The F Plus - 325: Butter Business Bureau

Episode Date: June 27, 2020

The folks over at Bulletproof tried selling coffee with butter in it. And not only did that plan work, but their customers were willing to pay a premium for the experience. So with that lesson learned they expanded the product line: Protein bars, tinctures, vibrating platforms, books, computers with pre-installed software. These are products designed to reverse the aging process. And if that sales pitch sounds compelling to you, please give me your credit card information. This week, The F Plus puts the coconut in the fire to relieve this bellyache.

Your lips might feel a bit numb. That's normal. I'm having fun, don't put me down I'll never let you sweep me off my feet I won't let you in again The messages I've tried to send My information's just not going in This episode will change your life And this is the F Plus Podcast Terrible things, red with enthusiasm And changing your life

Possibly for the better In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Fifteen years ago, I dropped the toilet flush on my instep. It took a year for the initial pain to subside. I took no time off. As a result, scare tissue formed on the metatarsal region. Shut up, Jimmy Franks. If you don't have time for coffee, just eat a stick of butter.

Jack, check. CBD increases alertness if you take a small dose. Rats, too. Achilles Heelys. The science behind just one mold toxin in your coffee. He's your friend on the internet, and his name is Adam Bozer. I'm an advid CrossFitter, and I always take one ampule prior to training. And lemon. Test tested for toxins.

Y'all have spared me for spending hundreds of dollars on podiatrist visits. I hear that lately, before you're allowed to shoot a porn, they have to test you for toxins. Hey, F-Plus. Hi, Lemon. Hello, Lemon. Listen, baby, I'll be Hey, F-Lust. Hi, Lemon. Hello, Lemon. Hey, folks, are you all feeling motivated to get to your to-do list for the day? Are you ready to burn down your task list? God, no.

Not my task list. No, you're not. Boots, why not? You've seen what this fucking year is, right? I don't. I think. So here's what I remember is that it was January. Then there was a loud noise.

And then I slept a bunch. I rewatched all the Sopranos. I rewatched all of Harvey Birdman. Hold on. I got to go do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still good. It's still very funny.

I binged the news for about two weeks. I don't recommend that. Don't do that. I'm surprised you're still alive well listen we're gonna we're gonna turn we're gonna turn this ship around because you know here we are living living in a collective depressive state uh because of everything around us but but all that all of that is just based on our own sense of lacking motivation. What we need is our own bootstraps, our own get-up-and-go approach. So we're going to greet the day with vigor, with vim,

and probably with a hard dick. And one of the ways that we're going to do that... And if you want to check out my boots traps, you should come to Ball Pit. Thanks, boots. That's a real helpful joke. Where was I?

What we're going to do. I think you were about to go on a 90 minute screed about how emax is superior to vim please please edit in the clapboard noise right now. Take two. So we're going to be going to bulletproof.com. This is the website that used to be just for bulletproof coffee. Used to be. Used to be. And I could tell you a little bit about bulletproof coffee,

And I could tell you a little bit about Bulletproof Coffee, but I feel like a better expert is a refugee of San Francisco. Jack Chick, what is Bulletproof Coffee? Bulletproof is a science-based approach to nutrition and wellness that is tried, tested, and proven to make your life more awesome. Even better, you get to decide what more awesome means to you. Oh, fuck you! When you take control of your own biology, you're in the driver's seat. The world is your open road. Bulletproof is the high-octane gas that gets you where you want to go.

Athlete, check. Mathlete, check. Whoa! For the CEOs, the check. Mathlete, check. For the CEOs... For the CEOs... Mathlete, Mathlete, Holiday Inn. For the CEOs, the churners and burners, the parents, the dreamers, the people who want to be the best versions of themselves, we got you. What are you capable of? the parents, the dreamers, the people who want to be the best versions of themselves. We got you.

What are you capable of? More than you might think. Welcome to Bulletproof. Boom! Okay, so what is it? In 2004, Dave Asprey, Bulletproof founder,

CEO, and father of biohacking. Yes! Yes! Yes! Does he put magnets in his fingers? Father of biohacking, DuckDuckGo. For what it's worth, he managed to get himself the top result in both Google and DuckDuckGo, so congratulations. And also, the top result in both Google and DuckDuckDo, so congratulations.

And also, the top result is an article from Forbes that says bulletproof blah blah blah blah blah. And then it starts off, philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson. Oh, God. Sorry. Sorry. So, father of biohacking had a non-LED light bulb moment at 18,000 feet above sea level. What the fuck does that mean? I had a worse light bulb moment?

What does that mean? It's a less energy efficient light bulb moment. Yeah. This is not a safe space for LED or CFL light bulbs. But you can cook a tiny cake with it. I mean, really, guys, you have to think about it as a metaphor, right? It's a less energy-efficient light bulb, a less energy-efficient idea.

He had his easy-bake oven moments. What a cell phone. He was on a trek in Tibet. At negative 10 degrees Fahrenheit, his energy was plummeting. He staggered into a guest house where a local handed him a creamy cup of yak butter tea. That tea changed his life. It rejuvenated his mind and body, and the biohacker in him wanted to understand why the tea made him feel so good.

So he got to work. Bulletproof is built on the science that helped Dave lose 100 pounds and transform his life, going from brain fog... Whoa, what the fuck was this guy doing walking around Tibet with 100 extra pounds on him? I mean, really, all...

The Sherpas do all the work. Yes. Fuck it. I don't even have to climb the mountain. Work harder and I'll tip you $10 because that's a lot in your country. My stuff went up. I didn't. Going from brain fog

and fatigue to laser sharp focus and abundant energy.proof is dave's story it's your story too bulletproof products are backed by the latest research ancient knowledge from ayurvedic and chinese medicine and a steadfast commitment to quality oh and plenty of bulletproof coffee nice so what makes you different, Mr. fucking guy? Quality matters. When you shop for high-quality products, you want high-quality standards. You want science-backed ingredients.

You want stuff that's not approved by the FDA. You want foods that taste good and make you feel even better. That's what you get with Bulletproof. No gluten, no soy, no artificial... There's no gluten in your coffee? Yeah. No, this is coffee? What is it? It's a lifestyle brand, man. It's a lifestyle. I guess. Okay, he did say coffee

earlier, so... No gluten, no soy, no artificial fillers or junk. Close partnerships with producers and manufacturers to maintain high standards. Quality ingredients and attention to detail. No cutting corners.

Ever. I hope you managed to charge super reasonable prices for this all, right? Like really fair prices. Right? Right? Okay, awesome. So

we're going to be spending not all of our time on Bulletproof because we've got some other places to go. By the way, I need to mention this document submitted to us recently by Ameet. Thank you so very, very much, Ameet, for this document.

I was super excited to get it and then immediately contact Jack Chick, taunting him that we were going to be reading a document about Bulletproof Coffee. So, there's a lot of places that we're going to go, and one of those places is the blog.

That's blog.bulletproof.com, which has, among other things, some recipes. So, Adam. Yes. I would really, really love to know this. So just, I guess my question is, and I don't want it to be too simple

or too obvious or too plain, but what is bulletproof coffee? What is bulletproof coffee? It all starts with the beans. Brew one cup, which is about 8 to 12 ounces of coffee, using filtered water with 2 1⁄2 heaping tablespoons of freshly ground bulletproof coffee beans. Use a French press for ease of use and to preserve beneficial coffee oils that paper

filters keep out. I just got to say, the subdirectory that we're in right now is slash recipes. So I was like, recipe, huh? And it's like, yeah, buy our thing. Put hot water on it. Amy editorializes to say that this is about half of an ounce of coffee beans which costs about 75 cents. Add one

teaspoon to two tablespoons of brain octane oil. You'll learn much more about brain octane oil below. Alex Jones? But keep in mind this stuff is powerful! And I start with one teaspoon per cup.

And work your way up to one or two tablespoons. Because otherwise, you'll just be accomplishing too many goals. Let's start by spending 40 cents for your cup. And work your way up to having $2.30 worth of coconut oil in your coffee. Good, good, great. Add one to two tablespoons of grass-fed unsalted butter or grass-fed ghee. You read that right. It says butter.

Don't worry. This mixture also makes the creamiest and most delicious cup of coffee you've ever had. Well, I don't want to use butter. I'll just use ghee. That's it? Yeah. Yeah, ghee. Yeah, I heard butter is unhealthy.

In equal measure. Oh, and make sure that your butter is unsalted because salty coffee is gross. So that's another buck buck Buck 75 of butter According to Amy's figuring Mix it all in a blender For 30 seconds Until it looks like a foamy latte

And that's about 475 in total For one cup of not great coffee That you had to make yourself Do you have any sort of footnotes here In your recipe total for one cup of not great coffee that you had to make yourself. Okay. And then, do you have any sort of footnotes here in your recipe? Statements made on this website have not been evaluated by the

U.S. Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any diseases. Information provided on this website or any company is not suitable and not a substitute for individual medical advice. Claim the opposite. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a doctor.

But I'm pretty sure, because he says that he lost 100 pounds biohacking. I think he just invented how to give himself diarrhea. You cannot consume this much fat and oil without shitting your pants.

That's basically what it does. You start your day with a big heaping thing of oil, and then all your food goes right out of your ass. I'll say one thing. It wakes you right up. You've got a new task for the morning. You can't fall asleep on the toilet. I'm so alert because I'm always scanning the area for bathrooms.

I'm frankly astonished by this. I always assumed it was like an insignificant amount of fat that was doing nothing. No. No. That is what I assumed, too. Yeah, no. This is just a pool of fat that is floating at the top of your goddamn face. It's a stick of butter. It's a stick of butter.

It's a stick of butter. Guys, that's what the blender's for, so that you can emulsify that shit. Right, right. What did they say about oil and water? It's great together? If you're at maximum power efficiency, you've got four tablespoons of oil and fat in your coffee, which is a stick of butter. Say boots. Yeah.

I just opened my wallet here, and in my wallet I've got $55.95. Oh, cool. That's exactly how much I kept in my wallet. Is there anything that I can buy with $55.95? That's an amazing coincidence, because you can buy the Neuromaster 30 count. You get 30 of them. You get 30 pills.

That's right. I'm going to take it four times a day. Age smarter. Neuromaster supports memory and cognition so you stay focused and sharp. 30 veg capsules. 30 servings. This is just Alex Jones. I failed my role for neuromastery.

It's Alex Jones with a different target demo, but yes. Benefits. Brain health. Footnote. Memory and focus. Footnote. Healthy aging.note healthy aging footnote natural natural caffeine no footnotes citation needed about this product the gold standard of cognitive support two double blind placebo controlled studies reported an increase in bdnf brain derived neurotrophic factor after taking the coal

coffee fruit extract in neuromaster so i know what you're googling here but bdnf is an actual thing okay uh okay uh what is bdnf uh i don't know that's some complicated ass shit on wikipedia so i'm brain derived neurotrophic factor all i know is that as we age bdnf begins to decline um contains compounds shown to support memory and focus. Active ingredients extracted from the highest quality Arabica coffee fruit. Citation. So coffee. Start a small routine.

Take one capsule in the morning. Stack with other brain boosters like Keto Prime, Unfair Advantage, and Smart Mode. And Super Male Vitality. Supplement class. Then the Sims money cheat code. Brain Force Plus. Serving size, one capsule. Serving per container, 30.

Boots, I, oh God, Boots, I just found another $50.59.95, and I heard you say unfair advantage. Unfair advantage. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Before we move on, Boots, I really need to know what's in

whatever Neuromaster, whatever the hell it's called. I don't fucking know. No, no, it's in the deck. It's in the deck. Okay. It's really scientific. They say that they have super scientific ingredients.

Super scientific. Okay. Amount per serving. Neurofactor whole coffee fruit extract. Coffee Arabica, 200 milligrams. Coffee berry energy coffee fruit extracts. Coffee Arabica, 200 milligrams. Coffee berry energy coffee fruit extract. That's coffee. That's literally coffee.

Which is also coffee. Whole coffee fruit extract is Folgers. The fruit extract of a coffee berry coffee fruit is coffee? Yes. I can get you a box of 40 Viverin for $6 off Amazon. It contains

coffee and also the same coffee. Well, what about the, isn't there any other ingredients? No. No, there's some other ingredients. No, there's some other ingredients. Where? The other ingredients. No, there's some other ingredients. Where?

The other ingredients are right here. Oh, I'm on the wrong thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the other ingredients. Oh. Hmm. Rice flour. Modified cellulose.

Vegetable capsule. So that's the capsule itself. Right, right. Rice concentrate. And L-leosine. Yeah! It's a coffee bean in a gel cap. It's coffee in a gel cap with some rice to pat it out?

What the fuck? Yeah. For flavor. Anyway, buy those for $1.60 a pill. Anyway bill anyway yeah so that's cool i've got i've got i've got this other 59.95 great i'm and you said unfair advantage that made me really fair advantage really excited uh are there any benefits but we have any benefits before we fair advantage before Benefits? Before we move on, Liuba S has something that she wanted to tell us about Neuromaster. Yeah, Liuba, can you tell us about this? Yeah, I'm Liuba S. I and my husband taped.

So I and my husband taped, and my husband taped Neuromaster about one month. We take it in the morning with bulletproof coffee. No, not with bulletproof coffee. Oh, sorry, bulletproof coffee. Haven't had my Neuromaster yet. Couldn't remember. I feel me mental better.

Respectively balanced and calmed. Come on. My husband can work with less stress and more efficient. Are you Jar Jar Binks, Mrs. Hulk? Your O Master is a very good food for brain with caffeine blend. Thank you, Dave. My husband. My husband.

Anyway, I was telling you about the unfair thing yeah sorry you were benefits are brain and body energy no jitters mitochondrial support it supports all your mitochondria that's some powerful powerful coffee. Hey, come on. I've seen Parasite Eve. That's not a good thing. Heart and nerve support. About the mitochondria. Cellular energy. Mitochondria is cellular energy, of course.

I found a different part of the page where it says power your cells feel like a powerhouse. Oh, that as well um it's also made with brain octane oil to allow for better absorption uh so scrolling down here underneath the customers also bought uh there's some sort of bullet points of what unfair advantage can give you what are those uh where it's just right under customers also bought. Customers also bought.

So it's benefits, customers also, yeah, yeah. Wait, sorry. What am I reading again? So there's these three bullet points here. Oh, okay. So to clean, clear energy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clean, clear energy.

Energy supplement that gives a boost without the caffeine jitters. Which is great because I've been drinking coffee and taking coffee pills, but cool. Yeah. Helps mitochondria repair itself and support your brain and body. So I'm Wolverine. Is that accurate? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

My midichlorians are through the roof. Yeah, you will no longer reject the adamantium. Made with brain octane oil to allow for better absorption. So your brain spark plugs fire better? What the fuck? Power your cells. Feel like a power horse. Sorry, powerhouse.

No, power horse is better. Mitochondria are the power plants in your cells that help create energy. Stacy C. writes, Love it. Feel very alert and ready to go without that jigger-ty feeling. Take one every morning with my coffee. Wish it could be easier to get out of container. You're only taking one? Find your game.

Take your Amplo up to four times per day as needed for an extra boost of energy. I'm having trouble getting a pill out of a pill bottle. No, no. They actually put them in little tiny ampules. They're in little tiny, tiny gel cap size ampules. They're like those little wax soda bottles. Yeah, for sure. How many are included in the bottle?

I don't think I have that. $60 worth, Boots. Hello, I'm Anton C. Hey, Anton. No idea how to best consume it. Straight tastes weird in coffee? In water? No?

Other ways? I wish the carton had some ideas yeah it doesn't it doesn't say anywhere how many are in oh wait no 30 of them okay so it's it's 60 you get 30 of them it wants you to take four a day wow that's eight dollars that's eight dollars worth of pills a day right right right which which is then taken in in concert with several other supplements of course my name is cj expired 6 2018 i ordered from amazon because bulletproof takes 10 days last time i ordered something there was an expiration label of 6-2019 stuck over the expiration date of 6-2018. Either way, this is the last week of July 2019. WTF?

No effect whatsoever. I even took four. But that makes sense because they were expired. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my name's Jacob. Oh, boy. What's up with that horrible aftertaste? What's up with that horrible aftertaste? What's up with that horrible aftertaste?

Maybe super sensitive, but I'm having a really difficult time getting used to the taste of them. It feels like if I have it more than once a day, I'll end up with massive heartburn. It felt great taking it, however. I overdid it. And now every joint in my body is inflamed. Geek, oh no. Worried face. Oh my God.

Jimmy Franks, take the one Bozart just posted. You should change the name to Unreal Advantage. You should change the name to Unreal Advantage. I've been using PQQ and phospholipids for about six months now, and I've found

this product has made huge improvements in my athlete's awareness, focus, and concentration also love the pqqs combined with cock 10 and helps the sports cardiovascular stress common r sport you know what in middle school they tricked me into joining the cock 10 club yeah it's it's one step below the pen 15 Club. I like the packaging, but I wish I could get the very last to read more about reviews stating you can change the name to Unreal Manage Drops out of the tube.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. So good products, good products, good products, but I don't think we're done yet with buying products. So to that end, Adam, this is a, you know, I've just thrown away like $150 right now on coffee, coffee pills, and ampoules of question mark. I'm running a little low. I've only got like 19 bucks. You got anything for me? Yes.

I have coconut charcoal. It's fast detox from kryptonite foods and toxins. Do you think it's what it says it is? It benefits, like, yeah. Yeah, it is what it says it is, isn't it? It's coconut charcoal. I set a bunch of coconuts on fire and put them in pills. It's also got kryptonite in it somehow.

I need to drink. He set the coconut on fire and put it in. He drank it all up. He said, coconut fire. He drank it all up. Called me in the morning. I said, ooh! You could take two capsules for fast detox when eating or drinking coconut charcoal for times of increased exposure to toxins like evenings out, travel, lunch dates, and work events. Are those examples of toxins? Well, they're all toxic environments, you know.

You know what? If you have to go with Sheila, it really is. She's toxic. You know what? If you have to go with Sheila, it really is. She's toxic. Have you carefully sourced your ingredients, by the way? System click. Probably. Bulletproof coconut charcoal is a pure carbon supplement made entirely from coconut shells.

The cheaper part. Excellent. The part that you throw out. Great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

As opposed to the other commonly used materials like wood, bamboo, and debris. Debris. You know, debris. Every time a building falls down, they just turn it all into supplements. You got a note of caution in, I believe, that six-point font. I consume only plane crash charcoal. Thank you. Malaysian jetliner.

That's where I'm at. A note of caution. A note of caution. Toxicology studies show activated charcoal not interfering with sleep appetite or well-being. However, everyone responds differently to different doses, and the high absorption of charcoal may reduce effectiveness of certain medications. As with other supplements, consult your head care provider. At high doses, it may cause constipation. Good. Why?

Because it's charcoal, Doug. I got all these briquettes stuck up my butthole. Okay. How big are these? They're big. Oh, God. Well, hey, everybody.

I got a deal for you. Oh, what's that? It's the Neuropthable Personal Trainer Bundle. Oh, a bundle. That's great. You know what? Neuropthable? That's great because I'm excited about your bundle because, like, here I am buying all of these innovative and terrific products.

I'm running about your bundle because like here I am buying all of these innovative and terrific products. I'm running out of money. So I would love to have a bundle to just like save money on my end, you know, just like really cut down on costs. Well, yeah, no, you got a real value here.

I'm going to biohack your body to peak performance for the low, low price of $6,995. price of $6,995. Wait, what? Wow. That's much cheaper than $7,000. Hey man, that's like two Pelotons. Whatever.

Now let me talk about those benefits. We got reduced stress, improved sleep, and no more mental blocks. I'm assuming all of these are just verified by the FDA, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It costs $7,000. I mean, you care about that shit if you're a nerd.

Mushrooms are a lot cheaper. Now let me give you a description. We got state-of-the-art, fully configured, near-optimal trademark tablet system on Microsoft Surface Pro 4. i5 Core i5, 4 gigabyte RAM, 128 gigabyte SSD, loaded with personal trainer and including 300 sessions. Yeah, selling software is for fucking suckers bro yeah no you buy the most expensive tablet on the market great i love it yeah bro

with 300 videos on it just in case you're worried got one year antivirus protection just like it says on the sticker. I really hope it's from McAfee. You got window 10. That's just like, you know, some window treatment, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got one Z-amp. Great.

One Z-amp. Yeah, is that an MP3 player? It whips the zonkey's ass. I googled Zant and I got a solar power company, so I don't know. Sure, it's probably that.

In case you're being threatened by werewolves, I got you one set of solid silver sensors. Solid silver sensors. Werewolf alerts. One set of earbuds. He's spoiling. A stand.

Oh, dear. Well. It's Stephen King's, the stand. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty long. You can use it for firewood or fire starter or something. You got a carrying slash protective sleeve.

Great. Two USB cables. That's two. What the fuck? Are these AB? I mean, you can't just go buy USB cables, guys. Yeah, I've got a bunch of these in here. I don't know how many of them work.

I don't know, like a Sherpa breathed on them or something. He got one conductive 10-20 paste. For what? I was made to join the 10-20 flow. If you need to break open the tablet and reseat the processor, you can use the paste. What? No, that's like conductive gel for putting electrodes in your head.

Yeah, how are you going to attach some solid silver sensors, dog? Oh, shit. Are you electrocuting yourself with this? Hey, what? Is Patrick82 aware of this stuff? What's the sound quality like on this? Look, it's all explained. I've got the get started manual.

Okay. And, you know, also 12 months of personal assistant membership included. So, I mean, i really want a tablet but all of the tablets that are on the market are far far too cheap um right so i'm really glad like and like not loaded down with shovelware yeah well i got window 10 bro it comes with super fish. Hey, F plus? Yeah.

What kind of water are you drinking? I like polar seltzer. The mandarin flavor is good. Beer. A good. Beer. A pussy. Beer. A pussy. The tap water source here is natural spring water. You drink tap water?

Yeah. I mean, I used to biohack a well in the backyard. I put a bunch of butter in my water. I just drink Fiji water with Fred ice cubes. Oh, that's better. That's better. Okay, F+, we're going to make things better right now.

I got 63 reviews for this product. It's gotten four and a third stars. So this is fat water! Oh, yeah. It's specifically the lemon So this is fat water. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't. It's specifically the lemon-flavored fat water.

Woo! We put you in it. Fat water lemon is my favorite blues artist. Just the thing to wash down this delicious fat burger. So, yeah, I'll get to the price eventually. We can get to the price eventually. I don't need to get to that right away. I'm just going to tell you about fat water.

Power up on fat-fueled water that amps you up with energy while quenching your thirst. Okay. So, here's the thing about fat water. Wait a minute. Is this just going to be coffee? No, it's not coffee. It's fat water. The word fat is in all caps.

It is fat water. Okay. It's got powerful dehydration. Not dehydration. It's got powerful hydration. Okay? It's a pure deionized water beverage. Okay.

So it's just deionized water. No, no, no. It's a deionized water. No, no, no. It's a deionized water beverage. Whenever you're at a restaurant, please make sure to order the water beverage. Yeah. It's like when they call it a cocktail instead of a juice. It's a water beverage instead of water. Another bullet point here.

It's a water beverage instead of water. Another bullet point here. The pure deionized water in fat water is produced by removing ions through a specialized filter. This removes any ionic impurities such as metals resulting in pure H2O. It's basically what a lot of bottled water companies do. Smoothing ions. So the bullet points are deionized water and deionized water. Yes, correct. Now you've got amplified energy because powered with micro droplets of brain octane oil sourced from 100% pure coconut oil.

Okay. So when they say pure deionized water, they mean not pure deionized water. Pure deionized water they mean right not pure deionized water pure deionized water also brain octane oil also impurities brain octane oil is an mct that rapidly and efficiently converts into brain boosting fat burning ketone energy also you want more things. B vitamins support energy production at the cellular level. Also, zero sugar. Just real quick, I

went to WebMD and looked up MCT, which is medium chain triglycerides, which apparently they're also taken by mouth for a condition called milky urine. Just putting that out there in case any of you guys are... Get some fat water. If anybody wants to create a document.

Yeah, so... Hey, Bill, I'm pissing opaque again. Stay refreshed on the go. Drink fat water whenever you need a hydrating boost of energy. Try it after a meal or post-workout. Use it as a cocktail mixer or smoothie base. Here's the insider tip. This is best enjoyed chilled.

That's right. I just invented cold water. Should I not drink the hot fat water? It's like hot dog water. Can I make bulletproof coffee with the lemon fat water? Yeah, that requires you spending more money at my

store, so yes, you absolutely can. There's no possible way this doesn't exist with just... The fat is floating on the top, right? Do you want to know the ingredients of my product? Yeah. Yes. I do not have to tell you according

to FDA regulations and therefore will not. This deposition is over. It contains Very little Am I being detained? It's got the nutritional info And it just contains Very little at all

It contains There's just not much in here It contains 5% of your Recommended daily Saturated fat content Right, right, right That's why, yeah Fat water, fat content. Right, right, right. That's why. Yeah, fat water.

Fat water. Yep. Yeah, no, I was really hoping for. Three grams of carbohydrates. For 20 calories in a water beverage. No sugar, though. No sugar. Contains no sugar.

I didn't mention anything about the lemon flavor. So I'm so glad that you guys are very interested in this product now you know uh we're not we're not fucking polar springs people or something like that like we're not we're not tap water people we understand there's a premium to spend on water right so i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you 12 bottles of this water. Mm-hmm. Great. Okay. 12 bottles of this water. Give me $35 plus shipping charges.

Only? Yeah, only. That's all you need. Only $50? No, $35. $35. But, Adam, I'm so excited that you're excited about this because I am also excited to be ripping you off. If you give me $31.50, I can sign you up for a subscription model where I'll be sending you fat water every two weeks and withdrawing $32 from your credit card plus shipping fees. Thank you.

Thank you for mixing lemon and coconut oil together in water and putting it in a plastic bottle. Allegedly. I'm not sure if there's lemon in here. I don't know why. It's called lemon flavor, but I never explained what that means or where that comes from. You know, hey there. My name's Don, and I'm Mother of the Year, I think. I got a review, and I say fat water.

My daughter loves this stuff She doesn't get to drink anything But water So this lemonade is a true treat She wasn't too fond of the grapefruit or pineapple But how dare you How dare you Look she wasn't too fond

Of the grapefruit or pineapple But she is 10 Lol Oh my god That's so sad grapefruit, or pineapple, but she is ten. Lol. Oh, my God. Yo, that's so sad. Done. I went...

And you know what? Like, every other parent, every other parent that picks up their kid, like, from the rec center, like, she'll tell them about that. Like, oh, you know kylie just really loves the lemon water obviously she doesn't get any treats but like i give her the lemon water and she loves it no no she doesn't like ice cream okay no like i've told her she doesn't like it hey bozarth hey hey bozarth yeah hey yeah how are your vibes you know they've been pretty

unchill lately okay well let me let me tell you about a product okay i just discovered this we're gonna biohack your exercise and recovery routines by doing your moves on the vibe. What's the vibe, you ask? The whole body vibration plate, available from bulletproof.com for only $1,500. What? A plate? Like a serving plate? This is a charger?

Basically. It's basically a desk that you stand on and it vibrates. It's a little lectern. Yeah. It's basically a desk that you stand on and it vibrates. It's a little lectern. Yeah. It's a little tiny lectern. It's like a four inch tall lectern. Oh, it's a little podium, yeah. Get good vibes.

How much do I have to pay? $1,500. $1,500. Well, tell me what I'm going to get. I've already paid. Here are my numbers. That is before taxes and shipping. This thing is heavy as shit.

Let's add it to the cart and see what they're... Oh, I'm working on it. The Bulletproof Vibe is a whole body vibration platform that vibrates at a frequency of 30 hertz. The vibration has several benefits. Warm up and recovery. It increases blood flow to muscles pre and post workout. This enhanced blood flow prior to activity warms the muscles

and allows them to operate much more efficiently than with most other warm ups. Stretching. The vibrations produced by the Bulletproof Vibe will produce better range hey baby stretching a little happy valentine's day i got you a bulletproof vibe now dance bulletproof vibe kind of sounds sexy until you see that it's just a plate.

Balancing and strengthening. Boring exercises are spiced up and made much more effective during whole body vibration. What? What boring activities are more exciting when you're standing on a cheap motel vibrating bed? Ready?

Set? Vibe! Use any time for a quick workout or stretching session. Stand, squat, or strike a yoga pose while you vibe. Beginners can start using the vibe two to three times per week for five to ten minutes a session. Warning, always consult your physician before beginning this or any exercise program this is an exercise program okay anyways standing on a vibrating platform

yes that's an exercise program that's yeah do not use the bulletproof vibe if you have a medical condition that could be affected by vigorous shaking and vibrations or are at risk of stroke or heart attack, are pregnant or may be pregnant, have a history of detached retinas, or any... Oh, honey, I was on the vibe and my eyeball popped out again. Don't use it if you have... Take some more brain octane oil. Don't use it if you have eyeball problems. Well, I mean, they're targeting it at the...

They're targeting it at the tech sector, right? So none of those people have any eye problems, right? Yeah, of course. Have received an intraocular lens implant or are recovering from recent surgery. Please refer to the should you use this section in the user manual before use. If you experience chest pains, nausea, dizziness,

shortness of breath, severe joint pains, changes in vision or hearing during use, stop using Bulletproof Vibe immediately and consult your doctor before continuing. Do not taunt Bulletproof Vibe. What? Like, I love that it's this expensive motel bed that's also dangerous but also tiny yes it's we should know it's small it's it's soapbox magic fingers and your cat

Magic fingers for your cat. And Achilles, I think you're Mike T, right? Yeah, I'm Mike T. This is a three-star rating. Shakes my brain. Shakes my brain. Creates headaches. The Brain Shaker.

Six Flags Orlando. the brain shaker six flags orlando it'll make your eyes go googly-eyed only three stars for headaches apparently it's also very noisy according to the reviews yeah i would assume it's metal plates shaking on a vibrating platform that would alright the very last thing before we move on to the last section in this doc or no there's well you know here's the thing right

like we've given some docs and by the way if you want to submit a document to the thefpl.us please do so I love to get new docs it's very exciting um but uh i would say if you're gonna do a doc and you're over 30 pages make it under 30 pages um this one's 17 pages and we were actually a little bit concerned of like oh well this is kind of short. Like, is there going to be enough material in here? It's more than enough material on this goddamn website. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jimmy Franks, I don't know about you. I don't know about you, but I personally have always had problems with sleep. I have a hard time getting to sleep. Sleep is every day it's a problem for me. I have too much stressful sleep. I have a hard time getting to sleep. Sleep is every day. It's a problem. I have too much stressful sleep. I know exactly what you mean. Sure. Sure.

So is there. That seems like a bigger problem. I'm sorry. I'm so refreshed when I wake up. You're always complaining about my bullshit. Yours sounds so much worse. I'm so refreshed when I wake up every morning. Is it the brain octane oil?

Yep. Anything you can help me with here in my sleep? Oh, well, for all your sleep discomfort needs, I have the solution for you, friend. It's called sleep mode. Power down, up Sleep mode Benefits include Recharged and refreshed mornings Beat stress, fall asleep, stay asleep

Never awake again No, that's not Optimal dose of plant-sourced melatonin And drug-free sleep support Okay Yeah, let me tell you about this. You can support better sleep to avoid feeling tired or groggy, relieve stress and wind down when you're ready,

strengthen your normal sleep pattern, supercharge your days ahead. Sure. So what is it, though? Oh, well, it's the right amount of the right stuff, man. You know, it's got like a clinically-backed optimal dose of bio-identical melatonin. Right. So like anything, like the thing that I would buy at Walgreens It's got like a clinically backed optimal dose of bioidentical melatonin. The L-ornithine.

So like anything, like the thing that I would buy at Walgreens for like $1.40. Let's not get in the weeds here, okay? I feel like we're kind of getting burdened down by the details. L-ornithine, an adatogenic amino acid that acts on cortisol, your stress hormone. It's got plenty of that. And, of course, our patented brain octane oil as efficient fuel for cellular recovery during sleep.

Oh my god, this brain octane oil is in everything. What a useful product. I know that a standard dosage of melatonin is between 1 and 5 grams. How much melatonin is in this one? Oh, 300 micrograms. 300 micrograms.grams three micrograms

yeah so that's about right so point point three grams boots here with a quick correction just wanted to point out that i got milligrams micrograms mixed up so this is actually 0.0003 grams thanks well well well boots i think that you're missing part of the point this isn't meant to be a standalone solution it's meant to be uh used along with uh the bulletproof brand sleep induction mat which uh for fifty dollars you can get an acupressure uh mat that uh helps you fall asleep faster feel more, and improve overall energy levels. Jack Chick, this is an audio podcast, and I'm worried that our listeners cannot properly imagine what a sleep induction mat looks like.

Can you paint a picture with words? Yeah, so it looks like a black rolled-up yoga mat with what looks like sequins plastereded all over it so it's sort of saturday night fever the yoga mat yeah look boots it's it's not a sleep aid per se it's a suggestion of a sleep aid it's like a la croix of sleep hey yeah this the sleep mat is like one of those, like, cabby B to the C cushions if they were intentionally uncomfortable. Hey, listen. Me and Husbund are very upset.

I'm Hugo, and I'm back. Okay. I sleep very well with sleep mode. I sleep very well with sleep mode. Okay. Thank you, Bulletproof, for great products. I sleep very well in sleep mode thank you bulletproof for great products that three cents at mechanical turk

for those reviews is really paying off okay so that was a whole section about bulletproof.com uh the next section uh achille or i'm sorry uh amy it has in here uh as yeah sorry i'm sorry to rewind and i know you're trying to move on but i am trying to dixie b has a review of the uh the sleep induction mat okay and dixie b only gives it two stars oh oh oh whatixie B's problem with it? Dixie B says, my mistake. I didn't expect it to just be an acupuncture tool. What?

Ouch. I mean, sure, that makes sense. I mean, it only... Were you expecting it to be what? I have a review for Sleep Mode from Sharon K. Five stars, Sharon K. says. Sleep Mode from Sharon K. Five stars. Sharon K. says, Sleep Mode.

Have not used it yet, but am excited to try it. A preemptive review. That's a good customer. Just sleeping so well knowing it's in the house. Yeah, so we're going to in the house. Yeah. So,

so we're going to move on from this section. We, we've spent spending our time in, in various places and shopped at bulletproof.com blog that bulletproof.com and bulletproof.com. We're going to now move on to amazon.com. Here we go. For a product.

So again, this, this document given to us by a meat. It's lovely. I love it. Oh, here we go. For a product. So again, this document given to us by Amit. It's lovely. I love it. But this section, Amit has titled, I want to read this douchebag's books for some reason. So yeah, so this, Jimmy Franks, this book has the really succinct title of Superhuman, colon, the bulletproof plan to age backwards and maybe even live forever.

Superhuman, the bulletproof plan to age backwards and maybe even live forever. From bulletproof creator and bestselling author Dave Asprey comes a revolutionary approach to anti-aging that will help you up your game at any age. Dave Asprey suffered countless symptoms of aging as a young man. I believe it's pronounced ass spray. Ass spray.

Dave Asprey suffered countless symptoms of aging as a young man which sparked a life Oh no! He aged as a young man? During age 14, he underwent puberty. Where can I find his GoFundMe? He grew hair under his arms

and on his genitals, which sparked a lifelong burning desire to grow younger with each birthday. What the fuck is this guy's problem? Mom, mom, when I get older, I'm going to grow younger with every birthday. For more than 20

years, he's been on a quest to find innovative science-backed methods to upgrade human biology and redefine the limits of the mind, body, and spirit. The results speak for themselves. Now in his... Have you seen a picture of this guy?

I mean, I've seen the photos. I've seen the photos and I've seen what his actual age is. I disagree. Now in his 40s, Dave is smarter, happier, and more fit and successful than ever before. That's being in your 40s, numbnuts. Ian. Nice. No, numbnuts. Ian. Nice. Nice.

No, no, no. Numnuts is just one of the main side effects of brain oxygen oil. Talk to your doctor if you experience numbnuts. In Superhuman, he shows how this is level of health and performance possible for all of us. While we assume we will peak in middle age and then decline, Asbury's research reveals there is another way. It is possible to make changes on the subcellular level to dramatically extend lifespan. And the tools to live longer also give you more energy and brain power right now.

The answers lie in Dave's seven pillars of aging that contribute to degeneration and disease while diminishing your performance in the moment using simple interventions like diet, sleep, light, exercise, and little-known-but-powerful hacks from ozone therapy to proper jaw alignment. You can decelerate cellular aging and supercharge your body's ability to heal and rejuvenate. Is this guy injecting light?

It's a light and bleach. He's part of the body. A self-proclaimed human guinea pig. Asbury arms readers with practical advice to maximize their lives at every age with his signature mix of science geek wonder, candor, and enthusiasm. Fuck off. And squealing. Oh, man.

Fuck off. That's real good. Getting older no longer has to mean decline. Now, it's an opportunity to become superhuman. Dave Asprey discovered not drinking Mountain Dew. Oh my God, if this guy and Malcolm Gladwell ever got together, they would make so much money. Every single person that's a member of the Facebook I fucking love science would just have their credit cards automatically deducted.

A free book! If that happened, Elon Musk would fucking commission a satellite to just broadcast their shit all across the world. So there's a bunch of reviews in this book, Transpositive. A lot of the one-star reviews are like, I am a doctor and who cares? But then there's a bunch of five-star reviews, which are very excited. Martin G. Tobias is very excited.

His review is longer than I need to read, so I'm just going to read two sentences out of it. His title is, sounds like BS, but I want it! And then the first sentence of the first review is, living to 180 sounds like a crazy idea especially if you are also aging painful i hate if you're one of those people with that terrible condition so uh um in one of the reviews it mentions that um uh dave asprey um takes takes Provigil, which apparently is like a drug that is proven to enhance energy and cause people to feel like they're younger. So, okay, like they're basically like, okay, so you're saying all of this shit, but then you just take this one thing that everybody knows and just like all the rest of this is obvious bullshit. They're experiencing drug-induced mania well it's like i mean the thing is like is is like is like in the last like 30 years of his life you would look at a picture of timothy leary and go like well that's taking its

toll but you're definitely having fun so good good for you. But in this case, it's like, yeah, supplements. Woo! Okay, so there's another book. Jimmy Franks, I need you to tell me about another book here. Because you are an expert in, I don't know, reverse aging

or whatever. I'm assuming you also know a whole lot about child rearing and babies and stuff like that? No, no, no. No, no, no. Yes. They can only drink water.

This. What's wrong? It's fine. Let me tell you about the Better Baby Book. This is supposed to be about fatty coffee. You eat the babies and it makes you poop and you lose weight. The Better Baby Book,

How to Have a Healthier, Smarter, Happier Baby by Dave Asbury, MBA, and I think it's presumably his wife, Lana Asbury, MD. Sure, great, awesome. Getting younger together. How to Create a Health, happier, smarter baby.

The breakthrough pregnancy, diet, and lifestyle plan based on cutting-edge genetic science. And Amit has this note here. It says, mentally replace epigenetics with eugenics. All right. Here we go. Whether you're planning for pregnancy or are already pregnant, this essential prenatal guide draws on the latest genetic research to give you a complete program of specific nutrition and environmental lifestyle changes that can help you have a better baby.

The book is based on the emerging science of epigenetics and shows how the environment interacts with your genes. Stop smoking, stop drinking, no deli meats. Gotcha. Yep, that's probably what you're talking about. Nature and nurture affecting which genes are expressed or turned on.

It shows you the important steps you can take to improve preconception, nutrition, and reduce toxins in your home and body to consciously. Ding. All right. Yep. $30 for that word. Consciously help your child be healthy, smart, and strong. It leverages the latest epigenetics research to help you produce a healthier, smarter, and happier baby with a lower risk of allergies, asthma, and developmental issues. Shares a specific prescriptive program based on four principles.

Eating the right foods. Taking the right supplements. Detoxifying before, during, and after pregnancy. And minimizing stress. Shows how a woman's health and her environment during pregnancy may have a much bigger impact on her child than was previously thought. Oh, baby, I want you to fuck me so fucking hard right now, but first I'm going to take this colloidal silver. And it includes the author's compelling personal story

of developing the better baby plan shared in the book as they had their own better babies. You don't just get the book. You get the book behind the book, within the book. Awesome. So you've got credentials, right? You've got good credentials. Like this Dave Aspey.

Well, here's Lana Aspery. And Lana Aspey. This is Lana Aspery, MD, is a mother of two shockingly healthy children and a carol. A carolins. Every doctor. Oh, my God. This baby is so healthy She's even surprised

I married the bully poof coffee guy And they came out healthy I don't know But He's a healthy children and a Karolinska Trained physician who runs an international Natural fertility and healthy pregnancy Consulting practice Karolinska

Yeah it's a like a research facility in sweden apparently i want to know what else lana does oh well she like in addition to helping recover fertility that's the part i want to know well she helps couples recover fertility and have healthier pregnancies and better babies using the natural techniques that she helped recover fertility. Recover fertility. Hey, womb! My womb has gone fallow. Be more fertile!

Stop slacking! Just screaming at someone's testicles until they form more sperm. She's an ovarian rainmaker. Get pumped up! Yeah, so that's what they do. Oh, no, the last sentence in that paragraph is very good.

Yeah, she speaks internationally on topics of nutrition. No, no, no, her techniques. Her techniques are now outlined in The Better Baby Book. And she has been interviewed in Vogue. Maybe you've heard of it. Little magazine called Vogue. Excellent. Good, good, good, good, good, good.

Okay. What about Dave Asprey? Yeah, read where it says he spent 50 years. Okay, Dave Asprey, MBA, he's a well-known blogger, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's been featured on ABC's Nightline, CNN, and in Vogue and Men's Health. Whoa. I can't imagine that's been the same article. What part?

Boots, I'm sorry. He spent 15 years. He spent 15 years. He spent 15 years. He spent. I like, I like a bio with a high, hard line break in it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, he spent 15 years and $250,000 to hack his own biology.

Yeah, me too. Upgrading his brain by 20 IQ points. No way. He had to go kill a lot of mushrooms. Lowering his biological age. What does that even mean? And losing

100 pounds without using calories or exercise. Boy, Dave reminds me of every husband of every cool woman that I hang out with. While standing next to a mountain, he chopped it down with the edge of his hand. Like, I have all these great, like, dinners with people, and then there's always Dave, who's always like, you know, I've actually increased my IQ points by 20.

Yeah, that's great, Dave, by drinking coffee, huh? Yeah. Yep, yep. Abs really are made in the kitchen. But you know what? After all of that, that wasn't enough. Then he turned his focus to creating the ultimate plan to gift his children with the best lifelong health possible. Oh, yeah.

And that's where that sentence ends. It's gone. We're done. I love this quote. Yeah, the next thing, the quote from the Financial Times. Yeah, yeah. Take it. The Finan- No, no's the that's the very last line

in the in the dave's bio okay uh the financial times calls him a biohacker who takes self quantification to the extreme of self-experimentation i'm not sure that's a compliment uh yep uh adam uh you are a amazon customer uh you've only given this uh four out of five that is correct i am really enjoying it however i have one serious complaint which is why I'm only giving it four stars. The amount of times that the Better Baby website is referenced only to send you to a particularly empty pages is so, so disappointing. And also really surprising. It's almost like it's a cash-in or something. I want this extra info. Type in the web address

referenced and it leads you to pages that have an apology that the info isn't there and that if it wasn't frustrating enough, they blame it on the publisher for releasing their book six weeks ahead of schedule. How can I own everyone in my mommy

blog if I don't have the deets? Like, you know, I've spent a couple years How can I own everyone in my mommy blog if I don't have the deets? I've spent a couple years working on websites. Can you change a URL? I've never figured out how to change a URL. It's really, really hard. It is the hardest thing in programming. The book was released in 2013, and now we are six years later,

and they still haven't updated anything. Probably tomorrow though. It's disheartening because it's research and information that I really want to see and read that I believe other people really want to read. It's hard to find most of this information

out there. It would be just nice to have access to the extra references and studies they mention so many times, they say, if you want to know exactly what we did or you'd like to see the list of household items that we use, go to, and then it's just the apology. The research and information presented in the book is informative, groundbreaking, science-backed research that deviates from the normal understanding or common knowledge of what can contribute to having a healthy or unhealthy baby. I think that what matters, but what bothers me the most, is that the blame is put on another entity for the info not being there as referenced in their book. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I found I have so much respect for Dave and Anna and sharing this wonderful information with the world. I would still recommend this book to my friends. still recommend this book to my friends. I just have to include the recommendation with a disclaimer that they shouldn't go looking for some of the extra information that they promised because it simply isn't there. Dear

Google, the April 13th Google Doodle included a maze that I found very difficult to solve. I do believe I am a mock-ass trick. How do you buy a book that promises all the information is on a website? Like, come on.

It's a book. Put it in the book. But that's the thing like if you ever like if you ever like buy like because there's a lot of programming books and that's kind of what they all are is like hi this doesn't really have a reason to exist go to the block um uh okay so uh a little bit more here and i know i know that you know we're we're we're we're having fun here, but there's more to cover. I can't skip any of it. I love it. So this section is called I Want to Hear About Idiots.

So we're going to go to forum.bulletproof.com. Forum. Oh, boy. That's right, bitches. There's a forum. Oh, yeah. There's a forum. Yeah. You saved the best for last.

Yeah, so my name is Matt. Okay, so this is in Detox. Pass marijuana drug test. Yeah, I know how you can pass. Right. How do you pass

Well nevermind I'm gonna give my solution Hi all Let me start off with something very important Firstly This is a totally hypothetical situation Yeah I'm just curious For educational purposes

Alright nothing to see here, boys. It's just a hypothetical situation. Show's over. Right. So I'm somewhere around 23. I have no idea what my actual age is, so I'm tilde 23. 5'7", 165 pounds, below average body fat. 40 to 70%?

Bucket, that's a guess. I've smoked weed since I was 16. Hypothetically. 5'7", 165 pounds, below average body fat, 14 to 70%? Fuck it. That's a guess. I've smoked weed since I was 16. Hypothetically. At times heavily. Hypothetically. Swim has smoked weed since he was 16. Other times not so much.

So sometimes heavily, sometimes not so much. Various breaks in between. From the June 1st to July 14th or July 4th of 2014 I was weed free that's right like a month and three days motherfucker from July 4th to November 5th I smoked nearly every day

with escalating use escalating use I started that daily and went up from there but like I didn't smoke weed for a month so I started that daily and went up from there. It was one marijuana. Right. And then the second day it was two. But I didn't smoke weed for a month. Okay. So the past several weeks I've been abusing marijuana.

Whoa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. By how do you mean how much? Yes. Yes. Smoking over a gram a day. Jesus Christ.

In 24 hours. No, no. Okay. Please continue. Sometimes closer to three. Okay. Okay. How are you still feeding yourself?

Your parents pay a lot for your weed. Oh, yeah, they do. Okay. Yeah, my mom is the mom from weeds. So the weed is not super high quality, but it's relatively high. Take that to mean what you will. I don't. So this guy's smoking sticks.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. thing And again we're talking about a hypothetical situation Right I need to be able to test a drug test By about the 18th or the 19th Or the 20th I'm not sure which one What tips do you all have to ensure that I pass the test Other than like substitution methods

Or cheating Right Right So not that obviously you're like currently your your blood is mostly marijuana yeah yeah it sure is just thc it sure is it sure is i pricked my my finger the other week, and it was a Cottonmouths King song. Okay, so here's my current thinking in order to pass this drug test. Ultra ketogenic intermittent fasting diet, like a four to five hour eating window with below maintenance calories. Tons of walking every day and heavy weights three days a week. Oh, the Goku solution.

None of that would do anything. None of that would make a fucking difference at all. Okay. But, but, but two days before the test. Okay. I will cease working out and become a lazy slob. Right? Yeah. Okay. Right. Okay I will cease working out and become a lazy slob What Right So I'm gonna like do a bunch of running

And jogging like weed running And like weed jogging For like three For like three days a week And I'll also do intermittent fasting While constantly pumping iron I will be doing intermittent fasting And I won't choke

myself on the dumbbell. Okay, but then you're becoming a lazy slob. But then I'm going to become a lazy slob, right? And then I will carb up and try to make sure that I'm not burning fat during the test. This is the highest of ideas. Well, that way

no one suspects that he's changed who he is. What oh my god what the hell is if if i die of a cardiac arrest i can't fail the drug test i'll burn off all the fat that has weed in it and then replace it cover it up with new fat oh fuck, fuck, Adam, I think you... While smoking weed, yes, correct. I think that's actually the plan. Well, you know. Great minds think alike. Yeah, unfortunately, it's required

that I fast 12 hours before the tests are physical. What? Why? Because it's Ramadan, I guess. What weed test? Yeah, exactly. What high holiday test are you taking here uh anyway uh i'm gonna ignore that i'm gonna eat just eat a bunch of doritos uh day of the test i will drink copious amount of water uh take b vitamins and a bit of creatine and then pee multiple times before testing and

use the middle of my stream for a test. Okay, literally the last thing is the only thing that would make any difference, but you're still going to fail the test. What do you guys think? Will I pass? Yes. No.

You might fail, but I don't think they're going to care. I don't think there's... I really don't think that there's any flaws in this logic. Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. That's awesome. Just one more from the forum here. Jack Chick, you need to be

telling me about Himalayan salt lamps, please. Yes, I'm Mike74747474747474 star. Hello, bulletproof people I know everyone here loves the Himalayan salt and I just recently discovered Himalayan salt lamps wow cool

alright lamps this lamps last forever purify the air and heal it yeah they do no it doesn't it doesn't last forever it super doesn't it doesn't last forever well not super doesn't. It doesn't last forever. Well, not the lamp part of the lamp, but it... That's because you didn't get a pure Himalayan salt lamp. Fuck, you're right.

You have to deionize the Himalayan salt lamp. Unlike those other melty lamps. Yep. What, like a candle? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. melty lamps. Yep. What, like a candle? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Melty lamps. Balance out the positive and negative ions in the air, particularly with people who use computers.

Because they have electrons, and those are the opposite of ions. It's those ones and zeros. The EMF will kill you. That's true. Electronics, people who are the opposite of ions. It's those ones and zeros. The EMF will kill you. That's true. Electronics, people who smoke, etc. People have reported that they have stopped snoring at night. It has helped people with allergies and other sinus issues.

While there are countless health benefits, it's also a work of art. I mean, yeah, sure. It's not even a sculpted rock. It's just a raw rock. It's a chunk of salt. It kind of looks like something like a power-up that you'd pick up in Fortnite. I mean, you know, Bozarth, I feel like when we really get down to it, what you're asking here is, is it art?

Yeah. I was going to say, can i put it in my butt which is the oh my god oh my god himalayan salt butt plug i'm looking at it right now they're made from 200 million year old himalayan rock salt crystals and come in many colors search for health benefits and you will find many links i thought i would share this with you folks because these things do kick ass and are priceless for your well-being. They are pretty kick ass. Yeah.

These lamps kick ass. Later that month, Mike7474747474747star writes, Okay, I've been looking for scientific evidence, but I've been coming up empty-handed. All sites I visit claim the same thing. They list a thousand benefits, but then say that scientists haven't tested it yet. I guess for now, for me,

the biggest benefits is the nice glow that is less hash on my eyes, and if I notice any other benefits, that will just be a plus. What's this blog link? Scientists don't like to get laughed at, so they haven't researched it. What's this blog link scientists don't like to get laughed at so they haven't researched what's this blog link that's included the seven day sex challenge you know honestly it's a little bit disappointed because uh so there's a blog section amy put in a blog section here which is great uh

and uh and one of the blogs uh called the Seven Day Sex Challenge. But we're running into the same problem that Amazon Review had, which is that this site is just not good at content. It just can't provide content. But what I did find is this blog article called Bulletproof Your Sex Life. I'm just going to give you just the titles. So you're going to Bulletproof Your Sex Life. My name's Dave Asbury. And

so I've got some stock photos that I don't think I paid for. And here's how you Bulletproof Your Sex Life. Number one, take a look at your libido. Right? look at it Right, right Okay, so then number two

Get off porn Whoa, whoa, hold on Hey, hey, hey Jimmy Frank The internet is a wild and woolly place I never knew you to be a Fapstronaut I didn't come here to be a Fapstronaut I'm here because I'm a Fapstronaut. I didn't come here to be a fabstronaut.

I'm here because I'm a fabstronaut. Oh, there's so many crappy fake statistics in this thing. Dopamine, blah, blah, blah. It responds to porn much like the way it does with cocaine or alcohol. Yeah, uh-huh. Okay, so number fucking whoever. Focus on fun,. Okay. So number fucking whoever.

Focus on fun, not finishing. Wear a clown wig. Whoop, whoop. Taking away the goal of orgasm gets you out of your head. Okay. Cool. Great. So cool.

Now that you're sort of trying to focus on helping your partner come, boost your sex drive with maca. Nice. Yeah. Maca root. Pop down to Whole Foods and get me a bag of maca. That's right. That's right.

Research in men and women found that three grams of maca daily counters decreased libido. That's research that i'm sure is well sourced um a uh orgasm more if you're a woman what right ladies am i right what good good news ladies orgasms are great for your biology uh and uh and oh and the main source that i have for this blog article is uh my own podcast you should do that i referenced my own podcast as a source multiple times um so uh it's all it's all dudes in this recording right and uh you might be thinking okay so orgasm more if you're a woman yeah boring so cool hey here's the idea fuck faces orgasm less if you're a woman. Yeah, boring. So cool. Hey, here's the idea, fuckfaces!

Orgasm less if you're a man! Um, AKA semen retention. My ankles are swollen from all this semen retention. I need to get some compression garments.

Hey, okay. i want to i want to read i want to read a paragraph from this blog entry no i'm gonna read a paragraph from this product from this thing. No! I'm gonna read paragraph this thing. This thing.

Asshole! Controlling how often you climax can also lead to unprecedented motivation. Back when I was doing one-on-one coaching, a client of mine made a deal with his wife that he wouldn't ejaculate until he made $100,000. Which was, embarrassingly, a whole bunch of money for him at the time. He was, Adam...

That sounds like the worst thing on earth. Hey, hey! Fuck you! He was Adam. A hundred thousand dollars richer in under 30 days. His ambition and productivity went through the roof. He credits

his success to abstaining. P.S. His name was Morrissey. That sounds like the premise of a bad movie. Like a judge going like, I forbid you for coming until you earn back that $10,000 that you stole. Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis.

No, no, no, no, no. Adam, we should make this porno. Okay. Right? Alright. So it's a Black Mirror episode. Yeah. Right? And so the judge condemns him to like 30

days without coming. But then, all the late... Right? So then all... Yeah. Okay, and then 30 days. I get it. Yeah.

This isn't like an early Seth Rogen film. I don't really like... I mean, that's another way to go with it. Seth Rogen film. Yeah. Let's get Seth Rogen now. Yeah. Let's get Seth Rogen now. I think we can get him now. You know, he's under quarantine.

He films it in his house, and he's just, oh, I'm going crazy. Like Bowfinger, we do it without his permission? Yeah, we Bowfinger him. Okay, okay. So you're wanting to cast How to Lose Your Cum in 30 Days. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Cumming. Fucking, I don't know, some other shit. then and then at the bottom i say have more sex

what yeah have more sex you're welcome for my blog asshole um uh we're gonna we're gonna close things off and we've only got one recipe we've only got one recipe boots would you please uh give me the recipe for the blueberry yeah yeah and i got the recipe for the blueberry avocado smoothie bowl. Yeah, I got the recipe for the blueberry avocado smoothie bowl. Who's it by? Why the fuck is it in a bowl? It's a smoothie, dummy. Is there any other way to drink a smoothie? How do you have smoothies?

Ooh, I have a cup. Ooh, a straw and a cup. What an idiot. It's provided by Brett Toddy. Okay, good. Okay, start to finish. The smoothie bowl is going to take you 10 minutes. Sure.

All right, so here's what you need. You'll need one cup of spinach, lightly steamed. What? Steaming, whatever. One cup of blueberries. Half an avocado. Two cups of almond milk. Or one cup of coconut milk plus 1.5 cups of water.

Okay, we're pretty standard on our smoothie ingredients here, really. I just don't know why you're steaming your spinach, but okay. Yeah, steaming the spinach is pretty pointless. One tablespoon of brain octane oil. There we go. Now it's mouthful. One tablespoon of almond butter. Which goes with the almond milk.

Two scoops of whey protein. Two scoops of collagen protein powder. You'll be good. I'm only going to plump up my lips with that. Okay. You remember when you added a tablespoon of almond butter? Well, fuck you. You're adding a quarter cup of walnuts on top of that.

A quarter cup of shredded coconut. And a quarter cup of walnuts on top of that a quarter cup of shredded coconut and a quarter cup of blueberries again uh it's a topping oh oh those are the toppings okay so you know you blend and then you're yeah so there's blueberries in it and then blueberries on top for mouthfeel yeah because you're going to be spending the next hour eating this smoothie with a spoon anyway add your spinach blueberries avocado almond milk brain octane oil almond butter away to fucking fuck that other protein powder to a blender and blend until smooth if the tech if maybe maybe you're maybe the the other protein powder is topping. I don't know. If the mixture is too thick, add one quarter cup water at a time until you've reached your desired consistency. Two, once fully blended, add collagen protein to the mix.

There it is. It pulsed once or twice. Warning, do not blend the collagen protein on high. The protein structures are delicate and should be mixed with care. Exactly. That's like how, you know, like if you watch any sort of like YouTube like cooking things, they say like never mix bread because that creates

like gluten won't be able to form. It doesn't work. Right. Yeah. You need to get the air pockets. I don't know what's happening. Never mix anything. No, you absolutely do not want to strain the protein

and the gluten to develop it. That doesn't work. Your body won't digest it right. Just pulse it once or twice. Also, don't do that because it has gluten and toxins and etc. Then pour your stupid, etc. Right. Yeah. Good point. Pour your stupid, disgusting smoothie into a bowl.

Hey, that's great. Thank you so much, Bulletproof.com, for that recipe. I'm really into it. I love smoothies in a bowl. That's great. Do you happen to have any? Do you want to know how many calories are in a serving of this? Yeah, I guess I do. 515.

Oh, my God. Cool. Quite a bit of of sugar as you would imagine um uh do you have any other uh recipes there just out of curiosity uh any other recipes in the related recipe section yeah sure let's go to recipes let's see all the recipes that we have here um 10 keto instant pot desserts you can make in a snap. 23 keto meal prep recipes to help you stay on track. Ooh, they rhyme. I like. Here's the difference between like and love. I like paleo cauliflower rice sushi rolls. Those are pretty good. What are your thoughts on paleo sweet rice sushi rolls? Those are pretty good.

What are your thoughts on paleo sweet potato nachos? That's what I love. That is what love is to me. What about creamy cauliflower collagen and chicken soup? Collagen soup sounds great. So Lemon, the reason that you're feeling

only like for the uh the cauliflower rice sushi rolls is because you haven't gone and looked at what the uh the dipping sauces they want to provide you with there so let me just what sort of dipping sauce is gonna have with my paleo cauliflower rice well you know they offer four and i think that really all four are just the standard things you would have with sushi right number one coconut aminos everybody has them everybody uses them totally stock standard standard number two paleo mayonnaise right yep exactly i call it i call paleo mayonnaise uh welcome to shitty applebee's would you guys be interested in a deconstructed gluten-free tiramisu maybe wash it

down with a uh keto raspberry thyme gin fizz you could have a low-carb vegan ramen uh in there hey hey i'm not i'm not great but i have more sushi i have more sushi i need more sauces there's more sushi sauces okay sauce number three hot sauce Sauce number three, hot sauce. Great. Yep, exactly. Just any fucking type. Doesn't matter what.

Just dump a bunch of Tapatio on that shit. It'll be great. Who gives an earthly fuck? Crystal. And of course, finally, you all knew it was coming. Brain octane oil. Yeah, yeah. Smothered in brain octane oil. Yeah, yeah. Smothered in brain octane oil.

Beautiful, beautiful. Oh my god. I know where I want to go for my birthday. What's that? I'm going to Shitty Applebee's. I'm going to get all these delicious meals. Like a Ruby Tuesdays? Why did we learn from this episode, F Plus?

This guy fucking sucks chocolate bacon fudge fuck off I learned that the vibrating plate was actually not the stupidest thing that he had on the fucking store I told you as much too because when I when I harassed Jack Check with this episode and he was like

oh god the fucking vibrating plate and I was like that is not the dumbest thing I've been laughing about the vibrating plate for like a decade I learned the withdrawal method involves stopping intercourse right before climax and ejaculating outside the body oh man it's 96% effective involves stopping intercourse right before climax and ejaculating outside the body. Oh, man.

It's 96% effective. Yeah, you can make bulletproof coffee blocks for busy mornings. So, like, you make the bulletproof coffee, and then you freeze it, but, like, in the shape of, like, a Keurig cup. What? And then you just

eat the Keurig cup and then you just eat the curry cup what uh it's it's i mean like like as you said in the achilles in the beginning like it is um uh he is he's not far removed from alex jones like he's he's he's he's definitely like a sibling of that thing. And he's got a lot in common with Alex Jones. But obviously, this is very much for a different sect. Yeah. And so he needs to subscribe to that market. But at every opportunity, he takes every opportunity to just boldface, i am ripping you off yeah he's just i am stealing money from you he's just preying on a different kind of paranoia yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah i mean like because the thing is is that like you know to tiny you know to to to the mainstream press that he has received and like i've heard bulletproof coffee come up in regular conversations and it's like it's like i'd put bullet but butter in my coffee like that sounds gross oh it's for health reasons oh you're an idiot okay gotcha people want a very simple but also expensive solution to things so right right right and so and so somebody's gonna say like you know if somebody's gonna say like i like this then i go fine if somebody says says this is good for the things for my health, I go, like, you're probably kind of dumb. But then when you realize that, like, the opening pitch, as this guy has frequently been, his opening pitch is, I'm going to reverse the aging process. And when he says that, and, like, sentence one is I'm going to reverse the aging process, and then people are on the hook, it's like I really don't have sympathy for you of being robbed because that is embarrassing that you can be tricked by that.

There is a small amount of truth to the whole bulletproof coffee thing where a little bit of fat with your caffeine will probably help with all the things that you take coffee for, but then when you get to a point where you're dumping two sticks of it into your coffee every day and you're acting like that is reversing aging on the cellular

level, like... Well, it's... I guarantee... I guarantee that these are the same people who like if you were just to add cream to your coffee would be like the fuck are you doing uh the other thing that i learned and this was uh from sort of a search that i did halfway through um uh you go to etsy.com and just search uh um if you just search a himalayan salt butt plug like not only are there a whole bunch of results but also there's a whole bunch of uncomfortable looking results. Like there's

a couple of Himalayan salt butt plugs where you're like well that's weird but whatever and then there's a bunch of them that are in there that's like woo that seems like a bad idea. It's got a sting isn't it? It is salt yeah. It is salt. It's salt in something

that tears. The website is always the FPL dot US. I don't know exactly what I can tell you at this point about the website. Here's what I know is that at the point that it's feasible, at the point that it's feasible for like people to be together in the same room, I want to do another F plus live because F plus lives are fucking fun. And this is too much. So if we can do another F plus live,

like at the point that it's not a health problem to do an F plus like because that's something that's that's reasonable it's something that we will consider but at the point that it's not a health problem to do an F plus live I really want to do it and I hope you're all of course thank you for giving me something to look forward to yeah no I know it's just like well what do I do tomorrow wait same. Same thing. Same thing as today. Yeah, wait. We might do a marathon at some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We very well might do a marathon. Boots has been working some on another 24 Terrible Hours. I have personally been unhelpful in that particular pursuit. But we're going to also make it happen. Because 24 Terrible Hours is fun. We have fun. We raise money for charity. And also, it's a good thing to do.

It feels good. And so we will do that again when stars align. Okay, so the end of that. Go to ball pit. Come to ball pit. And don't get in fights with people. Check out my bootstraps. Yes. Bye. Bye. Come to Ball Pit And don't get in fights with people Yes Bye

Bye Yeah, what's that? Jimmy Franks, you have a question for me? You said you were looking up butt plugs. What's the weirdest butt plug that you found in your search? Okay, yeah, it's this one. Oh, no. Oh, no. Isn't that a torture device?

That's a drywall anchor. You can't do that. It's a cross between a drywall anchor and an infinity stone from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Your butt's going to be plugged, guys. It ain't coming unplugged. No, that is a plugged butt for sure. No. That's an air.

That's a drywall anchor is what it is.