The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Desi Lydic Covers Twitter Glitching Out for Elon’s Interview | Gabby Thomas

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Desi Lydic tackles Donald Trump’s glitchy interview with Elon Musk on X, in which a slurring Trump announced plans to close the Department of Education, played '90s pop culture trivia with Vladimir Putin, and revealed his new celebrity crush. On an Olympics edition of Sports War, Ronny Chieng and Michael Kosta recap the biggest stories from the 2024 Paris Games, including why Australian breaker Raygun is sure to be this year’s hottest Halloween costume. Also, three-time gold medalist Gabby Thomas joins Desi to discuss her big wins for Team USA, a moment she spent five years training for.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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for season 47th. Listen to On Fire, the officialor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is the Daily Show with your host, Des A. Lydon. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump manages to make Elon Musk seem normal.

Kamala Harris has a secret admirer, an Olympian gold medalist Gabby Thomas is here. So let's get right into it with another installment of Indecision 2024. Donald Trump is trying to reach out to undecided voters, but he also knows that sometimes you've got to work the base. Luckily, there's one place where all the far right mouth breathers come together. Twitter, or X if you're nasty. What could go wrong? Overnight, former President Trump holding a freewheeling, albeit glitch-filled conversation on X with its own or Elon Musk. Technical issues delaying it from the start for more than 40 minutes. Musk blaming a so-called denial of service attack, saying the massive

attack illustrates there's a lot of opposition to people just hearing what President Trump has to say, that we provided no evidence evidence to to the the evidence to to to the evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence evidence to to to to to to to to to the to the their to their their to their their to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to to tr. Over tr. Over tr. Over tr. Over tr. Over tr. Over tr. Over tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. their, their, their, their, th. th. theoooooooooo. true. true. true. true. true. true. their, their, their, the massive attack illustrates there's a lot of opposition to people just hearing what President Trump has to say, that we provided no evidence of such a cyber attack. I think it's pretty obvious at this point this is the Deep State. That's right. Only the Deep State could make Elon Musk's website suck. Just like they're to blame for making his cars look like a Delorian whose mom smoked during pregnancy. But if there's a Deep State trying to silence Donald Trump, you suck at your job, okay? Because he is the opposite of silent. There is no one more unsilent than Donald Trump right now.

Hey, Deep State, look at me. Look at me. Do better. Do better. But eventually they solved the technical issue and got the conversation going. Although it sounded like the glitch had moved from the Twitter servers directly to Trump's mouth. I want to close up Department of Education, move education back to the states. Where, where states like, where... move from the Twitter servers directly to Trump's mouth. I want to close up Department of Education, move education back to the states where states like Iowa,

where states like Idaho, you know, not every state will do great. What is happening in his mouth? I know the guy's big on slurs, but this is next level. And look, I know his speech was distracting, but did Sylvester Trump over here just say that he wants to close the Department of Education? Think this through Trump without schools. thiolv. to thin. The-Triven to thin. Think, thanks. The-Tripe-Tripe in his book from? Think, think, think? Thank. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi' thi' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that he wants to close the Department of Education? Think this through Trump without schools. Where are you going to ban books from? Think, think. It's weird he's even talking about sending teachers to the gulag because Trump has more popular policies. Like his proposal to end taxes on tips, which is so popular that Kamla Harris now says that she supports it and Trump is not happy about that. No tax on tips and all of a sudden she's making

a speech and said there will be no tax on tips. I said that months ago and then all of a sudden for politics she says you know she comes out with what I said. Look to be fair Kamla did t Trump's No Tax on Tips idea, which would make it the first time in history that a woman got credit for repeating a man's idea. We did it, girls. And she didn't stop there. Kamala also completely ripped off his idea to lead in the polls by three points against a rapidly deteriorating candidate. That was his thing.

That was his thing. Now, obviously Trump did his fair share of dragging Kamala during this interview, but there were also moments that he took it in a surprising direction. I saw a picture of her on Time magazine today. She looked like the most beautiful actress ever to live. It was a drawing. and actually a th a th actually a th actually a th actually a th actually a th actually a tha, and actually a tha, and actually a thu actually a thi, actually a thi, actually a thi, actually a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a.a.a.a.a. That's theea.a.a.a. That's theeatea.a. That's thi. That's thi. That's looks like the most beautiful actress ever to live. It was a drawing and actually she looked very much like a great first lady, Melania, but of course she's a beautiful woman so we'll live it at that. Ooh, someone has a crush?

Oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Who? Who? Where did this come from? Did he have a crush? Oh, Trump, where did this come from? Did he have a sex stream about Kamla that he just can't shake and now everything feels different? You can't focus on anything, he's just going through Time magazine looking for a centerfold? Like, either way, I think we finally found the one thing Trump is incapable of lying about. If he thinks someone is hot, he'll say, he'll thiiii's hot, he'll say, he's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, wo, that, that, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th.... th. th. th. th, th, th, ththink we finally found the one thing Trump is incapable of lying

about. If he thinks someone is hot, he'll say they're hot. He'll lie about winning an election, but he has deep respect for the sanctity of bangability. That's noble. That's a noble thing. But maybe my favorite part of the entire interview is when Donald Trump told the story of how he threatened Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine in the most 1990s way. I said to Vladimir Putin, I say don't do it.

You can't do it, Vladimir. You do it. It's going to be a bad day. You can not do it. And I told him things that what I do and he said no way and I said way. Where have I heard that high level diplomatic language before? No way. Where have I heard that high level diplomatic language before?

No way. No way. Yes, Wayne's world. It's like Wayne's world. It's like Wayne's world except the Whigs have gotten a lot worse. Now if we believe Donald Trump, and I always do, his conversation with Vladimir Putin went no way way and apparently he spoke to many other world leaders with the same linguistic

spirit. So Putin said no way and you said way. That's right and then he said but I want to invade Ukraine but I said Vladimir do not go in there. Woo! And he said all all righty then. And I said, hello, Newman. Voter fraud is worse than ever. They're taking ballots and they're making copies. Right. So then Shinzo Abe calls me, and I pick up and I say,

Wada, what's up! What's up? No, you're not saying it right. What's up. What's up? What's up? No, you're not saying it right. What's up? What's up? When I was president, the economy wasn't just booming. It was smoking. But then Joe Biden wrecked the economy.

And all you can say is, did I do that? Uh, yes, and he said, got any cheese? No, Erdogan asked me, who is this? And I go, my wife? No, Sadat-Tang. That's from Pudy-Tang. You ever see Pudy-Tang? But no, it didn't get to South Africa.

Oh, it holds up, man. Come over tomorrow back, we'll recap the Olympics that'll go away. Finding great candidates to hire. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner.

Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the, the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. t t tp. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip.ruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address.ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. Streaming soon on Paramount Plus. This is Dr. Frazier. I'm listening.

He's back again. Hey, Dad, I got a question about punctuation. Oh, no, stay on task. And he's more Frazier than ever. How do I look? Rich. Just what I was going before. Oh my God, they traded your baby for wine! Do you really think we would trade John for white Zinfandel?

Or any wine? Frazier. New season streaming September 19th on Paramount Plus. Welcome back to the show. The 2024 Olympics just ended with the traditional Tom Cruise jumping off a building. For a full recap of the only reason we watch the Olympics. What's up, idiots. I'm Roy Chang. And I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

So if I say I love beuettes, then I say, fuck you, chrassons for life. And if I say that the best French New Wave director is Goudard. Well, then I say, f-fooke you, true foes' movies were just as revolutionary, but more accessible to a wider audience. Shut the fuck up, you're the t 2024 Paris Olympics are over, you'll probably miss watching women's beach volleyball every day in your office. Learn how to knock, Ronnie, but another highlight was the utter dominance of USA Men's Basketball. LeBron James, Kevin Durant and Steph Curry teaming up in a thrilling gold medal game against

host country France, winning by 11 points. It's everything I imagine and more. We all signed up for this mission to continue the USA basketball dominance. That's right. Suck it, France. Pack your bags and go back to wherever it is that you came from. This just proves America is the best at the sports that we infant. Kassa, you're drooling, moron. America should be embarrassed that you only beat France by 11 points.

You basically lost. That score should have been 270 to 12. These players shouldn't even be allowed back in the country. Hey, LeBron James, you stay in France and you think about what you just did. Ronnie, I swear, putting you on TV feels like a make a wish. All right? Not only did Steph and LeBron dominate, but they found a way to make it entertaining against a weak opponent.

And believe me, it takes real skill to put on a great show even when you're out there with a smaller, inferior co-host. Costa, you're the Tyrese Halliburton of this team, okay? Only one percent of our audience even knows who you are. Well, you're like the Sen River, just filled with diarrhea, which to our Costa's big the the the the the the the to to the to to to the the the brings us to our Costa's big balls better than night. Which river will Ronnie Chang mysteriously drown in? As always brought to you by gambling. Remember you're not you when you're not gambling. Moving on to an unexpected Olympic showdown it was the return of the world's fastest man against the world's fastest virus.

It was supposed to be a golden moment for US sprinter Noah Liles. This is where he gets to shut his speed. But instead, the 27-year-old failed to take the lead in the 200-meter event, finishing with a bronze medal. He embraced fellow racers before he knelt to the ground, appearing to struggle for breath. After the race, Liles revealed he tested positive for COVID two days earlier, but decided to still compete. What an incredible accomplishment for Noah Liles and an incredible embarrassment for the people who trained every day for four years

and lost to a guy with fluid in his lungs. Y'all, why don't you just keep running off the track and right into traffic? Ronnie, like my negative COVID test this morning, you couldn't be more wrong. This was an absolute disaster for the whole world. He won an Olympic medal with COVID and ruined the last valid excuse we all had to miss work. Your shitty boss is going to be like, if no Liles can run 200 meters with COVID, then you've got to keep teaching these CPR classes. Which brings us to Ronnie's bigger ball's bed of the evening.

Which disease will Michael Costa get next? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. It will fix everything. Let's move on to the athlete from down under that everyone is talking about and sure to be this year's most popular Halloween costume. The Australian Breaker Ray Gunn went viral for her memorable routine. Rachel Gunn, the B-girl from Australia, failed to score a single point during her Olympics

competition going head-to-head with some of the world's best breakers during the sports Olympic debut. Her signature moves include the sprinkler and the kangaroo hop. Reagan actually has a PhD in breakdance and was Australia's only woman to qualify for the Olympics. Wow, thank you Australia. That was inspirational. Yeah. Yep. She's the Australian break dancing Jamaica bobsled team of the French Olympics. She was so bad, with so much confidence. Some experts are speculating that she had Ronnie Chang syndrome. I hope that Turkish guy shoots you in your stupid face, right? This was a terrible moment for the Olympics, for Australia, for descendants of criminals, for dancers, for kangaroos, for white people that want to be black.

It just shows you the pathetic level of talent in Australia. You fit in perfectly, Costa. Oh, fit in a country of tall, tan, hot people. When I say, good-die, mate. Finally, as we say to the Paris Olympics, let's take a look at the final medal count. Woo, look at that. 126 medals. The United States has clearly won the Olympics. The United States has clearly won the Olympics. Oh no.

What's that? Singapore's only won one medal? Hey Ronnie, where did you grow up again? Costa, you're a bigger dick than that French pole vaudeau's actual dick. Right? If you factor in population size, the US actually finished 59th in medals per capita. And by that metric, you know who performed almost 50 times better than the US? Grenada. Ronnie, you idiot, it's pronounced Canada. Learn the language. Bringing us to our freeball and college fund quadrupler bed of the evening.

Which country that Ronnie grew up in will embarrass themselves in the 2028 Olympics. Brought to you by gambling. It's not an addiction, if you win. All right, well we're out of time. Join us next time on sportswear. Well, we're going to debate if Simone Biles is so good, why isn't she taller? Oh, you're tall and you suck. What's the fool? I'm going to look like shit.

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invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter. that's Zip Recruiter.

S. the smartest way to hire. Streaming soon on Paramount Plus. This is Dr. Frazier Crane. I'm listening. He's back again. Hey, dad, I got a question about punctuation. Ooh. No, stay on task. And he's more Frazier than ever.

How do I look? Rich. Tell us what I was going to. I really think we would trade John for white Zinfandel, or any wine. Frazier, new season streaming September 19th on Paramount Plus. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest and I just returned from the Paris Olympics after winning three gold medals for Team USA. Please welcome, Gabby Tommet! Congratulations you must be over the moon good lord three gold medals one gold medals one gold in the 200 meters sprint another gold in the four by one.

Gold meailet another gold in the four by one hundred relay another gold in the four by four hundred, another gold in the 4 by 400 relay. I feel like I just ran a marathon just getting through all of your accolades. This is amazing, congratulations. Thank you. Honestly, very relieved to be back in America. I was overseas for about a month and just so grateful. I really am. This is years in the making. I've been training for this moment for five years.

And so to have it all turn out this way is truly incredible for me. Oh. Oh. Oh, the huge team rocks. We just saw you win the race. You were so far ahead, everyone else. Like what was the moment that you realized, oh my god, I'm going to win the gold?

So truthfully, I had been envisioning myself winning that race over and over again the entire time that I was in Paris. And so in my head, when I got into the starting blocks, I had already won the race. I believed that I was an Olympic champion. But the true moment that I realized I had won was coming off the curve. Anyone who watches my track career knows that I finished my races really strongly and the last hundred meters is my bread and butter. And so if I can come off the first hundred meters ahead, I kind of, I know I've won the race.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You essentially manifested this for yourself. Is there anything you can do about the upcoming election? No. Asking for a friend. One of my favorite moments in all of this was getting to see your mom's reaction

the moment that you won. Can you talk about how instrumental she's been throughout your journey? Oh my goodness, I can go on and on about my mom and her support so I grew up with them. Yeah, I know. Give it up for mom. I know. Give it up for mom. I mean my mom has believed in me since I've been born. I grew up with a single mom. I grew up with her and my twin brother, and she has done everything for us from, you know, she started as a waitress and then worked her way and now was a professor of an endowed chairman professorship at the University of Michigan.

And so I watched her. I watched her my entire life work really hard for something and to make her dream happen. And she's always instilled in me the importance of not only education, but going after your dreams and giving back to your community. And so she was the best role model that I could have ever imagined having. And she told me I will never forget when I was nine, maybe 10 years old, that I had a light in me, and that I was going to shine very brightly, and that it was my purpose to do so

and give it back to the world. And I will never forget that conversation, but just constantly having that type of a role model to look to to to to to to to to to to to to to, having that type of a role model to look up to, it got me to where I am. Training for the Olympics is clearly an enormous amount of physical training and exertion, but what about the mental aspect of it, all of the pressure of feeling like you have to perform in this moment, in this moment in time. How do you, do you have coping mechanisms that you deal with? Because I pretty much have a mental breakdown within the first four minutes of hot yoga.

How do you manage all of that? Oh gosh, yeah, a lot of people don't realize that our sport, half of it is mental. You can prepare physically every day and be so physically prepared. But if you're mentally not there, you just, you're not going to be great. You know, you can be good, but you can't be great. And I remember telling all of my loved ones before I competed at the Olympics.

I don't know how I could have prepared for this moment, because there is nothing like walking out into that stadium and seeing 80,000 people on top of you, millions of people watching at home. And in track and field, it's just you out there. You don't have a team to rely on. There are no do-overs, there's no next play. This is it and this is your moment. And if you don't do it in that moment, then it's over. And gosh for me, that was a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of meditation exercises. I did my visualizations of the race. I did all of my positive self-talk.

And I just have a healthy relationship with the sport and myself and the sport. So while I did believe that I could win the gold medal, I also knew that it was OK if I didn't. All I had to do was put my best self forward and be the best athlete. So I the th. So the I could be. So you're saying no bourbon. No bourbon. No bourbon. No burbon. Well, as though it's not enough to be a three-time gold medalist, medalist, you also graduated from Harvard with a Bachelor's in Neurobiology. You have a master's in public health.

You have a master's in public health. Do you use your neurobiology education and, and to have a master's in public health. Do you use your neurobiology education and to help inform the way that you train? I think so. So I think I actually had a bit of an advantage studying neurobiology when I was an undergrad because I grew to have a very deep understanding of how the brain could actually help you athletically and what was important. For example, recovery is huge in our sport. It is almost as important as the actual racing and the actual practicing. And understanding neuroplasticity and the neural pathways and how they change when you're doing certain things for your recovery was really important. Understanding how sleep was very important. If you're not getting enough sleep every day, how that can detrimentally affect your training,

how can it affect how you compete, and just really having that understanding for it. Understanding how going through training and the repetition, the muscle memory, all of that is integral to being successful in track and field. So actually understanding that and appreciating it, I think really helped me. It's different from your coach coach telling you, you know, go get eight hours of sleep, you really need it, but I really appreciated it.

Right. You, as though it's not enough, all that you do, you're endlessly impressive. You dedicate a lot of your time towards volunteer work with the health clinic in Texas, providing medical care for people who don't have health insurance. Why is this kind of work so important to you? Mainly because I believe everybody deserves equal access to health care. Thank you. Thank you.

Simply put, but when I was in school studying neurobiology, I started taking a few sociology courses as well to complement it. And I realized that there were a lot of things we don't learn about the health care system in our regular curriculum, and I was being exposed to it. And I drew a passion for studying and gaining a foundation in racial disparities in health care. And it just really struck me to my core, especially being a black woman in America. And now that I'm actually seeing it in real time in Austin at the volunteer health care clinic, there are just so many things that we can do better.

I mean, these are people who really don't have access to health care otherwise. I don't know where they return to. And we are people, it's a volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer, it's a volunteer-based clinic. So these are people who are dedicating time out of their day to give just primary primary care, preventive care, education, and it's it's unfathomable to me that these people would have nowhere else to turn to if this clinic didn't exist. And it's just so simple. It's a simple concept, right? We could increase funding for it and people can have access to health care so easily. And that's what we do with the clinic and it's really just near and dear to my heart

because everybody deserves that. It's so inspiring to do that. It's true. It's remarkable. I refuse to ask the question. What will you do next? Because for the love of God, you just won three gold medals. You should celebrate it and enjoy it.

So what I'm curious about is how are you celebrating this incredible moment? Well, I'm just really excited to go back home to Austin, Texas, to be honest and spend time with my puppy, too, get back into my morning routine of going to my local coffee shop, go see my friends and family and get to celebrate with them just in our home setting and then maybe plan a vacation after that, but I just can't wait to get back to my normal life. I'd say you were in a pretty nice vacation after all of this. Thank you so much. Jenny Thomas, everyone. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after that.

Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes, thrown. He's back, again. Hey, Dad, I got a question about punctuation. Oh! Oh!

No, to stay on task. soon on Paramount Plus. This is Dr. Frazier Crane. I'm listening. He's back again. Hey, dad, I got a question about punctuation. Ooh. No, stay on task. And he's more Frazier than ever. How do I look? Rich. Just what I was going for.

Oh my God, they traded your baby for wine. Do you really think streaming September 19th on Paramount Plus. That's our show for tonight. Now here it is. Your moment of that. The good news is Mr. Trump was on message, reminding people of his substantive, successful policies. In other words, full of insights, not insults. Good days work, wouldn't you say, folks? Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe

by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. Survivor 47 is here which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and survivor 46 runner-up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action Charlie I'm excited to do this together. Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait

to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to on fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast.