to pick up a job, and this is the job they pick up so they
can save money and get out of the country essential. This is the most fascinating look at this kind
of principle we were talking about, a pay for play when it comes to tipping
and women.
This is the most fascinating inside look at this actually happening in real time in the
most blatant of ways and it is also fucking hilarious.
It's like an intimate portrayal of how this all goes down.
50 guys in a bar, all of them minors, none of them has a, there's like not one manor in the entire building.
I'm sure.
You know how you like your parents teach you some manners?
There's not like one manor in the entire building.
They're completely unhinged.
They're like a pack of wild wolf toward boners.
They just run around, they scream at the girls,
you know, let's shout out my your tits!
You know, it's disturbing, but it's funny,
and it's an intermopentrale.
Watch hotel for Google.
I will.
Fingerless gloves. I hate fingerless gloves.
This is fun. We should do this more often. Just clean it all out.
Fingerless gloves. I have to say I'm with you on that. Yeah. Who the fuck and why the fuck are you wearing fingerless gloves?
When your hands gets cold, it's your fingers that get cold.
Why are you deciding to take off the only part hands gets cold, it's your fingers that get cold.
Why are you deciding to take off the only part of the appendage that would actually keep
you warm and to show it?
There's a guy.
Same guy you and I are always texting about on Instagram.
This is the guy.
Let me explain to you folks.
Let me explain to you listeners about a guy that I know on Instagram.
He's not a friend of mine.
He's a guy that I met one time in Clubhouse.
He tried to get on the show a couple of times.
We've got.
Clubhouse is an app for those of you who don't know.
That's two seasons ago.
Chrissy and I were on Clubhouse for a minute.
We met him one time.
He tried to get on the show.
We decided it was not a good fit.
Nice enough guy, right?
Sure.
But here is how he puts out so many.
I love it when you send me there.
I know, it's just, it's really hilarious.
I would play it, but I don't want to offend anybody.
I just don't want to hurt anybody's feelings in this particular way.
But if he's listening, he'll know.
He'll know who he is.
Let me explain to you how every single Instagram real starts.
Are you ready for those of you listening at home?
And you can't seem, I have a phone up to my ear ready. Yeah
Oh, yeah, I think if we do it this way on the second time around then
Then that's where hey folks welcome to Instagram. It's me
Brian I'm just here. It's like he's finishing up a conversation
He's always finishing up a conversation while he's filming himself on air. Yeah, can't. Yeah. He can't let you
Like just go ahead and finish the conversation and then press record
But the thing that we've learned is he's not actually having a conversation with anybody. He's making it up
It's like the pretend phone call that I talked about. We've all made him. We've all been there
Yes, we are for one reason another, someone comes up to you
or you're in the situation and you're like,
oh shit, I don't wanna have this conversation.
Let me make a pretend phone call,
but it's the opposite way.
He wants to make a phone call,
so you think he's doing something important.
Every single fucking real.
So two weeks ago, he does this, he's again, yet another real
and he's a performer, so he's backstage somewhere, right?
And he's got the phone, and he's holding it,
and he looks behind him, and he goes,
yeah, I know, we really did a great on that first one,
we'll get him back on the second time, don't you worry,
you know, there's plenty of things happening,
hey folks, it's Brian here, just helping you.
And then he spins the camera around the room
because that's just the way he's walking, and you figure out that there is no one else in the room
No
The guy is talking to himself
He does this every time he opens up a real every fucking time same guy who is now wearing fingerless clubs in the middle of
The fucking New York when it's
minus 75 degrees. Why are we wearing fingerless gloves? To what end? The only thing I can think
about is if you then you do want to get on the phone and you know the touch screen but they have
that gloves now that do that. Yeah and if you need to be on the phone and your gloves do not have
the touch screen ability then let's just call a spade a spade.
The half glove is not keeping you warm anyway.
Just take the fucking thing off.
Don't let that get fucking job.
So stupid.
Yeah!
It's the most bothersome thing to me.
I just, I don't know why that guy just drives me fucking crazy.
But I actually think I'm addicted to it a little bit.
I think I'm addicted to the drama, the fingerless gloves.
Okay, I did want to talk about another movie that I watched called Psalm 3. Have you ever seen the series of movies about the sommelier's?
No. Okay, sommelier for those of you that don't know.
Oh, no, no, yes.
Have you seen it?
I love this.
You have seen, yes.
Have you seen Psalm 3?
I have seen Psalm 3. Is it not the most boring thing you've ever seen in your entire life? It is. In your entire that? I love those. You have seen, yes. Have you seen Psalm three? I have seen Psalm three.
Is it not the most boring thing you've ever seen
in your entire life?
It is.
It is.
The first two were really good.
The first one was great.
And then the second one was,
eh, it was okay, it was watchable.
For those of you that don't know,
it's like a world class wine taster.
They can literally pick,
they can literally have a glass of wine
and they can drink it
and they can tell it and they can
tell you what region it's from, what year, what kind of soil and the whole thing.
They have highly trained palis.
What it's good for, I don't know.
But okay, there's Somalia's in there around the world.
I actually have a friend who is a working in the wine business.
That's what they're good for.
So then they have something called a master Somalia.
Like a master Somalia is a whole different level of Somalia.
They can pick out the actual brand of wine and the year,
just by seeing-
They can be on everything, basically.
So on Psalm 3, Somalia 3,
they focus in on two particular, three particular master Somias.
Right, the masters.
And they do, they're referencing this famous wine tasting
that happened in France that that were the California wines
Yeah, be the French wines as if as if I mean I
Understand everything's important in its own context
But they just did a horrible job of making it exciting. I was like I don't really fucking care
It seems so dramatic but in the end there was nothing dramatic about it.
Well, yeah, I guess, never they were in that like a conference room.
Yes.
Like a little round table conference room and something who tells some.
You're right. Inferno.
Or, you know, tasting wines and figuring things out and commenting.
Yeah, they were talking about how that line made the competition.
No, but that wasn't the con. I don't even know what we were supposed to be focusing on. If you want to
watch a movie that's completely boring and totally confuses you, Psalm 3. I think that's
just... I think this is a reason to get money out of Netflix so that they can fire around
to the regions of France and take slides. Well, if that's the case, good job. Best to you,
Psalm 3. Yeah, best to you. Hey, don't hate the player.
Hate the game.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm with you here.
I'm with you.
In
In-e-knowledgement.
Okay.
Of one of what I think is probably one of the greatest
like entertainment stories of our generation.
Is Trevor Noah is retiring from comedy centrals daily show. Yes. He's going
back to stand up. He took 12 years. He had for 12 years after John Stewart who had it after
Craig. What was it? Craig Killborn? Yeah. Craig Killborn. Craig Killborn, John Stewart,
and then Trevor Noah. When Trevor Noah came on Comedy Central the first time,
when they announced him as the daily show replacement
for John fucking Stewart, everyone,
including myself was like, what?
What?
What the fuck is Trevor Noah?
And he's from South Africa.
Is the daily show like a,
there's so much talking about American politics
and American pop culture, that's what it's all about.
But the daily show has become a true source of
news and information for a lot of people even though it's highly satirical
a lot of people i think tune into the daily show because it's a digestible way to get there in
well it is and at least it's palatable what to where you're not depressed yeah i mean
look at how miserable we get to some of the news sources. If you
get your news from a podcast, from a podcast or the Daily Show, you got problems. But Trevor
Noah took this job and really made a name for himself. He ran with it. And I have to give
the guy so much credit and I admire him so much because he wasn't nobody and everyone said
what the fuck are they doing, putting Trevor Noah in, but he'll be there for a year, right?
He's never going to be able to survive this this and he really made the daily show his own and I think while they don't watch the daily show a ton and I probably died
Yeah
While I don't watch it a ton and I digest it probably like most people do in YouTube clips and Instagram clips
I will say this Trevor Noah is certainly one
of the most talented comedians.
Yeah, satirists of our times, like he is so good
at what he does and he's so fucking funny
and he's so fucking quick.
And I really think that we're losing kind of a,
just like when John Stuart left.
I feel like this is a big place.
It was hard to imagine a replacement.
So who are they gonna put in place?
I don't know.
Jason Momoa.
I mean, listen.
If you can't, I mean, if you can't beat him,
join him, just get Jason Momoa to do the news shirtless.
I can't even think of who would be a good replacement
for traveling.
I want to say like Will Arnet, something like that.
Yeah, okay.
Will Arnet.
I think he's hilarious.
I think John
Popper from the Blues Traverse would be a great fit for the for the Daily Show. Skinny
John Popper. Not large John Popper. John Popper skinny is what I think. He could just play
the harmonica one and you know when anything goes wrong. He just does a little
number. Let's see if I've got a little John. Here's a little john popper popper
popper popper popper
okay Trevor know out of the way here's next
nfts I know we've had a big we had a lot of conversation around nfts this
year
and the unfortunate part is for most people who own f nfts they're probably a lot
less valuable they were What they bought the NFTs?
The NFT market is not doing so hot, and either is the crypto market.
In case anybody has a notice.
No.
Billions and billions and billions of dollars lost.
Billions and billions and billions of dollars created out of thin air and then back to thin
air.
Do you still have any crypto?
I have one type of crypto crypto and it's not decentralized.
Okay.
So it's not what they call defy.
It's actually centralized.
It's weird and I don't want to get into all of it here.
I don't want to be some alie 4 and bore everybody to fuck a death with my crypto talk.
But there's one coin that I think actually has some utility in it and that the banks and
credit card companies, processing companies, are interested in using in the future because
it's not decentralized in a way that makes it just vulnerable to all this bullshit.
And its price has stayed relatively stable for years.
Now that's not good for me because I'm not actually gaining any money.
Right, you've got it as a gain money, right?
But I think at some point, I haven't lost any money.
It certainly happened.
But NFTs, I think, arguably, have taken one of the bigger hits in this whole decentralized
crypto blockchain bullshit.
And that's because people have figured out that paying $55,000 for a picture of a hat
is probably not the best idea.
Yeah, well, there was just a wild craze for them.
They went, people went nuts.
Yeah, and that drove up the price against applying the man.
So people were demanding them, then they got supplied.
And then there was so much supply.
I'm just crap.
Crap.
It's all crap.
It's all a pump and dump stand.
It's one thing to have the Madonna NFT and have that.
I mean, even though I wouldn't buy that. I wouldn't. I would. It's a picture of a tree growing out of Madonna's vagina.
Right. Who wouldn't want that hanging out? Exactly. That seems like it has the value, but like just random people creating
the TV. Well, yeah, there's so many random people creating NFTs that really, and listen, art has value. It has inherent value,
and especially to those that create it and to those that love it. It's hard to put a value
on art. That's why Picasso goes for, you know, $55 million when some people just might
think Picasso's kind of like crappy artwork, right? It's so sub-fucking subjective.
It's very subjective.
That is ultimately its weakness when it comes to scams and con artists,
is that they pump and dump this stuff.
You feel like you're so afraid that you're gonna miss out
on getting rich quick, that you go and spend a ton of money
on stuff that really, yeah, you get poor quick, that's right.
I was just reading a story, someone sued,
someone was suing a bunch of celebrities
and one of them was Justin Bieber because Justin
owned a board ape, a board ape, he owned a board ape, he bought it, he bought it for
1.2 million dollars, which by the way is not the highest that's ever been paid for a board
ape either. People were paying millions and millions of dollars at one point. Well now
the floor on those things is like $ eight thousand dollars it's still very expensive but
it's different it's not millions of dollars so guy purchases this from Justin Bieber the
board a board a the Justin Bieber bought for one point two million dollars he buys for
like one point eight million dollars right and now it's worth like thirty two thousand
and he's saying that Justin Bieber, you know,
was involved in some scam to defraud him of money. And the truth is, it's got guys. Just
be here's my advice. After so many years of living on this earth, after so much experience,
after so much knowledge, most of it useless and and and none of it probably be real. But whenever these new fangirl things come out,
that everyone's running and trying to get rich on,
it's not real, it can never be real.
It's not, you don't get rich overnight
unless you create a podcast like the commercial break.
That's the only way you're gonna get rich quick.
And even then, we're three years in.
The quick is relative. It might be. Yeah. The only person who can get rich off this is my wife after I die.
All of a sudden, the commercial breaks are going to take off like a rocket.
That's why they invented. Like many artists when they die, their work becomes more popular.
Who told this to Kurt Cobain? I forget who's so to do. Who told this to Kirk Cobain I forget who so to who told this to Kirk Cobain I don't know but it was told to Kirk Cobain at one point you're worth so much more
dead than you'll ever be alive and how true that really is so in reflection of what's happened in
NFT world I want to offer a fig leaf if you will is it a fig leaf or is it a fig leaf, if you will. Is it a fig leaf or is it fig leaf something that covers your bones?
Olive branch, that's what it is.
I want to offer a fig leaf with my balls behind it.
I want to offer you a fig branch.
It's more like a fig tree trunk, if you know what I mean.
Not about the length, it's about the girth,
ladies, I just don't know that. Not about the length, it's about the girth, ladies.
I just don't know that.
I thought we have a real problem here
at the commercial break.
And that is anytime that we do anything
in real life outside the podcast,
no one pays attention.
Instagram, T-shirts, giveaways.
Now to be fair, we also don't do real well outside of the studio. We do great when
the microphones are on, but then we're just kind of like, eh, no one cares. But we have hundreds.
If not thousands of stickers, series number one, we were going to have a series of these.
Right. And we didn't even get to series one. I'm afraid every saying people can get sticker books.
Yeah. And it's collect, collect them all.
That's right, collect them all.
How about just collect all of the ones we have left
in the first year?
We just have the first series.
How about many of them?
So I'd like to introduce the new launch of our project
for the end of season number three, NFT, IRL.
So we're actually gonna, we're actually gonna sell NFTs,
but instead of being on the blockchain,
they're gonna be in your postbox. So it's kind of like the blockchain, but it's the postbox.
We are now selling our stickers, Chrissy, NFT style, but you actually gonna hold them.
You can't put them on, you can only get them on your phone if you stick them on your phone.
We're gonna be selling these for $55,000. That's $355 each.
We're going to be selling.
So you send the money on over to Chrissy and I and we'll eventually get to sending you
that sticker.
Probably the reason why we have some of these stickers because people ask for them, we
may have never sent them.
We're kind of weak in the mail to buy.
We get some out at Mempho.
We did give some out of it.
But you know, we had someone text us actually,
probably like three weeks ago, four weeks ago,
they texted us a picture of their Mempho sticker.
Oh, nice.
And they said, this is what they said.
It took me months to get around to listening to your podcast,
but it's not bad.
Still have this sticker. it's not bad. I still have this sticker.
It's not bad.
There's a rousing adoris, but other cars are right.
Do we even post our syndrome?
No.
I think so.
I do.
I know that we're not the worst, but we're not bad.
We're good.
We're better than most, but not as good as the best.
That was from a review.
I actually will take that because that makes me feel good.
Does that make you feel good?
Yeah.
It does. It makes me feel it makes me feel it makes me feel it makes me just take pride in not being the worst. When you set expectations low, you're bound
to meet expectations. That's how I see it. We're coming close to them. Okay, we'll get
some more moving through the computer because there are hundreds of items. We'll get to
more as we move into the very end of the season. We have a couple more episodes.
I'll pull out my notes too. It's hard to believe. Do you know that, you know, I went back
and I looked at how many episodes we've done this year. Take a guess.
Thousands.
Thousands.
Yeah.
Including the ones who didn't air.
Including the ones we did not air, we are well into the hundreds. Well into the hundreds.
There's 29 hours of material that has not been
aired. Wow. 29 hours of material that has not been aired. Probably for good reason.
I mean, a lot of the stuff is just it's just bad. Even Babe Ruth struck out every once.
As a matter of fact, Babe Ruth struck out a lot. He was one of he was a home run hitter,
but he struck out most of the time. Yeah. And that's how I feel like the commercial break
is. That's true. We hit a home run here there. We're just really striking out a lot. That's what we're doing
How many episodes taking guess I mean 200 we're close we're at like a hundred and fifty eight
Episodes and by the time we finish the season will be like a hundred and seventy nice
So you can feel proud when I got our Spotify wrapped, you know,
the Spotify wrap is I'm so proud of that.
Yeah, I'm so proud of our Spotify wrap because it really shows that when you go from zero to 10 listeners,
you grow by 10,000. I mean so much. So much.
We went through the room. But one of the things that they showed us that I was really impressed by
is this season alone. This season alone we've created 7,218 minutes of content.
Put on the Spotify servers.
Isn't that crazy?
Seven thousand minutes of our life wasted here
at this studio, probably talking to nobody.
It's amazing, I feel amazed.
You know what time it is. It's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break.
And I'll keep it short because you already know.
855-TCB-8383. That's one.
855-TCB-8383 is how you get a hold of us directly.
It's not a spam text message line. You can send us your comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas all through text message to 855-TCB-8383. If you're
brave, leave a voicemail. We want to know about your favorite moment from season number
three. That's all of 2022. Any episode, any clip, any moment, text us. Please let us know.
We've got a special surprise between season three and season four, and we want you involved.
Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, you can also send us a message there,
listen to all the audio or watch all the video.
Better yet, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch full episodes in a whole new
like.
Watching the video version will give you extra tickles right in your pickles.
One more tiny little favor, if you are ever in the market for our sponsors, products
or services,
please use the specialized URL's or codes or go to the website that we mention on those
advertisements so that the sponsors know we're doing a wonderful job.
Let's listen to a word from those wonderful financial sponsors and then we'll be back
to this episode of the commercial break.
Alright, everybody.
I gotta let you know about our wonderful sponsors, Lulu Lemon.
Last week, I stopped by the Lulu Lemon store to get myself a pair of joggers.
You think Lulu Lemon is just for yoga pants you are wrong just like I was.
Lulu Lemon can accommodate almost any piece of your wardrobe and they do it in style
and in comfort.
It's the most cozy, the most comfortable, the most flattering, active
and casual wear you will ever purchase. And now Lulu Lemon is a sponsor of the commercial
break. So go to LuluLemon.com. This holiday season, their website has hundreds of different
styles for men and for women. Jackets, slacks, hoodies, sweatshirts, socks, underwear, and
yes, active wear. It's all available at Lululemon.com.
Guys, don't be shy, I swear, these are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn.
I'm saying it again.
Never did I picture myself a Lululemon kind of guy, and now I'm sold for life.
Chrissy got a jacket, she's in love with it, Astrid's ordered some apparel for after the
baby comes, and now I am buying some slacks for Christmas.
So go to lululemon.com, get comfortable, get cozy, get lululemon this holiday season.
For anyone who needs a little comfort in their life, lululemon.com, and we want to thank
lululemon for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break.
We got a couple more shows left, so I thought we'd get to some fan favorites.
Okay.
I took a couple of text messages that have been sent to us over the last couple of months.
One of the fan favorites, ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, is our dating game reviews.
Oh, yeah.
So the love connection, the dating game, the British version.
I don't know, we did the love couch or something like that.
Who knows?
But we've done a lot of dating game reviews, and I actually think it's a good fit for us.
And so I thought we'd go back to the well one more time, just like we did with Frankie
B and just like we did with a mountain monsters.
Okay.
I felt like we'd go back to the well one more time and let's find our good friend Chuck
Wollery doing another love connection in the 80s.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
I was drawing out the oven news and 10.
Whoa.
I started a little early there.
Got a head start.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Hey.
I feel like one of those mountain mountains.
Whoa.
Hey.
I don't know what they're doing.
They're doing it.
They're down there.
They're doing it.
They're saving.
Whoo.
I don't know what he said, but I'm scared shitless.
So, Chrissy, I was drawing on the internet. As you as you do as I do like to do and I found a love connection
What do you say we take a gander? I would love to right here. We go here's Chuck and
Video calibration is taking place
Women drivers so you got a problem with women driving well, you know, it's like sure dude
So you've got a problem with women driving. Well, you know, it's like...
Yeah, I sure do, Chuck.
Wow.
Starting off strong there.
Yeah.
What a gentleman.
Women driving?
What's that?
You can, sure, you can drive no problem.
You sit where the horse usually sits,
and you pull us over to the market.
Thanks, Martha. I feel like everybody in to the market. Thanks Martha.
I feel like everybody in the 1800s was named Martha.
Well, it when it started off as Martha's Bill.
Clio P or something like that.
Clio P. What did my wife wanted to name our daughter?
Like, oh, I forgot the name.
I'll think of the name, but it was something
that you would not name a daughter in the 2000s.
Okay.
It was from like 1822.
It was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, I don't know.
I don't know.
Something like that.
Margaret or something.
I was like, Margaret, the things are, Margaret, I think it's Margaret's okay.
But it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, I think.
Okay.
Uh, women drivers, now I don't think all women are bad drivers, but some are, you'll
be just the ones with vaginas.
I mean, those are some with vaginas. Oh,
no, or some men. Oh, please, Chrissy. It's a well-known fact. It's a well-known fact.
He's a well-known fact, Chrissy. It's a well-known fact, Chrissy, that penises make better driving.
When you have a penis, you have a better sense of direction. Yeah, a better arm. That's right. Yeah.
You ever seen those guys out in the farms,
like looking for water with those two sticks?
Your penis does the same thing with driving directions.
You'll be on the road and you look over
and you'll look at a girl in her head's
popping up and down like, you'll have to blind her, Zon.
No, she's giving me a blowjob
No reason at all there you know and more than likely their car will be sticking out in the road some guy'll come on
Hit the car get a ticket the girl walk away Scott clean But if she had wasn't bobbing up and down
Well, he's a keeper this experience. Yeah, he either had this experience or he's got a wild imagination
He's a keeper. He's a keeper.
He's a keeper.
He either had this experience
or he's got a wild imagination.
Her head is bobbing up and down.
What does that even mean?
Like this, she's dancing.
I don't know, Chrissy.
This guy's a real catch right off the bat.
Yeah, and Chuck loves them.
Oh, yeah.
You know, and they're bad on directions.
But in all fairness, don't you think some men
are like that as well?
Yeah, thank you, Chuck.
Oh, thanks, Chuck.
I wish you had the same views now that you did them. Yeah
But I'm not completely biased
82 I'm just mostly biased 80 20
penis is favored
Now you see a lot of women find you arrogant what exactly do you
You don't say
Don't say what do you mean by that?
Well, Jason Point, what you just said.
Well, I guess I'm an asshole.
Even my mom calls me an asshole.
A lot of confidence in myself and my abilities.
Take it or leave it.
You know what I guess?
I'm gonna have left it because he's on a fucking dating show.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah, I know.
I mean, it's into Davias that he's not doing well.
He's on a dating show.
And he's spewing all of this bullshit, on a dating show.
Either he's one of these guys who likes to rile things up.
He's just talking because he knows.
There's all, you know, the heel and wrestling.
Do you know what a heel is?
The heel is the bad guy, right? But the heel oftentimes gets the attention and adoration of the crowd as much as the actual
Here are and I gotta ask another question. Why is it the guys who are assholes are always licking their lips a lot?
Is that is there something there? Am I a cocaine thing?
It's a cocaine thing
Where guys always chewing their bottom jaw?
go king. Where guys always chewing their bottom jaw. And that's fine. If they walk away, then I don't take a person. Well, anyway, you're going to show you the women the Bob
had to choose from. Well, anyway, you're not. So let's get to the show. Stop. Don't forget
you. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. You're right there. Let's get to the women before we get
to the date. Pick the woman that you think's best for him. Here we go.
First Su-Ann, she never kisses on a first date.
She will kiss on a second date unless it's a lunch date.
Now, she doesn't mind.
No, something like those rules are complicated.
I have a hard-knough time navigating dating as it is.
This is just start putting out a schedule of kissing and trouble.
A pain when she goes out and she thinks that some men talk too much.
Here's an example of that I get.
They have to fill it up with a necessary conversation.
There can't be silence.
They're not comfortable with just not saying anything.
Okay, we're having a good time.
We can just be quiet for a few minutes.
Oh God, the uncomfortable silence usually comes like after three years of dating.
I mean, isn't that like the number one rule.
I feel like it's a lot like the commercial break.
Don't let any dead air go out.
No, yeah, you gotta keep talking, fill it up.
Yeah, but when you're on like date number one, two, three, four, ten, you gotta have something
to talk about.
Yeah, hopefully.
If you keep the conversation going, there's-
Hopefully you don't know everything about the person by that point.
Well, I just know everything.
Period.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
And next Tina, her favorite opening line is,
Hi, I'm Tina.
How do you like me so far?
She says that she meets a lot of men.
It's...
How many of you use that one?
I have right.
How do you like me so far?
According to my reviews, less than half the people
like me a lot.
Jam and unlike Su-Anne, Tina refuses to ever pay for a date and here's why.
Oh, yeah, mom's like.
I think it's important that a date pays for me.
I mean, I could not imagine paying for a date simply because I think that shows that
whether or not they're capable of providing for you, 10 years down the line when you have three kids.
How has she been dating Frankie?
It just goes to show that attitudes in general were different.
Oh, yeah, this guys, we're not even talking about 30 years ago.
Well, we are talking about 30 years ago.
Okay, we're talking about 30 years ago.
And these attitudes are so today they seem archaic, yeah, for sure. Okay, finally, Olinda, Olinda moved here a month ago from Seattle. She claims that she won't
date a man with a with a mustache or bad teeth. Now, she recently spotted a great looking
man at a club. And here's how she got his attention. As he was making his way through this narrow aisle way that I was sitting on, I just stuck
my foot out and tripped him and he didn't fall the way down.
He ended up with a broken clavicle and critical condition.
I came in to play nerds if you know what I mean,
jock. What a weird thing to do. I almost killed him. He stood up and
are he straightened himself out and we all started talking and
that we just that was a really good way to meet guys. So I've
traded a few times. He didn't fall all the way down but he
had this big nod on his head. Okay, working like a child. You
can kill him before you date him.
Well, I'm here on the stage.
Yeah, that's why I'm here. Most of my, uh,
most of my dates end up dead.
On the second date, I stab him in the eyeball with a butter knife.
That gets a bone. Yeah.
That gets him going.
The three learn Bob had to choose from time for you to vote.
Make your choice.
I'm gonna say he goes with number two
he's young and
on the end on
and i think they probably have similar outlooks online but didn't he say
something in the beginning about he liked women to pay for a check or something
no he just said he didn't want them driving
it we're gonna take a break when we come back will meet the woman the bob selected and
we're going to take a break when we come back with me to woman the bob selected here everything that happened on their date
will be back to and to
and
i wish
i think it would be a great alternative to
the app stop
i totally agree with you and i don't understand quite frankly why they don't why they don't bring this this game show back
Well, you know that Fox tried to reinvent this game a couple of years ago with Andy Cohen
So yeah, so Andy Cohen did this version of the dating game
But and it was it was interesting
But I'm not sure it was the kind of interesting that were used to out of the out of the dint
I think in this day and age with all tenderinder and all that stuff it's like a it's it's not a novelty anymore the two people go on a blind date so who
fucking cares we normally want to watch people dating.
All right we're back Bob's gonna tell us who he picked.
Well I chose Alinda.
Haven't seen each other since it's eight.
Joe's number three.
We always hear both sides say I want to win the prize. I am done.
Thank you.
Bob says hi.
Makes Robert home back there and Bob will start us off.
Well, I called her, Linda, up, spoke to her sister.
Her sister was a little short with me, but a little short with her.
A little short?
She was a little rude, but I didn't even leave a message.
I called back and actually I left a message saying,
hey, this is their love connection date.
So she called me.
Did your sister form an impression about Bob? Wow, that was the least interesting, hey, this is our love connection date. So she calls her former impression about Bob.
I mean, wow, that was the least interesting story I've ever heard on love connection.
You just spent three minutes talking about a phone call.
Can you tell you I talked to this guy and boy, was he?
Yes, she formed an impression.
She called me up at work and said, Oh, Linda, you have been chosen by the biggest jerk
in history.
Oh, sister's on to something. She is that farmer in the middle of the, I feel so. Oh, a sister's on to something.
She is that farmer in the middle of the truck
of fine water.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
She felt really sorry for me, Chuck.
Oh, did you agree with that?
Well, the first time I spoke to him,
I already had this in my mind, and he
on the phone he said, hey, hope you don't have any hangups, you know,
get my drift.
I was like, doing all this stuff and I thought,
I just thought, oh my God.
So yes, I did have a really bad impression on the phone.
It was horrible.
That was really depressing.
Well, phone is not your strong suit.
We find that a lot.
So now what happened?
The suit's not in life is not his strong suit.
Well, I went over, we decided to go skydiving.
Go skydiving.
Right, right.
That's kind of a ballsy first day.
That really is.
Yeah, when the threat of death is imminent.
This is the same girl who's tripping people.
Get there and touch it.
Well, so maybe it is right.
Would you, I would never,
go diving out the first day.
Never.
I would go to scoy diving anymore.
Exactly.
Yeah, I know.
I did it a couple of times and I'll I'm done.
Yeah, no, I'm done too, but, uh,
beginning you easing two things.
Yeah, you don't.
You get to go.
Yeah, that's right.
Not like goes, you know,
I don't want life insurance on my blind date.
Yeah, meet me at the airport.
Meet me at the rickety plane with a hole in the back
where we get to jump out.
Well, these old parachutes, I packed myself, trust me.
I don't like women driving,
but you can pack my parachute.
It's trust exercise.
Just before, Alinda.
No, I never have at all.
So just a first date on a love connection.
Great, let's go scum.
I mean, that's kind of an, yeah.
Well now, when he came over,
I assume he came to your place, did he?
Did you, did you form a different impression?
Yes, I did.
I was.
Yeah, just.
Chuck's wearing an orange, a brown on orange,
like on orange.
It's brown on orange on orange suit.
And I'm not sure, because of color of line, but I feel like this is not it's not doing well for Chuck in general his hair is all greased back
This is a different kind of Chuck we haven't seen inside of me
I wonder if he had a wild night at the hotel with some of the contestants. Do you have anything Chuck gets with the contestants?
Probably I'm guessing yeah, probably he's Chuck Wollary. Yeah, he's dad. He's like he's like a dad figure
And you know some of these young people just they get with him.
Guys, girls, I bet Chuck's had it all.
I bet the 80s were wild for Chuck.
I bet the 80s were wild.
Like I'm gonna get some cocaine!
I was walking down the stairs and he had his back to me and then he turned around and
he described himself as, you know, in the worst way possibly because they turned around
and he looked great.
He had big blue eyes and he had smiling like a nice, normal, happy guy.
So I thought, okay, maybe this can work and I was looking forward to the skydiving, so my spirits went up.
What do you think of her when you saw her?
Oh, she looked great.
Pretty eyes, pretty hair.
We've been here in a parachute.
Oh.
That's so cool.
Pretty eyes, pretty hair.
She had a bus card, no driving here.
You're going so we drove on out to the desert. That's where they do the skydiving.
Yeah. And she, you know, the whole thing they do it over the ocean.
They can just give you a second chance.
Or overlay.
Oh, fuck.
They do it over the ocean.
Just give you a second chance. Yeah, Chuck, have do it over the ocean.
Just give you a second chance.
Chuck, have you ever taken a physics lesson?
That water is concrete, bro.
That's why, that's why when they tell you to prepare for an ocean landing,
if you're ever over the ocean on a plane, you're gonna die.
You get to the airport, I guess.
You don't get there
and jump right on the plane and jump out.
There's a lot of time where you just sit and do nothing.
So for like three hours.
Like you had a date.
Right, we had to have a pool out there.
So we actually sat around the pool.
And we sat around the pool and she took her shirt off.
And...
I knew it!
Wow.
Fuck yeah
Oh yeah the audience never thought that she has
People like jump out the window
I thought about a nipple
Uncovered breasts I thought about a nibble uncovered breasts. Quick, get some water, wash me off.
I just jeezed all over myself.
He suggested a boob.
And now you made it sound like she took her shirt off, and there's nothing underneath.
Come on.
She had like a little tie.
Yeah, she had kids under there.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
What a linda.
What?
Coco linda.
I had a top on a tank top and I had a sweater, a cardigan over it.
It was 110 degrees, so I was wearing shorts and I had this little tank top on it.
I took my cardigan off.
It was a little chalk.
It was a little chalk.
It was a little chalk and fairly covered her nipples.
It was like an Instagram, it was like Brian's Instagram feed.
You know they get around the nipples thing on my Instagram feed?
They put like a sheer piece of plastic that these girls do.
They put a sheer piece of plastic over their chest and they call it a covering.
It's unbelievable.
How hypocritical.
Fucking Facebook and Instagram are.
So you're sitting around the pool and...
And, uh, so not in personal eyes. I heard you cough back there Linda
He didn't mean you had a little top. He meant that the top was little
Well, Chuck
Open mouth insert balls
So she was sitting there in her back was to me because I was wandering around trying to
get into trouble.
I'm going to see her top.
And I saw she's getting into trouble.
What is happening?
Where are they?
I don't know.
They're at a pool in the middle of the desert.
But she didn't drive.
Oh my God.
That's guy.
She took the bus.
I think I can go to a skydiving.
It's been three hours.
Now she's topless. Now Chuck's obsessed with her small chest.
I don't get it.
And this guy says he's wondering what I'm trying to get in trouble.
I know.
What kind of trouble can you get into?
I would think falling out of the plane
is as much trouble as you want to get into.
There, and I walked over to and I put my hands on the back.
And I just felt or just melt.
I don't know when it was.
It was just incredible.
I had flipped her some eggs the earlier.
I gave her two roof and all,
and I just started massaging her.
She fell asleep right in the pool.
I actually had to pull her out,
but she was still breathing.
It was amazing, Chuck.
Luckily, I was driving.
Is this correct assessment of what may have happened to Linda?
I think that's that arrogant thing coming out again.
It was really nice.
It came behind me.
It gave me a little back massage.
But I think I was melting because it was 115 degrees.
Maybe a little back massage.
Really personal.
Personal to give a back massage on a blind date.
Just mad.
Yeah, I mean, but I've been on dates like first dates,
but I don't, I don't, I haven't been on any blind dates.
Yeah.
You know, my Tinder dates were complete train wrecks
and that's about as far as I've ever gone on a blind.
I mean, that's the thing.
Here, let me massage you.
Let me massage you.
Take your top off.
Take your top off, let me massage you.
You'll melt right into my arms.
I've got a penis.
It is kind of personal on a first day. You got to be
in the right situation. Yeah, it's not even at the end of the day. I know. The beginning.
You got to be drunk for that time. Yeah. Yeah. Then he started getting handsy. Yeah. On
ecstasy. Cocaine. Actually, the opposite of physicality happens on cocaine. Everybody
starts going, he shrank. So now let me ask you something, you guys are, you got a lot of time before you jump
in the airplane.
This is kind of like your father's spanking you and saying, oh, wait a few hours and think
about it.
You know what?
What the fuck?
Just happened, Chuck.
What the fuck, Chuck?
You're talking about our chest.
You can't get that idea.
It's near the pool.
Now your father's spanks are?
What?
What?
That was weird.
Jux Kinky.
Is he getting a little nervous about it?
Are you nervous?
Is it your first jump?
My first jump.
Also, both of you.
We were really nervous.
He was so nervous.
He was running all around the place, because he couldn't sit still.
And he was going into every building and trailer and jumping up and down.
That was the cocaine.
That's the cocaine talk.
We were both really nervous, but it was a fun sort of nervous, so it was good.
So now you get on the airplane.
What's the picture what this compound looks like?
I don't know where they are.
Are they at Manson's?
Oh, oh.
Manson's a ranch or something?
Where are they? Trailers and a pool and a plane. What's going on there? Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man there was no pool. There was no trailers, no cocaine. No one gave me a massage. I didn't see any tits. Then I know
them. You know, on the airplane, you go up to 12,000 feet and you just jump out. Just jump out.
Just jump out, man. That's what happens when you perish. You just jump out. That's what you do when
you parachute out of a plane. What did you expect? They were going to give you a ladder.
And it seems like there should be more to it. It's awesome. You're on the ground before you know
it. You're free fall for like 60 seconds and you're just it's just over. It's free fall for a whole
minute. Right. It's incredible. How much does this cost to do this? About 150 a person.
150 a person. A little more and we gave you, isn't it? So now, uh, my dad's got lots of money.
I'm making lots of money in the NFT market, Chuck.
Don't worry about it.
I got two more days.
My Bitcoin's at 70,000, man.
Are any romance going on here before or after the job?
Well, right before we jumped, I walked over to and I kissed her and I wish
you may have been in your last kiss and like so we had to do it.
I trusted my instructor then.
Yeah.
Well, instructor has nothing to do with the shoot open now.
You're absolutely after the jump everything's great.
You can't just jump on your own the first time.
That doesn't happen.
No, you have to do tandem.
Yeah, you got to do tandem.
The instructor has everything to do with whether or not you live because they have the parachute
on their back.
Yeah.
Did I tell you that story?
It's just maybe rogue, like back in the early wild west of, you know, side-eye mean.
Yeah, listen, accidents do happen.
As a matter of fact, here in Georgia, there was just, there have just been a couple over
the last couple of years where parachutes have failed and people have passed away.
It's still a very dangerous thing to do, activity to do.
When I went, they gave you a whole lesson.
Have you been?
No, I haven't.
I've been parasailing and that did involve the ocean.
Yeah.
And I would like to go hang gliding.
Oh man, I don't even know if I can do it.
Mainly because of my fear of heights.
I can fly a plane, but there's a plane around me.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm in some control of it.
But when we went skydiving,
they put you on the back of somebody.
Yes.
Okay, so when you first jump out of the plane,
they're attached to your back,
like their face is right on your shoulder.
If I'm six feet tall and he's six feet tall,
which I'm not six feet tall,
if he's six feet tall and I'm six feet tall,
we're basically standing together
because that's how you have to walk out of the airplane.
Then you free fall, you're still, you know, back to back.
Like he's literally, you know, you guys are attached.
But then when they pull the shoot
in order to see where he's going,
they have to drop you a little bit
so that they are, so they can control it.
But I didn't pay attention to that part of the training
because I was too busy throwing up
and having diarrhea from my nerves.
I was too busy shitting myself in order to pay attention
to all of the training, which I should have, right?
Because all they said was all you have to do
is remember a couple things.
You're not gonna die, make sure you breathe
because it is hard to breathe
when you're moving that fast through the air,
and they said, just yell, scream,
no one's going to hear you, right?
And I'm like, oh, that's comforting.
If I'm screaming, no one's going to hear me.
But then when they pull the shoot,
they unhook these two little buttons,
and you'd pre-fall for a split second.
For a split second, I'm talking like a millisecond.
You move a little bit faster,
and you move down about through a two-foot.
Wait, you're stomach drops.
Oh my god.
I took screaming to a whole nother level.
I sounded like a bored abiot club getting smacked.
Ah!
So scary as a millisecond of my life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you loved it, right?
But, is there any, is it get any more?
Well, we get down and we decide to have a few drinks and just kind of kind of get the nerves out of us
You know, we were shaken. It was like you're on five
All those nerves gonna get the poison out. I don't know if you know this chuck, but you've built some masturbate 21 times a month
You know strong drink so we're in we're inside and you know, we're drinking and it's still out of the jump site and
G's have a bar at the jump site. Yeah, what is going on? I want to go to this
How do you get there?
Maybe buy it. Yeah, trailers bar. If I had a pool with some cocaine and trailers I could run in and out of
Girls running around topless with some drinks. I would have
When it bothered me one bit.
That little drop.
You know, I lean over and I give her a kiss.
And I'll end up, she kisses me back.
You know, no hesitation whatsoever.
She just lean right into it.
And he is so proud of himself.
He is so fucking full of himself.
She's lean right into it, man.
No, I'm saying Chuck.
I don't think I got a huge
thick dick. So how did they end? Well, it was a long day, so I drove her up to her place
and, you know, she got out of the car and we kissed good night and I said, see you on the
show. You're a great guy. And I hope to see you again. Good. And that's about a great
thing. Wow. What a romantic way to wrap it up.
No, me all to sit down and talk over.
Yeah. No, that's not.
We don't want to get into formalities, Chrissy.
We just jumped out of a plane with your tits hanging out.
Get you.
We heard of it.
Second. Yeah. Let's get you a liquid up at the barn.
Where the planes take off for parachuting.
Real good thing. I thought you were going to get shot down in flames.
Bob, I swear I did.
You said, Christ, I'm happy for you.
I think we'll see the audience.
If I could pick Bob, the person I would pick
would be Bob for Bob.
Yes.
Are they chose a limber?
53% is a limber.
So you're gonna ask the outroll help Swaple Mr. Dicks.
Oh, Linda, how was your life to go out again?
I love to.
Come on out, Linda.
All right, that worked.
All right.
We've had the match tonight.
All right.
I love when a connection gets made.
That's one of the biggest douchebags I've ever seen on that show.
Totally.
And I've seen almost every episode.
There ever has been of the love connection.
Because I love it, and I grew up with up with it you know they used to play those
reruns in the 90s they would just play those shows over and over again do you
remember that like I don't know if it was TNT or TBS they used to have like
coffee in the afternoons or show or they was like some weird hybrid talk
talk program right and then they'd show
television shows in between it and love connection was constantly on that show
and so I'd watch that it'd be like yeah it's great to make fun of it is great to
make fun of and that's why it's low hanging fruit for the commercial break and
as we get into episode number 762 of the season. We thought we'd go for some blowing in first.
All right, well, we covered a whole bunch today, Chrissy.
I think that's all we can do.
And we haven't even made a dent in the lists that I have.
For 2022 of things to talk about,
we should go way back to the beginning of the year
and see what we were talking about back then.
All right, if you want to jump out of a plane with Chrissy and I, dial
us up 855, DCB 8383, 1, 855, DCB 8383, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas,
or your favorite episode, or clip from season number three, send it to us. You can text
us, or you can leave us a voicemail that's not a spam text message line,
Chrissy or I or someone closely related to the show,
promise to get back to you.
We will never spam your phone number.
It's an actual phone number, you just text it.
And that's it.
And it's toll free from around the world.
We'll pick up the charges whether you wanna call
or you wanna text.
TCBpodcast.com.
Did you see the new TCBpodcast.com?
Yes. We're working on a new new tcbpodcast.com?
Yes, I love it.
We're working on a new website.
It's so awesome.
I love it.
It's like the website is so much better than the show ever will be.
I feel like we're not in Poster Syndrome again.
We're so nervous.
We're going to try and catch up to it.
I know. We're going to.
Yeah, that's it.
That's right.
I'm going to set expectations high on the website and then we'll try and match them here on the show.
Season number four, coming the first week in February until then live episodes, best of
and clips.
And we have some special guests and stories.
Yes we do.
So you'll be excited to hear that if you're a fan of the show.
At the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited
episodes just a couple days after they air here on the RSS feed. Also break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes
just a couple days after they air here on the RSS feed.
Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today, I'm sure.
I love you.
I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say bye.
Bye. Until next time, Chris and I always say we do say and we must say bye!Sai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai you