The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 48 – All Hail the Water Rat!

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

With Atticus and Ser Joolee perishing in the Dreamlands' underworld necropolis, what would life look like for the heroes upon awakening?! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa and Sydney Amanuel as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/cx0xsxezTNM For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, hi, the world. It's your old friend Troy and his good time pals. We're coming to you live. This is actually live right now. It's 8.05 p.m. Eastern. We're all sitting in our respective homes. And we're coming to you live to play some strange aeons. We call it Glass Cannon Live when we're on the road,

but when we're here sitting in the comfort of our homes, missing what I can only assume will be an incredible football game. Incredible. We call it. Incredible. We call it. We call it Strange Aeons in Pathfinder 2E, episode 48. That'll bring the new people to watch.

That'll bring all the new folks to the yard. No, thank you for joining us tonight. This is very exciting. Obviously, this is the second time we've gone live with this on Twitch since we started the new normal for us to go live on Twitch in between tour dates. normal for us to go live on Twitch in between tour dates. Speaking of which, a week from Sunday, we'll be back on the road in Boston at what has really become our home club, the Paradise in Boston. It is with, I think it's the club we've probably performed at most.

And we always, they always put on a, they always show us a good time there and we love that crowd, obviously. And so there are tickets still available. If you want to come out, just go to Glass Cannon Network dot com backslash live hyphen tour and buy tickets to the show. There's even a couple of VIPs left. We're going to have a good time. And even Cindy Emanuel is going to be there. Cindy, how the hell are you?

Cindy, me. Hi. Have you ever been to Boston? Troy, we've talked about this. I lived in Salem, Massachusetts for two years. That's not Boston. Anyone can go to Massachusetts. Oh, very good, Sydney.

So have you ever been to Boston? Sorry. Let me think. Interesting. I was once in Phoenix, Arizona. Didn't you go to high school in Danvers? I did. Yeah, Troy.

And I grew up in Haverhill, but I went to college in Boston. And I made my bones on the streets of Newbury. You went to college in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts. Which is a suburb of Boston. It's not a suburb of Boston. Thank you, Salem. I do love Boston. It's not a suburb of Boston. It's Salem. I do love Boston.

I can't wait. I saw somebody said they're going with their wife to the Boston show. I can't wait. I'm excited. And I love Paradise Rock Club. It's a great venue. I've seen so many shows there, and I can't wait to play there. You've been to the Paradise? It's so fucking cool.

What? So you've been there a bunch, and now you're going to play it? It's going to be wild, because it's a big it? It's going to be wild because it's a big venue. It's going to be super, super cool. Well, I'm excited to show you our backstage. We do different traditions in Boston that usually involve Randy if he's in town. Yes, true. Randy.

Wait, Sydney, have you met Randy? Have you ever met the Randy? Oh, the nation. Randy. Wait, Sidney, have you met Randy? Have you ever met the Randy? Oh, the nation knows Randy. Oh. No, you never met him for Androids and Aliens when he would produce? That might have been before. I don't think he ever produced Androids. No, he did.

Who's Randy? Who the hell is Randy? You're going to have to just wait and find out. Randy is a stand-by. to just wait and find out. Randy is a standpoint. Randy is a standpoint. Randy is a whole. He's his own deal. He's a whole deal.

Oh, boy. We are just to lift the curtain a little bit here. We're using new technology tonight while we go live. And so far, I don't like it because Sydney is an hour and a half behind everything I say. And whenever you guys laugh at me, it comes just a little too late. So I know there's a delay. But hopefully you, the audience, won't notice this shoddy technology. This is good.

We have to try new things. You're synced. You're fine. This is good, though. We have to try new things. You're synced. You're fine. Oh, I can tell. It's just there's a delay. Maybe you're just not that funny. You sound pretty good to me. Like polite laughing after a second.

Yeah, so bear with us as we stumble through for the next 90 minutes. No, this will be fine. This is we have to try new things. And this is a Joe. Talk to me. What is this nonsense we're doing here? We're doing interested in it. Would they be interested?

Maybe. We're I'll tell you what. We're not doing Skype. That's that's the big thing. Skype is a pain in our... Beep! And so it is time to try other things. He had to just take it to Wieners. So we're trying new stuff.

So please, by all means. And by the way, this isn't going to affect the podcast. You know what I mean? Well, knock on wood, this isn't going to affect the podcast. know what i mean uh well i don't knock on wood this is going to affect the podcast but those of you watching i can't hear the let us know i can no longer hear the laughter but i i saw somebody uh i i saw somebody say that troy was a little quiet so we we work on that so please let us know if uh if there's anything wrong on the levels because we're live we need you guys please let us know if there's anything wrong on the levels, because we're live.

We need you guys to let us know. Thank you. Yeah. No, the thing that makes it so that we'll never use this again is that there is a definite delay, and it sucks. But that's okay, because we're still going to have fun. I'm just not going to listen to you guys. I'm just going to watch your mouths move instead. Matthew, how are you?

I haven't seen you since Atlanta. Wait, were you there? I have no idea what you're talking about. I'll just wait. Yeah, there's no clue what you're talking about. Put your image, because you have your own image, put your image for your private viewing over your face in the broadcast.

Did you not do that? I'm doing that. Maybe that will help. I'm doing that, yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, I just want to say this,

I, this sounds like a Troy internet problem is everybody looks good to me and, and they all sound. And it's plugged directly in. Okay. I'm good. You did see me in Atlanta. We had,

we, and you saw me in Nashville. Uh, we were there together. We got pedicures together even. Um, Oh, you had me in Nashville. We were there together. We got pedicures together even. Oh, right. Was that? Oh, God.

Go on. So that was just a couple weeks ago. You know, as you get older, time moves faster. But then things that happened recently also seem like they happened a long time ago. Because Atlanta and Nashville feel like forever ago. Yeah. Joe, are your toes still shiny from your pedicure? They actually are.

I'm starting to worry about if they're ever going to not be shiny again, but it's probably a good thing that they're super, super shiny. I was like, this is really fun. And then I was wearing flip-flops at a gathering of men eating meat and uh i felt pretty awkward it's like i hope nobody looks at my toes these new friends in the neighborhood that sentence i was wearing flip-flops at a gathering of men eating meat feels like it's gonna be the title of your autobiography. Oh, man.

But I loved the pedicure. I got to say, holy smokes. Is that a good time? That was doing it in Boston. Troy. No, no, no. That's not going to happen. Only because Joe and I are flying in from Vegas on Saturday after two and a half days in Vegas.

So I imagine our dogs are going to be a little tired, too tired to be rubbed by a stranger. That's exactly what it's for. What are you talking about? My shoulders will be way too tired to get a shoulder massage. I want to wake up on Sunday and watch. straight up until we have to go on stage. Yeah, exactly. 7.30 and just walk on stage.

We should call them and ask them if we can do soundcheck at 10 a.m. Just so that we can do soundcheck and then just watch football until the moment the show starts. That is a fantastic idea. I'm going to have the 8 o'clock game on my laptop. Yeah. I'm going to have the 8 o'clock game on my laptop. Skid, how are you feeling?

You've been sick for 100 days. Are you feeling better? Yeah, I am feeling better. this is uh almost almost no fever today so so that's amazing yeah this is yeah i'm so uh tired and stuff but uh but yeah i feel a lot better today than i even did yesterday so yes good i mean to have a fever every single day and then suddenly not have a fever, you must feel like you could fly. Yeah. It's the thing. It would come

and go. It would usually come around at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I'd wake up in the morning and be like, maybe I'm better today. Then I'd be like, nope. But so far today, I'm still fine. I feel pretty good. That's good.

It is. It's soid. Oh, Skid. It is. It's so sad. It's so sad. It's the worst. It's the worst. And for the record, Skid has been recording, GMing, recording, playing basically every day this week, right? So you've been a real trooper.

It's been a busy old week at the actual Play Factory. No rest for the weary there. I want to get into something here because we had a discussion as we were warming up for this about the pronunciation of a certain Japanese confection. How would you say it? How would you guys say it's good how would you say it how would

you guys say it this is it this is what it is okay pocky pocky that's that's a reasonable thing to assume it's a native english speaker reading it you'd say that sure matthew i also would say pocky i once said okay pokey but i was corrected and i felt right embarrassed about it all right let's get into this all right so if you look so you said that you heard on the website you look at the website it's a it's a you say it says to say uh paki but if you look at the katakana this here the the first character there that is the uh ho that is that is a character for ho h o and with a little like a circle over there that that transforms it from an h to a p sound so that's a po so po then you've got the tsu here, which means a double, like

the consonant or whatever the next character is. So poki, poki. So perhaps, in English, it is meant to be paki, but when Japanese readers see it in Katakana, they would say poki.

Hopefully that clears everything up on now this is the american the american website but it is paki.com i said paki because the first frequently asked question perhaps the most frequently asked question is how do i pronounce this and where did the name originate and the answer they provided is simple it It's like Rocky, except with a P. The name Pocky or Pokey was inspired by the Japanese onomatopoeia for the snapping sound made while eating hockey or pokey sticks. Pocky. That's a fun story. But if you look here at the Katakana once again, if this story was correct. once again if this story was correct that i'm really glad that you guys are all so headstrong that you brought this up on air to argue with each other about because matthew told skid he was wrong

and skid you skid you were just getting back at matthew and in front of an audience so you just don't want anyone spreading any misinformation because if i hadn't corrected this I could have forgotten and if I had let that go he could be off telling his students the man's a teacher for God's sake he could be telling people misinformation for years to come a teacher

so I felt it was my civic duty to do this now in this forum you're a good man, Skid. You're a good man. For the record, I also was corrected by Skid off air. It was a double correct. It did go both ways.

I feel that public shaming will often make a lesson stick in ways that a private shaming will not. That's the lesson I'm going to impart to my students next week. A man is a teacher for God's sake. I don't know what the hell's going on. But Joe, you're good.

Good, we'll move on. Eight seconds later, you laugh. I'm going to kill myself. This is so unusable. All right. Let's do a quick 45 minutes here. What happened in Atlanta? Skid, we missed you.

That's the first thing that happened, but I liked that you were available via text. That was fun. That was awesome. That was awesome. Those texts, the response was immediate, unlike you guys' response to me now. But in Atlanta, you guys, a couple of you died in the Dreamlands

because you were searching for your third out of seven Dreamland gifts to hopefully present to the Mad Poet. Once you get them all, you're going to do the Dreamland ritual and go back to the Forsaken Caravanserai and meet with the Yellow King who will lead you to the Mad Poet. You have three of those things now. The third one you obtained in Atlanta, you have three of those things now the third one you obtained in atlanta the skull of ghoul royalty i just i love the idea that we obtained it in atlanta that's where the the heroes delved into the depths of atlanta georgia outside the georgia dome was a skull of ghoul royalty um that also would mean we got the part the parg's tales in indianapolis right this is very very funny to me

selling the mad gen con on the exhibition floor uh you you found yourselves uh during this dreamland excursion ritual in a necropolis somewhere an underground necropolis with a bunch of ghouls, particularly Lang ghouls, which are a more intense kind of, they almost look more canine in appearance type ghoul. But the ghouls of the dreamlands in general, Lang ghoul or regular ghoul are more, for lack of a better word,

civilized. They're still grotesque and horrible and vicious, but they're more civilized and can converse with you differently than the ghouls that you ran into, for example, in Briarstone Asylum. So they think that you're there because some of the lesser ghouls have been praying to Nyarlathotep to bring them aid in this battle that they have ahead, because they used to

live in this necropolis, they abandoned it as their civilization grew, but they heard a group of Gugs moved in, and that is an affront to everything they believe in, so they wanted to go get these Gugs out of there, but they needed help with this one little area. You four arrive, well,

not Aldo, but Xantar, along with Ave Maria, Sir Julie Andrew arrive, well, not Aldo, but Xantar, along with Ave Maria, Sir Julie Andrews, and Atticus Grimm arrived, decided to be the strike force team, fought a bone golem and some other, I think they were called necrophiliases, and then you walked in and you saw the mausoleum that held this ghoul prince, and you thought, there's going to be the ghoul skull we need,

but you saw a little movement behind the mausoleum, and it was a fucking Gug. Now, you've fought Gugs before, but you haven't fought 2E Gugs, and you haven't fought 2E Gugs while you were 7th level, and so this Gug gave you a button for your money. What were we when we fought the Gugs before? Like 14th level?

16th, maybe? Like, Endgame. I mean, we pretty much mopped them up. And so going into this, I was like, oh, we got this. It's just a Gug. But then you realize that they are creatures

truly out of your worst nightmare. And they are, dare I say, unbeatable. Unbeatable! Perhaps I'm just going with my own personal opinion. It was pretty nasty. It got out of hand fast. And you quickly realize,

we just need to get in there, get that skull, do the will save to try and wake up and get out of here, try and get out of here alive. Problem is, the minute you opened the mausoleum, you unleashed a curse where these, like, cold, dead tendril hands came out and reached into your souls. And some of you

got cursed. Who is cursed among you? Ave got cursed. Ave got cursed. Sir Julie got cursed. I think Xantar and Atticus came out okay. Honestly, though, Xantar might be cursed as well. But pretty nasty curse. I have no memory of that.

Is that part of the curse? You might be cursed. That sounds like somebody was cursed to me. If you've got no memory of the tomb, you might be cursed. You might be cursed. You might be cursed you might be cursed you might be cursed well the good news is that was uh foxworthy oh look at him look at him go it's thursday night live on the glass

cannon network the uh the curse only is active when you're in the dreamlands so the next time you perform that dreamland excursion ritual, you're going to come there and be cursed. But in the material plane, that curse doesn't follow with you. Why do I know that? Because I emailed Ron Lundeen to make sure. And I thanked him for that response 13 days later this morning while I was doing my prep.

13 days later this morning while I was doing my prep. However, something that will carry into the Imperial plane is an effect to those of you who died to the Gug. This is why I strongly considered not playing tonight. I was like, I'm just going to sit this one out. Let me know what happens. Because you told us many times in many green rooms, don't die

in the dreamland. It's like, it is not. It's bad. It's bad. It's how you would keep saying it over and over again. And so we were trying not to, and I've been dreading this session. Because I don't want to find out what happens. We're, we all trying not to, and I've been dreading this session because I don't want to find out what happens. Were we all trying not to?

Don't even start. Don't even start. Some choices were made. Yes, choices which would have seemed brilliant should a die roll go your way. But sometimes it doesn't, Matthew. That's the game we play. Matthew, you want to play back for me the end of the episode?

In your own words, what occurred? You know what? Sure. So Jared, as Xantar, King of the Zoos, quickly realized what we needed to do was retrieve the idol and wake up, as you said. Xantar ran in, grabbed the idol, woke himself up. Ave Maria keyed into the strategy,

tried to buy a little time, but then woke up as well. Sir Julie volunteered to sacrifice herself to let everyone else get away and hold off the, hold off the Gug. And then for some reason, Atticus decided to stick around and then stick around some more and then

on a turn where he could have just woken up he decided to cast fly on himself and fly away whereupon he was hit with an attack of opportunity from the Gug and died now that's how I remember it

let me explain the actual course of events everyone tried to wake up as did atticus and failed the role so now he's stuck there the creature is wailing on him it is going to kill him if he fails this next wake-up role but on the off chance the creature doesn't have an attack of opportunity it might not if he casts fly which is not a die roll he has no chance of failing because he can just fly until he wakes up and this creature's not going to get him so he tried to wake up failed the roll and then that damn attack of opportunity i didn't know he had it i would have known i wouldn't have done it but here we are i was setting up a future future where I could fail more. That's all. That's all.

Oh, and then Matthew goes, alright, well, roll the die and see if you would have woken up. And it was like Natty 17. Like, of course it was, Matthew! When it doesn't matter. When it doesn't fucking count. That's when I rolled Natty 17. It was only the most funny, it was the

funniest choice you could have made because Matthew in character literally said, fly, you fool. And then you did it. That's why I did it. I thought it was a fun story moment. I was like, man, you want to realize how cool I am? And then it backfired. As so many things do for me in Pathfinder. It is a tale of constant backfiring.

Now, I've forgotten, but what was the DC to wake up? It wasn't particularly high. You just rolled exceedingly poorly. I want to say 25, but I have to look it up. No, it's 25. I mean, it's like a 12 or higher on the die. Like, it's no joke. 12 or higher on the die.

Okay. Yes, 11 or higher on the die for me. So it's a coin flip. So 50-50 chance. Correct. It's a coin flip. Well, it was hilarious. I think the funniest part about it is we've talked now several times backstage during shows that

you have to think of this game differently and that so few creatures and heroes have attacks of opportunity. And I think this was the first one that had one. So otherwise, you fly away and you're a genius. But instead, it's just... In every iteration of this, I'm a genius except this die roll.

Except the reality. Except the one that occurs in reality. Right, right. Except the one that occurs in hindsight right except the one that occurs in hindsight when you know everything well here's what happens you

all well I shouldn't say all Zantar and Ave use the ability to awaken the awaken action you woke up on the boat. Xantar, Ave, you look at each other, and you see Aldo sitting in the corner.

If you remember, Aldo was experiencing some stomach issues that then turned into scurvy. But he's sitting in the corner, sort of half asleep, we'll say. Just trying to get some rest, because it's been a long day of gross things happening to his body. And then Sir Julie and Atticus begin to come to. And what happens when you die in the dreamlands, you don't actually die, but a piece of you is almost ripped out and left there. And so when you return to the material plane, your mind is just not right.

And should you die again, things get even worse. However, in the meantime, let's start with Sir Julie. Sir Julie, you are going to be given a lesser madness of melancholia. Oh, no. Oh no.

Oh, whoa. You will take a, uh, a minus two penalty on initiative checks and all your morale bonuses are halved. I don't know. Are morale bonuses still a thing in Chewy?

Cause I'm translating this from, clearly they are. Oh, Oh, Oh, I see what you're saying. These haven't been, uh, converted over, so I can't remember. I have no idea.

But I'll look at my... Minus two to initiative. And all morale bonuses are halved. Yes, but we'll look into that. If there are morale bonuses, we'll have to find something equivalent. A character, more importantly, is how you're going to play this. A character suffering from melancholia struggles with severe pessimism and can often be slow to respond to threats and events going on around her.

Thus, minus two to initiative. She can seem quiet and withdrawn, and her sense of enthusiasm is dulled. In extreme cases, a character suffering from melancholia becomes entirely introverted What a terrible... Seems like it should be more than a minus two if it's Catatonia. No, no. Not that I'm advocating for. It can approach that. Yes. In some extreme cases.

It's not every case. And this is how it would approach that, Matthew. These madnesses, at least in the first edition, it took a long time. Every week you roll a check to see if you slowly get better. But if it starts to take too long, you could enter a full catatonic state. And should you die again in the dreamlands,

who knows what's going to happen. You do. You know, and you're not telling me. I do. You know. And I'm not going to tell you. According to DragonriderJ, morale bonuses are not a thing in 2E.

So I meant to look that up today, but then I got busy. Playing NBA 2K23. but that's not important i um that was good how was that how was that game you know the last time i played nba uh any of the 2k games was at our first packs east when the the famous story when you created all of these teams. Yeah, I haven't played. And then before that, I think it was Double Dribble was the last time I played a basketball game. But I had a wild hair and I was like, yeah.

Anyways, I'll find an equivalent. Minus Two to Initiative is pretty brutal in second edition. But let's talk about Atticus. Think about it. You get into character here. How does that melancholia land? Don't be silly. Really let it land. Now, Joe.

Joe, you're going to have something quite different. Your lesser madness is going to be a delusion. And what that delusion is, I just emailed to you so that it is secret between you and I. No. Spoiler alert. Things are going to make Matthew angry. Spoiler alert. I love this.

You're going to hate it. So wait, you hand pick these. So like you picked the one that I would hate the most. There's a table. There's a table. And you rolled these. So you picked the one that I would hate the most. There's a table. There's a table. And you rolled on it, or you picked the worst. It's possible that I did, yes. Is that your reaction to reading the email,

or your reaction to just knowing there is an email that you have to read? Because I sometimes have that reaction when I see that an email from Troy comes in that's that is the reaction to just seeing Troy LaVallee in my inbox like just seeing the name I get that a lot I get that a lot oh no uh no I read the email

uh I hate it I hate it yeah it's bad I had to make it bad. Yeah. But hey, it's up to you how you play it. Or don't play it. It's up to me how I play it.

Okay. All right. Great. Great. So this is what he does. It's like, this is what he does. He made this up. He made this up.

And so what he did was he found a way to make something up that's going to make the entire viewership and listenership of our show hate me as a person. That's going to be the result of this. So just wait. And he's going to revel in it. He's going to revel in it. I'm getting excited just as you're reacting now. Exactly. Now, here's a little caveat.

is your reactive now exactly um now here's a little caveat this madness does not occur when you go back to the dreamlands so whereas your curses stay active in the dreamlands uh unless you cast remove curse in the dreamlands uh or any items you find only exist in the dreamlands uh your madness goes away because it's almost like that piece of you that has been torn out returns while you're in the dreamlands but then goes away again when you return to the waking world um that's really but every week you will roll to see if you get a little better okay all right meantime okay let's go to the boat real quick because I had some fun this morning and I said I need to put everybody

on the boat who is on the boat Everybody get on the boat So let's see if Wait, you mean everybody is pancake there and wet knees and... When I say everybody I mean everybody Please direct your attention to roll 20

and you will see everybody. Oh, cool new boat map. Yep. Our good buddy, if you missed the Nassville show. Yeah, this is a new map of the Selen Starling from our good buddy Dave M. Who has been upgrading our maps. But there's everybody. There's Skywin,

Pedro Alicabam, Fingers O'Toole, Fanny Kreminger, Dinky Fustumble, Porkchop McIntyre, Spinny Pow, and then all, and of course, Rebid and Gossa, the two older people who I just decided not to be interested in.

And then I made a list. I didn't realize it. Matthew, come on. decided not to be interested in. And then I made a list. Matthew, come on. I was just going to point out you missed one. Who did I miss? Tiny Murder Clown is nowhere to be seen. Tiny Murder Clown

jumped off the boat and went into Razmir. Were you not at that show? Yeah, we did. Do you not remember my entrance into the game? Me and he's going to Razmir. Yeah, we... I'm sorry, Matthew. Do you not remember my entrance into the game? Me and Tiny Murder Clown

high-fived as we switched places. You don't remember this? Yeah, it was a whole thing. I didn't... I forgot the high-five as well. I went and watched the Nashville show today just to get these names.

The other people who are now aboard your boat are the Edgelord, who is a captain of the ship called Party Time. And then there's Finger Lakes, Mrs. Fantastic, Basement Betty, Pancake, Chocolate Chip, Wedgie One and Wedgie Two,

The Truth, Simple Syrup, Dimples, Dead Tooth, Wet Knees, Scallywag, and O.J. Simpson. And if you look closely, you'll see O.J. Simpson is spelled S-Y-M-P-S-O-N. He's standing next to Sky that's good legally distinct

legally distinct character oh this is this is so dumb but here's the thing you have to imagine that on top of your fatigue and your unsteady mental state, I'm talking specifically to Sir Julie and Atticus, the fact that there are now 15 more people crowding this very small ship could raise tensions a bit. So keep that in mind. It's very uncomfortable.

It stinks. It's like people are shitting off the side of the boat. I mean, it's bad. And also food stores are running low as well. What's everybody doing? Let's catch up with you guys a little bit. Aldo, we haven't seen you. How are you feeling?

Aldo's feeling much better. He gives a big smile, like blood pouring down from his gums. I'm feeling great! I was in bad shape, but now I'm feeling much better. Classic scurvy. Atticus comes up to him. He's looking around. And he seems out of sorts.

He's under some sort of delusion about the reality of this world that he's in now. He comes up to Aldo. He just says, Aldo, we needed you in there. We needed you. It was not enough. Oh, no, you went without me Oh no I saw out of it, I didn't even know if you were going to go I don't know, what was it?

I know I won't do the ritual again I won't do it again without you When I tried to run it myself the way you had done It didn't work out so well For days you experienced non-stop diarrhea while I was unable to

it was no picnic on this side of the dreamlands either I'll let you know that but I am sorry that I wasn't there to help you but I'm glad you're feeling well I'm feeling much better so I'll be there next time.

He puts a hand on his little rat shoulder. Fit as a fiddle. Atticus looks at him kind of suspiciously. And is thinking, what? How could someone be sick for that long? How could they... How could they claim to be that sick for that long? How could they... How could they claim to be that sick for that long? Was it too specific to be involved in the ritual?

Well, if you look at him, he's clearly not feeling well. No, he's really... Oh, I see. But if you do look at him, he does have blood. His mouth is full of blood. Bleeding gum. He's got little bits of blood being spit onto mouth is full of blood and bleeding gum. He's spent like little, yeah.

Little bits of blood or like being spit onto your face as he's talking to you. So, yeah. Uh, but then I think Atticus, I think Atticus is going to descend below and is going to pour back into the books.

Uh, and he's looking for something. He's looking for an explanation for something that he didn't see before this last dream. And you see that the next item on your list is a green stone idol of a water lizard. And then after that, only three more items. You're kind of at that midway point so far.

So good? What about Ave Maria? Ave, you and Xantar woke up first, and there was this delay. And you probably don't know what happened. You just saw the god mauling. But then your friends wake up. You're new even to this dreamland excursion ritual, so I don't know how much they've even shared to you about how this all works.

And they're still discovering it as well. Yeah, I think Ave wakes up very panicked. I mean, she didn't want to leave Sir Julie. She didn't understand what was going to happen, and they explained some of it, but not all of it. And she didn't know, you know, if you die, what happens and if you're cursed, like all these things that we're discovering also as players. But, um, and I think as soon as they wake back up, she runs to Sir Julie and to Atticus, uh, and starts praying over them,

uh, and calling on Sarenrae to help them, even though presumably they wake up with no injuries, right? Yeah. I mean, physical. Right. And I think now she's calmed down a bit and she understands more of what's going on with the Dreamlands, but she is very concerned with everybody on this boat.

And presently, if you look around, Ave is going up to Wedgie 1, Wedgie 2, Dinky, the Edgelord, Spinny. And she is saying prayers for all of them. And if you listened, she's just saying, I shared with you the radiance of the everlight, the compassion of the dawn flower. And she kind of like presses their forehead as if she's like giving communion or something. She goes on to the next person.

I shared with you the radiance of the everlight and the compassion of the dawnflower. She presses them on the head. And she's trying to keep morale high on the boat because she's very nervous. She has no fucking idea what she got herself into. But she's keeping her faith.

Looking at Skywind every so often like is this how it normally is? Is this how these guys normally are? And she's trusting in Skywynn, because Skywynn's a halfling. So she's like, you drinking? They drink a lot. That's what she says to you.

All right. Yeah, Skywynn, this is not a good position for her to be in either, but, you know, it just shows you the sort of the strength of her character here that she would even take on all these people from the Tribute Taker. A lesser person would have just sunk them with the boat. But it's made things really uncomfortable. What about Sir Julie? Sir Julie, you wake up a little sad.

Julie hasn't felt this way quite some time. She's going to kind of wander around. I would say wander around the boat, but really that's going to be squeezing through what tight space she can find on the deck. Can I check in with Revan and Gassa? I think she really wants to try to engage them in an orgy, but that was about the end of that.

Oh, hello there, young lady. We've barely spoken these last 42 days on the boat. You look rather melancholy. Says Revan. What is the point of speaking when the entire world as you know it is collapsing in on you? Have you ever felt that way? The most peculiar feeling.

Every morning I wake up, I assume it will be my last. But we must continue to speak, for in speaking, others around us will learn. What have you learned recently, scholar? Well, I've learned that if you have 28 people shitting over the side of a boat, it's very hard to fish. Most wise pronouncement. Yes. Tell me.

I've never been a seaman. I'm more of a scholar. Didn't know that. Thought it might act as some sort of chum. In fact, it has the opposite effect yes tell me seaman

would you like to feel something my lady I don't know where you're going with this but I'm still in. I'm still in. I just cannot shake the sensation that if I don't try my absolute hardest, I will be overtaken by these feelings of potentious doom. So perhaps we could get it on. absolute hardest. I will be overtaken by these feelings of contentious

doom. So perhaps we could get it on, and then maybe that would sate us for a little while. Not to make my intentions too plain. Milady, let me get this straight.

You're feeling sad. Yes. And you think that, um, having carnal relations with me, a stranger, would cheer you up. Yes. Well, so night. But it can't just be you your associate of course sirs will yes of course

do you think I would submit myself hold on just one moment sir knight let me hold on and then he comes back. She's in. Wow. All right, Matthew, you kind of painted us into a corner here.

All right, also, Matthew, you're on a boat full of people. There's so many people on this boat and nowhere to go. Is this what you're doing? We paid for a cabin! The point, Abe, is to experience something I have... This is below decks. This is the show below decks. It's exactly what happens on every season of that show. Yes. The point is to

experiencing something I would otherwise not experience in hopes that I might reach a bit of feeling that I find I do not have. May Sarah Ray's light guide you. I shall say my normal prayers before we begin. Do as you must.

Alright, whatever. He's already naked. And then we can cut away and we'll come back later. Alright. But let's play it all out. You were nervous there. Yeah, you don't want to do like a Game of Thrones style. Extended. I'm trying to picture where everything's going and how.

You guys have fun within your imaginations. Sir Julie then has sex with both Revan and Gossa in their private chamber that they paid for. And let it be known, let it be known that Sir Julie, even under the conditions of melancholia, is still an excellent lover. Very attentive. The power of ceremony flows through her.

Yes, as does the power of Revan's thrusts now so a couple days pass and there's a lot of talk on the ship as to what went on in that there's a little pokey pokey went on it was a little pocky

a little pocky in the cabin um and uh you hear the in the cabin. And you hear the lookout. I think it's Dinky Fustumble. It's like, boat! Boat ahead! Boat! And, you know,

maybe some of you come on deck. The rest of the people are downstairs, so I imagine you're probably spending most of your time above deck because the edgelord and all his friends are mostly downstairs, and the crew are busy working the boat. So if you want any fresh air, you've got to come up there. And you come up, and you see them kind of scurrying about,

and Skywin is just standing at the head of the boat, just looking out there. One of you walk up to her. Who wants to walk up to her? Yeah, sure. Sir Julie will emerge from heaven and gases. We charge her. All four of us charge.

We knock her All four of us charge We knock her over The video delay was perfect timing for all of you to not want to do it and then all agree to do it at the same time and it just overlaps Alright, so you come up to her and she says Dinky saw a boat up ahead

It's a small boat Looks like there's four people on there, two men and two women. They're waving for help. And you look out there and you see, and it's a tiny little boat compared to the Silent Starling, which isn't a very large keelboat. This is like slightly bigger than a dinghy.

And it has, it looks like, two men and two women, fishermen, dressed like fishermen, with poles in the water. And they're just like, Help! Help! Yes, yes. He's like, cry for help. Cry against the mighty weight

of the burdens the world has placed upon you. Sir Julia, you... Atticus slowly turns to Sir Julia. It's not like her. Very strange. These people are flailing about in the water, drowning?

No, they're standing on their boat, like, waving for help. What is the situation? No, they're standing on their boat, like, waving for help. Oh. What is the situation? What? We've got a hole in our boat! It's small, but we're not going to be able to make it back to shore! Can you help us?

How many of you are there? There's just four! Just the four of us. And we can see off. I don't know, mate. It's sort of arse elbows on this side. Aldo, we have to help them. What are you talking about?

There's literally no room on the deck. There's not a free file. We could help them patch their boat. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? I just don't want any more people on this deck. Captain, saddle up next to them. I'm sure we could help them patch their boat.

Hold on just a moment. Relay that order, Captain. Ave Maria. You are new on this ship, and you will know your place. We could be walking right into a trap. I cannot have you setting up all of these innocent people for death because you do not have the mind to think about what happens in these waters off the coast of Lesmira. Excuse me.

Death will come for us all. The only reason that these people are on this boat is because I helped you. I paid my dues just like you to travel on this ship for Captain Skywind. Oh, did you? So if anyone has anything to say, then she will make the decisions. And where did you get that money? Pardon me? That's what I thought.

I'm a cleric of Sarenrae, and I made my money by preaching. People pay just to hear you talk. Faithful people. People with a will to live and a want to live. Yes. And she looks at Sir Julie. Faithful. Faithful people whose money you're happy taking away from them.

Interesting. Atticus, allow her to prove it. Ave. I would very much be in need of a bit of the goddess's light. Would you mind preaching for us for a moment? I think it would do us as well as the people who are drowning

some good. Atticus is looking at these people. What does he exactly see? Are they humans? Filling up! Looks like maybe two elves and two humans. One elf, woman and man. One elf, excuse me, one human, woman and man.

And they're just waving. They have these long poles in. But you do see there is some water in the boat. And they're like, please, we can't swim! And Skywin says, listen, all three of you, just stop with the bickering. I understand it's cramped quarters here, but I can't

just let these people drown. We're just, there's a town coming up, Riverton. I meant to stop there anyway. It's not my favorite place, but we can just, we can bring them to shore and leave them there and

you know, that should be fine, I can't leave the rest of these people there, but they're most likely from Riverton does anyone have any objections? Captain, I believe we may be... Upon him or her with eyes of mercy, O Everlight, may you rest your healing hand upon them. Yes, Captain, I'm in agreement.

Yes, I think I heard some of that. All right, then. We'll move closely, and we'll let And we'll We'll let them Abort, we'll question them first Obviously So you sail in close to the boat And he's questioning them As we're sailing in

Atticus is questioning them How did the damage Come about your boat? We don't know We must have hit a rock or something, a big stiff rock, or there could have been a creature. I don't know. Like I said, it's not a huge hole, but we're not going to be able to get to shore.

Have you no experience sailing? We're fishermen. I mean, we normally don't go very far. And does it look like there's fishing gear in the boat that we can see? Does it look like a fishing boat? It definitely looks like a fishing boat, yeah. Oh, that's good. Can I roll as well?

That is a 27. What is the name of your boat? Party time. The River boat? Party time. The River Queen. Party time. The River Queen. The River Queen. So Julie turns to the others and says,

he hesitated when he answered. He might be lying. Perhaps we should approach them as hostiles. Aldo, their boat is named River Queen. Obviously they're from Riverton. We should just let them on hostiles. Aldo, prepare your bombs. Their boat is named River Queen. Obviously, they're from Riverton. We should just let them on the boat. I heard that! That's very kind!

You shut up. Did I? You're getting closer and closer and closer to the boat. You see stuff in the boat. It's hard to tell if it's fishing equipment or not. Like, it doesn't look like... You don't see poles and whatnot.

But you do see stuff in the boat. I think Ave would draw her scimitar. She's not stupid. She's fighting with Atticus, but she's not stupid. And she holds it up. And she says, We are a boat full of armed mercenaries. We're not afraid.

If you have anything to say, say it now, or we'll let you aboard and bring you to Riverton. Okay. And so you pull up right next to the boat, and... Yes, Atticus? Atticus is going to exploration mode detect magic.

He's going to like constantly detect magic to see if there's any strange magic emanating off of them or the boat. Okay. You go to detect magic. If they're just fishermen there's probably no magic items on the boat. Yeah. Unless they're cheating and they're catching fish. They're to detect magic. If they're just fishermen, there's probably no magic items on them. Yeah, they look like fishermen.

They're dressed like fishermen. However, as you do this display to detect magic, you detect magic on all of their persons, like an aura of magic around their body. Hmm. Hmm. Um. Hmm. Hmm. Um, and I,

sorry. No, go ahead. I'd like to try to identify it. Um, at least in so far as like, is it just magical armor or is there like a small magical item that they're carrying or are they as people emanating magic?

Like, is it localized sort of to their torso? Or is it like their whole body is emanating magic? So you want to like heighten that to third level to learn the school of magic? That would be more of a combat thing. Yeah. I'm looking at the tech magic for Chewie, and it works a little bit differently. You receive no information beyond the presence or absence of magic,

so I actually already told you too much. No, that's not true. It's a cantrip, so it's automatically heightened to my level. So it's automatically heightened forth. I can pinpoint the highest level. I can detect multiple Johns. Right? Chat? Is that right?

Like for an imprecise sense you don't learn the exact location but can narrow down the source to within a five foot cube or nearest. Well, here's the thing. You're sensing four distinct auras near their person. Careful. They are emanating magic. Well, here's the thing. You're sensing four distinct auras near their person. And...

Careful. They are emanating magic. It's censored. And you get closer and closer. Ask them about it? Okay. You there. The one who was, like was doing all the speaking.

What is magical on your person? For a fisherman, you seem to have something quite valuable about all of you. We are but simple fisher folk. And so you have no magical items on you. And so you have no magical items on you. And so you have no magical items on you. And they start looking at each other and looking at you and looking at each other again. And they all in unison yell, all hail the water rat. See, this is what happens.

What is the water rat? Come on. I love it. They're looking at each other, looking at me, looking at each other, looking at me. Are you doing this? It's the okay graph. All hail the water rat! All hail the water rat. Roll, Rick, a roll.

Giggity, giggity, goo. I don't know how this works. I don't know how this works in 2e but detecting magic is an exploration activity is it possible that I could use something other than perception for initiative on that like an arcana or is it just

perception yeah I mean it's in the spirit of the game it's probably still perception but use arcana let's have some fun yeah I feel like I could argue for it because I think in the spirit of the game, it's probably still perception, but use Arcana. Let's have some fun. Yeah, I feel like I could argue for it because I think in the spirit of this situation, his initiative is up specifically because of his Arcana. Focusing on Magic. You know what I mean?

He knew that something dangerous was here. Honestly, I'm sure there'd be people who disagree with it, but I like it. So let's go with it. Dragon Rider J says roll Arcana for initiative. Hell yeah. So... I believe it's Dragonrider Je. Okay, Aldo, what'd you get for initiative?

I got a 21 for initiative. 21 for initiative. Atticus. 34. 34? I happen to roll really well. Ave Maria. 21 for initiative Atticus 34 34 Ave Maria 24 24 and Sir Julie

with your minus 2 20 yes come come we shall slay you like all the others we have slain surely at some point our enemies come we shall slay you like all the others we have slain surely at some point our enemies would learn but no of course not come

come onto my blade I'm going to reveal a new map for you please refer to roll 20 oh phenomenal god these maps these new maps Refer to roll 20. Oh, phenomenal. God, these maps.

These new maps. Look at the water. I love it. Yeah, it's great. Where did everyone go? I really don't want to. Oh, dear. They're below deck.

They're all having a party. Yeah, everyone ran below deck. Without us. And they're starting to panic. When they heard all hear the water rat, there's like a big hubbub. So Skywin and the crew are trying to control everybody. It's going to be a four-on-four battle. And we're going to kick it off with Atticus Grimm, who used his Akana. Amazing.

My roll 20 is simply not working I don't see any enemies does everybody else see us and the enemies yeah they're on the boat they're a little camouflaged oh I'm sorry I do see them move over to the right yeah okay got it

okay great Atticus is going to get the jump here and he's just going to start this incantation and he's going to get the jump here, and he's just going to start this incantation, and he's going to, as soon as they do that chant, he is going to bring this waving, shimmering wall between the two ships that all of a sudden wavers for a moment, and then our entire, not our entire ship, but like from our, like the gunwale, basically, up for 10 feet. It just goes invisible.

And so it's called invisibility curtain. So basically they can see none of us. We just all vanish to them. Wait, really? Yeah, and it's 60 feet wide. So it would cover the whole area between us. Awesome. You can do

magic games, hell yeah. I know my pronunciation expertise has been called into question on this show, but I believe that's pronounced gunnel. Gunnel? Gunwheel? I think you're right. Yeah, gunnel. I thought the gunnel. Gunnel? Gunwale? I think you're right. Yeah, gunnel.

I thought the gunnel was... Skid has endorsed my pronunciation. I thought the gunnel was just what uneducated people called. A gunnel! Well, if you remember all those mariners back in the day, they weren't college graduates.

And they didn't have a lot of time, so they dropped a lot of syllables. Yeah, so... All right, so basically, you do this, and that's how many actions? That is three actions. Okay. You drop this wall, and basically they can no longer see your boat is what you're telling me? Basically, yeah. I mean, they know it's there because it's only 10 feet, so they can sort of see the bottom of the boat in the water. They know it's there, but they can't see. We are all completely, totally concealed to them.

Unless they cross through the wall. Is it called invisibility curtain, you said? Yes, yeah. Unless they cross through the wall. Is it called invisibility curtain, you said? Yes, yeah. Unless they cross through the wall, yeah. And all of us can see all of them. Like, it's like a two-way mirror, basically. Or a one-way mirror. So we can see all of them, but they can't see us. Can objects pass through it?

Can projectiles or anything pass through it, or magic pass through it? Yes, yes. And I'll just tell you,agaming wise, like as soon as you attack, it ends the effect. So it was really just kind of basically to if they had a jump on us and had anything ranged, we'd have a huge advantage in initiative.

So, you know, if you didn't want to attack yet and wanted to wait and see what they would do, you could ready an action. But as soon as we attack, it ends the effect for everybody. Okay. Well, let's see how you guys play it. It is Ave Maria's turn.

Hey! I think I am going to ready a fireball and I'm going to wait until the wall falls. I'm just going to ready the action and as soon as the wall falls

I'm going to cast the fireball. It's at a 20 foot first so let me see just map wise. Can you ready a multi action action? That's what I'm looking up right now because I think that you can't but I also don't know

how to play Pathfinder. I think you have to spend two for a one action thing. I think that's how it works. Is that a three action spell, Fireball, or is it two? It's a two action spell. I think you can spend one action to ready one. No, because

readying is two. Readying is two actions. You know what? To make it within the rules, and I will look this up off screen, I will just hold my action then in the order, and that's it. Yeah, so that you don't interrupt. Yeah, ready does indeed take two actions.

Yeah, I know it took two, but I didn't know. So you can never ready a spell? That's interesting. I mean, it makes sense. Good if it was a one-action spell. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. So you're going to hold.

It is Aldo's turn. Atticus has basically bought you time to, like, get your bearings. Yeah, I mean, this would be great if they rolled all the higher initiative but they didn't so of course shitty fucking use of a spell like never ever ever ever can look for

ever I don't know it's poor Atticus it's poor Atticus he always just seems like I drew it Sir Julie is supposed to be the one with melancholia, Joe. Not you. You're delusional. Right, exactly.

I'm delusional thinking I'm a cool wizard. Okay, Aldo is going to come around to the starboard side of the craft. And he's going to pull something off of his bandolier. And he's going to say, I hope your boat lacks sulfuric acid. And he's going to throw a bomb. Natural 20. Oh, my gracious goodness.

Welcome back, Mr. Skidbar. Yeah. Oh, shit. All right, that's going to be a fan critical skid. Yeah, that's right. Fan critical. Critical. Which one are you throwing it at?

Is that magic or ranged? I think it's ranged. Ranged. Okay. And pick a city there, Skip. Actually, you know what? I'm going to pick Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge.

You've been to Baton Rouge? I think so. Is it nice? No. Is that where the Abita Brewery is? Oh, is it in Baton Rouge? That's real garbage. Maybe I'm...

Okay. Skid. Let's go there. Is it ranged or is it magic? That's in Coventry. It's ranged. It's ranged. Here we go from Baton Rouge.

All right. We've got Nate. Wait. go from Baton Rouge. Alright, we've got Nate. I lied. I haven't been to Baton Rouge. Sorry. We've got Nate Jackson from Shreveport, Louisiana. The old one-two John.

You hit your target so cleanly that it knocks them back, teetering. With your hands already on your weapon and their guard down, you take a second shot at them. Deal double damage. You may then freely move up to five feet to reposition without spending an action or incurring attacks of opportunity. You can then make a second attack with the same attack bonus for normal damage. Okay.

Pretty wild. Yeah, that's great. Should I do damage first for the initial? Yeah, so first it's double damage. Alright, which one are you attacking, Skid? If left or right, they're 1, 2, 3, 4. One furthest to the back. One furthest to the front of

their boat. Okay. Throwing at that one. Oh, actually the of their boat okay throwing at that one um oh actually no the one right behind that one one of them yeah that's probably the best one and the other guys will get splash yeah yeah so all right so that is double damage so that's uh that's that's two alright so that's six points of damage to that guy and then

two I don't know if splash damage is multiplied for people that aren't the main target but I'll say no so yeah so that's two points of acid damage to the guys on either side of him.

And then he's going to have persistent damage, which will be doubled. And then I'm going to throw another acid bomb on him. At that same attack bonus. Okay, that's a 24. 24 to hit. 24 to hit is a hit. Okay, so that's three more points of damage, and he's going to have a very bad time on his route.

Okay, so this is just the same guy. Yeah. All right, so you sizzle that guy right behind the guy up front, and his two buddies also get a little hit. Did they take some splash on that second attack? Yes, they also take an additional two points of splash damage on that. Okay. All right, great.

So you moved, you attacked, you got a free attack. Was that a free? It didn't count as an action from the crit? That was a... Right. So I'm going to throw one more. I'm going to throw a firebomb now. On the guy behind us.

We'll see. That's an 18 to hit. 18 to hit them. Yeah. That's a miss. Okay. It goes overboard. Splashes in the water. Okay. So it goes overboard. Splashes in the water.

Okay. And the invisibility wall curtain goes away, yes? Correct. And now Ave is going to step back into the order. Okay, Ave. And I would like to cast Fireball. And she is going to cast it directly into the center of the boat. It has a 20-foot burst, so she'll hit everybody regardless, but hit the entire boat as well.

Even though we know in 2E that the boat will not catch on fire from my Fireball spell, but she's going to do it anyway. You never know. So you don't hit Aldo. Oh, yes, sorry. And I will put it one square behind on behind them so you don't hit Aldo. Oh, yes, sorry. And I will put it one square behind on the boat so I don't hit Aldo. Thank you. Great. Four reflex saves?

Yes, four reflex. I get reflex for half, right? Yep, basic reflex. DC is 25. Be honest. Okay. First one, critical fail, so that's double damage. Second one. Oh Oh my gosh.

Second one, critical fail, so that's double damage. Oh my goodness. Third one, would you say 25? Yeah. Okay, that's a regular fail. And then the last one, regular fail. So critical fail, critical fail, regular, regular. This is so unbelievable.

This is so unbelievable. So that is 20 points of damage, full damage. So the ones who take double will take 40. And the ones who take the regular will take 20. will take 40, and the ones who chase the regular will take 20. And as she does it, she just says,

Light the way for this one, my lady! And she... Fireball just into the boat. She's not fucking around. You just see this fire explosion. If other boats are a mile away they would see this explosion on the lake

you still have one action left or you had to move into position no she did not move no she's gonna take she's gonna take she's gonna move ten feet back and be aligned with Atticus towards the left side of

the boat and after she does that she looks towards atticus as like a she gives him sort of like a okay you were right kind of look like kind of like eyes wide uh she even says she goes all right you were right okay i'm fighting him now and i hope you're happy atticus can i move for free uh because this is bothering me uh am i behind a wall that i just can't see them at all yes because of that place that doesn't make any sense so i'm going to move myself over here it just doesn't make any yeah i just kind of looking right at the place you right exactly so i just want to make sure that I had line of sight and all that Yeah, that's fine. Do you respond to her? When she says you're right?

No, he doesn't. He looks at her like sidelong and looks back at the enemies and he's just getting ready for his next spell. It is. Sergio Leister. Ah, yes. Sorry I'm slow to respond to threats.

Um, well... I suppose I shall come over here and... My blade in hand. Must we murder everyone we come into contact with? It's getting to be a bit much, really. Do you know how much death I've seen anyway? Can I try to hop over onto their boat? Yes, you would be using the leap action,

and you can leap up to ten feet horizontally, and it just costs you an action to do so. Great. I will do that. I will leap onto their boat, second action, and I will swing, standing one foot on the gunwale, one foot on the plank that goes across, like they sit on, I guess, the row,

which probably has a name that I don't know. And she'll take a swing at, I think this is number four? Yes, this is number four. And as you get into the boat, you see that there is no hole in the boat. It looks like they just poured a bunch of water in to make it look like there was a hole. Wow. Double liars. Double liars.

They lied about their identity and about the hole in the boat. I'm having a hard time deciding which lie was worse. I know. They lied about their identity and about the hole in the boat. Which is what this, I'm having a hard time deciding which lie was worse. I know. Which part is the lying? I did not need to face your mendacity today. My mental state was fragile enough. And it's a 20 to hit.

20 to hit is a miss. I'm sorry. 21. Also a miss. 22. This magic that Atticus detected under them was their sweet-ass armor. Yeah.

They were disguised as some fisher folk. I knew it. You jump over the boat like Errol Flynn and just you hear that sound looks like they're just wearing homespun rags but you hit armor and it repels you can tell

sword you can tell that doesn't happen but you can tell that she doesn't do it with quite the same joie de vivre I don't know how to pronounce it in French that she used to

she doesn't have that same kind of a lot um okay yeah everything she does is sad it is uh these guys turn all hail the water rat!

Skid, let's deal with some persistent damage here. Well, actually, the one that goes first is the one that doesn't have any persistent damage. So what he is going to do is he is going to move. Then he's going to leap. And as he's moving, he pulls his pole out of the water, and you see that it's not a rowing pole.

In fact, it is a trident that they had upside down and hiding in the water, so he leaps across the boat with a trident and goes to strike Aldo with it. Thrice liars.

A third lie. A third lie. Will the deception never end? Probably a miss with a 21 to hit. That is a miss. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

Now it is number three's turn. Now this is one of the guys that took splash damage. So, Skid, you said he has persistent acid damage as well? No, only the one that I hit directly will get persistent. Ah, okay. Then I will take off that little Jimmy John there. Okay, great. That one is going to look in the direction of Atticus.

No. Ave Maria. And he is going to... Boom! Cast a spell. Give me a fortitude save. Ave Maria. Okay.

That's going to be a 23. Okay, that is a pass. So you're just going to take regular damage for a pass. Right? Regular damage for a pass. No damage for a quick save. I don't know what spell you're doing. I would like to use...

I would like to use my reaction to recognize the spell. Atticus would like to attempt to know the spell. If it's second level or lower, I automatically know what the spell is. It's the spell is.

It's the spell. It's harm. There's another cleric on that spell. I still roll. So that's religion, right? Harm would come under or occultism. Religion or occultism, probably. It's a divine. So I'm going to roll religion.

And I fail. So I just, you roll still in case you get a critical success, because then you get a bonus to a saving throw against it. But I do identify it as a harm. Okay. So this is some sort of divine magic. You take four points of damage with a regular save against a basic corditude.

So not great for that guy. And he's going to use his last action to move up right to the edge of the boat here. Now it is the one right next to Sir Julie, and he is going to use Pathfinder 2E Channel Smite on you, where he will expend one of his prepared harm spells to make a melee strike. And if it hits, the harm damage is added to the strike's damage with the trident.

So he pulls the trident out of the water behind him and just tries to bring it down right on Sir Julie's head. Here we go. All right, that's going to be a 24. That's a miss. Oh, yes. That was the best. Get out of here.

It all seems so futile, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Makes you want to just give up and jump into the water. You might as well just go. Be my guest. I'll let you go first. He doesn't want to. But what he does do is he...

He kicks a plank that's next to him. But no, it's going to him. But no, it's going to be too hard for everybody's placed here. Ah, fuck it. It'll be fun. All right, he's going to kick a... He's going to kick a plank and now everybody look to your left.

Let's see if I can do this real quickly. This is really just mainly because it's going to be fun, I think. Kick a plank. Are you going to kick a plank at us? Which one? The one that has the persistent.

Oh, I see. He kicks the gangplank link out towards the other boat. See, that's what was confusing me because I saw our pawns through the blackness. I could see our names, but I was like, is there some sort of glitch? Oh, you could? Yeah.

But I couldn't see the boat. All I saw was our names. So now you see them. Okay. That is awesome. Once amazing how it extends underneath sir julie's life yeah well that's why i was like should i do this like a rule of fun i'm gonna do it uh just so i can rule of a rule of show off the map guys work right that's that's what the rule is i've invoked this before. It is the last guy's turn, but this is the guy, Skid,

that has the persistent acid damage. Kill him right now. Kill him right now, dude. He is taking a ton of damage. He takes 19 points of acid damage. Oh, he's dead. Actually, I think it's at the end of his turn. I think it takes at the end of his turn.

It takes at the end of his turn. It takes at the end of his turn. Do whatever you're going to do, and then you'll take damage. Okay. Second here, I'm just going to move these guys around because I forgot they took damage. I want to make sure I keep

myself honest. Alright, so he... I want to do that channel smite again, but it's so hard to hit Sir Julie. Um... Alright, he is going to... You know, I'll try it.

It's worth trying. Um, so... Yeah, here we go. Sir Julie... Correct, uh... i don't think so 26 that is a miss so again so close i encourage you accept that the world is against you as it is us all and just end everything right now Just end everything right now. He's looking at you like you're the crazy one. And he slides to the back of the boat, and that's where he takes 19 points of damage.

Yeah, 19 points of damage. And now he gets a DC 15 flat check to see if the condition ends or if it persists. Nice. And I rolled a 15 on the dot. Okay. That guy is in bad shape. You see his skin is like melting from the acid and the fire all mixed together. And now it goes to the top of the next round, and it is Atticus' turn.

Okay. Atticus was looking across at this divine caster and just eyeing him up, ready to take him down, but then all of a sudden his attention is diverted by this guy hobbling to the back and burning alive with this persistent damage. He's going to try to finish him. Melting.

One, two, three action magic missile. Oh, yes. So three missiles are going to fire over onto this dude. Let's see if I can do it. Let's see if it's enough. That's a max. Come on, buddy. That's not a max.

And that's not a max. So it's 11 11 points of damage and he is still up dead oh no but like teetering like he's teetering teetering off the back of the boat however at that moment

the one that is persistent I'm sorry he didn't save on the persistent right he did yeah I rolled a 15 you did so yeah I mean an AOE would probably wipe him out at this point but he looks in really bad shape however

when you harm that one the one that is about 10 feet away from server Julie right here at the left side of the boat he has a reaction and he like sees you hurt his friend left side of the boat, he has a reaction. And he, like, sees you hurt his friend and he

waves a hand at you, Atticus. And all of a sudden you feel, like, tiny little bites all over your skin. And it honestly, like, takes you back to that moment when you were underneath Iris Hill,

and you went through that long tunnel, and you came out, and there were all those little rats. While they didn't attack you, it has this feeling as if that swarm was all over you. Give me a will save. What is this? Oh, no, Atticus. Oh, no. Atticus. Oh, no. I'm looking if I have anything. This is just Will.

Okay. All right. Poisons, no. Disease, no. This is just Will. Yeah, it's like an illusion. It's an illusion. That is a 26.

That is a 26. That is a pass. So, yeah, this sensation of, like, dozens of rats nibbling at your body just immediately goes away. Whatever that was did not affect you. I didn't like it. It reminded me when I was under Iris Hill. You say it loud to yourself. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo, yeah, he doesn't like that this fellow is right up in his grill.

So he is going to withdraw to the bowward. Blow the sail here. to the bowward. Load the sail here. And he is going... He's going to toss another acid flask at the guy that he was just in melee with. Okay. That is a 27 to hit.

27's a hit. Okay, so that is four points of acid damage right now. And he will take persistent damage on his turn. a hit. Okay. So that is four points of acid damage right now, and he will take persistent damage on his turn. And I'm going to throw a fire flask at him now.

Ooh, natural one. Ooh. Oh, no. The dice give it. The dice take it away. That's going to be a fan fumboni. Okay, where are we going?

Do you want to go back to Baton Rouge? You want to stay down in Louisiana? No, let's go to Helena, Montana. Oh, okay. There definitely won't be anybody there. I'm sure we have a lot of... I don't know why we haven't done a show there yet. Wow, this is...

That is not what I expected. I think we need more of these. San Diego, California. San Diego? Come on. I know, it's ridiculous. That's the closest. There's no one in the Mountain Time Zone? That's crazy. Well, it's the closest chewy, it's ridiculous. That's the closest? There's no one in the mountain time zone? That's crazy.

Well, it's the closest chewy ranged fumble. It's all very specific, but it's also, and then approved. It's like we've got to read through these things, so it takes a while. Max from San Diego. I said duck! If a creature is providing cover to your target, your attack strikes the first creature providing a cover bonus to your target for normal damage. If no creature is providing cover to your target,

your attack ricochets and hits a random target, yourself included, within range for normal damage. Oh, okay. So it's a random... Wait, didn't Sir Julie provide cover no no because I was throwing at the one oh you're throwing at the guy on the boat okay so it would be like

you Sir Julie the guys Sir Julie's in with and the the priest right so it's random it's random like It's not. It's random. Well, all me and the three villains

and Sir Julie, I think they're all within range. So I would think. Yeah. Alright, so we'll say, um, villain one is one, the guy I'm pinging here that's on the boat with you is one. Then the guy behind him is two. The one next to Sir Julie is three. Sir Julie's four, and you are five. Reroll is two. The one next to Sir Julie is three.

Sir Julie's four, and you are five. Reroll a six. Okay. Roll a d6. Oh, me? Yeah, you bring your own doom. Four. That's Sir Julie.

Oh, my God. But does the other guy take flash damage? From the fire bomb? Yeah, they should. They should. Well, the one, yeah, the guy adjacent to her should take two points of flash damage. Okay. And then Sir Julie takes.

She takes 15 points of damage. Oh, man. Of course. You are a strong Alchemist. Of course this would happen. So I threw it, and it pinged off the side of the cabin and went at a 90-degree angle and hit Sir Julie right in the back and exploded. Sorry! I do not blame you.

I do not blame you, Arlo. What are the odds of that? The odds of the world conspiring against me in this particular moment are very good. I do not blame you. It is the universe who seeks to destroy you. Right, good on you. Fair dinkum. Fair dinkum. Fair dinkum.

When you threw that first bomb and hit that first guy, the guy that's standing right next to Sir Julie did the same thing to you that the guy did to Atticus. He reached out and waved his fingers at you, and you just start feeling all these tiny little bites

of things crawling all over you. Give me a will save. Okay, will save. Uh. Ugh, come on! 16. Oh, dear. Oh, no.

Uh. So you just feel immediately as this guy waves his hand at you. All hail the water rat! Dozens of rats crawling all over your skin. You look down, you don't see anything, but you know that telltale feeling. Long tails, and you just feel them gnawing and nibbling. You become Clumsy One

and take a minus ten foot penalty to your speed. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Something is happening to you. Clumsy won. I don't think we've ever experienced clumsy. No. Clumsy won.

Her movements become clumsy and inexact. Clumsy always includes a value. You take a status penalty equal to the conditioned value to dexterity-based checks and DCs, value to dexterity-based checks and DCs, including AC, reflex saves, ranged attack rolls, and skill checks using acrobatic stealth and theory. So luckily it won't affect me at all.

Oh man, it is everything you do, Aldo. I know. Oh. Alright, clumsy one and a minus ten to speed. What is going on with these weird fishermen?

Weird lying fishermen. Troy, I don't think they're fishermen. Hey, listen. Who knows? Ave Maria, do you? I think that might be another lie. Yeah, Ave's like, they lied about being fishermen. They lied about their boat sinking.

What else are they lying about? And she would like to do a perception check, like a free action, if I can, perception check to see. I know they're like hooded figures, but now one's on the boat and they're a little closer. Are they, she's looking like, are they undead? She recognizes they did a harm spell. She's just trying to figure out who the hell these guys are.

All right, so first action, you want to roll a perception check? That costs an action. Yeah, that costs an action. Does it cost one action? I'll take it. In combat, yeah. I'll take it. So that's going to be a 30 total.

All right. You see, now that you're up close, that they are indeed two men, two women, two elves, and two humans. The thing that jumps out at you, in addition to their tridents that they were hiding underwater, is that they're all wearing a symbol. Roll a 30. It looks like a symbol around their neck of a rat, like, walking on water. Huh. Now, if you wanted, you could roll,

you could take a second action to roll a religion check to try and figure out what that means if you want to burn that check or wait till next round I want to attack them I'll wait till next round I'm going to instead this is what's kind of great about 2e because you burn that first action now and you're like you know what

next round I'll take one of those actions I don't know what the hell to do with it yeah you're like slowly pie know what, next round, I'll take one of those actions. I don't know what the hell to do with it. Yeah, you're like slowly piecing it together during the fight. Yeah, it makes sense. It does make sense. But I'm going to do another tried and true fireball. to the very back right corner of the boat to get in the range. All three

Johns, but not Sir Julie. So like the very far back corner. Oh. What is it, 30 foot? I see Sir Julie in there everywhere. It's a 20. 20 foot. It's only 20? Yeah. Yeah.

I can do it. Yeah. If I hit the back corner of the boat, I can do it. Yeah. Yeah. If I hit the back corner of the boat, I can do it. Yeah, I like it. It's a dirty pull. It's dirty pull, but it looks right. It's dirty, but I can't.

I hit those bumpers, and I hit that one ball first, and it's fine. I can sink it. It's cool. Ball don't lie. You're playing APA rules? I'm playing dirty bar rules. I get to sink this one. Oh my god, Sydney was

telling me at the last show about running into this guy in a dive bar playing pool who was like, that's not APA rules. It was like jumping on her. Professional pool playing rules. At like midnight. In a fucking dive bar.

And he's like, do you know APA? He was British. And I was like, I'm going to kick someone's ass tonight. What a jerk. What a jerk. I know. Such a dick. And then he absolutely buried me because I'm bad at pool.

But anyway. All right. I'm going to roll some reflex saves. Yeah, roll your reflex. DC 25. 25 basic. You said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 25, your basic.

First roll, critical fail. That's the guy that was on the ropes. Second guy. Come on. Second guy, exactly 25, so I'll take half damage. And then third guy, 26. Actually rolled well.

But the first guy critically failed. Oh, double death. Which was the first guy? The guy who only had two hit points left? So, it's going to be 23 total, so double for him, that's going to be 46. So that guy takes 46.

And he's just like, ah, ah, ah. And he just like explodes in a fiery inferno. And then the other guys take half. So it's 23. So we'll say 11. 11 to that guy. 11 to the guy next to Sir Julie. And that flame licks right up against your ankle, Sir Julie, but doesn't hit you.

Sorry. That's three actions altogether. Okay, great. Now it is Sir Julie's turn. Oh, actually, you know what? I can't see it. Forget it. Okay, Sir Julie. Okay, Sir Julie. Okay. Sir Julie is going to take her first strike against the guy she's currently in melee with,

with the great sword, despite her creeping sense of dread about everything in the world. Natural one. There it is. Oh, there's a reason you had that dread. It's all that boning you did with Revan and Gossa. Made your sword hand weak. Oh no. What city, Matthew? They tell you not to do that before a big

wrestling match. Oh, what is this? What's the saddest city? I'm not going to go there. I'm surely going to insult somebody no matter how obscure a city I pick. So why don't we just go with the happiest place on Earth, Orlando, Florida. I think you answered the question.

Yeah, I think you did. All right, here we go. What do we got near Orlando? This is so lame. Okay. We got Taylor from Washington, D.C. Hi, Taylor. Oh, that's amazing.

Taylor from Washington. What's up, Taylor? The Yips. You're familiar with The Yips as a baseball fan? You're embarrassed by your mistake. It's rattled your confidence and made it so you're overthinking everything. But as your training kicks back in, it gets better. For 1d4 rounds, your multi-attack penalties are inverted,

i.e. penalty for your third attack is on your first attack, second on your second, and no penalty for your third. Interesting. So for 1d4 rounds, your penalties are inverted. So you have to attack three times to get your best attack. Oh, interesting. Wow, that's fun. Would that apply

this round since I got my max attack bonus at this already? Or does it kick in next round? It's up to Troy. I mean, the second one would be the same. So, yeah, the second attack wouldn't matter. The third one

would be your best attack bonus. But I've already had one, so I don't want to cheat. It would have to be next round. It would have to start. Just start it next round. We'll start next round. Okay, great. Sir Julie comes down with a serious case of

the Ipsus Collar her Chuck Knobloch. And she is instead going to break free from this encounter, seeing Aldo kind of facing off against this guy solo and is going to interpose herself between Aldo and that cold dude and will take her second attack against him. Perhaps I shall try my luck against you with a snapper.

Okay, that's less bad. 21 is a miss. 21 is a miss. It's a known miss. We also lost focus on your camera. You wanna? Yeah. Give us a known miss. We also lost focus on your camera. You want to? Yeah.

Give us a little hand. In the soaps. Ah. It's like magic. Okay. That is my turn. Great. This, my turn.

This guy here at the edge of the boat is going to first action leap, second action get right up next to Ave Maria and Atticus, and final action nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom uh

I can cast harm as a one action spell but it has a range of touch so that's what I'm going to do so I'm going to touch 1, 2, 3, Atticus 4, 5, 6, Ave Maria

4, 5, 6, it was a 6 Ave Maria don't you have to make a melee attack? I have to make an attack roll. I do. Here we go. Natural 20. Natural 20 on a magic crit! The old GCP on the green die.

Oh, man. On a heightened harm. This is a heightened harm, John. I hate this. Oh, dear. Pick a city, Troy. It's not going to matter, but go ahead. All right.

Who's really evil? Berlin. Have you been to Berlin recently? Amazing. Amazing. Okay, here we go. Someone who speaks German could be an evil man. We've got Oliver from Malmo, Scone County, Sweden.

I don't know if I pronounced any of those names right outside of Oliver. Thank you. Oliver from Sweden. Hi, Oliver. Complete lack of color spray. Your magic strikes the target's eyes, instantly altering how they see the world. Your target must make a will save. What?

Okay. And you know what, Troy? I'm also rolling a special green die that a member of the nation gave me, so I'm going against you. Is that weighted? No. This would be against the Creatures DC, Troy.

So you said will save, right? Will save. It's a 33. It's a critical. It's a critical. Critical size. Critical. No additional effect. So it's just the normal spell damage.

But is it double damage or no? Because it doesn't say double damage in the spell. No, because basically if you fail, this makes you blind. If you critically fail, it's like you're blind for a long time. So it was pretty devastating if you failed those saves. But a critical success is no effect, no additional effect. Well, it's weird because there's still a Fortitude save for the damage of the spell. You know what I mean?

That happens regularly. That happens regularly. All right, so now give me the Fortitude save against the spell. God, because that could have been really brutal damage. That's still, I'm rolling really good. I love this. All right, that's a 28. 28 is a regular pass, so you're going to take half damage again.

That's really not an awesome harm spell. You'll take six points of damage. Oh man, that turned really quickly into something not that bad at all. Not that bad. Thank you, Oliver in Sweden. Thank you, Oliver from Sweden. Thanks, Oliver.

Thank you. Alright, the one next to Sir Julie, this is the one that's going to take persistent damage at the end of its action, is going to channel smite again, because I really want to Sir Julie. This is the one that's going to take persistent damage at the end of its action. It's going to channel smite again because I really want to hit this. Here we go. Come on,

baby! 24. Miss. It's two actions to smite. So I will then slide back away from you. And then the last one will... God, if I roll well, I can hit this. You have good foreword, too.

So he's just going to do a leaping. And move up to you and try to channel smite. And he missed. So that's it. Now give me the persistent damage on that first guy. That is nine points. Well, that's the end of his turn, yeah. So that's nine points of acid damage and then a DC 15 flange.

Which I failed, so he remains burning from acid. Okay. He remains burning. Round three, Atticus Grip. Atticus Grip. All right, Atticus will take the one with the persistent damage who just moved back from Sir Julie. He's going to grab his bones and shake them.

So he's going to cast Bone Shaker on this guy on the edge of the throne. Bone Shaker. This guy is right on the edge of the gunwale. The gunwale? And about 15 feet from Sir Julie. You do it after the one on the gunnel. You do it after the one on the gunnel. Go ahead and roll a fortitude save.

And roll like you roll for Sydney. Well, I can't promise that. Let's see. 21. 21. 21. Is a failure. Oh. B.

Okay. Just need 15 minutes to read this, because I never expect. No, okay. You are going to... Is this actually possible? I didn't have the die? What?

What die do you need, though? A thousand dice, and I didn't have a D8. I needed a D8? All right. Go ahead, a D8. Here we go. Oh, good start, bro. Good start.

Oh, that's... Okay, so you take 18 points of damage, and I... There's no end. He's dead. All right. Yes. Great. Brilliant.

Brilliant. However, the one right next to him, as a reaction, does that same thing that he did before to you. Does that, John? Oh, man, every time. All hail the water rat. All hail the water. I am a rat.

I feel nothing. Bam. Made it. Success. Poop. Salad. The total is 28. I assume it's not a crit.

It's not. It's just a pass or fail for that one. Do you have the actions left? No. I cast the three-action version just in case he lived. I was going to do something terrible. Charlie Goodrath. Charlie Goodrath.

Charlie Goodrath. All right. It is Aldo Casimir's turn. Aldo, you're feeling a little clumsy. Yeah, I'm distracted by all this biting going on all over my body. I've talked about it. I stepped in a red anthill once, and the ants started running up my legs and biting me.

And for years after, I would feel phantom ants crawling up my legs. It was the worst thing in the world. So I can understand why it would make me cry. I've always been so scared of that happening to me. It's never happened to me and I've always been so scared of it. Oh, it was the worst. It was on our playground too in our elementary school. I just want to interrupt your turn real quick

while you're thinking about what you're going to do. I meant to do this on my turn, but I forgot and I got wrapped up in my bone shaking. I wanted to thank a member of the nation, a couple members of the nation, actually, because I got a really nice present in the mail. So,

a long time ago, at Regal Coat of Arms made a gorgeous for Highbury Coat of Arms. And then Eric Wise Jester on Twitch, some of you may know him, made this gorgeous thing that I can hang in my room. Oh, wow.

How awesome is that? It's like a canvas coat of arms for the rose and the light. Highbury! It's gorgeous. What, on a field vert? Yeah, on a field vert. And this is rampant on a field vert, and this is old Highbury.

But Eric, not to be outdone, also did new Highbury. Look at that. Oh, my God. It's the griffin and the wolf. Oh, wow. On a field of blood. I mean, come on. That's amazing.

Aren't they gorgeous? Nice little thing to hang around. That's really, really, really cool. Thank you so much, Eric. I just wanted to get that out there. Because I didn't know how else to thank you. Thanks, Eric. Thank you very much. Yes, thank you. Sorry, it's good. Go on. Thank you.

Okay, so fun fact, by the way, Knobloch, I believe, German for garlic. True. Except it's pronounced Knobloch. Alright, I'm, German, garlic. True. Except it's pronounced canola. Alright, I'm going to throw another acid flask at

the guy adjacent fighting Sir Julie right now. Throw an acid flask in his general direction. His general direction. Knock him right off. 20-20, that's a miss. 20's a miss, yeah. It is.

By the rules. By the rules of the game. That's a rule thing. All right. And yeah, I'm going to try again. Nope, miss again. I'm going to miss again. So I'm going, I'm going to.

Yeah, I guess I'm going to just, I'm going to do a perception check for my last action to see if I can see anything noteworthy about them that we haven't seen so far. That is a 21. Yeah, nothing really is jumping out at you. What about their armor? Now that he's gotten a little closer, is it leather? Is it chain? Yeah, it does look like some sort of leather armor. Okay.

Awesome. Yeah, I mean, that's not really that exciting. I just don't think there's anything else. Well, knowing that it's magic, I mean, that's not really that exciting. I just don't think there's anything else. Well, knowing that it's magic, I mean, that's cool. We have leather armor. Yeah, you do see some sort of magical armor, and all four of them are wearing it. The other thing I'll say that you notice

is that the fishing boat looks like it's battered, like it was in some sort of battle. Maybe these guys took it over. Yeah, they stole it from the fishermen. They killed fishermen and took it. Yeah, I want to give you something for a good roll there. What a bunch of pieces of shit.

And two elves too, Skid. Immortal, wisest, and fairest all beings. I'm more disappointed than anything. I'm more disappointed than angry at the elves. I don't want to waste time on my turn wasting an action. If there's really nothing to see, let me know. But I was thinking of doing a religion check from my previous, just on the symbol and everything, if I would know.

Yeah, go for it. Yeah, okay. I also want to take this moment to thank Queer Giraffe for pointing out that Matthew's clear passive-aggressive hatred of me getting gifts indicates heed, like his own crest or banner made for him. Possibly for Lord Northwood. Have you ever described the coat of arms, the Northwood coat of arms?

No, because the banner he carries for Rick Axel's game is an Order of the Blue Rose banner. So I should come up with what it is, though. You should have Alfie stitch a new one. He's a tremendous artist. Yeah, that would be a good idea. And I originally did that for Sir Will. I made up his coat of arms,

but I was supposed to be the Order of the Shield. He was a cavalier. He was Order of the Shield. And they already have a coat of arms. But I was like, nah, fuck it. I wouldn't do mine. What did you roll? I rolled a 31.

31. You start digging through your memory trying to figure out what religion is this? The water rat king. A rat walking on water, and you realize that they must be worshippers of Hanspur. Oh, my gosh. I know this.

This has been teasing in the back of my head. Hanspur is totally, like, in 1E and was in a module I ran, and there was, like, a statue of a giant rat. And it was like to Hansper. This whole time has been like itching at the back of my mind. I know that there's a rat deity that people worship. Yeah, and it is a forbidden deity. It's like there's a lot that goes on.

You're trying to remember everything but the heat of battle. We'll have to talk about it later. And he is literally, like, his domain is the Selen River. He is on the Selen River. So this makes complete sense that he ran into these people. Wow. That's a cool touch. Cool detail.

Yeah, nice one, Troy. All right, now knowing this. And Troy made it up on the spot. Wow. It's his deep familiarity with the Galarian deities. That's what it is. We all know I'm a lore whore. A big lore whore.

Hansper is a demigod. He's not even like a full god. And Ave is like appalled. Why don't you stop Googling it and just play with it? Shut the fuck up! Ave is appalled. And she, already with her scimitar drawn from when she first approached the boat, she is going to cut into this heretic worshiper with her scimitar.

Oh, I rolled so good! Natty 18. Nice. That's gonna be a 30. That is good. That's juicy. Ooh. 30 is a hit. And now I'm gonna do the damage. Yes! Alright. You are!

That's been for 15 minutes. Oh, I also rolled great. That's going to be an 11 for damage. Shipow pow, he's dead. Nice. No end necessary. I was going to say, you get some bleed as well, but he just bled out, and that's all I needed. Blood all over.

Now you got blood, shit all over this boat. But he's dead. He starts shitting himself. Oh, yeah, I know. His bowels have let go. It's a real mess. Now, let me ask you this. You got one action left. Do you want to do anything? Uh,

yes. She is going to run up to Sir Julie. She has going to run up to Sir Julie. She has just enough movement over these dead bodies, these two dead bodies. Squish, squish, squish. And she's going to run up next to Sir Julie and have her scimitar out to help protect her. She's got her back.

What a hero. It is Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, there is only one enemy. He has a way of making it so demeaning. There's only one enemy left. You are quite sad. What do you do? I'm sad. I've also got the yip.

So here's what I would like to do, and then maybe you can tell me how we can work it out. Rather than swing with a greatsword, Sir Julie wants to grab the gangplank that they extended and lift it and toss this guy into the water. Oh, fun. Is your fumble still applied to that action?

Is your fumble still applied to that action? If it's an attack. Yeah, I don't want you gaming the system and trying to skip your fumble. No, it's... I'm not trying to... I'm not trying to metagame it. I'm thinking, SirJu's like,

I don't know that I can trust myself to swing this sword. So instead, I'm going to try to end this fight some other way. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I'm thinking athletics, but you can talk me into... Yeah, athletics checks. I think it's great. It makes perfect sense. All right.

So SirJulie will drop her greatsword on the deck and said just with both hands, grab the end of the gangplank they extended to board the ship and just try to lift and shake and knock this guy off balance and he'll fall into the water and drown. Athletics check.

Okay, I'm going to use my hero point for the session because I rolled a natural three. Come on, get it. I rolled a natural four on the second try. Oh my god! That was such a great idea. It's fun.

It's definitely fun. Okay, you can use my halfling luck if you want. I can give you my halfling luck if you want. I can give you my halfling luck. You're within 30 feet of me. I literally am right next to you. And you can re-roll.

Oh, wait. Nope. Never mind. It's just for checks. I'm so sorry. It's not for attack rolls. Sorry. Sorry.

It is a check. It wasn't an attack roll. It wasn't an attack roll. It's a check. Oh, you're right. Okay. Then please use my halfling luck. Saturday's light.

And you have the ability that lets you share that luck? Yep, I do. I have a feat. And I can share it. Shared luck is my feat. Or my special ability. Let's field check our saving throw. Maybe a bit of Sarenrae's light cuts through the clouds of gloom

hovering over Sir Julius' thoughts. All right, yeah. Okay. Natural three. Oh my god. You've got to be kidding me. Amazing. Wow.

That Sarenrae was full of shit, man. You have lost the light of Sarenrae And I hope you find it someday So sad How many actions do you think it was for me to try That was just one action Just one really sad action One really really sad action

Okay Second action Sir Julia will pick up her great sword. Third action, she'll swing at her worst attack bonus because of the yip. That's amazing. Okay, natural 19.

Okay. I changed dice. And what's your bonus? 25 actually hits. Oh, my God. Yes. Awesome. Amazing. Amazing.

Get some D12s. Okay, that is going to be 17 points in depth. Oh, my gosh. All right, he is just, like, wavering there on the side of the boat. And it is his turn. And he will try to channel spite you. Because I'm determined to hit this once. Get him, LaValle.

Oh, oh, Natty's 16. 28. 28, Matthew. Don't lie, Matthew. Don't lie. Exactly. Oh no. You needed a natty 16. Or higher. Oh.

Alright. I rolled like a 24 to... Alright, so... Great. Great. So it's gonna do regular damage plus 3d8. Well, actually, yeah, you don't get a save on that. So here we go. Oh, this is fine.

What kind of damage? First, it's going to be eight points of piercing damage. And then it's going to be 16 points of negative energy damage. Oh. Careful of that. And then he slides back onto the boat. And it is Atticus's turn. One enemy left. What do you do?

Atticus looking down at one enemy left. Jesus. Atticus is going to... He will move. He will move past the downed bodies over to the edge of the ship overlooking the other boat about 10 feet from the gangplank.

Looking down at this dude on the other boat and he is just going to try to pull some... Yeah, so the fishing supplies that were left by these people that killed some of the weighted tackle. He's just going to take from behind the guy, and he's going to telekinetically throw it at him. So it just starts whipping from under the boat. The last revenge of the fishermen they killed. That is a 29 to hit. That is a hit.

That is a hit. That is phenom sauce. And, oh, come on. Why does it take me so long to do everything? It's because I stink. And loading times are a pain in the ass. But I think I already know the damage. And I do stink.

Two ones. That is 11 points of damage. Well, not only was that a cool use of my previous flavor text in incorporating the fishing tackle, but that is also enough to kill the final. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Amazing. final. Yes! Handspire Worshipper! The strange of the fisherman! Ha ha ha ha ha! Amazing. The Handspire Worshipper falls, but all three of you look to Aldo, and he's like, I don't know, Aldo, are you itching yourself? How is this

playing for you? Yeah, I'm like slapping at my arms now that the last enemy has fallen. He's just like, yeah, I'm like slapping at my arms like now that the last enemy has fallen. He's just like, ah, bugger! He just keeps like smacking at his arms and his body, thinking that these some creatures are biting him

under his clothes. Ave is going to cast Dispel Magic, looking over at Aldo. And nothing happens. Oh. She runs up to Aldo. I mean, this should have worked.

She runs up, she goes, Aldo, what else is he? What's going on? And he's like, he rolls up his sleeves. Like, he makes sure that there's nothing actually there. And I'm going to do an Arcana check to see if I know what this is and how long it's going to last. That is a 31. 31. Uh, that is a 31.

31. If she tells you that she cast, um... Uh, what did you cast again there, Ave? Uh, Dispel Magic. Dispel Magic. And it didn't go away. Uh, you think you have been cursed. Oh.

Oh, no. Cursed by this god. He can curse as a reaction? That's pretty sweet. That's really... Continually? Like, the entire battle they were doing this. That's crazy. No, here's the thing,

is you can spend some time now to try and figure out what this was. Go back into your brain and research, like, what kind of curse is this? Is there a cure to this curse? Is it just somebody cast Remove Curse, which I don't know if Ave has. You can spend some time to try and figure that out if you want.

His face just falls, and he realizes, like, this could drive me insane. Like, if I can't get rid of this, I'll go mad and take my own life. Oh, my God. Constant itching. I can't sleep.

Yeah, it's, like, horrible. You're just getting over scurvy. I know. It's been hot enough a week. Sir Julie dealing with melancholia uh atticus i'm having some unknown delusions and now you have this curse where you're oh god that feeling like when i had that liver problem when i had the negative i remember that you were itching your skin off people that have liver damage it's it makes you itch constantly I still have marks on my legs to this day that are healing.

Like, you cannot stop itching. You'll be in bed all night itching. I used to have to drink this paste. It is the worst, so I can imagine how this feels. Like, you just want to stick a knife in your leg. Ugh. So, Skywyn comes aboard,

and she's like, is everyone all right? Yes, we defeated them easily enough. But they were worshipping some rat creature. I don't know. Never seen anything like it. How about you, Ave? Have you ever seen anything like it? What about you, Ave? Have you ever seen anything like it?

No, I haven't. But I know who they were worshipping, Skywyn. Captain Skywyn. Thank you for using my title. It's a demigod. They call it Hansper. It's a giant rat, and supposedly it lives in the Selen River. So I'm not surprised we ran into these heretics but we should ask

well Ave Maria you don't have to tell me about Hansper I know about the worship of Hansper in these parts trouble is I think we're going to run afoul of more of them but normally they leave you alone Hansper is a neutral god sometimes

there is a neutral god. Sometimes. There is a town coming up we need to make a stop at. Riverton. I didn't want to stop there if I didn't have to but now with all these new mouths to feed we've run out of stores. I can't risk going any further without a stop. It's going to be another three or four days

before we get to the nation of Galt. It's a small town, Riverton. But now we're on the edge of the River Kingdoms. And Riverton is full of worshippers of Hansper. The only laws in this small community are the erratic decrees of the local demagogue. An elven man named Nyrel Twiceborn. They call him

the River Prophet. Now these people aren't all like these ones that just attacked us. They're not fanaticists like the Razmiri either. But they're still weird. For our purposes Riverton should be safe

Unless all of them have turned into what These people have become Normally they're accustomed to having visitors Or even guides asking for Nyrell's advice He knows a lot about the river in these parts But the citizens Zeal for pestering visitors To convert them to their god ice he knows a lot about the river in these parts. But the citizens' zeal for pestering visitors to

convert them to their god discourages lengthy stays. We have to stop there. But be on guard and keep your mouth shut, and he points to Ave, and keep your icons hidden. They don't need to know who you worship. We'll stop there.

If you want to take a dinghy with me to shore, just to make sure everything's alright, Right. Yes. Beachy. Um, can we... steal this fucking magic armor? Can we steal this fucking magic armor? Yeah, can we see what's up with the armor and the bow? What is this magic armor? Is it sweet? Yeah, you can just figure out that they're all wearing

plus one resilient leather armor. Oh my gosh. Whoa, okay. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Okay. Oh my gosh. Amazing. Oh my gosh. And there's four of it?

Wow. Resilient runes imbue armor with additional protective magic. This grants the wearer a plus one item bonus to saving throws. Oh my God. That's awesome. Yeah, so it a plus one item bonus to saving throws. Oh, my God. That's awesome.

Yeah, so it's plus one armor, and you get a plus one to all your saves. That's great. I imagine all of you can wear leather, but I don't know if it's better than what you're currently wearing. Yeah. The resilience is pretty cool. Yeah.

And there's no way to transfer runes or anything from armor to other armor, right? Yeah. Right? You can remove runes. Can't you? Can you? I think you just need to craft. I think you just need...

I think it's under crafting. I'm going to look this up. I'm going to look this up. Yeah, look it up. It might be kind of a game thing. You might need to pay someone to do it. Would it make you guys happy if you could just remove rooms? We'll figure it out.

I don't know. If you say it takes like three weeks, fair enough. Like maybe I don't get it until a certain time. But I will look it up to see what the crafting rules say. Okay. Yeah, they seem to be saying you... Chat seems to be saying you can do it. You just need a...

But you do need a crafting check. Crafting, yeah. It could be a multi-week thing or... It might be like a critical failure on a crafting could set you back or add time or something. Who knows? But you keep sailing and you're sailing on Lake Kallus.

You know, we haven't looked at this map in a while, but take a look at Royal Twanzoni here and I'll show you the journey map. Wow. There's Lake Kallus that you're sailing on and this is where Riverton is. Oh, right. So you're still...

You've been traveling for 49 days and look how far away you still are from Casimir. Amazing. Surely there must have been a faster way to travel. If you could all fly. So you're cutting through Lake Calais. She says she needs to stop at Riverton and then you're like she said

three or four days away from the nation of Galt she wants to make another stop but with all these extra people that you've added to the boat you've been just going through food like crazy she's worried you won't make it I mean hell Aldo's just getting over scurvy so

you the boat comes in and Aldo's just getting overscurvy. So, you... The boat comes in, and she says, I don't want to bring the boat all the way in to the dock, so why don't the five of us just hop on a dinghy, and you continue to earn your keep around here, keeping me safe. And you've done a great job so far. I'll hop off.

If I see that everything's fine, I'll just zip into town. You stretch your sea legs so you can take a break from the 95 people we have on the Starlink. And when I get what we need, we'll load up the dinghy and we'll bring it back to the Starlink. Does that sound good? And is this the same

day as this other encounter? Like, did we just go right from there to here? Or is it like a day later? It is, I believe it is all the same day. Yes. I'm going to spend some time to heal, refocus, heal. Heal, refocus, heal. Okay.

Great. When you're in the boat, she's looking around and rowing. She feels weird asking you to row. So she rows. She's like, it's good for me. I need to get some exercise. All our bodies will come to rot

Anyway So Julie I've been meaning to talk to you I've been very morose lately And it's bringing down the morale of the crew And it's really bumming me out And did you bang Rebnan Gosser? The question is not did I bang Rebnan Gosser The question is Were any did I bang Revan and Garsa? The question is,

were any of us able to rise above this thick and unyielding sense of doom that is set upon us? And the answer is briefly, one time, just a little bit. Just a little bit. Once we all three got in a rhythm. It took some days of practice.

Does that answer your question, Captain? I thought O.J. Simpson was a bummer. He's been really bumming me out. Chad, please. He's a delusional man. Anyhow, listen. God, everything's falling me out. Chad, he's here. He's a delusional man. Anyhow, listen, it's... God, everything's falling apart here.

It's getting a little late, and so this really needs to be in and out, because at sunset every day, there is a mandatory service dedicated to Hansper, which everyone, including visitors, is required to attend. I've attended one of

these compulsory ceremonies before. It's three hours of desperate shoreline flailing by mad, muddy fanatics. So, we don't want to be around for that, because you can't say no, if you know what I mean. We also want to be gone before any of the

community knows what happened, because even if they're not all, uh, vile like these ones we just fought, they could be friends or family with them. So, we're in and we're out. Understand? Aye. on her armor. She's like tied some fabrics around herself and she also looks less, you know, like a cleric paladin type and she looks a little more like roughed up

and she's got like a shawl. Atticus nods, but doesn't agree. He wants to go. He wants to get in on one of these rituals and see what it's about. You like mad, muddy flailing go. He wants to get in on one of these rituals and see what it's about. But he doesn't share that. Mad muddy flailing

on the riverbank. That's Atticus' thing now. Well, he's just curious. He's interested in forbidden activities. A different kind, let's say, than the kind Sir Julie's interested in.

I think maybe Ave sees... Threesomes. No, that's what Sir Julie... What was forbidden about what I did. I think Ave sees this light in Atticus's eyes as Skywynn is talking about these things, and he's listening intentlyently and she just kind of whispers to him Atticus

I'm not like a prude faithful person or something I have plenty of fun but the followers of Hasper are not fun and what they do is not fun

and I don't know what's going on with you but Not fun. And what they do is not fun. And I don't know what's going on with you, but... I just want you to know that we're all here for you, and... And be careful when we get to the mainland, and don't go... Don't go into the water if they ask you to. You presume I would take your advice after the incident with the fisherman? I just was following orders of the captain. I'm sorry that I didn't...

Sorry. She looks away. Sorry. She looks away. And I'm not interested in having fun. I'm interested in learning what it is our enemies can use against us. I want to know how to break them all down. Pull them all apart.

And he's like looking menacingly out over the water. There's something about this, Atticus. This new you. It actually works for you a bit. We always thought there was something odd about you. And now you're flying your freak flag a bit. Well, these people worship a rat god.

They worship a rat. What could be stranger than that? What? He has this really weird, uncomfortable, like self-deprecating, self-hating laugh. And as Atticus laughs, it echoes off the water. You get closer to shore.

There's, like, a few small piers, a couple buildings. It's a small little town. But as you pull the boat onto the shore and kind of drag it up onto the sand

you see striding across one of the nearby rickety piers a elf man with like crazy eyes

and his robe his robe is all like patches of other robes mixed together and his hair is like spiked up with mud and it's just like flopping and he just

he leaves a real sight and there's just like half a dozen or so women trailing behind him and you are pulling the boat up on shore and he walks over to you and just thrusts his

hands into the air and we'll see you in Boston oh god there's no idea what is going to happen here. No idea what is going to happen here. Oh, God. It's very icky inside. And it's going to be in Boston.

It's really awful. I'm going to be five Bud Lights in before I make a single decision. This is bad. This is bad. Oh, God. Thank you for watching, everybody. oh god thank you for watching everybody we will see you in Boston we'll see you in Boston

next Wednesday amazing we'll see you there and then we're right back here after thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon network for more podcasts and live streams visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon you