The Flop House - Ep. #209 - Pay the Ghost
Episode Date: July 23, 2016Zhubin Parang joins us for the fourth most magical time on the Flop House calandar: Cagemas in July! It's also time for the political conventions, so more extensive show notes are canceled while Dan j...ets off to Cleveland and Philly.
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On this episode of the podcast we discuss pay the ghost who's in that movie Dan?
Why one Nick O'Lass
Caged that means it's cage Miss Angelife
I mean
No, I mean
I got it I night nailed it. Nailed it in one. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
Hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington and joining us is my best friend,
Jubin Perang.
That's right, Elliot's not here.
Why is Elliot not here?
It's a funny story.
Yeah, what's the word of it?
Yeah, I thought it was because I'm stewards.
Yeah, I keep my friends.
I was told that before I showed up.
Yeah, yeah, can you remember how we met Juman?
You mind telling us that story?
Yeah, I was walking down the subway
and I got a call from you.
Like a platformer and empty tunnel.
I was walking through the cars,
like kind of between the open doors and riding between the cars.
Randomly, I don't pay attention to the sign, the doors.
No, I just wanted to see if there are better seats available, so I just started walking through.
And then I got a call from you saying that, hey, you're my new best friend, come to the podcast and I showed up.
I took that at face value.
The service underground, a real wind up for the end of that car.
How do I get your number from your buddy, Mark Gagliardi? Yeah, actually, yeah, this is a real wind up for the end of the number from your buddy Mark Gagley already. Yeah. Okay.
We actually yeah, there's a real inside joke, but actually that's actually I've been your fanbases overlap
I've a thrilling adventure hour fans are also flop out and also does a show on the
most honest. That's right. Yeah, I know I know I know I know I know from high school, but I
Podcast wise I always thought through like adventure hour was like his big podcast
Yeah, even though it's not a podcast
It is though right. Yeah, I think it was a show that became a podcast and now it's over anyway
Oh, no way to rub it in yeah, yeah bring it down right he knew when to bring things to a satisfying conclusion
I guess that's not a totally a lesson you guys have absorbed
I know We're gonna run this in the ground human Totally a lesson you guys have absorbed I don't
We're gonna run this in the ground human
So juban you're here because Elliott couldn't be here because because he's in cinema right now
He's in California, but he didn't realize that we're recording this week. Okay
Did you not give you guys a heads up? No, we were texting about what the next movie would be.
And I just happened, I was like, I can't wait to see you this Thursday.
You're my current best friend.
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
Wow, right across from you.
It's just happened to stance that I happened to text this week.
And we learned ahead of time that Elliot had messed up so massively.
And decided to be in California
when we had a recording scheduled.
So whatever you say about my stupid tongue, Elliott,
I've never been in a different state
when we were supposed to record.
You didn't mess up once while telling that hilarious story.
Yeah, it was hilarious.
Yeah, we spent the time on it.
I don't know if you guys should be hashing out
your problems over the podcast.
Does anybody need a needle in thread
because your sides have probably split?
Yeah.
I feel like I walked into a therapy session here
and I'm immediately uncomfortable.
I just come and watch a movie and do a podcast.
Please do not walk into a restaurant
because your socks have been knocked off by that store.
Yep, and that's a health code violation.
Yeah, I'm comfortable right now. So, Jubin, you work with Dan, right?
I do. I do. We're running for the Daily Show with Trevor Noon now.
Is my immediate superior, in fact?
I mean, that's one way to put it. Another way to put it is that I'm a friendly guy, one wrong
on the ladder. Yeah, you have to budget, you know?
Yeah, you guys are reaching down to...
I'm like years, but not.
You're reaching down with an iron fish.
It's a question of the...
Not iron fish.
A common man.
A mighty iron fish.
Like a nautilus.
I wanted it to be strict and painful,
but also kind of fun.
So it's one of those iron fishes that sings
to rock me down that river.
Yeah, it's to deliver, but yeah.
So I...
I just want to put it up top.
I just want to bring up that it is Cajemus and July,
which is the special time of the year that happens once a year
when we watch a Nicholas Cajemovie in the month of July.
It seems like you guys do a lot more specific theme weeks
and months now than the last time I did this.
You're all right, guys, start to.
I didn't even think about that.
Much like society itself, the longer we're around,
the more myths, you know, just develop over time.
See, the human brain longs to determine patterns
in this world, they try to find order in chaos,
as you've been.
And then in trying that in the traditions,
when we watch one Adam Sandler movie in December,
it immediately becomes Sandal Vembr.
What, wait, in December? Yeah. Why would be Sandal Vem moving in December, it immediately becomes Sandal Vember. Wait, in December?
Yeah.
Why would be Sandal Vember in December?
I don't, I can't explain these things.
I can't explain these things.
I mean, it works in strange ways.
I was a society split up.
Like how small timber happens in November.
No, then you got it backwards.
Shocktober happens in November.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I feel like you guys are being bullied around by your fan base.
You're the ones who can dictate the terms, so I'm going to call them names.
I don't like to ascribe the title of fan on to anybody.
What, really?
Yeah.
The fan is derogatory?
No, I just, I feel like that's a, that's a term that you can apply to yourself.
Because I don't want to assume that somebody is a fan, And if somebody were to assume I was a fan of something,
I'm like, oh, you just like your thing a little bit, dude.
Yeah.
Chill out, man.
Yeah, yeah, tune it down.
I wouldn't say it's derogatory, I would just say.
Oh, it's not every listener is a fan.
Exactly.
Some of their hate listeners, I guess.
Probably I would can only assume.
I'm from listening to some of our episodes.
Ha, ha, ha.
But okay, yeah, this is Cajemus in July, the other time of the year, other than Cajemus,
where we watched a Nicholas Cajem movie.
In December.
In December.
When we watch Adam Sandler movies for Sandler Vembers.
There's no such holiday.
We have watched a couple of Adam Sandler movies, but they aren't codified.
I wish so hard.
Then like income like
one of a September, like
September, you guys are doing
Sandalvember. I guess you're
will, but somehow it's become
less tradition. Yep. I don't
think that is a long shot. That is
very easy. Something that
can happen. We are running
out of times on the Flap House
calendar when we can just throw
in a regular movie. I feel
like it's all, I mean, it all
starts around now.
It starts, it's the holiday season. Yeah. It's something that Christmas creeps. The
Macro is what say. I don't know. Juman just asked if he can pick a movie for us to watch
Dan. That, that seems normal. Why would just let him? What are we going to watch? Well,
I was going to suggest that January become Japan. You you watch a movie from Japan that is a bad movie
or a critical flop.
Okay.
If you still got free space on the calendar,
the puns there, the movies there.
I'm obviously there.
Yeah, I mean, it's an ironclad defense.
I think, yeah, it's done.
Oh, that's a strong pitch, I guess, yeah,
I guess it's Japanuary, although, yeah, no,
I guess that's, I mean.
Then it's settled.
That's a little bit outside our wheelhouse.
Well, let's not make promises we can't keep just yet. I think it's kind of become the tradition now, isn't it? We've been talking about it for three minutes
Say it three times candy man shows and kills us all. It's actually interesting the movie we're watching now
I remember the last I think the movie I did was a Nicholas Cage movie
Uh-huh, which one was that?
Press pass. Oh, I wasn't I think I was subbing for you. You got to be me instead of you getting to be Ellie
Yeah, so your role is gonna shift a little. I got to be me instead of you getting to be Ellie. So your role's going to shift a little bit.
I've got to reference a lot of 1930s movies
that don't have any relevance to the topic.
I'm going to show off my knowledge there.
We're going to file it 1.5 speed.
Fantastic.
Which is great, because then you actually listen
to what I listen to sounds.
That makes perfect sense.
So let's talk about the movie that we watched, I guess.
We don't have any more business up to.
Yeah.
I don't think we could have any business.
This is a movie called Pay the Ghost.
Pay the Ghost.
Man.
So LA is not here.
Now normally, LA are third person.
So this is probably a great jumping on point.
If you've never listened to the show before, just rewind it,
listen to what you've already listened to all the way over.
Now you're at the same spot that you were before.
Okay, thanks very much for explaining that.
Okay.
Now we're going to listen to, you're going to listen to us talk about the movie, and Dan
is going to summarize it.
I need a little help on this, but...
Okay, the movie opens way back in the olden times in New York City.
New York City?
New York City, indeed.
And this family has been making paste bccani sauce.
And it is not the life of the town.
That's the one that's made in Texas, right?
No, that is the one made in New York City.
Wait, paste is the one made in New York City with a rival salsa.
A rival salsa.
Okay, so the rival salsa is being produced by this family of Wicens.
Wicens.
Keltins.
Keltins.
Keltins.
Kelt.
Keltics. Keltons, Keltons. Kelt, Kelt, Kelt, Kelt. Kelt, Keltics.
So it's kind of mysterious.
A woman throws some kids with weird mass down in the basement, close the door, and then
all of a sudden, you hear a bunch of screams, and then smash cut.
What, 300 years?
No, you hear one of the kids scream mama, which the kids shouldn't have said, and then
another kid clasps his hand over that kid's mouth.
Okay. But that's what tips off whoever is upstairs that they're hiding in the basement.
Probably a monster of some kind.
We can assure you.
We can assure you.
Who would assault a woman like that upstairs?
So the assault a woman upstairs.
Upstairs.
Instead of the assaulting partner downstairs.
So smash cut to what, 350 years, for how many years?
I don't know, modern day.
Whatever you're watching this,
that's when this is happening.
2015.
Yeah, and we've got one Nicholas Cage,
who is on the verge of becoming a bad dad,
soccer dad, because he's never there for his kid.
He's too busy chasing that 10 year dream
in the library at the college he works at.
Yeah, it seems like a much more important goal than like carving a pumpkin with his kid, He's too busy chasing that tenure dream in the library at the college he works at.
Yeah, which seems like a much more important goal than like carving a pumpkin with his kid.
I think it's what this specific thing was right always my thing.
There's always going to be time to carve pumpkins guys.
You'll always know there's a little song called Cats in the Cradle.
That I think would say otherwise.
I don't know.
I think they eventually got that chat in that cradle though.
I think that's what works out.
At one point Nicholas K. J. even looks at the sun in the eyes
and he's like, I make a promise.
And a promise between a dad and a son
like is the most important one ever.
And I'm like, I don't know, dude, every bad dad says that.
Yeah.
Every shitty dad's like, I got you a toy instead.
But yeah, he's supposed to be there for Halloween
to carve a pumpkin and go out trick-sort-reading
with his little kid, but his long-suffering wife has to go out alone with the kid
played by Sarah Wayne Callas, who you might know from the Walking Dead.
Now, she's the one that Juben thinks looks like Natalie Portman.
Yeah.
And you think looks like a friend of yours who isn't Natalie Portman.
Yeah, well, that's really helpful for the listeners at home.
Yeah, I'm painting a picture of that.
That looks like, sort of like Sarah Lane Calle's,
who looks sort of like Natalie Portman.
So, congratulations to me.
I do not friend.
This is what I'm saying.
I met Natalie Portman once, not to brag. But I sat behind her.
I don't know if your tone sounds like you're bragging.
I did a little bit, I guess.
I sat behind her at the UCB theater
while she was sitting in a row of head of me
and I could smell her hair.
How was her laugh?
I didn't hear her laugh.
I guess I was too busy trying to.
I was too busy trying to laugh casually myself
in a way that she would think was kind of cool
and want to turn around and hear who that guy who laughs in that cool way.
So I didn't really pay attention to her.
But I didn't notice her hair smell pretty nice.
That's nice.
Okay.
Yeah.
She pressed it.
Yeah.
I had it in my mouth most of the time.
I'm just kind of casually chewing on it.
No point that she seemed to recognize.
I mean, it smells a huge part of taste.
That's how I would know what it smelled like.
You can't be sure it's a laven turtle
until I've got it like all in my taste books.
Yeah.
It's like squirreling a glass of wine around your mouth.
Yeah.
Squirreling?
Squirreling.
I don't think that's the right verb.
I'm gonna defend Dan.
I'm gonna be not like you guys.
I'm gonna defend Dan's verbal slipups.
Okay. Squirreling is Dan's verbal slip ups. Okay.
Squirreling is a perfectly understandable way to say it.
Why, because you're filling your cheeks with...
Yeah, just swishing around, like a squirrel darts back and forth around trees.
Oh, it's a beautiful visual bit.
Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
I'm on your side, Dan.
Thanks.
Thanks, buddy.
Wow, emboldened Dan, moves forward with the plot.
Well, we're...
We're the best friend on the latter one, one above you.
Sure you are.
Sure you are, pal.
Anyway, so Nicholas Cage comes home,
chuffed that he has in fact gotten his
tenure hell, yeah.
You know, so you got his fucking tenure and about time. He says to his wife honey
Now everything is gonna be better forever
For the rest of my life is nothing gonna be so smooth sailing for all three of us
Especially step some of blue sweet shoes
As far as I know, it's a step from a blue-sweet shoes. We should be all great.
No.
He sounds a lot like Elvis Presley in this movie.
I don't know.
I don't think I've seen as many Nicolas Cage movies
as you guys have, but he sounded particularly
like Elvis Presley in this movie.
He's always kind of mumbling, but he's more so,
I think, in this film.
So I'm going to peel back the curtain a little bit, guys,
to reveal the inner workings of the podcast.
This, I think, was the first time we've ever had to turn on the closed captionings for
a movie because we, like the first couple scenes, we couldn't understand a word out of
his mouth.
Jouven had to fill me in that they were not in Arizona and that at some point that Nicholas
Cage was trying to get tenure.
I think you literally could not hear that area.
They said the word area and it sounded like Arizona.
Yeah.
It was a really bad sound job.
Oh, Ritchie's on my lap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well listeners love to hear about Archie.
So don't keep any Archie news.
He's a very friendly fun kid.
Here's one thing, by the way, just a small thing
that we don't really see what his,
what Nicholas Cage's field is in when he gets tenure, but all he does when he's in class
is just read out spooky stories to the students.
Yeah, scary stories to tell in the dark.
Yeah, you've, I've attended a lot of college courses, guys, and a lot of them feature a guy
reading a class of students and costumes, a story.
Yeah, but the first one was like a poem, right?
It was like, Gertha, I think.
I think.
But still, like, you could have been like a long,
before class.
I mean, I'm not familiar with that.
That's true.
It's a specific Gertha work, but it could be one of his longer works.
Like, Fouce does or something.
Oh, hello.
Archi's now moved over to my lap.
He literally ends the class by saying, don't ever forget that
Poe and Lovecraft. Yeah, he's like Po't ever forget that Poe and Lovecraft.
He's like poor one out for Poe and Lovecraft tonight. Yeah, they wanted to scare the shit out of
you and the class laughs because he said the bad word. Yeah, yeah, I mean he just showed that he was
on their level like he's a cool dude. I don't see how he got a guy to tell you. I think his tenure was
granted inappropriately is what I'm saying. Okay, and I think I think the movie is really a punishment
for me. I think his son's abduction the movie is really a punishment for me. Sure.
I think his son's abduction is in some way punishment
for the ease of tenure with which this universe is.
Oh, okay.
So spoiler alert, his son gets abducted.
We knew that was going to happen.
The kid was seeing ghosts all over the fucking place.
Yeah.
They go for a walk at the carnival around the corner.
Yeah.
The dad is like, oh, I'm so sorry for not being here. Let me take him out to
the carnival for just 30 minutes. Okay, you did a pretty good neglect cage right there. Yeah,
the probably the subtlety. Yeah, probably back. Yeah. So while they're at the carnival, the kids
looking all over the place and up in the air, he's like seeing these fucking vultures flying around,
which kind of look real, but also totally look fake. It feels like they stepped from the streets
of the big apple all the way down to the big easy,
because it feels like we're in Nollins, baby.
What?
Yeah, right? Like a street fairy with still walkers.
Yeah, more to go out, carnival.
Yeah, yeah.
I got you.
So the Nicholas Gage goes and buys a swirl ice cream cone from a dude who is way too tall for the ice cream counter
He's working at it like you basically has to order from the guys belt buckle you point out the guys crotch clear the shelf
Yeah, and then Nicholas Cage Nicholas Cage's son disappears and he's like where's my son?
He's like I can't see him even though I have this elevated perch, which should give me advantage on all spot checks.
You think it's an ice cream man,
I'd be particularly like able to look at children,
but no.
Oh, so you're saying that his job experience
makes him better able to spot kids in a crash.
I mean, it's just money in the bank, right?
Like you see kids, you see potential sales.
Victims.
Victims.
Yeah, that's what they call them in the biggest.
That's great.
So, but this is actually an important point though, right
before the kid disappears.
Yes.
He looks up at his dad and says,
did you, can't we pay the ghost?
We pay the ghost.
Which at this point, we're like, hell, yeah,
we got the title of the movie.
Yeah.
Nicholas Cage doesn't really care.
He's like, I'm already referring to my absentee father.
He's like, shut up kid, I got to pay this guy's crotch
for this ice cream.
Then we can pay the goes.
Then we can pet the go to the stall you want, little guy.
Little boggling.
What?
I imagine.
But just like the movie sounds like, you know,
like the title sounds like they're at home every month
doing the taxes or every month doing the taxes or every month doing the taxes.
Every month doing their bills. Yeah, being like, honey, do you remember to pay the gross?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I paid the gross. It's on auto pay. So the gross gets paid no matter what.
You lose your credit card, they switch the numbers up, but you forget the auto pay. So then
the auto pay that you go for. All my fucking porno subscriptions.no subscriptions they I can't watch all my pornos. You can't forget the ghost because you got mr. Skin
You got to think I'll get it next mom
And then look what happens. Yeah, and your kid gets taken by the ghost and your wife leaves you
Yeah, then you can't even go to mr. Skin because I can't
Which the sign gets taken by the ghost and his wife leaves him. And yeah, but Nicholas Cage freaks out for a minute.
His wife freaks out serious style.
Yeah, she's like, why couldn't you have protected him?
I'm just going to make this peanut butter and jelly with a crust cut off.
And I don't know sticking in a bag and hug it.
Yeah, she goes through like every phase within like five minutes,
like the sobbing, the crazy, the, the looking out the window.
It's a thing.
It's, it crazy, the looking out the window. That's a thing.
It's, it's,
it's expediency in storytelling,
Jouben, that you have an entire story
in a single scene,
like in the movie,
unforgiven.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess anything about this movie's efficiency.
Yeah.
So I like when I see a story,
just to get through the whole point of it quickly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Practical.
I don't need that in the sphere.
So then we flash forward. It says one year later, but they're lying, right? It's, it's, of it quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Prior to Cal. I don't need that in the sphere.
So then we flash forward.
It says one year later, but they're lying, right?
It's one year, my three days.
Three or my three days.
Yeah.
Because it's three days before Halloween.
And Nicholas Cage is a haunted man.
He's going around stapling.
What?
I wanted to.
I wanted to. I had a bad boy part for Robin my carriage.
Wanted my son, Debra.
I have a smaller lad questions, preferably alive.
No questions that has.
Whatever he takes, just get some answers.
No, he's putting missing posts.
No questions asked seems like a really weird caveat to put on any kind of a contract because
you know, most contracts require at least one or two questions, right?
Yeah, but no questions asked.
It's like, I'm that desperate.
I won't consider any criminalities that you might have engaged in.
You can't be like, oh, thanks for catching my son and bringing back alive.
Would you like a glass of water? And the guy's like, I said, I agreed to no questions.
Is that no question they're going to be asked? I'm taking your son back.
This deals up. I remember when you, like, when you think someone's, like, when you lose a ring or
money and you, you want it back, you put like sign out saying, like, you know, you know,
we're worried for a turn, no questions asked,
which kind of is like, you know, like Craigslist?
Or like posters all around the neighborhood.
No questions asked, kind of,
he's like, if you stole it, just bring it back
and I'm not gonna call it cops.
I'll give you a percentage, yeah.
This ring belonged to my mother's friend,
and I have it for a weird reason.
Yeah.
Some reason I don't want to get in question.
It's a reason you're an anecdote.
We can all get a bunch of heirloom from my mother's friend.
That's been handed down through mother's friend,
through mother's friend for general.
If I start asking questions, other people start asking questions.
It's just the whole thing.
Yeah. How did you come in contact?
No, we said no questions. I'm not a side, man.
Um, well, where do we leave off? How did you come and got to know? We said no questions on either side, man.
Well, we're really off. Oh, so you know Nicholas Cage is still he's got one of those like evidence boards where it's got a bunch of pictures on a map,
although as we pointed out while watching it, there's not a single piece of red string to be found.
He has not made any connection. How would you visually connect any two pieces of evidence about that? I don't understand.
I need to keeps going to
Like a dream
Vision board
He keeps going to the police and calling them lazy for not finding a son even though it seems like this one police officer
The one case he has is finding this guy's son like he seems like the most dedicated New York City police officer that and he
Clarifies that they're not lazy and I can't disagree with him because
that office is immaculate
it is the nicest New York City police department office
I've only been to a couple but that looks like a
the cubicles are well organized
everything looks clean
there's like beautiful staircases that go up
there's carpet which I've never seen a police station ever before
I'm sounding like I'm like a real expert in police station
I've only been to a couple.
Yeah, yeah.
And those are all normal.
Is there all normal reasons?
You weren't being hauled in because of that wanted, but...
It said no questions asked, and I was very clear about it.
Mr. Brang, can you explain why you had in your possession your mother's friends ring?
I believe when I came here, Dr. I mean,
Officer Wow, Dr. Wow, really.
He can be a doctor too.
Maybe to class at night school,
Officer's a doctor.
Officers can be doctors these days.
I mean, that is a fucking TV show.
That's a pilot.
Officer Dr. Oh my God.
Like he, like heals the gunshot wound,
while he's processing the case. Exactly, or it could be a she's, you, doctor, doctor. Oh my God. Like he, like he heals the gunshot wound while he's processing the case.
Exactly.
Or it could be a she's you been.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't think people believe that.
We're making a officer doctor.
Yeah.
And she also works at a magazine in New York City.
She's, you can't find that boyfriend.
She's a triple threat.
Okay.
So what's, he hasn't found his kid. It's a year later. His wife is like, I'm not
into you that much anymore. Yeah, she's like, give it up. And then pretty quickly, they
kind of get back together right after a couple of run-ins with possible ghosts. Yeah, we'll
get there. The Nicholas Cage sees his son on a bus, he chases it down. And it's one
of many scenes where Nicholas Cage runs and you're like, oh, don't like butt bus. Chase is it down. And it's one of many scenes where Nicholas Cage runs
and you're like, oh, don't make him run like that.
He's getting old.
Yeah.
Yeah, his gate was a little wobbly.
Yeah.
But he still ran like, would look like Seven Avenue blocks.
Yeah.
Chasing that bus.
Yeah, I mean, the chase scene took forever.
Yeah.
It was very dull.
Yeah, it was like 25 minutes to run.
Seven F, dude.
And the bus didn't make a single stop, is yeah, exactly. There's people waiting there
waving their tickets or whatever people do for the long line of people running with him. Like I just
wanted to get on it. The sun isn't actually on the bus of course, but when Nicholas Cage gets off the bus,
he's in this dingy part of town and he sees a dilapidated building with the graffiti pay the ghost on the side of it.
And so he ate gas to go and vest.
And he explodes above his head.
What is Sun what said?
Yeah, this is he had forgotten this all of the year,
even though it was literally the last thing
as Sun said to him.
And it seems like it could have been a clue.
So he goes into this abandoned warehouse,
abandoned except for three vultures
that are pecking away at something outside,
which I think if I saw vultures in New York,
I would assume that they escaped from a zoo or something.
Yeah, that's a big bird.
What, I don't know what they're indigenous to,
but it's gotta be like the deserts out west.
I mean, yeah, based on cartoons,
I assume that they're like,
they're eating the legs off the guy in the crock cart. Yeah, they live in cow skulls
Yeah, exactly. That's their economy Dan. They trade those
Cow skull based economy the older the cow the more valuable the skull that that only makes sense to you about yourself a million
Air my friend. Yeah, so he goes in and he finds a bunch of homeless people in there and
Yeah, it's that like movie trope of the guy leaves his sheltered like suburban life.
He finds a weird warehouse that's just filled with like skills or mole people or like Dennis
Leary's gang of people from Demolition Man that are all living underground.
And I think I swear we've seen other,
like that one Nicholas Cage revenge movie,
was at Ray Age, where he's,
I can't even remember these movies anymore, Dan, my brand.
You were pointing out though, that is a trope.
There's a lot of scenes.
It happens all the time.
People think there's just like whole communities
living underground in New York.
Yeah, I mean, it's in New York.
There was like, or like the abandoned mall downtown,
like things like that.
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man?
Where's the old man? Where's the old man? Where's the old man? Where's the old man? Where's the old man? homeless area, like this whaling woman's voice. And whenever this woman wails, the flames
of the barrel fires light up, they burn all the heavier.
That seems pretty normal, right? Yeah. And, uh,
cliche, honestly, Nicholas lot of real cliche goes to
the seven here. Nicholas Cage asked this blind homeless man, what the deal with this is,
and he's like, I don't know the screams having around Halloween
Go figure man. They seem pretty blusy about yeah, Nicholas
Like well all this stuff adds up. I'll see you guys later. I'll come back for the third act
homeless people and movies like are like children and dogs like they seem to go on
They seem to be keyed in to unable to support themselves financially.
They're just treated as a side that by and large
doesn't care for them.
They're treated as if they're key.
They have some special connection to the spirit world.
Oh, that's really true. Yeah.
Well, it's kind of like in the movie Revenge of the Nerds
where the nerd after raping the girl goes on explanation
that nerds make better lovers
because they have, unlike Jocs,
they who spend all their time thinking about sports,
nerds spend all their time thinking about girls,
which is crazy because nerds spend all their time
thinking about nerdy shit, not sex.
But so what I think, what they're trying to say
is that these homeless people,
they're not caught up in the rat race of like our commerce
and economy.
And spiritual. They have more time to like, yeah, just connect with the earth and the spirit realm. They're not caught up in the rat race of like our commerce and economy.
They have more time to like, yeah, just connect with the earth and the spirit realm.
And when you were a kid, you saw and talked to ghosts all the time, you know, but some were
long away.
As per the money, kind of just took your attention away from all that, you know.
Exactly.
Yep.
Talk to Casper, that was the one ghost that annoyingly as well.
Hi, Damien, Cas, we're on busy.
Well, like Robin Williams in that hook movie.
Like, we kinda got wrapped up in being businessmen.
When we could be Peter Pans.
Yeah, our Robin Williams in the Fisher King,
where he was a crazy homeless man.
Oh, and he is connected to the spirit world, right?
Sort of.
He's like a necromancer in that movie.
Does he bring to the fantasy
real world. Oh, that's the same thing. Yeah, did you use a kid or a dog?
Just like a kid or a dog is connected to our theory and legend. I mean, there was that
anyway, Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's court. Yeah, yeah, kid or a dog. He was,
I thought he was a kid. Now, you're thinking of a kid and King Arthur's court.
I thought he was a kid. Now, you're thinking of a kid in King Arthur's court.
What is that?
Is that a movie?
That's a movie.
Anyway, so basically Mike is Mike King.
There's Nick Luscage's movie.
He is twinging to the fact that there's something super
natural going on.
Yeah. Seeing his kid, he's seeing the things the kid said there's something supernatural going on. Yeah.
Seeing his kid, seeing the things the kid said.
Unsurprisingly, the police, the detective in charge of the case, not really into it, but
he does do a little bit of research.
He goes in, he's starting to realize that on Halloween, all there's a lot more missing
children and almost none of those cases get solved.
Yeah. The percentage of cases that get solved of missing children on other days that aren't
Halloween is higher than on Halloween.
So something is going on.
I'm assuming this is a New York-based statistic.
Yeah, which is where the leaves are.
They were looking through the New York.
I also got to say I was pretty impressed that they didn't say like all these kids were
found not on Halloweenoween but on haloween
none of the kids were found they actually said like
a slightly lower percentage of the children are found on haloween and it made
it feel a little bit more believable like
because otherwise you think every somebody would have realized before niko
escades care
yeah just the fact that he saw a statistical difference
that although not huge was enough for making him realize that it's
statistically significant
yeah it's like the big short
yeah huge was enough for making him realize that it's statistically significant. Yeah, it's like the big short. Yeah. Did you really?
He was a big short of haunted children.
Meanwhile, Nicholas Cage is tried to make his wife believe that something's going on
and she is not having any of it until she sees the kid's razor scorer rolling around
the house on his own.
Yeah.
And she's like, all right, doesn't she look at a haunted iPad
and become a ghost for a little while
and then cut up her arm?
That's later.
Okay.
At first, it's just a razor scooter
that turns her around.
Doesn't take a lot to get these people
in the middle of it.
It's really believing in supernatural phenomena.
Yeah, she forgives Nick.
What a way to date your fucking movie.
Have it be a razor scooter.
Like, it's a haunted pair of fucking healy
scooting around the floor.
The haunted hoverboard.
Yeah, exactly.
He's a pair of uggs just starting around for life.
Sure, it's a haunted.
Those were his favorite shoes.
The haunted Pokemon Go app.
Wait a day, our podcast is 10.
I am.
For future historians.
Yeah.
These are her historians. Yep, thank you. For future historians. These are her historians.
Yep, thank you.
But anyway, so they start working together.
The Nicholas Cage and his wife.
And the one who looks like your friend.
Yeah. And Nicholas Cage is seeing vision.
The point is.
The point is.
Of things like children burning up and ghost children staring at them all pale like.
And so they call on a psychic to help.
Yeah, I mean that actually kind of seems like a natural choice at this point because I
think they realize that there's something going on.
The detective on the other hand is doing a little research.
He investigates the mother of one of the other missing children, and when the woman explains
what her daughter said, which was something very similar to pay the ghost, it causes a
grease fire, and we're like, whoa, the ghost is one of them.
Just like that.
The homeless basement.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot.
There's a theme, this building here.
And I think that I feel like if I was them, I would go for a psyche
too.
That seemed like a pretty rational either a psychic or maybe a fireman.
Just burn the house down.
Well, no, just there's always a kid down there.
I think your end was interpreting what fireman to.
I believe there's a firehouse.
You call the fireman, it come and help the fire.
But I mean, yeah.
I'm cold.
Can you warm me up, fireman?
Rapidly, and too much.
Yeah, exactly.
No, but the, it seems like the ghost clearly has some kind of fire-based powers.
Yeah, well, not the least of which, because he takes the psychic, the ghost, and burns the hell out of her
from the inside out. Yeah. Yeah. So that was a scene that was one of the many scare scenes that
was aided by a little bit of CGI trickery, a little bit of fancy computer graphics to make it a
little more special. Yeah. So she flies around
and stuff flies out of her nose and her eyes change colors. And then she, wait, so they
have her in the kids room to try and figure out there's something that she can do. The
wind suddenly, like, comes in through the window, smashes against the wall, something
starts her to get tongues or something. She's crying out and then like you can see
smokes are kind of pouring out of her mouth and nose.
Like she just took a huge hit off of her bait pipe.
Yeah, like she was the coolest I could you've ever seen.
And so the police come and like take the dead psychic out of the apartment.
And then I'm like, uh, something we're just
sticker with the rest boys.
And then I'm like, something weird. Just to stick her with the rest boys.
Yeah.
Make this case, it's like, there's some force that stole my son and the detective's like,
you just seem to have a lot of shitty stuff happen around you all the time.
Like people get kidnapped and psyched, getting burnt up.
Maybe you're to blame.
Well, he says, maybe you shouldn't leave town for a while.
And part of me's like, I don't know if there's all this trouble happening around him.
Maybe you should leave town.
Yeah, he's bringing back shit in here.
He's bringing here.
Jordan?
It's weird that Detective Winthrop, like, oh, usually people go from skeptic to believing
the story in these supernatural movies.
But Detective Winthrop, kind of believing it initially to seeing this psyche being wheeled out
and being like, whatever man, I believe in facts logic.
He's like, you probably killed the psyche.
Yeah, like he'll bite it over.
Yeah, she kind of like, the more it's confirmed for him,
he kind of just abandoned the theory
that they're supernatural phenomenon.
It's weird, I think that I would have liked it
to do the kind of thing.
Yeah, what's the other case that these two people
invited a psyche to their home?
The psychic was like, there's nothing here.
You guys are crazy.
And so they just beat her to death.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Just take a flamethrower down our throat.
There's a thing, the simplest answer is probably the most,
the inhalator from the inside.
Yeah, yeah.
They fed her too much spicy food.
They gave her their three alarm chili.
It was me.
I went in when the when he first
you wouldn't want to try the five alarm
chili. No, no, no, you got to go blow your nose out
after the head.
Your organs liquefied.
I think you were like you were saying like when the detective
was initially when he heard the evidence, he kind of started
investigating the supernatural possibilities, which initially felt like, oh, this is like
a cool thing. Usually, the detectives are like become an obstacle to the protagonist.
Yeah. Well, at least he was like, okay, you know, like there's some indication that
something is going on in Halloween. Well, yeah, because Nicholas Cage actually brings
up something that isn't exclusively supernatural based. Like like he's not like all my evidence posts all my evidence of ghost is yeah, exactly
It's like there's something actually happening on a Halloween. Maybe you should check that out
Mr. Detective
Mm-hmm. You're so big
Yep
Because you have a badge and a gun and a handsome face
Mr. Detective. I mean he was a good-looking guy. Yeah, he's got he's got
I didn't see a ring on his whole time. Yeah, but you're saying what?
You think I have a chance? I think you do have a chance, Dan. All right. I mean, I can't hurt a talk to him.
You just walked right there from panicking. Yeah, I mean, yeah
Just start a conversation. You can say it from me. I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah. Just start a conversation.
You can say that you liked his face.
No, wait, for one man.
Yeah, you say you liked that he did his, his police work.
You know what, it's not gonna help hearing it from us.
You just gotta be yourself and you just gotta go
out there and be natural.
Tell them what you're all about.
I think, and I, you know, it's not meant to be,
it's not meant to be. So's not meant to be. Yeah, this
detective from from pay the ghost does not start dating you.
Then I think it was just, it's just, you know, there's a
picture of the same crazy world. Yeah. All right. You deserve a
chance to love with the detective from pay the ghost. I'm
trying to date that detective. Why are you going to scoop it?
So where where we oh, what happens next is the Charlie,
the kid possesses the wife of Nielsen,
his mom, and is like, oh, she's coming, I'm scared.
So you know she's possessed because she moves like
super duper fast.
Yeah, she moves like a Japanese ghost.
She moves like Jet Li would move if they didn't have to slow down the video.
Yeah, I was confused.
So you're gonna say if Jet Li was a Japanese water ghost.
Yeah, I guess you.
But she's also carved this symbol into her arm and
Watches under the influence of ghost possession the ghost being their son
So their son is sending a message from beyond the pale
Beyond the pale. Yeah, yeah, that's like from beyond the great beyond the veil the wedding
Yep sounds getting married
It's terrible they had to find out through an arm carving.
They're not going to accept this lifestyle.
That's going to do it.
Dude, dude, dude, dude.
I've still got a life.
I'm trapped by this moment in an ethereal basement, but I'm just playing the field.
I'm at someone else.
I'm going to go now.
So they've got to assemble and luckily they don't go to the cops and be like, my wife also has this thing carved into her.
Yep, arm.
But the second of this one,
it's just building a case file on Nicholas Cage.
No, they go, they go to Nicholas Cage's friend,
like weird, dramatic friend at the,
yeah, definitely Scandinavian or German,
the university, the university,
and they look up the symbol, which is a Celtic symbol, and they realize that there's an old
Celtic, they pull out their monster manual and they check that symbol against every evil
deity.
Well, they don't, they don't find out what the symbol is at the university.
Oh, yeah, they find that out later on. They don't find out what the symbol is at the university. Oh yeah.
They find that out later on.
What they do at the university is just discover that there was a Celtic church
in Old New York, which was once to Amsterdam.
Why they changed.
I can't say.
I can't say.
And people just like to better that way, I guess.
So, and they find out that that church does a special ceremony once a year on the
night that it is right now in the movie Halloween.
And they do this dope ass wicker man party where everybody wears robes and cool animal
masks and they sing these kind of weird songs. And so they go up to this lady who's celebrating Salon, which is the stupid old name for Halloween.
And they're like, it's not as scary.
Our son disappeared on Halloween.
We think that he's been totally ghostified.
And this lady's like, I'm just a teacher
from where like Bayray and Bayside.
Like I look, and like basically just like,
I'm just a crazy wicking lady.
Don't talk to me.
You said the funny thing here, yeah.
And then they're like, come on, give us some more.
And so, but then like the, yeah,
they show the thing on the wife's, the symbol on the wife's arm.
And suddenly this late turns into ghost
expert number one. Yeah, yeah, she's like, oh, you have a symbol. Okay, so this is every single thing
you could ever possibly need to know about this thing. The entire legend is explaining that in
like in her next six sentences, right? She says how what is what's what's the entire storyline behind this? Well the symbol is of like the chrome which it comes in it steals three children every Halloween
Yep, and that's that's paying the ghost and he's like where are shoulders the chrome the ghost?
And she's like you have probably dude. I don't care. Yeah
She's from base idea, but she starts every sentence by saying like legend says and at no point
It's like what legend like where are you hearing this stuff and the same thing when I'm bartending people are like
What do you have on tap like well legend says we have a six point?
Sweet action why is it call that well the legend says
I have a tell the bathroom is two doors to the right
It's but you wouldn't want to go there unless you want to use a bathroom.
Prophecy foretells that we take credit or debit.
No American Express.
Yeah, of course not.
American Prophecy tells that American Express charges higher rates too.
But yeah, like and there's these kids burning little ghost or little kid dolls in the fire
and that's because they don't want to be taken by the ghost.
That's the sacrifice that they're making.
Well, so that's what happened.
But that goes all the way back to the first scene, right?
So what actually happened was.
Yeah, well, this is, this is, like, it half of it gets explained by this lady in that
way.
We've been explained by, like, the German lady back at the university, because the first part
is just this general thing about the supernatural.
But I think they get enough information
that he's like, all right, that place that I heard
that lady crying, which had paid the ghost on the wall.
The lady's like the bonds between the two worlds
become permeable on Halloween.
And if you want to go get your son, you got to do it tonight.
But you can only do it tonight because after the first year, the three children that are
taking can never return.
And I'm like, thanks for giving me a ticking clock and having really weird rules.
Yeah, thanks for giving me all the rules I need to know.
I guess in space I they do things strange
But here in Manhattan and we do things a bit more swanky
Tell me where the cocktail out just where this goes this I can go there
That's a real thing about this
I don't know weird thing
It's just like the thing that always happens with these rules whenever someone comes to explain it's like
They always give the exact correct amount of information. There's never like an extraneous rule.
It's always like, it's always exactly what they need to hear
when they need to hear it.
And never, there's never like a second lecture she heard
about how like if you turn the Chimes Westward
on the 14th of November, then the Ghost will also dance for you.
But I guess that's not what they relevant here.
It's just, keep turning these fucking Chimes
and the Ghost is dancing. Just have the
main kid to be like, okay, we don't need to know that. This other thing seems more important.
It's a little lazy. I was all lazy.
Yeah, let's say a little lazy. This is a base I teacher.
What do they show up and find a lady who just gives a dozen info dump on them?
Yeah, that's exactly all we need to know.
One of the lady, they're like, we don't even know your name.
Oh, it turns out that you just prior, of course, she's just reading the Wikipedia page for the ghost.
Yep.
I'm going to do that they leave and she's like, this guy's going to be nasty my name.
He's got so much info.
Not even a tip, not even a thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, this like my Facebook page,
this festival isn't free every year, you know.
There's off money, it comes out of my pocket.
These songs are on my bandcamp page.
So I think it was okay, job is to like, realize this obviously.
I have a really great podcast.
It needs to race uptown to where the,
there was the graffiti that said, pay the
ghost. Like that's where he's got to go because that's where the whaling woman was. Luckily
in the cab, they get a phone. They call his Scandinavian friend who says, gives all the
information you need, all the backstory of the ghost, gives the ghost name, all that
shit. Then she leaves her office. She's like, what's that in the corner? Ghost pushes
her out of a window, she's totally dead.
Yeah, but that's what was happening in the first scene
is like this Celtic lady was being blamed for something.
I can't remember.
Oh yeah, we get a flashback.
Angry townsfolk come in and they kill her
and they grab her and they grab her children
who we saw in the first scene
and they burn her children in front of her,
which is why there was a vision
of burning children later on in the movie.
Yep.
And that's why she gets burned.
And that's why she has all these fire powers.
So while she's watching her kids get burned
by these dudes with really gross faces,
she gives a curse, so she's like,
you guys all thought I was a witch, well,
fuck you, I totally am a witch, I'm gonna curse you,
and it's gonna work forever.
So that happens, which is kind of troubling.
I'm a little concerned about that.
And then, so she burns alive, what's that?
Yeah, you know what you're right, because like,
well, regardless what happens in the end,
they don't really resolve that curse, right?
Well, let's get to the end and well, and yeah,
I mean, just realize that.
Well, the curse isn't resolved,
and it's such a common thing with any kind
of like a witch story is there like this person was killed because people thought she
was a witch. And guess what? She totally was a witch. Yeah, she totally has the power
to be able to cast spells on them. But it was also like you would think like as a victim
of injustice herself, she would not want to revisit that injustice among other innocent
people. You would think that. You would think that.
But you would also think that like, they're not very progressive politically, I guess
what I'm saying.
It's also the idea of like, oh, in history, people burned women for no real good reason.
They were not spellcasters, but this is us saying that in history, there's a chance
of a cast in actual sales.
I think more often than not, they got it right.
I may have mentioned this on the podcast before,
I can't recall, but I remember when I went up
to Salem, Massachusetts for a wedding,
I was really annoyed at how around the town,
there were all these like witch things,
like a witch hats.
Pointy hats and like there were like wax museums
and a,
a, there was a statue.
Hollywood's Jeffrey Tamble or in the flesh or wax.
There's a statue of Samantha from the witch,
the sitcom.
Oh, in the middle of the town square.
It was like, it'd be great if it was all wax statues
of Hollywood celebrities, but all being burned at the stage.
Yeah, the statue is a man that it says Samantha would have been burned alive under normal
circumstances.
And she gone back in time for some stupid reason.
Jim Carrey burned at the stake for his rubbery face.
It really upset me like the degree to which like, oh, this town has made a real nice, uh, tourist, uh, yeah, dollar off of these poor innocent girls who got killed.
Yeah.
By your ancestors doesn't like kind of make you think that they died for a worthy
cause though.
Seriously.
I mean, you have to die because you're being accused of witchcraft.
I mean, there's not.
It's not some flower bloom.
Yeah, it's not unlike when you die, Dan, which will probably not be that far in the future. You're sure going
to want your ashes to be spread upon a field so that your life giving body can give
forth to new life. So here's something. Well, I got a letter from your doctor. I was hanging for it. I know, I know. You got that. His doctor said he's going to kill you.
Yep.
It was all cut out letters from newspapers.
It was all right.
It's something about playing a game, and I'm like, I don't really care about playing a
game.
I just threw it away.
I'm confused as to pay.
Like, this is too long.
Hunk, too.
I'm sleepy, throw away in the garbage.
Yes, it's good.
I know about it.
I mean, I mean, not a balance.
Yeah, there's a warning.
Sorry, but yeah, like he, so he goes back to that place
where it was all the homeless community.
They're pretty much all gone.
They're out playing at the carnival.
And he finds the blind guy with the dreadlocks
gives him a watch, the blind guy with the dreadlocks
like, okay, I'll take you to the other side. He shows him this magical bridge
with in a small room or a fog room. Yeah. It's just like a bridge through basically
nowhere. Yeah, it's the sort of thing that you're like, oh, he's wandering into fucking
the set of nightbreed all of a sudden. Yeah, that's what it reminded me of. Remind
of me of something out of Hellraiser 2 rather than like yeah, without the super
Crazy stuff
Not a great stuff that makes Hellraiser 2 the giant geometry hell
How great also that like the eternal portal between this world and the other world is like 30 subway stops away from where he is
Like he is like how can we easily get there?
That's super convenient. That's part of the convenience of living in Manhattan.
You know what? It's great. Yeah. You can really show you this apartment. It's
sundrenched and very near-apportedly. There's no route. There's no route. It's
from the subway. It's apps. It's other world adjacent. It's four hundred steps from the subway.
The cries that damned room. I hear all night, but I can take a cab home. So,
So the cries the damned room I hear all night, but I can take a cab home.
So.
So he rushes into the nether worlds
and he goes, it connects to the cabin
that we saw on the flashback and he goes,
and he gets, he goes into the basement
where the kids were hiding and he goes down
and there's, I see.
And there's her old house.
He goes back into like the old house
where she was murdered or pulled from.
And he goes back in time.
He does not need a de lorean. He's just back there. goes back in time. He does not need a de laurion.
He's just back there.
Just that long bridge.
Does not need, this is easy top.
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't need the power of love.
Mm-hmm.
So he's down there in the basement.
And that basement is this big room filled
with scary ghost kids.
Very basement.
Her children hid to avoid.
And that was kind of the problem.
I think that's a great scene that's slightly undone by special effects, but it's a scene
where he goes downstairs and it's all these little ghost kids looking at him.
And because they were all abducted in a Halloween, they're all wearing costumes.
Yeah.
And he says, he's like, Charlie.
And all the kids raise their hand.
And he's like, it's a little hard break.
Yeah.
Yeah. They all think they're Charlie.
I thought they were all just trying to get to
take them to like, I'm Charlie.
Yeah, remember me.
I'm a little bit of a precious boy.
I look like a girl now, but it's for me.
Like an old-timey newscaster.
Like some seconds, this has been happening
for three hundred years, right?
It's gonna be some 1940s girls there. You know, I'm a in for this, this has been happening for three hundred years, right? It's gonna be something 1940s girls there.
I know I'm a Native American girl, but I can be your Charlie.
I mean, that's the great thing about Halloween.
You can be anybody.
So he goes downstairs and he's like running his hands like he's like he's maximus going home
to his family in heaven and he's running his hands through fields.
But as he touches these ghost kids hands, they turn into a smoky ash, which is kind of lame.
Like, I mean, I understand why they did it that way, but the more special effects you
put in to a scene, a horror scene, the less scary it gets.
Oh, that's an interesting theory.
Yeah, think about it.
Well, it is also, I think we may have skipped over this, but like, it's part of the
info dump that she gives them
She says that only the children who have been inducted the last year can be saved so all these kids
From 300 400 years. Yeah, they are like are gone forever. They can't be saved their ghosts
Already so he eventually finds his kid and he finds the other two kids was it weird that he walked past that whole group of
Teenage girls dressed like sexy cats?
That felt that felt gratuitous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like sexy girls.
Why do you have that?
Yeah, they're not really kids.
It doesn't really fit your curse.
Ghost needs a little something for mom.
Yeah, it seemed like more like very more realistic up front.
I'd be like, oh, quick dressing like sluts.
Yeah, yeah, she's adjacent to where he's done.
So he grabs those three kids and he goes rushing up the stairs
and he goes out the house and then the other kids start
to follow him.
You're like, well, it's going on here.
They're glowing.
And then he goes across the bridge
and he hear mama crying or shouting,
you find the ghost on the bridge,
he gets in a fight with that ghost, Dan.
Am I missing anything?
Yeah, he gets totally blastified.
He gets blasted all, and this ghost is crazy because when it's fighting Nicholas Cage,
it looks like this roasted up little turd.
But when it's talking to the kids, it looks like this beautiful wicking lady from 1697 or
whatever.
They're seeing pre-burnt.
I saw when he's seeing the ghost.
Well, I think what the ghost is trying to do is to pacify the children and be like,
hey, it's not that bad if we're going to go hang out
in this weird basement, because I look like a normal person.
Yeah.
And it's also one of these movie scenes, though,
where the ghost has about as much power as it needs to
for whatever scene it's in, because it can apparently
emulate a woman from inside out.
But when it's fighting Nicholas Cage,
all I can do is slam them around a little bit.
Yeah. I mean, he's really tough though.
Yeah.
What's he going to run?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not even sure.
But he runs a distance though.
Yeah.
So yeah, so he fights the ghost while floating above the bridge for a while and then all the other kid ghosts
spurred on by Charlie,
and then all the other kid ghosts spurred on by Charlie, surround, surround Mama Ghost and drag her away
allowing our heroes to escape.
They realize that they can't save themselves.
They can at least save these three
of their brothers and sisters.
So Nicholas Cage, off screen, I'm assuming returns Pablo
to his father who we have previously seen as turned
to heroin use after his son was abducted.
So that I'm sure will be a happy ending.
No way, that wasn't Pablo.
That couldn't have been Pablo, right?
Because that was two years ago.
Oh.
No, that dead, yeah.
No, that dead should be on heroin.
Okay.
So why is he shitting that?
Yeah, there's no reason.
No reason.
What about me?
This is not my dad.
What about me, the, yeah.
I think me, yeah.
Okay.
So he takes her back to her mother at the restaurant. I mean, you don't see it, but I assume. Yeah, I can only imagine. You just keep those two kids as long kids. Yeah, the, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so he takes her back to her mother at the restaurant.
I mean, you don't see it, but I assume.
Yeah, I just keep those two kids as long as you can.
Yeah, it's like, yeah.
He's like, I'm the ghost now, don't I?
Yeah.
Look, does she go down the underworld to get you guys?
No, they're my children now.
Marry each other.
And then he returns home.
They're all happy.
Cut to an after credits teaser scene.
We see a couple of vultures feasting on the dead body
of his friend from the university
who was impaled on a bunch of rebar
and her eyes pop open and we're like,
the end question mark.
I don't know what that ending was supposed to end again.
The dose hasn't been paid yet?
Is she gonna come back to, I guess she's inhabited the body of,
there can't be their friend.
I don't know.
Also, like why is her body in a dumpster, like many, many miles from where she was killed?
I think it's in the construction site adjacent to the university building that she was thrown
out the window of, Shubin.
That he could not have gone to this abandoned homeless filled. No, but she was thrown out the window of, Shubin. That he could not have gone to this abandoned, homeless field.
No, but Shubin was thrown.
She was thrown, she was in the university
and was chucked out the window by the ghost.
And then she landed on something.
I mean, maybe it's a voucher for Jason.
I thought the vote for Jason.
In that area.
I don't know.
The vote just went all over the place.
What I like is pretty fascinating.
What I like is if they pass and lose with Manhattan Geography.
What I think happened was she was smashed out of the university building landed on the
university campus.
The paramedics were like, that's Halloween.
We got so much stuff to do.
Too much glitter.
Let's just chuck her into dumpster.
We'll come back later.
Too busy.
For God.
And now she's in the dumpster off the sediment head somewhere.
Uh huh.
So the next movie is more of a tale of the horrors of... Kind of like the wire, like the horrors of like...
How the systems of our cities are kind of collapsing.
She's a ghost trying to go through bureaucracy
to get her body to go through exactly.
And the people that slip through the cracks.
And the dead bodies, that slip through the cracks.
It's an amazing amount of social commentary.
Yeah, pay the ghost too.
It's the best way of indictment of our social systems.
Yeah. So now it's time for final judgments about this movie,
whether it was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,
or a movie you kind of liked.
I'll go first, and I'll say that it is not a very entertaining movie.
It's kind of slow, but I barely kind of liked it.
I don't know.
I think I kind of liked it by default, just because I didn't dislike it,
and I didn't think it was funny.
So that's the closest of the three categories I can get to is like, you know, so you're
going to kind of keep one foot on shore here.
Yeah.
It did all right.
It all hung together.
Like it made sense as a as a movie, like a little too much sense in a way.
Like the they were a little too into explaining everything that happened in the in the movie.
But I'm going to say with a heavy heart, I'm going to call this one a bad, bad movie.
I don't think this is the worst Nicholas Cage movie I've ever seen.
And I don't think the movie is actually, as a horror movie, it's that bad, but you don't
really get that, like, Nicholas Cage just isn't put in that much of a fun performance.
There's not a really a lot of memorable stuff here. It's just. I don't think there's... everything's kind of cliché. There's just not
enough there to really recommend it to spending your time on.
You know, actually, I think I might lean in dance direction. I agree, actually, now
think about it. There wasn't a lot of things to remember and hold on to,
but it did sit by at a pretty good pace.
Sometimes like two, sometimes like,
this is the one thing about the thing,
but the psychic died in their house,
and like five hours later,
they were spending the night in that house
when the next ghost of an occur.
So there's a lot of just kind of getting through
the movie that I kind of liked. and the story itself was kind of interesting. So a psychic gets exploded by a ghost in their house.
Five hours later they're like I'm not trying to catch some z's. And he was like so I can't sleep
in Newk. Maybe he's like yeah I think I'm gonna give it a go. And so she's trying to sleep and
then her iPad switches on mysteriously. She's like I'm gonna fucking look at this thing because
who knows maybe I got a push notification. I think there's a rare which is on mysteriously. She's like, I'm gonna fucking look at this thing because who knows, maybe I gotta push notifications.
Maybe there's a rare ass Pokemon in my neighborhood.
She picks up the thing, she sees a ghost image.
Oh no, now she's a ghost.
Like fuck off, dude.
Don't you know that's gonna be a ghost?
But it's pretty quick though.
You know, like you know, it's spent a lot of time
like you're just waiting, you zip through it.
And I think, and this is my big problem
with a lot of like a thriller ghost movies that
the ghost, it seems to me is always killing and hurting people when the ghost wants help.
And I feel like this is one of those times when like, oh, the ghost genuinely wanted to
try and prevent what was about to happen.
What didn't want the kids were trying to reach out to scream and the ghost was preventing
it.
And the kids at the end of it all like in that in massive, enormous, infinitely sized room with all those kids,
that was pretty cool.
I'm gonna say this movie just kinda tips
on the good bad side for me.
Oh, okay.
I, I did kinda wanna see a,
a credit sequence,
seen though where the detective comes back
and is like,
so your son just came back, I guess?
Yep.
And he was like,
You explain that?
Your friend is dead.
Your friend is dead.
And you have these two other children who've been missing?
Yeah.
I'm not gonna say this is suspicious.
He's like, it's gonna be a long story.
Yeah.
Nicholas Cage, you're under arrest.
I'm finding the mark.
We're stealing my heart.
Okay, it Case closed.
Throw the book at him.
The three of you into a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious
golden rubies.
And he says, what do you do, adventure?
Here's I'm a dragon man.
I cast fire on him.
It's very good.
I addressed the red dragon to say,
us, we're the hosts of the Adventure Zone,
a podcast about family playing Dungeons and Dragons.
Very good synergy. Come into the bit.
I-I-I-I-I roll to charm new listeners.
It is very effective against all odds.
Everybody wear the macros. We host the Adventure Zone
to podcast where we play Dungeons and Dragons together.
It's a comedy podcast. We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them.
Maybe listen to us. We come out every other Thursday on the maximum fun network. You can find us on iTunes or on maximum fun.
I think this promo is a critical hit. Now we move on. Pay the ghost. Hey, how about paying ourselves?
Yeah, whatever with a little bit of flop outside was keeping.
Yeah, we got some sponsors.
What? Our first sponsor tonight is Blue Apron.
For less than $10 per meal,
Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes,
along with pre-portioned ingredients,
to make delicious home-cooked meals.
So basically, you get ingredients sent to you
with a little recipe to cook it right up.
Yeah, I mean, have you seen this stuff yet?
You've been...
I've seen competitors,
but I've heard that Blue apron has the best and I'm
not just saying that because. So the last couple of last couple episodes we've been
doing this. Yeah, you're in our flop house. Yeah. Last couple of episodes we've had blue
apron is a sponsor and it's been great. And every time I make a joke about how Dan is
this sad guy eating meals for one time, self over his sink or garbage can depending on what's available.
I love these.
I could not be happier.
But that's one of the great things about Blue Apron is how you get your prepackaged
ingredients.
So you're not like me who you're like, I feel like some scallions on these scrambled
eggs and you buy scallions and you're like, what am I going to do with all these fucking
extra scallions? Why did I buy the 40 pack? I guess I'm going to be eating scallions for
every... I guess I'm going to put in my lunch... my lunchpale. I'm lunchpale. Yeah. That's
being... I'm going to cut open my... the plastic covering of my fucking lunchpiles, Dan.
Big scallions and to my single serving pepperonis and little chocolate mint. I have to surround the little red stick to make more room for these scallions.
Yeah, I'll eat the the the liquid cheese with a green onion instead of the little plastic red stick.
It's just one cracker, five five scallions and the other cracker.
But the great thing about this is you get a lot of different variety of types of meals
you get. It's very flexible. You can customize your recipe each week based on your preferences.
Oh, that's pretty good. You know, I just get like what they think you should be eating.
No, yeah. I mean, like there's vegetarian options. There's options for if you have certain dietary problems.
If you can choose delivery options to fit your needs, you know, if there's
a week that you can't have it, like we're going to the conventions to cover that for the
daily show. And I have a trial, Blue Apron account, and I canceled for the weeks that I'd
be away. That's great. You'll be, so there's not food rotting in my foyer. Just sitting outside
the scallion smelling.
So instead you'll be eating, you'll be wherever the convention is
and you'll be eating what like spaghetti with chili on top
or whatever they eat.
You'll be eating tear gas, what you'll be eating.
Oh, or conventions.
You'll be eating crow when you find out.
But they have a lot of great stuff to say.
Yeah.
It's gonna be violence, what I'm saying.
But you can check out this week's menu
and get your first three meals free
with free shipping by going to blueaprin.com slash
flop house.
You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create
incredible home cooked meals with blue apron,
so don't wait.
Blue apron, a better way to cook.
Hell yeah, dude.
Mm-hmm.
So you're gonna be hurrying back
to cook meals for yourself. Yeah, oh, I
Come in servings of two or three, right? Yeah, yeah, so
I'm here they do something they come in either service of two or a family size serving and the service of two is good for me though too
Because I can I can have one left over you can splurge a little yeah, you can treat yourself
You can make a little play for Archie stuff myself.
I can just ignore it.
That'll make you feel better, right?
Yeah.
I can eat my feelings.
You can invite over to your friend, Jubin.
Yeah.
He was looking for a best friend now that he's found out
this was all the rules to give me.
I said, Ellie, it was my former best friend,
and now he's gone.
I know you're my friend.
Oh my god, I know you so well, Jubin.
We always do this.
You left the dots there for me to connect.
You knew that I was gonna connect them.
Okay, guys, and in addition to that sweet sponsor,
we haven't even, well, maybe just a sweet
jumbo-tron message.
And the message?
This is a jumbo-tron message.
So if you want to get a message on the flop house, either as a business or as a personal message, this is a jumbo-tron message. So if you want to get a message on the flop house,
either as a business or as a personal message,
you can go over to maximumfund.org and fill it out
and then you get to put it up on our thing.
Oh, this is pretty cool.
We get to read it out loud in our sweep voices.
Usually it's me sometimes, it's Elliot.
And this message goes as follows.
Are bad movies getting you down?
How about a good film written and directed by a fan
of the flop house?
They watch.
Are fans of us, I guess?
It's called Prep School, a dark and twisted tale
of adolescence and revenge set at an elite
California boarding school.
Prep school stars Carly Schroeder, Ben Bellamy,
and the star of Peach's favorite, that's us,
just one of the guys. Clayton, Roner?
Prepp School is now available on iTunes, Direct TV, and other fine VOD platforms.
It's a small movie, but hopefully, not one deemed worthy of small timber.
Now, it's a thing.
Small timber is a thing.
Now, I probably mispronounced all those words.
And as far as I'm concerned,
the star of just one of the guys is Joyce Heiser.
I mean, yeah, so, but there can be two stars, right?
No.
There can be...
If I recall, there's only one star
that at the end of the movie, ripped open or short.
Mm-hmm. And it ushered us into an animated film. If I recall, there's only one star that at the end of the movie ripped open or shirt.
And it ushered us into an animated film.
Yeah, that was played on HBO all the time.
That's the moment where puberty happened across the country.
I am pretty impressed that you guys are influenced in the next generation of filmmakers.
Sounds like a mistake.
Yeah, I don't, it's going to be a lot of
injokes and the gas-free references that aren't going to make any, and sense
the people outside. Yeah. So you guys should search for Prep School on iTunes or
visit prepschoolmovie.com. That's all one word, prepschoolmovie, and then
.com. To check out the movie Prep School today. That's really impressive, making a movie. Yeah. You guys should check that out. We to check out the movie, Prep School Today.
That's really impressive, making a movie.
Yeah, you guys should check that out.
We should check out the movie.
We should have made a movie.
We should have made a movie.
Yeah, I mean, we're watching this movie.
I feel like I've wasted my time.
I mean, I think we learned some stuff, right?
Ghosts are terrifying.
Yeah, I learned about what a bass-side teacher in Queens knows, about bizarre myths. Well, this guy was out there making a whole movie. Mm-hmm.
The same night I presume. Oh, that's what happens when you're a creator as opposed to some kind of
jerk. Just consumes. I do want to say before we move on that our DC show on August 5th DC Comics to
Tech Comics. It's August 5th, Friday.
Yeah. Our Washington DC show at Black Cat is almost sold out.
I believe there are approximately 20 tickets left.
I don't know. I hate to say this, but I hope by the time you hear this,
it's already sold out and you hear this and you click on it and you see that
sold out and rinsed your garments.
You feel like you're really you smear ashes on your face.
You messed up big time, buddy.
And then you can tweet us and we'll say, I'm sorry for making fun of this.
Just saying they're refreshing the link over and over again, hoping somebody will turn
the tickets.
That's not going to happen.
But I'm going to turn tickets.
They're all vulnerable.
And I go on to stop hub and I'll stop some tickets.
I bought up a good chunk of the seats.
And I'm looking to unload them at 50 times the price.
Wow.
You don't want to risk these poor flop house people having half an audience, do you?
No, you'll pay top dollars.
Contact me, June Paren, at the Flop House Podcast.
Are you listening, Mom?
June somehow got a Flop-O's podcast email address.
But if they still exist and you want to be in an audience of 500 rabid Flop-O's fans
or 400 fans and 100 people who just wandered in because they'll go to any fucking thing,
then get on that.
We all not even announce the movie and we're not going to do it tonight.
Yeah, because we still haven't figured it out.
So follow the Flop out spot cast on Twitter and we'll probably announce it the day before
the show.
But now it's time to move on to letters from listeners like you.
Perhaps you wrote these letters.
I don't know.
The first one says, dear Jube, and you're my favorite.
Oh, we should listen to this, right? What? Wait, but you're my favorite. Oh, we should listen to this. What?
Wait, so you're my new best friend?
I don't know what's happening.
So this first letter is from full name with health
because I accidentally deleted the email.
So I don't remember.
Full name is voluntarily with that.
Wait, you delete the email?
So this is all just coming from memory?
Yeah, that's right.
OK.
I have photographic memory.
This goes to the beaches.
I'm spending my Saturday watching the Stewart trilogy of movies, head of the family and visible
maniac, Castle Freak.
There's so much TNA for the Gents.
But as a female flopper, I want some dicks and manass.
Can you add them Stuart?
Please recommend some movies for your female listeners who want some dicks and manass. Can you answer where please recommend some movies
for your female listeners who want some DNA.
I'm not asking Elliot because he only recommends
from the Hayes Code Filmara.
Wow, what a slam.
So, Milly it's slam.
I wish he was here to.
So movies for the ladies, my number one movie
doesn't actually feature any dicks,
but you should watch it anyway.
If you like a hundred pounds of,
wait, way more than a hundred pounds,
tons of pounds of man meat,
you should go watch Magic Mike XXL.
So you can see Channing Tatum and all the other boys
flex their beefcake bodies all over each other
and ladies and whatnot.
And it's all good, clean, kind of dirty,
but kind of clean fun.
There's no pain in the Magic Mike movies. There's no pain in the magic mic movies.
There's no pain in the magic mic movies.
If you want to see pain, I don't know, watch shame.
So you can see Michael fast, fast, fast, mean.
That's, that was going to be my top recommendation.
Top pick to watch a man go through the struggle of coping with sexual addiction.
If you want something sexy, I don't know whether it's, yeah, watch hollow man.
So you can see Kevin Bacon's's Kevin Bacon's half invisible weener
I would recommend in none of movie, but the what I think is the first episode to our premiere of vinyl
Now cancel the HBO TV show that features Bobby Kennavali and X in the shower
Totally starkers you need to see his hog. Let me tell you something, that man is packing.
I, not only did I see it in vinyl,
but I was a big boardwalk empire fan.
There's a scene in that movie, in that TV show,
oh my God, who is a full name with hell
that's gonna really enjoy this.
There's a scene where he is in the middle
of having sex with a prostitute very roughly.
When an assassination attempt is made on him, he very definitely maneuvers himself to the
prostitute, takes the bullet multiple times, then kills the assassin, and then soaked in
blood, heaving with rage with a leather belt wrapped around his neck as he's into getting
choked.
He stalks down the hall looking for other assassins,
totally naked, wholesome.
Swing in some pipe.
Ding dong.
Let me tell you something.
It is a terrifying sight to behold when you see it
and the directing and cinematography on this,
and I do say cinematography is beautiful.
So if you were interested in anything.
So it's like being led around by this, like,
dousing a rod of a ding dong that's just
swapping around and seeing a thing.
It's honestly a mind of its own.
Hunting down anybody who might cross him.
And let me tell you something, if full of them with health,
if you want, if you like your sexiness,
a little bit of terror, Bobby Kennavalli,
somewhere in the third season of Boardwalk Empire.
Yeah, if you like violence, like fighting along with your,
yeah, if you like a bloody snuff ol' up against.
You can, there's the Eastern promises.
Vigo Mortensen is totally nude while fighting off
a couple of Russian assassins.
He got Bronson, where new party is nude.
He's like, yeah, oil me up so I can fight these dudes
while I'm naked. Yeah, that's usually when you see a melody is when the man is in his sister's shirt.
It's not tenderness.
If you want to see just people chilling out while they're naked, watch, I don't know,
don't look now, but stop it after the nude scenes.
Is that movie sucks?
It's also pornography.
Yeah, if you can watch that, it's romantic.
Yeah, if you can watch tenderness. You can see the also pornography. Yeah, if you can watch the most romantic. Yeah, if you can watch Tenderknit.
You can see the Tender pornography.
But I appreciate, I always appreciate when a woman comes in
with as much perviness as one of us.
So I hope that we were able to help you
with a few recommendations.
It's a good thing, yeah, it's a good thing Ellie wasn't here.
You wouldn't have had that Bobby Kennavalli thing.
No, you would have had Yeah, it's good thing Ellie. It wasn't here. You wouldn't have had that Bobby Kennavoli thing. No, you have had like
1944's Statue of David has a hog on him
Nerd and vertigo give me your answers of the homework vertigo Jimmy Stewart's giant waste waste of pants
Sometimes see a little ball
Yeah, the 1936 romantic comedy moon struck in Moscow features a
sly wink by then famous actor Marvin Persamani.
And who boy did the governor Calvin Coolidge, then known as
Calvin Sweetwalker Coolidge, a small note studio head of the
Warner Brothers pictures, formerly known as Coolidge Pictures. I reminded me of a 1954 flick called Sweet Gale.
Musical that was... Sweet.
I like that your impression of Elliott is like an old-time newsreel announcer. I don't know how to do impressions. So this next letter is from RP, who writes,
I'm sending this in anticipation of Father's Day
on February 1st, so Dan has time to get a ship together.
Nope.
Maybe it's February 1st, 2019.
Here's the deal.
Dan's voice is eerioant of my dad same
Tomber tone cadence even word choice of course is about a decade or so
younger but it's still creepy they got me thinking about the time I tried to show
wet hot American summer to my dad I figured hey he's a fun guy and he's also
Jewish and grew up in Maine so this will go well it did not he watched in
stony silence and when it was over he turned to me with the sourful eyes of a man who was just mentally buried
his eldest son. So here's my question. What movies that you love have you tried to show
to your parents that went much worse than you anticipated?
Wait a movie that I showed my parents and went much worse than was anticipated. Yeah. Oh, man. I remember showing my parents recommending about Schmidt to my parents,
not realizing that they would see that movie and realize that they themselves are getting
old and that their lives are, they live in the Midwest and they're getting older
and they're like, we don't like this movie.
Oh, I'm like, but it's great.
Yeah, they took this like you commenting on like,
I don't know, I guess.
I think they saw when Jack Nicholson treats himself
to a medium blizzard as a treat for sending money
to that African kid to Indougu.
Yeah, I'm kidding.
But they saw like that kind of a little victory is being very depressing.
And yet, eerily reminiscent of the little victories they give them.
But since then, they've been climbing mountains.
They've been living life to the fullest.
Yeah, yeah.
Hopefully not listening to this podcast.
Yeah.
Just telling you, like, you were right, son.
We did think that.
A pouchment was totally great.
You're the best son ever.
I don't know that I have something exactly like this, showing a movie to my parents and
going worst-night anticipated.
I remember that when I was young, because I was the movie buff, I was the one in charge
of like taking my bike down to the
video store and picking out a movie. I remember coming home once with Wayne's World and my
parents just being like convinced that they would have no interest in seeing Wayne's World. And you know
what? The kind of like Wayne's World. I like it. Yeah. So that was a... But you like the movie Wainsworld? Wait, what? Come on, let's keep going. All right. Oh, so you're not you're not a Wainsworld fan? No, I'm just mess with it
Oh, I was I was thinking that you were I think now there's like this burgeoning theory about like how
Wainsworld was not a good movie and everyone just has nostalgia for it. Oh, man
I haven't seen a long time. I remember it being very important to my life.
That's what I'm saying though, right?
The thing about my personality.
A lot of those movies, you gotta go back
and be like, was it really, you know,
was the Transformers movie really the seminal artwork
of the 1980s, or am I just kind of exaggerating?
I mean, it was.
I mean, it was, it was, it was,
it was some well-dressed, great performance.
Sure, sure, but was that all it had going for it?
I mean, Optimus Prime dies, but is that,
you got the touches in there?
I guess, yes, I guess it was the seminal artwork
in the 1980s, never mind.
This one goes, dear flop house, long time writer,
first time listener, quick question,
has the show always been about movies?
I'll take my answer off the air.
Megadiddles, Ken Fist. I Fist, I gave his last name Ken Fist because he made a video for the Rocket
Crocodile in the world of tomorrow's song that, as he says, has puppets stop motion and
boobs and it's a really great video.
I put it on the website for last episode. I'll probably, if I recall, if I remember, I'll put it on the website again for this episode.
But you should check it out.
And that's really the main reason I read this letter.
It was just to give him,
yeah, give him some props for putting together
a great little video.
Which was a music video for a song that was put together
what, two years ago? Yeah. By, was that Jason
Michael McIasex? That's right.
Uh, who's great and put together a great little music music song out of sound clips from
our past episodes. Yeah. So you guys have way too much interaction with your fan base.
There used to be some Disney style clearing of the Canon,
some resetting, everything, back to the basics, three of you,
in a mountain shack for a few months,
just watching movies over and over again.
No, I'd rather a situation where if people don't like something
that they write, if they write enough emails to us,
we just change it entirely.
So if people are like,
we're tired of that house cat character you're always doing,
I'll just write them out of the show.
Why is he gonna be here anymore?
Cause the show's scripted.
We're gonna go 100% open to fan interaction and changing.
Exactly, wow.
That's very radical.
That'll, that'll, that'll,
thank you.
Thank you, Dan and me.
It's similar to American Idol,
how they have a show where you're like, if I don't like that person's face, I don't vote for them. That'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, that'll, last letter of the evening from Dan last name with hell. McCoy. Who writes, Dear floppers,
my dog is weird.
When he's on a walk and has to poop,
he'll often just stick his butt right against the chain link fence
and poop in someone else's yard.
Oh, what should I do?
I don't want a trespass,
but also my dog's poop is in the yard.
Thanks, Dan.
Well, first of all, I think that's awesome for you.
It's like one of your kids. One of your neighbors I think that's awesome. It's like when you're a kid.
When you're a neighbor.
When you're a kid.
And you have your friends over and you want to impress them.
So you sit on a wooden table any time you want to fart,
because it makes the sound really loud.
I see the dog as a following the same method,
where he's like, I'm going to show you,
you think a normal poop is weird?
I'm gonna show you one through the strainer of a chain.
These four equally separated poops.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a Play-Doh fun?
During.
So that's basically what I'm doing here.
Guys, I got a theory about this letter.
Okay.
I think Dan is putting his dog's poop in his neighbor's yard.
Okay.
And he sent us this letter as an alibi to cover his tracks.
Okay.
So he knows his neighbor's favorite podcast, the Floppy House.
Is these three great jokesters always yuking to laugh about shitty movies.
And so he knows that they're going to hear this letter.
Uh-huh.
They're going to be like, oh, okay, he can't help it.
The dog is doing that.
Yeah. And they might not even know it's their specific neighbor that wrote in, but they be like, oh, okay, he can't help it. The dog is doing that. Yeah, and they might not even know
it's their specific neighbor that wrote in,
but they're like, you know what, maybe this happens.
And this happens enough that I can forgive it.
And even if it gets a court,
the podcast is admissible evidence.
Yeah.
So it's, it's,
I mean, we all know it.
We all know it.
We're in admissible.
Absolutely admissible.
Oh no!
I mean, we all know that we're taping each other.
It's not like It's a wire.
You can put it up on the witness stand
and you can't cross-examine the podcast.
It just keeps playing, you know?
Yep.
OK, well, I think that's a good plan, Dan.
Yeah.
Read a letter about Doc's thing.
I have had this dream, guys.
I think it's achievable.
I just need you to support me a little bit.
Because I would like to put together a coffee table book
of photos of dogs' faces when they're pooping.
I mean, because they make the best face that's like this.
Most often it's a mixture of like kind of fear
and also concern.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
It looks so great.
And they look so great.
I don't necessarily need to see all the business.
Yeah.
I just like the dog's face when they're like,
I hope nobody grabs me.
I like it.
That's a great idea.
Yeah, I like that look of shame that they have on their face
when they're pooping and then the real like smile
after they've done.
Yeah, they're like, oh man, I feel so much better now.
But also the terror they have with their own poop. They want to get out of there, like right there and then the real like smile after they've done. Yeah, they're like, oh man, I feel so much better now. But also like the terror they have with their own poop.
Like they wanna get out of there, like right there and then.
Like if you want to, if you want to,
yeah they have to just like pick it up there,
they're pushing against the leash.
It's like postpartum depression.
They want the other one to have to do it.
And there's so not that way with other dogs poop.
No, they're freaking noses all up there.
Yeah, they see another dog's poop.
They're like, I'm gonna eat this thing.
Oh my God.
I bet it's delicious.
As opposed to us, we're the opposite way.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we take our poop and I'm like,
I'm gonna eat my name.
I have some of the friends.
Yeah.
Pass it down in the generation to generation
to our mom's friends.
Yeah.
Real great.
It's a call back.
It's comedy call back.
Real solid.
Classic bit.
Yeah, that's why I'm that far up on the wrong
I don't even know that means when we go into our next bit, which is what Dan?
The final bit of the evening, which is where we make recommendations of
movies we've seen that you should watch instead of pay the ghost, okay?
Well, we won't make Xuman go first in case he forgot that this is part of the
no, but I just recently watched a movie that I'll recommend. So
I know what to do. You guys go. I'll start out, I watched
Finding Dory, which is not oh good. I was worried you're going to
take mine. Just keep going. Not a movie that I think needs my
recommendation, because I believe it's like the highest
grossing
animated film ever or something like that.
Already?
Wow.
What?
What?
Oh, it's spit-tick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, shocked.
You've been on the table.
You've been on the table.
You've been on the money against finding money
in the top-animity comedy.
Oh, my God.
You're going to take your thumbs, man.
I think no.
My wife's operation. I think I'm right about that god, they're gonna take your thumbs, man. I think my wife's operation.
I think I'm right about that.
I think that she means your thumbs.
I think they're thumbtrends.
And they're gonna take my thumbs and I was gonna pay
that I have them transplanting under her.
I believe that finding Nemo was the previous champion
and I believe that finding Dory has surpassed it.
Anyway, one reason that it spoke to me though is, so I was not the biggest finding Nemo
fan.
I liked it, but it didn't really connect with me because it's a movie about the sort of
concern that parents have for their children.
And while I can empathize with that, while I can understand it, I don't have that personally
in my life.
And you love eating fish, so you're just
licking your chops the whole movie.
That's right.
It's like, why doesn't the father just eat the son?
So the knife and fork and it'd been a bib on
around you the entire movie.
But finding Dory in that it's about sort of living with this disability.
It's also about learning to live on one's own.
It's about Dory like learning to survive for herself.
And with like the way things are in my life right now, like surviving for myself is a big
concern that I have.
And sort of the themes of finding Dory resonated with
me, like the fear of being out there and having to take care of yourself in the world.
And what that means and just having to charge ahead.
And also that momentum like disease, right?
I do have that disease.
Who are you?
Is that a disease?
I'm your birthright.
I'm your birthright.
I'm your birthright.
I'm your birthright.
I'm your birthright. I'm your birthright. I'm your birthright. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend. I'm your Dory. We all have a sense of what that is by now.
I just wanted to talk a little bit about
how I found it very personally affecting.
So I enjoyed it a lot.
Finding Dory.
Thumbs up first down.
Now, I think I mentioned this before,
but you know, we got a guest on this episode.
So of course, it's a great jump and on point.
So I'm gonna throw out a little recommendation,
and this is mainly for my man, Jubin, over there.
Okay, I'll watch it.
Okay, so this is a movie from 1995.
Okay.
Directed by a little guy named Luke Up, Birkkovi Chi.
Okay.
Okay, you might know him as the director of a movie called Gouli's.
Okay.
Not Gouli's go to college, that was someone else.
Now this movie in the UK is known as the matriarch,
but here in the United States, it's called,
that's right, the granny.
Oh, God.
The heart move with the granny.
Yeah, it's a horror move called the granny.
Oh wow, are you familiar with it already?
I'll be honest with you.
I think I, in middle school, I rented that movie because I think I'd heard there was a naked scene.
Legend tells of a naked scene in the movie The Granting.
I write, and there, but there isn't, right?
There's just a bunch of...
No, there are totally naked scenes in the granny.
So, let me fill you in in case you don't remember.
Yeah, no, remind me of your...
So, the movie begins in Ye Olden times,
where there's a person who's totally possessed by something,
and this totally bad ass dude shows up
with a ponytail and a sword and he cures that person,
kind of, he doesn't, by curing him, he kills him, I think.
Okay, fast forward to present day,
this old woman who's got a ton of cash
is like, my family wants me dead
so they can inherit all my fucking stacks.
What am I gonna do?
I wanna live forever. So she talks to this
cool ass dude with a ponytail who looks very similar to the dude from the beginning of the movie,
right? And that dude who happens to be played by the director of the movie because he's like,
I kept trying to cast fucking badass cool dudes with fucking swords with ponytails. I couldn't find
him. I guess I'll have to play the role myself. Okay, so the granny is like, yo, I want this magical potion.
And he's like, okay, I'll serve it to you.
But you can't drink this potion.
I don't know, like, after midnight, I don't remember it that well.
However, she drinks at the wrong time.
Of course, she freaks out.
At some point, she dies.
And her family's like a bunch of ship bags,
except for the one kid who's like
super hot and beautiful played by Shannon Worre, who has been in a bunch of movies,
but she has glasses and always has her hair in a ponytail. So you're like, she's kind of gross.
And everybody in the family's like, you're gross. Is this place?
Shannon Worre has a child. There's just a grown Shannon. She is a grownup. Oh, okay.
So of course the granny dies and they take her away and the family starts partying.
Guess what?
The granny comes back to life as a magical monster
and totally starts murdering everybody.
Long story short, we get to a final battle.
I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's awesome.
So, Juben, if you have a chance,
you should re-watch the granny.
Maybe you saw like an edited version on USA or something
where they cut out all the boobs.
You should watch again, because there's totally a ton of that stuff.
I'll definitely catch up with it.
Only for the sake of like remembering if I saw those boobs or not all those years ago.
I'll, I want to say, yeah, yeah, it'll be like you had them a minute ago.
I'll remember this.
Yeah, I'll remember this.
Shripped down Mamri Lane.
Yeah.
So people are keeping track of home. You can check out the Flap House recommends,
Wiki website that keeps track of all the movies we recommend
and you can find out if I have now recommended the Granny
more than any other.
Oh, wait, this is just Santa go to recommendation?
It's one of them.
And I will try and tell you as human.
I don't know how you can watch it.
I don't think it's on DVD or on YouTube.
I'm just going to be on a lifeline. I'm just going to be you can watch it. I don't think it's on DVD or on YouTube.
I'm just gonna be on a lifeline.
I'm posting out of fine.
Yeah.
On this.
I mean, it's probably on like daily motion or something.
Okay.
I, there's, there's got to be some YouTube about that compilation of clips that I can just kind of
call like together and some semblance of the major moments.
There's a perfect way for you to watch a movie.
There's a bunch of clips in your life.
I can just like, like,
like, I get the implorcer for it.
I understand the gist of it.
And isn't that what a movie really is?
Just the gist of a plot.
Right.
I think good arts of that.
So I would recommend.
I think it's your turn.
I find I actually saw two movies over this last weekend,
The Lobster, which I don't know if you guys have talked
about recently, which I saw and is interesting,
but I don't know if I'd recommend as much as I saw
as the documentary I saw, which it was Weiner, which was the documentary about Anthony Weiner's
run for mayor of New York City after his scandal, a documentary that he allowed full access to his
campaign and that then got inside all access to the dissolution of his campaign once the the new allegations surfaced about him
continuing his photo sexting with random women he met on the internet. It is a really hard movie to
watch in a very uh... that's why the carlo's danger stuff came out. Yeah, it's absolutely well
yeah that is actually when it came out. That's exactly when it came out.
And it's just, it's very hard to watch because you see the effect it has on him and especially
his wife, whom I have a dean, who is a brilliant woman and is an innocent victim in all of this
and is being put to the ringer of dealing with this while also trying to get her husband
elected as mayor.
It's an amazing look at like the personal side of that scandal that was just a hilarious joke to everybody two summers ago.
So I would recommend that.
If you, if only just to see this, just what, how the inside machinations of a campaign
works when the head of it is undergoing just the most personal humiliations you have
ever seen.
Now you guys, you guys had to write about it quite a bit
for the daily show when this was happening, right?
It was actually the summer that John Oliver was posting
for John, he was subbing in.
You guys were both on the show.
So, do you think that affected your viewing of the movie much?
Or?
I think so a lot, yeah, because it's easy to look at it as a joke
while you're going through it, to laugh at it.
And also, it's not to like absolve them of any of his, you know, guilt
for it. It was like babes. Come on. But, you know, come on. What are you going to do?
City Leathers? I mean, the name just brings the mind. So what was the youth of St. New
Leathers sound like? I kept trying to get a joke on the Daily Show that never went through
that St. New Leathers sounded like an Australian bondage store. Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
It's it's it's it's like actually when you see her later by the election night when she
and this became a big story how she was trying to hunt him down at his own, you know,
election night party to humiliate him in front of cameras and confront him and how his
campaign had to like sneak him into the back entrance of him,
McDonald's at the bottom of the floor and get up
to his floor.
The humiliations he had to endure
are watching it now on the other side of it.
It's actually, you forget these politicians are people,
and that their families are people who watch the stuff,
just who endured just as much as they do.
It was-
And there's like a rabid attempt to reveal the most embarrassing and awkward and wacky bullshit.
Yeah. Absolutely. Which is not to say he's not totally guilty of doing all of it.
At the same time, though, there is a level of outrage at his actions that in the spectrum
of scandals, sex scandals that have hit politicians and celebrities in recent years,
isn't the worst thing in the world. Oh, you guys heard it here first, folks.
Shuban Bring Absolves Anthony Weiner.
I didn't say absolves.
I did not say that.
I just said totally exonerates.
I'm just saying you should be our next president.
Yeah, why not?
Well, guys, one last thing before we go.
I just want to remind everyone that we are part of the Maxime Fun Network of Podcasts,
which means that there are a lot of other great podcasts on Maxime Fun.
If you go to MaximeFun.org, you can see them.
Check them out.
There's a ton of great shows on there, like the greatest generation, a fun podcast about
Star Trek.
Yeah. And with our buddy Ben Harrison, is that it? the greatest generation, a fun podcast about Star Trek.
And...
With our buddy Ben Harrison.
Our buddy Ben Harrison.
And...
John Hodgman with our enemy, John Hodgman.
Yeah.
Or...
My brother and my brother and me
with our buddies, all of the Macrois,
or we got this with our buddy Mark Gaggney already.
Or Bob Rocket rocket a show
That's about great pop culture stuff pop from a perspective that isn't just a bunch of idiots like us. Yeah
There's a lot of great shows so check any of them out and yeah, I think it'd be happy
but
Now it's time to say goodbye. You've been thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me guys
Thank you for petting Archie who who's back in your lap again.
Yeah, this is a great cat you have. Archie is adorable.
Oh, yeah.
Check his bag before he leaves, Dan.
Yeah.
You'll come with me, right, Archie?
We'll build a new life together.
We did away from this bustling city countryside.
So, well, while Dan pets his cat, I've been steward Wellington.
I've been Dan McCoy.
I'm a human parade.
And I had everyone.
Hell yeah.
So, you've done this show before, so you know, we basically are just going to do a bunch
of scenes.
Yeah. So, just come up a bunch of scenes. Yeah.
So just come up with a cool character for yourself.
Oh, okay.
Like a fighter.
Just like the time to do it.
Yeah, I guess, watch Buckler.
Yeah.
Let's say my guy does point.
Okay, my guy's very quiet,
but he winks all his opinions.
Okay, that's not gonna translate well.
It's all about the Omenium, but. It's cool. A lot of you on Medium, but...
What's different though?
How do you want that?
Yeah, podcasts the same now.
Maximumfund.org.
Comedy and culture, artist owned.
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Hello Brent!
Travis!
Welcome to Trends Like These!
What's Trends Like These you ask?
Well, it's a podcast where we take the news trending
on the internet and we cover it in podcast form.
We go beyond the headlines, beyond the memes
to bring you the real story so that when your friends
bring it up, you can look real smart.
We take things that need to be debunked
and we debunk them and then we take things
that need to be re-bunked and we re-bunk them.
We bring you all the details and we give you a spin on it, our opinions, our thoughts,
and we also try to dig up some positive things to talk about, so it's not all bummers.
Just a couple of real-life friends talking internet trends.
So join us every Thursday on MaximumFun.org and wherever podcasts are found. Sound.