The Gargle - Dream jobs | Germaphobes | Crisp flavours

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

Guest editors James Colley and Alison Spittle join host Alice Fraser for episode 140 of The Gargle - the sonic glossy magazine to The Bugle, with one rule: no politics!💭 Dream jobs🥪 Sandwich smuggle🧫 Gen Z germaphobes🥔 Crisp flavours🧰 ReviewsStory 1: https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/lucid-dream-work-prophetic-ai-b2457929.htmlStory 2: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/fined-3300-for-chicken-sandwich-australia-border-control-say-import-permit-needed-fine-could-have-been-higher/ZOFZOY2O2JGT3J77CZQIBZFG44/Story 3: https://nypost.com/2023/11/27/lifestyle/half-of-gen-z-are-germaphobes-worried-about-infections/Story 4: https://www.theguardian.com/food/2023/dec/02/the-weird-secretive-world-of-crisp-flavoursHOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donateCONTENTS00:00 Start02:05 Front cover03:14 Satirical cartoon03:34 Story 1: Lucid dream startup says people can work in their sleep10:13 Ads11:56 Story 2: NZ gran fined $3300 for bringing a chicken sandwich through border control16:39 Reviews22:24 Story 3: Half of Gen Z are germaphobes26:20 Story 4: Who decides which countries get which crisp flavours?36:14 Bye / Anything to plug?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

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Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. At a speed that should be impossible, it leaves the solar system. Inside, two indescribable beings look down at a man on a table. Despite forms that defy the human eye's capacity to understand what it sees, they are both wearing lab coats. Turns out. They surmise in a language beyond words. They make notes. If we could understand a language that bends time,

they'd be saying something like this. The bottom two appendages are for ambulating between chairs. The middle two appendages are for scratching and operating the rectangle. The upper appendage is for observing the rectangle. All evidence indicates that the beings exist to serve the rectangles. The orbs

within the upper appendage appear to take in visual information from the rectangle. Thus it is only logical that the three holes at the front are for absorbing the rectangle through other senses. Is it taste or smell? But what are the flaps on the side for? Are they for deceleration? Balance? Are they genitals?

And then the indescribable beings realise the flaps serve the most important function of all. The flaps listen to the gargle. The Sonic Glossy Magazine to the Bugles. Audio newspaper for a visual world. This is the gargle. All of magazine to the bugles audio newspaper for a visual world this is the gargle, all of the news, none of the politics, I am your host Alice Fraser

and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are James Colley hello, thank you for having me it's a pleasure as always and Alison Spittel hello that's a much cooler introduction, I want to have that introduction let's do it again James Oh, that's a much cooler introduction. I want to have that introduction.

Let's do it again. James. I can't be right on that. I think it's Yosamity Sam. They originated that. I'm definitely biting off Yosamity Sam. Well, before we buy our tickets and put on the team scarves of this week's top stories, let's have a look at the front cover of the magazine this week.

The front cover is a special Christmas cover saying Welcome to the gargoyle end of year gift guide and guilty Santa fantasy, aka Santa-cy roundup. I've always been curious as to what Mrs. Claus's first name is. We know nothing about Mrs. Claus other than she's married to Santa Claus and you know it must be hard being an elf and being Santa in a way he's a bit like Lizzo as in he's known for being jolly

bad work practices well this is it you see how does santa have friends up in the north pole everyone is a subordinate where does the line go you know what i mean i think that's what happened with lizzo i think she didn't see people who were working for her as people that were working for her and some of us are friends who she pays and uh never works out well for Santa or for Lizzo. Love you both, guys. Santa would be such a good friend, though, because Santa has all of the gossip. Just imagine being like having B3 wines deep and you're like, do you want to look at the naughty list?

Like, yes, I want to look at the naughty list. Yes. And this week's satirical cartoon is the Oxford Dictionary's Word of the Year, Riz posing provocatively with its fellow kids, which is to say words that have lost their meaning by being used too much. So now they're used to mean everything, like when fascists call other people fascists. Now it's time for your top story. Top story, sleeping on the job news and this is the terrifying news that we may soon break the

one barrier that has kept us going uh from day to day which is that we may now be able to work in our sleep uh james collie i've caught you sleep working a number of times can you unpack this story for us i've slept through some of the best days in the office uh it's this is a device called halo from a company called prophetic which i believe is ironic because no one involved in the office uh it's this is a device called halo from a company called prophetic which i believe is ironic because no one involved in the creation of this is ever seeing heaven now the idea is this is like you are going to lucid dream and in your lucid dream you are going to be able to solve puzzles and work it's so there was a time when like lucid dreaming was supposed to be like a holodeck thing like you can be anywhere you want you can fly you can do whatever you want now they're saying okay look yeah sure you can fly

but we really need you to work on this excel spreadsheet for the first seven and a half hours of your sleep maybe you can take half an hour in between to work on something else but you could get and then you can get this done right now we need you to work for your boss who is sleeping a deeper sleep in a nicer bed than you'll ever have this is actually this pairs up with um i don't mean to pitch something right up the top of the show but i had an idea for a show that's kind of like shark tank but what we do is we take startup founders and we push them into an actual shark tank and then that's the show look outside of specifically when i'm on the gargle i'm a really pro science person i'm a really pro invention person then i come on this

show and i feel all i hear about is some bloody nerd saying we have found a way to take the small pleasures in life if we take them away and crush them into crude oil we can power a torture device once upon a time like people like jack Nicholson and stuff would say, I'll sleep when I'm dead. It's like a cool thing to say when you're partying. Now it's just a possible reprieve in your workers' contract. Well, Prophetic describes this device as a non-invasive neurostimulation device, which seems a bit rich for something that is literally invading your dreams.

It's such a deeply upsetting idea that I can't, like I cannot see it as anything other than the opening chapter to a new William Gibson book. Alison, are you pro or anti working while you sleep? It is so scary. I think I'm anti it. Like as a comedian, I did think that I could use my dreams for work. As in, like, I would dream...

Once I had this dream about a dog who was a guide dog who then became a CEO of a multinational company. And he got done for, like, a pyramid scheme. And this is... And for some reason, he jumped out a window took an attempt on his life instead of going with the authorities broke all of his legs and ended up in prison and then joined um a white supremacist all of his legs is a sentence that opens other sentences

it's like all of my children all of my legs they're gone but um he like and i wrote that into a stand-up routine right about this about this golden retriever joining you always a golden retriever yeah it's always a golden retriever i was like this is this is a golden retriever and it's going to be called golden deceiver i just that would be amazing that would be yeah no it's a always golden retrievers do financial fraud like if there's any, if you put crimes to different dogs, I know XL bullies at the moment, they've got quite a bad reputation for like GBH and attempted murder. But I feel like golden retrievers, definite financial crimes.

But I wrote this, I woke up from the dream and I was compelled. I drew pictures. I wrote about like I woke up from the dream and I was compelled. I drew pictures. I wrote about like 20 pages about this dog and tried to do it as a stand-up routine. It was one of the worst deaths I've ever had because people weren't willing to. I think people were just confused of why would a golden retriever believe in the supremacy of white people? Like why? You know what I mean? It was just a very, I don't know if the dog really did believe that. why would a golden retriever believe in the supremacy of white people like why you know what i mean it was just a very i don't know if the dog really did believe that golden retriever is yeah the white people of dogs probably probably is the white people can i say this was a major

argument in my household we have a cavoodle and uh my partner who is aboriginal want to put an aboriginal print design jacket on the dog and i said no our dog is white and she said our dog is not white our dog is a dog like it's a cavoodle it's a cavoodle it's why it works in advertising it's a cavoodle which is not strange so anyway suffice to say i tried to work in my dreams. Did not work out for the best at all. I've never thought of a good joke from a dream. I have tried to write down stuff from dreams. But mostly my dreams consist of me losing my teeth, me stepping out my front door and falling off a cliff into some rocks,

or me at my own funeral counting how many people i think would be at my funeral 16 that's that's the most i can dream not bad turnout yeah other than answering the question of whether androids dream of electric spreadsheets uh what do you think this device will offer us james i don't know so i um everyone acts like I'm either lying or dead-eyed when I say this, but I don't dream. I can recall maybe four or five dreams in my whole life. It's just not. And I'm treated like a weird freak, and you're doing it now.

I'm treated like a weird freak for this, as if your vivid delusions about dog crime is fine. Someone not having that well how could you like this is all bizarre to me and someone saying like i'm gonna go to sleep and be put into work in a horrible sci-fi dystopia is kind of what i guess that this all seems like except you were there and you were there and then suddenly it was an opera house and like none of this makes any sense to me this is delusion on a delusion in a technocracy i mean i uh about 40 of my dreams happen in the same extremely extensive dream landscape uh and even if it's not in the same location in the dream landscape i have a map in my head of where you would go to get to the other

part of the dream so are you lucid dreaming? That feels like your dreams are like a mini-series. No, I just have very unimaginative set dressing, I think. It's a low-budget imagination. Wow. And that brings us to our ad section, because you can't be what you can't buy. He was a red-nosed reindeer. She was a groundbreaking, strike-breaking and industry-breaking politician.

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is getting coal for Christmas a good thing or a bad thing? Incredible. I just realised I said summer and Christmas, which in Australia are the same thing, but nowhere else in the world. That's the correct way, it's the correct christmas yeah rudolph's got a red nose because he's boiling hot and this episode of the podcast is brought to you by power do you love to break the law but

hate going to jail for breaking the law try try breaking the law while being powerful. It's likely you'll get a fine. Power, the butter that lubes up the scales of justice. Tis the season. Remember when you're lining up a plate of Christmas treats or serving up your bowl of anti-Christmas battle fuel in the mess tent of the army of the war against Christmas, it is impossible to digest most of this food without at least half a glass of water to wash it down. Half a glass of water. Food lube. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships houses divided corporate rivalry and a performance enhancing broom it was a year i'd like to forget broom gate available now a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com And that brings us to our next top story. Our next top story is chicken sandwich news. And this is the news that an Australian border control has fined a Kiwi grandmother $3,300 for bringing a sandwich through border control.

Alison Spittel, you've smuggled some chicken sandwiches through borders in your time. Can you unpack this story for us? I, well, like, what have I, I'm trying to think of stuff that i've smuggled i've definitely i've smuggled like uh alcohol into festivals by adding another gut uh of like i get the i get the bladder of a this is this is one for you kids get the bladder of a of a of a box of wine and fill it with any alcohol of your choice. Put it at the front of your body and just, yeah, let them try and touch you, man. They can't do anything. Anyway, June Armstrong, 77-year-old Canterbury woman.

She went to Brisbane Airport and she was fined, right, after eating an uneaten chicken sandwich. It's 3,300 quid, which is quite a lot of money money i'm very surprised it was a kiwi woman that did this i as an irish person i watched a lot of border patrol that was shown in ireland uh quite a lot the australian uh tv show border patrol uh basically to teach us lads we we we watched border patrol on bondi beach border patrol was to teach us to not overst We watched Border Patrol and Bondi Beach. Border Patrol was to teach us. To not overstay our visas. Bondi Beach was to teach us.

To put on sun cream. Because we as Irish people. Who go to Australia. We absolutely get destroyed. If you see a pink person. In an Australian documentary. They're Irish. We still haven't learned.

But yeah this woman basically it has to pay uh for for for bringing in a chicken sandwich and she forgot that she had it in her bag she brought it in and uh being charged quite a lot of money i love this um i love this the element of grandmother you know that gets brought into stuff grandmother is always brought up when it's a fine you know or they have to go to prison or um you know the bins haven't come out in time they always bring up the grandmother as if like they shouldn't go to prison or shouldn't get a fine and the pictures that they have are great as well it's of june just uh frustratedly looking at a phone beside her fine it's very uh this reminds me of kind of late 90s kind of um late 90s news news stories where you'd have a

wronged person beside a pothole or beside a bad uh a bad christmas theme park or something like that you know but this is beside a fine you are so right about the grandmother issue because all it tells you is that this old lady you're looking at banged once yes some point in history and then her child banged again you know once a week she might help out you you both us you're both like oh i am so waiting to go in on this i am so nearly but like you both from places that uh you know have strong kind of laws about their biodiversity and stuff yes we do tell us about like why why is it so strong oh well here we go i i just i crack the knuckles let's get into this no sympathy no mercy uh ped get the bleep butter ready she's grandmother

last time we let white meat in uninspected it took over the country so let's look the late great steve owen said quarantine, don't muck with it. And this woman mucked with it. You know who covered this story? The crime reporter. Because this is a criminal matter. The flagrant importation of chickens from a country known to be harbouring flightless birds.

You expect me to have sympathy for the flouting of the biosecurity of this proud nation? We are Australians. We take our chicken sandwiches very, very seriously. We cannot have our prized chicken sandwiches diluted with the piffle brought in from New Zealand. Are there chickens in New Zealand? I don't know.

I don't care to know. If they were, would they be called chokkins? I would quite like to know that, but otherwise I don't really know. I know I'm supposed to be sad because she cried in an airport, but we all cry in Brisbane airport. That's what happens when you realise you're in Brisbane. That's just part of the game.

Sorry, no sympathy. Done. Don't muck with it. And now it's time for your reviews. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. James Colley, what have you brought in for us this week? We've actually been reviewing this together, Alice, week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. James Colley, what have you brought in for us this week? We've actually been reviewing this together,

Alice. I'm reviewing Moving House. Now, I've been going through this for a few weeks now, and everyone always talks about the bad sides of Moving House, the stressful sides, but there are positives. You get to talk to real estate agents all the time which means any other conversation you have that day is a real improvement uh you you completely lose your fear of your house burning down and all your possessions disappearing it actually becomes somewhat of a fantasy uh it's actually a lot better than people think um in fact all in all i give moving house uh oh christ i left my star rating somewhere here. That's in one of the boxes. Forget it, two stars.

Alison, what have you brought in for us this week? So last week I told you I was on House of Games and I wasn't going to review it until the whole thing had come out. So House of Games is a TV program on BBC Two, that's on every day and it's where you do quizzing. I'm a big fan of quizzing i love i love trivia and stuff like that and uh i i entered it it's it's probably the program i want to be on most maybe taskmaster but like that that is up there for me so i was delighted and uh i won i won some prizes i'm going to show you the prizes So this is a dartboard and this is a toolbox.

I won them, but you can win the whole week if you do, if you win three days in a row. And I got pipped to the post at the last day and I got two questions wrong that'll be seared into my brain forever what what are they um so it's a thing called answer smash which is like um the last round of every every day and i've never i've never perfected it you know i do well at the other stuff uh but i've never perfected Answer Smash. So they showed a picture of, they said comedy duos, and they had a picture of French and Saunders.

And the question above it says, which Girls Aloud song came out in blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was, the Girls Aloud song is, I can't speak French. But I said, I don't speak french and saunders and they minus the point it's very harsh and then the next one this is the question and i want to hear your answers to this right uh so it is in shakespeare what do the three witches say before and trouble right and uh and then the picture is a picture of a toilet seat so you have to smash those answers together so hubble bubble toilet trouble is that what what did you say oh my bad i'm about to lose a point i can feel what did you say

hubble bubble toilet trouble i said hubble bubble. I said Hubble bubble as well. I don't know where this is coming to the ether, but it's apparently... Double double toilet trouble, I think. That's disgraceful. Shakespeare's a hack. So Hubble bubble. I said Hubble bubble.

I thought I was right. I was on the cusp of winning. No, I was wrong. I lost the whole thing. Clive Anderson got the trophy. I nearly cried. I had to put my face into my t-shirt and have a word with myself. I made it weird. I know I made it weird in my podcast. I made it weird for everyone else. And I've just, I just ruined a good time by not knowing enough about Shakespeare. And I'm disgusted. Wherever I got Hubble Bubble from, I don't know. This is why before every performance, I walk around backstage going, Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth,

just so I have it in my head. It truly is bad luck. So I'm giving it a four out of five because it was my dream that came true. But a minus in one. Not for losing, but for losing in that way and feeling that strongly about it and letting it be on camera it's not about losing alice it's about it's about losing badly do you know what i mean i love that

that it's not whether you win or lose it's that you tried but in your case it's a negative well it's it's not whether you win or lose but if it's if you lose do you emotionally make other people feel they all looked at me at the side you know i i my whole my back arched in discomfort right i couldn't sit on that i couldn't sit in that chair properly i absolutely made a show of myself but anyway i've got a dartboard and a toolbox out of it but i don't have my pride you got you got so upset you turned into a divorced dad and had to take a dartboard and a toolbox home i'm building my own man cave i'm building them on the bright side allison if uh if the business prophetic has anything to do with it you'll be able to do your dream job seven nights a week now when you sleep.

Yeah, do you know what? I did have a nightmare last week that I was at House Games. I've been told, show off the prizes. Like this start board, I love it, but I live in rented accommodation. I cannot put this up. I'm not going to get rid of my deposit because I tell you now, my aim is not good. That's a great higher stakes version of darts in a house where you want to get the bond back. That's a fantastic one.

Genuinely. Yes. That brings us to our next top story, which is Gen Z germophobes. Apparently a huge proportion of Generation Z wash their hands way more than I would think necessary. 47% of Gen Z people who were studied in this particular study say they wash their hands five to ten times a day. Alison, you're a very clean person person can you unpack this story for us basically these students

are clean they've surveyed them uh 33 percent of them i think wash their bed sheets once a week which is crazy no no that one's fine that's the bit where I was like You change your bedsheets once a week And that's fine, change your bedsheets That's just clean Okay, maybe we differ here How often do you change your bedsheets, my friend? And I'll remind you You are being recorded

Well, I think I think whether you, how often you change your bed sheets depends on how much pajamas you wear that's true if you go to bed in the nude i feel like once a week is the move but if you're you know going to sleep in a full hooded onesie then probably once a month is fine i like i i look i'm very strident about changing the sheets once a week, but I do shit the bed every night, so it kind of evens out. Yeah, I wear a full Grinch suit going to bed, so once a month for me, it's fine.

But it's funny, they survey these students about cleanliness and it actually goes to show that colleges are disgusting. The tables are full of germs. Everything is full of germs. It's a very odd... Also, there is a mention as well of shared bathrooms and bodily fluid. And to me, this is why I wear flip-flops everywhere.

I do not trust. I live with lots of people. I've always lived with lots of people. And you just can't trust bathrooms. I bring my toothbrush with me to my bedroom. I don't keep it in the bathroom. My boyfriend says it's paranoid. But like, I don't know. know i just i love my flatmates but i just i just can't leave my toothbrush in a public place

it feels am i a germaphobe or am i just no that seems entirely reasonable and sane do you know why it's because i have this other podcast where people confess stuff and the amount of arguments that have been solved by someone putting a toothbrush in an orifice, it's just, it scared me. Do you know what I mean? It has scared me. Keep your toothbrushes in your own area. Keep an eye on them. own area keep an eye on them i reckon i think uh like i read this about gen z being germaphobes and i think it's look it's pretty understandable after two world wars and the rising right to be scared of the germans but as a german myself i think that you know we've changed it's not the same i don't think germophobia is the answer but i think my true feelings about this is whenever i read results like this of a survey about gen z i think that what it says about gen z is that more than any generation previous they are entirely comfortable lying to people who take surveys because they understand that the only people who read these surveys are their mum's generation. So all of their answers are like, yeah, we don't drink.

We never have sex anyway. I wash my hands 40 times a week and my room is immaculate. Mum, if you're reading this, mum, those are the results you need to know. And that brings us to our final story of the week. This is the incredibly complicated issue of who gets to decide what uh what flavors of chip go to which country and by chip i mean crisp and by crisp i mean small flat potato thing don't make me do the translation work for you uh james collie you have strong opinions on the flavors of chips can you unpack this story for us i can

to the degree that the first note i had on this is and i'll quote firstly chips they are chips i'm obsessed with this concept this is a really really great long read this is a really good read to have and it's about like how it's partly about like how you create these great dishes it's about how different nations eat chips like when you have them and therefore what kind of palette you need there are some places where it's a before dinner treat there are some where it's a cocktail treat there's america where it's just on the side of sandwiches what is going on there are you six what is that um but i so i've been obsessed with everything about chip marketing so long that, Alice says this, but I work on a show in Australia that is about advertising and marketing.

And we dissect how advertising and marketing works with us. And I was so obsessed with the concept of how do you decide the colors that each flavor gets? I got very obsessed with this to the point that i produced one of the worst stories we've ever done but i would like to derail the whole show to ask allison what color is chicken oh it's kind of like orangey amber to me that's disgusting to me chicken is green what color is salt and vinegar chicken is? Chicken is green. Wait, wait. Salt and vinegar blue. No, it's purple. Disgusting. How very dare you.

No. Blue is plain. Yeah, blue is plain. Wait, you perverts. I don't want to kink shame you of your crisp colour choice, but no, blue is vinegar. Vinegar is like vinegary water. It's blue and zings. No, vinegar is purple, it pops.

It's vinegar. Blue is a calming original. A calming original. Well, what colour is cheese and onion then? Yellow, obviously. No, it's red. Cheese and onion. What?

Red is tomato occasionally when it's being used as a special flavour. Tomato. Yeah, we have meat pie and tomato sauce flavors. We don't want to go into it. We're not super proud of that area of it, but that's the kind of color you're expecting. Oh my God, this is... Isn't it fascinating? And wouldn't you be surprised if this made the 15 worst minutes of television of your career?

Because it is a fascinating topic. You know I'm going to google this straight after straight after maybe because I'm from Ireland originally and this is what I heard anecdotally and now that I read that long read which is an amazing article by the way like one of the best

reads I've had in a while thank you I like to choose at least one story where the co-hosts have to do actual work i know but like uh in ireland uh we we we we thought we think we invented flavored crisps like uh that cheese and onion flavor well we invented that apparently i could be proven wrong and then we have a we have a theme park dedicated to crisps uh it's called tateland can i ask a question about irish chips which is going to come across unbelievably insane if i'm wrong and it's chips but it will come across unbelievably which is that in in northern and in the south there are different chip brands that have the same name and both parties are very passionate that theirs is better

babes i'm so glad you asked because in my presentation i will show you um so there's a there's this there's there is a um there's a theme park dedicated to crisps and potatoes in general. It's called Tato Land. And this is inspired by a person called Mr. Tato. Now, Tato is an all-island brand. As we know, due to colonialism, Ireland has split into two. I won't go too far into that, but I can talk about the critics. That's all right.

Due to colonialism, Australia is one. But Mr. Tate, there's two different types of Mr. Tate. One is the, I'll show you the Republic of Ireland, Mr. Tate. You can tell me what he looks like to your eyes. I think the answer just beforehand is going to be one looks Catholic and the other looks Protestant. Then genuinely. So this is

Republic of Ireland Tate. For the listeners at home, he's wearing striped trousers, a red jacket, a little hat and a facial expression that can only say, I am made out of potato and I'm happy about it. Right. That's him. He's a potato in a jacket.

It's beautiful. Now, the Northern Irish Tato is here. This is him. As we see, there's more of a pronounced jawline. That is a Protestant potato if I've ever seen one. That is a Protestant potato, yes. Yes, it is. There's a more prominent jawline.

The cheeks are rosy. There's a bit more detail. Crow's feet as well indicates age. Now, I may be betraying my country as a person from the Republic of Ireland, but if I had to, if I had to ride either of those potato lads, that's the Republic of Ireland one, and then there's the Northern Ireland one. I'm going to go for the Northern Ireland one every time. Look at that face, right?

He's got a prominent he's got a prominent jaw it just it just it just says to me bad boy you know what i mean yeah but see that's that's exactly what i was gonna say i was gonna say allison spittle you have unwholesome tastes i would say the other the other potato says uh i'm gonna look after you like i'll i may not be the most exciting prospect but you know i'll make sure that dinner's on the table and i know but the other one says to me like you know i'm gonna cover you in crisp dust and just leave you there you know this is the exact argument that ends in a terrible mashing all along the border but uh yeah i um i i do i do i do fancy the northern ir Tate O' Man more.

I'm so glad that you knew about that. Because I really felt like I was going to derail this whole... I didn't know how I was going to crowbar the Mr. Tate O' Man in. But I got it in. Thank you. Thank you so much. But it's weird. In Ireland, we have this thing called buffalo-flavored crisps.

Buffalo-flavored? We. Buffalo-flavored? We have barbecue-flavored. What color is a buffalo crisp? Now, that is a kind of amber, and it has pictures of buffaloes on it. And when I was a kid, I thought it was actual buffaloes being used to make the crisps. But I liked the crisps that much. I was able to get over that. I was able to like get over that there's a complex system of like uh social science and culinary science that goes into where gets what kind of flavor of crisp which is one of the fascinating

things about this article for example you can get lasagna flavored chips in Thailand but not in Italy yeah and they said a Thai flavored so this Thai sweet chili flavor which is a popular flavor in the uk and that was brought in 2002 and that they only brought that in because there were more thai restaurants in the uk at that time like uh they had the flavoring before but at the time there was so little uh thai restaurants in the uk that then the time was right isn't it mad it's not only just countries but it's also like when the timing is right that they they decide what flavors go for which country

enough of this culture's taste buds have come awake that we can introduce them to this new taste we kind of have an infantilized version of this as well because they don't go like most of australian chips don't give you a like you know oh it's it's a lasagna or it's a thai sweet barbecue it's a barbecue this one's light it's a bit tangy we're gonna call it light and tangy we don't really go into like ah the flavors of thailand oh i remember once walkers did like a flavor competition and they were representing different countries or it's like best of British. It was Best of British, but they had a full English breakfast flavor. And I ate it. It tasted like egg.

That was the predominant flavoring in it. It was perverted. It was wrong. It was definitely the most disgusting thing I've ever had in my life. But it is amazing how different countries have different types of crisps. France only have plain flavored crisps different types of crisps France only have

plain flavoured crisps because they see crisps as like I know the French they're so like sophisticated

even when it comes to crisps because they're like they only want light flavours because they would have it as an aperitif before a meal

not like me which is that crisps are stand-up comedian fuel because you end up at a petrol station at half 11 at night you haven't eaten dinner so you think oh i'll have a packet of monster munch and quavers get all of the different proteins in me off these crisps you know where the french just have two and then they enjoy the new polanski movie yes they're so they can separate the art

from the artist and the flavor from the crisp you know and that brings us to the end of today's uh magazine i'm flipping through the ad section at the back allison have you got anything to plug i got a play on called glacier it's on until the 23rd of December in the old firehouse in Oxford. I got a tour coming out called Soup in the new year. And I'm doing a run of Soup in Soho Theatre. Come along to that. Yeah, it's going to be great crack. I'm so jealous.

If I were anywhere near the UK, I'd be coming to both of those things. So go on my behalf. James, Collie, what have you got to plug uh I have a book coming out in a couple months it is called the next big thing it is about big things and includes a reference to the Robertson big potato which you could make into a series of crisps not to be confused with the big spud in Hobart we don't talk about that that's a lesser big potato that's trying to usurp the Robertson big potato that is also colloquially known as the big turd sometimes because it really does look like a big turd. Anyway, it's a rom-com. It comes out very soon in all good bookstores, provided you're in Australia. I'm sure there are good bookstores elsewhere in the world. Hopefully

it will come out there soon. I would say go in and hassle the minimum wage staff worker until they get it in. And other than that, if you are also in Australia, everything I do is geo-blocked. So this is why all of my material is fine to just slag off any other nation because nothing I make goes outside of this island. Question Everything is on ABC TV, 8.30 Wednesdays. Our final episode is coming up. It's been a really good season, so go back and watch it.

And you can find me online at patreon.com slash alicefraser, where I run now twice weekly a writers' meeting. If you're writing something, if you're working on something, join us. It's a blast twice a week. I also do salons. I've also got various comedy specials coming out

there in the next couple of months. I also have a book. Go to unbound.com and type in my name, Alice Fraser, and you will find The Dancy Lagarde Reader, which will become available at some point. I've done my writing bit. It's in their hands now. This is a Bugle podcast, an Alice Fraser production.

Your editor is Ped Hunter. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programmes from The Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories,

and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.