The Daily Show: Ears Edition - RNC Throwbacks: Small Town Values, Absent Diversity and Bristol Palin’s Right to Choose

Episode Date: July 27, 2024

The Best F**kin' News Team's best f**kin' moments at the RNC over the years, from learning about small-town values, to seeking out any Black or Latino people, to finding out the last year America was great. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire. And this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey there, this is Desi Leidic. While the Daily Show is off this week, we put together some special highlights just for you. We'll be back next week but in the

meantime, enjoy this episode. Donald Trump has assembled a wide range of supporters at the RNC, and some of the most vocal, evangelicals. Yes, he's a casino owner who's had three different wives, but the conservative Christians know a devout man when they see one. Go! Trump! He represents the godly people of the United States of America. Do you think he's always acted like a good Christian?

Absolutely. Yeah. How can you build that kind of empire if you're not, praying to God for good things every day? He is the man for this time in history and God will use him. And I don't know that he's going to even be aware of how God is going to use him. You don't think he even knows what his relationship with God is? Absolutely, I think that. They seem convinced, but I was still struggling to see how this man reflected the teachings

of the good book. What do you think about the idea of loving thy neighbor? You don't want somebody living next door to you that's going to sneak over and murder you in your sleep. Who's going to do that? Muslims? But then I saw a man who could convince even the most skeptical of the depth of Trump's faith. We are elected a man in Donald Trump who believes in the name of Jesus Christ? Pastor Mark Byrds.

Shout Amen! That's the guy I needed to talk to. The man who gave the benediction on the opening night of the RNC. I believe Donald Trump without question loves God. He believes in the one true God. He believes Jesus Christ is his Lord and Savior. He believes that marriage is between one man and Savior. He believes that marriage is between one man and one woman. He believes that... Wait.

What? What? He believes marriage is between one man and one woman. Who does? Donald Trump believes one marriage between one man and one woman. He also believes... Until a younger woman comes along? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's not... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's, that's, that's, that's... Trump thinks marriage between one man and one Czech, one Slovenian, and one American, right? So, your point is, this one man, one woman thing, I ran the numbers, they don't check out. Okay, so he stumbled a few times on his path towards righteousness. But surely, he embodies the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most thions thions thions thions thions thions thiolies thiolies the most thi. But surely, he embodies the most basic Christian ideal of helping those in need. Jesus said, blessed are the poor, for they will inherit the kingdom of heaven. He did, right?

Donald Trump said, I've watched politicians bragging about how poor they are. How poor their parents and grandparents were, and I said to myself, if they can stay so poor for so many generations, how, th and th and thons. Donald Trump is not the pastor of the United States of America. He's accepted Jesus Christ as the Savior. Is he a seminarian student? Can he exudite the scriptures? I don't think so. You know who has run a Bible study? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with Hillary Clinton. Yes. Runs a Bible study.

She did when she was First Lady of Arkansas. Well, you know, I can't speak to Hillary Clinton's relationship with God. I know she's really good at pandering out the black churches, singing whatever Amazing Grace songs she can come up with for that moment. Do you think Donald Trump knows the words to Amazing Grace? Sure again, as I think it'd be more like tremendous grace. How fantastic the sound. Could save a pretty good guy like me. I once was lost, although you know what, I was never lost? I was born with an impeccable sense of direction.

When it comes to Trump's views on the poor and marriage, Christians are willing to to turn the other cheek. In attitude they extend to all God's children. Well, almost all. I think that when Hillary Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton thiiiiiiii cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl that when that when that when that when that when that when that when thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, to to to to to thi, to say to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I the, I the, I the, the, the. I theate. I theate. I theate. I toooooooooooooo. I to to th all God's children. Well, almost all. I think that when Hillary Clinton calls Donald Trump a person that does disrespects women for a woman herself to allow her husband to disrespect her, I think that's horrible. You're holding that to Hillary? What we show is what we receive. So what's worse? Hillary allowing Bill to cheat or Donald Trump cheating? Well, I want to be clear. I said Hillary something that was allowed you don't want to do anything.

Bill is his own man. But you're connecting his actions to Hillary. But because he is Hillary Clinton's husband. But you're not connecting Donald Trump's actions to Hillary? Well, because he is Hillary Clinton's husband. But you're not connecting Donald Trump's actions to Donald Trump. I believe Donald Trump, just like any of us, when we fall, we fall to their sin. I see. Christians love to forgive, and Donald Trump allows them to practice forgiveness in truly biblical proportions.

Amen. When was America last great? For me, I would say the turning point for our country was 1913 when we passed the 17th Amendment. So like back when women couldn't vote? Yeah, well, back up again. Like that would say, that's got a your sweet spot right there. Absolutely, but 1913.

What year was America great? When it was founded. Except for the slavery stuff. Except for the slavery stuff, you know. I think we were probably our strongest immediately, post-war two. So around the 1950s? Yeah, mid-40s, 50s. I mean I think the 50s was great other than you know segregation and women's rights.

Look we could we could sit here and paint negative faces of all times in America. Correct. It's Make America great again. So when was the last great? It's always been great. So we're so if it's always been great what are we trying to go back to? We're not going back, we're going forward. Well I guess the 80s were pretty good. All right, the 80s. The 80s, great music, great crack cocaine? Yeah. Well we're always great. The people are great. So, yeah, so America is great right. So we did it. No, we didn't do it. America became great when the founding fathers put pen on paper in 1776 and decided to build a country based on laws. That was greatness.

That was awesome. Other than the slavery, obviously, that was terrible. We did have that. And the Indian thing, right? That was terrible. But other than that, that was, the s the slavery, the sl that, the sla, the sla, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, tha, thaquphaqa, tha, tha, thoomomoma, thoomomoma, thoomomomom. When, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thii. Wea, tha, tha, tha, than, than, than, the women's voting thing. But other than that, that was awesome. A few hiccups along the way, you know. Like they say, nobody made it to the top without breaking a few pieces of China. That wasn't an insult, by the Republicans have touted their broader appeal with youth outreach groups, a woman up pavilion, and they even courted minorities by letting the Puerto Rican sit up front.

So we went to check out the new GOP, but there was just one problem. Have you seen any Latinos? No. Excuse me? Excuse me. Have you seen any black people? Um, that a way. Okay. Are you Latino? Damn it. Damn it.

Excuse me, have you seen any black people? Okay, so this was harder than we thought. But just when we were about to give up, there was finally a sign. Nacho cheese, and it's still warm. They're close. Are you Republican? It's just a thi. It's? No, it? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi-a sign. Nacho cheese and it's still warm. They're close. Are you Republican? It's just a gig, man. Well, we were getting closer. What's your name and are you Latino? My name is Luis Alvarado. I am Latino. Yes! Finally they appeared. Now let's just take 10 seconds and we're going to look around and we're going to count how many black people that we see around us aside from ourselves.

They cannot be janitors and they cannot work here. Okay? Are you ready? Let's go. Sure. Let's go. I got two right behind you. Oh and they're very light so they may they may or not very live. One of them's got freckles. Can I check

your papers? I mean Republicans are right this feels good. And just how were they making inroads with such diverse groups look no further than their youth outreach campaign, headed up by their super rad leader. Yo, what's up, Daily Show Nerds? This is Miss J. Willie here with my man, Picon, president of Generation Opportunity. Peacon, how's it hanging in? All right, so you are the face of generation opportunity.

I'm the president of it. You. So how old are you exactly? I'm 48 years old. 48? Yeah. But I had a ban when I was in high school. What year was that?

the threat? No, I got you beat. It was 1984. Minorities check, youth check, but the real prize was the ladies. So the Republicans invited them via Twitter to the Woman Up pavilion to engage in the issues most important to them, free hair and makeup. We are two women and we are here to Woman Up. The women embraced our presence and welcomed us into their reception room. Until...

This is a close president, I'm sorry. Oh, we're two women and we're here to woman up. Awesome. Woman up. Spontaneous women. And I got this tweet that says that we get to get free touch-ups on our hair. Yeah. Is that still on?

Ladies, down a shooter and grab your kuder. It's time to whip it up. So. You guys, stop out. Sure. Did you want to trans-vagantly ultrasound me just to make sure that I'm qualified? Because those are pretty good credentials. I'm a woman. Do you get to go? While the GOP had made some strides, there was one place right next door where everyone was always welcome.

Thank you so much for providing us with a safe space. Of course y'all are welcome here anytime. As we've learned this week, unlike Democrats, Republicans are patriotic, honest and decent. And there's a simple reason why. Small Town America continues to be the moral grounding of this country. Small town with small town values. We grow good people in our small towns. So we sent the best news team. Oh wait, hold on a second. So we sent the most respectful and wholesome news team.to find out what small town values

really means. I am from a small town, so I can tell you exactly what that means. That's what I'd like you to do. It's real people, real values, common sense. Can you be more generic? Small town values means traditional marriage. It means, uh, uh, uh, uh, help me out here. I can't. Oh, you can't, huh?

Small town values. Um, I would say fishing. And, uh... Church? You know, God. Which church? Uh, Christian church. So the other one's just... No, no, no.

I mean, Jewish church, Christian church. And it's what happens in those Christian and Jewish churches that forms the bedrock of any small town. Marriage is between a man and a woman that is a small time value. A husband and a wife. A man and a woman. Small town values are common sense values. Conservatives believe in things that make sense.

Could you have nothing against homosexuals? Gays have all the rights that they want. All they got to do is marry is is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to their their their their their marriage their marriage their marriage their marriage their marriage a thoom. their marriage thoom. thoom. thia. thia. thiou. A thiages. A thiages. A th. A marriage th. A thiages. A thiages. A thiages. A thiages. A thiages. A thiages. A thia. A th. A th. A their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to their their their the. A the. the. the. the. theoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. A the. A the. A the rights that they want. All they gotta do is marry a person of the opposite sex. Oh, okay. So as long as gays don't be gay, they've got all the rights they want. You shouldn't have special rights just because of the type of sex you have. What, where's that in the Constitution? It ain't?

That's right. These folks know there's nothing more What, where's that in the Constitution? It ain't. That's right. Yeah! Chook! These folks know there's nothing more important than to bond between a man and a woman. The delegates are very respectful and they're great tipers and they treat us very nice and we're happy to have them here. I like you, man. I like you a lot.

All right, thanks, man. Give me a kiss. On the cheek, on the cheek. Yeah. I have that film. It was nice. Admit it, it was nice. Can you do that on cable TV?

Of course I can't. I can't. I can't do a lot in the barn, 1950s America. I hear you there. What do you do for a living, pal? I'm a lobbyist. Oh, and just like the 50s, everybody knows everybody and you're welcome anywhere you go. Just like I remember, a backyard cookout at the Republican finance committee

reception. Rob Wrigel, hello, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I I I I I I's, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thu, and thi, and the, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and thi, hello? The youngest of the Riggle boys from the Stewart Place? He can't come in. Hello. Hello. Hey, neighbor? Hey, how's it's neighbor? Not too bad, neighbor. Let's keep going.

Let's keep going. You're going to have to leave. What? Hey, it's me. It's a invitation. It's a the the the the the invitation. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a the the invitation. It's a nice. It's a the the the the the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a. It's. It's. the. the invitation. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.'s grandson. It's in the racial thing, is it? Goodbye. Goodbye. Spend just a few minutes here, and you know what small town values are all about. And nobody put it better than Regina.

What we talk about, that's political on our kitchen breakfast table. It's a nook. It's a nook. Okay. It's a nuk. Okay. It's, it's a th. It's, it's, okay. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the th. It's a the th. It's a the the th. It's a the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the racial. the racial. the racial. It's the racial. It's the racial. It's the racial thin. It's the racial. the racial. thii. thi. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. the. th Regina. What we talk about that's political on our kitchen breakfast table, it's a nook. It's a nook, okay, is that America is awesome. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me, the election. Economics, earnings calls.

What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Last night, Sarah Palin took the stage and silenced her critics. This woman is qualified. Tell me about her qualifications.

One, she's a beautiful lady. She hunts and fishes and is not afraid to get her hands dirty. She's only that far from Russia, from those eyes of Putin. One of the things that I really respect about Sarah Palin is that she makes Americans feel like anyone can be president. But there's one issue for which she's still being unfairly attacked. It's very inappropriate that the Democrats have seized on the issue of Bristol's pregnancy. That is a personal, that is very personal, and I don't think that she should be attacked

for that. I think it's a family issue. Politics should stay out of people's business. Do what's right. You know, she's going to have the baby, she's going to get married. She said no, it's a human being. She made the... I'm sorry, what is... The decision? The decision. There's another word I'm looking for.

It rhymes with... I think it rhymes with voice. Every family and every woman should have the right to... I'm sorry, what's the word I'm looking for? It's her family. It's her... Oh, God, what is the word? What is the word I'm looking for? It's like an alternative, or if you have two things. You be Sarah Palin and I'll be her 17-year-old daughter. Bristol, you know, you and I have always been able to openly discuss things. What do you want to talk to me about? I'm too busy around my mom. Can you get out of my room?

It's like when you have a lot of options, you have to select one. What's the word I'm looking for? What is the word? Adoption is one. No, there's a specific word I'm looking for. I'm sure the family will be able to make the best decision for them. But they'll have the freedom to make that decision.

that decision. Hold on a second, I'm talking about a boyfriend. Can I carry it back? My mom is in my room. She wants to talk to me about something. Hold on, I pay you back. Well yes, but I don't think that the, I don't think that the decision, I think it should be not, I think that the family, I think it should be, not, I think that the family decision would become as how, yes, okay. Oh my God, I totally hurt you. What are you bothering me? Oh, you literally do this? It's, you know, when you have like an alternative, what's the word I'm looking for?

Alternative? A different choice? Choice, yes, exactly. Every family, every person should have the choice to decide what's best for them. You know, the left, um, clamors for choice. We want choice. We want choice. And Sarah Palin's daughter has made for choice. We want to make choice. We want choice.

And Sarah Palin's daughter has made a choice. Freedom of choice? That's different than being pro-choice. She's able to make the choice that she doesn't really want other people to have, right? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? We've heard a lot this week about Mitt Romney's number one qualification for president. Mitt Romney turned businesses around in the private sector. He's made a success of failing companies.

America needs a turnaround and the man for the job is Governor Mitt Romney. And why is that? I think government needs to run more like a business. These aren't easy conversations to have, but if it's not working, you've got to end it. It's got to go. If a branch of blimpies is failing, they don't reward it, they shut that shit down. Exactly. Always letting the market decide would be the best thing to do.

Oh, okay. You are costing the federal government $20 billion. That is, you know what, I think we're gonna have to let the market decide. And if that's the case, we need to take a hard look at which divisions of AmeriCorps are succeeding and which are failing. Because what was that Delaware? If it's not working, you gotta end it. It's gotta go. Exactly, so let's do this.

Let's talk about the bottom line. South Carolina is taking way more in government funding than it's paying back in tax. Wow, that's not good, is it? No, you're in the red. So what do we do? We cut government expenses, maybe. Why don't we blame? Oh, so you're blaming the boss? Huh? One operating division audited, 49 anxious states to go. You're nervous, Todd?

A little bit. It's kind of hot, though. Yeah, because I see you're sweating. Yeah. You're anticipating bad news in this conversation? Uh, no, not really. Well, you're about to get some. Wisconsin is failing. You are taking in more than you're giving back. That's what they say. No, that's what I'm telling you. I'm looking at your numbers here, they're middling. I know you're Wyoming, no one really expects anything of you.

What do you think? Yeah. Would you like a gatory, a towel or something? No, I'm fine. It seems like your whole face is crying. These conversations are never easy, okay, it can be painful. We've decided to let Georgia go. Suddenly, when actually faced with the numbers, running America like a business didn't seem like a good idea after all, and it was every state for themselves.

You're really in the red and we can't support you. No, no, no, Iowa has a budget that shows in the black. Sir, why don't you talk to California? Iowa is talking so much crap about you right now. About my state? Yes. Who are we getting rid of? I'd go in Maine.

All right. How do you think this year went? Well, I don't think it went too well. No, no shit didn't go too well. Oh, Maine is terrible. You are taking in more than you're giving back. I don't see anything wrong with that to help us get moving forward. Explain to me if we're running a business here, why we're keeping you around. Let me talk, can I talk about these hats right now?

AmeriCorp is clearly struggling. It was time to CEO up. All right, you three are here because you are the worst three f-states in the union. So we're going to have a little contest, okay? First prize, you get to keep your job. Second prize. Anyone I want to see second prize? Second prize? Oak Ridge Boy Cd. Third prize is your fucking fire. You, Minnesota, what the hell should I keep you? We have a land of 10,000 lakes. Fck you, go home a water ski. Wyoming, what do you got?

These population in the union, wide open spaces. Yeah, who gives it shit, go fly a kite? Mississippi, you think this is funny? Yes. You see this watch is worth more than your entire FDixtate. We know what hard work is, and we're good at it. Then we grow cotton, and we are the most hospitable people that you'll ever want to meet. I gotta be honest. Her state's a piece of shit. She is outselling you too f-bosk.

Take your CD. Get the fuck out, you're fired. Prepare yourself America, America, because Romney always be closing. The Republicans are experts at managing their image. Questioners at campaign events are carefully vetted. Mr. President, I don't have a question. I have three thank you. Thank you. And the press is either shut out or seduced. That was the strategy at the convention. There the GOP set up a lavish free spa just for journalists. Some reporters might be co-opted but not Ed Helms and Samantha B. Oh that's good. We wouldn't be distracted from our mission by cheap bribes.

We were here at the convention to get all up in the GOP's collective grill. Let's talk about the Warnrack. Who do you think God wants to win? Oh wow. Hi, excuse me, I was hoping you could wear our hat for the convention. I have a feeling that you're going to get a tremendous amount of airtime. Thank you. Who do you like better?

Brooks are done. Wow. Um, I'm into Brooks. George Bush's vice president, Dick Cheney, voted in support of segregation when he was a senator in Wyoming. Does that give you pause as an African-American Republican Republican. Well, I think I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th thi I thi I thi I thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who thi. Who tho. Who tho. Who do tho tho thi. Who do the. Who do the. Who do tho. Who do tho. Who. Who. Who. Who tho. Who tho. Who tho. Who tho. Who tho. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who the. Who theeeeeee. Who theeeeeeee. Who do theeee. Who do thee. Who do the. Who the. Who in Wyoming. Does that give you pause as an African-American Republican? Well, I think it's important for people of color. I'm totally kidding. Some people say that it's a conflict of interest

that Fox News Channel is producing this convention. What are your thoughts on that? I think Fox News is absolutely awesome. I have a feeling you're going to be all over the TV tonight. Would you wear this hat for us? This is such a country of opportunity and although all of us have little glips in our lives, I mean... Is tonight the night that they exploit 9-11 or is tonight inspired empty promises for the future? I have you had a hot carol since you've been here?

I have not. I just, you know, it's so much to do. I haven't gotten to do everything yet. But I will. I'll be here in what, what, five days? Mm-hmm. Just get in a taxi and say, take me to where I can get a hot carl and you will be in for something that you never expected. We will look forward to that. Four more years! Four more years! We're going to have a little time during the next few days and we plan to tour your beautiful city. Have you had your picture taken with a black person yet?

Well, I don't think so, but I wouldn't mind doing it. That's something you'd be willing to try? Why certainly. There's plenty of them. I know. Do you have any of them in Montana? We don't, you know? We don't have any. In fact, I guess our kids were pretty old before they saw one. You know what?

We were wrong about the Republicans. Turns out they could handle a tough toup...a the the the toun, the the the toun, their their toun, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tough question after all. A lot of people are upset about the situation in Iraq. It's devolved into this kind of quagmire. Nobody knows how we're going to get out of it. Wow, that's your opinion, but thank you. My question for you is, where the f-focts? Where the dail show, where the dail show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the the the the the the the the the the the the their.., and the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Paramount Podcasts. Survivor 47 is here which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and survivor 46 runner up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action Charlie I'm excited to do this together. Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to on fire the official survivor a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th, wherever you get your podcast.