The Frank Skinner Show - merriment with this week's guest Charlotte Hatherley

Episode Date: December 5, 2009

This week Frank Skinner, Emily and Gateth are joined by Charlotte Hatherley and have exciting World Cup news!

I've got about ten seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave, at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there, too. I've run out of time, though. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. Hello, it's the Frank Skinner Absolute Radio podcast and I'm with Emily and Gareth. Hello.

And the show for us is over for you as yet to begin. And the guest was Charlotte Hatherley. Oh, I loved her. Oh, I got her name wrong there. Hatherley. Yeah, she was lovely. Can she be my friend or does that sound a bit weird? Well, she's a pop star,

so I don't know if she's going to want to hang around with any old soak. But yeah, she was great. The show, I think there are some people who like the show because sometimes it's chaotic and seems to be like the screaming one might hear from the home of someone in terrible mental anguish. You know Jane Eyre? You know he kept his wife locked in there? Oh, yeah. I feel if she'd have had a microphone in her room, that's what the show...

It sounded like that. Some people like it when it's like that. They do, they like it. I personally felt like... You know when you're a child and you run down a very steep hill and you thought, this felt like a good idea at the beginning,

but I simply can't stop now. I'm out of control. I don't want to fall, so I have to just move my legs as fast as I can and see what happens. That's how it was. But yeah, it was exciting in that respect. I loved it though. And also your manager came in and that made me happy.

Well, he came in, I think, he got an emergency cab because he thought I was hysterical. When I say hysterical, I mean with a small h. And yeah, he came in to slap me across the face. And that, I felt, helped. I don't think he's slapped me across the face since I hosted the Brits. Anyway, enjoy. Absolute Radio.

Oh, yeah, the World Cop, the World Cop. So you may have heard that me and David Baddiel are going to... I say me and David Baddiel. I'm never having to promote my own radio show, so I had to do a link where I said, The World Cup Podcast. And I thought I'd better put Dave first, otherwise he'll be on the phone saying,

don't switch the billion at this late stage. So, yeah. Oh, by the way, this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I haven't even done that bit. I'm with Emily and Gareth. Good morning. I'm all over the place. Yeah, you're with Emily and Gareth

but it's going to be David Baddiel this, David Baddiel that. Yes, that is true. I don't know, maybe I won't mention it again. I feel it's all over the station like some terrible rash already. I'm already sick of it. Oh, to hell with the World Cup.

Now, I did watch The Draw yesterday. Did you watch The Draw? Yeah, I watched that because I wanted to see what Charlize Theron was wearing. Oh, you watched The Draw and you're a girl. What about that? Oh, it's 1963, everyone, with Frank Skinner. Oh, if only it was. God, I was handsome in 1963.

Just got my first job in the foreign office. Frank, they said to me, you're quite a character. You barely... I said, not a woodbine. God, we laughed. Yeah, it was... I enjoyed the World Cup draw in that it was rubbish. Oh, I hated it. Why was it like some strange corporate? Yeah, it was like being holiday bingo.

You know, sort of Botlin's bingo with Charlize. Charlize kept saying, so, if I take a ball out of this pot, what does that mean? Yeah, no, I like that. And there was a bit, my favourite bit was they had Makaia Ntini, the South African bowler, was introduced. And Jonathan Pearce was trying to think of helpful commentary to say, and he said, the great South African fast bowler now, teeny. Bowls very wide on the crease. I thought, you're really getting much too cricket detail there at the World Cup draw, Jonathan. Sure up about it.

I didn't see the draw, but I saw a lot of the run-up to the draw on Sky News. Oh, you watched the run-up to the draw? Are you one of these people who watches the run-up and thinks, oh, that'll do me? Yeah, I lost interest. They talked a lot about the ball. You know how Sky News, it goesup and thinks, oh, that'll do me. Yeah, I lost interest. They talked a lot about the ball. You know how Sky News, it goes round and round and they keep doing the same things every so often? They talked about the ball a lot,

because they designed a special ball. Yes. The best thing about Sky News is, the fact is, there isn't 24 hours worth of news. There isn't. So you have to talk about everything till it's dead. Dried out, horrible husk of news with nothing left at all. When there was a whale stuck on the Thames, do you remember that?

There was a whale that was trapped. Oh, yes, I remember that. And they were saying, right, well, we've got... They'd been talking about the whale for about three hours. There wasn't that much to say. Like, oh, look how the water comes out of its back. You've said it then about a whale. They got this...

It doesn't look well. He said, look, we've got Dave Willits on now, the Sky Sports angling expert. They got him on to talk about the whale and they showed you this thing up the river and he said, oh look, there's this, that

platform's obviously on its way to help. That platform was a fixed platform been there about two years. Anyway, this is not very well caught. So, Frank, is our World Cup group a good one? Do you really want to know? Yes, I do want to know. Well, it's a good one if you like doll games. I would rather have had really, really difficult teams.

Early on, but then we might get knocked out. No, you've got to start, you know, you've got to kick... It's like this show. We started off, you know, rocking and rolling. Or did we? Anyway, I am... There's a World Cup chart in the Times today, so I'm very excited about it. Oh, you're going to fill it out? Well, my

best ever World Cup chart, I was in Dresden. Not for the bombings. I was... Although I was with the Foreign Office at the time. I said, leave it to Bomber Harris. He knows what he's doing. And Bomber Harris, these parents showed great foresight. So, I...

So, yeah, there was this street, which was like a red light area, and it was just, I don't know if you can say prostitutes this time of the morning, it was women who, those kind of women, all sitting in the window, and they had flags of the various nations they came from. They'd World Cup-themed the brothel. It was brilliant. And it looked like the best World Cup wall chart that's ever come out. You had to fill in a smiling prostitute for every country.

Oh, man, it made me so happy. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. me so happy frank skinner on absolute radio absolute radio well it was in germany obviously me and me and david baddiel did the world cup and uh we had we had a spiff in time but god i i got fat did you well in germany you can only they eat fat basically you go and they just they just eat red meat that's all they eat and it was you're quite a slight thing as well. I am quite slight. And David was on one of his, he started off on one of his diets. Oh. Because David likes to diet.

Oh, he loves to diet. Oh, man. I went out with Dave once and we went out for lunch. And he said, I said, do you want one of your, he said, I'm on the Atkins diet. I said, oh, right. You know, the Atkins is just protein. Yeah, no carbs. So the

lunch came along and he said, I'll have the chips and then he ordered dessert after. I said, it's an odd version of the Atkins diet. He said, I don't go on it till two o'clock in the day.

I don't think it works, does it? My best thing once was I went round Dave's house and he said to me, do you want a chocolate? I said, I will have a chocolate, thank you very much. So he took an envelope, a padded envelope, out of a drawer. They're like blackmail chocolates. And took it. And I thought, you know, they'd been sent by a mad fan

and been injected with bromide or something. And I said, where did that... He said, no, no, he said, I've joined a chocolate club. How old is he, nine? They send me a different kind of chocolate every week, different box of chocolates. Chocolate club! How marvellous.

I love David's chocolate club. So whether they'll be able to find us in South Africa, I don't know the chocolate. I'm imagining a man on a scooter with a padded envelope on the back and some milk tray. Can I say milk tray? Do they still exist, milk tray? Oh, do they?

That's this morning's phone in on 8-12-15. Looking forward to it. Do milk trays still exist? I wouldn't see how many... That's not really's phone-in on 8.12.15. Looking forward to it. Do we still exist? I want to see how many... That's not really the phone-in. We've had a text-in already on 8.12.15, haven't we? Yeah. Gareth, would you like to do the honours?

Don't squabble about who reads it out. Dear Frank... There'll be others. I'm, you know, fingers crossed. Dear Frank, I think I've figured out how to finally have a text read out on your show. One, start with Dear Frank, I think I've figured out how to finally have a text read out on your show. One, start with Dear Frank. Two, tell Emily she looks great and her voice sounds sexy.

Three, tell Gareth his last gig was excellent. From Rohan in London, hoping to hear this on the podcast. Well, frankly, I don't think I get enough texts in telling me my last gig was excellent. No. Why is that? Why is that, do you is that i don't know it's a mystery yeah i think we get too many saying that emily yeah we get a lot of emily

it might be i think we don't get nearly enough i feel that they come from the same people but they all live in north london and they all use your email address. How dare you. Yeah, I wish they wouldn't do that. That's just ridiculous. Absolute Radio. So, I tell you what, I'm quite excited. Rod Stewart's on ITV tonight. Oh. Yeah, he's on.

And it's like a sort of a special ITV. You know those sort of special ITV things that aren't that good? It's one of those. What do you mean? What is it? What, an evening with? Yeah, but it always feels like he's turned over the church hall. I don't know what it is, but I like the cosiness. I once went to an audience

with Rod Stewart. Do you remember those audience with programmes? Oh yeah. They still do them. I went to an audience with the Spice Girls. We've all been to one of those, love. Oh, well, OK, yeah, but this was particularly good because when you go to those things, the whole thing was set up. You'd be in the green room having a drink before

and someone would come up and say, one of the producers would say, here's a question I'd like you to ask, blah, blah. So it was all set up. They knew what questions was coming and all that, which is fine, you know, who cares? But Rod, apparently, he said, no, no, I don't need any. I'll just, you know, I'll busk it.

Which is, I admired him for that. But obviously it was, you know. Did he mean he was going to take a collection? Yes. Is that what he meant by busking? Well, he said, what they used to do, they used to put all the celebrities at the front for security. And then they'd put, you know.

People like me at the back? The ordinary people. Well, you'd have been probably a plus one. But the people who just came on the other day would be at the back. But Rod, man of the people, said, no, no, no, I want the celebrities at the back. I want the real people at the front. I thought, good on you.

Good on you, Rod. So anyway, he comes on stage, and he says, I'll sort the questions. Don't worry about that. So he does a couple of songs, lovely says to the he said anyone got any questions, bloke puts his hand up and he says yes mate, I thought this is brilliant

this is like, not many comics would dare to this, this bloke said why don't you make good albums anymore like you did in the 70s and Rod made some terrible thing about everyone's got's got different tastes and oh man it was so awful and then it went on and he didn't ask any more questions for about half an hour he obviously once bitten and then um then he thought i'll go i think he got the note from the producer

go to the celebrities and of course i don't know if you know this but rod is very nearsighted is he yeah so um and of course he can't wear the if you know this, but Rod is very nearsighted. Is he? Yeah. And of course, he can't wear the glasses on stage. No matter how long the fringe, you'd see the edge of the rim. And so he went random. He went completely random. He said, any questions from the celebrities? And somebody put their hand up.

And Rod, he sort of squinted and said, is that John Travolta? And a voice said, no, no, it's Bradley Walsh. I've never seen such... I don't think I've ever seen such disappointment on the face of a major recording star. They are quite low rent sometimes, those audience reels. What are you saying about Bradley Walsh? No, I'm just saying at the Spice Girls, there was Linda Bellingham and Lee Sharp, and that was your lot.

Oh, you were there as well, sorry. No, I wasn't at the Spice Girls. I'd have been happy to have been at that one. I just, I went up to all, there was a time I went, I'd been to everything I was invited to, basically. It was just, they didn't bother inviting me, they just sent a car. They knew I'd go. Have you been to an audience with Garris?

No, not one of those programmes. Yesterday we went to see Tori Amos, didn't we? Is it Tori Amos or Tori Amos? Tori Amos. I don't know. Okay. No idea. And so I was in an audience with you. Yesterday we went to see Tori Amos, didn't we? Is it Tori Amos or Tori Amos? Tori Amos. I don't know. Okay. No idea.

So I was in an audience with you. Right. We were in an audience with you. That doesn't count. That doesn't count as an audience with Frank Skinner, does it? Does it not? No, it's not about being in an audience with Frank Skinner, is it? She was good, though, wasn't she? Oh, I can't tell you.

I honestly, I didn't know anything about Tori Amos. I only went because my girlfriend's sister, didn't know anything about Tori Amos. I only went because my girlfriend's sister, Rachel, is mad about Tori Amos. And I thought, well, I'll go, you know. I mean, I can cope with anything. I took my iPod, just in case. Turned out, she absolutely blew me away. Who'd have thought that?

She was absolutely brilliant. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio Absolute Radio So I cried at Tori Amos The last song she did I cried twice yesterday Why else did you cry? What was the other reason?

The other one was a bit... No it wasn't They showed highlights from the 90 World Cup Oh that's really sweet, Frank. So I cried twice for very various reasons. A delicate love song from a woman with ginger hair, followed by some shots of sweaty Englishmen in Turin. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily and Gareth,

and our guest Charlotte Hathaway will be in in a little while. Well, she's just come in, actually. She did just come in. I wasn't going to tell them that. We had an incident. There was a social transgression not a tiger woods transgression no the security man from the front desk uh brought brought charlotte in and charlotte was all lovely and she gave us a big no she did look lovely and he he was in a uniform and i i god i thought it was foxy noxia took took a wrong turn in. Yeah. He was escorting her. He was, yeah. But anyway, she did look nice.

I'm very optimistic now about the interview. Isn't it? How do you judge people like that? I like her already. She had good personal feng shui. She had to be taken back out, though, because we weren't ready for her. She had to be taken out.

No, we weren't. Well, we weren't ready. I haven't prepared my detailed interview notes yet. Just talk amongst yourselves while I do that. OK, so you two had an incident, didn't you? Oh, yeah, we had an incident, right. You haven't told me about this. What was the incident? Well, following on from the endless text we get of people staring at Emily over the webcam,

we were walking down a slightly dodgy street in Soho. Were you? Can I ask why? Well, we were on the way to get Emily's shoes sold. Sold? Sold. Resold. Okay. Not sold. She's not out selling her shoes. Things haven't gone that bad yet.

Times are hard and we've got to sell Emily's shoes. And we're walking down this little past some dodgy shops, and there was an old man. And suddenly, this street in London turned into Dickensian England. London, okay. And this old man goes,

Ha ha ha, lucky young man! Lucky young man! Yeah, you weren't doing that thing when you waved that lottery ticket when you walked down the straightway. He was looming out of a strip joint, though, which I thought was a bit of a backhanded compliment. Yeah. Yes.

We were terrified. Gareth put a really protective fatherly arm over me. It was really sweet. Yes. Well, do you take it as a compliment? I don't like it when people say that. What about you? Well, if you go abroad sometimes, people say, well, you are a very that if obviously if you go about you well if you

go abroad sometimes people say well you are very lucky young man if you with if you're an attractive young woman as if you know as if you have one in a tombola and i i resent it we i went to clothes shopping with emily after the show what a social life i don't want people to think we just turn up here and only meet in the studio oh no we have. We have a social web, don't we? Yeah, we went clothes shopping to buy you a suit. I had to buy myself a suit because I'm wearing a suit today, by the way. I don't know if you noticed that. Yeah, it looks fierce.

Yeah, it looks. Fierce. Yeah, and I think it's actually Ted Baker. And we went looking for, I was doing a TV show this week. I know it's hard to believe, but I was and I had to get a suit for it. And actually, the reason I'm wearing a suit today, I'm going to tell you this, is yesterday I had quite baggy trousers on and a puffer jacket. And I looked in the mirror and I thought,

it looks like if somebody had kidnapped one of N-dubs and kept them for 40 years and they had to wear the same clothes, I look like it was the embarrassing sight of a greying-haired man in some sort of wacky hip-hop outfit. I'm glad you finally realised. You had a back-to-the-drawing-board moment. I did. I've got to really rethink that.

Well, I was thinking, and I said to my girlfriend, Kath, for support. I needed support because it was a difficult, emotional moment. I said, do you think this outfit's a bit young for me? She said, well, I think you should just wear suits. Did she? Yeah. She said, you're at an age now where you should just wear suits. And I thought, you know, she's right. Yeah, but the suit

you tried on last week wasn't quite right. And I told you, in no uncertain terms. It had too much material in the... There were crotch issues. There were. There was enough crotch for me to... If I had a small kangaroo, which I don't, I could have carried it quite easily. I mean, that's what it was like.

It made me look positively marsupial. I said to the guy, I said, the trousers are a bit marsupial, aren't they? He said, we can take them in, but I wasn't convinced. Absolute. Radio. So, Charlotte Hatherley has joined us in the studio. What about that?

Woo! Thanks, that was good. Sorry, Charlotte, that was very welcoming of you. We've never quite worked out, Charlotte, we've been doing this since March, we've never quite worked out how to welcome the guests in the right way, because we don't want to whoop. Whoops, no.

You must do a lot of radio shows. What's the normal greeting? Just straight in. Really? Straight in, Frank. You must do a lot of radio shows. What's the normal greeting? Just straight in. Really? Straight in, Frank. No claws? No. No fanfare.

But there's croissants here. There's croissants and fruit and coffee, so it's all good. Yeah, well, you were right with that. We've been worried the security man brought you upstairs. That's never happened before. I know. Maybe I'd upset him. Did someone go off in the foyer?

I don't know. He didn't talk to me. He was being very rude. Well, we can sort this out, I think. Let's sort it out on air. Get him up here now. We'll have a trial. We'll have a mock kangaroo court.

I'll just see what I've got in the crotch of my trousers. There'll be one down there. So, look, we love your album, Charlotte. Thanks very much. We're so relieved that we did. Otherwise, we have to lie, obviously, to the guests. We really genuinely liked it. It's called New Worlds.

It is, yeah. And let's get out of the way. It's out now, isn't it? Yeah, it was out a few weeks ago. Yeah. So I would very much recommend you go and buy it, you people out there. So, most people, I guess, do they know you from Ash?

Yeah, mostly, but this year I've been on tour with Bat for Ashes for eight months. I've been playing guitar and bass with her. So it's starting to wane, the Ash collection, but yeah, mostly. Is it a thing that... I mean, you know people don't like talking about their past things. You want to say, oh, that's all behind me now. I've risen from Ash. You don't stop going on about three lions, though.

Well, what can I do? It's not about me. It's about Charlotte. Shut up. But it was only four years ago. That's the thing. I only left ash when I was 26, 27. Right.

And I'm just 30. So, you know, it doesn't feel like I've had a massive amount of distance from it. It's still quite relevant. I was very excited to see that you'd work with brian ferry yeah mainly because um i like to do an impression i thought this could give me a okay every now and again it is it must be like that yeah it's almost like vick grieves and shooting stars he did a fantastic brown ferry did he really want that now what you've done. You've made what I consider to be an unfavourable comparison.

I don't think so. It's very favourable. We haven't gone on to the fact your mum was in Carry On films. Guess what's coming next? That's the gold that's coming up. So you're touring, or are you about to tour? I've just finished. Oh, we can't plug that now.

Well, I'll be touring next year, but I've just been on tour all year long, so I've only just got back, and I'm just a bit shell-shocked. Do you like it? Yeah, I mean... Do you like all the hotels and travel and all that stuff? There's something quite special about touring. It's a sort of unique experience.

And it's weird, I found with Ash especially, because you're touring with a bunch of people that you don't necessarily hang out with when you sort of go back home. And you meet up at airports and you go off for, like, adventures and then you have a bit of a break and you don't speak to each other at all. But you share all these sort of quite intimate, weird experiences. Oh, I imagined you'd be like the famous five, you know. You'd sort of be all hanging around together all the time with a small dog.

Because it's so full on, you know, you're just in each other's faces all the time. And especially with Ash, I was the only girl with like ten blokes. I suppose that is a... Oh, that's my dream. Lucky you. I bet that makes it a bit, they're sort of watching Bruce Willis videos in the tour bus. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. And you're playing with my little pony at the back.

That's right. For those of you who phone in with euphemisms, that wasn't one. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. This is the Frank Skinner Show on Absolute Radio, and Charlotte Hathaway is our guest this morning. She's still here.

She hasn't walked, in case you're wondering. Now, Charlotte, I briefly touched upon the point that your your mother was in um carry on movies that must have been um so were you tiny tiny then yeah um i don't i don't remember her filming them i think i was too young for that but i grew up on carry on films we just watch it all the time yeah i was obsessed them. And she was in four or five? You were obsessed because she was in them? Not so much that. I just thought they were the funniest things

ever. And then as you get older, you sort of realise that they're quite filthy. Yeah. But when you watch it as a kid, it's all very innocent and kind of weird. It's quite a surreal world. Did you ever answer the phone and hear... Did that ever happen? No. So they didn't come round your house and stuff?

No. I sat on Charles Hawtrey's knee. Did you? As a child. That's amazing. I did as well. But that was much later. You know, you had to get in showbiz any way you can, I found.

You sat on Charles Hawtrey's knee. Is there a photograph of that? Pretty cool. No. Oh, that would have been such an album sleeve, Charlotte. I know. And, yeah, Mum, she went for the Pauline Fowler role of EastEnders, and she lost out to...

Oh, she auditioned for it? She could have been Pauline Fowler. And, you know, she's been in loads of stuff. She went to RADA, and so she's quite, well, you know, theatre-trained and a bit of a lovey. Yeah. So she sort of, when I was growing up, she hated talking about carry-ons, because she kind of thought they were a bit of a lovey. Yeah. So she sort of, when I was growing up, she hated talking about carry-ons

because she kind of thought they were a bit beneath her. Yeah. But now, you know, she absolutely loves it. And she was in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Oh, was she? She was a zombie. Oh, so she's... I like that.

So she's still at it. Yeah, no, she's... Oh, well, will she be listening? Is she the sort of mum who listens if you're on the radio? She will not be listening to this, no. Okay, well, okay. What the hell with her, then? She's the sort of mum who listens if you're on the radio. She will not be listening to this. No. OK. OK. What the hell with her, then?

Here we are, plucking our career like there's no tomorrow. The way this show's going, there won't be. Hey! Hey, Dave! Yes! That was a fictional person. So did you not consider acting, then, as a career? There must have been, because you'd have had all the contacts.

No, not at all. No, I hated it. I was too shy, I think, as a kid. I hated drama. My dad's a writer, but me and my two sisters were all musicians. It's a fabulously creative family. Yeah, isn't it? It's nice.

How many are you? How many siblings? There's three ladies. And you're all musical? Yeah. Now, would you be one of those? Because I went and saw Rufus Wainwright. And they all...

He's like his auntie, he's a folk singer, and his dad and his sister. And there was about nine of them on stage, all related. And they said, this is basically what we do at Christmas. We all sit around and play. And I thought, oh, that'd be lovely. Would you do that? Yeah, no, oh, that'd be lovely. Would you do that? Yeah, no, I think that'd be awful.

No, I think with sisters, I think we'd drive each other crazy. We'd kill each other. Don't you get on the piano at Christmas and stuff? No. Oh. Not really. My big sister's moved to Sydney now, so... Well, that makes it difficult.

Yeah. You could Skype. You could do it on Skype. You could Skype, yeah. Have the Skype. The Franks family all get around and play The Fall don't you which is very musical it's fabulous

my dad going we did have a text for Charlotte though didn't we yes we did Frank can you ask Charlotte if she did anything with Andy Partridge Earl from Slough that sounds euphemistic. You sound miles away now, suddenly to me.

How weird. Something weird has happened. Did you do anything? I did. I wrote a song with Andy Partridge. He's a hero of mine. XTC is one of my favourite bands. Yes, I remember.

For my last record, we co-wrote loads of songs, but one of them ended up on the record. A very nice man he is from Swindon. I went to his little shed in his garden. Now, I'm a man in his garden. Did he have a pear tree? He did. Did he?

He had loads. You will see, that's the photo opportunity you want, is it, Andy Parker with a pear tree. Who'd be able to resist that? How Christmassy. Nearly as Christmassy as the fall. Yes. No, the fall is autumn, surely surely you've got completely mixed up and um well last week we did a similarity between me and the guest

do you remember that yes john richardson was on and what was the similarity the striking and remarkable similarity my name's gareth richards but my dad's called john richards so i'm john richards son you can imagine how that went down. John Richardson couldn't breathe, he was so appalled by that. Gareth's claimed that he's got something in common with Charlotte, he's been saying all morning.

You were born in 1979 and I was also born in 1979. It is a small world. I imagine Arthur C. Clarke will be on the phone at any time saying, can I do a documentary about that? I think there's a glitch in the Matrix. Yes.

One of those strange moments where it seems like the whole universe is connected. And as they say in Charlotte's house, M-A-T-R-I-X. So, yeah, so that is... Now, what was that thing your mum... I want to hear about your mum now, because, as I say, all the best stories happen off air. Your mum hoovering.

Was it your mum or was it your girlfriend? Well, Laura was watching my mum. Laura, my wife, was watching my mum hoovering. And my mum hoovered over a cotton reel. Deliberately? No, by mistake. But the thread started going up and then the cotton reel the whole thing was unraveling into the you know the thing that spins around in the

hoover that was i haven't seen one for many years i've heard the cleaner with one but i've never looked well it was it was reeling up the whole cotton reel and the cotton reel was dancing around so a mum was transfixed by it why didn't she switch it So her mum was transfixed by it. Why didn't she switch it off? Well, she got transfixed by it, so she just let the whole thing go up. Is your mum a kitten? She's many things, but not a kitten. So, but... And so she let the whole thing go up

just because she was transfixed by it. And Laura said, why did you do that? And she said, oh, it was just dancing around so amazingly. And then she had to take the hoover apart and unravel it back onto the spool and Laura said well just cut it off and she go I can't do that I want the cotton she kept the cotton as well the cotton so she said I'm liking the sound of your mom she sounds like a an eccentric character have you ever done so that was something she did for the curiosity she just let the whole thing go just because she wanted to see what it would have you

ever done anything like that um i killed a cat once for that very same reason just for curiosity i've never my mom used to say i wish she'd done this now because sadly she's she's she's dead my mom but she all through her life she said she'd looked at the back of television sets you know they used to have the back on with the grid before the plasma and she used to really dream of pouring a kettle of boiling hot water down the back while the telly was on and obviously it would have been extremely

dangerous and expensive but I wish now, it makes you think it's worth doing those things so if there's anyone at home thinking of doing something really dangerous no actually I'll take that back so i think we now come to the to the end of the show charlotte do you have a final word for us um no okay well that'll do that's a final word i've uh i've stuck with it for years and uh go and buy charlotte's album which is called new worlds because we're not just saying it because she's here it is actually

rather splendid and that's about all from us so good day to you Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio Absolute Radio