The F Plus - 360: All My Starchildren
Episode Date: September 30, 2021Do you have alien-human hybrid children you've never met? Well it turns out that simply reading this means that you do. We know, we were surprised too. We're visiting the Hybrid Children Communit...y - a group of people of similar class and ethnic makeup who want to tell you about their imaginary children. And then they want to share recipes. This week, The F Plus is screaming with a huge smile.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome, Starfarers, to the F Plus Podcast.
An empathic place with open-hearted people
and terrible things read with enthusiasm.
In the room we have Booth Rangir.
The hybrid children are very different from third-density humans.
They are coming from a fourth-density society
where they are operating a much higher energetic vibration third density humans. They are coming from a fourth density society where they are operating a much
higher energetic vibration than
normal humans. Nutshell Gulag!
Through an ET regression,
I wholeheartedly connected with my Zeus-like
Pleiadian counterpart.
I remembered making a beautiful agreement with him
about always remembering his essence
so he could guide my way back to the stars
in this Earth life. Hey, hey!
We've got Dijon du Jour.
This is important to understand because, as some mothers may have 20 to 50 genetic children...
And Lemon, comment from January 14th, 2015.
Whoa, that makes so much sense. I'm walking on both sides. I'm walking on both sides.
I'm walking on both sides.
Because I'm walking on both sides.
I'm walking on both sides.
Hey, F+.
Hi, Lemon.
Hi.
Oh, hey.
Hey, how do you all feel about the continuation of the species?
Oof.
Let this generation be the last.
Well, that sounds very selfish.
You want to be the one just riding it out?
Is that what you want?
If you're not in the history books at the beginning,
you're going to be in there at the end? That's what you're going for?
To be fair, nature
seems to be going along with my plans, so
yeah.
Live scared.
Leave a desiccated corpse.
Just remember to prop me up with a
party hat on my head so that once he
finds me, like, 500 years later.
Okay, yeah, so it'll be a nice, like,
environmental storytelling,
yeah. Yeah, it'll be a Fallout tableau.
Oh, this one was playing with a horse.
Well, I want to tell you about a great community,
a great community that has invested in the continuation of the human species
and about the betterment of the human species.
the human species and about the betterment of the human species.
We're going to be going to a site presented to us by a lovely username named Smallest Sasquatch.
So we got a document here from Smallest Sasquatch.
And what we're looking at is a website called HybridChildrenCommunity.com.
Hybrid? Hybrid?
Hybrid?
Yeah.
Hybrid what?
Well, okay.
That's a great question.
That's a great question.
So we are a family.
The power on food and electricity.
A little bit of solar.
We are a family, tribe, and community of like-hearted people.
Because I wouldn't want to use mind in here, right?
tribe, and community of like-hearted people.
Because I wouldn't want to use mind in here, right?
We are a family, tribe, and community of like-hearted people that are living our highest joy in all ways that we can imagine.
Our passions vary wildly, and that makes our group stronger,
evolve faster, and brings a full spectrum of experiences
that causes us to become more of our authentic selves.
We are excited to live by our highest
vibrational values,
which is a link.
And this aids in shifting us to higher
dimensions. We all enjoy going
on adventures with other people, which is why
we've created a large variety of adventures
to go on with you.
The
purpose of the hybrid children community
is to connect hybrid children with their human families.
Aww.
Looks like we're in second gear now.
Our mission is to create a high-frequency cocoon based on the guidance we receive from the kids to reflect...
I think I've read this Murakami book.
I don't get that.
I think I've read this Murakami book.
I don't get that.
To reflect a vibration of the reality to boost us and support us and remembering and remembering.
That's re-hyphen-membering.
So not remembering.
It's the opposite of dismembering.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You remember when I gave you a good membering?
It's been a while. We're going to revisit that membering. We're going to revisit
that membering.
It's just such a
sexy word. Anyway,
remembering and awakening are
more infinite galactic
cells.
So this is a website
of community. There's a whole lot of
community photos. There's a lot lot of sort of community photos.
There's a lot of kind of like, oh, I would say like sort of rich hippie types hanging out in what I'm guessing to be sort of like California or Colorado.
Sedona.
It's definitely like summer camp for white middle class adults.
Yeah.
I was about to say I I'm playing Where's Waldo
in all the photos, except just looking for
black people.
That's going to be quite a difficult game for you.
I was just noticing that if you
scroll down to the footer, it gives you Kirk's
phone number.
There's a Facebook page,
there's a Facebook group, there's a YouTube channel,
and then there's Kirk's phone number
that's just in the footer.
Yeah.
Anyway.
The email goes to Bridget, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So Bridget handles a lot of this.
Boots, I have some questions for you.
I have some answers for you.
Yeah, great.
So you're Bridget Nielsen.
And a question for you.
Who are the hybrid children?
Yeah, me.
I'm Bridget Nielsensen not the one from rocky four
okay to be clear um not the red sonia one right not the red sonia one okay that's the same yeah
yeah not the one from cobra the hybrid children are genetic blend of human and extraterrestrial
zeta reticuli slash gray dna at the moment the children reside in a different dimension but they
will be arriving on earth in the relatively near future they're excited about coming and we the
parents can't wait for their arrival everyone involved in the hybridization program which
means fucking right that's what the hybridization program is That's what they're all doing at that summer camp.
Whether he or she remembers here in physical reality,
made a soul agreement before coming into this lifetime to take part in the agenda to awaken humankind
to our infinite expressions and reunite us
with our galactic family.
Oh, God.
During the-
I have a bunch of kids.
You don't know them.
They're in Canada
in a different dimension
they're on Venus in the 8th dimension
during the hybridization program
five hybrid races were created
including the
including the Including the Shalaniayayi.
Shalaniayayi, I love you.
And Esassani civilizations.
They have essential asses.
Yeah.
Esassani.
How hard is that to say?
It's hard for me. Clearly. Esassani. Eshalani. How hard is that to say? It's hard for me.
Clearly.
Esasani.
Esasani.
What?
Esasani.
Wow.
Wow.
I think you're getting bullied, Boots.
I think I am.
The Shalaniya, those who will come first, well, it's very considerate.
Yeah. Very, very, very considerate lovers.
Will be the first to make open contact with Earth.
Their ship, known as the Phoenix Lights,
was seen across the state of Arizona
in March of 1997.
Our immediate genetic hybrid children,
known as the Freelancers,
are hitching a ride with the Shalaniah
and are with them on their ships.
The group of children, sorry, this group of children
are not part of a hybrid civilization.
They'll be part of our human civilization.
So are you a W4 hybrid child or are you freelance?
I'm a Johnson and Johnson hybrid child.
I'm still an intern hybrid child, but they swear I'll become a full-time eventually.
Well, you know, depending on how your next review goes, I suppose.
We will become the sixth hybrid race, Galactic Humans.
Many parents communicate in dream time with their children.
Some shift dimensions when they are asleep to aid and assist the children with lessons they will need in order to acclimate to our society.
Humans 101.
Oh, we got to take the basic shit.
Well, this sounds, this is interesting.
So now that I'm here, I'm wondering, I think probably the same question that the rest of you all are wondering.
Do I have hybrid children? So now that I'm here, I'm wondering, I think probably the same question that the rest of you all are wondering.
Do I have hybrid children?
If you've synchronistically landed on this website, it is likely that you're participating in some way with a hybridization program and are choosing the reality of experiencing the incredible awakening.
Okay.
I didn't see a term of service. You are pregnant now.
I didn't see a TOS when I went to this website.
Well, I was not ready for the burden of parenthood, but now that I've visited this website...
Thanks a lot, smallest Sasquatch!
Sorry, but you are now officially five light years behind on your child support payments.
God damn it!
That's a measure of distance.
Hope you have a lot of postage.
Thank you.
By the way, thank you so much for forcing him to do that.
Like, I really appreciate you forcing him.
Because I could tell that he didn't want to correct you on that.
That he wanted to just let it go and be like,
yeah, fair enough.
It's a space joke,
but he couldn't do it.
It's actually a use of distance.
I was trying to justify it in my head
and then I realized I was wasting time
so I had to make words come out of my mouth.
Most people who have been abducted
have hybrid children.
Tap your heart
and truly ask your soul the question,
am I part of this program?
And do I have hybrid children?
Which is the question you just asked me.
Yes, I know.
Yep, yep, yep.
And then I'm going to answer the same thing again.
Can I institute a rule that the next time,
or the rest of this episode,
when you run into the word soul,
you have to say it like Soul Train?
How do you say it like Soul Train?
Soul.
Soul.
Yeah, exactly.
Ask your soul the question.
Listen, and the answer will come.
You know what is true for you.
Trust yourself.
If you'd like additional confirmation of your ET experiences
or meet your hybrid children,
you can contact us for a session
or to ask
us any questions
to continue
your excitement
in these new discoveries.
Validate your ET interactions and
connect with your hybrid children.
Okay.
Apparently, there's a whole bunch of – one of the things that I know about you, Bridget Nielsen, is people seem to ask you a bunch of questions frequently.
Yeah.
The frequently asked questions section goes on for goddamn ever. So I'm going to skip a bit because now that I know that I have hybrid children by going to this website, what should I name them?
You don't want me to talk about the Pleiadians,
Sirian, Arcturian, Orion, Anukag?
I guess I don't.
Anunnaki, Zeta Reticuli, Upsula?
Okay.
No, I just want to name,
now that I have my hybrid children,
I want to name them.
Do you have questions for naming my hybrid children?
Naming hybrid children, which is,
people often ask me this question Naming hybrid children, which is... People often ask me this question.
Naming hybrid children, colon.
You talk now.
The hybrid children are able to choose names for themselves,
but they don't identify with them the way we do
in our current human culture.
You know, our one human culture.
It's a Star Trek rules. human culture. You know, our one human culture. Yes.
It's a Star Trek rule.
They understand that they are infinite beings that have many expressions
of excitement. They choose
names that are associated with the nature
and natural things that match their vibration.
They're teaching us our
interconnection with all living things.
So,
examples. Yeah.
Examples.
They have their vibrations, their names, like, moh.
So, just, like, listen, nobody would name a human child these things, obviously.
Oh, yes.
Go on.
Okay, so examples are Lily Luna and Juniper Sage.
Outrageous.
What happened to good old-fashioned names like Apple and Moon Unit Zappa?
Moxie Crimefighter.
When connecting with your hybrid children,
tune in. They'll share their names
with you. They may be
playful and have you nickname them
for now before they land on Earth.
Okay.
And then next question.
When are the hybrid kids landing?
No one knows for sure.
Thanks.
There are many timelines of how the landing will occur,
so it depends on how we humans expand our frequency
and live as our natural selves.
Man, I thought I was never going to get fooled by vaporware again.
But, oh, vapor babies?
Babies in early access.
Oh, these are the star citizens.
Take that, kumquat.
So we're the energy of the reality where they can appear.
We have to raise our vibrations to a level where the high-frequency children can arrive.
It could be as early as 2015 for the first group of hybrids to land on the isolated communities described below.
It could be as late as 2033.
But we are sure that many, many people alive today will have the privilege of greeting the hybrid children when they touch down.
Cool.
And then where will they live, these hybrid kids?
Oh, the first hybrid children to arrive on Earth will live in small communities in pristine, isolated locations around the planet.
These communities will have been created by humans who have raised their vibrations to a level where they
can interact with the higher frequencies
of the hybrids.
So they'll live just generally
everywhere except for it'll be nice.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, yeah.
Cool.
And what do they eat?
People can afford to
spend their time on this bullshit.
Sure.
What do they eat?
Oh, different hybrid children will have different diets.
The first to come will likely be vegetarians and vegans.
The higher frequency kids will only consume organic living liquids.
They're vampires!
Some will not eat at all, but will receive their nourishment directly from the electromagnetic field,
as many ETs do.
So would that be like kombucha?
Would that be...
It's blood! It's blood!
They're vampires!
It's definitely blood.
Or maple syrup.
Okay, and then
we've got some sort of
visual woo, which
is pretty...
What's that?
Hey, look! It's the Triforce symbol!
Boy, you sure do find that everywhere.
Triforce.
Legend of Zelda Triforce.
Are they hybrid children or Hylian children?
Oh.
But anyway, we're going to move on to the next section.
Dijon, do you think you can tell me about our hybrid galactic family?
Yes, I'm...
Oh, I'm Kirk Nielsen.
You are Kirk Nielsen.
I would recommend you don't click on the link until you're done,
because the drawings are fantastic.
Every drawing on this website is fantastic.
Well, I'll have to look at my own drawings later.
First, I have to tell you about my five hybrid civilizations
that have been produced from the Gray Alien Hybrid Program.
Shaliniya, Sasani, from Esasani, Bashar's civilization, and three others.
The Shaliniya will be the first to make contact.
The Sasani will be the third.
And the second secret.
These civilizations' accelerated timelines have allowed them
to evolve thousands of years beyond our
present state of evolution.
Okay, okay, okay. I'm looking forward to this.
This sounds great.
Time has been accelerating on Earth more and more.
This is a given.
And we have evolved
to the point where we will soon be making contact with our galactic family
as of december 21st 2012 the extraterrestrial self and pros quarantine will be lifted
and it will be our energy that will determine when contact is made
there is no prediction of the future there is only the present sensing of the energy now
based on the sensing of the collective energetic momentum now by about 2015 everyone on earth will
know without a doubt that ets exist an isolated contact will be gone yada yada you already know
this obviously it's already happened yeah well yeah because there's no such thing as the future
because time is accelerating so therefore we we just keep catching up to the future.
Like the cops in Dukes of Hazzard.
We are making contact with ourselves.
We are making contact with a higher version of ourselves.
We are making contact with our future selves.
Wow, it's the Father the son and the holy spirit
of ourselves
I can't hear you
you're so far into your
navel
that was some lint in there
is that hybrid lint
anyway update on that future that's approaching.
There is no future.
Big news.
No future.
I don't know.
The more we know that there is no time,
no past, and no future, and
behave as if
there is only now.
Wow.
It sounds like the ecstasy is running out right now.
This is,
this is called suicide Monday.
That's what this is.
Okay.
Yeah.
The more in alignment we will be with our galactic hybrid family,
the sooner we will meet them.
That was not a full sentence because our galactic hybrid family exists in the
now.
Daddy-o.
When we move to
the now, we will realize that we
are already there.
Here.
Now.
Yes, because behaving as if there's only now
has worked out so well for the human
race so far.
So now that you've
read that terrific thing,
go ahead and click on that link and
can you describe a little bit of the drawing
that explains
everything here?
It's loading. Oh, dear.
So this is from an alien
civilization where flowcharts start at the bottom
and then they go
right and then up
to the left and then right to the up.
So the flowchart works.
So what happens in your flowchart here?
Hang on, I'm opening a different link.
I opened the wrong link.
It showed me a bunch of
what I can only see as Legend of Zelda fan art.
So I think it... Okay, so it starts at the bottom.
First there's the grey,
the zeta reticuli, and the human
hybrid. Wait, so the humans are already
hybrids? Yes. Okay.
These hybrid kids are some
Margaret Keene-looking motherfuckers.
Yes.
Yes, and when we
give birth to a bunch of, give birth, give birth to a bunch of give birth presumably to a bunch of freelancers
uh who have had like guitar picks uh these are the hybrid children real big eyes
yeah give birth to those assholes they've probably got huge heads that's oh my god yeah imagine
imagine the birthing oh no uh and i think we also at the same time Will give birth to the hybrid civilization
One the Shaliniya
Who have even bigger eyes
Yes on the Phoenix light ship
Which I think might be a V
And then they give
And then they give birth to what
Yeah hybrid civilization two undisclosed
It's redacted by the US government
Yes They're on top of things like this Undisclosed. It's redacted by the U.S. government. Yes.
They're on top of things like this.
Represented by an undifferentiated cloud of cigarette smoke.
Who will then give birth to Hybrid Civilization 3, the Asasani, Bashar Civilization.
Who will bring about Hybrid Civilization 4, which is also undisclosed.
who will bring about hybrid civilization 4 which is also undisclosed
who will then give birth to hybrid civilization 5
which is also undisclosed
but blue this time
oh well
redacted but pretty
so this is cool
I think this sounds good
this sounds like
I was going to say our future
but apparently now
I've been confused
of what future means.
Yeah,
there's no future.
This is our now.
There's just no future.
So we're going to learn
something about
some of these children.
So the first child we have
is a child of Bridget Nielsen.
Nutshell,
can you tell me about Mapper?
Mapper.
Oh,
sure,
but I mean,
the one I really want to tell you about is Lobster.
Okay, great.
Well, give me both.
Give me both, please.
All right.
All right.
Well, first of all, Mapper, framework and maze generator.
Mapper is a maze designer.
Nope, nope, nope.
Mapper changed his name.
Mapper.
Savage Reed Vitting.
Two peas are for earth children mother
Maipur is a maze designer
he uses his grid gifts
as a game almost like a video
game designer on earth
because that's how video games work
he sets up holographic realities
for his friends fellow hybrids, to master
setting up portals and uses
magical devices to foresee the next
step. He is working with
beings in other civilizations
to learn how to design
the framework of various dimensions
and people slash beings
soul blueprints. I'm sorry,
people slash beings what?
Soul blueprints. Oh, sorry. People slash beings what? Soul blueprints.
Oh, sorry.
Was it soul
blueprints?
Even better.
These are maps that
lays out the incarnational game
board for beings themes of
exploration. He's playing the
higher self and the goal of this game is
to create expansion through challenges and positive reinforcement.
He is something of a master of this, let's call it a dungeon?
Okay, and then you wanted to talk about Lobster, you said?
Yes, I want to talk about Lobster, the hybrid screamer!
Oh, dear.
You're very right.
Oh, wow. Wow, dear. You're very red. Oh, wow.
Wow, this one is excited.
Okay, okay, okay.
So, the other evening, Patrick and I could feel super bright red energy around.
When we conversed, I peered through the dimensional veil and saw a flash of a little boy.
He had a freaked out, deer in the headlights, oh, crap, you caught me red-handed kind of look.
Smiley face.
I heard his telepathic thought.
Oh, no.
She saw me.
I was assigned to Patrick.
After understanding the kid's debacle, I neutrally said to Patrick, if you're open, there's a hybrid kid ready to meet you.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and journeyed from his heart to the reality of the screamer!
The first thing he reported was a giant lobster!
I replied gingerly, go deeper.
This is what Patrick discovered.
There's a different level of potency to higher dimensional colors,
and this red color that I could see in my mind's eye wasn't exactly red as you would recognize it here
in third dimensional physical reality.
It's much brighter and it breathes.
I guess we can call it his hybrid aura.
This bright candy red hybrid aura
was the first palpable emanation
that pierced through the veil for me to see.
The red hybrid aura was screaming.
The screams were from pure excitement
and the energy of a thousand roller coaster rides
and a million laughs!
This aura seemed to kind of act like
an interdimensional extension
that helped pull me into its frequency
where I was able to make a deeper connection.
When I first saw his face,
he was screaming with a huge smile!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That is some real mixed signal shit.
It was funny.
Please, anyone, you know,
sometimes, you know, there's like F plus lives,
there's like whatever, you know,
if you ever see me out in the world,
please don't scream at me with a huge smile.
It really, really, really difficult.
It was funny because immediately
I recognized Bridget in him.
She screams with a big smile, too.
They share smiles and have a similar vivacious purity.
The ocean was his power place, and his energy felt a lot like being sprayed with ocean water in the face while riding a wave runner at dangerous speeds.
There's a spittle coming from his screaming. I watched him as he swam around screaming the water into
extravagant fluctuating designs that would breathe
and dance almost like a dolphin blowing rings
except he was screaming sculptures!
He would
use his amphibious hands to dart around
the water with hydrodynamic
grace unparalleled here on Earth.
I laughed in wonder
as I saw him launch himself out of the ocean
and use his feet like water jets
spraying waves out of them and surfing around on them above the surface
when I saw him above the water
I noticed that he had a spiral
Taurus looking thing on his forehead
he's a Junji Ito character
yay
as I looked deeper into it he's a Junji Ito character! Yay!
As I looked deeper into it,
it pulled me in,
and the next thing I knew,
I was flying through a deep cave where there was a huge festival going on
with thousands and thousands of dancing entities,
colors, and shapes!
Sadie is very worried about what I'm doing right now.
She's on the desk looking at me.
I think we're all a little worried, yeah.
Yes. I flew back out all a little worried, yeah.
I flew back out and I realized that his third eye was a portal
and whatever state didn't really
talk to me or give me any specific linear
messages. It was more of an energetic
thing. Before this
convention, do you want to
talk to a lawyer?
I feel like he
was just happy to have made contact with me.
And I could tell that he was really excited and proud to show me how much fun he has
frolicking around in his personal paradise.
It's cool because now I can share with him through my third eye.
And when I get excited or have a good laugh,
our dimensions are close enough that I can feel him scream laughing with me!
Smiley face.
And then that emoji is actually
called slightly smiling face.
Yeah, and then there's a
really great watercolor drawing
of
a kid
with
mermaid hands.
He's not lobster enough, honestly.
Surfing with a lobster.
He's surfing on top of an ice floe?
Yeah.
Next to a lobster.
The lobster's just there, hanging out.
Hey, can I introduce Nestor to you all?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Nestor.
Okay.
Hey, so I was channeled by Alessandra Giolioli.
And, okay, hello.
You said your name's Nestor, but where does the emphasis actually lie in that name?
Oh, yeah.
So it's Nestor, Nestor.
Thank you.
You're right.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I should, yeah.
Okay. So,
hello! I am the
species known as the Global
Intergalactic Humanoid Central
Sun Emissaries.
That's a species.
Gixi.
We have a special mission to
unify all fronts. All of them.
There is a spiritual
mission to link all beings.
Fuck the back, though.
To allow all beings in their
expression of physical reality to be better
able to communicate with one another
intra-dimensionally and more.
I'm a master
at intra-dimensional travel
and intra-dimensional.
So I can just, yeah,
whatever you want with those Ethernet cables.
I'll bring you light and power from the great grand central sun where not only I am from, but also where I'm going to school.
Wow.
Great grandma central.
The suns, the central suns of all planetary systems are replicas of the one great grand central sun.
We relay informational codes just above the level of consciousness to sustain and awaken further the peoples of the planetary systems.
We are the fountains of knowledge at the central sun.
We are delegates fountains of knowledge at the central sun. We are delegates of peace.
We are en force for unification for all of the ascension plan of the universe.
We are the crystal gems.
My head is very large and I'm holding a wobbly marble.
Hi.
Hey, what's up? It's me, Finn,n with a ph the cetacean hybrid ambassador
you see it's a yes it's a it's a sound alike yes just dolphin
uh and then this is in quotes this is is all in quotes. So this is what I said.
Dad, I want to swim with you and introduce you to my dolphin friends.
I know you know them, but I want to show you their world through my eyes. I'm so grateful for my life and the frequency you gave me to exist in this way.
It is because of you that I can be me.
I say this to you, Dad, Bridget Nielsen.
I am a hybrid dolphin ambassador.
Well, I'm connected
to all the cetaceans, but specifically
the dolphins because I like to play
just like them.
Okay, that sounds kind of classist.
I can speak their
language and pulse out a sonar-like
energy radiating from my heart.
Not my mouth, my heart.
My job is to teach humans how to have fun and jump and play and splash by being with me and my friends in the sea.
I sometimes use the dimensional light gates in the ocean to communicate with other beings and realities.
But that's more of my sister's thing.
with other beings and realities.
But that's more of my sister's thing.
I connect to Sirius when a portal of communication appears
and share what's bubbling up on Earth
and different planets I explore.
And you did capitalize Sirius,
so you pay for the subscription,
is that what you're saying?
Yeah, I got it.
I never miss Howard in the morning.
I always feel you with me because you are me and I am you.
We may not be connected through DNA, but I swim with you in a deeper way.
Thank you for my Syrian abilities and frequencies to explore and adventure through seas of energy.
And then, of course, there is a drawing there of Finn.
How would you describe sort of Finn's general look?
Let me load this page slowly.
Oh.
Oh.
So Finn was wearing a snorkel?
Yeah.
So Finn, I believe, is in the middle.
So it sort of looks like Bubsy the cat, but underwater with a snorkel? Yeah, so Finn, I believe, is in the middle, so it sort of looks like Bubsy the cat,
but underwater, with a snorkel.
Yeah, my first instinct was Blinks the
time cat, but yes.
Okay.
Yeah, Finn's
left foot is on backwards.
And apparently had
the left arm has been removed probably in a dolphin attack.
Well, you know, he said he can communicate with dolphins.
He didn't say exactly what that communication looked like.
Oh, no.
You fucking dolphins!
What you got, Dijon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm Rep, and I'm the ref dad call me rep rep the ref no i'm disowning you oh they haven't even heard what i can do yet dad
we hybrids are being trained to play with earth well Well, some are doing other things, but the first contact crew that I'm a part
of is amped to merge with humans.
For some reason, you guys think your
world is bland or something.
The expressions of your planet are fascinating.
Zing!
There's so much to explore, it makes me
zingy.
I think it had enough sugar already, son.
Maybe put down the coconut.
I'm the pixie sticks hybrid.
No, but this transformation and merging with us about working with what you already are.
Earth is awesome.
You're awesome.
My passion is adapting your competitive sports into collaboration games.
You're just a referee.
Yeah, yeah.
He's rep the ref.
Oh, good.
Not only does he show up to your soccer game wearing his own referee uniform, but then he describes how he's going to make your soccer game better.
own referee uniform, but then he describes how he's going to make your
soccer game better.
I got stuck on collaborative
games because my first thought was
just like, oh good, because the end game is
everybody's favorite board game.
What if every time the kick happened
everyone got a point?
Yay!
Everybody loves it in a pickup game of basketball
when somebody shows up and starts giving out
penalties.
I'm helping.
You thought I'd be creating a new star.
Nope.
I'm learning to play like humans do.
Well, in a way that fits me.
My biggest fascination is in the psychology and physiological shift of what you call the will to win.
That is the state that we physically exist in all the time,
where everything is possible and the pure channeling of source happens through our skinny bodies.
It seems challenging for humans to push back the physical limitation barrier.
They tend to die.
I notice experimenting through you and expanding your world that you're awakening beyond what you see, hear, and feel.
Yeah.
And you're expanding extra senses.
Rep, if you would just respect-
No, that's just called maladaptive daydreaming.
If you would just respect my personal barriers, my physical limitation barriers? I really appreciate it.
You don't need to push past those.
You can just stay over there, okay?
But if
we work together collaboratively,
then your elbow could bend the other direction.
Stop bending my elbow!
Ow!
Oh, don't you feel the energy?
I do feel energy, yes!
Let's go that way!
Now see, it isn't until humans' falsified reserves are tapped
that your true state of endless energy comes through.
When humans' peak potential is boundless and beams from source energy,
my revelations that games are the answers for you, slash humanity.
Your games are competitive, based on fear and survival.
It isn't until you run out of steam in that direction that a part of you realizes that
there's nothing left, thus enabling transcendent access to endless energy.
When games are presented from a place of joy, where being in the moment is all there is.
The state of infinite physical reserve is accessible.
The moment is a place where beings are constantly anew
and thus regenerated.
The only thing that Rep cares about is sports and games.
And the only thing that Rep hates is competition.
Yes. Okay. Okay.
I hate it when there's a point.
Sure. I am now
reffing humanity's old fight
of lower chakras
acted out in your traditional
sports games to play.
I can reff my own lower chakras, okay?
Yes. I'm kicking my own lower chakras, okay? Yes.
I'm kicking you in the nuts.
To playing from the upper chakras,
your will to win
seems to be the flipping point
that is available in your reality.
It is my passion
to ref the players in various games,
reminding them that
fun is infinite fuel.
How, how, how will you help me understand how to do this, Dad?
Will you be my Olympian for quasi-physical experimentation?
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I do not consent to that.
Absolutely not.
Experiment, Father. I do not consent to that Absolutely not Experiment father We will not
Quasi physically experiment
No
Oh oh so
My favorite adaptive sports
That I ref and am honing
With the fellow freelancers
When we play on Shikani
Are Diamond Baseball
And the Mayan
hoop.
They are our favorite games to play.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
So you don't like competition.
Your favorite game is the Mayan hoop?
Yes.
So you're talking about like Talachia,
the game where they
beheaded the people
who lost.
The winners got an orgy and the losers got death?
Yes, and when
I've changed the rules
so that when someone wins, everyone loses
their heads.
That seems very
fair.
They are our favorite
games to play, and I want to ready them for you for humanity
one moment equals one rep equals one play dad i love you let's play ball
oh god
we got a little bit
just before we move on to these parents,
but there's one more child I want to talk to you about
named Gorwin,
the balancer of polarities.
This is the child of...
It's not Raven, the cultural appropriator.
This is birthed by Sharon McCormick.
Yeah, so I'm
Gorwin.
I have good This is birthed by Sharon McCormick. Yeah, so I'm Gorman. Sorry, Gorman.
I have good to excellent communication with several of my hybrid children.
But when a girl I hadn't met before visited me the other night, she took it to a whole new level.
I didn't realize at first a child was coming in.
All I saw was a bunch of red circles surrounded by yellow circles.
I thought it was probably new artwork from Cake, which is capitalized.
So, you know, the band, the long jacket band.
New artwork, like album artwork.
One of my hybrid sons who often sends his art my way, but it didn't really look like his usual.
The circles faded away.
A girl's energy materialized just long enough for me to grasp it, then disappeared.
I went back to sleep.
She appeared again and gave me a name.
Gorwyn.
And left.
I never had a child.
Your name's Gorwyn! Goodbye!
Try finding naming.
Oh, damn it!
I never had a child appear twice in one
night, much less three times.
The third time she again
spoke
tele-
tele-empathetic-
tele-empathet-
tele-empath-
as opposed to
physically and physical-empathetically, where, like, you force someone to smile with your hands.
Do you remember that anima and many...
Oh, sorry, this is a quote from somebody.
It's not attributed, so somebody said...
Do you remember that anima and many other beings say that one of the best ways for humans to ensure a smooth transformation is for you
both individually and collectively to learn to balance
the polarities, light and dark, positive
and negative, male, female, head and heart.
And then maybe I said this.
Give me the box!
That's my joy, she said,
helping humans and others feel balanced
the polarities.
Even though I've got pretty good at most of these concepts,
the male-female one is a
challenge for me.
I don't understand
gender.
I'm pretty sure that Gorwin is
a Spinda, though, by the voice that
Lemon was using.
Yep.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You just need to remember
Anima's explanation.
Oh, that's what Gorwyn said.
You need to remember
Anima's explanation, Gorwyn said.
Aren't I Gorwyn?
Anyway.
No, you're Gorwyn's mom talking about Gorwyn.
Oh, okay.
That which is expressive without
and that which is expressive within. Oh, I. That which is expressive without and that which is expressive
within. Oh, I don't know the voice?
No,
you don't need that voice anymore.
Lemon is
balancing the voices.
Nobody needs to hear that voice again.
Definitely one of those
voices that was like, I hope I can be done
with this paragraph just by using that voice.
She described very specifically
the way she wanted to be depicted in the artwork.
The red and yellow circles behind her.
Even though she's a girl,
her face, half female,
half male. Clad in
yellow robe, the polarity symbols
around her, purple background.
After I remembered all that she
said, I fell back into a deep
sleep. The next day, I
started on her portrait. Now I'm going to
click on the portrait and OH MY GOD!
Oh, it looks terrible!
It's very blue.
Oh, oh.
So when I said
half male, half female, you might kind of think maybe you want to go for like an androgynous kind of like David Bowie kind of one.
Well, that's one way to go.
The other way would be Two-Face from Batman.
Yes, lateral symmetry.
Holding a yin in one hand and a yang in the other.
With a hard line down the middle.
Yeah.
And both the girl half and the boy half are sad about it.
Two-Face, if he was Dolly Parton and Biff Tannen.
It's very Hedwig's tattoo.
Yeah.
Like, at the point that you can't even draw male and female symbols,
like, maybe just work on a couple fundamentals
before you start moving into people.
Hey, I'm StarryEyed7.
Sorry, I'm StarryEyed7.
This one's by Michael Gaio, not by Bridget Nielsen.
Oh, okay.
And this appears to be more of a poem than a description.
Yeah, it's definitely a poem.
My daughter lit the wick of the sun.
The sky was blind, but I saw her do it.
She held the candle like a crayon.
Those clouds moving along the horizon,
she put them there
with her fingers. They are
cumulus and full of puff.
That was my,
that was only my imagination.
I have no daughter born, really.
A princess.
My kingdom for a princess.
Poetry, music,
and other smooth rhymes gallop
like horses, unbridled over slope and plain
in pastures ideas graze like plump heifers royal orchids are ripe with words like apricot
persimmon and lime but there is no child for the kingdom's devotion. What is the king doing confined in the dungeon?
His hands are shackled, his eyes stare into the wall.
Perhaps he was binded, trying to see too far.
Like the cyclops who squints at the bulging sun,
the king is still pregnant and waiting.
That was the worst alien sex fiend song I'd ever heard.
So now you know about Starry-Eyed Seven.
Okay, so that was the children.
We're going to move into talking a little bit about the parents,
the parents of these children.
I have a note here from Smallest Sasquatch.
Smallest Sasquatch wants us to know that when they mention Bashar,
many of these people initially met
through events hosted by Daryl Anka,
a psychic, in quotes,
and possible cult leader who channels
the enlightened being from the future called Bashar.
He gives people advice
on their spiritual journeys, but you know,
for a fee.
The doctor from Deep Space Nine?
Fuck, I was also going to make that joke.
I win.
But you've been watching
lately, guys.
By the way,
we're not going to this one
in this episode, but
Bashar.org
is the site for this
spiritual leader slash guru
slash cult figure.
looks like there's an episode in there.
Anyway.
Okay.
So
we've talked a little bit about
Bridget Nielsen.
In a nutshell, why don't you talk to me,
why don't you just give me sort of the bio of Bridget Nielsen herself,
wouldn't you?
Okay.
I'm Bridget Nielsen, and I'm from Sedona, Arizona.
Oh, that figures.
I should have guessed that.
Okay, yeah. I was born to Bridget.
What that means this transformational incarnation
for me is to connect my perceived
human self...
I am Groff, son of Bridge-et!
...to my divine,
infinite divine expression.
This life, for many
of us, is about incredible awakening
and the remembrance
to our galactic family
is a critical piece to realize we're beyond a body,
Earth, space, time, and more.
My puzzle piece is to bridge myself and others to the stars.
Since I was little, I would blissfully cry while looking at the night sky,
knowing within that there's so much more to existence.
Knowing within that, there's so much more to existence.
In recent years, I've remembered and deeply recalled my participation in the hybridization program and my part in it.
One of my gifts is being a medium and a connector with other realms. So I utilize this intuitive skill to connect myself and other parents with their hybrid kids.
skill to connect myself and other parents with their hybrid kids.
When I was truly willing for my life to explode into dream world and I asked my heart will full responsibility of the outcome.
Do I have hybrid children?
My soul bursted with a new level of light and life.
I haven't felt since I was a child.
I knew whatever fiber of my being that I have
kids. They assist
me on my path and fully empower me to be more me.
Knowing that when I'm living and acting in my fullest natural
expression, they will appear slash land.
In early 2013,
I've had many
future
memories of when they land
and the contact
communities where they'll integrate.
This reality is a
magical wonderland of bliss.
You can read about
some of my experience here
living with my hybrid daughter, my galactic family reunion memory, and how to make contact and remember your ET experiences.
Click here if you'd like to have a session with me.
Smiley face.
No thanks.
Click here if you'd like to read more about my children, Neo, Tio and Alice,
Lily Luna,
Twister, and Crystal.
Twister.
You've got a bunch more than that. I can't figure
out how much it costs to have a session with you,
but you do
look exactly like I thought.
What you got there, Boots?
Oh, hey there.
I'm Kirk Nielsen.
Cool.
I'm from Utah.
What a fantastic life I've had.
I've realized I can actually shift to a reality where I have hybrid children.
If you know what I mean.
Wow.
What I experience is all up to me.
Believing is seeing.
Not seeing is believing there are realities where i have no
awareness of hybrid children and there is not anything but what i could see and touch using my
senses but i didn't choose that reality i chose to wake up to the fact that I not only have hybrid children, but I get to be with them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I'm experiencing because that's what I believe in.
I have a lot of hybrid children, like 50 or more.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dude, you got to get around, don't you?
Yeah, I don't know the exact number.
After all the mixing and matching that has been done to create the hybrids,
the percentage of physical genetic material that I have left in my hybrid children
ranges from a very slight 1% or 2% some of the kids to maybe 70 or 80 percent in others
wow you got great cum dude i have very special experience where i met a group
of about i met a group of about 30 of my hybrid children
you can see the full story of me
shifting. Sorry, I read that as shitting.
As shifting.
You can read a story of me
shitting my interventional kids off at the pool.
My mind wanders
sometimes.
Just like this dick!
You can see the full story of me shifting to another dimension and meeting them by clicking on the accompanying video I made about it.
I'm very excited about our civilization merging with our galactic family.
I am putting together communities around the world where that will make
it feasible.
You can check it out, all that we're doing
at harmoniousearth.org.
Nope.
It's not Trigemius.
Harmonious Earth.
It's Harmonious Earth, but
hornier.
It takes you to harmonious earth.
Either that or it's an earth that's just very in their feelings right now.
It's an alternate dimension earth that's just hit puberty.
What do you got there, Dijon?
I'm Daniel Scranton.
I live in Ohio, California,
and I am so excited about Beating My
Hybrid Children. I had a
very close encounter with some ETs
in my bed one night.
And ever since then, I've been fascinated
by their roles and participation in our
world.
Shortly after that experience, I began studying Bashar's work,
as well as the work of Wendy Kennedy, Noah Harreld, Sean Swanson,
Lissa Royal, Barbara Mechanic, Rob Gauthier, the list goes on.
I've had the fact that I'm a hybrid parent confirmed by Norris Pleiadians and Bashar.
I became a channel about eight months after my E.T. encounter.
I have channeled many different E.T.s myself,
and as I continue to develop as a channel,
I make more and more of these psychic and energetic
connections. Meeting my kids
in the flesh, however,
that's going to be quite a heart-opening experience.
They'll be very
disappointed in me.
Not so coincidentally,
I was also a sperm donor back in the
1990s.
So there are human children walking this planet
that I'm also looking forward to meeting in person.
Did anyone want your sperm?
No, that's creepy.
Were you just informing people that they were being
donated upon?
Just left little cups around like like, on park benches.
That's free to a good home.
That's a donation.
Free kids.
You can have that donation.
Free kids.
To a good home.
I was just imagining, like, it's like a box of puppies that says free to a good home.
It's just full of, like, cups of sperm.
So this all sounds great, right?
We're all, we're all, uh, sounds really good.
Uh, seems like these are like fun people to hang out with.
Uh, and we want to kind of just be part of it.
No, you said yes.
I think you said yes.
That's what I heard.
So, uh, so now that we're all really into this, uh, we're actually going to go, uh, uh, to Bridget Nielsen's site.
Uh, because
there is a hybrid child
online course.
Yeah.
So you can connect
with your hybrid child and
remember your star connections.
So this is just like
an inner child only with aliens.
But sexier.
You hybrid child can assist you through playful presence to remember the past who can consciously create your future.
But there's only now.
There's only now, Lemon.
Course benefits.
Connect with your hybrid child.
Remember your galactic heritage and soul mission.
Bond with like-hearted soul family.
I'm sorry. Bond with like-hearted
soul family.
Rekindle your own
inner child. So set that fucking
thing on fire.
Cultivate your
extrasensory abilities.
Develop your ability to trust yourself and use your intuition,
ignite your ability to play!
It's fire.
Is this course for you?
This course is for anyone who feels drawn to the hybrid children.
It is designed to help you remember you place in the hybridization program
and give clarity to unanswered questions surrounding your cosmic connections.
If you are open,
the Play Shop will open your childlike nature
and extrasensory abilities,
which grants access to real life...
There it is again.
Telepathic.
Telepathic.
Telepathic.
I think they're trying to make a portmanteau word
out of telepathic and empathic.
It's working really well. It's very easy
to read. It's perfect.
Telepathic connection
with your hybrid children.
The hybrid children course includes
you get yourself, you get three
connective meditations,
right? You got 20
interactive videos. I'm not sure how
the videos are interact.
I guess you can pause them.
Yeah.
You can pause.
You can scrub.
You can play them at double speed.
Yeah.
Yep.
So many ways to interact.
There's a digital activity playbook.
That's really good.
Okay.
You got access to the hybrid play shop Facebook group. That gets an exclamation point because that's how exciting that is.
Then there's the Pow Wow interactive hybrid game, which sounds very appropriated.
So that's nice.
And then you get two.
I bet Pow Wow is like a fucking app or something.
Ooh, Pow Wow.
I'm going to look it up in a minute.
But then you get two different recorded group calls.
So, like, we had a Zoom, and then we recorded it.
You're welcome.
So how much would you pay for that?
Wow, I would pay upwards of less than a dollar for that.
Okay, okay.
Well, I think you said $247.
That is what it's normally.
That is what it normally is. Normally it said $247. That is what it's normally. That is what it normally is.
Normally it's $247, but you can have this for only $97.
Wow, what a bargain.
Yeah, exactly.
Hey, F+.
Yeah?
Yeah?
It's time for recipes!
Woo!
Yay!
Wow, this is the document that just keeps giving.
It really does.
Thank you, Smell of Sasquatch.
I appreciate it.
Oh, right.
Powwow was the instant messenger that John McAfee made in, like, the 90s.
Oh, wow.
I don't think that's what they mean here.
I don't think that works anymore.
That's probably not what they mean.
Oh, I would bet a small amount of money that it is.
We'll communicate with you on
ICQ.
So, nutshell, I'm going to give you a choice
here.
We got five different recipes we can
go through. These are all
recipes from,
I believe they're all from Bridget Nielsen.
Yes, they are all from BridgetNielsen.com.
So your choice.
One is medicinal and digestible black beans.
I'm so tired of all these beans that just slip right through my digestive system.
Just made a pure Olestra.
So that's one option.
The other option is a
raw fig pistachio
walnut pie.
Yeah, I'm looking at one that's got me
super interested.
Oh, okay. It's the last one.
It's called quinoa
crust pizza with raw cultured
pesto sauce. Vegan, gluten
free.
It's vegan free. Yeah, gluten-free. It's vegan-free.
Yeah, vegan and gluten-free.
Be free, vegans!
Why is your pesto cultured?
I'm curious, too.
Let's find out together.
This recipe makes crust and toppings
for two pizzas, creates 10 to 16 servings.
I create extra for the next night.
You can have all ingredients if you want 1 to 1.5 pizzas instead of 2 to 3.
If you can, please use all organic, non-GMO ingredients.
Slight smiley face.
The cultured quinoa crust.
smiley face.
The cultured quinoa crust. If you
have challenges with quinoa,
you can make this crust out of soaked almonds,
sunflower seeds, black-weld rice,
gym socks.
I don't think I have the challenges.
I think quinoa itself has the
challenges.
Whatever works for you.
In this recipe, we'll culture the crust,
which makes it more digestible.
Oh, yes, okay.
Three cups of dry quinoa.
That's quite a bit.
Quinoa.
One pound.
Sunflower seeds are all that's...
Oh, no.
Wow.
Soak overnight or five to seven hours before making.
Is this for squirrels?
One half cup apple cider vinegar.
You're making pizza, right?
Three to six.
We're making the pizza crust right now, darling.
Three to six garlic cloves, depending on your garlic preference.
One third cup olive oil.
One half cup palm butter.
One tablespoon Celtic sea salt.
Very important that it be Celtic, darling.
You don't want any of this nasty, rubbish table salt that has been polluted by the hoi polloi.
No, it has to be approved by the
Boston Celtics.
So much oil.
Raw sauerkraut!
Optional. It gives the recipe a
yummy, slightly sourdough
flavor. What the hell would make
sauerkraut, like,
what would the difference between raw and not raw
sauerkraut be?
Sauerkraut that's been fermented, but it hasn't been cooked yet?
I don't know.
Do you cook it?
Well, you heat it up if you're eating it with broths or whatever.
So, I don't know.
So, this is like three pounds of pizza crust, right?
Okay.
These are very small pizzas.
That much quinoa alone, I mean, once that subhydrates, it's just like,
real big.
Alright.
Chicago deep dish cultured quinoa.
Cook
three cups of dry quinoa.
One cup dry
to two cups water. Makes about
nine cups cooked.
And let cool.
Combine all ingredients
above in a food processor.
Jesus Christ, better than batches.
You may need
to do two rounds
of grinding in the food processor.
This recipe makes a lot.
You also might need a new food processor.
I'm kidding.
So now you have sticky,
slightly creamy,
slightly sour dough. Ooh, sticky, slightly creamy, slightly sour dough.
Ooh, sticky, icky, icky.
Why do you not have quotes around it?
A butter-up pizza tray or baking sheet with palm butter.
Butter-up pizza tray.
Oh, that's right.
Spread a one-half-inch thick layer onto sheet, or if you like thicker or thinner crust, go for it.
Before placing in the oven, sprinkle dried oregano, thyme, and basil on top, like in picture to the right.
Oh good, there's a picture. We'll have to look at that later.
Place in the oven at 365 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes.
Quinoa crust takes longer than normal crust because you're basically baking porridge.
It may be golden brown on top, but make sure it is cooked all the way through and not still gooey.
What the fuck makes any of this pesto?
That's just the crust.
Yeah, no, we're just doing the crust.
We're coming up to pesto.
Oh, sorry, you're right.
Okay.
We're only on stage one of three-stage recipe.
This has three stages to it. Oh, no.
It's okay.
I mean, some of the ingredients repeat, so you can use them again.
Okay.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Yeah. There's just some unattributed
ingredients here.
The raw vegan
pesto, because
regular pesto is
not raw.
You promised me some cultured
fucking pesto.
Yeah.
Alright.
Alright. The raw vegan pesto. Yeah. All right. All right.
The raw vegan pesto,
while crust is in the oven,
combined in blender,
blend all ingredients.
Once blended,
add olive oil
at the very end
for extra frothiness
and disturb the integrity
of its makeup.
Oh, yes,
the integrity.
Uh-huh.
What?
That's called emulsification, lady.
They get that extra frothy pesto.
This makes about one half gallon of pesto sauce that you can use to make whole pizzas.
Or use it for kelp noodle pasta and vegetable dip.
You're just going to slip kelp in there like it's no big deal.
There's so much head on my pesto.
If you like it less creamy and more green,
double the greens and have the seeds.
All right.
Okay, well, I don't think you probably need to give me the ingredients
because I know how to make pesto, right?
I mean, we all know how to make pesto, right?
Yeah, well, first you have to
rigorously prepare
your colon for a week.
So it's just basil,
it's olive oil, then some sort of nut, right?
Darling, you're so wrong.
Oh.
One pound raw pumpkin seeds,
pine nuts.
Oh, god damn, they are rich if they can waste a pound, pine nuts. Wow.
Oh, goddamn.
They are rich if they can waste a pound of pine nuts on this.
Cashews or walnuts.
Remember, pine nuts can be associated with raw pumpkin seeds.
It's totally the same thing. Yeah, it is.
Or cashews.
Or walnuts.
Yeah.
Seven to nine before, or five to seven hours before making.
Two big bins of fresh basil.
That's capital letters.
This has to be like a Trader Joe's kind of thing.
Or add fresh arugula, kale, cilantro, oregano, spinach,
go-to cola, iceberg lettuce, lime fruit by the foot,
you know, anything green.
Yeah, so the measurement
of fresh basil is
a big bin, and you'll need two of those.
I'm imagining a dumpster.
If you can't get the big bins of fresh
basil, that's okay. Just put arugula
in there. It's the same thing.
Anything green, it's literally the same thing. Anything green, it's literally
the same thing. Spinach?
Whatever.
I'm like picturing a
pesto made of
arugula and pumpkin seeds.
Two lemon! That's two
of you, darling. Juice and
one half of the rind if the lemon is organic.
Yeah, because otherwise the outside is made of poison.
No, we can't wash our fruit.
No.
Two to three cloves of garlic or more.
One usable, but I'm crazy.
Yes, yes, yes I am.
One usable?
Two tablespoons balsamic vinegar.
Only two tablespoons?
It was two tablespoons.
What the fuck? One tablespoon raw apple cider vinegar.
One half
teaspoon of Celtic
sea salt. Tablespoon, sorry.
Tablespoon. Actually, I can't tell from
what I've written whether I meant tablespoon
or teaspoon.
Well, we'll just go with it.
Celtic sea salt.
Again.
Water. To get the blender going, start with
one-fourth to one-half cup.
And then one-third cup
olive oil.
Processing toppings.
So if your mix is too
dense that your blender doesn't go,
that's okay.
Just fix that by pouring water on top of it and
then it's fine yes and we're getting to the last part which which brings up one of my favorite
tenets of raw cooking which is if the temperature is low enough or you only stick it in there long
enough for it to become a hotbed for bacteria it's still raw. Also, you baked your crust.
Yes.
For 30 minutes.
The crust is not raw, but the toppings are.
You see, that's the cultured part, is that it is growing bacteria.
Oh.
Right.
Good, good.
That raw sauerkraut that you put in there became un-raw.
Does that spoil the crust?
Yes, yes.
Depending on your crust thickness,
about eight to ten minutes before it looks done,
take it out of the oven,
slap on a nice layer of the pesto sauce,
place in the oven for three to five minutes
to let the sauce warm and merge with the crust.
Take it out one more time to put on toppings.
Toppings!
They're so fun.
They're like confetti
for my pizza. I love them.
Put in the oven for another three to five
minutes to soften and warm vegetables.
My goal is to keep the sauce and veggies
as raw as possible while still
making them warm and digestible.
And
then I have a nice little list of
topping possibilities for you.
Fresh basil, spinach, red bell pepper, olives, my favorite, And then I have a nice little list of topping possibilities for you.
Can I put cheese on this?
Fresh basil, spinach, red bell pepper, olives, my favorite, onion slices, sun-dried tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, and of course, kale.
Okay, okay. So now this is, like, I would say, like, a foot and a half tall.
Depending on the pan you use.
Just like with like my mother,
my mother used to make that layered jello stuff where,
you know,
it was like there was an orange layer and then there was a green layer and
then there was a yellow layer.
That's kind of what I'm imagining.
The layered jello is good.
Sure. Sure, sure.
And this also has colors in it.
And aliens love it.
In fact, you could probably
tell a person is an alien if they
asked for seconds of this.
There are
photos, and I'm desperately trying to figure out what the
white stuff she dolloped on top is.
Oh.
Is it just the quinoa oozing through, or is it maybe...
It's big lumps of white stuff.
It's bacteria just leaking from the crust.
Yeah, there's a picture of this, and there's nothing that she's describing that's white.
So, I guess that's pus.
I don't know.
Yeah, it looks like fucking creme fraiche.
Okay.
That's a lot of it.
Yeah.
She's drowning in it.
I have a, so like, like raw foods things like, like sun-dried tomato seems to come up a lot.
And like, you know,
it counts as raw food cause it was,
I guess,
cooked by the sun.
I mean,
to be fair,
sun-dried tomatoes do not add a little nice little pop flavor and stuff.
Yeah.
Good.
And they're,
and they're,
and they're cooked by mother Gaia.
So they,
they're,
they're good.
And it makes me wonder if there's like raw food people that like,
like build like elaborate mirror contraptions to actually cook food and be
like,
no, it's raw. Amazing. And we were like, no,
it's raw.
Amazing.
Yes,
they do.
I,
yeah.
When I was a kid,
I was fascinated with this cookbook,
which was a Shakespeare themed raw food cookbook.
So it was kind of the Venn diagram of weirdo medieval people and weirdo vegan people.
Imagine how bad that writer's jacket smells.
Oh, I see they've got a recipe
for raw cultured vegan cheese.
Mm-hmm.
Well, first, though...
Dijon?
Dijon, yeah, what you got?
First, though, I'd like to tell you all
how to make some raw chocolate Easter eggs with coconut filling.
Oh, boy!
This recipe creates one to two dozen eggs.
Can you make raw chocolate?
Is it physically possible?
There is a thing that people call raw chocolate.
Oh, I guess we'll find out.
There needs to be extreme quotes around this.
Okay, okay.
This doesn't have carob in it, does it?
You do have to make it in the nth dimension.
Where physics are different.
Just get your children to do it.
Apparently cooking the chocolate in a double boiler
doesn't count as
cooking it.
Depending on the season,
you may need to double boil
the coconut oil and the honey,
which can be done together by boiling a pan
of water and placing a glass bowl
inside. I'm going to explain how to put your pants
on.
Make sure that the
glass bowl sits on the edges
so the bowl isn't directly in the boiling
water. That's called cooking. You're going to want to turn the edges so the bowl isn't directly in the boiling water, that's called cooking.
You're going to want to turn
the knob to the right
to get the fire started. It's going to make
a tick, tick, tick sound.
What I'm getting here is that
you can call anything raw as long
as it starts out raw.
I'm going to start
calling all my food raw.
Yeah, I'm a raw chef. That's great.
So I turned the sink on, but the water's not going in the pot.
I have to put it under there?
Fuck.
I know it's hard to operate in this dimension, but give it a shot.
I'm Bully the Bull Sprite.
I love putting Bulls underwater
I have to produce a new alien child
That shows me how to use the faucet
So to make this
You're gonna need four cups of raw coconut flakes.
No.
No, I'm not.
A unique sensation for your digestive system when you've got that much fat and that much fiber at the same time.
Fucking eat it like Big League Chew.
To pair with the digestible beans, the non-digestible coconut
one tablespoon of raw coconut oil sure two tablespoons of raw honey or maple syrup which
is not the same no no maple syrup is is pure sap straight from the tree. What are you talking about? You're welcome!
One half cup of raw nut butter.
I'll capitalize.
Hell yeah.
I love macadamia nut, almond, or sunflower.
If you want, go for peanut.
Wink.
One teaspoon vanilla bean.
Just crave it in there.
Or extract. A pinch of in there. Or extract.
A pinch of sea salt.
Either or.
Not Celtic sea salt?
This person knows you can't just sub one for one vanilla bean for extract, right?
I love the leathery chew that whole vanilla beans give off in the kitchen.
Mold into whatever size eggs you desire great so okay okay wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute okay so i've got the coconut flakes the coconut oil the honey uh-huh it's basically just
really shitty no cook uh then there's like almond butter so you're saying that i do that and then i
just get in there with my hands and just like wellam, like just ram out some eggs with it?
That's right.
Or one very large egg, if you desire.
Also good.
Yeah.
Place on baking sheet with wax paper and let set in freezer for five minutes.
If the dough is too runny, place in fridge for five minutes for a firmer, moldable texture.
Ellipses.
See, that actually removes
the effect of any cooking that
might have happened. You're uncooking it.
Yeah. Oh!
Oh! Re-rawifying
it. Yeah. It's like
the end of Ferris Bueller where they drive
the car backwards. Sure, it's like being
a born-again virgin.
Ha ha!
Tell us about the raw chocolate sauce.
Now it's time to make the colon colon raw
chocolate sauce colon colon.
What's an emoji?
And then this is surrounded by
tilbys, so I'm pretty much supposed to pronounce this
double boil.
Raw chocolate sauce, double boil.
Yes, double boil. See, I told you
double boiling doesn't count.
As long as it's low temp.
Three to four tablespoons of raw honey.
Sure.
One nugget of cacao butter, a quarter pound in weight, or a half cup in size.
Hee hee, I found cacao!
It's cacao!
And then three to four nuggets of cacao paste.
One pound in a weight of two cups in size.
That's one pound.
That's a lot.
Paste comes in nuggets?
Apparently.
If you do enough panning, yeah.
Bizarre form of measurement.
And then one tailspin of maca?
Maca?
It's something that's like a hot drink.
I feel like that's like maca root comes up a lot in these hippie recipes.
I mean, it's definitely Trader Joe's thing.
I think it's like a hot drink thing or something.
Yeah, I think it's a...
It seems like it's...
I'm Googling around.
It looks like it's kind of close to kale.
Maca root. Oh. Anyway. It seems like there's one-'m Googling around, like it looks like it's kind of close to like kale. Maca root.
Oh.
Anyway, it seems like there's one tablespoon of McDonald's.
So I like that your process of making chocolate is to take the parts of chocolate and squish them back together.
Yes.
Well, I mean, that way you can make sure there's no evil chemicals.
I guess.
That's hybridization, yeah.
That's, okay.
Chemically separating all my food to pick out all the poisons.
Yep.
This makes enough to have extra for hot fudge Sundays.
As of the day.
Just have hot fudge every Sunday with coconut bliss.
And keep it in the fridge and place in warm water when you want a chocolate sauce on hand
so stir on low until melted together add more sweet or more bitter whatever you prefer
pull out your jars that say sweet and bitter
yeah yeah drizzle or dunk the cool eggs in the chocolate and indulge. Wow, how indulgent.
So, no credit,
they did actually use chocolate, it's just
they did it in a stupid way.
Yep, yep.
What about that it's raw?
Everything was cooked.
There's nothing in this that's raw.
Like I said, it all started out raw.
Can I get some raw honey so I can
cook it, please?
Everything needs to be two degrees
of separation from fire.
Yeah, yeah.
Your heating
method has to be as inefficient as possible.
Yeah.
Look, the important thing
is that it took forever. which kind of makes sense considering the
origin of raw foods and stuff like that what do we learn from any of this f plus i expected all
like the courses on uh bridget nielsen's website to be more expensive than they are but like the
one says like usually 240 something dollars but but but it's 97 but the other ones are like 27 and like 47 and i was
expecting uh much bigger money and it and it really and it really seems like there's there's
literally four people that follow them so i don't know where they get their money yeah i mean she's
got she's got courses she's got courses um i think that uh you know, I mean, COVID took a toll on a lot of things.
So, like, possibly that, you know, that's been a thing.
But I agree.
I mean, this is not, it's not money first, these people.
That doesn't seem to be their primary motivator.
I would say that their primary primary like, if you want to
fuck in the woods, just go ahead.
I don't think you need to do this
cult shit around it. It seems
extraneous, don't you think?
Well, I mean, they're just trying to be
the affordable UFO cult.
Okay.
So you don't have to sell everything.
You can't indoctrinate
people if you charge too much money.
Like, it's, I mean, the whole thing is, like, it's a fairly, like, as you said,
it's, like, a fairly small community of, you know, probably, like, maybe two dozen people
that are kind of into this, like, dumb thing.
And that's okay.
It's silly, but they don't seem to be hurting anybody.
But, like, also, I don't know how strongly they even believe in any of these particular convictions.
Like, they're just sort of playing around with these ideas when it seems like I think you guys just want to go camping, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like this is kind of kind of like the next logical step from
like reborn doll moms oh yeah like now now my my fake child doesn't even have a body my fake child
is a concept well and they and they look like re like like reborn dolls too like there's there's so
many of these of, terrible drawings.
And they're meant to be cute.
I mean, they're obviously, like, somebody was like, well, I know that big eyes look cute, so therefore these things have fucking big eyes.
And I don't, I don't, I think that sometimes some of our subjects, like, if, you know, like like these people probably do believe this particular thing.
I don't know that I necessarily think that these people believe it exactly.
It seems like they're kind of playing around with this idea.
Or at least maybe I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt in that particular case.
No, I think you're right.
But I think they're also well aware that it's going to attract people who will deeply believe in it.
Sure, and as we learned from the very beginning,
simply by going to the website you're already participating in it.
You're already a parent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a fucking shrink wrap
agreement. It's a Trojan child.
Yeah, and if you've been
to the website and want to tell us about your hybrid
children, you should come to Ball Pit.
How do I get to Ball
Pit? On the web.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, Boots.
I like things that are
kind of fun. Oh, yeah.
I went to the site called Kind of
Fun, and it was kind of fun, and that's
okay, but I didn't go back ever
because I was like, well, the guy that made that probably doesn't like spend entire days working on it no actually that's not
true i know the guy that made it and he's uh recently put a lot of work into comparatively
famous and put some uh put some like uh like some special themed rounds in it so man that's awesome
yeah so if you want to play with only george's Oops All Richards, you can now try Comparatively Famous again, and it's very fun.
That's very cool.
Hey, also, I really love exercises in futility that are pretending to be video games.
Yep.
I want a video game whose entire purpose is to depress me.
Is that possible?
Yeah, yeah.
Coming soon, or probably actually there at this time,
because that's how time works,
and we're not great at getting these episodes out fast.
No future.
You can go to Kind of Fun and find Sisyphus Clicker?
Yep, that's the one they made.
Yep.
Sisyphus Clicker, where you can click,
and Sisyphus will push a boulder up a mountain.
Okay, bye! Bye! Bye! clicker where you can click and Sisyphus will push a boulder up a mountain. Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. This is just a little samba I make all the money
No you don't
I get all the girls
No you don't
I got my own sitcom
No you don't
Huh?
No you don't
What?
No you don't
I star in the movies
No you don't
I run my own label
No you don't
Man, I only date models
No you don't
Huh?
No you don't
Hey?
No you don't Man, I got more property than Monopoly No you don't. Man, I only date models. No, you don't. Huh? No, you don't. Hey. No, you don't.
Man, I got more property than Monopoly.
No, you don't.
Man, I drive a flying car.
No, no, you don't.
Man, I got two pet sharks.
Your mom lets you have sharks in the house, dude.
Yeah, what?
Come on, man.
This all is over, man.
You're not the friend.