The F Plus - 319: The Alkaline Trip
Episode Date: March 8, 2020Alfredo Bowman (aka Dr. Sebi) made an interesting discovery about germ theory: Namely, that there is only one germ, which causes a disease called "disease", which causes mucus, which in turn caus...es disease. And germs. Also beets cause perpetual motion. It's all very sensible, so please buy this £40 tea. This week, The F Plus is giving up the moisture.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The fuck is Telf?
I've got some buddies and we all drink bleach
You know we practice what we preach
We're not a drunken bunch of frat boys
Trashed on beers or a stone bunch of hippies
With no careers
I wanna drink bleach with a Georgia peach
Welcome to the F Plus Podcast Ter terrible things drowning in mucus.
In the room tonight, we've got Achilles Heelys.
Once a month, every woman sheds an unfertilized egg.
It's called a period.
This is also the same for hens.
Fact.
Adam Bozarth.
If you put garlic juice on the edge of your knife blade
And cut someone with it
Their wound will never stop bleeding or heal
And they will bleed out and die
French toast
George Washington Carver was a master agriculturalist
Henry Ford employed him to cultivate something
That could be used to create ink, paint, glue, or plastics
For his cars
George went to his laboratory, came back, and said
I call it soybeans.
Christ.
Stog?
Look, the best bread to eat is your own unleavened
bread made by
you.
Portex squeezed my head and tofu shot out my nose.
That's why celery is made out of rats.
Still continuing our work study project.
It is the intern.
Rice was made in Holland.
It is a brand just like Nike, Dyson, Samsung, Rolex, etc.
And me, Bo, Rolex, etc. And
me, Boots Reingear.
People learn from an early age that symptoms
are bad and should be stopped or suppressed.
Okay.
Hey, F+. Hey, Ryan. in the beginning, but now it seems our numbers are thinning. Some people try to face the fact that love
to be a man is a lie.
You wait.
Lemon, you sound different. Yeah, I do.
Because I'm Boots. Lemon isn't here.
That does happen sometimes.
He's dead. He's Sweeps Week.
You sound like you have a plan to fight.
It's Sweeps Week, which is a thing
that still exists.
Yes.
Because the Nielsen books still exist.
Shit.
Why?
Anyway.
No, no, no, no.
Anyway, how is your bodies?
How is your bodies?
I can't stop farting.
Bodies is good.
Food have poison in lungs.
Yes, no?
I think I'm okay.
Stog, tell me about your farting.
I keep farting and farting. Sometimes I fart so loud that I launch myself up into the air just a foot or two.
I'll write Wario.
Or six.
That was a preview of our spinoff podcast, the Stogfartcast.
It's going to go good.
It's coming.
2020.
A lot of good things are coming in 2020.
You're listening to weekly emissions.
Farts.stog.com.
Check it.
All right.
That's a better title.
We're going to have to rework this for another year.
Shit.
I got a document here provided by a first-time submitter tipsy almond on a a person whose name isn't exactly dr sebi
his name is actually alfredo bowman he's not a doctor but he good he has an awful lot of ideas
and I'd like Achilles
to sort of introduce
him to us
so on
this is a very
it's going to be a weird document to do because everything is in images
because it is a very strange website
it's a lot of very fancy image graphics
of very informative details.
But, Helios, could you tell us about the man himself?
I'll tell you all about the man himself.
He's achieving optimal health for electrically resonant black men and women.
Okay.
So, static shock?
I guess
I want to live truth
even if it kills me
Alfredo Bowman
aka Dr. Sebi
November 26, 1933
to August 6, 2016
he said that for a really long time
is he no longer with us?
I just thought that's how long he thought
that thought
he died before Doom 2016 was released, he died. I just thought that's how long he thought that thought. He died before Doom 2016 was released.
He didn't get to play Doom 2016.
That's tragic.
That is tragic.
For optimal health, the black man and woman's genetic constitution requires the consistent
consumption of organic natural plant food.
Mean vegetation that grows naturally!
Not created
in a laboratory.
With natural plants, the
molecular structure is complete,
containing... What does that mean?
I'm sorry, go ahead.
Containing the exact
mineral component that is present
in the human body.
You should only eat what's present in your own body.
I think he's warning the black community
to not eat Swamp Thing.
I guess is what he's trying to say.
Nobody should eat Swamp Thing.
Don't eat the foods
you buy off of Craigslist. They're bad.
Just don't. They're missing their molecules.
They don't have all the minerals.
Craigslist?
In contrast,
laboratory plants are created as a result of man tampering with Mother Nature, causing an incomplete molecular structure.
Commonly known in biochemistry as a protoplasmic poison.
Sure.
I'll allow it. The high electrical resonance of the black man and woman
must be complemented by organic natural plant food
containing an equally high degree of electrical resonance.
Our research shows an electric body requires electric food!
Alkaline food.
Okay, so robots eat batteries.
That makes sense.
Uh-huh. Maybe. So robots eat batteries That makes sense Maybe
I thought robots ate old people's medicine
For fuel
This is known as
Chemical affinity
Which is necessary for the assimilation
Of nutrients to occur
What works for our race Will work for all other races Dr. Sebi which is necessary for the assimilation of nutrients to occur.
What works for our race will work for all other races.
Dr. Sebi.
Okay.
Cool.
By the way, before Healy's moves on,
I'd like him to read both of the URLs associated with Dr. Sebi because the second one makes me...
I like very much.
Well, you've got drsebbyselfood.com.
Fair enough.
And eattolivenottodie.com.
That's a really good URL.
That's a very good URL.
A lot of the content that we're reading, I just figured out now, is from the Instagram account.
Wait, an archive of the Instagram account?
What?
From eat2livewithadied.com slash Instagram.
But if you also go to the website, a lot of them are just there.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, there's a...
Okay.
It's confusing as hell.
Yeah, they've got the Instagram embedded into the website.
Okay, that's fine.
That's how things work.
So, yeah yeah moving on let's get into some of like the you know the the actual cures let's let's all become healthier uh understand our bodies understand how we can uh like live
forever or something who knows um uh intern yes uh what does this man cure?
If we look at the image on the next page.
Also, I hope your eyes are really good.
I know how to zoom in.
Is that helpful?
That is cheating.
I got the binoculars. I got the binoculars.
Stop it.
It helps.
I got some binoculars.
Stop it.
It helps.
This man cures HIV, AIDS, STDs, stroke, cancer, diabetes, arthritis, blindness, sickle cell,
and many more using alkaline herbs.
Hi. Dr. Sebi found that there's only one disease, and that is the germ that is in your body causing dis-ease.
Oh, shit.
Thank you, Dr. Sebi.
That was from like 10 years ago.
Holy fuck.
Are you going to tell us what the germ is, or?
No, not yet.
What are you thinking about my humors, Dr. Sebi?
Get rid of the germ, and you become cured.
Germs need to grow just like plants do.
If you take away the soil then the plant simply
cannot grow and will die if you kill someone their germs can't live either
he discovered that mucus is the soil that germs used to grow so if you can get rid of the excess
mucus in your body then these diseases have nowhere to. So it is flushed out of the body.
So it is actually humors.
You were just joking, but you're not wrong.
It's literally humors.
Yeah, get rid of your vile humors, and then you'll live forever.
With this discovery, he began curing people with anything from AIDS to diabetes,
even curing the blind,
which is
caused by germs, apparently.
It's caused by mucus.
Oh man, all that AIDS
in my snot. Terrible.
Dr. Sebi, help me. These germs
poked my eyes out.
He started a healing center in a
village in La Cieba,
Honduras, called the
Usha Research Institute.
It is there that he has cured
many people, including
a few celebrities.
I've heard of them.
Including Andy Kader Buxner.
He cured them of their money.
The center has been there for over 30 years now
and is known for curing diseases
said to be incurable in modern medicine.
That's weird that hasn't been in the news then,
but whatever it is.
Well, it's in Honduras news.
In 1985, Dr. Sebi placed an ad in the Amsterdam news
and also the Amsterdam news, the New York Post and the Village.
The ad read, AIDS has been cured by the Usha Research Institute and we specialize in cures for sickle cell, lupus, blindness, herpes, cancer and others.
How specialization?
Sorry, go ahead.
It is though?
Shut up.
We do it all.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to question dr sebi go ahead
toast it's pretty easy it's pretty easy to specialize when you only you only have to
cure one germ you know what you're right i forgot that you're right yeah he's multi-classing
leave dr sebi alone he's doing his magic let the man work the ad ran for two years before he was attacked by the Attorney General of New York.
Just personally.
Hopefully physically, yeah.
Dr. Sebi was told to remove the ad
when he refused. Within days
he was served with an arrest warrant.
According to Dr. Sebi, the
Attorney General bragged that he was
going to, quote, put Dr. Sebi
under the jail, end quote.
Oh no! Crunch. They're going to put Dr. Sebi under the jail, end quote. Oh no!
Crunch.
They're gonna put Dr. Sebi in it.
They're gonna put the jail on top of Dr. Sebi.
He'll never get out.
The charges read to the jury
was as follows.
Mayor Bloomberg
origins.
Quote, Mr. Alfred
Bowman, a.k.a. Dr. Sebibi you are hereby charged with practicing medicine
selling products not approved by the fda the federal drug administration and claiming to cure
aids and other diseases which is a fraudulent claim end end quote. Sounds reliable to me.
Dr. Sebi was told to bring one person for each of the diseases
he claimed to have cured to court with proof
from a reputable doctor
that shows the individual had the disease,
then proof from another reputable doctor that the person was cured.
Instead of bringing one for each disease, then proof from another reputable doctor that the person was cured.
Instead of bringing one for each disease,
he brought 77 people to the courtroom with proof.
With Prince Ali.
The judge shook her head and said to Dr. Sebi,
quote, I did not ask for all of this, end quote.
What have I got myself into?
To cut a long story short,
the judges,
after seeing the proof and speaking with Dr. Sebi,
turned to the state's attorney
and asked,
did you investigate the man?
She said no.
Because of the overwhelming evidence
of the judge found Dr. Sebi,
because of the overwhelming evidence the judge found Dr. Sebi not guilty of all charges by the state of New York and the Supreme Court because he was indeed curing people of the various diseases, including AIDS and blindness.
this. Dr. Sebi won this court case on Thursday,
29th, September 1988
at 8 o'clock
and 8 minutes in the morning.
This is a hell of a commercial jingle,
I gotta say. It's pretty good.
Sometime
after the case, the judge became one
of his patients.
And everyone applauded.
A number.
He became a patient, actually.
He became the Surgeon General of GameStop. A number of celebrities have also sought healing from Dr. Sebi in the past, including Lisa Left Eye Lopez, Michael Jackson, Magic Johnson John Travolta, Eddie Murphy, Steven Seagal,
and Weddy Williams' son,
Kevin Hunter Jr.
Oh my god.
Weddy Williams' son.
Weddy Williams' son,
Kevin Hunter Jr.
Okay, so at least three of them are dead.
Or two.
I'm assuming Kevin is dead.
John Travolta's career is dead.
As a reminder, all of that text was in one Instagram image.
John Travolta was in that Pitbull video, so I disagree with you.
Have you seen his latest movie?
It is not good.
Stog.
Hey, Stog.
Yeah?
What is philosophy?
Oh, yeah.
After that first part, we're already in the section labeled bizarre
rants that don't fit anywhere yeah third page of document bizarre rates rants that don't fit
anywhere else one two everything else we're not fucking around here um what is philosophy um Philosophy is about assumption. I guess, I believe, I assume, I think cosmic arrangement slash law is knowing there is a difference.
Philosophy is based on belief and assumption.
When you don't have a philosophy and you follow the laws of life slash nature, then you don't have to believe in anything.
Oh.
It's either you know or you don't know.
Man.
Well, if you don't know, now you know.
Here, here, here, here.
Let me give you an example.
For example, we know that you can burn carrots or beets for as long as you like,
but they will never disintegrate to ashes. Okay. We know that. What burn carrots or beets for as long as you like, but they will never disintegrate to ashes.
Okay.
We know that.
What?
We do know that.
You guys remember that science experiment from grade school where you would set a carrot on fire forever?
You set it on fire at the first day of class and it would still be burning the last day of class.
No ashes.
I remember my middle school science teacher being like,
we have a science fair and another burning carrot?
God damn it.
My parents still have the beet furnace in the house.
Ooh, that's pretty rare.
Some say the beet mines in Centralia are still burning to the stone.
Oh, God.
It will just turn black and remain hard.
Why?
Because the only thing that can burn to ashes are those that are carbon-based.
Science!
Yeah, you got something to fucking say, Boots?
Carrots are not carbon-based?
Right!
Okay.
They're carrot-based!
Sessa, write the name, carrots!
Carrots are made up of orange, they're not carbon.
Thank you, see, Stog gets it.
Good point.
Yeah, and beets are made of red, so it carries over.
Yeah, he got the Dr. Man circle mirror on his head, and that means he's right.
I actually would disagree, I think beets are made up of purple.
Stog. Well, you know, made up of purple. Stuck.
Well, you know, there's two sides to every argument.
My handler is telling me to stop with the digressions and go on.
They are considered native to the planet because they contain carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.
If your food does not contain these elements,
then you have an acid substance,
which is against life itself.
That is how...
Why do you keep saying that's not how that works?
Aren't humans acidic?
I thought, okay, well, whatever.
I am not digging your bad vibes, all of you.
You do not have to believe us because the truth does not need believers.
Truth is truth.
Thank you.
Finally, that science checks out.
Do your own tests and research thoroughly.
So get some battery terminals and hook them up to a carrot and see
and you will get a positive charge you can charge your phone with it that's because uh you carrots
are nature's uh nature's battery but remember even a professional person studies or research
could be someone else's opinions not the fact yeah reading and reading and hearing is believing
yeah seeing is not believing but it's knowing hell yeah when i see a carrot shock a man to
death i know that that shit actually happens. What is philosophy?
Let me give you the code of life.
I'm almost done.
I promise I'm almost done.
Then you all can be let out of the room.
Down, down, left, right.
Please, please.
Carbon plus hydrogen plus oxygen equals alkaline.
This is the arrangement of life.
But everything changed when the acid nation attacked.
That's a very basic understanding of organic chemistry, but okay.
Dr. Sibby goes on to explain.
I just want to ask one question.
Yeah?
Will a lemon kill me or not?
Yes, because it's made out of yellow and the aid in lemonade that's where aids comes from it got started in lemonade so all those kids selling it at the stands the
aids were like hell yeah this is where we're gonna hang out and then it just kind of spread from
there um dr sebi goes on to explain uh with a nice handy little ph chart that goes from 1 to 14 instead of 0 to 14.
Look.
Where 7 is neutral, anything to the left of that says acid equals disease equals death.
And then anything to the right says alkaline equals health equals life.
It's so simple.
Follow this chart.
Eat bleach.
Get healthy. And as our document provider Tipsy Almond points out,
is that lye is apparently healthy and starch destroys your body
and causes prostate cancer.
I'm not hearing anything otherwise.
It's true.
John Toast.
Yes.
Tell me a little bit about anemia.
Anemia. Yeah. Okay. That's on toast yes tell me a little bit about anemia anemia yeah okay that's on page nine well okay um since you asked so nicely let me uh back up a bit and tell you all about anemia
there are many types of anemias there is general an anemia, sickle cell anemia, thalassemia, leukemia, and hypoglycemia.
Sickle cell anemia is the extreme deprivation of iron fluoride.
Hypothermia and...
Those are all anemias.
Boogie woogie fever and dance till you drop blues.
All of them caused by anemia.
The metal flu. Which causes up. Caused by anemia. The metal
flu. Which causes up to 20
different diseases to manifest.
Sickle cell anemia develops when
the blood plasma has been
deprived
of iron fluorine and has also
been invaded by mucus, blood, starch,
and dairy.
That's in a parenthesis, so I guess that's what mucus is
made of?
That's what comes out of the cow's udders, yes. The blood, starch, and dairy. Huh? And that's in a parenthesis, so I guess that's what mucus is made out of? That's what comes out of the cow's udders, yes.
The blood starch in dairy.
That's what blood, sweat, and tears is touring as
now.
Or is that what plasma is made out of?
So that's what was in the bag when I was
donating plasma? I could have just poured
some milk in there and tossed in some
starch.
Could have made a cool $20 each time.
Wouldn't even have to get in the seat.
Because of this, the
blood plasma breaks down into a sickle,
allowing oxygen and iron to escape.
Yeah.
I wish I had Victor here.
The patient then becomes weak and will lack a great
deal of energy. They will also suffer
from a secondary disease called thalassemia.
In the case of leukemia, the blood is very acid acid it will eat the cell from its core and it will kill you
quicker than sickle cell anemia you can heal yourself of all anemias including diabetes
by consuming a large amounts of iron fluorine and fasting fasting is a great way to heal the
entire body alongside four liters of spring water per day and sea moss, also known as Irish moss.
Cool.
You sit next to it?
Well, it helps you throw it all into a cauldron and change the spell.
Oh.
Sebi, Sebi.
Just can't shit that while you're stirring.
Doctor, Dr. Sebi, Dr. Sebi.
Yes, Dr. Seve, Dr. Seve. Yes, yes. Look, I'm starving and I don't know what to eat.
And apparently I have my cupboards are full of ramen,
which I have been told is like poison.
So I need you to tell me what to eat.
Well, that ramen does have starch, which is AIDS.
So I'm glad you came to me.
Let me give you some ingredients.
I fucking knew it.
I told you, I'm telling you right now.
Now you know.
Sorry, Stog, that was a prank on my part.
Stog, here's some things you can eat instead, okay? Don't worry.
First, you can eat dandelion
greens. They're rich in iron, can be cooked
or blended into a shake and added to a raw meal.
Okay.
Dr. Sebi, if I find some
by the road,
can I have those?
You should eat that right off the road, actually.
That's the best way to have them.
Should I definitely cook it before I add it to a raw meal?
Yes.
Keep the meal raw, but cook the dandelion greens.
You should next eat elderberries, they're rich in iron.
Prepare it as a tea or blend it into a shake or add it to a raw meal.
But I like younger berries.
The elderberries are wiser. They know to keep the
cancer away. The cancer
tries to sneak
its way in. It says no.
And the next thing, I don't know
if this is a real thing or not, but I'm going to assume it is
because I like saying it. You should
eat Kalaloo.
Kalaloo.
Again, that's kalaloo.
It's rich in iron.
Yeah, Bored, I find it.
I don't know. I just like saying it.
Can be cooked or blended into a shake or
added to a raw meal.
Ah, yeah.
And this is what I am.
You can also get the
soursop leaf or fruit.
I'm a sad fruit.
Who are you calling a Soursop fruit?
It's rich in iron.
What other plants could we consume?
Just going down the list.
We got sarsaparilla, blended tea, here's the shake.
We got fonio.
It is a grain.
Use it as a rice replacement.
Red clover, prepared as a tea.
Burdock root, prepared as a tea.
And yellow dock, prepared as a tea.dock Root, prepared as a tea and Yellow Dock, prepared as a tea
Wow, lots of great tea ideas
Great, and now anemia is cured
Yeah, no more anemia
Anemia go away
Pick up anemia, toss into the ocean
It's time to shut down the ice crunching site
This is a completely uninteresting fact
but Callaloo is a dish, not a food
It's a natural dish that grew out of the ground ready for you uninteresting fact, but callaloo is a dish, not a food. Oh.
It's a natural dish that grew out of the ground ready for you.
It comes with some plate.
It's a Caribbean vegetable dish that could be made of
various different vegetables.
Including dandelions?
It could be spinach.
It could be amaranth.
It could be taro, which I believe
is very starch heavy. Oh, it could be amaranth, it could be taro, which I believe is very starch heavy.
Yeah.
Oh, it's full of mucus.
So it's basically like a type of salad, which according to Dr. Sebi, can be cooked.
Like a creamed spinach, actually.
Okay, okay, fair enough.
Don't confuse it with the film Cat by Lou.
You can't eat that.
It's not edible.
You can't eat film, no matter how hard you try. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with the film. Don't confuse it with It's not edible. You can't eat film, no matter how hard you try.
Don't confuse me with you.
Don't try you.
Get the fuck out with that shit.
I've eaten so many movies over the course of my life.
Don't even bullshit me.
Hey, Adam Bozarth, everyone's friend on the internet.
Yes.
Can you tell me how is AIDS developed?
How is AIDS developed?
How is AIDS developed?
Iron-rich foods and herbs.
Sarsaparilla, sarsaparilla, guaco,
gredlover, it goes on.
Purslane, elderberries,
contribo, and ombragandre.
Ombragandre, sorry.
Cocomica bark.
So many fun words to say.
Maya, callaloo.
Cocomica.
Big fan of Governor Dora.
Oh, what was I saying?
People develop AIDS. Ac develop acquired immune deficiency syndrome because they have muquas in their skin, blood, and lymphatic system.
Muquas.
Muquas.
Which make up the immunological system The mucus is formed by ingesting flesh, dairy, starch-based foods, and toxic chemicals in the form of hair products
Stop eating body creams
Stop eating potato man with big hair
Food, etc
Yeah, you know that, you know that, you know that, you know when it's late at night and you're drunk and you just feel like having a whole bunch of shampoo.
You're just like, yeah, and you just open the bottle and you just swallow it all.
You can blend it into a shake or put it into a raw meal.
Who amongst us hasn't gone through an emotional period and not chugged the conditioner in the shower?
Who among us hasn't practiced some self-care by dipping a
whole block of cheese into some LA Looks hair gel
and eating it?
If you think about it,
shampoo is very mucus-like.
Ah, good point.
Maybe it's a consistency
thing. Yeah, my mucus also
smells like honey and lavender, so I can see
the connection there.
Research shows that there is only one disease.
Muquas.
That's a legitimate spelling of mucus.
Mucus?
It's also a legitimate spelling of muqua.
Yeah, so.
Mucus.
Maybe it's a U.S. versus, like, rest of the world thing.
Oh, here comes boots.
If a good word's got a U in it, it's all right.
You can put words, U's and words all the time.
It's not a U, it's a whatever.
This is an O in a word where it shouldn't be.
Mucus.
Mucus.
I retract my...
There's only one disease, and it is mucus.
Can we pronounce it mu-coo?
Mu-coo?
Mu-coo.
Mu-coo.
That is the germ in your body causing dis ease get rid of the germ and you
become cured wait i thought the germ i thought the germ lived in the muco germs need to grow
out of your body and then you germless and if you take away yeah if you take away the soil the
plants simply cannot grow and will die muco is the soil that germs use to grow and if you take away the soil, the plants simply cannot grow and will die. Muco is the soil that germs use to grow.
And if you get rid of all the excess muco in your body, then these diseases have nowhere to grow.
To relieve yourself of AIDS, you must remove, and this is not the acronym AIDS, just capital A-I-D-S.
You must remove the muco by changing it.
It's the people that want to help you. by changing your diet. I want to help you.
Nope, have my mucus.
Goodbye.
Change your diet to the alkaline diet
and drinking three liters of
spring water per day.
You must also ingest sea moss
daily, yes.
Also known as Irish moss.
One word, capital Irish moss.
And you will also, it will also help to shrink the fibroids.
It contains 92 of the 102 minerals of which the body is made.
It can be used for the bones, the brain, muscles, thyroid, glands, bad breath,
pulmonary respiratory illnesses,
coughs, dysentery,
natural diuretic,
calms the appetite,
and dissolves fat.
It also regulates the bowels,
ulcers, skin, kidneys,
heart, and obesity.
I'm glad that Dr. Sebi is telling me how to get rid of my fucking bones.
I've had enough problems with these goddamn things.
Bones have had to do good for too long.
Get the fuck out.
You're gonna melt the bones and the fats.
You're just gonna be a muscle man.
Iron-rich foods and herbs
should be consumed daily.
Also have a few listed above.
Iron is the spark plug of the human body.
It is the mineral that conveys oxygen to the body and brain.
When you are deficient in iron,
you are susceptible to a whole bunch of diseases.
Just a whole mess of them.
A fucking slew.
Just a whole grip of them. A gaggle of AIDS.
Just coming for you.
I mean.
Just an ass load.
Without the iron, without iron, the body loses energy.
So the immune system and the lymphatic system begins to give way, making room for disease.
Thank you. No disease. Thank you.
No problem.
Thank you. So, eat more iron so you don't have
mucus? Yes.
Okay, got it. Mucu.
Mucu, I'm sorry. Yucu.
Which is how we're deciding to
pronounce this totally
normal word, yes.
This normal word that is not pronounced
that way.
Sounds like someone's got some mucus in their brain.
We're going to have to... Yes, because as we established, it's the second U
in mucus which is the problem, which Boots
is insisting on. You know, that's the wrong part of that.
Clearly. I don't know about the rest
of you, but I'm making mucus bucks.
Oh.
Stog, go fuck yourself.
Stog's been reading extremely hard dandelion extract or whatever the fuck it is we're reading about.
Portex.
Yeah.
I want you to tell me a little bit about women's health.
Why the fuck would I know about that?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Scroll down to page 14.
Dr. Portexax please tell me
about menopause all right well first thing you gotta know about menopause is uh there is no such
thing as menopause oh shit yep it's not yeah it's a fake goodness just like the loch ness
fucking monster and then a lengthy slightly different list of iron-rich foods and herbs?
Yeah, watercress, though, helps with your menopausal system.
So there's a diagram of the female reproductive system.
And what's the subtitle under the ovary?
The ova are inside.
They're there.
Just can't see them.
Thank you.
Yeah.
No problem.
So, if I get rid of my mucus,
if I get rid of my mucus,
will I be able to have a child
into my late 70s and 80s?
Well, what happens is at that point,
the uterus kind of crams itself into your skull region,
and then the ovaries start sticking out of your ears, and then they twirl enough and you fly away to God,
who will send a stork to your house and give you all the babies you want.
Okay, but no menopause, though, right?
But no menopause, no, because it doesn't exist.
Wow.
That part's silly.
Babies will be made entirely of iron.
That's right.
You'll give birth to robots, if you follow my advice.
This is how
This is a prequel to Iron Giant
Super
So
When a woman ingests starch-based foods
Meat and dairy
Over time, her fallopian tubes become clogged
With mucus
Sorry, no, it's mucus this time
We spelled it wrong right this time
Not right wrong
Preventing the ovum from being released from her ovaries Menopause Sorry, no, it's mucus this time. No mooku. We spelled it wrong right this time. Not right wrong.
Preventing the ovum from being released from her ovaries.
Menopause.
Just as a sentence by itself.
Menopause.
This menopause here is what I'm talking about.
It's just its own sentence because when he's saying this in person, that's when everybody goes, oh.
It's the weirdest.
It's the one time that menopause ends with a period It's a word joke
And it's a bye
Goodbye everybody
Hang on, we'll snog in the box
A woman has 40,000 ova in her ovaries
If she only releases 6 ova
And a train leaving from Chicago
Wait, why is If she only releases six OVA and a train leaving from Chicago gets... Wait, why is...
If she only releases six OVA from each OVA each year, they alternate monthly.
How does she then run out of OVA?
Anyone?
6,000 years.
That's how she runs out.
6,000 years is how she runs out 6,000 years is how she runs out with this information in mind
by the time a woman approaches 80
she would have stopped releasing ova
oh sorry
she would have only released 480
leaving her with
39,520 ova
to the fucking dot
no more no less
as you can see
the doctors, just the one doctors didn't tell
our sisters why they stopped releasing ova they just labeled it as menopause now to relieve
yourself of menopause that doesn't exist what capital m yeah capital m yeah okay maybe it's
the lower case doesn't exist uppercase does you must change your diet to the alkaline diet and drink three
liters of spring water per day.
In the mouth?
Or does it go into your area?
What are we doing here?
Right into the fallopian tubes.
Right into the fallopian tubes. That's where all the water
goes. And live the woman's
dream of menstruating eternally.
All day, every day.
Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.
Everyone loves it.
You love it.
Every, yeah.
You must also ingest sea moss daily, also known as Irish moss or, you know, Irishish moss, irish mose. It will help to dissolve the mucus in the fallopian tubes.
Sea moss contains 92 of the 102 minerals which the body has made.
It can be used for the bones, brain, muscles, thyroid, glands, bad breath, pulmonary and respiratory illnesses, coughs, dysentery, natural diuretic, calms the appetite, dissolves fat, all problems that the uterus has.
What is happening?
There's a...
Sorry, I'm recording a local commercial
while this is going on.
Sorry, the intern has stepped into a club.
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
Sorry, the menopause
soul train busted into the entrance.
Why is... Intern, why are you listening to Hooked on a Feeling?
Yeah, what is happening?
So, there's a dancing baby taunting me about my...
I'm listening.
What did you say?
This is an Ally McBeal reference.
Nobody understands me.
Oh, with the... The dancing baby Oh, with the dancing baby.
Is it the dancing baby?
This is where all the Ally McBeal
heads out there.
Ally McBeal fandom, step the
fuck up.
That's that Venn diagram of the
F plus and Ally McBeal. All of you
in the fucking center, give us
your best Ally McBeal fan art.
Next time you can just
save the Ooga Chakas yourself.
They gotta bring that show back.
It's time.
It's time.
If Apple TV does it, yeah.
Yeah, that baby's gotta be
old enough to
work at a law firm now.
That's CGI baby.
Oh my god, it's still CGI
god we are making such a good show right now
yeah
the CGI baby now wears a hat and a tie
and it carries a briefcase
but it still dances
that's like it's idle
it just does that for everything
yeah it has it's own office
and that's where it dances
yeah yeah
what do you think
it doesn't check it's email it has its own office and that's where it dances. What do you think, Ally McBeal's baby?
It has the exact
same model detail as the original
but it's in super 4K high quality
detail as well.
But now it dabs at the end.
4K dancing
baby. Can we cast the voice?
Can I pitch Michael Shannon
as the dancer?
Sure. As the dabbing baby of Ally McBeal?
Yeah.
I am dancing.
Anyone who's listening,
just know that the rest of this fucking spiel
is copy and pasted exactly from the last fucking thing.
So don't fucking worry.
You ain't missing a goddamn thing.
Anyway, back to Ally McBeal, baby.
Our brains are full of mucus and this is all we can think of.
I had a lot of meat and dairy before the episode.
You know, we would have gone on this digression if we had eaten some sea moss,
which is also known as Irish moss.
What about moss beds?
No.
Did you know that sea moss contains 92 of the 102 minerals
In which the body is made
And can be used for the bones, brain, muscles
Wow
Did you guys know that rice is toxic like eating plastic
Oh tell us more though
Tell us more
Rice was made in Holland
Rice was made in Holland
Fucking Holland
It is just a brand
Like Nike, Dyson,
Samsung, Rolex, etc.
It is a hybrid food
made by man. Therefore,
someone is making a profit
from our lack of knowledge. It shouldn't
be called food.
Wow. It's a fucking staple.
Is it literally a staple? Is that what's going on here yes rice in its raw
form looks and feels like plastic because it is oh my god like the other stuff we've read had this
like at least thin veneer of being like a scientific like a medical thing but this is
just so personally hateful of rice i I love it. It even returns back
to plastic when you leave it out
for a long period of time.
It's plastic and it turns back into plastic?
It becomes ultra-plastic.
It's plastic with impastic.
It turns into food very briefly
and then it turns back into plastic.
That's what it does in your body.
Rice contains cyanide
and high levels of starch. It's arsenic does in your body. Rice contains cyanide and high levels of starch.
It's arsenic, you fucking asshole.
No, it's a cyanide right there.
Are you a doctor?
I guess this is another American-Canadian spelling thing.
Starch is a chemical that the body converts into carbonic acid when it's consumed.
converts into carbonic acid when it's consumed it burns and destroys cells weakening the muqua and membrane in which is your entire body entire body is mucus
membrane and we're supposed to get rid of it so
that's how it melts the fat because if your whole body is mucus and it melts mucus
it does take care of your bones and anything
that is a bone. And if you don't
get rid of the mucus, you become insane
in your membrane.
We all
snot people tonight.
All types of rice,
with the exception of wild
rice, is hybrid.
I thought they were going to say, like, rice-a-roni.
Or perhaps Jerry Rice.
Jerry rice. Jerry rice.
Replace your consumption of rice with the grains below.
They are alkaline electric food.
When you boil wild rice or any alkaline grain in a glass pot,
you will see that they bounce and jump around inside the boiling water. Why?
Trying to escape. Just like plastic.
Because they contain carbon,
hydrogen, and oxygen.
It's because the water gets agitated and they're small.
No, it's because the rice gets angry
and wishes to escape to avenge
its fallen brethren.
But when you cook any other rice,
it just sits at the bottom of the pot
and doesn't move.
It's dead.
Plastic has no life.
Uncle Ben, no necromancer.
Only nature can create food that contains life.
Man cannot play Mother Nature's role.
We have listed a few things that grains can help you with, but they have many more benefits.
So do your research.
Eat to live, not to die.
I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
Yeah, dummy.
Hey, I want to tell you about tofu.
So I got a little infographic here.
Soybeans equals soy milk equals tofu equals plastics.
Oh, yep.
Says that right there.
Yep.
Yep.
Tofu is hardened soy milk
that is made from soybeans.
Soybeans has an acid base
of 4.0 pH,
making it harmful.
When you eat soybeans,
it creates a reaction
that produces sulfides
in the body,
robbing you of your moisture
and oxygen.
No, not my moisture. I need that.
Give it up.
Don't look at me.
Just give up the moisture, see? And nobody gets hurt.
Just squeezing myself like a dish sponge.
Yeah, more moisture.
Soybean is an incomplete molecular structure,
meaning it has no place in your biological
structure. What?
Why?
Because there is nothing in your body that resembles the soybean.
Excuse you.
All those ovals look just like soybeans.
Excuse me.
My nipples are like soybeans.
Does that count, sir?
It cannot assimilate with you.
Excuse me, sir.
My biceps are giant edamame pods, and I will not have you disparage me that way.
Excuse me, sir.
I have astigmatism, and my eyes look exactly like soybeans.
Good.
Good.
The human body is made of...
Sorry, I pondered that for a second
the human body is made up of 102
minerals and soybeans do not
contain any because they are
made using starch
oh god
starch is a chemical binder
to tie to
to tie to unequal
to tie to unequal chemicals, you have
to use starch. The body converts
starch into carbonic acid, which
contains cyanide.
No, that's a poison. It also contains
inorganic silica.
Oh no, they put that in a beef jerky.
Oh, you mean those packets
I eat? Like the same silica?
Yeah, they put that in your video card box.
Damn.
It's a desiccant.
I thought that was a treat.
A free treat for purchasing a video card.
It is, Scott.
Desiccant.
It would explain a few things.
Can someone say desiccant one more time?
Desiccant.
Desiccant.
Desiccant.
One more time.
Desiccant.
Desiccant.
Desiccant.
Soybeans were made during the year of 1825 by Gregor Mendel.
Okay.
The composer?
Yes, the composer.
Yeah, the composer.
He invented fruit flies.
Then used his agricultural genius to make ink, rubber, glue, plastic henry ford's cars okay okay he made cars awesome good job this guy's the amy lee of food he's like he's like
nine-year-old me who like didn't read the book for a book report.
And then George R. R. Carver made stuff for Henry Ford.
He made cars for him.
Soy is now used in almost everything we love to eat,
from chocolates, cereal, infant formula, and even meat produce.
I do love to eat meat.
Meat produce. I do love to eat meat. Meat produce.
Does he mean like impossible burgers
or just some insane thing that I don't even think of?
I mean, I think he is talking about
literal impossible burgers.
Fair enough.
I mean, I'm not taking this guy's side,
but soy is in cheap hamburgers.
They just plump it up.
Okay. That's fair.
I'm still pondering the term
meat produce.
It's an interesting way to put it.
Hello, eat me lettuce cow. Eat me up. Yum yum.
Yum yum.
I'd love a meat lettuce cow.
And crunchy.
It is a hybrid artificial
inorganic substance that was made in a laboratory in England.
Sure.
It is not a form of nutrition, nor is it indigenous to Earth.
So it means they're aliens.
Yeah, they were invented in England.
Right.
Alien plants.
Aliens were invented in England, yes.
Hey, Heelys, what's up?
Can I tell you about the best potato?
What is the meaning of best potato?
I'd love to hear about the best potato.
Hey, so the best potato to eat is the red rose.
This potato is only one generation down from the original found in Lake Titicaca, Peru.
Tell me where Bob can.
That is where the Irish people became
acquainted with it and took it back to Ireland.
Okay.
Remember the Irish people were one of the
first people to go to Peru?
Those are the people with the really good moss, right?
Yeah.
They also know to see moss.
Then they took the potato back
to Ireland and started hybridizing it.
This gave birth to all different hybrids of potato you find today, which should be avoided because of the starch they contain.
Now hold on!
Starch is a chemical, not a food. That's my book report. Thank you.
Excuse me, you can't just talk of Ireland like that and say that all the potatoes except for the Red Rose are bad.
What the hell do you think the Irish survived on?
Huh?
Look, Stog, Stog, calm down.
You know, just listen to his point.
You should eat the potato that doesn't have starch in it.
Yeah, it's the best potato.
But they all have starch.
No, the Red Rose doesn't because starch is a chemical, not a food.
It doesn't because it's made out of battery robot fun
I believe it
when you pour the chemicals into the top of that potato
it leaks anti-cancer
which fights the AIDS with big boxing gloves
until it punches it out of your body
can I tell you guys about
can I tell you guys about pigs
yeah I want to hear about pigs
alright well
if you love life why do you consume death holy shit because I want to hear about pigs. All right. Well, if you love life, why do you consume death?
Holy shit.
Because I want to be alive.
The pig is a non-natural animal like the mule.
It is the crossbred between a dog, cat, and rat.
Whoa.
What?
Cool.
That's the craziest thing ever said on this podcast.
Hold on.
I'm not done yet.
Oh my god.
It is nothing
but a mass
of small worms the naked
eye cannot detect
and contains no nutrition.
Absolutely true.
Look, I've had dog bacon before and it tastes similar, so I'm not going to deny it.
When these worms are digested into your system, they cause a high birth rate to hundreds of new worms called larvae,
which travels the bloodstream of your system and eats your brain.
This is turning into ill bleed.
It is ill bleed.
What? These worms even enter
your lungs and spinal
fluid. They cause
muscular aches.
Fever and
many other symptoms of sickness.
The worms have an
amazing ability to go undetected
in your system for many years
the worms slept with my wife
the worms are also tiny pigs
that's what bacon is actually
she won't admit it but she's been with the worms
it causes prostate
problems in men
and vaginal discharge in women
the worms logged onto
my Facebook and posted mean things.
I didn't write any of them.
Stop emailing my wife.
If a pig is hungry
enough, it will eat anything you put in front
of it, including dead human bodies
and even their own dead children.
The end.
Hey, that
sounds really depressing.
Let me tell you about something that rocks, though.
What's that?
Why we need to eat electric foods.
Good.
All right.
Yeah.
Why?
Why?
Well, you can't eat...
If you try sticking...
For example, if you try sticking an electric fork in a power socket and you try to eat that, it's going to electrocute you because it's too powerful.
But here are some food.
Let me tell you about electric foods.
Electric foods are alkaline foods which help the body to heal and nourish itself.
Alkaline foods have a pH of 7.0 and above okay okay okay so get this electric foods are found
in nature uh they are not hybrid from the power line trees i've heard so much about
yeah those grow out of this those grow out of the out of the ground real quick. Genetically modified, and they are non-irradiated.
Oh, okay.
So they're either solar or coal-powered.
No, no, not solar, not solar.
Solar is where the radiation comes from.
You don't want that.
Okay, so they're probably coal-powered?
That's carbon.
Wait, we want carbon, right?
Yeah, you want carbon.
You don't want the radiation.
You want the carbon.
You want to just rub some coal all over your crops.
That'll teach them.
What about electric foods found in Chernobyl?
I wouldn't try those.
Well, then they're not electric
yeah those are not electric
it's already been defined here
electric foods are non-irradiated
got it
if electric foods become irradiated
they instantly cease
being foods and become mucus
yeah
listen
let me tell you about chickens, though.
Chicken is a hybrid food.
Man-made
slash crossbred.
Made with starch
and worms.
No, it has a release date
just like a new album.
Oh, wow.
Actually, smartass.
Oh, man.
When's the new chicken
gonna drop?
Did you guys hear the new chicken is king?
It's better than you think, actually.
They do not occur naturally.
They are grafted by people and can only be grown by people.
They plant the chicken trees every year.
It causes mineral deficiency and bone loss.
We consume 16 million chickens per week.
And that was a quote by Fact, according to this.
One of my favorite quotes.
Hello, I'm Fact.
Hey, yo, I got a fact about broccoli here.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, broccoli.
Broccoli has no nutritional value.
God damn it.
It's like shredding paper goes through one end
and out the other.
Well, that's pretty good.
That, you know, cleans you out.
Fiber and stuff.
Yeah, my mom was shredding paper, too.
Can I ask you guys how many chickens y'all eat a week?
Because I don't think I eat 16 million.
I'm going to say 10 million.
I'm on the low end.
I'm trying to go vegan,
so I'm only at 12.
It's average.
Most of us eat maybe three or four
probably, right? And one guy eats
a couple billion.
Gornthoth, the destroyer,
has to be fed millions of chickens
every day. The 1%, am I right?
Yeah.
Inhale chicken.
Toast.
Yes.
Overstand 2019 and beyond.
Overstand 2019 and beyond.
Yeah, please.
Yes.
For 2019, stop fucking lying.
This year must have shown you
where lies get you.
No.
Again, you can't control shit
except yourself.
So stop complaining
about how people
did you wrong
for fuck's sake.
Your reaction tells you
more about you
than the person
you are angry with.
Stop trying to save people.
They are supposed
to save themselves.
If they need help,
you will know it.
Stop having sex
with people.
Spiritual parasites are real.
Your body is all you have.
Fuck that up, and I bet you will seek value in everything or everyone else except yourself.
Try to stop eating garbage.
Dr. Zedby already gave us the blueprint.
Stop deceiving people for your own benefit.
The universe is watching you, and it will never turn out the way you want.
Your attention is more important than the action.
Be fucking grateful.
You're over there crying for money and material things.
Well, hope you don't lose your eyesight, your arms and legs.
Maybe then you'll shut the fuck up and stop complaining about what you don't have
and start focusing on appreciating what you do have.
When you start something, finish it.
Procrastination is a lazy person's kryptonite
because our worst enemy is idle time.
Stop looking for a man or a woman. That special person
will show up while you're doing you.
When you go fishing, you don't look for
fish, you attract the fish.
It's a hybrid food made out of starch.
But are you the right bait,
though?
Nothing
forced...
This isn't Dr. Sebi speaking.
It's the person running Dr. Sebi's
Instagram.
Oh, okay.
Nothing forced
ever works out.
In the name of the universe, laugh and smile.
It's medicine. Positive thinking produces
positive things. Sounds crazy.
Yeah, stop.
Start fucking laughing and fucking smiling.
Sounds crazy, but the universe works mentally.
Try it for a week.
Learn how to say, sorry, I was wrong.
Please and thank you.
It helps you more than the recipient.
Drop people random messages saying, hey, you good?
How are things?
I feel like this character I'm doing doesn't really fit in the direction it's going now.
I'm going to stick with it.
If you miss them or love them, tell them.
Stop doing or saying things that you wouldn't want your sons or daughters doing or saying.
Learn to let go of the past.
It can't be fucking changed.
Gosh.
And why are you all so focused on the future if you can't even predict what will happen in the next hour?
Be real.
Live and let live.
Every time you decide not to do what you know is right, you stay the same.
Don't you want to grow?
Ignorance is a seed that hates soil.
This one here is serious.
Tell the truth and make them cry or tell a lie and make them smile.
It's entirely up to you.
Remember, the only person you cannot lie to is yourself.
And you damage your soul slash spirit every time you lie to yourself.
Another thing.
If you honestly believe everything is in divine order, then why do you question the order?
Do what you love and speak on how you feel as soon as you feel it, but say it with compassion, not anger.
Trust me.
The truth will not set you free.
It can make you free.
Most of us know the truth, but who's brave enough to use it?
You are number one.
Attachment is the root to self-destruction because it proves that you cannot live without what you are attached to.
Let go as easily as you become attached.
Love is freedom to express yourself. Nothing lasts forever. The world won't be the same without you. No one without what you are attached to. Let go as easily as you become attached. Love is freedom to express yourself.
Nothing lasts forever.
The world won't be the same without you.
No one can love you more than you.
Keep growing.
Forget labels.
You are not weak.
You are not strong.
You are you.
Absolutely unique unlike no other.
We wish you nothing but knowledge, wisdom, overstanding, freedom, justice, equality,
food, clothing, shelter, love, peace, and happiness.
OVS over sand.
Wow.
I feel like I'm pressured to buy a $20
pair of slacks
now. Thanks. Thanks, Instagram.
Is that what I was doing?
I don't know. Slacks? Yeah.
I mean, I'll believe it.
I guess I'll also buy slacks.
Yeah, give me those slacks. I won't buy
slacks made of celery, though, because
celery is man-made and has the highest
concentration of inorganic salt.
We recommend not using it under any circumstances.
That way, I would assume, including wearing it as pants.
Guys, I want to give you the top nine leading causes of disease.
Okay.
Cool.
In order of what?
Okay, David.
In order of what?
Are they all mucus?
This is from our head office from the Dr. Sebi Institute in Piscataway, New Jersey.
This is the order of what causes the most disease.
Number one, negative suppressed emotions.
Number two, vaccines.
Ah, yeah.
Number three, antibiotics.
What, what?
Yes.
Number four, acid-forming diet.
All meats, poultry, dairy, and most oils.
Of course, yeah.
Five, heavy metals such as lead and mercury and other toxic metals used in dental amalgam fillings.
What?
That costs us eight?
Oil is a acid.
Yes.
Most oils are acid-forming diet.
Gotcha.
Number six, lack of enough water.
Number seven, processed foods.
Number eight, chlorine or fluoride in water.
And number nine, chemicals in food, such as pesticides, insecticides, herbicide, etc.
All right, so I shouldn't be drinking out of the swimming pool in my backyard then.
No, don't drink that.
I thought it was good water. I thought it was clean
because it has all that chlorine in it.
Do you guys want to do some drugs?
Yeah.
I love drugs.
Well, too bad.
Too bad because drugs are extracted
or synthetic matter.
They're toxic and acidic material to the body.
Causes extreme deficiency and addiction are concentrated doses of a single substance matter.
Sugar from beets or cocaine from cacao.
Synthetic or extracted vitamins, nutrients, cocaine, heroin,
purple pill sugar, white flour,
white rice, white corn.
Okay. I see.
That's right.
Oh, we got some cocaine.
That's right, kids. White flour,
white rice, white corn.
Don't do them. All
prescription drugs.
Just say no cartoon. up against fucking corn.
Vaseline and petroleum jelly,
which are the same thing.
MSG, a type of salt,
and long chemical compound names.
Yeah, I was leaving my apartment
to go to work this morning and I saw
a guy in the corner just like
heating up a can of green
beans on the corner. He was just
like holding
a lighter underneath an entire can of
green beans and he was just saying,
can't wait to get high off of this.
Yeah, that's a...
Hey, F+, definitely mentioned that.
Hey, F+.
What is mucus?
This is not a question.
This is not a question.
What is mucus?
Mucus is what makes us sick.
It was created inside of us
when we consume genetically modified and hybrid foods,
such as starch with a capital S.
Starch, which turns into carbonic acid when consumed.
It causes the liver to harden and it creates tumors, cancer, hemorrhoids,
and stones in the gallbladder and the kidneys.
Sugar, which attacks the teeth, pancreas, kidneys, and the brain.
It also causes constipation and neurotic behavior.
Dairy, which causes high blood pressure and cholesterol,
clogging our arteries and causing poor blood circulation which causes ulcers and cancer in the intestinal tract and stomach
the body converts meat into uric acid uh wow
yeah uric acid which attacks the muscle of the body,
causing poor circulation, high blood pressure, and heart attacks.
These foods age us like milk instead of wine.
What?
They turn into a gooey substance, mucus,
that travels throughout our entire system
after they are broken down by our digestive system.
Whatever we eat, our body will
try to turn into blood, but unnatural
foods and flesh cannot be converted into blood,
so the body will convert it into mucus.
Look, hamburger
can become blood, hamburger can become
mucus.
It's your choice.
We can be aged into either wine or cheese.
And those are the two options.
That's what happens when you become unhealthy
is your head turns into a giant cheese wedge
with a slice cut out of it.
Suit the lore.
It's true.
It's true.
Look it up.
Our blood should flow through our veins like water,
not like mud.
The mucus covers our organs
and it does not allow oxygen to reach
them. Scientifically, it has been
proven that the human body can live 100
days without food and 15 days without
water, but cannot survive 5 minutes
without oxygen.
It has been proven.
Scientifically.
This is irrefutable.
See, this is why you're still
an intern.
Go read the science.
Get with the program.
Do your research.
I feel like this work-study program has been going on for quite a while.
Are you doing okay in school?
You know, the economy.
Fair enough.
Also, I'm doing terribly in school? You know, the economy. Fair enough. Also, I'm doing terribly in school.
Doesn't help.
Fruits, vegetables,
natural grains, and plants from the sea are
alkaline. They possess all the minerals
and nutrients we need because they are made by
nature, not man.
These foods help us stay stronger and healthier,
making us more resistant to disease
our level of vibration and overstanding increases over overstanding that's this is a word that just
keeps showing up now so i've heard that before it's sort of like a rastafarian um way to like
re-rechange the language so it's not like they don't call people oppressors,
they call them downpressors, you know?
And so it's not an understanding, it's an overstanding.
That's sort of where I heard it before, but who knows where they're taking it from.
Creating calmness and balance within our body.
Hidden facts on health and nutrition.
Eat to live, not to die.
Hey, Portex, could you start reading something
that might be a press release and
might be a correspondence and I have
no idea what it is?
We lost Portex.
Sorry, I said
I can do that. I've been doing that all my life.
I was born ready to do all that.
Yeah, I became covered in mucus.
I look like a Dragon Quest slime butt green.
Where are we reading? Which thing are we reading?
So it's the part that starts,
Important note for those beginning.
On page 41.
Important note for...
Okay.
Important note for those beginning or interested in the Usha Fig Tree Enterprise's intracellular cleansing program.
Please be advised that purchasing the Fig Tree's electric cell food products is a recommendation for reversing severe nutritional deficiency,
and imbalance of the body is merely a general recommendation.
It is not our suggestion
that our electric cell food products cure severe imbalance conditions neither do we make claims
that the fig trees electric cell food products in any way are used to are used in place of medical
advice from a licensed medical professional nor are they to be used in place of medications
prescribed by a physician i see see. Oh, boy.
This sort of contradicts a lot of this other language.
No, that's fine.
The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated statements made about specific supplements,
nor does the Food and Drug Administration recognize any nutritional supplement to be used as a cure for any condition.
Not even
AIDS and...
You mean
all of them? The mucus
germs?
You need iron, or
otherwise you'll turn into a pile of mucus which contains
all the AIDS. FDA,
please don't sue us, thanks.
Yeah. Nah, it's fine.
Just drink some grape juice that'll cure cancer whatever i
guess it's just like how alex jones is an entertainment program at summit yeah exactly
nutritional herbal mineral and electric food cell food products supplementation can be beneficial
in certain health circumstances but on every circumstance before you see any nutritional
supplement as strong as advice that you seek the guidance of a licensed healthcare professional to help you in choosing any supplementation program.
The fig tree's electric food, cell food, suggestions for conditions such as AIDS, HIV, plus paralysis, cancers, and certain other imbalances are not to be considered cures.
Even though that's exactly what he fucking said this whole fucking time.
Are possible remedies for these conditions morale or supplements that may
possibly enhance the quality of life by helping the immune and or nervous
system.
I'm imagining the kind of doctor that would see this entire diet and think,
Oh yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Go for it.
Go for it.
It's,
it's probably going to cure everything you got.
It's probably going to make you like some sort of a superhuman person, I guess.
So go ahead.
I'm not really sure what the diet is.
Like I know what it's not, and it's a lot of things like celery and broccoli
and garlic and meat.
A lot of those are right out.
Yeah, no, just eat seaweed.
That's pretty much it, I think.
Oh, that's right.
Just sea moss and water.
Those are spring water.
That's also known as Irish moss.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Hey, Stug.
Yes?
In the middle of page 420, there's a sentence.
Sorry, 420.
420.
All right. Time to light up. the middle of page 420 there's a sentence sorry 420 429
alright time to light up
that's the sex number
in the middle of page 442
yeah 420 is the
sex number
there's a sentence that starts
Dr. Sebi founder of USHA
came to the United States as a 20 year old
could you just start reading
there for me?
Dr. Sebi.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
Dr. Sebi, founder of USHA, came to the United States as a 20-year-old,
self-educated man who was diagnosed with asthma, diabetes, impotency,
and obesity.
After unsuccessful treatments with conventional doctors,
Dr. Sebi was led to a neurologist in Mexico. Finding great healing success from all of his
ailments, he began creating natural compounds from electric herbs and foods geared for
intracellular cleansing and the revitalization of all the cells that make up the human body.
Inspired by his personal healing experience and knowledge he gained,
he developed a unique approach to herbalism that is rooted in over 28 years of field research,
clinical studies of genetics, as well as practical common sense experience.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You want me to continue or?
Yeah, keep going, please.
Oh, okay, okay.
you want me to continue or keep going please oh okay okay uh dr sebi is an intracellular therapist biochemist herbalist and naturalist he is a native of probably still all under the category of
self-educated yeah he is a native of spanish honduras drbi, along with his wife, Ma,
has personally observed, studied, and cataloged herbs in Latin America,
Africa, the Caribbean, and the United States.
As a result, he has successfully created natural compounds from electric herbs and natural foods designed for intracellular cleansing
and the revitalization of all the cells that make up the human body.
Okay.
of all the cells that make up the human body.
Okay.
And so we're now going to move down to,
and I guess I'll take this.
So, you know, getting into sort of talking about,
this is the same published piece of writing as the thing above with the disclaimer
that this doesn't cure anything.
Good.
So we don't.
Yeah, it cures everything.
Yeah.
The chemical compound that is CYA is very strong.
Yeah.
Organic means that iron is in combination with carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.
This is chemistry of life.
Having this type of chemistry, CHO, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen,
enables iron phosphate to assimilate well in the body.
Why?
Because unlike ferrous oxide, which comes directly from the earth,
does not assimilate.
Whereas iron phosphate is derived and extracted from the plant and herb kingdom
and does assimilate because it contains carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.
This organic iron phosphate
is both magnetic and electrical both are essential and important to life the electric nature of iron
makes it important an important nerve and brain food this magnetic quality and nature of iron
makes it attractive to every other organic element. So when you ingest organic iron, you are automatically ingesting many nutrients necessary and critical
for reversal and elimination of disease.
The iron-based herbal compound we produce, such as our Maya products, provides your body
with over 14 key organic carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, plant, and herb-based minerals.
But a human made that.
Oh, goddamn human foods.
No.
Our suite of vegetation cell food products not only contain iron phosphate,
they are derived from electrically charged tropical plants and herbs,
some of which come from tropical Africa, Honduras, the Caribbean,
other Latin American countries, and the United States.
Tropical United States.
Yeah, the tropical, well, yeah.
Okay, and, intern.
Yes.
Uh, start at throughout the years at the middle of page.
It's hard to get pages of this thing.
44.
Ah, throughout the years, the stress pressure of urban living coupled with our own ignorance as we sometimes blindly follow cultural food choices,
attitudes, and tradition that over the long haul,
as urban dwellers,
work contrary to our natural physiological balance
and serve us not.
I'm so confused and sleepy right now reading this paragraph
it's all the milk mucus in your eyes
I'm worried that I'm rewriting
good parts of my brain
but I'll continue
the mucus that commands me to sleep every night
is taking over my brain.
I don't know how much longer I'll last.
This aspect of urban living over time suppresses our body's innate intelligence and forces it to adapt our natural body system functions, quote unquote, unnaturally. Due to the body's self-regulating capabilities, the body
adapts its normal functions to compensate
for the effects of biomineral
deficiency and imbalance that
create inevitable symptoms
and eventually manifest as disease.
Common signs and symptoms
of bioaccumulation
that creates imbalance in the body.
Colon.
Lack of energy and fatigue.
Dull skin tone.
A lack of fatigue.
Yeah, you turn into kumquat.
Skin irritations and sensitivity.
Headaches.
Foggy memory slash concentration.
Flat, dull, iris color.
I learned the Al McBeal.
Hey, Gary,
the blues of your eyes are looking really dull today.
What's going on?
High body,
breath, urine, or soul water.
I'm sorry.
It's a real body high.
No way.
Sometimes you want a heady
high, but sometimes you just want a really nice
sort of body buzz. It's good. Sometimes you want a heady high, but sometimes you just want a really nice body buzz.
It's good.
Sometimes you want a urine high.
Sometimes you want that.
Sometimes that's a thing you want.
Severe nutritional deficiency and mineral imbalance that perpetuates malaise and eventually manifest in a disease or pathology.
I think I have that.
Overeating and or weight gain.
High cholesterol.
Sluggish slash stress nervous system.
Free radical cellular damage.
Like a sluggish nervous system is where you stub your toe and like a week later feel it.
Yeah.
Become slowpoke.
Be radical.
Or when someone's like,
heads up,
and they throw, like,
a newspaper at you
and you miss it.
And they throw a,
it's usually a ball,
a newspaper, though?
I've been enjoying this,
this wild new idea.
You know.
Heads up.
You know how people
get their news?
Heads up, newspaper.
What do you mean,
like, it's on your computer
for the monitor?
No, you get hit by the paper boy every time he does that.
Yeah, when the newsie sells you a paper,
you throw coins at him,
and he throws a paper at you.
Yeah, you whip coins at the paper boy,
and then he whips the paper at you.
If you knock out the paper boy,
you win a free paper. That's how it works.
Yeah,
they were trying to, you know,
sell some more papers at the
other paper boys.
So they had to create competition.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah, the last paper boy standing
claims that turf.
My brain is dead.
I really want to see a paperboy reality contest show.
Me too.
See, we have written five really good shows during the course of this one episode.
What was that?
Oh, the Ally McBeal all grown up baby?
Yeah.
What was that? Oh, the Ally McBeal all grown up baby? Yeah.
The winner of
the Paperboy contest gets to star as
the baby in the Ally McBeal baby
spin-off.
It's a realistic reboot of the Paperboy
arcade game, The Paperboy.
Should I keep reading
these real diseases
that have nothing to do with any
of this bullshit?
I guess not.
I can't keep saying shit.
I can't keep saying heart disease, cancer, strokes,
homicide, accident, diabetes, pneumonia.
I like hormonal imbalance with S in parentheses.
I think you guys skated over homicide.
Not sure how that happened.
Wait, what?
It killed the homicide, you dumbass.
That's the top ten killers in the community.
Oh, top ten killers. Got it, got it.
Sorry, I missed that part.
Well, here's the top nine leading
causes of disease.
I've already done that.
Oh, you did?
Yep.
All of us? The science melted all of our brains.
Okay, plus what do you think we learned today?
Fucking nothing!
We're better than we were before!
We can't even form a sense or have a conversation like regular people anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's not true.
Hey.
I learned, hey, hey, no, no, no.
I learned something here, all right?
Another word for Spanish moss is Irish moss.
Thanks.
Or even sea moss, which Spanish moss isn't a thing.
I'm just going to shut up now.
I like to substitute the Irish moss for Spanish moss.
I want a spicier dish.
Look, what I learned is that homicide is when Starch walks up to you with a knife or a gun and he just kills you.
That's what Starch is.
That is true.
Starch is known to convert knife to gun.
I think I saw that in the Irish Mossman.
I learned that Mookoo is a legitimate spelling of Mookoos.
Ooh, yeah.
Mookoos.
Mookoos. I learned that... Well, I learned that there's only one disease. oh yeah muckus muckus
I learned that
there's only one disease
and it's dis-ease
it's dis-ease
caused by the germ
it's the mucus disease don't get it everybody
at the very top
of this it said that
all diseases are the cause of
a germ and then never went back to that germ.
The germ is the mucus.
The germ is dis-ease.
But the germ lives in the mucus.
That's the whole Primslet sitcom.
Help, my nose is full of germ.
Right, but we never went back to talking about the germ living in the mucus.
Because the mucus is the germ.
No, it is.
Yeah, it is the germ. Oh, the germ.
No, it is the germ,
but it's also the soil in which
the dessert grows. Yeah, it's simultaneous.
Like a plant. And that comes from
a plant that's a hybrid, which is
made of starch and worms.
And pigs, which are
a hybrid of, what
was it, rats? Dogs. That was the biggest surprise. Yes, pigs are a hybrid of, what was it, rats?
Dogs, cats. That was the biggest surprise.
Yes, pigs are hybrids of cats, dogs, and rats, but are also made of worms.
Okay.
And so if you want to see the disease in which our mental disease grows, you should come to Ball Pit.
Yay!
Yay, mental disease! And Portia, I said come to Ball Pet. Yay! Mental disease.
I said you spelled Ball Pet.
Well, first I take out a
pen and I get a piece of paper,
right, and then I open the pen up,
right, and I just kind of pour all the ink
all over it and I sort of smush
the paper together, and then when I open
it up, they call it a Roy Shark text,
but really it's not. It's, you know,
it was invented, you know, five weeks ago by a Roy Shark text, but really it's not. It was invented
five weeks ago by this guy, Fred.
So you look at it long enough and eventually
the letters just kind of form
together into different pools and it will
eventually spell Ball Pit.
I just
used Ball on Pit.
I don't mess with all that stuff.
Yeah, the dots from the ink.
Thanks for listening.
Sorry for my bad jokes.
Bye.
Thanks for sticking with us.
Please try another episode.
That's retroactive for the past 10 years as well.
Don't worry about it.
I've heard a lot about your band.
I've seen your video playing on the TV
Publicity photos in magazines
Oh, none of it makes me feel anything
I would be lying to you
If I did not say something
That would make me feel like a politician?
A middle-of-the-road opinion no one finds offensive or challenging.
I'm not interested.
This ain't just on a pedestal.
And I don't think you're a people-
That'll do.
Pigs.
We're all synchronized, operations
go. Very good.
Would you call me Adam?
You heard me, pig.
Oink, oink.
He just means you're 3D.
Is this cyberbullying?
You 3D pig.
Guys, do we always have to talk about politics?
Let's just hang out. Online harassment can cost
lives. Do we have to do this every time?
God.
3D police disgusting.