The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Michael Kosta Calls Out Trump Avoiding Trial Testimony | Sebastian Junger
Episode Date: May 22, 2024Michael Kosta covers Trump not taking the stand during his hush money trial, Rudy Giuliani’s new "tummy friendly” ground coffee company, an Australian billionaire demanding her portrait be removed... from a museum, and Ronny Chieng defends Scarlett Johansson against ChatGPT nerds stealing her voice. Plus, meet Kamala Harris’s holistic thought advisor, Dahlia Rose Hibiscus (Desi Lydic), who is deeply committed to helping the Vice President translate words into idea voyages. And Sebastian Junger, author of "In My Time of Dying: How I Came Face-to-Face with the Idea of An Afterlife," joins Michael to discuss surviving an aneurysm and his new lease on life. He catalogs years of near-death experiences from surfing to war reporting, being faced with his dead father and the possibility of an afterlife. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show,
coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about
ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as
podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
You're listening to Comedy Central.
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only sorts for news.
This is the Daily Show with your host
Michael Costin. Welcome, welcome to the Daily Show.
I'm Michael Costa. We have so much to talk about tonight. Rudy Giuliani wants to be your
barista. Scarlet Johansson does not want to be your AI and we find out why Kamala Harris talks like that.
But first, some major developments from the Donald Trump trial,
so let's get right into it in another edition
of America's Most Tremendously Wanted.
Big news today, the Trump trial is coming to an end, and just like Stormy Daniel said, it was over much more quickly than expected.
And we've heard from so many people during this trial.
This blonde blob, this other blob, this one blob with the mustache.
You know, it's just too bad no one's invented cameras yet.
But we haven't heard
from the biggest blob of them all, Donald Trump, who has been going around telling anybody
who will listen that he is just itching to testify under oath.
I would have no problem testify. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm testifying. I tell the truth. I mean, all I can do is tell the truth. Do you plan to testify in court?
Probably so.
I would like to.
I mean, I think so.
Will you testify in your own defense?
Oh yes, absolutely.
You'll take to stand.
That I would do that. Yes. Right at the buzzer. Yeah. Yes. But yes.
But yes.
But yes, Donald Trump has been saying for months how much he wants to testify.
He's like, let's do it.
Swear me in on that shiny book that Mike Pence is always blah, blah, lying about.
And after four weeks of trial, today it was finally time for Trump to tell his side of the story.
So here we go, big guy. It's the opportunity you've been waiting for.
The defense has rested. Testimony has wrapped and Donald Trump notably did not take the stand.
What? What? What? After talking such a big game, he's not testifying. So he's doing the opposite
of what he told us he was going to do over and over again? That's not the Donald Trump
I know. And I played full contact hockey without a helmet this morning, but it's just so peculiar
that outside the courtroom with his legal pads of notes he just talks and talks. But then if you ask him to walk just a few feet in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite the opposite the opposite tooke opposite opposite tooke. tooke opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite. the opposite too. too too too tooes. So. So. the opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite opposite to. to. the opposite opposite to. the opposite to. the opposite to. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that outside the courtroom, with his legal pads of notes, he just talks
and talks and talks.
But then if you ask him to walk just a few feet inside the courtroom and to swear to tell
the truth under penalty of law, suddenly he's afraid to speak?
I mean, what's the difference?
Is it the fluorescent lighting? I mean, I hate to even come to this conclusion, but is it possible that Donald Trump is full
of shit?
I mean, Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump, are you just full of shit?
Yes.
Yes.
Well, I really wanted that.
Yeah, well, we should believe that.
Well, we should believe that.
Let's move on from Donald Trump to his morally and, well, we should believe him that. We should believe him.
Let's move on from Donald Trump to his morally and financially bankrupt, former lawyer,
Rudy Giuliani.
Last week, he had an 80th birthday party, and he got a little surprise present.
Rudy Giuliani was served with an indictment over the Arizona 2020 fake-elector scheme during his 80th birthday party late Friday.
Giuliani was served two hours after boasting on social media that he would evade charges.
God damn, I mean, served at his own birthday party.
Can you imagine?
Hey, can someone take a picture of me taunting the Arizona court?
Hey, how about you?
Man in a suit and a badge at my birthday party that I've never seen before and this indictment is on top of a 150 million dollar defamation judgment against him.
Rudy need cashy, all right? But luckily he's got a side hustle.
Today I'm thrilled to introduce you to something I'm incredibly proud of.
My own brand of organic specialty coffee Rudy coffee coffee believe me when I say it's the
best coffee you'll ever try it's smooth rich chocolatey and gentle on your stomach
wow gentle on my stomach and chocally I mean I'll have mine with malk and slugger
also cool apartment dude I mean your kitchen says
serial killer but the rest of your apartment says still serial killer. And look I'm glad
there's finally a coffee commercial that's somehow creepier than the Folger's one where
the brother and sister clearly want to bone each other. I just can't believe he's calling
it Rudy's coffee and not ground zero.
Let me keep going.
And in case you're wondering where this delicious-looking coffee is sourced from, I can assure you it comes
directly from Rudy himself.
I told you, you never heard a drip coffee?
By the way, why is it that you only see right-wing grifters hawking these cheap products?
Rudy's coffee, Alex Jones's supplements, Donald Trump's everything?
I mean, how can we don't see liberals getting grifted?
And I'll tell you why.
Because liberals are too smart to fall for this patronizing scams that are like this.
And as I explained in my new book, liberals are too smart to to to to to to to to to to to to thiiiiifts thifts thifts thiftiftiftiftiftiftiftiftiftiftifts the the this patronizing scams that are like this. And as I explained in my new book,
liberals are too smart to be scammed
available on my website for just $79.99.
Order now and shipping has doubled.
But look, it's important to remember
that Rudy wouldn't be doing any of this
if he wasn't so deep in debt from all his legal bills.
It's actually kind of heartbreaking.
But you can help for the price of ofe ofe ofe ofe ofe ofe the price ofe the price ofe the price ofe ofe the price of ofe the price of ofe ofe the price of ofe ofii can help, for the price of just one bag of coffee, you can get this poor, broke, election denier back on his feet.
Will you please help him smile again? Oh, gross, no, not like that. Forget it. Take that away. Take that away. Never mind, never mind.
All right, let's move on to a story out of Australia.
Australia, the country named after the 2008 Hugh Jackman film,
Australia.
It's where one billionaire is learning that money can't buy you respect.
An Australian billionaire is apparently not too happy with the portrait of herself that's
on public display.
That is Australia's richest woman, Gina Reinhardt.
She is one of 21 people featured in the Australia in color exhibit that's been on display
since March at the National Gallery of Australia.
It's reported Ryanhard is demanding that the gallery remove the portrait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, remove the portrait. What's the matter? You don't want people to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. theo. theo. theo. theo. theo. the. the, wait, remove the portrait. What's the matter? You don't want people to know you testified at Donald Trump's trial?
But anyway, what's the big deal with having an unflattering painting of you?
You don't see any of Picasso's models complaining that their eye is on their forehead.
Suck it up, lady. Even if you don't like it, don't whineing is, th, th, th, th, don't th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, the th, thin, thin, thin, to the to to their, to their, their, their, their, their, to to to to their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, too, too, too, too, te, te. tru. tro, trio, trialo, but of us do. Whining is free. You have money.
Just pay another artist to paint a flattering portrait of you.
Then buy the museum and hang your portrait over the other portrait.
Then burn the whole museum down for the insurance money and you end up making a profit,
billionaire shit, let's go.
But this story, yeah, I mean, use your head.
But this story is really the proof that maybe billionaires aren't as smart as we all think they are.
You know, if this woman hadn't complained about this painting, practically nobody would have ever seen it.
Hell, I never would have heard of Gina Reinhart, or Australia for that matter.
Animals with pockets, who that matter. Animals with pockets?
Who thinks of this stuff?
And finally, let's turn to a story about artificial intelligence.
Last week, Open AI released a new version of chat GPT that could talk.
And a lot of people heard it and thought, huh, this AI voice sounds a lot like
Scarlet Johansson.
And one of those people was Scarlet Johansson. This morning an AI warning from Hollywood. Actress Scarlet Johansson
saying this voice used by Open AI's virtual assistant Sky. Hello, I'm really
excited about teaming up with you. Sounds quote eerily similar to her own.
Hi. How you doing? The actress famously played an artificial intelligence system in the movie Her in 2013.
Johansson says Open AI CEO Sam Altman wanted to hire her to voice Sky,
but that she declined the offer due to personal reasons.
The actress telling NBC News, when she later heard the AI voice, she was shocked,
angered and in disbelief.
This is not acceptable. Open AI should be punished for attempting to steal Scarlet Johansson's voice.
In fact, from now on, they should have to use an off-putting voice,
like my uncle Dan, who's been smoking his whole life, you know?
You don't want to go to that restaurant.
That neighborhood's gotten real diverse, if you know what I mean.
I miss Vietnam. All right.
For more on the Scarlet Johansen controversy, we go live to San Francisco home of Open AI
headquarters with Ronnie Chang.
Ronnie.
Ronnie.
Ronnie.
How did Sam Altman think you get away with this?
How did Sam Altman think you get away with this?
Because he's a nerd. And nerds have too much power now.
Okay, look at Mark Zuckerberg, Jabezos, Elon Musk.
You can't trust these fucking nerds.
Okay.
I don't think that's an appropriate term.
What? Feeck or nerds?
Because what else do you call a bunch of weirdos to spend all day on computers and don't act around women?
I mean, I call them socially awkward, shy, introverted.
You call nerds.
The nerds, their fucking nerds, okay?
And nerds used to know their place.
Okay? They knew their rules.
Don't act weird. Don't make eye contact.
Don't bring up Star Trek.
Just keep your head down and get a job at NASA hosting a show on MSNBC,
okay? And it worked. Nature was in balance. But at some point we decided bullying was
mean because nerds had feelings. And then you start treating them with respect and that was a mistake.
All right. Ronnie, doesn't everyone deserve respect? I swear to God, Michael, you sound like a
fucking nerd right now. Don't you understand? I swear to God, Michael, you sound like a fucking nerd right now, okay?
Don't you understand? We gave them too much power.
And look what happened.
They took all out of financial system and now it's full of crypto.
We let them build a tech industry and now we're all mentally ill from social media.
We even shaped our pop culture to them and we've got 20 years of nothing but shitty superhero movies except for the Asian ones those are great. Okay, okay. All right, all right, all right, holy shit.
All right, so you're right. So then what do we do? The only solution is to make up for lost time, okay?
We have to find Sam Altman and give in 20 years worth of bullying all at once.
Okay. I'm talking two decades off of wedgies and one wedgie, okay?
I want that underwear to go around his head and then again over and over and over until
his ass can smell his face.
Okay.
All right, but what type of fabric would have the tensile strength to support the recrusive
force required to-wait to-W-waiting?
I don't know what I look like a fucking nerd? nerd okay get that science shit out of here. Wait, so let me be clear. So you're advocating bullying.
No, I'm advocating balance, okay?
Our ecosystem requires a proper mix of nerds and bullying
and it's out of whack right now, okay?
And I'm willing to be the hero that will get things back on track.
I don't, I don't know, Ronnie.
I don't know, Ronnie. Is bullying ever really the answer?
You shut the fuck up, okay?
Don't look me in the eye and give me your lunch money.
Okay, I'm right, you're right.
You're right. Rani Ching, everybody, sorry.
When we come back, when we come back, we find out why Kamala's secret weapon is, so don't go away.
I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry. Hey everybody, tho.
Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show.
It's going to be coming out every Thursday.
So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID.
Thank God it's Thursday.
We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way
that they obsess me.
The election.
Economics, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you
have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show
with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to a daily show. Vice President Kamala Harris has been out on the campaign trail,
which is very refreshing.
For a long time, it felt like the White House was hiding her.
Possibly because whenever she speaks, it's mostly an unintelligible word salad.
But it turns out, that's all on purpose.
Talking about the significance of the passage of time, right?
The significance of the passage of time. So when you think think think thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooooooo. toooooo. toooo. toe. too. too. too. too. too. too. the. thi of the passage of time. So when you
think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time.
Seems like maybe it's a small issue, it's a big issue. You need to get to go and
need to be able to get where you need to go to do the work and get home.
It is time for us to do what we have been doing and that time is every day.
Every day it is time for us to agree that...
She's come so far since our first session.
My name is Dahlia Rose Hibiscus and I am Vice President Kamla Harris's holistic thought advisor.
What is a holistic thought advisor?
It's holistic, yes, and I am advising.
And what do we mean when we say that?
It means that I am the one by whom the thoughts are being advised from a place of
advisement and then once advised communicated holistically.
Uh, what?
Mm-hmm.
You get it.
I lead the vice president on not so much sentences as idea voyages.
You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?
You exist in the context. Of all in which you live and what came before you.
It's a process I call speaking without thinking. It's not about the destination of
the thought. It's about the journey and how many words you use to describe the journey.
That's on top of everything else that we know and don't know yet based on what we've just been able to describe the journey. That's on top of everything else, that we know and don't know yet, based on what we've
just been able to see, and because we've seen it or not doesn't mean it hasn't happened.
Whenever the vice president gets a speech from her staff, the first thing I do is cut out
all the words individually, and then I take those words to my word cave.
That's where I wait to learn what order the universe wants them to be in.
Words have vibrations.
The feeling they give you is so much more powerful than what they mean.
We have the ability to see what can be, unburdened by what has been, and then to make the possible actually happen.
Happen. I hear the counter arguments all the time.
People should be able to understand what their leaders are saying when they talk.
But I prefer to leave comeless thoughts open to interpretation, like
a work of modern art that you look at and go, I wonder what that was all about.
See the moment in time in which we exist and are present, and to be able to
contextualize it, to understand where we exist in the history
and in the moment as it relates not only to the past but the future.
It really is.
Such a career highlight to be working with someone with such an advanced mind space as
the vice president. I also sell essential oils on Facebook marketplace.
And we come back, Sebastian Younger, if you're joining me on the show, if you don't go away. John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news.
My new podcast, The Weekly Show.
We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
Listen to Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an award-winning journalist, filmmaker, and best-selling author whose
latest book is called In My Time of Dying, How I Came Face to Face with the idea of an
afterlife.
Please welcome Sebastian Younger. All right.
I mean, amazing to hear all that.
I mean, amazing to hear all that.
You had a near-death experience.
Wow.
I mean, amazing to hear all that.
You had a near-death experience.
You had an aneurysm.
You bled out inside of your body.
Did you die?
I'm still working on that.
Okay.
I'm pretty sure I didn't.
But that's one of the great mysteries is how do we know we're here?
Well, let's talk about that. I mean, you're here. So I know that you're here. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you that you're th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th we're here? Well let's talk about that.
I mean you're here so I know that you're here but I guess it begs a question of belief,
of faith, of...
Well, I mean, this is the problem.
After I came back from the hospital, I lost 10 units of blood.
I came very, very close to dying. They barely saved me. And when I woke up in the ICU, I lost 10 units of blood. I came very, very close to dying.
They barely saved me.
And when I woke up in the ICU,
I didn't know that I'd almost died.
The nurse told me.
And when I came home, I was seized with this fear
that I had died.
Right.
And that this was all a hallucination.
And that it was because I was reading about near-death experiences and I thought maybe I maybe I did die and this is just and I asked
my wife I said just tell me I'm really here right. But clearly I was slowly
going crazy right but I said to my wife just tell me I'm here like I'm really
here that I actually survived and she said of course you are honey
and I thought that's exactly the kind of thing a hallucination. Right. Right.
Well, tell us what happened.
I mean, you start the book with this amazing scary story of you surfing and almost dying, which
I'm kind of reading this going, Sebastian, you're almost dying a lot.
But then tell us what happened with, you know,
you're talking about losing so much blood.
It was unrelated to surfing, obviously.
Yeah, I mean, when I was young, I surfed,
and I almost drowned in the winter, January on Cape Cod,
which was just stupid to be doing in the first place, right?
But then I was a war reporter for a long time. And I had very close called cased cased cased cosed. I was a to to to to to to to to call call, I was a to to to to to to to to to to to to toa toa toa toaugheorororororororororporeorororororororor and a tooanananananan, tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan of. I was a to s a toaa. Ia. I was a toa ss. Ia ss. Ia seaul. Iaeil. I was a toa seaull. I was a toaeilii, which is different from the experience of dying.
I mean, I had bullets hit close to my head, three inches away.
Is that a lot or a little with a bullet? I don't know.
Like, it was enough, right?
I've never ever had to ask myself that question.
And I don't want to. And then I stopped war reporting.
But then I stopped war reporting. I had a family, I had two little girls, I turned towards life, right?
I gave all that up, they were reporting.
And then one day, in mid-sentence, I felt this pain shoot through my abdomen.
And it was an aneurysm, a ballooning of one of my arteries, which is just a structural defect, right?
It ruptured. It had been, the aneurismm had been growing my entire life and it chose that moment, June 16th, four years ago, around 6 p.m. to rupture. And I was losing a unit
of blood every 10 or 15 minutes. And how much units of blood can we lose? You have about
10 or 12 units in you. Okay. Right. Which I did. Right. So, but we were. I'm not laughing. I'm laughing that so much of, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the the the the th. June June. June. June. June. June. June. June. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. June. June. June. June. June. June. June. June. June. June. June 16. June 16. June 16. June 16. June 16. June 16. June 16. June 16. th. June 16. June 16. th. June 16. June 16. th. th. June. th. June. June., but we were... I'm not laughing at you're dying. I'm laughing that that's so much of your... I mean it's insane. This
is wild. Yeah. And the problem was we lived an hour away from a hospital. Yeah. Right.
And I'm losing a unit every 10 or 15 minutes. You can do the math. I was basically a human hour glass. And when I got to the ER, the doctors, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's, thi. thi. thi. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was a thi. I was a thi. I was a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm toda. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I was thi when I got to the ER, the doctors immediately knew, oh, this guy's
dying, and suddenly I saw this doctor above me with this huge needle. And he said, do I have
permission to stick this into your jugular? And I was like, not really. I mean, can
I read the terms and condition? Yeah, exactly. Right. I had no idea I was dying.
And so I said to him, you mean in case there's an emergency.
He was like, this is the emergency right now.
Yeah.
And you talk about that in the book, and that actually gave me chills
to envision it from your perspective, looking up,, the noises, the faces, and to hear the doctors say,
this is the emergency. And I, yes, and so I said yes of course, so we started
putting it into working on my neck with an ultrasound probe and the needle and
while he was doing that, suddenly, and I have to stop here and say, I've been an
atheist my whole life, okay, my dad was a physicist. He was an atheist. I'm a rationalist. I'm not
mystic. In fact, I'm anti-mistic. I'm like anti-Woo. Just the works, right? So just to get
that like on paper. That being said, here comes some woo-woo. Yeah, that's right. So all of a
sudden, as he's working on my neck, I feel this immense black void appear underneath me at this black pit
and I'm getting pulled into it. I don't know I'm dying but I know I don't want
to go into the infinitely black pit. Like I have this sense that if you do
that you're not coming back, right? This sort of animal instinct and I started
panicking and as I panicked my dead father appeared above me and said,
communicated to me, it's okay, don't fight it, I'll take care of you, you can come with me.
And I was like, you're dead. I'm not going with you.
Dad, we have nothing to talk about, right?
We'll talk later, a lot later. And I said to the doctor, you've got to talk about, right? Like, we'll talk later, a lot later.
And I said to the doctor, you got to hurry.
That's such a son thing to say, you know?
Oh, I didn't fucking ask you to come over here.
Total authority complex.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
And I said to the doctor, you got to hurry, you're losing me right now, I'm going. Yeah. And that's the last thing I remembered for a while.
So the believer in me wants to think your dad, who you talk about in this book, maybe wasn't
always there for you emotionally, was this very rational person, was maybe...
Spectrum.
Spectrum, okay, was crossing over to be there for you emotionally in this difficult time.
The skeptic in me thinks you've lost all your blood and you're going
mad.
Is that, are you there too?
I mean, I'm very sympathetic to both ways of thinking.
So this is what happened.
They saved my life.
I went home five days later.
There's such an unbelievable description of the doctors.
And I had just, I've already had respect for trauma doctors,
but what they know about the human body,
what they're able to do with, in matters of seconds,
to save people's lives, is tremendous.
It's incredible.
So they save me with a catheter, right?
And so what they do is they put a catheter into your femoral artery
at your groin and they can thread it up through your vascular and wiggle it around and
get to almost anywhere in your body, right? This was discovered by a guy named Forsman,
a German physician a long time ago. You talk about it in here. Yeah, he couldn't get permission to do this on a patient so he did it to himself. Yeah. Threaded the way into his heart, then he walked down the hall to the x-ray room
and asked the technician to take a photograph of his chest
to prove he'd been in his own heart with a catheter.
Right, right?
That was-
Imagine how good the kids will be today.
Oh, yeah, took them so long to do this, that I was lying on this sort
of square plate where it admits x-rays basically, right?
And I was on this thing for so long that when I got home, I had this square burn mark
on my back from the plate. I had radiation burns on my back in this perfect square
square. Of course, my wife didn't like that much, neither did I, and then I tried to make it better by saying, we can just call it Square Noble.
It didn't work.
It didn't work.
Which is why you're a journalist and I'm a comedian.
Let's talk about having this experience, touching death.
Let's tell you're life.
I mean, does it give this experience, touching death, how is it affected your life?
Does it give this more meaning?
Should we all get close to death so we appreciate this tiny moment we have?
Are these all the things you're grappling with?
No, no, don't do that.
There are shortcuts.
Yeah, I mean, psychedelics, ayahuasca. So, um, um, um, that. There are shortcuts. Psychedelics, Iowaska.
Yeah, right.
So my eyes, I mean, I'm still an atheist,
but what I do, I'm gonna ask you that.
Yeah, I'm still an atheist.
I don't believe in God.
But my mind was sort of open to the possibility that there is a some kind of post-death reality, maybe at the quantum level, and I'm sort of reaching into my father's field of physics,
maybe at the quantum level,
that we just don't understand how this all works.
Like I say in my book, we might understand reality,
like a dog understands a television screen.
Like, there's no concept of the greater reality
that's producing the image that the dog sees that we see. So God and an afterlife are separate things.
They don't need each other.
You can have a God and know afterlife and know God, either or both.
So I'm still an atheist.
But what I would say is that the greatest,
and I say this in my book,
I don't go to church, but I believe that the greatest worship
of what some people call God's creation, which is
the world and life, and what atheists just call creation, the greatest worship of that
is being fully engaged in your life, in all, in the moments of your life, in all of its
emotional reality.
If you, none of us know that this isn't our last day.
No one in this room, no one on this earth knows this isn't their last day.
So who do you want to be on your last day?
Be that person on every day.
It's amazing to me that you, you survived an IED attack in Afghanistan.
You're a war reporter, but you were back home on a normal day is when you kind of came to this realization. Well that's thu one th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. No th. th. No one one the no one the. the. No one one thean. thoanannenenenene of thoannenenene of thoonnn. thoonene of you thone of you the. No you kind of came to this realization.
Well, that's why I got so crazy after it, right?
So I'd go to war zones and I had a deal with myself.
Like, okay, you're rolling the dice, you're going to do this to get that,
and you know, whatever.
It was a deal that I made and I had a few close calls.
And then I stopped doing that after my friend and my friend and my friend and my friend and my friend and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend that tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my friend tham and my pickup truck in Libya. I'm not okay I'm out right and I turned towards life I had a
family's an amazing family two little girls and I thought I was safe right
and what a helpful illusion right and then one beautiful June afternoon
turns out the front lines can come to you it's like owing the mafia money right you can get a cabin in the woods. They will find you find you. their they they they they they they they their. they they they they their they they they their they their they they their they their they their their they their their th. th. to find to find to find to find to find th. I their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. right. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I their their their their their their their their th. I their their th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi. I te. I'm try. I'm try. I'm te. tow tow to tow to to to to to towards. I'm towards. I to to t front lines can come to you. It's like owing the mafia money. Right, you can get a cabin in the woods. They will find you for their money, right?
They will track you down and that's what that's what it felt like. What will
you do on the anniversary of this moment or do you just kind of speed past it you
don't need to honor it because June's coming up? Is there something you'll do? You know it's a day, it's a thoughtful day,
you know, and there's a number of days during the year where people very close to me have
died like Tim, they're thoughtful days. And you know, mortality is terrifying, but if you don't
let it be terrifying, it could make life miraculous. And you can kind of choose, and if you're not sufficiently terrified, life isn't going to be sufficiently miraculous and vice versa. And so that to me is how one
lives one's life. Quickly talk about some strangers that you didn't know help save your
life by something we all can do every day, which is provide blood. Yeah. So 10, I needed 10 units of blood.
I lost 2 thirds of my blood, right?
I was 60 over 40 when I hit the ER.
And 10 anonymous donors gave a unit of blood that saved my life.
Right? So now I give blood as much as I can.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't even take an hour.
And there are very few opportunities where you can be part of something greater than yourself
in this modern society.
The chance doesn't come up very much.
It only comes up in three contexts.
You need to vote.
Right?
You need to serve jury duty.
Yeah.
And you need to give blood.
If you don't do those three things, you're an awesome human being. I would say one more. You have to buy... Okay.
You have to buy Rudy Giuliani's coffee.
Thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. I very much appreciate it.
In my time of dying is available to Sebastian Younger.
We'll make a quick break.
We'll be right back after this.
today.
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Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
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Now here it is, your moment of zep.
It's not President Biden, who's not sharp.
It's in fact Donald Trump.
Now let's look at public reporting.
I'm only going to talk about public reporting.
His criminal trial started on April 15th.
And here's a summary of the press reports.
On his first day of his trial,
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I think he's praying.
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Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how
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