The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jon Stewart and the News Team Unpack the RNC | ICYMI

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

Jon Stewart, Jordan Klepper, and the Daily Show News Team analyze this week’s Republican National Convention, from Republican calls for unity and subsequent attacks on the Democrats’ agenda, to J.D. Vance’s VP reveal, to Donald Trump’s theatrical entrance and convention-capping speech.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. Welcome. Welcome! Welcome!

How are you guys everybody? How are you? How are you? Please, please. How is everybody doing? Wow. What a terrible fucking week. Hey, John, come back to the daily show just for the election. It'll be fun. You'll do one day a week. to be a week. Hey John, come back to the Daily Show just for the election.

It'll be fine. You'll do one day a week, it'll be a larf. What could go wrong? Yeah. Obviously, we were supposed to be doing our shows from Milwaukee for the RNC this week. But because of the attempt on the former president's life, our venue, the, the, the, the, the, f-f-fail, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the shows from Milwaukee for the RNC this week. But because of the attempt on the former president's life, our venue, the venue in which we had planned to do the shows, a theater, which was originally located in the soft perimeter, they called it, security-wise, was shifted, understandably so, to the hard perimeter.

They called it the hard perimeter. You really don't want to be in the hard perimeter. It was locked down. They built cages around the theater. And because of that, we felt that we could not logistically put on the theater shows effectively without people. But I do want to say to the city of the city of the theater shows effectively without people. But I do want to say to the city of Milwaukee, the mayor of Milwaukee could not have been more accommodating to the show, more gracious to us.

We thank you so much. I do hope that we will be able to come back to Milwaukee. We really do want to come back at some point and make up some of the events we had planned, especially our in-dog decision. We get dogs adopted and people registered to vote. Or, or it's the other way around. I don't really, I don't remember. But as a's the other way around. I don't really. I don't remember. But as always, the biggest slice of praise is reserved for our production team and crew.

They turned this ocean liner around. On a dime! On a dime! It is a big production to take a show like this on the road, on short notice, our crack production team and our crew, got us back to New York City, rejiggered all the things in the studio to get us ready to do a program this very Tuesday night. It's remarkable work, and I just want to thank the session. Remarkable. Remarkable.

All right. But, even though we are not in Milwaukee, last night one of the RNC, and obviously, after what happened this weekend, there was a clear theme going in. Obviously right now, unity is a theme that we need to be focused on. I think that we're going to hear a lot of unifying type speeches. We got to create some unity. The vitriol and the hatred, it needs to stop. We should bring the temperature down.

Let's turn this moment into a moment that helps us down that path of healing and unity. Wow. That is Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. He is known as a particularly divisive, divisive, or whoever you want to pronounce that, a divisive figure. to hear that healing rhetoric coming from Ron Johnson is impressive. I, for one, look forward to hearing his unifying remarks on the convention floor. Today's Democrat agenda, their policies are a clear and present danger to America. I'm sorry. I guess he's what's known as unity in the streets divisive in the sheets.

I'm sorry. I guess he's what's known as unity in the streets divisive in the sheets. But, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, and I want to be fair in this new environment, Senator Johnson did not mean to stoke anger. His teleprompter did. What he wanted loaded in the prompter was that we needed a somber moment in history. We should heed President Trump's call to unite to be strong, to be determined. We must heal. He said, I don't know how the other one got in there and screwed up the teleprompter, but

again, he went ahead and read it. What a douchb-bag! Sorry? I didn't mean to say that. That was in my teleprompter. I apologize. Rogue teleprompters weren't the only ones having trouble adjusting to the Republicans' new tone. One particularly fiery member of Congress struggled mightily as her body rejected the unity theme, as though it were transplanted like a monkey heart. The founding father of the America First Movement, Donald John Trump. Make America successful again. Wealthy again.

The country we deserve. She knows she's making that noise, right? Or is that the noise she makes when the interior monologue is going, Marjorie, there's going, Marjorie, there's going to be plenty of time to talk about satanic. Democrats, just keep it in. Marjorie, just, Mmm. I just, oh, this is, this is hard to do. Oh, man.

Man. But perhaps the weirdest moment of last night was when the RNC. the thiinc. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toen. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. M. toturning into the DNC. One of its featured speakers was Amber Rose, founder of the LA Slot Walk and a sex-positive pro-choice internet celebrity. Donald Trump and his supporters don't care if you're black, white, gay, or straight. It's all love. It's all love. You just better hope all that love

doesn't lead to an ec-topic pregnancy. Because that love doesn't lead to an ectopic pregnancy because that... Oh. I mean, the guys know what I'm talking about. They're feeling that in the old fallopian tubes over there. But the moment that really felt like the DNC had snuck into the RNC was when Sean O'Brien, the president of the Teamsters Union and apparently Rob Cordry Doppleganger, came up to the lectern.

Come on, Cadry! It's an honor to be the first Teamster in our 121 year history to address the Republican National Convention. The crowd went crazy until he began to tell them what he thinks. Legal protections that make it safer for workers to get a contract. Trade policies that put American workers first. Labor law must be reformed. Companies, fireworkers who try to join unions, and hide behind toothless laws that are meant to protect working people, but are manipulated to benefit corporations.

They're the cheers. Yes, apparently Republicans are pro-worker now and pro-union. I hope somebody tells all the Republican governors who passed right-to-work anti-union laws in their states and all the Republican-appointed judges who made it easier to break unions, and Donald Trump himself, who helped kill a bill that would have protected unions. And they're going to be so embarrassed. They're going to be so buckers. But of course the main event from last night was the crowning of Donald Trump's MAGA movement, air apparent.

No, not that guy. No, there you go. The other dark-haired bearded dude right in front of that one, J.D. Vance. I gotta tell you something, man, that ain't right. It's like for Vice President, Donald selected the actor who would be hired to play Don Jr. in the lifetime movie. It's not, it. It. It. It. It, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the the the the the the, the, they-in, the tho, the tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, who would be hired to play Don Jr. in the lifetime movie. It's not right! It's like Don Jr. was the beta version that had to have some kinks worked out.

He's the default avatar in the video game and that Donald Trump, senior, adjusted the pretty eyes and charisma sliders up a little bit. 66 intelligence. Mm-mm. of sliders up a little bit. 66 intelligence. And then it was time for Donald Trump's big entrance. The great Lee Greenwood did the honors with a rousing rendition of God bless the USA. Is there any doubt who's going to be the next president of the United States. Prayer works. This nation, based on faith, prayer works.

Because he was sure as Donald Trump turned his head just slightly that the bullet missed him, just enough. You know what, I'm sorry, Lee, we're going to have to skip a head just a little bit. None of the side patter if you could. The Great Lee Greenwood, introducing Donald Trump, here we go. We have believed for so long that God will make some changes in this country. And he's about to make a change in the current administration and send them home. Thank you everybody for being here.

Just fucking get to it! The man is wearing a time-release ear sav for God's thanks. Help for our veterans and God bless our military wherever they are in this United States. And abroad. There would be no words. There wasn't anyone President Trump. Please welcome the next president of the United States. Is it, is it possible to bring out another band to play a band off?

What about you? Oh, they cut him off. Is it, is it possible to bring out another band to play a band off? But then finally Donald Trump himself arrived, waving to his enduring crowd, and then went to sit down in what can only be described as some sort of chair trap. Oh, what's that? What, that?

What is that? What, that? What is that? A bean bag? What's that? I don't know. Oh, well, that's... What is that? A beanbag? What the hell? Meanwhile, back at the back cave, Joe Biden was sitting down with NBC news anchor Lester Holt to answer questions about what he would do to cool our nation's overheated rhetoric. Have you taken a step back and done a little soul searching on things that you may have said that could incite people who are not balanced.

How do you talk about the threat to democracy, which is real, when a president says things like he says, do you just not say anything because he may incite somebody? My opponent is engaged in that rhetoric. He talks about to be a bloodbath if he loses. Like when I remember the picture of Donald Trump when Nancy Pelosi's husband was hit with the hammer going, talking about, joking about it. This doesn't sound like you're turning down the heat, though. He's not turning down the heat. He's not telling you what the other guy had been saying. How you're supposed to discuss the temperature of the rhetoric if you're not allowed to mention the reddit Rick. It became clear that Biden was ready to turn it down.

For everybody but Lester Holt. Are you seeing what they saw, which was moments of, frankly, that appeared to be, you appeared to be confused. Lester, look, why don't you guys ever talk about the 18 to 28 lies he told? Where are you on this? Oh shit. Oh shit. Seriously, you won't answer the question, but why in the press talk about all the lies he told? Let me, let me ask you something, Lester. Let me ask you something. Let me, let me ask you something. Let me, let me ask you something. Let me, let me ask you something. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th. Where, where th. Where, where th. Where th. Where, where the, where the, where the, where th th th you. Where you, where you, where you, where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, where the, where the, where are the, where are the, where are the, where are the, where are the, where are the, where are you the, where are the, where th the press talk about all the lies he told? Let me ask you something, Lester.

Let me ask you something. Let me, let me, let me ask you this. Who's got two thumbs, Lester? And it's about to beat your ass. But of course this entire debate over rhetoric is happening because of the attempted assassination of Donald Trump over the weekend at a rally in Pennsylvania, which was obviously terrifying and disorienting. And I think I learned that in an emergency, when shit hits the fan in this country, the internet is a great source of information.

For instance, within minutes I found out that this is staged. And then I found out that it was actually an inside job. And then I found out that it was Joe Biden who ordered it. And then I found out that this guy is the shooter. Great job internet, you did it. Except it turns out that that guy is an Italian football commentator named Marco Violi. Who does, to be fair, look a little shooterie. But I can only assume was in Italy sipping aperal spritzes on the piazza

when he got a panicked call from his no-not. Marco! Marco! Why am Marco? Why am I Marco? And I have to say, and I mean this, and I'm not, I have a slight confession to make, and I am not proud of this in any way, shape or form. But I'm following social media during all this to find out who did it. Because it's this pattern I feel like we now have in the country when we hear about a horrific event.

You're on pins and needles in this sort of reverse demographic lottery. To make sure that the psychopathic shooter doesn't belong to one of your teams.. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You, you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you the the the th, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I I I I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I'm to to to to to to to thi to thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi, thi, to make sure that the psychopathic shooter doesn't belong to one of your teams. You know, you just sit there going, please, no Democrats, no liberals, no progressives. It's like that press-your-luck game. No Jewy, no Jewy, no Jewy, no Jewy. No Jewy! No Jewy! And we're all doing it.

We have to know what our posture will be on the tragedy. Will it be a haughty, I told you? Or perhaps a circumspect, well let's not rush to judgment. We shouldn't generalize. And then it ends up being someone we can't even figure out in the first place. A bullied loner white guy, registered Republican donated to a blue pack, argued conservative causes, is a dude, but if you flip his picture upside down, kind of looks like an old lady. I don't know what's going on with this guy.

It's a jump ball. We don't know yet. Who's got dibs? Who wins? And none of us knows what's going to happen next. Other than, there will be another tragedy in this country, self-inflicted by us, to us. And then we'll have this feeling again.

I remember it on 9-11. This disorienting, holy shit, stop the world. I would like to get off feeling. And in that moment, there will be some incredible Americans who, in the midst of it, for some some some some some some some some some some some thion th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thiiiiiii, and get thi, and get thi, and get thi, and get thi, and get thi, and get thi, and get thi, and thoomomom. toe, and, and toe, and toe, too, too, too, too, too, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, there will be some incredible Americans who, in the midst of it, for some unknown reason, rush towards it and get us back to some sort of equilibrium. And we'll count on those folks to hold us together again. And it does remind us that by a hair's breath, we dodged a catastrophe. But it was still a tragedy, because one of those first responders lost his life. His name was Corey Comparatore. He was a retired fire chief in the area. He had given his

life in service to his community and he died literally shielding his family. He's a reminder that in those moments of crisis there are helpers and we can all make a choice to try and be one of those people or you can be one of these guys. In the immediate aftermath of the shooting an article from Forbes thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. the. the. t. t can be one of these guys. In the immediate aftermath of the shooting, an article from Forbes titled Will Surviving Gunfire Be Donald Trump's next appeal to black voters? Not helping! Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast. The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.

What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Dear Lord, they're wrapping up the Republican National Convention as we speak. The excitement is palpable. Or is that soul-shaking fear? They feel eerily similar. And if that wasn't enough news to cover in a day,

there's another gigantic story brewing. Keep your news alerts on because the Democrats might be recasting a very big role. Breaking news about President Biden's candidacy. The New York Times sources close to President Biden say he's beginning to accept he might have to leave the race. Axio says he could drop out as soon as this weekend. It's reached almost a fever pitch.

Chuck Schumer, Hake Jeffries, Nancy Pelosi have all had very direct conversations with President Biden. His political fate more precarious than ever. An increasingly dire moment. His fate now hanging in the balance, nearing the point of no return. We are close to the end. Of his candidacy. To be clear, when you're talking about an 81 year old, you gotta be clear about that. Think about how strange this moment is. In the span of one week, one candidate got shot and the other guy might drop out. I mean,

years from now, children will be reading about this in history books. I mean, not in Florida. They won't have those, but everywhere else. And on top of that, all of that, Biden has COVID, which is no joke for a man of his age, especially because this is an unusual strain where the brain fog hits you three weeks ago. Now, for more insight on the quickly evolving state of Joe Biden's candidacy, we got full team coverage.

Let's first go out to D.C. with Michael Costa. Michael. Oh, Michael. Michael. What's the latest? Jordan, I'm here outside Chuck Schumer's office as he tries to push Biden out of the race........ th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. the th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi... the, the. the. the. the. the. the. th the.e. too. too.e. too. toe. too. too. toe.umer's office as he tries to push Biden out of the race, but it's a very difficult, delicate situation because don't forget he's the president, which means he holds all the keys.

The metaphorical keys to power, the reins of the political keys. The actual White House keys, you know, they're on one of those big key rings and he has a clip to his belt. There's a key for the Oval Office, a situation room. There's one key that just says room. We don't even know what that is. So they either have to convince Biden to give up the keys or wait for him to fall asleep and try to snake it off his belt with a broom handle. Is that really the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only thiueueueueueueueueueueueueueueue. th. th. th. th. Is thi. Is thiolate. Is th. Is th. Is thiqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq.. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. theyf. they. the. theatheaa. theat. theat. th. th.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. t. t. t. t. t. t really the only solution? Why can't they just get a locksmith and get new keys? I mean, I guess they could, but he's also the only one that knows the White House Amazon Password.

So what's the point of being president if you can't watch the new season of the boys? Am I right? Well, I mean, Joe Biden's an old man. His password is something like Joe Biden, one two, two three. Jordan this man is the commander in chief. I'm sure he has access to better pet. Oh my god that worked. That was it. We're in great shape. Thanks. Thank you, Michael. Let's go now. Let's go now live to Nancy Pelosi's office. Desi. Desi. Desi. We know Chuck Schumer is trying to be sensitive. What's Nancy Pelosi. Well, she's playing a lot more hardball, Jordan. She had a meeting with thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We're the. We're in the. We're in the. We're in the. We're in that. We're in th. We're in th. We're in th. We're in th. We're in th. We're in th. We're in th. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We. We. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in. We're in th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeea. We're in theea. We're in great. We're in great. We're in great. We're in great. We're in great. We're in the.trying to be sensitive. What's Nancy Pelosi doing? Well, she's playing a lot more hardball, Jordan. She had a meeting with Biden where she just stared at him while doing that five-finger knife thing. It's very intimidating. She's also trying to mess with this head. She threw a pair of sneakers over a power line outside the White House. Oh, is that a threat? Well, I don't know, but if there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's th. th. there's th. th. th. th. there's th. th. th. there's th. th. thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the th th the to. to. to. to. the the to. the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. ththat a threat? Well I don't know but if there's one thing that freaks out old white people it's sneakers on a power line. How they get up there is it a gang sign is it a drugs thing is it hip hop either way it's time to

move to Florida. Wow very fluid situation thank you Dzy let's go out to the Capitol Hill with Ronnie Chang. Ronnie, talks to me. Who are you talking to an opposing faction that is standing behind Joe Biden 100 percent. They're telling the president to ignore the haters, stay in the race and do as many public speaking events as possible? Wow. Which Democrats are telling them that? No, no, no, these are the Republicans.

They are gung-ho for Joe Biden, Jordan. This must be the unity thing that they're talking about. Okay, Ronnie Chang, everybody. Look, whether or not Biden's candidacy is live, and the reason we're live is that it's the last night of the Republican National Convention. And while most GOP conventions are about nominating a candidate and crashing the grinder servers, this one...

This one... This one... Look it up. This one seemed to have a higher purpose. This convention is happening, frankly, by the grace of God. It is a divine intervention by God that President Trump is not dead right now. This is divine intervention. The bullet pierced President Trump at 611 p.m.

Ephesian 611 tells us, put on the full armor of God, take your stand against the devil in a scheme. This was providence. God's divine providence. A millisecond before he fired the shot. A God-given tilt. A God-given tilt. If you didn't believe in miracles before Saturday, you better be believing right now. God, Lord, a shill of protection.

God has put an armor of protection over Donald Trump. God is not finished with him yet. I believe we all witnessed a miracle, literally. From, you know, before it happened, the flag above got blown in the wind and it got tied into literally what looked like an angel. Divine origami, that's what we're going with? I mean, you see an angel, I see the G-string from the cover of that Black Crows album, you know? You see what you want to see. I don't mean to nitpick God, but if God did save Trump from that bullet, he kind of procrastinated

to the last second, didn't he? He could have stopped the gunman at any point during the day, but instead he waited until the bullet was in the air and went, ah, shit, shit, shit, shit, ah! That was close. They gotta stop looking at my phone all the time, huh? All right? All right, fine, fine. Okay, every cult needs a leader who was chosen by God and has taken multiple wives. I get it, all right?

And plenty of people stepped up this week to sing his praises. Now one of the most fiery speeches was from Florida Congressman Matt Gates. Although that's an old picture of Matt Gates from a long time ago, like a whole week. Because when he came out to speak yesterday, he looked a little different. Under Trump, we prospered. We were richer. Inflation was low. And there were two genders. And introducing the third. Wow! Wow! It looks like his eyebrows are reacting to a picture of his eyebrows. You can see why they chose him to make the case against Joe Biden.

Inflation is so bad, his forehead is now a six-head. And I can make that joke because I've been battling inflation for years. But last night's big speech was from Donald Trump's new running mate, J.D. Vance, who wanted to introduce himself to the world. And this is what he went with. And while we're on the topic of grandparents, let me tell you another mammal story. My mammal died shortly before I left for Iraq in 2005. And when we went through her things, we found 19 loaded handguns. They were stashed all over her house. Under her

bed, in her closet, in the silverware drawer. This frail old woman made sure that no matter where she was, she was with an arm's length of whatever she needed to protect her family. That's who we fight for. That's American spirit. Yeah, that's the American spirit. Unhinged Paranoia. You know what? I love how gun nuts in this country are always like, we're responsible gun owners. Anyway, here's a Glock I taped under my baby's crib.

And let me just remind everyone that five days ago, their nominee was almost taken out by an assault rifle. And I thought that might lead to a moment of introspection. But you guys are like, you know what's hilarious? How guns are everywhere? But outside of his anecdotes about Grandma John Wick, the fact was that Discount Ulysses S. Grant did not exactly set the room on fire. But the good news for him was that the crowd was so amped, they were happy to chant no matter what. Oh HIO, OH, O H I, O, H, O, H, O, H, O.

Tee's tom, tomb! They tom, they are, today, tomorrow, they are, today, tomorrow. Wow. And... Yes, we are. Yes, we are. I've never seen a crowd so pumped that it started to engage in conversation.

Yes, we are! Let's order food! How about Thai? By the way, if you're wondering why the Ohio chance is O-H-I-O? It's because it's the only word people from Ohio can spell. Go blue, you Hillbilly, F. F.

But, but tonight was the final night of the RNC. It was the last chance to address the events of last Saturday. So, to heal a herding nation, the RNC brought in their most dignified voices to deliver their message with gravity and respect. What happened last week when they took a shot at my hero? And they tried to kill the next president of the United States. Enough was enough. And I said, let Trump-Amania run wild, brother. Whoa!

Thank you, the Healine has begun. He's going to make a great energy secretary. Now, you can laugh that one of the keynote speakers on the last night of the Republic Convention is a washed-up fake wrestler, but I'll tell you what, I think Trump just locked up the vote of every teenager in 1992. Okay, we heard a lot of talks. Now it's time to bring the nation together with a sober message of unity. Who's next? Everybody get a fished up in the air!

Now follow me! Say fight, bite, say fight, bite, say bite, bite, say bite, bite, say bite, butt. Watch that angle down, Jr. Watch that angle. Yeah, that's how you achieve unity by making our ears bleed together. Nothing riles me up like a 50-year-old man yelling at a bunch of 60-year-old men in suits to fight. Ooh, I'll be pounding the lip at to her tonight. Okay, but then it was a big event. Finally, it's time for Donald Trump to come out.

And in case you weren't sure who he was, they put his name in big bright lights like he was the world's most famous circuit elephant. That's right. Trump's going to be president of Broadway! And once the cheers died down and the speaking began, Trump made some big promises. Four months from now, we will have an incredible victory, and we will begin the four greatest years in the history of our country. Oh, I don't know. Best four years, what about 91 to 95?

Wu Tang, Nirvana, unironic fanny packs. Michael Jackson before it got too weird, you know? I'll put those four years against any in history. Now, all week we heard Trump was going to come out with a new message of unity. You know what? He delivered. As Americans, we are bound together by a single fate and a shared destiny. We rise together or we fall apart. I am running to be president for all of America, not half of America, because there is no victory

in winning for half of America, because there is no victory in winning for half of America. Which is why I'll be deporting the half that doesn't like me. Problem solved. You know what? You know what? No. I'm being a hater. This is a changed man up here. He's calling for an end to discord. Let's hear how we can bring about this unity together. If Democrats want to unify our country, they should drop these partisan witch hunts, which I have been going through for approximately eight years. And they should do that without

delay and allow an election to proceed that is worthy of our people. Oh, how convenient! So the key to unifying the country is absolving Donald Trump of his crimes. Anything else Democrats should do? America, just think about how united the country would be if Chuck Schumer punched himself in the dick. Think about it. Come together! But then Trump went on to tell the story of his near assassination on Saturday.

And for a moment, they started to feel like maybe this was a different Trump. Someone somber, reflective. But then he slipped in just a small nod to the Trump we've always known. They knew immediately it was a sniper, and then began pointing at him. You can see that if you look at the group behind me. That was just a small group compared to what was in front.

That's how you know Trump is going to get through this. Even in the middle of a story about almost being assassinated, he felt the need to reflectively brag about his crowd size. I suddenly realized how insignificant we are except my crowd size. Very significant. We're all just grains of sands on a beach. Although my crowd is more like a coastline, big crowd. But there was one other thing

that made me realize this is the same trump. In Wisconsin, we are spending over 250 million dollars here creating jobs and other economic development all over the place, so I hope you will remember this in November. And give us your vote. I am trying to buy your vote. I'll be honest about that. He's trying to do a quid pro quo in the middle of his convention speech. Slow down, my man. You don't get total immunity until after the election.

So that was Trump's speech. A changed man who is basically the same man as before. So what do we learn from the RNC? Well, the campaign for president is basically one big job interview. The convention is where America checks the candidates references. And to be sure, there were plenty of people willing to vouch for Donald Trump. You got ex-cons, domestic abusers, fake wrestlers, fake friends, his children, people sleeping with his children, and of course, the esteemed mayor of Whooville. But...

But... But... If this is a job interview, it's worth noting who we didn't see. Most of the people who actually worked with him in the White House. And if Americans are going to do our due diligence, we might as well call our references to hear what they have to say about him. Anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president. I think he's unfit for office.

Richard Nixon looks like a choir boy next to Donald Trump. The gravest threat to democracy that we've ever seen. He failed at being the president when we needed him to be that. Doesn't like to read, doesn't read briefing reports. Absence of leadership, really anti-leadership. We want to be dictator. We shouldn't be anywhere near the oval office. Nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions or constitution and the rule of law. The president has the understanding of a fifth or sixth grader. Rex Sillerson, saying this about the president, quote, he's an effing moron. Okay, you know what? He's a effing moron. Okay.

You know what? Good points. But did you see that flag? It looked like an angel. Explore more shows from the Daily Show from the Daily Show by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. Paramount Podcasts. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show.

We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio, on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.