The F Plus - live8b: wikiHow The Game Show | F Plus Live 8 | Heat 2
Episode Date: March 1, 2020King Lou Fernandez - How to Survive a Freestyle Rap Battle Jack Chick - How to Become Pope Lemon - How to Report Illegal Immigrants Kumquatxop - B.A.B.E.S. (Bay Area Bug Eating Society) Don't... walk on the table, Jack. Heat 1 | Heat 3 | Heat 4 | Final Heat
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Discussion (0)
Portland, Oregon, I did not come here to deprive you of wikiHow.
Portland, Oregon, I came to your city to bring you more wikiHow.
Buddy Bread, who are our next players?
He's a full-time doula and part-time men's rights advocate,
hailing from my neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.
Also Long Island, New York, King Lou Fernandez!
Come on down!
Come on down!
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the state
our next guy was twitching with unexplained hate
he gnashed and he howled with a big grumpy frown
from Shitbeard, New Hampshire
Jack Chick, come on down! From Mayochup, Minnesota
Our next competitor enjoys historical Star Wars reenactments
And competitive ass vaping
His likes His likes?
His likes are bitching,
and his dislikes are whatever you like.
Lemon!
Come on down!
Come on down!
Hey, give it the fuck up for Robin!
He is the assistant editor of Myth Aficionado magazine
and recently took a vow of silence,
hailing from Stupid Shoes, North Dakota,
come quatsa!
Come on down!
All right!
King Lou Fernandez! Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Lou, are you ready to press the button?
Okay.
Absolutely.
Then press the button.
This is very exciting Lou Fernandez your topic is
how to survive a freestyle rap battle.
Fantastic.
Well, we lose.
Thank you, sir.
Begin.
Okay, all right.
Hi, everybody.
Hello, how are you?
All right, everyone.
I want everyone to know we're going to discuss how to survive a freestyle rap battle.
Rap battles can be a great opportunity for a rapper to showcase their talents.
In a rap battle, the rapper with the best delivery lyrics and crowd response usually wins.
By writing your own rap songs, freestyling as often as possible, staying relaxed and feeling the energy of your crowds.
You'll not only survive these battles,
you'll thrive.
Rising to the top of the
heap, as is often said
in rap songs.
Oh, wait.
How is this? Oh, I see.
Wait, I don't see. Oh, I
see. Oh, brother.'t see. Oh, I see.
Oh, brother.
All right, part one, training your brain.
Study videos online of battles.
Check out websites like Wrapped FM.
Study some freestyle raps done by accomplished artists who are well-known for their rap battles.
You can learn a lot from rappers like Idea,
Atmosphere,
Tech9, AMB,
Nas, Eminem,
Tupac, Biggie,
Jin and Biggie. And Plies.
And good
battles to look up include the Blaze
Battles from HBO, Scribble Jam,
among others. There's also a scene
in the movie 8 Mile that is
good.
I've never heard of that.
That was free-form
freestyle movie-making. They just set
the cameras up and let them go.
It is a great representation of what freestyle
rap battle is really like.
Pay careful attention to the
techniques those artists use in battle and try to
mirror them, which will help you enhance your own techniques
Look for any upcoming rap battles in your area
Checking out live performances can give you an idea
of the kind of energy environment freestyle artists must learn to perform in
Meet single battlers in your area
It's, yeah.
It's a lot like this.
Rap battles can get pretty intense,
especially when you're on the spot.
Rap number two, write rap songs.
It's part of a rap battle.
Not rap dances.
You know, it's not fair to freestyle when you've written it.
Write down anything that comes to mind
and try to rhyme it.
Write rap lyrics and then choose
the best rhymes to go with them.
Consider getting a rhyming dictionary.
The ability to write an effective battle rhyme
will aid when it comes to the battle.
Note some rappers don't write everything
down. They keep everything in
their head so they can only talk about
what's quote unquote real.
Don't try to force
rhymes all the time. Just let it
come naturally and do your best.
Number three is
of course learn to play the trumpet
because of course it's not for the rapping it's just so they can get laid yeah that's right
yeah and let all the people who learn to play the trumpet and let all those people know who's boss.
MatPat has more information on his YouTube,
quote-unquote, breaking wiki how trumpeting like a boss
is a good cure.
This makes no sense.
Playing the trumpet will distract them
and guarantee your victory.
And arouse.
Totally true.
Totally true.
That would be a surprise.
A lot of rap battles are showing a secondary skill
that people might not expect.
I mean, I feel like maybe if they picked up the trombone,
that might escalate it a bit.
Lou, I think once again you're confusing rap battles
with Miss America pageants.
Check my style.
The four,
play basketball.
Sports and rap
may be completely unrelated,
but a sport like basketball
requires a lot of
improvised movement
that will help you
further train your brain
and help with your performance.
That's actually a great rhyme.
Train and brain, just for the future.
Sports can help your brain learn to flip a switch and get in the zone.
This is an important technique to learn to block and distract
and perform under pressure when your moment arrives.
I mean, I'm heating up.
Perform under pressure when your moment arrives.
I mean, I'm heating up.
Five, practice.
Practice freestyling.
Rapping without pre-written lyrics on the spot or impromptu should be done anytime, anywhere, and as much as you can.
While you're at it, practice freestyling battle rhymes,
even if it means looking at a photo and thinking about an ex.
What rhymes with Linda?
Should I
practice that along with the trumpet?
If you're going to come up with some wicked, mean
trumpet to trumpet at somebody.
Or should I just not practice the trumpet?
You want to confuse
them, right? You've got to know how to play the trumpet. You want to confuse them, right?
You've got to know how to play the trumpet.
Do whatever you can to come up with clever new ways to insult.
Whenever you think you've run out of freestyle,
things to freestyle about, just keep going.
The longer you force yourself to rap without giving up,
the stronger and more flexible you become mentally.
Number two, forming your battle plan.
Outline your performance.
You won't have time to write it down,
but you need to learn to mentally outline your performance while you wait your turn.
In between each round of a rap battle,
you have a few minutes while your opponent takes their turn.
Make the most of your time by figuring out
your ideas and how to organize them
in your next verse.
Figure out which line is your best.
You may have to choose which one
to lead with or save it until the end.
Learning how to highlight your best
disses will make them stand
out and be more memorable and help you
win over the audience.
Number two.
Okay, ignore the last five guys line, but the next line is pretty funny.
I really liked your rap about me.
It was mean.
Number two.
Use strategy.
Don't come at every opponent of a rap battle the same.
Figure out your method to take down your opponent before they go on stage.
By doing your homework and studying the competition, you can find weaknesses to exploit.
Read The Art of War by Sun Tzu.
That's right.
That's right.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
For years, businessmen have used the art of war
to develop the strategic thinking about being successful.
The same methods can help you be better, too.
You may want to choose to go after your opponent right away
or defuse any attacks you think they are planning to come at you with.
Self-criticism may be unexpected by the opponent
because, you know, when shitting on yourself
is really the first step.
It can help you be better at battle too.
Self-chrism can be explained by that.
In 8 Miles, Final Battle Rap,
for example, BB Rabbit
was put to spit first
and decided to insult himself
before Papa Doe got a chance.
Yet, I'm white.
Yeah, I'm a bum.
I do it at trailer to save my mom.
The boy featured Uncle Tom.
Uncle Tom?
Yeah.
That was insane.
Luke Fernandez!
King Luke Fernandez!
I'll be available for rap battles after the show.
I wrote this.
Freelance rap battle coach Lou Fernandez.
Jack Chick!
Jack!
Okay.
Fantastic.
Fantastic.
Well, that went as well as expected.
I love that you thought that was a good idea.
I'll just get up on this table here Yeah
And the normal thing will happen
When I get up on a bar table
FYI that table is not very sturdy
Oh you're kidding
Oh I had no idea
You colluded with that table to steal my thunder
Not a stepping table
I dislike it
Jack Chick are you ready to press the button
in a responsible way?
I mean, no.
The button is on a table.
When you're ready, press that button.
Let's go, Whammy.
That was nuts.
It's exciting.
It's exciting. That's exciting.
A wrestler.
Jack Chick!
Please tell us!
Jack Chick, please tell us how to become both!
The Pope is the head of the Catholic Church and since 1929, he is also
the head of the world's smallest sovereign
state, the Vatican. Technically,
the only requirements to become Pope
are that you are male and a practicing Catholic.
However, since Pope Urban in 1378,
no Pope has been elected outside
of the College of Cardinals. To become Pope,
begin by becoming a priest and working your way up
through the Catholic hierarchy until you are elected
by your peers.
Checks out.
Why do I need this whole doc for this?
Part one, becoming a priest.
Step one, become a Catholic.
Step one, become a Catholic.
That's why we invited you here, everybody.
Are you all saved?
Truth is, we've been with God.
We've always been behind him.
So that's what you've all been doing wrong, right?
You haven't been Catholic.
Is this part of the dark carnival? So, like, do I really
need to go through what the fuck it takes to
become a Catholic?
Yes.
Alright.
To become Pope, you must be both male and
Catholic. If you're not born into the Catholic
faith, you will need to convert. This process is
called the rite of Christian initiation.
I mean that, too. This is a process that will take time. You need to become educated in the
Catholic faith and the ways of the church. This process is called catechism. You will need to
be baptized. This occurs after your education is finished. Becoming a Catholic is an exploration
of faith. You must be guided and mentored, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Step two, consider your calling.
Being a priest is not just a job, it's a lifestyle.
Nice.
So, I became a priest,
and I was like, I'm just a priest, but like, I'm not
really, it's not really into, like, I wish
I had a reason to be a priest.
So, Lemon, you know that priests are not allowed to
marry or engage in sexual activity, right?
I didn't, That sounds great.
Okay, yeah. No, I know. That's obviously super good.
Yeah, no, exactly, right?
So, spend some time considering your vocation.
You should consider your gifts.
Are you compassionate? Is your faith strong?
Do you hate sex?
These are some important qualities for a priest.
Get some advice.
Talk to your own priest.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
Okay.
Step three.
Take a leadership role.
As you get older, you can begin to more actively consider whether a career as a spiritual leader is right for your life.
Around the world, many dioceses offer leadership programs for Catholic youth.
Ask your local priest if this is an option for you. Many of these
programs offer, whatever, I don't care.
Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Step four, get an education.
Yeah!
Yeah!
You must learn.
I mean, if I know one thing about faith,
right, it's super duper
predicated on education.
Corinthians 1.1, read a book, read a book, read a motherfucking book.
Corinthians 1.01.
I forgot that that was right before Gimme That Christian Side Hug.
Get an education.
It'll be useful to take classes in a foreign language.
The Pope is an international figure, so communication is an excellent skill to learn.
Especially if you actually become Pope.
But not otherwise.
Naturally, to do this, talk to your guidance counselor.
Most high schools have a guidance counselor.
So, you know...
How old are you?
If you're out of high school school go to a fucking high school
and talk to the goddamn guidance counselor
you shithead every pope
started in high school what are
you waiting for
well you're not the pope yet
you have to so it's it's cool
it's cool just you know it's fine
step five continue your learning.
You will need to go to either a traditional college or seminary to become a priest.
To enter a seminary, you need either a high school diploma or a GED.
I have no idea who this is targeted to anymore.
Step six, choose the right education.
You don't want to go to one of those liberal arts colleges that might teach you about the humanities.
Your spiritual
journey is important, so it's a big choice
to decide where to hone the skills you need to
follow your project. ITT tech.
I mean, that's the end
of that chapter.
Alright, part
two, step one. Be an
effective priest.
Once you become a priest, you want to make sure...
E-C-C-I-P.
Once you become a priest, you want to make sure that you excel at your job.
This is the best way to earn a promotion in the ranks of the church.
A good priest is dependable and helps the members of his church and the community.
Yeah, now step two, hone your people skills.
After you are a priest, you earn the designation monseigneur.
This means you need to make a good impression of people who are in leadership positions above you.
So you're fucking expected to, you know, treat the people above you well.
That's weird.
Step three, become a bishop.
Nice.
Oh, okay.
You gotta level up.
A bishop is essentially the chief priest,
or pastor, of a diocese.
A diocese is a territory of whatever.
Step four, become cardinal.
I mean, this is just a fucking hierarchy.
All right.
Let's go to the community Q&A here.
Question, can I meet the pope? All right. Let's go to the community Q&A here. Question.
Can I meet the Pope?
Community answer.
Yes, but it would have to be at a designated greeting,
which can be difficult.
Question.
How do they make the smoke black or white?
Jez.
According to Michael Jackson,
it doesn't matter if the smoke is black or white.
Question.
I hated that joke so much.
What?
He was the king of pop.
Question.
What did Pope Francis do before he was elected?
He was a cardinal. No fucking shit.
Oh, snap!
Sick burn! Question.
Why can't we have an African pope?
Community answer.
There are not any laws against it.
Question. Can I become a pope as a Muslim?
Fuck it. Let's give it a shot.
Answer. No.
That sounded like an HBO pitch.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Community answer. No. Nobody Wikihow is deemed to
That's an HBO series
To weigh in on that subject
Mr. Lou, there's a couple of shirts
Underneath the chair that you're sitting in
Could you hand those to me, please?
Is anybody here like Lou Reads the Internet?
Fantastic.
Enjoy.
Just remember,
a vote for the person who gave you t-shirts of the different podcast.
Don't vote for the person
whose t-shirts they are.
Fucking next level shit.
Fucking next level shit.
Respect.
I respect that.
Fantastic.
Jack Chick!
Jack Chick, everybody.
Hey guys, do you want to vote for me?
Here's somebody else's merch.
Lemon!
No!
No!
No!
Yes, no, that's right.
You vote there.
Even though that way seems really good.
If you want me to catch you, you can
walk on the table.
I highly recommend stepping on the table.
It's really solid.
My brother bought me that beer.
Lemon,
are you ready to press the big button?
Fuck yeah, I'm ready to press the big fucking
button.
Which one of these are you the most excited about getting? Right there. That's what I want. Then big button. Fuck yeah, I'm ready to press the big fucking button. Which one of these are you the most excited
about getting? Right there.
That's what I want. Then big button.
Hit the big button.
Let's go.
Center my chakra. Here we go.
Who built this software?
Lemon!
Wow! Lemon! Lemon, please inform this audience how to report illegal immigrants.
For more years.
For more years.
Most illegal immigrants, also known as illegal aliens.
Yes.
Undocumented immigrants and EWIs.
Oh, fuck.
Oh.
Foul, foul.
People cheat. Official complaint.
While improper
entry into the United States is a
misdemeanor, unlawful presence,
living in America without proper legal status
is only a civil offense. Just because
someone is currently an illegal immigrant
does not mean that they entered the country
illegally. In the United States and other
countries, illegal immigration rapidly...
No, that's facts. Fuck that shit. Part number one.
Identifying
illegal immigrants.
Okay.
So seeing as how this is being recorded,
never make snap decisions based on appearance.
In many countries, certain ethnic groups,
certain ethnic groups.
Even the microphones.
There we go.
I'm good.
I got it.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine.
Okay.
Hey, the person's race.
Ask yourself, would I honestly report someone who looks like me or only someone who looks different?
If you would not, you're doing this for racist reasons.
Exactly.
That's what I'm doing.
Exactly.
That's what I'm doing.
The person's ability to speak your country's official language.
Legal immigrants sometimes struggle with a new language for years.
The person's job or lack thereof.
A manual labor doesn't mean a foreign person is illegal.
It's always best to be safe.
Look for definitive proof. Accusations
that someone's an illegal
immigrant aren't supported by some
sort of evidence are baseless
for much of a better chance of
being taken seriously by law enforcement
agencies.
And, more importantly, a better chance that you're correct in the accusation, gather evidence.
Remember, when trying to find proof that someone's an illegal immigrant, don't do anything illegal
yourself, except for if you're a sovereign citizen, nothing is technically illegal.
Checkmate,
Mexicans!
Am I being detained?
Am I free to go?
Am I being detained? Am I free to go?
Am I being detained? Am I free to go?
Why aren't you answering? Am I being detained?
I'm recording this.
I've put bulleted lists in my
wikiHow article for no
fucking reason. A background
check raises suspicion.
If the results of a normal legal
background check show that someone is not a
legal citizen, you're justified
in contacting the authorities. Consider hiring
a private investigator
or, if you live in the United States,
running a free e-verify check
via the Department of Homeland Security's website.
That website, once again,
is lemonmadethis.fuckyoubitch.
Jokes or brags by a person about his illegal status.
Yeah, what's up?
Yeah, it's hard for me to get health care.
What, bitch?
I fear ice every day.
Fuck you.
Fuck that.
Use available public records,
government information that's freely available,
and the public will can help inform your choice
to report someone as an illegal immigrant.
Particularly useful are court summons,
which are available on the public record.
Local immigration courts will have information about summons.
Part two, reporting illegal immigrants to the proper authorities.
Protecting your freedom, you bitches.
Lemon, what do I do if I've called so many times
they won't take my call anymore?
Report criminal illegal immigrants
directly to the local police.
Most illegal immigrants.
Some take advantage of their
off-the-grid status to engage
in serious crime.
Wait, if I'm a sovereign citizen, don't I hate the police?
Oh my god,
contact ice.
I hate the police
when I try to stop you from doing it.
Just throw that whole page away for being cursed.
There's so much time left.
Don't skip.
Apparently, you've never met a person
who can vamp for ten minutes.
All right.
I have several silly voices.
I have several silly voices.
Silly voice number one.
That was a really long heckle.
Can you write that down?
Submit it to me.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Please submit that directly to the local police. Lemon at T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S.
Illegal immigrants can and do contribute to a country through their work and consumption,
as well as by paying some taxes.
Another proposed fix would be to allow illegal immigrants to make contributions legally by lightening the restrictions on work visas.
No!
No!
What?
Ugh. It's all falling away. the restrictions on work visas. No! No! What? Ugh!
It's all falling away.
Makes no sense.
That sounds like communism to me.
Uh, step number four,
be sure to vote.
Just to show them how fun it is.
Yes, I'm registered, and here is my address.
Hey, Kumquatsop.
Yes, hello.
You got a question you want to ask me?
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
If someone's visa has run out, can I report that person? Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
If someone's visa has run out, can I report that person?
If you are absolutely certain that the person is overstaying his visa,
it is up to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What should I do if I am married to the illegal immigrant?
And he uses...
Oh, a nightmare.
And, and, and, and, and, and,
he uses many aliases and deals drugs.
What?
I don't...
An alias like Lemon?
It sounds like a great...
Ask for 15%!
Remove yourself from that situation
to someplace safe
and anonymously report your spouse!
But ignore them first!
I'm done. How...
I'm done.
How do I...
Yay!
Just remember,
vote Lemon and vote Fascism.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28,
29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49,
50, 51, 52, 53, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58,
Give it up for Lemon.
Yay!
Our last competitor for the heat, Komquats Up! Komquats Up!
Sick sword, dude.
Let's see that big board.
Komquats Up, are you ready to press the big button? Oh, whammy!
Kumquats up. You are reading babes or the Bay Area Boggy Society.
Lucky.
So lucky.
Sergio Argonizzi.
And the clock starts now.
So proud.
Thank you, thank you, Adam.
I've really come out of my shell.
More, more.
The following are visitor comments left in the guest book of Babes,
or the Bay Area Bug Eating Society,
a website devoted to the enjoyment and fun of cooking insects as a meal.
Hi, my name is Martha Bromski.
One day in November, there I was, sitting beneath a willow tree,
quietly thinking about my life, the journeys I have traveled through.
It was November, which is characteristically the Wombatiklaus houching time.
This fascinated creature leaves its Wondorororus purple cocoon in November.
And I was sitting beneath the willow tree in November.
Suddenly I felt a blip-bop on my head.
And what is this?
What in the name of all that is holy is this? I don't flip-flop on my head. And what is this? What in the name of all
that is holy is this? I don't know.
I thought of my mother.
My life
plashed. It plashed.
It plashed before my eyes. And I became
still. As I remembered, I had lied
about brushing my teeth as a child.
And would our savior send me to hell?
I don't know. But then I had an epiphany.
She reached down and up and felt for the gooey mass
that had twisted itself into my joyous locks.
Brown with streaks of mugwing-like gray,
I felt the gooey tentaculars of the bug creature in my hand
and looked down.
It was the poison of the creature.
I was doomed to die in three hours!
Fantastic.
How does Levo's over over there Jimmy Franks?
I knew I had to party it up
So I fulfilled my lust to eat every bug I saw
Crickets, crunchy and delectable
And a bit like chocolate and mud
And so do we
Oh, who needs chocolate when you have bugs
Bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs
Now all I eat is bugs
Hey, hey hey hey
I work at Walmart
I just recently had
four wisdom teeth pulled
and I haven't been
the same since
I went to the dentist
and they gave me something
that knocked me out
I don't remember a thing afterwards
just waking up at home
and my mom there
by my side
gave me medicine
but I have changed
something had to have happened
while I was drugged
I was weak the next day
after the surgery
but I went to work
the next day
but I have all this energy,
and I ate for four days,
and was pudding and milkshakes,
and I finally had a full meal today.
After nine days, I BBQ'd sausage,
tons of chicken-flavored rice,
and a salad,
but ever since I woke up that day after the surgery,
I have been acting weird.
I had this boost of physical energy
and mental awareness,
and I just see things differently,
and the two days after the surgery,
I ran two miles,
and I hadn't ran a long while,
and I started exercising, and doing sit-ups, and push-ups, and everything else.
And I have more smarts, and I have goals, and I talk a lot at work, and I'm just more aware of everything.
And I finally have a craving for bugs. I have a craving for bugs. I have a craving for bugs.
I have a craving for bugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It all started when I was on milkshakes for breakfast.
Every morning, after I'm done running, I would make a shake, and one cup of milk,
and cinnamon, and a spoonful of Ovalt a shake and one cup of milk and cinnamon and
a spoonful of Ovaltine and one banana.
I heard Ovaltine.
But then I just started thinking about putting
one cricket. We're like a third of the way in, folks.
I only understood the word Ovaltine anyways
in the last five minutes. But now I just can't stop thinking
about other dishes and anything bugs in general.
And weird happened when I went in surgery.
Like I went on my body or though heaven
or something. Check out. It's just so weird. And thanks a bunch for reading my story. Like I went on my body or the heaven or something. Check out.
It's just so weird.
And thanks a bunch for reading my story.
And I'm going to check on the website.
Are there any cases of this happening?
Is this me or what?
Please try to help.
By the way, I think I may be putting a crack in my cheek.
What is this?
Yeah.
I don't know if you've noticed yet, but the document's actually written entirely in Dutch.
Hi.
Hi. God, I fucking love death metal. I don't know if you've noticed yet, but the document's actually written entirely in Dutch. Hi! Hi!
God, I fucking love death metal.
I like to eat ants!
After I burn them with my magnifying glass on an ice sprinkling day!
I have been doing this since I was five!
I burn them!
I burn them?
I burn them.
And they are crispy!
I sprinkle them with powder sugar.
I then put them in a flaky Ritz cracker.
My name is Missy.
Hey, when I was a young pop about 35,
I had the queerest idea ever.
I was a French food fanatic then,
and I even had escargot for breakfast.
I must admit, I was a tad bit of an obsession.
I had inquired of my youth.
Let's not go to the specifics of my younger sister, Pamela,
running off with her Frenchman, Francis.
Anyways, I was looking for an alternate path.
At the ripe age of 35, I was still living with the laugh of my life.
A lot of fears as I departed.
I cannot wait to run this shit through a closed captioning service.
Anyways, she was dusting about when she dropped the gold handle, feather duster, and screamed a piercing
scream, and that would haunt me for the rest of my
short life.
I grabbed that
bugger of a bug and squeezed it into
me. I then
had an epiphany. What if
this tasted similar to a snail?
So I
raised the bug above my head and proclaimed,
I shall devour!
And I plunged the bug into my wedding trap
of a shine of white wounds.
It was an experience.
An epiphany, I say.
The taste, hard to describe.
Nutty at first, of course.
But then after the taste, I must say,
that drew me to where I am now,
a lonely four- to five-year-old
instead of the Atkins chose a bug-only diet
to further pursue the delights of insects,
the Atkins,
manifestations that are currently growing in my esophagus.
I have decided that I will be the devoutest member
of your ye olde loveless society.
I love this place, this San Mateo.
So many parks are waiting to be dug up
to find splendid yolo-lo-lo-less
leaped juice of treasures,
compact nutrition, tantalizing the taste buds.
Now, whoever claimed that bugs taste like chicken were far, far wrong.
Yeah, the taste is the meaning of my life to me.
And my friends.
So I thank you for making me possible to submit my feelings for bugs on the internet.
Now everyone will realize my passion for bugs.
it. Now everyone will realize my passion for bugs.
I, Bugsy,
as I have changed it,
am eternally grateful.
Thanks a
bugillion.
Nice.
Hi.
Hi, my name is Roy.
Hi, Roy. One night at dinner,
my mom was cooking and I was eating bugs.
That's my whole story.
I'm Roy.
MVP! MVP! MVP!
MVP! MVP!
Harry Potter!
Shine a little glowworm.
Glimmer, glimmer, glimmer, glimmer, glimmer. Shine a little glowworm. G glimmer glimmer glimmer glimmer
shine a little glow worm glimmer glimmer glimmer
lead us less to far
we wander love sweet
voices calling yonder shine
little glow worm glimmer glimmer glimmer
hey there don't get dimmer dimmer dimmer
line the path below and above
and lead us unto love glow little
glow worm fly the
fire glow like an incandescent wire.
Glow for the female of the species.
Turn on the AC and the DC.
Oh, this night could use a little brightening.
Light up, you old little bug, lighten it.
When you gotta glow, you gotta glow, glow, glow.
Glow, little glow worm.
Glow, little glow worm. Glow, little glowworm Glow, little glowworm
Glow, little glowworm
Glow and glimmer
Swim through the sea of the night
Little swimmer
Thou aeronautical bull
We will illuminate
Aren't you glad you paid for this?
See how the shadows deepen
Drark and you and your chick
Should get to sparking
I got a gal that I love so
Glow, little glowworm
Glow, little glowworm
Turn the key on.
You are equipped with taillight neon.
You got a cute vest pocket.
Mazda!
Mazda!
Mazda!
Don't watch out!
Yeah!
Yeah!
And now it is time for you
to choose
before...
Before we do that,
I want to say
that was the dumbest shit.
Yeah.
Really took the air out of my intro, but yeah. I know, but you know, that was the dumbest shit. Yeah.
Really took the air out of my intro,
but yeah.
I know, but you know,
so there's maybe arguably one or two things that I'm good at.
JavaScript and QA are not among them.
This is what happens when you outsource.
If hypothetically I might have fucked up
launch today
and made
it so that you could vote twice.
Oops.
I'm not saying that did happen.
I'm just saying if hypothetically you noticed
that happen, don't
do it. Yeah. Honesty is
very important tonight.
Please go to the
motherfucking.best and vote to the motherfucking.best
and vote for the
motherfucking best.
This is
absurd.
Oh, how weird.
That's too funny.
That is hilarious.
I appreciate your support.
It's ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
That's cool. I didn't realize we were supposed to stand. I've had some cricket flour chips. They were terrible.
They were terrible.
That was too funny.
Hey, Achilles.
Good luck.
Come quads up!
Holy shit.
Holy shit. Holy shit.
All right.
What a heat.
That was, that was,
that was not the experience that I expected,
but definitely the result I expected.
All right, here's the thing, motherfuckers.
We're going to take about five minutes.
We're going to take about a five-minute break,
longer than the last one, but about a five-minute break, longer than the last one, but about
five-minute break. Go ahead, get yourself some beer.
Once again, tip your bar staff
very, very generously. Five minutes,
we're going to be coming back with another heat of this thing.