The F Plus - live8d: wikiHow The Game Show | F Plus Live 8 | Heat 4
Episode Date: March 1, 2020bumpgrrl - r/creepybossta Jimmyfranks - How to Fake Your Own Death Bunnybread - How to Throw a LEGO-themed Party (for Adults) STOG - How to Vomit While Driving Hands above the waist, Bunnybre...ad. Heat 1 | Heat 2 | Heat 3 | Final Heat
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Our final preliminary heat to decide our final contestant who will, very importantly, win this and perhaps other exciting prizes delivered by a secret celebrity guest.
Mr. Rod Roddy, please tell who our final heat is.
Mr. Rod Roddy, please tell who our final heat is.
She's an adjunct pegging instructor at her local community college in, oh yeah, sure, Saskatchewan, Bunker.
Come on down. Now throw it out there.
Good.
Good.
Hailing all the way from...
God damn it, Linda! will you just give me a minute
please Pennsylvania
he's currently working on the Vegas
strip as an Elvis Costello impersonator
Jimmy
come on
down
welcome okay Welcome
Okay
Show my ass
I feel that ass
Born on a mountain
Raised in a cave
Trucking and fucking is all he craves
From opioid crisis Indiana
Buddy Brad
Act surprised from Opioid Crisis, Indiana, Buddy Brand!
Act surprised! Surprise!
When he's not teaching
at Dick Van Dyke's school for accents,
this refined gentleman enjoys officiating cat weddings and nothing else.
From Dammit Bobby, Texas,
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh! Come on, Asai.
He's real!
Shit!
Shit!
Yeah!
Pop girl! Shit! Bump Girl!
Bump Girl, I have many questions to ask you,
but the only one that I'm going to ask you at this particular moment
is Bump Girl, are you ready to push that button?
No.
Bump Girl, push that button!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I This is where the FBI should go.
I'm going to find you and I'm going to fucking kill you.
Bump girl, this is a Reddit of creepy boss activities.
Posted to rrelationship underscore advice by menu messages 12 July 2017.
Now deleted.
Hot.
So a little background to start off with.
I work for a non-profit where I'm the supervisor.
Oh, by the way, this isn't me and this is stuff I'm reading.
Hot. Where I'm the supervisor of ten people that work under me.
Last fall, a young woman, let's call her Jennifer,
started to work with us through an outside fellowship.
Now, she's the kind of person that just commands attention
as soon as she walks into the room.
God, she's hot.
No, wait, that didn't say that.
Hot.
She's very pretty.
Oh, wait, it did say that.
Hot.
But just has one of those personalities that, like, everyone likes, you know?
Hot.
I had to train her when she first started out,
but was very surprised by how quickly she picked everything up.
We do a lot of legal work, and it's not easy for people
without previous experience to learn so quickly.
So this should give you a good idea of the kind of person she is.
I immediately took a liking to her because of her work,
but also how easy she was to talk to.
During our training, I would say we became pretty close.
So much so that I would text her outside of work
about non-work-related stuff.
Also, she sends me Snapchats a lot.
Random stuff. Like shows
she's watched like Friends do.
Yeah, Joey and Rachel.
No, Friends is not capitalized.
Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry buddy.
My bad. Hot.
We even go to happy hour alone sometimes
and I think I am closest to her
at work. One time she even had lunch with my mom and I
when my mom was visiting town.
So she is someone I consider...
Okay, blah, blah.
She is someone I consider a very good friend,
and I want the best for her.
Now, here's the problem.
About two months into working with us,
I found out she has a boyfriend.
Oh, not hot!
Not hot!
Not hot! How are you going to get back Oh, not hot! Not hot! Not hot!
How are you going to get back?
Ugh!
Not hot!
I don't approve of this whole sex thing.
That's not my problem.
All caps, bold, to clarify, I do not have any romantic interests and do not care that she has a boyfriend.
has a boyfriend.
I really don't care that she has a boyfriend.
But felt
a little... This is not a rap song.
Oh, no.
What's up?
But felt a little manipulated
that she never mentioned him before.
I am supervisor.
Been training her for a few months.
We have been talking about a lot of stuff,
so it just comes off as hiding something.
People who work in small offices, Linda,
will know what I'm talking about.
It was a little hard for me to trust her after that,
but I kept it to myself, because communication doesn't matter.
She was still a great employee,
and her having a boyfriend did not change anything,
and her having a boyfriend did not change anything because apparently she has been with this guy for five years now.
What the fuck?
No, he doesn't live in the same city
and they barely see each other from what I understand.
So months go by and everything is going really well.
Yeah, so much so that I was even thinking about
recommending her for a promotion.
We became even closer during this time.
This is how the CIA gets in your business.
About two weeks ago,
our parent group is hosted a fundraising gala.
I asked Jennifer if she would like to go with me, and she said yes.
I always have a great time with her, so I was really looking forward to it.
The night of the gala, I called to see when I should pick her up,
and she said her boyfriend was in town, and he would drop her off,
so she will just meet me there.
This is the first red flag I noticed.
Is this guy
really that insecure that he can't even let her date
take her to this gala?
Five years?
And this insecure?
That's a problem.
But I just agree and say, okay, I will meet her there.
I get to the gala
and start to mingle.
She eventually gets there,
but I don't approach her.
Honestly, still pretty
bothered by what happened earlier, so I
wanted her to come to me and apologize.
Yeah!
Yeah! Don't put the pussy
on the pedestal, that's right.
She came up to me
and we talked, but she never
apologized for what she did,
but I ignored it, just like
a husband.
Soon,
soon we were it, just like a husband. Soon we were talking, just like before,
and honestly really enjoying each other's company.
Is it possible to neg yourself?
I do it all the time.
That's when I noticed the second red flag.
Jennifer and I were talking to another couple.
Another couple, to another couple. Another couple.
Notice another couple.
When she excused
herself because she had to take a call
from her boyfriend.
I thought it was pretty rude
and that she's never done something
like this before.
A little later she comes back and says
that her boyfriend is picking her up
and she will leave early.
Third red flag!
Oh.
She was very much looking forward to this night
and suddenly she wants to leave early.
You know when you can just tell someone isn't
happy in their situation? Yeah, I
definitely felt it right away.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, no, it's fine.. Yeah. Right away. Right away. Three red flags.
Yeah, no, it's fine.
Three red flags later. A little while later, he gets there, and I shit you not, this idiot walked into the gala
wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
Bullshit!
Bullshit!
Shorts and a t-shirt's all fucked up, man.
I almost wanted to laugh, but I didn't want to embarrass him.
Jennifer introduces me to him, and I make pleasantries.
But I do make a joke about how must feel a little out of place.
He said something like, nah, not really sticking around, so not a big deal.
Okay, I don't really get what that has to do with anything.
My point was that he was at a black tie event dressed like he's going to the gym.
I don't care if you're five minutes
late or five hours. That's weird.
So you can already
see he's getting an attitude with me
for no reason.
None. Nothing.
I follow up with,
uh, well, there are some really important
people here, and his response was something like,
I've met senators wearing flip-flops,
so I think I'll be okay.
Holy shit, I'm getting angry writing this.
You see what I'm talking about, right?
You see what I'm talking about, right?
He completely rubbed me the wrong way.
So anyways, as she is leaving,
I tell her to let me know if she gets home okay.
It gets around midnight,
and she hasn't sent me a single message.
So I sent her a text, and no reply.
I sent her another around 1 a.m., because I'm worried, and I just want to let her know if she's okay. It gets around midnight and she hasn't sent me a single message. So I sent her a text and no reply. I sent her another around
1am because I'm worried and I just want to
let her know if she's okay. No reply.
I have a hard time sleeping that night
because I am genuinely concerned.
It's just the kind of person I am.
Listen up. This could save your life.
I need to know my friends are
okay or it bothers me.
Bob Cole! Okay. Or it bothers me. Both go!
Hug it out.
Hug it out.
Hug it out.
Funny bread?
Hands above the waist.
Hands above the...
No, no, no.
Not there.
No, no, no.
No, no. We'll describe... Yeah,, not there. No, no, no.
We'll describe... Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to have to put the hashtag times up at the end of yours.
Oh, that's me.
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Hello, yes. Hello, yes.
Hello, friends.
Oh.
I just want to say before we get started that K-Thor, fantastic Dom subsession.
And he is offering a 10% off coupon with the coupon code FPLUS if you go to his website.
Make me drink my piss.
But you have to drink his pee to get the coupon.
Jimmy Franks, elegant voiced, infamous man of wonder.
Please push that button.
Push.
Push.
Push. Push!
Yeah!
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm out of that one. Oh yeah Yeah I got this USA
USA
USA
I mean I could just freestyle on this
For five minutes if you want
Jimmy Franks
We all wish we were dead,
but please help us pretend.
How to fake your own death.
A book on tape.
Whether you're running from the cops,
running away from home,
or simply want to start your life again,
sometimes in life you may need
to fake your own death to escape.
Here's some tips on how to try
to fake your own death
without arousing too much suspicion.
Not too much, a little bit.
Part one, disappearing completely.
Decide whether or not
you really want to do this.
Faking your death is against the law
almost everywhere.
Does your situation really
warrant a death fake?
Can you just move away?
Are you being melodramatic?
Never.
No.
You should only do this if you keep feeling
that faking your own death is the only way
to start over or escape,
and you have no viable alternatives.
Number two, stop using anything that will be traceable back to you.
Understand that you cannot use email accounts, memberships, cell phones,
or any personal details from your old life.
That's good advice, actually.
Yeah.
Number three, watch out for little things that may give you away.
Avoid acting fishy beforehand.
Also remember not to use personal laptops,
computers, or mobile phones.
Unless you can change the SIM card.
Afterwards, they can be used to trace you
once you're gone, plus people might notice
that they're missing.
Right.
Stealing other people's phones.
Number four, decide on a death method.
Suicide is probably the easiest bet.
What about...
Jimmy Franks, Jimmy Franks.
Yes.
You heard it here first.
What about death by chocolate?
Death by chocolate is also an acceptable method.
Okay, just checking.
All right, good.
What about death by Tide Pods?
Also, suicide is a more open and shut case.
Chances are people will be less searching of closed-circuit television footage.
Less, yeah.
Because it's the 1960s.
And personal records, et cetera, if they know you killed yourself rather than mysteriously disappearing.
Chapter five.
Do it.
Yeah!
Do it, do it, do it, do it.
Plan to note.
Do it, do it.
Plan to note for your suicide before disappearing.
Travel out of the city as far as you can and start again with a new identity.
Be free!
Woo!
Listen, this part is important.
Part 2.
Starting a new life.
Eliminate all contact with people from your old life.
Fuck them.
Unfortunately, most people who fake their own death
screw up this part of the process
by cashing in on the insurance check they hope to get
or getting a speeding ticket.
If you want to get away with it,
you've got to disappear completely.
Start by hiding out for a few weeks somewhere close by,
like a cheap flophouse hotel for a few weeks somewhere close by, like a cheap
flophouse hotel for a few weeks
to lay low.
Load up on groceries and hide out
watching detective shows on television
while the police decide to give up on finding you.
When you have to
go out, wear a disguise.
Eventually you'll have to
start making your way elsewhere so you can go about the process of finding your new life
Chapter two
Come up with an alternate identity
Who do you want to be now that the old you is dead?
A suave gambler and poet from South Carolina
Who decided to forego his family's tuna cannery inheritance
And move to Australia to work on cars?
Yup
A small town bartender Who had to move to the bright lights of on cars? Yup. A small town bartender
who had to move to the bright lights of Los
Angeles? Yup.
Decide who you'll want to be
and start working on your new name.
Make it awesome.
Jackson St. Blood Rock.
Pleased to meet you.
Your new style.
How will you craft your new image?
Got clothes that are different from your old way of dressing
and that will mask the new you people might see in the old you.
Grow a beard.
Shave your head.
Change your hair color.
Woo!
Grow a beard.
I knew it.
Got me again.
Do whatever you need to do to cultivate a completely different style.
Number three, make a fake ID.
Once you've gotten your new identity hammered out and you're using it to introduce yourself as Horace McGillicuddy.
A common name.
Sure, that works.
Find or consider crafting your own fake documents that will let you start your new life.
Shouldn't you have done that before you died?
Number six, lay low.
Becoming a public figure probably isn't the best idea.
Get ready to live a quiet and simple life.
Wear a hoodie drawn over your forehead.
If you don't want to be seen clearly.
Ah, questions and answers.
Hey, good old questions and answers.
Question.
Could I stalk people through fake social media accounts
to see if they're still looking for me?
Yes.
Sure, but don't friend them.
Yes.
Don't comment on their posts
Don't fave slash like slash retweet them, etc.
Be very cautious
And use K-Thor's name
Question
Why would someone fake their own death?
Why not?
Some people might do it for financial reasons
Like to escape a large debt
Others might want to completely leave their lives behind and start over somewhere
new. Question.
What if I have a paper due tomorrow?
Definitely
fake your own death.
Yes!
Write your paper!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Bullshit.
Faking your death is a lot harder than writing your paper.
I disagree.
Ron!
Sometimes you just gotta fake it.
You haven't seen the paper, man.
See, uh...
Oh, this is a highly relevant question.
It comes up quite very early.
Could I burn a dead corpse to fake my own death with a suicide
note? Hell yeah!
Or is that too dramatic?
Answer! That is
very dramatic.
And also the dental records might give you away.
Oh, here we go.
Question, what if I've never been to the dentist?
Question.
Did you have an actual question?
What if I've never been to the dentist?
Aha!
She's got the right idea.
The all cavity club, I suppose, yes.
Question, if I fake my death,
do you think I can still use my friend's Netflix
Without them noticing?
Get your own Netflix, weirdo
This is most likely very risky
Really?
Since you would be using a trackable device to watch
Your friend may also check on your account
and see recently watched shows
resulting in confusion and potentially leading you
to you being discovered.
I didn't watch that much Office this month.
I don't know who this person is.
General Joe Warnings.
Here we go.
If you get caught, there may be serious implications,
not least of all from loved ones or family
who will probably not understand your reasons for faking your own death.
Phones have tracking devices. Get a new one.
It may be best to avoid doing this.
Consider all the grief your other family members or friends will have to undergo.
And don't do this for the money, because this does not work.
You'll be caught eventually and have to put your family through a lot
for your own personal gain.
And you have a call.
One.
Yeah.
Jimmy Franks!
It's true, all of it. Yeah, no, that's right
Hey, WikiHow, I've been looking to fake my own death
But am I being dramatic?
I broke my family's heart
Am I the asshole?
Stog, move out of the fucking way.
Stog, that's you. Stog, move out of the way.
Stog, move out of the way.
Stog, that looks just like you.
No, that's Stog.
No, I'm pretty sure that's Stog. That's totally Stog.
Yeah, I think that's Stog.
Oddly enough,
I think I've seen Stog without his shirt
more than Bunny Bread
wait for the end of the night
that's true
yeah I have proof
so Bunny Bread
would you like to read for 8 minutes
or do you just want 8 minutes of that photo
which would you prefer
I don't know how to read so this this is kind of a no-brainer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
Oops, I pushed the button. Bunny Bread,
are you ready to push that button? No!
Push that
button!
Again!
This never happens to me. Use your balls!
There it is.
Now it's a souvenir. Yeah. This never happens to me. Use your balls. There it is.
Now it's a souvenir.
Yeah.
Hey, whatever that is.
I'm a girl.
This seems like a bad idea.
Bunnybread.
Yep.
As adults, we're all looking, how can we throw a Lego party?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
How to throw a Lego theme party for adults.
Forget the kids.
Grown-ups want to have fun with Legos too, right?
Right?
Yeah, Linda.
Lego Linda.
A Lego party aimed at adults will involve food shaped like Legos,
Lego-colored decorations,
and even drinks modeled on the Lego theme. Oh, yes.
Finally, while you could include the kids in such a party,
it's likely to be a lot more fun to be kept adults only.
I mean, that's just logic.
Nice.
And filled with challenges and treats that adults are sure to appreciate.
Steps.
Shot, shot, shot, shots!
Number one!
Send out Lego-themed invitations.
Do I have to tell you this, you fucking morons?
Send out Lego-themed invitations.
That's Lego 101.
Many party stores have pre-made Lego party invitations or you can tailor
into your own for more adult-focused style.
If you can't find any,
impossible,
draw a Lego brick design
using a computer-aided drawing program.
Color in a typical Lego brick color
and print off as many copies as needed.
Got it?
Yes!
Use your inkjet printer.
Yep.
Unless you're okay about kids coming along too.
Make no bones about the fact that this is not a party for kids.
If you do have the party with the kids too,
you'll need to organize a separate entertainment corner
or room in your house.
But wait, there's more.
Along with a babysitter to keep a watchful eye on them.
Woo!
That's what I said.
Schedule the party in the evening
after the kids have gone to bed.
This ain't Duplo XXX.
XXX. Make it clear whether guests should leave the kids at home
Explain that it's Lego for adults only
Say that to your children
You see when mother and father love each other very much
As part of the invitation wording
it suggests that adults bring their sense of wonder
and adventure
It's a night in which adults can play like kids again.
Include a fun and cheap package of Lego bricks or a kit with your invitations.
Many dollar stores have small kits, all right?
It's the motion of the ocean.
So if you're limiting your invites to 20 to 30 guests or less,
include a cute Lego kit along with the invite as an attention grabber.
Or, or, or, or add a minifigure to the invitation.
Minifigure is not in quotes, but it's in quotes.
Decorate Lego style.
Woo!
Here you can let your imagination run wild as there are so many possibilities.
However, to help inspire you, here are a few ideas.
Use red, yellow, and blue.
You got those?
Everybody wrote those down?
Okay, good.
For the main color theme, as these are the principal Lego brick colors that everyone knows best.
We got that?
You want me to repeat that?
Okay, so there's red, right?
Okay, there's yellow.
And then there's...
Oh, shit, I forgot the last one.
All right.
Hang streamers in red, yellow, and...
Oh, blue!
Yes, from the ceiling and from tables
to give a colorful effect.
Also, hang balloons up in the same colors.
Because fuck it, why not?
All right.
Serve Lego-inspired food.
Of course, the traditional waffle broken into pieces would make for a perfect Lego food.
Of course, of course.
However, move beyond the predictable and give your Lego party an adult flair
with some of these food craft ideas.
Hang on, folks. It's about to get wild.
Use a serrated knife to cut raw vegetables, people.
Woo!
Give the carrots, radishes, tomatoes, and cucumbers
a Lego look by cutting up strips or blocks
using a serrated knife.
Partner with a little bit of your special guacamole.
That means weed.
Or hummus dip, and you have a healthy appetizer.
For detailed instructions on turning vegetables and fruit
into Lego bricks, see how to make... Why the
fuck would you look that up?
Build
a sandwich!
This is the
most exciting thing you've heard all night.
We're still talking about Legos, right?
Apply the
Lego concept to your food and let your guests build
his or her own sandwich lay out all
the fixings preferably from clean lego containers if possible you know there's been a lot of coming
and let your guests determine how big or how small their sandwich as an alternative to you can do
build a pizza or build a taco or build a goddamn personality, you piece of shit.
Can I eat the sandwich?
Can I eat the sandwich?
No!
Fuck.
If you can't find Lego containers,
display food items in colorful platters and bowls
to reinforce the Lego theme.
Six.
Bake a Lego cake or cookies for dessert.
Bake some goodies in the shapes of
Lego bricks. For example,
try creating a simple Lego building block
cake using a standard cake
mix, colorful frosting, and marshmallows.
Yeah, I know.
You're wondering, hey, BunnyBread,
how can I possibly do that? I'm a
piece of shit who's attending a podcast thing.
But wait, I will help you.
And I love you.
And I'm the only one that does out of these four.
It's true.
I hate you all.
I'm the only one.
It's true.
I hate people in general, so that applies to you guys.
Shut up!
Woo!
I hate people except when they're cheering for me.
That's true.
Combine the cake mix
ingredients according to the package directions.
You understand that? Pour the cake batter
into a greased and or floured cupcake
or sheet cake pan.
This isn't how to bake a fucking cake.
I want a Lego party.
I want a Lego party, not a fucking cake.
It's going to happen.
Shut up.
Where's my Lego party?
Shut up.
Wait.
Then, fuck the cake.
Make sure there's titties on it.
Why didn't you just start with that?
Yep.
Cut two marshmallows in half and apply each half to the cake to create a square.
Hey, Bunny Bread.
Fuck it.
Show me your Legos.
Show me your Legos, Bunny Bread.
Oh, I'm sorry.
My code word was enacted.
I don't understand what's going on now.
Use frosting to hold marshmallows in place. He's a sleeper cell stripper.
Frost liberally to using store budget frosting
tinted with bright food coloring.
Play crazy Lego building games.
Oh, beyond the typical Lego games your child plays,
these Lego games will be even more fun
after a few absinthe cocktails.
Because, you know, when you get your kids drunk, right?
You know that.
Yeah.
I'll see you soon, princess.
Anyways.
Oh, shit!
Go fuck your Legos!
Woo!
Bunny Brad!
You might be asking yourself,
is this prize really good enough for all these people to be humiliating themselves
in these myriad of ways?
But look at this hat, man!
It is a 3D-printed
WikiHow hat!
Yes, of course that's worth drinking your own
piss for the chance of it.
Here we go.
Here we go.
F Plus Live is kind of
mostly, basically, pretty much
running on schedule, and that means
that up last, we have Stog!
Stog!
Stog.
Yes?
You will be the final person tonight to push this button.
Okay.
And Stog.
Why does this have a warning sign on it?
Don't ask questions.
Stog, are you ready to push this
button? How do I push it?
With your finger, presumably.
There's a cover over the button. I can't push it.
What you should do is, okay, so read a
WikiHow article about how to lift the cover
off of the button. No, it's not a button.
It'll be like 45 steps to lift the cover off of... You. No, it's not a button. There's like, it'll be like 45 steps
to like lift the cover off of.
You remember when I said we were running basically on schedule?
Oh, dear.
Stog, do the opposite of that.
I see the button, but I can't push it.
Okay, okay, okay.
Here, let me help you, buddy.
Let me help you, buddy.
All right.
Oh, Stog!
It's time for you to push that button.
How do I?
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
Wait, how do I push a button?
I swear to fuck, Stog, I'll push the button for you.
Okay.
Okay, I learned how.
Woo! Our final preliminary article,
how to vomit while driving.
I love this fucking podcast.
I love this fucking podcast.
Okay, okay.
This is going to be an important life skill that everyone needs to learn.
So I don't drive myself.
I bike, but I figure that these will come in handy as well.
How to vomit while driving.
Are you at the wheel and feeling ill?
Yes.
Many motorists have never considered what to do if, while driving, they become sick.
Nausea and vomiting while driving are not merely unpleasant,
but can be potentially deadly
if handled poorly. You know, like vomiting in your
own car.
If you're at risk, if you're
chronically motion sick or have nausea
because of chemotherapy or another medical
condition, being able to pull over
and safely be sick might state your life.
Okay.
Method one, anticipating the problem.
Avoid driving
Yeah, fuck the man
It's about time
I don't like to editorialize
But if we weren't driving
What would be the fucking point of this article?
Okay, number two
Yeah, that's exactly it
What's the point of any Wikipedia or WikiHow article?
What's the point of any wiki anyway?
Take non-drowsy motion sickness medication before driving.
That's point number two.
What are you going to do?
You're going to get it fucked up on Pepto-Bismol before you drive?
Well, yeah.
It's fucking stupid.
It's dumb. Don't do it.
Live life on the edge.
Okay.
Number three, stock your car with
chewing gum and sick bags.
Which do I use
for which? So say your co-worker
needs to get a ride from you because their car
broke down and they notice that your car
is littered with chewing gum and sick bags.
They're going to ask,
what's the chewing gum and sick bags for?
And you're going to say, this is just
in case I get sick.
Be prepared
if you are prone to vomiting.
Stick vomit bags near the driver's
seat, for example, with either
paper or plastic bags and consider
lining the passenger seat and floor
with plastic sheeting.
Just in case...
Who cares if you get
vomit on...
Who cares if you
get vomit on the other person?
It's not important. The only thing...
You've got to protect your vehicle.
You need to contain its
blue book status.
Okay, so chewing also helps to reduce
nausea, for example, so keep a mild
flavored gum handy, like Juicy Fruit, the most
mild of gums. Yeah!
Oh!
F plus 8, brought to you by Wrigley
Chewing Gum.
Okay. My old! F plus eight, brought to you by Wrigley Chewing Gum. Okay, action point number four.
Eat ginger before you drive.
All of it.
Yeah.
Raw ginger, raw ginger.
Grate it into your mouth if you have to.
Just fucking eat it.
Sometimes you can eat Marianne beforehand as well. Just for the
record. It works.
It works.
And the rest.
Oh,
this action point recommends
some whiny
baby shit like taking a supplement
of 250 milligrams three times per day.
Who the fuck has time for that?
God.
Okay, action
point number five. Drive defensively
and learn the warning signs.
If you must drive, drive
defensively in case you need to pull over
quickly. Stay in the outer lane
for example and avoid express
ways or roads where it is
hard to make a quick exit or
safe pull off. Don't drive on the
Autobahn and vomit it into
your own windshield. The Germans don't like it. The Americans won't either.
Method two, reacting to sudden nausea. One, alert your passengers. Let your passengers know if you
are suddenly overcome with nausea.
Passengers can help either by giving you something to vomit to
or in dire need by grabbing control of the wheel.
This is why Jesus is there.
You tell Jesus to take the wheel and then you vomit.
Then you fuck Ginger.
Someone can also cup their hands as an impromptu
vomit bag.
The important thing is that
they know what is happening and
do not panic.
Two,
try to pull over carefully.
The most important thing is controlling the car
and ensuring safety of you,
your passengers, and other motorists and pedestrians.
Your clothes
are the least of your worries.
Bullshit.
If you are driving at a slower speed
between 10 and 30 miles per hour, try to pull over.
If that proves to be impossible and there are no or only a few cars behind you, slow to a stop, turn off your hazard lights, and vomit.
Stog, I mean, if you're driving between 10 and 30 miles per hour, you're not drunk.
Like, it's just, that's just facts.
driving between 10 and 30 miles per hour, you're not drunk.
Like, it's just,
that's just facts.
Don't worry about the reaction of other motorists in this situation.
They won't tell you to fuck off
or get out of the bike lane or
do anything like that. They will just
drive around you.
At slow speeds, there is little
danger in stopping of the road.
Open the door and vomit out the door
if possible.
Here, take this important
literature.
At higher speeds,
use extreme
caution. Do not stop in
the middle of the road, drive
defensively, use your indicator,
and do not assume other cars
will slow down for you.
Action point four, vomit outside only under safe conditions.
Slower speeds, you should be able to stop, open your door, and vomit onto the pavement.
However, this is very dangerous on faster roads and expressways.
Even pulled onto the shoulder, you should avoid getting out of your car.
Exercise caution.
It is better to hurl on your floor than mats
than be seriously injured by another car
or on the plastic sheeting
you put in your murder-death vehicle.
So far, this is all vomiting
while your car is stopped.
I'm looking for vomiting while driving.
She's a busy lady on the go.
I'm not turned on yet, so where is the vomiting while driving? Let's a busy lady on the go. I'm not turned on yet, so where's
the vomiting while driving? Let's shoot for
some multitasking here.
J.G. Ballard's vomit.
Crash 2.
Okay, action point 5.
Vomit straight ahead. If unable to pull over,
your primary aim should be to maintain
control over the vehicle. Let's see
what the communities have to say.
If I throw up and I am in the back seat,
will my vomit get on the passengers in front?
What should I do if I pee and poop while throwing up in the car?
What can I do if I cannot stop vomiting while driving?
Oh, and you'll need a vomit bag and a bottle of water
and also some breath mints and paper towels for cleanup.
Well, I hope you all learned something.
Thanks, dog.
Thanks, dog! Dog!
I can't believe we're running on time.
Holy shit.
It's like we're kind of competent.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Boots, are you ready?
All right.
Round four of voting is open.
Now-ish.
Remember, you get to see more of me if you vote for me.
Just for the record.
You get to see a lot more.
But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
There's penises.
Shit.
God damn it, Jimmy Franks.
God damn it, Jimmy Franks.
I'm losing my lead.
I'm still in the world of Brazil.
Do I have to take my pants off?
Yes.
Yes.
I don't know.
I'm not allowed to do that in Portland anymore.
God damn it.
Jimmy Franks doing pulling ahead.
I had my phone. I'd vote for vomit. I think my phone.
I noticed the vomit.
I think they voted.
Yeah, touch the other one.
Yeah, there you go. That's how I get excited. Now reach down, reach down, like tease other one. Yeah, there you go.
That's how I get excited.
Now reach down, reach down, like tease at it.
Yeah.
Finalist number four is Jimmy Fraggs.
Look at this motherfucker right here.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
We're going to take the very briefest break while I get the big board ready
for our four finalists.
There are more surprises.
Go out, have a pee, have a smoke,
have whatever you need.
We won't be more than five minutes,
so make it quick.
We'll be coming back with our final round.