The F Plus - 315: A Representative Sample Of Fetlife
Episode Date: December 11, 2019Over six years ago, Montrith gave us a Fetlife document. So thanks, Montrith. This week, The F Plus is really into Snugglefuxxx. ...
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The cock ring of flamboyant faggotry!
The potion of ass-to-mouth resuscitation.
The decanter of endless enemas.
That's a cursed item for sure.
Iron rations of compulsive coprophilia.
Spanky pants!
Lord Gaspington's noose of autoerotic
expectation
was this guy playing fatal
Oh no, it's the F Plus podcast?
That's terrible things right with enthusiasm.
At least we've got Boots Reingear.
Hey y'all, just wondering what the longest ass-licking session for you was, non-stop. The longest for me was three hours.
Adam Bozarth!
There is a technique in polarity
therapy using the anus
to reset the entire nervous
system.
Portax! I'll huff, and I'll puff,
and I'll blow you, because apparently
that's what every wolf does on this website.
Hey, it's
cheapskate! Warning! Any university
and all other institutions using this site or its associated sites for projects,
you do not have permission for me to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum, both current and future.
And Lemon.
Hey, check out my new pics of me being a fat, dumb slut.
The old ones were less fat, dumb slut.
Sorry about that.
Apologize.
Hey, we can't always bring our A-game.
Here come the wolves.
She is a wild pony.
She is a wild horse.
Together they will race to stem the tide
Into the hidden caverns
Into the sunken hills
Unplug the world and follow us inside
Hey, F+.
Hi.
Hello.
Hey, do you all feel, like, emotionally secure in your own sexuality?
Yeah.
Was this a trick question?
Are you coming on to me?
I'm flattered, but...
How secure are you?
Are you disc-secure? you are you this dick secure um well that's the good this sounds like it sounds like you are uh
you are uh healthy and happy and sexually fulfilled people um and so you probably want to meet others who are the same correct yes please oh yes definitely that's what i would love to have as as conversations
uh about about these things yeah yeah absolutely i'd love to be cornered at a party where somebody
talks about their corset collection uh so it is uh it is
currently um uh as we're recording this uh it is september 21 or september 21th
september 21 121 yeah 21 can uh september 21st uh 2019 And our first episode of the podcast is now
basically a year at the time
you're listening to us. October 1st was our first
ever F Plus podcast.
Yeah, sorry.
I had a stroke and I still haven't recovered.
You mean our 1th
podcast was 10 years from
the time.
And we still haven't got the hang of it listen what i was trying to tell you
all was that uh i want to uh look at a real fresh uh a fresh document that's just been that's just
been really tearing up the charts in the hopper from april 29th of 2013 chronologically our 97th newest
document um and so aging like a fine wine yeah yeah so this is something we've had sitting down
there uh in that slot for a long time the reason reason for that is that sometimes we kind of look at
stuff and go like, well, we're not going to read that or that's too
similar to other things we've read or whatever.
We've chucked this and every time
we've gone back to this and we've been like, well,
that's actually pretty funny.
But now's the time. Now's the time for
us to look at this document provided to us by
Montreth and it is called
A Representative Sample of FetLife.
Circa April 29, 2013. A great Montreth and it is called A Representative Sample of Fet Life. Circa April 29, 2013.
A great Montreth vintage.
We don't know how society has changed since then.
The interesting thing
is how few of these things
are actually going to change.
So that's fun.
We have had no new developments
in fetish technology in the last six years.
We have grown no new developments in fetish technology in the last six years. We have grown stagnant.
So let's start things off here with the Juggalo.
So, Portex, your name is Murda Is My Fantasy.
You are a 33-year-old switch.
You're married, female, bisexual, and you're looking for kind of everything.
But tell me about yourself, please.
Murder is my fantasy.
So I'm in a few groups.
I'm kind of the social butterfly.
Oh, good.
Okay, cool.
Are they fun groups?
Good groups?
Yeah, you know.
You know, FetLife announcements, kinky clowns, kinky juggalos and lads, lesbian sex mafia,
New York City BBWs, the curvy women, New York City FFM threesomes, New York City stoners,
real vampires, vampires, and vampire slash gothic slash dark.
I remember seeing lesbian sex mafia on the pulp librarian feed.
So tell me about yourself, won't you?
Murder is my fantasy.
I will.
Whoa.
Just as soon as the browser opens back up.
Oh, are you sure?
Because it's going to be FetLife once it does.
Last chance to bail out. I'm going to browse some pics. Oh, those are the? Because it's going to be FetLife once it does. Last chance to bail out.
I'm going to browse some pics. Oh, those are the pics that I expected.
I'm licking this knife. Oh, yeah.
I think we're going to want to read this from the document.
I'm not sure how much of this content is going to be exactly the same on the page.
Oh, this is a chef knife and I'm licking it.
All right, here we go.
It's actually the same. She hasn't aged.
Murder is my
fantasy 27f switch about me what's really good winky face the name's wicked 25 bi female into
blood sex and my geek winky face i think the whole world should be bi slash pansexual to me the
attraction to another person has nothing to do with sex or
race, only the vibe that I feel from
them. Whoop whoop.
Although I do tend to be more
attracted to
females, I definitely
switch it up to dominate
with females, switch it up,
sometimes dominate, sometimes submit with
males. Yeah, I'm what you call
juggle it down for life and holding
my hatchet high as fuck.
I spell fuck with
three K's. Good job. Yeah, that's always
pleasant and not at all
off-putting.
She said she didn't care about
race. Come on.
Always dying to
sink my fangs into a new victim not rely trying to talk to guys unless
it's some friend's shit because i am married but defiantly down to get to know some crazy ass
females that would like to tag team a cowboy with me and let me fuck him up, little little demon winky face.
Get at me. She wants to tag
team a cowboy, not a ninja. I would think
you would want to tag team a ninja.
No.
No.
That's not what that says.
No, no, no, no.
That's not what that says.
So my turn-ons.
Blood vampirism
foursomes! Yay!
Watching
females getting fucked.
My turn-ons are blood vampirism foursomes.
Watching females getting fucked
XD.
Exotic females with fat
asses and thick thighs.
Love jugalettes, tattoos, piercings, and rough sex.
I'm a straight kinky bitch.
Mmm, happy.
Love trying new shit, but definitely a lady in the sheets and a freak in the sheets.
Oh, wait, no stories.
She did say stories.
I thought perhaps she had spelled it wrong for some reason.
Yeah.
Hey, Murder Is My Fantasy, would you like to take the ultimate sex survey quiz?
Oh, I would, I would, actually.
What's your name?
Wicked!
Are you a virgin?
The bow!
What's your favorite position there, Murder Is My Fantasy?
Oh god, this is long. Hang on.
Yep, it sure is.
Your favorite position? Oh, this is long. Hang on. Yep, it sure is. Your favorite position?
Oh, there we go.
Yes, of course.
The famous face down as up with a pussy in my face.
Oh yes, classic.
Do you like kissing during sex?
Yeah, boy.
Hey, do you moan who already know i do i guess why did i do um uh could you live without sex hell's not i'm the nympho lol hey what's
what's your biggest turn on
what is my biggest
turn on let's see
of course threesomes
blood rough shit
have you ever used toys during
sex
um
hmm where was the last place you had sex?
Cemetery and car and telly same night long.
She fucked on top of the television.
I think she fucked telly from Sesame Street in a car in a cemetery.
That makes sense.
I bet Telly's fucking down.
What is the longest you've gone without sex?
One were when ex-hobby did a bit in prison.
Okay, Pete.
All right. All right.
All right.
Do you like sex?
You think?
You think?
You think?
Cool.
Thanks a lot, Murder Is My Fantasy.
No problem.
I'm going to go with blood clown sex over here.
You guys go do your thing.
We're going to move on to
Fowlmore, who's a
20M
primal.
He's
in the intervening years has changed his name to
Fowl Daddy.
Fowl Daddy.
Fowl Daddy.
A primal predator. But anyway, Adam, tell me about yourself, won't you?
About me?
I'm a daddy slash wolf.
Rough sex, pet play, and primal play.
Biting and scratching.
I'm into more and willing to try new things
I am Fowlmore
Alpha of
Foolgator
Bloodmoon
Pack
Here's my tumbler
I am an alpha
but I call myself Omega
The End
Alright, next I call myself Omega, the end.
Alright.
Next. I can be your leader,
your beginning, but I'll know I'll be your end.
Oh, good!
Yay! I will kill you!
My name is
Dustin. I'm 20 years old.
I live in Indiana, Indianapolis,
and Buncee. I'm
6'3", 285 pounds.
I work out a lot.
I'm the city version of a cowboy slash outlaw.
That's called a bad dresser.
The real cowboy.
Oh.
An actual cowboy.
This is an actual cowboy outlaw.
Like a cowboy from Moo Mesa kind of situation? Or an actual cowboy who is a cowboy? He follows the code of outlaw. Like a cowboy from Moo Mesa kind of situation?
Or an actual cowboy who is a cowboy
who is also a wolf?
I like
to get down and dirty
and let instincts take over. I don't mind
scratching and biting. I'm into many sports
from martial arts and wrestling
to hunting and fishing.
Drink sex?
Yes. I'm looking for someone to further
develop with.
His profile has a bunch of pictures
of Care Bears.
That makes sense.
Just like a cowboy.
I'm an artist
specializing in many mediums, a
songwriter slash poet, and sometimes
a writer. I'm a geek
somewhere underneath my tough exterior
and hidden in the fur.
I co-run a pro
Xbox Live clan.
NSAW. Native American
Spirit Warriors. Oh no!
Oh no!
Because I can see your picture
and no. What?
No. What?
No. I'm gonna
look him up. Oh, that's, yeah.
He's not Native American. I can tell
that fucking much. Oh, daddy.
He is under a full moon.
Good. I'm gonna go,
yeah, let's talk about,
I want to talk more about your fake
person. My name
is Fowlmore, Alpha Wolf of Fogelok, Blood Moon Pack.
I reside in Indiana.
I'm 6'4".
I can bench...
He's changed it a little bit now.
He's taller now.
I can bench press 285 pounds and leg press 2,000 pounds.
Shit.
Shit.
My bloodline is half
Irish, Gaelic, and half Native American
Blackfoot tribe. I'm
pagan.
I follow the teachings of my Native
American ancestors, which means I treat
the earth as my home.
All animals are brethren
and should be respected.
I also follow my Celtic heritage
as well. I respect all religions
and do not believe in forcing a person's belief
onto one another.
I can control my own.
So you're strictly pagan
other than the Native American and Celtic shit, right?
Yeah, and I can control my own
and other people's chakra energies.
Oh, fuck.
And this is used for sexual, therapeutic,
and healing purposes. I meditate
on a regular basis to build up
my strength.
Cool, cool. Tell me about your primal nature,
won't you please? I am wolf
in nature.
Gaelic, Native American, pagan...
Wolf. Wolf.
It is more than just my spirit
animal, it is my very nature.
I act upon wolf characteristics, including growling, biting, scratching, howling,
a strong sense of smell, can hear pitches most people cannot,
and have sharpened, protruding canines.
And I'm also a huge liar.
Which wolves are you up for?
I also have a more playful side.
A combination of a wolf pup and a tiger.
This is not something seen often.
Only certain people can see this side of me.
These people are called liars.
What lucky people.
I'm usually alpha wolf.
This shit online where it's just like
only a few people know about my
inner
new age nature. It's like you're telling
everybody.
If I met you in real life, literally
the first thing you would say to me is, I'm a wolf!
Just throw that out there.
You would show me. I'm also a tiger.
I'm also a tiger.
I think you're wearing a t-shirt that is
Three wolf, two tiger, one Cherokee
One Irishman moon
I also have a more aggressive side
Which is my dragon
Oh yay
I am fierce
So yeah, so I was just scrolling
Through your music that you like
And they're what you would expect
You know, Linkin Park and Disturbed and whatnot.
But I just found out about a band called
Terror Error,
which is T,
terror spelled with a three, and then
error spelled with a three.
Terror Error. Anyway,
so I'm going to contact you. Adam Lambert?
Yeah, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
Yeah, it's the same aesthetic.
He's kind of spooky.
It takes a very long time to scroll through his list
of fetishes. So, what I was going to say,
so I want to contact you,
Tiger
Fowl Daddy. Can I contact you?
Is there any sort of, like, warnings or anything
about contacting you?
Do not contact mine
with any rude, vulgar, or
sexual messages.
What? On FetLife?
And no messaging of a male
without asking me first.
Respect the pods of Tom
Sub. If you fail to
do so, you will bring the consequences on yourself.
Oh, believe me, this is Alpha Wolf Daddy will bring swift justice with my fangs.
Me and the rest of the direct pack are going to kick your ass.
So, Fowl Daddy, I just want to know, do you have, if you'll scroll just a tiny, tiny bit more, do you have any fetishes at all?
Are there any?
Do you have just one or two fetishes, maybe one or two?
Nope.
Okay.
How about alpha wolf domination, sex in the kitchen, a little fight in you i like that that
was in a quote uh also in a quote a towel won't cut it get a tarp also to quote back oh there's
also these are a lot of quotes that he's he's into these quotes specifically can i keep you? Come for me, princess.
Do you like being my dirty little bitch?
Wait, no, that's, I'm sorry, I read that wrong.
Do you like being my dirty little bitch?
Don't start with me.
You don't win.
One of his fetishes are the feel of my teeth singing into tender feminine flesh.
I'm proud of you.
Adam, I've put a bunch into the chat if you want to.
Oh, yes.
Spanking my clit with your rock hard cock.
One of my kinks is Fowl's Galak, which is, you know, something everybody's into.
Full moon sex.
Kitten pet play Knife play
Lace
Purring and scratching
Cause I'm a wolf
Snuggle fucks
Snuggling
It's the snuggle fucks
I'm Dipsy
I'm Dipsy
I'm cock
I wanna change my podcast name to Snugglefucks
That's the really
unsuccessful twin brother of Snagglepuss
They call me Snugglefucks
Where are you going?
Wolfie Pounce.
I'm into it.
That's one of my fetishes is Wolfie Pounce.
Sure.
He's also got 100
orgasms in a weekend. I was just gonna say that.
Hey,
hey, Cheapskates
Yeah
I'm looking here at the profile
On page 6 of the document
From Jing Otuona
Okay
And would you welcome me to the void please
I would love to be welcomed to the void
Absolutely
I'm Jing Otuona 42
23 at the time of writing I'm Jing Otuona, 42, 23 at the time of writing. I'm a top.
Welcome to the void.
I just want to mention that as of right now, Jing Otuona, who's changed the name to something else, has a it's complicated relationship with literally everybody.
Same.
Same here.
Oh. Well, you're about to find out why. With a life like mine,
you can hardly not be complicated.
I actually do mean it
when I say that, because there's many levels
of me, some I have not even touched
upon. I'm not constantly
evolving, but I do tend to form multiple
opinions about everything.
Put more on that later,
tonguey face.
To start,
to start, I'm a furry.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Alright, well, fuck it.
Let's just screw, man.
I'm already on the hook now.
Hey, hey, hey, you have not yet seen all the levels.
Oh, okay.
A six-part chimera.
Okay, you know what?-part Kimura. Okay.
You know what?
No wonder it's so complicated.
You're six different animals rolled into one.
You pick one.
You just pick one suit.
We're not going to pack all six suits.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, I get the hand for this one.
I'm supposed to express myself with one fursuit.
You're just whatever this one is for just one, you're whatever this one
is for this weekend, and that's fine, okay?
Alright, if I...
Okay, well, I could be an
undetermined goat, I could be an
undetermined shark, I could be a
carrion crow, I could be a Siberian
tiger, I could be a black mamba
snake, or I could be an aye-aye.
Okay. I feel, I think you're a
combination of all of them, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, aye-aye. Okay. I think you're a combination of all of them, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd be able to show you this
if I had a Fur Affinity account
because my Fur Affinity profile is only
open to people who have accounts.
Anywho.
There actually
is more within the self-disliked.
I'm going to drop myself. We're not going to have to go to
Fur Affinity.
Yay! I'm just done by go to fur affinity. Yay!
Sweet. I'm just done by the episode, Sam.
Yay!
So there actually is more within this self-disliked yet otherly liked and enjoyed human carapace.
Oh, dear.
If you wonder why I say it like that, it's because I don't find myself to be human, just trapped in the body of one.
That is, I feel I'm an otherkin of
three levels, Vampire, Fire
Demon, and Incubus.
Right, right, right.
And of course you're nine different things rolled into
one. Right, right.
There could be more.
If you want more of what makes me happy, tick
interest me, and aren't suddenly thinking,
wow, this guy is stupid, BAM!
Tumblr slut right here. It's been deleted.
Oh, it's
Tumblr. No.
Continuing on,
I'm quite addicted to music. I cannot live
in a quiet world. At times I can find myself
actually becoming mentally aroused
by music, sometimes even feeling
as if my aura is shifting
from it. I often have my music
playing somehow or have a song playing in my head.
How uncommon is that?
Music is just so important to me.
It fills me so much with even the softest of sounds
or the vaguest of how it forms
to a cacophony of splendor.
Ooh, yes.
And then if you'll scroll down to
how you are aromantically pansexual.
I'd just like to point out your list of kinks is like five times as long as the last guy's.
Wow.
There's just like keywords now.
It's just to get.
Begging for mercy.
Being a hookah whore.
Being a hookah whore.
Boss and secretary
alright well
cyber sex
well as much as I have piqued your interest
this is probably where I'll lose your interest
being blinded with science
I am aromantically Wikipedia link link, pansexual, although I'm honestly very snuggly slash cuddly slash affection.
I just don't feel much in the quadrant of love.
Telling you to chill your boner.
Love quadrant.
Yeah.
That means I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, but everything else you would think of is alright.
If your mind wanders and you begin thinking
I'm promiscuous,
you're not wrong! I am a
clean, dominant slut.
Though I am rather
promiscuous, I also enjoy being a
nerd around people, relaxing with
whatever is possible, etc.
God damn it!
I do admit,
I'm very easy,
just a bit picky,
mainly with guys.
Girls,
there is such a plethora
of opportunity.
Winky tonguey face.
Thanks for taking this tour
of this little bit of crazy.
If you're somehow still reading,
then send me a message,
look at my pictures,
friend me,
any combo of all of the above, or
regret reading all this and click
to the next FetPage you were
interested in. Let's do that. Toodles!
So many
groups that you're a member of. Let's do that before we
have to send them our photos. Including ask a female or male
to rate your cock slash pussy.
Okay, this. Alright. Kinky
Xbox gamers. Okay. Making her come so hard her eyes turn blue
making her come so hard she turns into a core like like a corpse a corpse but without an e
on the end of it okay making her come so hard she walks into a door
huh so so you're making her come is she is she in transit while you're making her come
yeah like she's okay she's trying to find the bathroom you have given her a remote control dildo
not getting pregnant just just but just think of how... I'm so into this. Think of how teledaldonics have improved since 2013.
Oh, my God.
Fucking to death metal.
Hey, guys.
My name's Alucard95125.
Yeah, I'm into Deadpool,
which is the same as having a personality.
So that's me.
I'm straight.
I'm active just in the bedroom.
Other than that, I'm not active at all.
Anyway, so here's the thing.
I do not add men at all.
No one has permission to steal or take any photos, including the one of me where I'm Deadpool.
And if they do, I'll make sure they pay for it.
Hi.
My name's Skyler.
Yeah.
Like the same guy name as spelling in the show Heroes.
I have been called that because there's so many guys with the same name as my original name
heroes is so hot right now i'm six foot 2.5 inches and still growing i use b2 play water polo and be
captain of my swim team i wear only black and 95 dark gray. I'm into a lot of things.
I go hiking, camping, rock climbing, and other things outdoors.
I am into the dark, creepy side of the paranormal world.
None of the creepy things that makes people's skin crawl.
I'm only into the cute things of the paranormal, so I guess we can't fuck.
Oh, well, wait, wait, wait.
Just so you know, I'm a nerd.
Oh, you're a nerd.
Okay, yeah, I got you.
You're also really into the Phantom of the Opera for some reason?
Because they're a nerd.
I am a gothic slash punk slash skater slash rocker slash surfer slash vampire
slash jock slash geek
and so much more.
Act now.
I also do parkour in my
free time.
It's very dangerous. Just working on getting into the professional
parkour scene. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
F Plus listeners, if you're not
familiar, competitive tag. professional parkour scene yeah absolutely yeah yeah uh f plus listeners if you're not familiar
uh a competitive tag
they want to they want they want tag to be an olympic sport and so they basically have two
people that like play tag in a jungle gym but you know they take it seriously obviously um
uh i highly don't recommend people who don't know what it is unless you know.
Oh, Jesus.
I highly don't recommend people who don't know what it is unless you do what it is.
And you know what you are going to doing and are very careful.
Yeah.
Of course.
I've always said that. A little leg stretch here okay that was parkour right
uh i don't want anyone to get hurt or blame me for getting them into it i also like
ride to more motorcycles i like harley davidson and ducati bikes i don't like the ninjas or or blame me for getting them into it. I also like ride motorcycles.
I like Harley Davidson and Ducati bikes. I don't like the ninjas or crouch rockets
because they hurt too much and bend my back and steer them too.
I listen to all forms of rock music.
I have been through a lot pain and suffering
and wouldn't like to go until I am ready and comfortable in talking about it.
I am also into driving my car fast and other stuff like that.
Yes, I am a speed demon, and I am sure am damn proud of it.
So if you have anything you like to ask, feel free to ask me.
I'll answer anything you ask.
What's your favorite sport?
My favorite
sport is
cars. Oh, water sports.
Water sports is my favorite sport.
Oh, yeah. I guess that would be.
Thanks for asking.
Your fetishes include holding hands to cross the
street.
And Boots, what are you looking at there?
I'm half-gar.
Oh, dear.
Well, my profile picture says, I'll fuck you so hard you'll forget your safe word.
That's good.
Great.
That's good.
That's good.
Y'all feel safe around me?
Man, there's a lot of photos of your butt plug.
Most of your gallery is your butt plug.
No, that's a picture of them.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
These are all...
God.
All right.
Yeah.
About me.
Well, let me think as to what to say here.
How does one convey the depth of what they are and the rigidness of the written word?
Alas, poor reader, you know me not well.
So, I guess I will state a few facts, desires, and intentions.
Hello, fat life.
I guess I will make a fat life profile.
In the hopes that some of who and what I am will gleam forth into your mind.
Or maybe my words will just sit on the screen like many unwanted pixels.
When are we going to get somebody from this site who is not a Renfair reject?
I am the most contemplative monster around.
Word like is not necessary
there.
I am one who has gone by the
title of master. Dom,
top, and more.
I am a man's
man, whatever that's
supposed to mean.
I enjoy and live in the position of control and authority.
Also, I fully understand what it means to have and use this.
I believe that only a fraction of others who share the same or similar titles as I
have any clue what the extent of what they are doing entails.
What?
Boy, it's really not gleaming forth.
Has anyone ever really been far even as decided to use even go want to look more like?
Sorry.
Sorry.
sorry I enjoy bringing both pleasure
and pain to others and love
to watch my work unfold
I take full accountability
for what I have done and what I will do
I have never regretted
a single thing I have done
and I do not intend to start
that makes you a killer
many other people
many people regret things I've done many many people regret things i've done many
many people regret things i've done but i don't i mean what do uh what i do and do what i oh i mean
what i do and do what i mean i always have a reason for what I do. Say what you do! An elephant's faithful 100%.
Even if you do not agree or understand it,
my reasons are mine and mine alone.
Oh, God.
I use this bullshit to win all of my arguments.
I care and love intensely
and have become very protective of what I feel is mine.
But do not take me lightly, for I have no problem taking or borrowing what is mine as well.
If you are not able to hold on to it, then it was not meant for you to have on your own.
for you and have you to have on your own.
I have been
I have been known
as a giant teddy bear.
Soft and cuddly
and make those I
protect feel the highest level
of safety and calm.
But the teddy bear that will twist your soul!
I'm gonna get to that, I'm sure.
But to all others, I'm sure. But to all
others, I am nothing less than
a wall of teeth, claws,
and bad intentions.
Hey, what groups are you
part of, cool guy?
Oh, my groups?
They are the best groups.
One that starts with R.
One that starts with R.
Oh, Renaissance Fair
Kingsters.
Human
paintball targets.
I just realized a Renaissance Fair is
basically like a FetLife meetup
anyway, right?
Yes.
Do not buy the
leather mugs.
I'm also a member of ALS Nashville's
First Sunday Munch.
You lie, I am.
On a Sunday.
CPI the Mark Nashville's Kink
Community Center.
Human paintball tower.
Dungeons and dragons
hey poor tax
yeah
down in page 15 there
you've got perfect
perfect kitten
perfect kitten is a 26 year old switch
oh there I am
yeah
perfect kitten
hello I'm perfect kitten I'm a Oh, there I am. Yeah. Perfect kitten.
Hello, I'm perfect kitten.
I'm a 20 switch.
How about me?
I live by the code of the wolf.
What the fuck? There's so many fucking wolves on this website.
So many wolves.
Dominating you.
Honor the moon.
Love your wolves.
Depend your pack.
You know that shit.
Lupine is not just a mental state,
it's a way of life.
And hell of a fun one at that.
Linda.
Linda.
Your profile is so long.
Oh my god.
Well, my name's Crystal.
I'm a natural submissive
who is very curious about
learning new things with this lifestyle
of this new
lifestyle of being a wolf
that I always am. I see myself
very much as kitten girl.
Hey, kitty girl.
Just my favorite kind of wolf.
The kitten.
I love to meow and purr for my play partners.
And if they know how to scratch my itch properly.
By the way, just random words are fucking capitalized for literally no reason in all of this.
But anyway, if they know how to scratch my itch properly.
Hee hee.
I've known I've been a natural submissive for quite some time, basically since early high school.
I'm also Wiccan, so I guess that makes me a witchy kitty.
How many kitty girls do not think of themselves as Wiccan?
That seems like a subset.
I'm a Presbyterian cat girl.
like a subset. I'm a Presbyterian cat girl.
I've joined FetLife to
meet new people and learn about anything
that may catch my feline attention.
All capitalized, I've got
quite a few friends who are masters,
but alas, it's for a different section
of my profile.
I currently can't play
as much as I would like, for I am in fact
currently jobless, which
makes this cut and sad.
Update in 2019,
that line is still there.
Well, you know, current is a difficult
concept, right?
A lot of people abandoned social media
since then, so maybe...
I live the lifestyle when i can and to the
fullest of my current ability well that's all for now i will update as i figure out more to say
as for the masters i'm friends with well before they can be named in my profile info this kitten
has to show them what she's written first thanks for for sharing. Feel free to add me.
I don't bite.
Not unless it'll please you.
Yeah!
Oh wait, is this my...
There's like three or four jokes that should just
be illegal.
Is the next section
also this kitten wolf
girl, or is this...
Yeah, those are your... What are your five sides
there? Okay, I'm also
I guess a chimera of some sort.
First is the caracal
kitten. Oh, is this also
an Andrew Lloyd Webber thing?
Caracal
cats.
No.
That would be great. Kitten is the kitten girl of the group. Although that would be great.
Kitten is the kitten girl of the group.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Thank you. What else?
What else you got there?
The furry tiger's gem.
Truly outrageous.
We must steal the furry tiger's gem!
My other side is the wolf davera.
A wolf, finally.
The wolf is the pack animal of the group.
Even though she's also somewhat a loner?
She's alone in a pack.
Of animals.
The next one's the most dangerous animal of all, the baby girl, Draymaria.
animal of all, the baby girl Draymaria.
Her age is usually
close to 18, but she acts
younger.
Nope.
So she's obnoxious, I guess.
Boo a lot.
And then finally, ooh.
My
kin type, the Psy Vampire Aislinn. Oh, hell yeah. then finally uh oh my my kid type the
Psy Vampire Aislinn are you also the
lion from that's as long she typed that
into people like oh like Lion the
Witcher no no I'm A-slit.
Hey, Adam?
Yes.
I believe that your name, if I remember correctly,
your name is Christian Dom.
That is me.
Christian Dom 4F.
Christian Dom 4 females?
Is that what that means?
Does that mean you're 4F? Like you've been rejected by the u.s army no he's part of the four the the 4f uh the the farm the agricultural club
for children that's 4h no it's 4f it's the farm farm farming farming farming farming
farming
farming
farming
farming
4H huh
wow
yeah
farm fucking
fetish friends
oh no
anyway
tell me about yourself
Christian Dom.
Farmer.
Farmer, farmer.
My name's Christian Dom 4F.
I'm a 54.
I'm a 53.
I'm a 53-year-old man, and I'm the master.
I'm a Christian dominant, and I'm seeking Christian submissives.
You may want to read this article on the left about myself and who I am seeking first.
The following is a lot about the relationship dynamics I pray for in the future marriage.
Not set in stone.
You're looking for a wife on FetLife.
I am praying for a wife through FetLife, my friend.
Of course, of course, this is the Lord's instrument, okay.
I trust our loving Father that has a perfect spiritual, physical, mental, sexual, and emotional mate picked out for me.
And all I have to do is search and wait trusting she will come into my
life uh i have had some experiences mostly of being dominate uh never formally got into bdsm
did dabble in some with some various women in the past and have been in the Christian lifestyle for many decades.
Don't call it the Christian lifestyle.
I want a relationship that is Christian BDSM.
Yeah, that's a good look.
Your profile is enormous.
Thank you.
Can we just jump to where it says
following is a summary of what I believe
in?
Okay.
Okay.
I will
have to go to the
top of the next page.
There it is. Okay.
There it is.
As a Christian
dominate, I must measure all of my actions against the bible
and what i know jesus christ wants for my life and for my submissive i must look out for to rename
submissive yes what are jesus's thoughts on werewol? Because the site seems to be full of them.
I must look out for and care for my sub emotionally, sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally, but also spiritually as well.
Emotionally.
Yes.
Because I know I am responsible for her
when spiritual well-being in this life
and so we can enter the next life in heaven.
Oh, oh no.
Yes, we must enter the next life.
I must prepare my wife for heaven.
Man, Reverend Lovejoy's gotten extremely weird in this episode i can't do things
because i want to or because it feels good and others in the world are doing nor just make up
any rules that come to my head and make me happy instead i have to make sure all my rules and regulations are in keeping with
the Bible. That what
I want is what God wants.
I must keep perspective on whether
God is pleased with the submissive
or slave.
Wow.
You know what? Do you have any issues?
If only the Bible said anything
about slaves.
Probably safe.
I must hold myself accountable to God,
being pleased with myself as your dominate,
in all things, with myself as your Christian dominate.
I know I have no other higher
authority than God
and that you do too.
I have to make
sure that we both stay true to that
higher authority. I must
totally be accountable to my wife
and my family members.
Yeah, this all
sounds real super hot Christian dominant.
I'm really into all of this
like i like how you're like it doesn't feel good but it's our duty yeah it makes me real horny um
i'm into spanking uh can you tell me anything about spank i want to like get with you and have
you spank me or i spank you or whatever so can we do that is that okay spanking and punishment
in our christian marriage is not about kink or sex, but about
maintaining a balanced household
where both parties are cared for
and loved.
Why are you on this website?
To find my sexy wife.
God left a wife
for me somewhere, and I must wait for her.
Just opening up
forum doors.
Honey!
I really want the story where Jensen's
a cat person and Jared's a dog person and you're
my wife. Get out!
Your ideal partner
is that gif of
John Travolta, sort of like lost.
My disobedient wife
might be sent to the corner
and then required to bend over
my knee. Punishment is only given when
needed and it is always intended to
correct a real offense.
Not about kink or sex. That's the important
thing. It's not about kink. I'm thinking about it right now.
Right now I'm thinking about it, but it's not about kink or sex. That's the important thing. It's not about kink. I'm thinking about it right now. Right now I'm thinking about it, but it's not about kink or sex.
Other consequences can be used, including corner time, writing lines, or temporary forfeiture of a favorite privilege, or whatever the dominate person decrees.
That being you.
Being me, yeah.
That being you Also providing discipline and correction
To change the submissive or slave
Partner's behavior
Attitude or words can be done
Likewise for the disobedient husband
The same applies for the wife
Temporarily assumes full authority
Of the household
Until the punishment
This is really appealing
Yeah I'm in
I was gonna fuck that were Yeah, I'm in.
I was going to fuck that werewolf, but I'm in.
Sometimes you can be the husband.
Well, I think it's nice that Sorab Omari finally found
somebody he can get along with.
Hey,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're going to be, we got a couple of forum
posts we need to get to.
But before we get to there, we need one more profile here.
Cheapskates.
Yeah.
There's a profile from a fella by the name of, I'm sorry, what was his name?
His name was Frikey Tiger.
Frikey.
Frikey Tiger. Frankie. Frankie Tiger.
Frankie Tiger.
His profile's also taken down.
Frankie.
No, the heat man's always getting into trouble.
Don't fuck, cringer.
Don't do it.
Well, I'm Frankie Tiger.
I'm 31 male.
About me, the roll option does not have my role. My role is a tiger.
Okay.
Don't worry about it. Seems like everyone else is also a tiger on this website.
Dom, sub, tiger.
Even the ones that aren't tigers, they're also tigers. Yeah. Well, I happen to be a rare male, or so I'm told. But it seems this site's ooyee is geared only to certain fetishes and not all.
Oosh. I mean, yeah.
I am a tiger is not really a fetish.
I don't... Tell DeviantArt that shit, Boots.
Hold on, hold on. I haven't even gotten to what makes me rare yet.
I'm a male
tiger looking to mate. I can be
very dominate, but not to the point
of being cruel. I also like
to play on equal grounds as well.
No one dominating. I in
no way respond well to
one trying to dominate me.
Though at times,
playful wrestling, resisting,
teasing attempts to dominate will up my level of friskiness.
Oh, I got a pre-cum on me.
Oh, God.
I enjoy cuddling and exploring each other.
Foreplay is grand.
Should have been great.
I'll edit my profile to say that.
Frosted price.
Yeah.
I can get a little rough, but I only use my body.
I do not add any type of bondage.
It's more satisfying to use one's own strength.
I thought he was going to say he has mind powers or something.
I'm a psychic tiger.
Type of women I'm into?
Well, women come in many beautiful shapes and sizes.
Okay, Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Yeah.
Well, women like from the ring?
Yeah, yeah.
Like the one Jesus met at the well.
I'm friends with the last guy.
But personality also plays a part of what makes a person attractive or not.
If you think you are not attractive or interesting, you need to stop and let me decide that.
I didn't know you were the arbiter.
I will not.
I'm fine where I am.
I am the ultimate arbiter of good and evil.
You sell buttons that says Frankie Tiger thinks I'm cool?
Yeah.
We are often our own worst judge.
Like I said, women comb in many beautiful shapes and sizes, and they all need lovin'.
Up until I find my mates, I am pretty much free game for play, though I will not be owned or anyone's pet.
Okay.
And when I stated mates, I was implying that if the situation or occasion ever arose, I would take one having two female partners.
Though if I find a female who grabs my atten enough, that will do just as well.
If I find a female who grabs my atten enough, that will do just as well.
Personally, I'm sick of all the drama and games of my past relationships.
Cool, that's awesome.
Hey, Frankie Tiger, I'm looking for somebody without baggage.
Is that you?
Just keep going, just keep going.
I just want to know if that's you, a person without baggage.
Probably. I seek a relationship, not a power struggle.
So if you are known for not being able to hold a stance over quality in a relationship,
don't paw in my direction for a mate.
Not really seeking a partner ATM, though.
Oh, good.
I've decided to add more to this section now.
There's a lot more to me than just my ultra frisky tiger self.
Hey, so we're going to move into the forums of FetLife.
But I'm a combat solider.
That's good.
so Boots we're going to go into the
we've been looking only at profiles
of FetLife and that's fine
except for FetLife does have
forums and Boots your name is
O. Henry
and I just have a question
I want to ask you if that's alright
yeah so homemade anal hook.
Huh?
I fuck, I fuck, I fuck Peter Pan.
Goofy, yo! Goofy, yo!
So I've been looking at anal hooks at the online stores, but they're quite expensive.
Is this to hang up your submissives?
I mean, yeah, after you get impressed.
Does anyone know of a way to make your own or substitute something for it can't really think of something that would have a ball on the end like an adult store hooks would uh yeah
my name is oh henry um if you make one yourself don't lose that ball at the end.
I think somebody has suggested getting a bathroom towel hook from Home Depot.
So I think this is what the response to.
If you make one yourself, don't lose that ball at the end.
I'm not sure if it's worth for the money. An idea would be to order with many of us and getting best price.
Maybe together with the group.
Crafts toy making toy ideas.
Hey, Adam.
Your name's Master James F.
Yep.
Your name's Master James F.
You have a question?
Do you want to ask the forums?
I'm not very practical,
but I've always wanted
one of those lovely dildos
on broomsticks
that they use a lot.
You should read the title of this.
Oh, well, my name is Master James F. I posted this a while ago and this is dick on a stick
dick on a stick dick on a stick i'm not a very i'm i'm not very practical but i've always wanted
one of those lovely dildos on a broomstick that they use a lot in kink.com movies.
It may seem simple,
but it would be great to be able to have interchangeable dicks.
Look, that's what we all want, but we can't all have them.
Yes, it would be great to have interchangeable dicks.
How should I make one?
Warmest regards.
Every time I go into an office,
I go, I wish those dicks were interchangeable.
Warmest regards, Master James.
Come and listen to King Missile, I think.
Cheapskate, what does Baby Jones
Girl want to do? Bones, I'm sorry,
Bones Baby Girl. Bones Baby Girl.
Well, I just
want to pop it!
I think my pleasure in popping zits Well, I just want to pop it!
I think my pleasure in popping zits and yanking ingrown hairs has gone too far.
I'm not done.
I find myself watching YouTube videos of these things.
As much as I hate having blemishes, there's something so satisfying about popping a zit or pushing out a blackhead.
Pulling an ingrown hair
out from under the skin. I'm finding
myself turned on at the act.
Like sitting on a man's back and
popping the zits on his shoulder.
Oh no!
Or getting that
ingrown hair out of his chin.
Pushing blackheads out from behind his ear!
I'm thinking it might be a fetish!
Anyone else into this?
No!
I think it might be a fetish. I think you might be right.
What do you at home think?
I think Lemon needs to take the response from Sweet and Evil Master.
Pause for classroom discussion.
Okay, fine. Yes. response from sweet and evil master pause for classroom discussion okay fine yes i enjoy pop
thing pulling picking finally admitted it i even went so far as to lance's sixth
on my own leg it It's disgusting and delightful.
Well, you're half right.
Impulsion. Which half?
Which half?
Is it? It's only you think
it's only half delightful?
Is that what you're saying?
It's only half disgusting.
So now we're in the fourth, I guess.
And a third tiger.
Yeah.
And Wolf, I wonder what the mental health profession would call us.
I know trichotillomania is a diagnosable disorder focusing around compulsive hair plucking.
The mental health profession would call us ambulances to take us away.
You're going to the loony bin.
You're going to the loony bin Something I've struggled with
Trying to maintain facial hair
In the past
I kinda look at the whole
Zit blackhead thing as being like
Research?
What will we get out of this pocket?
Is it like the last one?
Size? Volume? Range?
It's like an advent calendar in my face.
Kinder surprises suck.
More pus.
Near the end of this thread,
Villanius Intent says,
I know way too many girls who are into this nowadays.
I have actually had women stop during sex just to pick at me.
And I believe you.
Jesus.
It's almost like they all have villainous intent.
Hey, Portex. um uh hey poor tax
you're poly but you're permanently
celibate is that right
yes
senior wences
is it alright
is it alright
with a strap
is that right
well we should practice my senior wences boys Side-eye with a strap. Side-eye.
Well, we can practice my senior wences, boys.
But I haven't.
Side-eye in the box.
If you do it lousy, you're still doing it right. I'm just imagining the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction,
but with the senior wences coming out of the box.
He's got a ball
in his hand.
So,
I like women.
Being with them, talking with them, sharing what I do.
I'm quite familiar with several women.
Oh, well, not to brag.
More than one.
Can you say the same?
I've seen four women.
I am heterosexual, feel no sexual feeling towards males.
I am perfectly content to be celibate for the
near-term future uh does anyone else out there have any celibate poly relationships
friends
what does that mean what does that mean yes some do. The people in this group who shout from the rooftops that relationships have nothing to do with sex, for example.
Yeah, I meant with a little snark, but I'm being serious, too.
I think the people in, oh my god, this is still a parenthetical, in non-sexual romantic relationships do feel the need to insist that others, their relationships count because some people tell them that they're not a real two in the
in grouping and out grouping. It's everywhere.
End of parentheses.
The one thing is
to inform your partners
this is now all in italics
before you enter into
a relationship
with them, that sex
is not on the table.
Only on the sofa.
No. I could not, is not on the table. Only on the sofa. No.
I could not, would not on the bed.
I could not, would not get in the shed.
Boots, you were noticing something that we accidentally skipped over.
Oh, no, no.
Yeah.
I am spirit cannibal.
The anus is the closest entrance to the sacral chakra.
Interesting.
Hi, everyone.
Hi.
I'm Hayden.
It's true.
Cool.
Let's shake hands a lot.
Good.
Let's have prolonged eye contact.
While we shake hands, I'm going to do the thing where I rub my middle finger against your palm.
Yeah, that sounds fine with me.
I wouldn't be bothered by that at all.
For years, I've been trying to figure out
why I have such an anal fetish.
I have concluded that the anus is the closest entrance
to the sacral chakra, which is the sensual
center. The reason
that I crave that particular
part of the body more than any
other, other than possibly
the eyes, is because I...
I like your eyes and your anus. Can we combine them?
I feel
that I can commune
with the soul of a person more fully
through that entrance to the body.
Are you a Kappa?
Do you whisper into the anus?
The eyes are the windows to the soul,
but the ass is the doorway.
Profound.
Cafepress.com!
The service entrance to the soul.
Brings you into the mudroom.
And then I paste a lengthy sample of my book where I go into further detail.
Oh, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
So, like, there's nothing else.
Like, I mean, I don't know chakras that well.
But there's nothing else that, like, is in that general area that could be close to this sexy chakra?
No.
Nothing else in that area that could be?
Eyes and asshole, that's it.
That's definitely the closest entrance if you needed to get close to it.
For sure.
For sure.
Okay, here we go.
Yeah, this is what I was looking for for a long time.
Hey, Adam.
Yes.
If I remember correctly, you're trying to remember the name of a pill.
Is that right?
Yeah, I'm trying to remember the name of a pill.
Yeah, okay.
I am trying.
My name is Mikey Fitz.
Good name, good name. I am trying to remember name is Mikey Fitz. Good name, good name.
I am trying to remember the name of a pill.
Okay.
About 10, 3 years ago or so,
I bought some stuff on a late night infomercial,
and this stuff changed the test of my salmon.
Oh, God.
I mean, okay.
I can see that.
Yeah, that's possible.
That's definitely possible.
It also caused me to cum in huge quantities.
After taking it for a few days, it caused me to have a huge mind blowing orgasms and produce copious
amounts of pre-cum
or seminal fluid
good flavor
and triple the length
of orgasms
too
he took liquid for affinity
typically a healthy adult
will make spasm two to five times during orgasm.
If he is lucky fucker, this stuff increased the amount of each orgasm.
Went from normally around a teaspoon of salmon to two tablespoons full.
Two or three Did you come in
the kitchen or did you run to the kitchen afterwards?
Oh yeah, I ran into the kitchen.
Two or three spasms of
orgasm increased
to five or six
long full body orgasms.
Amazing refractory time too.
Lost the bottle to get it refilled.
As well as their contact info.
Has anyone ever heard of a pill like I've just described?
I want more
I would imagine you would
But can't find any reference to it
Please let me know if y'all can find it
Or a source to order it
My cum tastes great anyway
But that stuff made it taste amazing
Okay, um, so
Dr. Smith actually only goes by appointment
If you come back tomorrow and fill out the forms Then I'm sure he can see you here Okay, so Dr. Smith actually only goes by appointment.
If you come back tomorrow and fill out the forms, then I'm sure he can see you here.
Dr. Dr. My cum tastes bad.
What an honest to God sex monster.
It's like he's like that big hairy monster that chases
Bugs Bunny, but horny.
Gossamer? Gossamer.
He's a horny gossamer?
Yeah, he's a horny gossamer.
What did we learn from any of this, F+.
That guy's cum tastes really good,
I guess. Yes, it did.
Now it doesn't, though.
Easy cum, I guess. It did. Now it doesn't, though. Easy come, easy go.
Anything else?
I learned that
God works in mysterious ways
and finds you
a beautiful, sexually perfect wife
if you pray
hard enough on the right internet site.
Yeah, and the fact that he deleted his FetLife account
means that there must have been, like, prophecy fulfilled
and moving on to bigger and better things.
The only possibility.
That is the only possibility.
A lot of these people don't, like,
obviously people are meeting each other on the site,
I mean, I would assume,
but, like, a lot of these people are just like,
here's another opportunity to talk about myself myself don't really seem to care too much if
anyone responds or not yeah i put another other business out there definitely that there's
definitely that i mean horny on the internet is just a thing that lots of like is a thing that
motivates lots of people like not not that i want to be horny but
specifically that i want to be horny on the internet i'm going that these people are
rebelling in unison how's that uh in that you know we have to find a way to smash society and
smash traditional sexual expectations and be unique in a in a way that no one else has ever done before.
And they all fall into the same old ways of doing it.
It's a really good thing FetLife exists because it's Facebook for the weird things people want to do with their genitals.
It's flypaper theory.
And it keeps all of that off of Facebook.
Yes.
Well, does it, though?
I mean, I assume it probably does.
At least so.
Okay.
It keeps it up here.
Good.
Then there's nothing gross or horrible left on Facebook.
Yay!
You just meet face down, ass up with a pussy in my face.
All that shit's moved to next door now.
Weird.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Imagine if there was a proper fet life next door.
And then it just would get closer and closer to you.
It would be like a whole purge situation.
I think we're just sitting on a gold mine here yeah no we're gonna
do it we're gonna do it i saw a werewolf walking through the neighborhood that i don't recognize
do you think they could be a burglar i think there's a wolf outside the one thing that a
friend of mine uh and i were talking about the other day was IoT dick cages.
As you do.
Yeah, you talk about,
so it'd be IoT dick cages and so you'd have like your cross pendant
that you'd wear
and then when the two partners
got close to each other
then the dick cage would unlock.
Until they get hacked
and then you have to pay a Bitcoin
to unlock them.
Yeah, oh, that'll totally happen.
Yeah, for sure. But you need to pay a Bitcoin to unlock them. Yeah, oh, that'll totally happen. Yeah, for sure.
But you need to make it work
so then you sell it as an MLM scheme.
All part of the cake.
And if you're looking for opportunities on the internet,
you can go to Ballpit.
That's B-A-L-P dot I-T.
It's a forum.
That's all.
Bye.
Yay, chimeras.
Okay, bye. That's all. Bye. Yay, chimeras. Okay, bye.
That's all you need to know.
Bulp it.
Bulp it.
Bye.
Bye. What the hell, who cares? All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there.
I'm a slave for you.
I cannot hold it.
I cannot enjoy it.
I'm a slave for you.
I won't deny it.
I'm not trying to hide it.
Baby.
Massive breasts on shapely bodies Massive breasts on shapely bodies
Massive breasts on shapely bodies