The Golden Hour - Interview's Not Over Yet | The Golden Hour #10 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: January 6, 2023Chris is back and the guys talk Dana White slapping his wife, Brendan constantly getting swindled online and his quest for a freshwater barracuda, Bane vs Batman, Erik's bangin ne...w outfit, Chris' time in rehab, they have a sandwich taste test and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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There's a blueberry that I know Rachel dropped.
Right.
I refuse.
Wow.
You're gonna wait for Eric.
I refuse to move this blueberry, you know?
And every time I walk by, I'm like, she could just leave that.
Okay, okay.
So now we're in a battle.
Here's the thing about Eric, every time he walks by, he has to fight because he's like,
I really want to eat that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a fight.
I know.
I know.
So there was no-
So it's like there's the double thing.
So you didn't learn nothing in this therapy.
We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about.
But that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us.
Ooh, yeah.
It's like a show you use the love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the golden hour
It's the golden hour
If you Google, what do you call it?
Like a hotel, for instance.
Let's say you're trying to stay at a hotel.
And you Google the hotel.
And then the first sponsored links that come up, you think it's the hotel.
And it's like some reservation thing.
So like for New Year's, we stayed in Malibu at this like pricey-ass hotel.
Right, slight flex.
Okay, so, well, you know, it was nice.
I know, cool.
All right.
But then like the first initial website I went to, you know,
it was like I tried to put my credit card, and then it was like got declined, you know.
And then it was like a fraud alert.
But I didn't know this until – because then I said, well, let me call them.
I called, and the guy goes, hi, reservation line.
It looks like you're looking for blah, blah, blah.
And I said, ooh.
I said, is this the hotel?
Or is this a reservation?
And was it an Indian guy?
No, no.
But he was like, oh, yeah, we're a reservation service.
And I was like, oh.
Shady.
That's shady.
But that's the shit that comes up on Google.
Yeah.
You got to be careful.
You got to be like.
People are paying for that shit.
So they pop up first.
Yeah.
Like my mom calls me once a month with apple fraud i'm like mom
apple ain't sending you these emails just click on it be like apple zzrr137 i'm like that it's
not their fucking email i click on no links ever no way your glasses beg to differ you look like
you click on all the links dude i i fucking i i lost my contacts Like I lost up two boxes of the right side and the left side of my contacts.
So now I have to wear glasses.
I just hit up my eye doctor.
Why don't you just order off 1-800-CONTACTS.
I know.
I don't do that.
You don't wear contacts.
You don't wear contacts, right?
No, because 2023 and they have LASIK, bro.
Did you get LASIK?
Yeah.
You did?
Yeah.
No, but this is part of my life.
You're Theo, right?
I can't see.
You're Theo, right? When did you get LASIK? Yeah. You did? Yeah. No, but this is part of my life. You're Theo, right? I can't see. You're Theo, right?
When did you get LASIK? Shit.
2013?
And it's all good. Been all good.
At night it gets a little dicey over the years.
How so? I just think there's fog all the time.
Well, maybe there is. I'm like, damn, it's raining.
And then my girl's like, the hell?
Yeah. She's like, it's not raining.
No, no. And then my eyes are real sensitive
to light. Yeah. Like when you see me wearing sunglasses, not like dark yeah, it's not raining. No, no. And then my eyes are real sensitive to light.
Yeah.
When you see me wearing sunglasses, not like dark ones, but like the yellow ones, my eyes are really bad with light.
But LASIK can't fix that.
It's because of LASIK.
That's one of the side effects.
Promise.
Your eyes are more sensitive to light.
But also-
This is a-
Look it up, Nick.
This is a Brendan fact check situation.
Look it up.
Yeah.
Because I don't, I'm not going to sit here and- New segment. Brendan fact check. Brendan fact check. Do it. Look at a graphic't i'm not gonna sit here and new segment brendan fact check
brendan fact check do it a graphic i'm 10 for 10 right now fc i'm 10 for 10 speaking of shady
websites i clicked on i because fair god no fair god the clothing uh-huh um they had this new drop
and i went to i thought i clicked fair God was fear of gods with a
Z but it looked exactly the same I'm like damn they have all my size in this
I'm more than everything four weeks I'm like with a fucking like stuff at not
just didn't come so you clicked a fear of gods link I didn't know they made it
look exactly it was fear of gods so that's what happens if you didn't maybe
if you didn't get LASIK't get lasik and you had context you would have seen boom dude z with a z dude i know i cannot even an s
can we start tallying a list of how many times brendan i've been hustling hustled
dude pull up fear of gods oh don't get me started on this transgender hooker dude no i'm just kidding
i swear it was a girl man fear of Fear of gods? Can you pull that up?
Yeah, I'm sure you can.
Two Zs, three Zs.
They got me.
And they're not sending you fear of gods stuff.
Oh, no.
They just took your money.
And then I was able to cancel.
How much did you order?
Oh, you did.
Okay.
You know, some stuff.
Wow.
Pants and shirts and stuff?
The whole.
Wow, dude.
And I was like, man, they have all my size.
Well, they're probably gone.
Of course they do.
They're probably gone now.
Yeah.
Right, right, right. It only takes like a couple people.
Because what's going to happen is they're going to call the real place.
People are calling them like, yo.
And they look it up and be like, oh, all these people are.
We've got to take these people down.
Oh, American Express, like the mob.
They're like, they did what to you?
I'm like, yeah, that's right, man.
Like, say less.
And they send like a taken person to go kill them, I think.
Oh, man.
That would be good to be that person, dude.
To be the real life fucking Liam Neeson.
That would be great.
To just live in the shadows and like fucking find people and murder bad guys.
I tell my girl when she goes to Mexico, I'm like, you get kidnapped.
I have a special set of skills, but I'm lazy.
I'm not coming down.
Apparently at my age is when you can start doing that.
What?
Be taken?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently at 50 is when I'm like. down. Apparently at my age is when you can start doing that. What? Be taken? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apparently at 50 is when I'm like.
How old was he?
You don't want me to.
You know what I mean?
And then he just cut to me in an Uber like, okay, I think.
Right, right.
Then get landing in Paris like.
Yeah.
Which is pretend.
No, it's like a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
You know, the boss guy.
The guy that works at the school,
he's this fumbling guy.
Indiana Jones is like, you'll never find him.
He speaks 10 languages.
You cut to him and he's like, hello!
That would be me.
You know what the thing is?
When you think of
you ever look at those kind of movies and think,
could this be real? What would the real
situation be?
What would the real situation be like?
It's like your daughter's taken.
That's it.
The movie ends.
You're gone.
She's gone.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Yeah, you just cut to you and your family just.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it shows you in Mexico being like, my daughter.
And you just don't speak Spanish.
And just there crying.
I'm saying, you're like
a relatively tough guy.
You know what I mean? Like, at what point
like, who's not calling
the cops?
You know what I mean? Who's not, your first move
is like, okay, this is where we were.
Who's not liaisoning with
the authorities? If they're kidnapped in
America, yeah, you call the cops. If it's
Russia, or like Mexico, or in America, yeah, you call the cops. If it's Russia or Mexico or South America,
I have some friends.
I get some buddies that call.
You got to go, dude.
Into them dark arts.
Them dark water ops, I would call them.
So you have people that you could call.
Yep, if it happened down there.
How much does that cost?
I don't know.
I've never asked.
They're not doing it for free.
No.
No, no, no.
Your friend's like, yo, I think my daughter's in Russia.
Wait, is it pro bono?
They're like, well, I do owe you a favor, man.
You did give me a thick boy sweatshirt one time.
No, you have to absolutely go yourself or, I guess, hire someone,
and it probably costs like half a mil.
More than that, I'm saying.
To kill someone?
Well, I don't know.
Well, we're not saying.
Oh, to save someone.
My brother found some guy willing to do it. I went right to kill someone. It's probably cheaper to kill someone. Well, I don't know. We're not saying. Oh, to save someone. My brother found some guy willing to do it.
I went right to kill someone.
It's probably cheaper to kill someone.
Oh, it is.
My brother found on the dark web it was like $600.
Yeah, but that's not going to work.
No, the guy's not professional.
He's like, just point me in the direction.
That's probably the same people that made the gods website.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or sold me those fake cats.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Legit.
But I find that when they were talking about the dark web,
I watched a documentary on it.
It's hard to find people that kill people.
Like it's not even on the dark web.
It's mostly just for like drugs.
Yeah.
You didn't go dark enough.
So there's a dark, dark web?
Yeah.
There's like the mixed dark web.
Are you on it in your life?
It's kind of like Chris Brown dark web.
I'm talking. I can't see anything like Chris Brown dark web. I'm talking.
I can't see anything.
It's too dark.
I'm talking sealed dark.
Because they're talking about the iceberg that they do is like above the water is the web.
And then the dark web is just boom.
Yeah, dude.
That whole glacier, like the Titanic hit.
We just thought it was going to move when we hit it.
Yeah, and I've been about right here.
If this is the bottom, I've been about right here.
Yeah, I've never been.
You go any darker, it's on you, daddy.
Getting on, is that like they use Tor, right?
T-O-R?
Or DuckDuckGo.
DuckDuckGo is a dark web thing?
I mean, they.
That sounds like a fucking cart.
It's a search engine, but they can't, the government and whatever, they can't track
your stuff.
Got it.
DuckDuckGo.
Like the sheep use Google.
Yeah, that's just what I use.
Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. You're just ordering fucking fake sweaters. I, duck, duck. Like the sheep use Google. Yeah, that's just what I use. Yeah, well, I mean, you're just ordering fucking fake sweaters.
I think it's fine.
Fair point.
Yeah.
Google would probably stop that.
I don't believe any of this.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah, this doesn't work.
I don't believe you can't be tracking.
Everybody's tracking it.
In fact, it's probably worse.
Yeah.
Because this is the one that's known.
How do you not know?
Like, it's like if you're on your phone and you like, you know, you're like, it's like there's a record of all of this, right?
You need to express VPN.
I might go to a private browser when I'm checking out some porn
or something like that.
I don't know.
But even that, I think, how would they not know?
But that's a bummer.
There's a connection, right?
If you use the private link to search for porn,
it never remembers what you searched for.
So every time you search, you know what I'm saying?
You type in the thing.
A private link?
That's the surprise.
I was just like, come on, man.
You know what I like?
You've gone incognito.
Yeah.
Oh, you can do that.
What's that?
So if you type in Pornhub, if you type P, Pornhub won't pop up because he did it in this browser.
And this is Google?
Yeah.
And you just go incognito.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
Oh, so Google offers that service.
No, no, no.
The web browser itself offers that service.
Apparently, it's like supposedly hiding your whatever.
It just won't auto-populate the stuff you researched before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's kind of a bummer.
But someone's got to know.
Right.
So if you use your mom's computer and then your mom's like pee, it won't come Pornhub.
Yeah.
You know. And not even just Pornhub. Yeah. You know.
And not even just Pornhub.
Whatever the fuck.
The pee comes up and then it.
Yeah.
It's like black penis.
Penis.
Pornhub dicks.
Pornhub whatever.
Pornhub.
Yeah.
You're just like, whoa.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Right.
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Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. right. right. my phone she's like what's that sign i'm like i'll look for it for you i don't want you yeah speaking of google i watched a movie last night called uh the internship with vince vaughn hold
on hold on and oh no no yeah it's 2016 i understand he's here yep no he's here yeah i've seen it a
long time ago i know so you did see it yeah bro okay so i i guess uh what made you go see that
in 2013 because i love love Vince Vaughn.
I do too.
He didn't miss back then.
No, he didn't miss.
And the movie is not good.
It's entertaining.
But he doesn't miss.
And he's good in it.
And neither does Homeboy with the beak.
Owen Wilson is good, but Vince Vaughn is hysterical always.
Them together.
They're good.
Especially back then.
When they get fired?
Remember they're selling watches and the watch guy fires them?
You have a good memory.
To movies and certain things.
That's really odd.
Movies and faces.
I haven't seen that movie in years.
When they get fired and they're working at the watch store
and they've got to figure it out,
and then they just try to get in Google and they're just dumb.
Yeah.
This isn't Wedding Crashers?
No, exactly.
They made this after, right?
It came out right after Wedding Crashers.
Because they were like, these guys work.
Let's do magic.
And then they did this movie, which is not the movie they should have done.
But it was definitely, I could see how they wanted to do it because it was about them
being salesmen.
And Vince Vaughn is very salesman-y.
And I thought it was like, oh, this is him going to be doing his best shit.
But there are some scenes with Will Ferrell that are really funny.
So funny.
Oh, this is the one where he's in first class,
and then he finally got the upgrade,
and then the soldier comes with no arm,
and he has to give him his seat.
Oh, really?
I worry.
You know Vince Vaughn's like 6'5", right?
He used to do jiu-jitsu at the same academy as me.
He's not small in any fashion.
Yeah, no, I know that.
He's a giant.
Great dude, too.
How much did he do jiu-jitsu?
I think he's a blue belt under Henry Grayson.
Oh, interesting.
Now.
I mean, I got to snap his neck from time to time.
Sure, sure.
Of course.
But when's the last time you've seen him?
I haven't been to Torrance in probably three years.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So you saw him three years ago.
Before the pandemic.
There he is.
Brendan Fatcheck, he's a blue belt under.
Wow, look at that.
So UFC fighter wants to fight actor vince vaughn wow not me that better not be me yeah no you don't wonder who has no i love vince vaughn yeah yeah i have a blue belt
i know yeah isn't that funny under machado Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to roll with Vince Vaughn.
That would be fucking awesome.
Oh, you guys would go at it.
He's big.
Blue belt's going at it.
He is big.
Yeah, you'd get me.
He's big.
And I think he's from Chicago.
He's a rough dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's an actor, like rough dude.
Now, you know Tom Hardy legit competes and rolls people up.
So I've seen this. You know Venom, Tom Hardy? Like legit competes in Jiu-J competes and rolls people up. So I've seen this.
You know Venom, Tom Hardy?
Like legit competes in Jiu-Jitsu and fucks people up.
At blue belt level, yeah.
But he's tough.
He's an intense guy.
Yeah, he is, yeah.
I was just watching actually Dark Knight, the Bane one.
He's just so good, man.
Even his face is covered.
And he's just like the boss to use this voice.
You think darkness is your ally?
Yeah, dude.
I was bored in the dark.
To show up, you got to have the confidence to be like,
this is how I want the bad guy to sound.
And they're like, hell yeah.
It's unreal, dude.
Now, I have a problem with this, and you know you're a comic aficionado.
Bane should be huge.
Bane was always in the comic the biggest dude in the room.
Now, with the camera angles, they made him look a little bigger,
but Bane should have been like you're talking like John Cena.
Christian Bale's not that big either, so he was still bigger than Christian Bale.
No, in real life, Christian Bale's taller than him.
Christian Bale's taller than Hardy.
Like, that's Bane.
Yeah.
Like, if they cast me as Bane, I'd be like, oh, I'm too small.
Well, because Bane was supposed to be Brock Lesnar.
But Bane was the one who killed Superman in the comics when DC was struggling and they made Bane kill Superman.
No, that's Doomsday.
Right.
Oh, is it?
Come on, dude.
Oh, shit.
Come on, baby.
I'm sorry.
Bane was the one.
Come on, baby.
No, Bane was the one who broke Batman's back.
Right?
This is what that was.
Yeah, bro.
You saw it in the movie.
Did he kill Batman?
No, but this guy.
That's right.
I had that comic book.
I had that comic book.
Fuck.
He saved it.
Me and my brother were heartbroken.
Wait, look.
So did Bane in the comics kill Batman or just break his back?
I know this is really pressing, too.
I mean, not only is it hard hitting, but we need to talk about this because it's current.
So in the comics, did he kill Batman?
I don't remember. I don't know. Doomsdayday did i wasn't a big dc guy yeah yeah well that's why
they fucking did all this shit you know what i'm into i have no idea why i think as i get older i'm
resisting the future like ai i don't fuck with electric cars i don't fuck with i can't get
enough of adam west batman oh i love him too that was when I was a kid, too. That's my childhood.
The TV?
I love him.
Yeah, that's my...
So good.
It was just stupid, but it was great.
I agree with you.
It was silly.
It was very silly.
I watched all those when I was a kid.
Yeah, this is like...
All of those.
This was like, you know...
Look how bad it is.
But that's what makes it so great,
and the superheroes in it.
I guess back then, though, people loved it.
No, but here's the thing, though.
That's clearly Adam West.
Right, right.
And how about Robin?
What I'm saying, like, you're walking in.
You know, it's like, so you go to Bruce Wayne's place.
Yeah.
And he's got this kid.
Right.
And then, like, Batman, you know, you're like, how do they not know?
That they're both gay.
Yeah.
I'd be like, oh, this is like a weird gay fight club.
That's what this is.
I'm just saying it's like there was a certain point where you're like –
so when they started to do this voice thing in the movies,
that whole thing was just because people are starting to be smarter.
So they're just kind of like, well, that sounds like Bruce Wayne.
Why wouldn't they know?
You know what I mean?
But that's where – was it the dark, who's Batman in the Dark Knight?
Christian Bale.
Christian Bale, that's when he was like, him and Ben Affleck really took it to another level.
No, but they, no, no.
Like if I was Batman, they'd be like, did you say 100% and fumble your words?
It's clearly a shot.
No, but because of Christian Bale's doing the voice himself. Yeah. In the Ben Affleck one, they had like this.
They made it seem like the mask had electronic things.
See, that I fucked with because that's more realistic.
But that's why they did that.
Yeah.
It makes sense.
In that whole new-
In which one?
In the one-
Christian Bale?
With Superman, Batman.
Yeah.
Whenever he started to become Batman.
Yeah.
Whenever Ben Affleck was Batman, they made it about- It made it more realistic. Oh, they did. Yeah. Whenever he started to become Batman. Yeah. Whenever Ben Affleck was Batman, they made it about this.
It made it more realistic.
Oh, they did?
Yeah.
But even with the Superman, they made shit more realistic because Superman has this big
fight with Zod.
They destroy the city.
Yeah.
And in the next movie, there's like a Senate hearing like, hey, man.
Yeah.
It can't be.
It's like $3 trillion. We don't have, hey, man. Yeah. You know, it's like three trillion dollars
in the Senate. We don't have a city,
lad. Hey, Superman.
Yo, bro, yeah, did you have
to fight, like, in the middle of Metropolis?
Also, you cost us more money. You're just
going to rob a bank, dude.
And how about, like, I'm sure
300,000 people are dead.
So it's like, there's a point where you
go, there's a point where, like, we're watching the movie and we're starting to see that.
It's like every time now I do this, when I'm watching a Fast and the Furious and there's a car chase and the obligatory gas truck blows up, I'm always like, well, that guy's dead.
So nobody's accountable for –
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even in this last –
Even the good guy does.
Even in this last Batman.
I do the same shit.
Batman's chasing Penguin.
There's a big slugging explosion.
That guy's dead.
Why isn't the Penguin arrested?
He just keeps on.
Why didn't they just let him go?
They're like, yeah, we had this big car chase.
And there's a 10-car crash up.
There's people who are injured.
And that guy, the gas truck that blew up, that guy's now dead.
And his family is looking for, you know, it's like, yeah.
His family started GoFundMe.
So it's like Batman, you are accountable.
And Penguin, you can't just walk free.
I mean, we are at that point in our lives right now.
But also, Eric, you're watching a movie called Batman.
There's another guy named the Penguin.
Right.
It's not Exploding Guy and Cement Truck.
That's not what the movie is called. Yeah, no. But that's like where the fuck's the go fund me for the guy no no but
but hold on there is in in in the comic book in the graphic novel the boys that's what it's about
it's about the collateral damage that these superheroes do and it's not really about that
on the tv show yeah but the tv show is great but they uh but the comic, what do you call it, the graphic novel, that's what it's about.
But they're dealing with it.
You know, it's like-
Real life issues.
Even in that show, they're dealing with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like an extended cut and they do go back and show like, here's the trucker's family.
Just a family crying at a funeral.
Yeah.
I need some closure.
Remember the trucker?
I need some closure.
That blew up.
You know what I mean?
Little factory on the Adam West Batman.
You know who was trying to play the Joker before they casted it?
Frank Sinatra.
What?
He was trying to play the Joker back then.
He wanted to be the Joker, but they already casted that other dude.
Jack Nicholson?
No.
Oh, you're talking about-
Adam West.
Frank Sinatra wanted to play the Joker so bad, but they already casted the homeboy, the original Joker.
And you know, he got the role and he was so good at it that they're like hey dude you gotta shave your mustache he's like uh-uh who the the
original joker bring him up so in every he is his face painted white but his mustache is oh my god
you can see it clear as day and his mustache yeah he just look it up he was so gangster in his like
contract he's like refuse to shave my mustache. Oh, yeah. I do remember that.
And then he also came up with the laugh.
That's how he got the gig.
Whoa.
So he has a mustache in every single scene.
Just gangster as shit.
Why does he have a mustache?
With the weird facts.
I'm way too into Batman.
Can we watch a clip?
I'm into Adam West and fucking Phish right now, dude.
It's very weird.
Phish the band or just Phish?
No, Phish in general.
Sicklids, Oscar Phish, looking for freshwater bar very weird. Fish the band or just fish? No, fish in general. Cichlids,
Oscar fish, looking for freshwater
barracuda. Wow, you're crazy.
Crazy about fish.
Oh, the shark bites!
I just went to the...
That would have been weird.
Look, be the lady tonight.
I guess he was probably just so... Imagine being
one of the most famous people
in the world, and you're so famous that you go, hey, can I do that?
And they're kind of like – you know what I mean?
Like how do you tell the most famous dude in the world like, ooh, I don't know if you're right for this.
Yeah, because you're not an actor.
Right.
He was – this is the guy. He thought he ran the world. He was – at that time. Yeah, because you're not an actor. Right. This is the guy.
He thought he ran the world.
He was, at that time.
Oh, bro.
What is that?
What is that, Eric?
Like the 66, 68?
How old is Frank Sinatra in that?
Late 50s.
Frank Sinatra was always 55.
So was that when he was, how old was he then?
That's odd.
That would have been so weird.
So back then he was the man.
It was like, hey, I want to be Joker. I don't know So back then he was the man. So they didn't get him?
It was like, hey, I want to be Joker.
They're like, I don't know if you're right because you know the Joker doesn't sing, bitch.
35?
But that would be like, who?
50.
It would be like, maybe like, who's famous like that?
It'd be like if Tom Brady is like, yeah, I want to be the next Batman villain.
You know?
It'd be like if David Beckham was like, hey, I want to be the Riddler.
Yeah, somebody famous.
And then they're like, hey, bro, no.
That must have been hard to say no to him back then.
And he has mafia ties.
He was like, hey, if you don't put me as the Joker.
I feel like it probably wasn't that they said no.
I feel like it probably was that.
He's like, ah, it's not going to work out.
No, it was already casted.
So they're like, oh, we already got a guy.
Got it, OK.
Even still, man.
I think if Frank Sinatra was like, hey, imagine the balls on that guy.
Who would that be like?
What musician now?
Make a call.
See if I can meet a joker.
Would that be like Adele being like, hey, I want to be in the new Ghostbusters?
Yeah.
And like, mm.
As what?
The state-run marshmallow man?
But I'm saying if you really play that out, I'd watch it.
She's thin now.
She looks good.
How can they say no to Adele?
To be in Ghostbusters?
Yeah.
How can they say no?
Hello from the other side.
What if she's like, yeah, I want to.
What if they're like, yeah, you can play the green ghost.
I used to ask my dad when I was young.
You can play Slimer, bitch.
I used to ask.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We casted Lizzo already.
I do not endorse that statement.
I was watching.
I remember when I was a kid
I used to ask my dad like do you
think that Tom Cruise if he wanted
to if he really like
was adamant about it if
he could play Anne Frank
in the Anne Frank story. Was your dad like
what's wrong with you? My dad was like
no I don't think so and I was like you don't think Tom
Cruise is famous enough to where I mean this was
back in the 80 fucking 8 1995 whatever it was and he was like I don't think so. And I was like, you don't think Tom Cruise is famous enough to wear it? I mean, this was back in the 80-fucking-8, 1995, whatever it was.
And he was like, I don't think so.
When he was Jerry Maguire days?
I mean, he was the biggest, bro.
You don't think he could have played Anne Frank?
He's still big.
He can do whatever.
You think Tom Cruise?
Tom Cruise could play Jackie Robinson.
I'd go by and take it.
Today.
If Tom Cruise went blackface and played Jackie Robinson, I'm in.
But today.
Well, Robert Downey Jr. did it, and we were all in.
Yeah, but that wasn't comedy. And that could not happen Brown. I'm in. But today. Robert Downey Jr. did it. We were all in. Yeah, but that was a comedy.
And that could not happen today.
Not a chance.
So what I'm saying is back then in the 90s,
do you think that Tom Cruise could have played Anne Frank
and been in the Anne Frank story?
And not a comedy.
And he's in the attic like.
No.
No, you know why?
Why?
Because we were way more homophobic back then too.
Even more so.
And it would have been like a whole thing.
He wouldn't wear a dress.
No, he could play Arnold Frank, right?
Remix.
But if he did wear the dress and he was playing a woman in makeup,
you think in the 90s he could have done it?
No, no, not in the 90s.
And AIDS, like early 90s, AIDS was popping?
Maybe.
I don't know. How fantastic would that have been? Be, no, not in the 90s. And AIDS, like early 90s, AIDS was popping? Maybe. I don't know.
How fantastic would that have been?
For real. I'm so into it. It would have been the best movie I have ever seen.
Remember how big of a deal it was when Tom Hanks did
Philadelphia? He was a gay dude. Denzel.
Oh, yeah. He won
back-to-back Oscars. Yeah, his boyfriend was
Anthony Medeiros. Yeah. Dude, he should have
Tom Hanks. Yeah.
Yeah, but that was a movie that was about AIDS.
Right.
It was to showcase.
And actually now, the wokeness now is he regrets playing a gay character.
Because he wasn't gay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck off.
Oh, I heard about that.
Yeah, he did say that.
This is why I like Avatar.
Why? Because you can't say that. You can't say that I heard about that. Yeah, he did say that. This is why I like Avatar. Why?
Because you can't say that.
You can't say that about anyone.
What do you mean?
Nobody's blue.
Exactly.
Well, but they still did.
They said it's cultural appropriation.
To Native Americans.
To Native Americans.
Go to cultural appropriation, Avatar 2.
But then James Cameron, the director, he was like,
I want everybody to know, you know, with gun violence going on in America,
I took out 30 minutes of gun violence in this movie.
It's like, yeah, bitch, because it's three hours and 45 minutes long.
Thanks for the 30 minutes without the gun violence.
Called out for cultural appropriation.
I'm so done with this.
That movie was great.
Oh, was it?
Yeah.
I thoroughly enjoyed that movie.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I'm sick of all this.
Like, I'm tired of all of this stuff.
I walked out after an hour.
I walked out after an hour.
You did?
Yeah. Why? Who were you with? Too long. Who were you with? after an hour. I walked out after an hour. You did? Yeah.
Why?
Who were you with?
Too long.
Who were you with?
My six-year-old.
Over an hour is too long?
No, I was there for an hour.
I thought, how long is it?
The guy goes, yeah, two and a half hours.
I went, I'll see you later.
I didn't like the story.
I didn't like the story.
Why not?
I didn't like the storyline.
I am not an Avatar fan.
I get what it is.
The first one's great.
Even the first one.
You didn't like the first one?
Nah.
No, no.
It's good.
It's just not for me.
It's too much, bro.
Everything's blue.
Oh, you know what he has?
Avatar blues.
You heard that?
People committing suicide because Avatar's not real.
You heard about this?
No.
Bring it up, Nick.
Avatar blues because people are so sad that avatar is not real they got
depression you know what you need to have a website whocares.com and yeah these are the
things that you post yeah or just a instagram or it should be called we shouldn't care.com yeah
but these people do yeah you shouldn't care somebody does these people do look at this
pads is not a medically
recognized condition
but the feelings people
experience are very real.
Yeah, well, okay.
I don't think it would be
exactly in the DSM-5.
Well, I'm just saying
the technology,
this movie looked fantastic.
Yeah.
Like you look like
you were watching
National Geographic.
I just love how it's like
Sam Worthington in
and it's just like,
oh, that's not Sam Worthington.
Well, they're doing
three more movies.
They already filmed them all.
They've been doing it for 10 years.
He's got them all filmed.
Is that why it took so fucking long?
Yeah, because he was worried about also the kids growing.
It's the same problem Stranger Things has.
It was supposed to be in high school.
One of them is like 27.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He was like, we waited too long.
This dude has a beard.
Yeah, yeah, it's tough.
Hey, who do you have for English?
Like 11 group tits.
You drinking?
11 has double Ds.
Why is she in seventh grade?
So I watched a little bit of Stranger Things season one.
I didn't watch the thing.
Did you watch it?
Yeah, dude.
So it's not good though, right?
It's one of the best shows of all time.
I think the finale of this last season, it was fantastic.
Oh, thank God.
Well, I'll just watch that. That would have hurt. It was so good., thank God. Well, I'll just watch that.
That would have hurt.
It was so good.
I'll just watch that.
I'll just watch that one episode.
Oh, it's so good.
Style over substance.
Thank you, next.
When the little redhead's running.
Nostalgia doesn't equal good.
Thank you, next.
Nope.
When the little redhead's running, and what's his name?
What's the bad guy trying to go for?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that song's playing?
Yeah, yeah.
You got some fan submissions
Nicholas
oh yes sir
now me and Nick
in the Green Bay outfits
Doug
I wore this just for Nick
thanks Brian
Bart Start
Bart Star dude
or Bart Start
Bart Start
very cool
I know you don't know
who that is
I don't know who
Bart Start is
he's a white dude
who dominated
back in the day
before black guys played
he was the man
you don't have the name
on the back
no he
Bart Start
Like
Well that's what we call him
If you're like
In
The Green Bear
Bart Start
Yeah Bart Start
That's like saying
Let's get it started
They used to play that song
Let's get it started
Bart Star
Star is already
A great last name
Like he just said
Michael Borden
You know what I mean
That's what he just did
Bart Start
But no He used to play that Black guy Let's Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he just did. Bart Stark. You know what I mean? But no, he used to play that black eyed people.
Let's get it started.
I get it.
That's what he just did.
And that was in 1969.
Oh, that's how old he is.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a long time ago.
Oh, that's throwback, daddy.
You don't play now.
He's like.
Before we get started, how were your holidays?
I haven't seen you guys since the holidays.
Yeah.
Actually, no.
Let me say, honestly, my holidays were different.
Thank you for holding the fort down. Because you're i was gone i am jewish now i converted to be jewish now
no i was gone for six weeks uh you pre-recorded episodes because i i went to rehab um and i wanted
to uh thank you guys for doing that um i needed to do. I always should have went to rehab. And I did not until November of
this past year. And thank you guys for holding down the fort. I needed to get my mental right.
And I needed to check in with my addiction. And I appreciate you guys for holding it down.
So thank you. And I want it to be transparent and tell people.
Thank you, brother, too. Matt crushed it.
Oh, yes. I know. Right. Thank you to Matt.
This is a tough conversation to have.
Matt's in your area.
Because Matt's better.
Yeah.
I know.
I know he's better.
Me and Matt have a podcast.
Listen.
Me and Matt have a podcast.
It's not the first time you've done that.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
By the way.
Hey, it's me, Matt, and Bobby.
No, no, no, no.
By the way, I took time for mental health, and you got a new fucking podcast host.
That's literally – that already happened.
Yeah.
That's happened before.
Oh, I know.
Theo.
Watch yourself.
All right.
Yeah, I got to –
This is mental health, man.
I'm just losing guys left and right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm the one constant.
You know, good for you.
Board start.
We all got to work on ourselves.
I've had addiction in my life.
Someone close to me.
I know how tough that is.
It's a constant struggle.
So keep on the path is all.
Yeah, I'm proud of you, man.
Thank you.
Anyone who don't fuck with you, don't fuck with me.
You know this.
Yeah.
Fuck everybody.
Love you.
That's how I feel about it.
Yeah.
I mean, dude, the stories are unreal, dude. Can you give us one? Yeah. I'm sure you can allude to it on your podcast. I mean, dude, the stories are unreal, dude.
Can you give us one?
Yeah.
I'm sure you can allude to it on your podcast.
I can.
I don't have enough hours in the day to listen to it, right?
I do talk about it on my podcast, but I know, I know.
Give me one juicy one.
No, there's no juicy.
I don't want to share the juicy shit that people, but dude, you're saying it like if
it was like a cocaine addiction, you're saying it like, tell us a juicy one like, yeah, well,
we snuck some cocaine in. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah. It's like, come on. This guy, Jeff, snuck cocaine in his butt or something like that us a juicy one like yeah well we snuck some cocaine in
yeah that's what I'm thinking
yeah
this guy Jeff
snuck cocaine in his butt
now there's no juicy shit
there's just like one guy
was there
because he watched porn
for 12 hours a day
and couldn't stop
you know what I mean
that's as juicy as he gets
but no there was
and was he normal
or was he just
yeah no you would never know bro
he's like hey bro
you have you seen block.com
you know they say that
porn withdrawals
are the
are one of the hardest shits
because you grow up with it nowadays, right?
Because it's all over the place.
It's on here.
And you just go there for comfort.
You know, these people feel the way they feel.
They don't know how to cope with their emotions, which I'm big with.
I don't know how to cope with my emotions.
I hate being alone in my head.
And so a lot of people will just grab the phone and look at porn to just zone out
it's like doing heroin wow they say it's they say it's like the second hardest thing to kick
they say heroin being number one yes yeah yeah yeah so i mean that kind but see the thing is the
difficult part about like you know it's like it it sucks that people look at sex addiction as like
sucks that people look at sex addiction as like it's like it's almost it's like if they don't respect it because of like how it affects the people other people that are involved that's the
hardest part again though it's like alcohol is different because alcohol doesn't have a soul
and feelings so that's why sex addiction it always involves someone else it involves like or or the if you're
like looking at porn for 15 hours a day and then you have a wife and a girlfriend and yeah you know
you're breaking hearts yeah you know what i mean you're breaking hearts you're hurting people i'm
breaking bottles you're breaking there are there are though like you know i mean look man it's
every addiction is fucking horrible in its own way it's like you know you go you you drink alcohol
you you fucking can't stop you go you drive you kill somebody you know what way. It's like, you know, you go, you drink alcohol, you fucking can't stop. You go, you drive, you kill somebody.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I just have a-
Would you guys like get in a group
and you'd be like, hey, I'm Chris.
All day long.
And then would you hear some of those stories?
I'm like, God, I'm not doing that bad.
Oh, man.
I've been in some of those meetings.
Oh.
Not because I went with a buddy
and you'd be like, holy shit.
Oh, my.
That's a tough one.
Jeff has it rough.
Well, you know, for me, I went to, I had to go to like, it's kind of like Al-Anon.
But it was for the drugs and alcohol.
You're a family member, friend of the person.
And then it was a Zoom.
I'm in this Zoom and I'm hearing the other people,
what they're dealing with,
with their family member.
And then there is a moment where you go,
and I don't even know if this is a good thing.
There's a moment where you go,
whew, I'm glad my person wasn't dealing with,
or I'm not dealing with that.
But at the same time-
That's exactly how I felt.
I was like, oh shit.
There's levels to this game.
It's like you hear these stories
and you just go, oh man.
And you just go, oh my God.
But it's tough, man. Because listen, you get, oh, man. And you just go, oh, my God. But it's tough, man.
Because listen, you get as a person when you're a family member or friend of someone who's dealing with addiction, there's some PTSD to it.
There's some collateral damage.
There's some feelings that you have that you don't even know you're dealing with.
And it's hard.
You know what I mean?
It is hard.
It's hard.
You know what I mean?
It is hard.
So for the people out there who are dealing with, if you have a family member or anybody that's dealing with something like this, don't not look out for yourself because it is important
for you because you can't really fully be there for the person if you're not able to
understand your boundaries and your feelings and that kind of stuff because it's important.
So that's all.
Boundaries is a big one.
Yeah.
I went to therapy for boundary issues.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, boundary issues.
Like, I don't think people even realize how strong boundary issues are.
It's like when you can't say no because you think you're going to let someone down.
When you, like, you know.
My wife would, you know, is just, you know, like whenever we get in an argument uh she would be like i need
to go and leave me alone for a little bit i need to go just be by myself and dude i would have to
sit there in the other room and i just it's it's so hard for me dude that's the shit that i can't
deal with and like that's a boundary it's like okay i need to fucking make she doesn't want to
talk right now okay do you like to push the boundary?
Because I'll talk underneath the door.
I'll be like, are you sure you're good in there?
Monster, dude.
Oh, fuck.
Can you imagine?
You're in there trying to deal with some shit,
and this motherfucker has a fucking fucked up ear.
No, I push snacks, too.
I'm like, here's a fruit by the foot.
I texted you.
That's tough.
Yeah.
I'm going to crunch up these Doritos.
Even in a relationship,
just to move
from...
There's a blueberry
on the stairs
in my place right now.
Right now.
There's a blueberry that I know
Rachel dropped.
I refuse.
Wow.
You're going to wait for her to see it?
Here's the thing about Eric.
I refuse to move this blueberry.
You know?
Every time I walk by, I'm like, she can just leave that.
Okay.
Okay.
So now we're in a battle of like, I know you see this blueberry.
Here's the thing about Eric.
Every time he walks by, he has to fight because he's like, I really want to eat that fucking thing.
It's a fight.
I know.
I know.
So there was no.
So it's like there's the double thing.
So you didn't learn nothing in this therapy.
It's the double thing.
It's the whole.
I want to clean it up.
But also, God damn it looks good.
So but like.
But also.
It's going to get green.
And I'm still going to just be like.
And then the fruit flies are going to come.
But my thing is like.
I like fruit flies.
But I'm saying there's like.
There is things in relationship.
Because this is petty.
I'm being petty.
You know.
So it's like.
You have to like. How do you. How do you get past. So it's like you have to like, how do you get past?
And it's just one blueberry?
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
I wonder if she knows she dropped it.
Is it like one of the big plump ones?
By the way, for the holidays, my wife got me this.
Oh, cool.
One of these.
What's it called?
It has all these facts.
Is it the Nova ring?
Is it Nova?
Or a ring?
Or a ring.
I don't like them.
I told you, I don't like them.
Plus, you need to get one for like, put it on your dick.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
That it's just, that she can track.
It's called a cock ring.
Cock tracker.
Cock tracker.
Oh, guys, I have a boner.
She's like, why are you hard at 11 a.m. in the studio?
Oh, you know what's funny?
Somebody did get caught cheating like that.
What?
Their Apple Watch.
Their Apple Watch.
Their heart rate was going up at like 2 a.m.
Their heart rate was going up at like, I see, yeah.
That's a story.
That's a real story.
Come on.
Yeah.
I'll be here the rest of the time, yeah.
First of all, why are you fucking with your watch on?
But I'm just saying.
Like socks.
This is a black porn.
You know, it's like.
So anyway, this is one of my. I got a lot of my Christmas It's like So anyway This is one of my
I got a lot of my
Christmas gifts on right now
This is my Christmas sweater
Is that from Eddie Bauer
I don't know
That's a very daddy
Eddie Bauer sweatshirt
Actually let me tell you something
That sweater
Is fucking awesome
Yeah thank you
I loved it right away
It's all Rachel
It has to be daddy Eddie Bauer
It is
No Rachel has to shop
At the big man store for me
But they have sizes
They have different
But I always thought
That big man stores
Don't have cool shit
But that's actually cool.
The brand's called Big Feller.
No, no, no.
What is it?
Big Feller.
Fuck you.
It's actually called Good Feller.
See, I knew you.
You a fucking piece of shit.
So, no, no, no.
The big man's store, shout out to DXL.
Looking for my sponsorship.
Shout out to them.
Because what they do is, no, check this out. The big man store Shout out to DXL Looking for my sponsorship Shout out to them Because
What they do is
Check this out
The major companies
Like
Like Polo
Like all these things
They make
Big man sizes
Oh yeah
But they can't sell them
At necessarily the store
Because they would
Who buys them?
Right
You know so
What they do is
They have a
Also
It doesn't make sense
They have a store That they can send their brands to.
Great idea.
Yeah.
That's what the DXF store is.
Because let me tell you something, man.
That's a huge market.
It is.
But I mean, yeah.
It's a big market.
But it also is.
It's a big market.
Why, Brian?
America, bro.
Fucking Abbott and Costello over here.
But yeah.
You know what my wife got me for Christmas?
I don't know.
I mean, I'm waiting for an answer.
Same thing Dana White got his wife a slap to the face?
No.
And you deserve it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh.
What does it say?
I love that.
She get it from my boy?
It says Calvin.
Oh.
There's another one that says Calvin.
You want one that says Calvin?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so cool, right? Yeah. There's another one that says Calvin. You want one that says Calvin? Yeah. Yeah. So cool, right?
Yeah.
It's awesome.
That stuff makes me cry when they get me stuff with my kids on it.
Bro, don't think about you make me cry.
Don't think about you make me cry, dude.
I mean, I'll cry right now.
I cried the other day because of fucking our buddy.
Came to talk about it.
I started crying.
What do you got?
Speaking of DXL.
All right, let's do it.
Speaking of addictions. It right, let's do it. Speaking of addictions.
Go to the toilet.
Wow.
Nick's back, everybody.
Nick's riding rare form.
Hey, are there-
With the sound and electronics and everything.
Good job, Nick.
Hey, hold up, Nick.
Can you be addicted to marijuana?
Yeah.
They say not physically, but they say mentally.
You have to be.
Yeah, some people just function.
No, I don't care what people say.
Yes, marijuana is an addictive thing.
Yeah.
Whoever's saying it's not, that's just people making excuses.
Yeah.
I mean, there's functioning people who can smoke it, and then there's people like, there
was actually a guy that I met when I was there that was just addicted to fucking marijuana
every single day of his life for fucking 20-something years.
I mean, you know, he was, yeah.
And you could tell
did you make any friends lifelong but i have a question though what hey this is hey this place
was specific it wasn't for drug it was for it was for a an umbrella of things but oh okay yeah
no it was cell phone too yeah oh yeah i didn't have dude i don't have a phone i didn't have a
phone for for yeah weeks i didn't have my phone for over a month.
How do you feel?
You've been on it less already, which I've been noticing.
The first two weeks of no phone is tough, and then you're just like –
Were you shaking in the corner?
No.
I realize, though, I go to my phone because I don't want to sit in my thoughts.
Correct.
And it's – I had i i don't dude it's really hard
for me to not only feel my feelings but but even know what my actual feelings are like as a guy
you just jump to like anger a lot but that's not what it is anger is the secondary emotion you know
what i mean it's fear it's sadness it's whatever it is but as a guy you don't your instinct is to not feel those things you know not your instinct but your but your your
society tells you nah get mad get fired up you know but even in that process too the thing that's
messed up about that thought process is that because you're only thinking about yourself
and then what happens is when you don't want to deal with your own emotions, you don't even realize how your lack of emotions or things that you're dealing with, how it affects
the people around you because they also have emotions. And so if we're not even dealing with
our own self, it's hard to even try to deal with other people's things. But especially what we do,
like you got to come on here, you got to be silly, and then you do stand up. I've never been sadder
in my life than right now. Really?
100%.
Yep.
Oh, man.
Toughest time I've ever had.
Hands down.
But I'm good at it.
You know, I'm good at it.
So.
I think so.
I'm on here.
I got that doomsday reference.
I'm good, man.
I'll do stand-up on Thursday.
It's tough.
But anyway, so shout-out to anybody that has dealt with tragedy,
especially during the holidays
Because it magnifies it
So anyways
Yeah
What's this guy saying
On the toilet
Do you get your shit together
Yeah
Yeah let's move on
But you know we love you
Love you
Love you bro
I don't like you being sad
So love you
That's nothing
But no
But it's good to be sad
If you gotta
Gotta get through it
Alright
I just got a squeegee
In the background
Bro what is that?
What up, Nick, Chin, Brendan, Chris, Eric.
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
You so hot.
I got the text up.
I'm Martinez from Bronzeville, Texas, near Austin.
So, King Gitter's thinking, what do you think about all these motherfucking,
well, not King Sarsour Power,
what do you think about all these motherfucking new comedians and shit going down to Austin?
I fucking love it because the farthest I've ever been is Houston.
Like I said, I'm from Brownsville.
Damn, dog.
Brownsville, New York.
Sour Power.
Texas.
Austin, Texas.
Joe Rogan.
I want to go to Kill Tony.
Please help me get there.
Just go.
Just go.
Buy a ticket.
It's at the Vulcan.
I'll get you there.
Doing it every week.
First of all, I will say this.
I've done Kill Tony in Austin, and it is magical.
It's one of the best shows out there.
It's so fun.
Shout out to Tony.
It's really fun.
Red Band, David Lucas.
And people come from all over the place because we talk to people in the crowd, and they'll
be like, yeah, man, we drove three hours, and blah, blah, blah.
Ron White's there a lot.
Yeah, so that's fun.
It's fun.
But listen to me.
I'm saying this. I love everybody out there. I have a lot of friends. We love fun it's fun but listen to me i'm saying this i love everybody out
there i have a lot of friends but love rogan he's a friend the mecca of comedy is never going to be
in austin facts facts now it's gonna be a hub because we're right listen rogan could open up
a comic club in ukraine it'd be popping yes Yes, the thing with Rogan is he's going to be successful wherever he goes.
He could be in Ukraine, Iraq, Colombia.
He opens up a comic club and
you build it, they're going to follow. Look how many people
are already following him. You got Tim Dillon out there,
Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari
are always on the pod.
They're on at least once a month, if not twice
a month on his show, so they're going to be at the club
there. Then you have Dave Chappelle.
I think he's going to open up the first week or two for Rogan.
You have Joey Diaz.
We're talking about people that –
Like L.A., that live in cities, doing spots.
The people that you just mentioned are making a good amount of money,
and they can travel anywhere and do anything.
The question is, is that a spot where I'm a new comic,
should I move to Austin to try to be a comedian?
Maybe. Think who the cost of living.
Adam Eget. Adam Eget who ran
the comedy store so he's going to have Hotline.
We're not just talking about his club. We're talking about the comedy scene
in Austin.
It is a lower cost of living.
So I know a lot of people that are moving there
because of that. Taxes.
There's no state tax. So I can understand
how you're like a...
But what I'm saying is like, but don't make that be the only thing you do.
Why not?
Because –
Stand up.
If you're just trying to be a stand-up, you still – actually, you know what?
I retract because it's easier to travel from Austin.
You can get to New York in two hours.
It's in the middle.
You can get to LA in two hours.
It's like you're zipping around or whatever it is.
So I understand that being your base of operations, but I don't think
that that place is going to be like, this is
where comedy starts.
It's just a great place to live.
See, I think it's going to be a good hub
because you have New York obviously crushing it, LA
crushing it, but in the middle there,
Nashville's a little too small for it, but Austin
can be that because think about it. You've got Cap City out there,
great club. You've got Vulcan out there now.
You have Moon Tower Festival
out there
and then you have Rogan's Club
like there's a bunch of places
get a bunch of theaters
well we'll see if Rogan's Club
doesn't suck all the energy
out of that city
it won't
what do you mean by that
it's tough
because it's like
it's not a huge city
it's not a huge city
it's not like LA
what's the population of Austin
I see
like in LA
they have 200 people
there are three clubs
200
so you gotta sell 200 tickets
every night
there are three clubs a million almost that's not 200 tickets every night. There are three clubs.
A million, almost.
That's not a lot.
No, that ain't shit.
No, I know.
There's three clubs a mile away from each other in LA.
And they poppin'.
You know?
So what I'm saying is, like, I don't know if, like, the Vulcan went from a rock club,
they turned themselves into a comedy venue.
Right.
When Rogan clubs opened up, and he's going to have, like, two or three rooms in there.
You know, I'm sure, like, Kill Tony's going to move in there. I'm sure like Kill Tony is going to move over there.
I'm sure Red Band Show is going to move over there.
So I don't know.
Do they have enough comedians to sustain a nightly –
Like we do in L.A. and New York.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We'll see.
Maybe – yeah.
We'll see.
That's a good question.
Maybe not three clubs.
Well, there's more than just three clubs.
Unless it's like – A lot of clubs are opening.
Unless there's like 200-seaters and shit.
Even still, man.
That's tough.
How about this, though?
I think Cap City's only 250.
Look, I don't know even how it works in L.A.
I don't know how people do it in L.A.
When you're talking about, let's say you want to go see comedy.
You're a person like, I want to go out to comedy tonight.
Where can I go?
And then you look on these lineups and you go, oh, well, this
one guy I like to see, he's at three different
clubs tonight. Yeah, pick one up.
I know, but what I'm saying is like, that's
a thing that happens in LA,
but that person you're seeing might be somebody that's
like, oh, I saw that guy on this show.
I know him from this.
Do they have enough people like that in Austin?
No, yeah, probably not. Also,
LA has a lot of tourists, too.
A lot of people out of town.
Especially Lafayette.
A lot of people.
You'll laugh at you.
Depending on the night, you're like, oh, wow, everybody's from out of town.
I don't know.
We'll see.
Good luck.
I just think at least they have someone like Rogan.
Here's the thing.
The other—
Should be the foundation.
Here's the thing.
The other clubs, we're going to have to figure out. Rogan's clubs can be popping. The other clubs are going to thing the other clubs we're gonna have to figure out
Rogan's clubs
can be poppin'
the other clubs
are gonna be like
alright we need to figure
some shit out
at least for a while
I do the Creek in the Cave
that's a little club
it's a little club
I did that
I did Vulcan
Vulcan's great
you know it's gonna be tough
man
it's gonna be tough
to
pay setter
when is
when is
Jackie Robinson
when is Rogan's thing gonna open though I think I think they finally got it Oh, get in that big deal. Oh, wow. Pace setter. When is... Jackie Robinson of Austin. Oh.
When is Rogan's thing going to open, though?
I think they finally got it all.
When's Avatar 4 drop?
It's going to open.
Rogan's Club's been like Avatar.
They got it figured out.
Because when I was just there, I saw him.
Rogan's Club's like Toy Story 4.
He was telling me about, like, there's, like, an underground thing.
Well, here's the thing.
You know, it was kind of ready to go, and Louis C.K. came in,
because Rogan wanted to show him the club, Louis C.K. is like a comedy genius.
He was like, no, hold on.
You got to do this.
You got to change this.
You got to change this.
And he got with all the guys
and Rogan was like,
I don't care how long it postpones things.
Do what he says.
And then Louis added some stuff.
Interesting, really?
Changed some angles.
That's what Rogan told you?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Huh.
This guy had one more quick message at the end.
Let's do it, dude.
Oh, I was like, did we see this guy already?
If you see this, can you please tell Brian that he's old as shit?
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Brian's like, what?
Speaking of, guys, check me out in Greensboro, North Carolina.
When is this episode coming out?
This week?
Thursday, dog.
So next weekend, I'm going to be in North Carolina, Greensboro.
Come check me out at the Comedy Zone.
Greensboro, North Carolina.
My first time going there.
Oh, that'd be fun.
I'm in Vegas.
As you're listening to this, tonight, Thursday night, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday,
Vegas, Sin City.
Wise Guys, one of my favorite clubs.
Wise Guys, come on out.
I'll be touring around Zach Baggins' Haunted Museum.
I'll be checking out the fish aquariums.
I'm looking for a
Freshwater barracuda
But outside that
At night
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
I'm at Wise Guys Vegas
Come get you some
CES conventions going on
Get your nerdy asses
To the show
Come on down
Zach Baggins what?
Zach Baggins Haunted Museum
From Ghost Adventures
That's my buddy
Oh
I'm a ghost guy
I'm a ghost fish guy
It's complicated
But there are ghost fish yeah well if the fish die so there's definitely ghost fish
where is this vegas ever heard of it yeah yeah it's in vegas why uh wise guys keith from wise
guys open the club i thought you were going to paulie shore yes i thought you were going to utah
because that's the white guy
I know
I love Keith
he's my favorite
the best
the best
nobody else is into fishing
I hate to keep carping on it
I hate to keep carping on it
joke
fish
fish joke
you know
and they say I don't have punchlines
so you didn't write any jokes
while you were
no no
oh no
no joke
oh no
oh it didn't
get the comedy juices flowing in there?
You need to get back out there because.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know.
San Diego.
You're doing dad jokes.
Wait, let me ask you this, guys, before we move on.
So what's the plan?
Is there a process now?
Because once you get out, do they give you a, I don't know.
A plan of action?
Do they FaceTime you or some shit?
Yeah.
I do meetings all the time.
Shit like that.
Yeah. You remember how dramatic you got when I was like, did do meetings all the time. Shit like that. Yeah.
You remember how dramatic you got when I was like,
do you make any friends?
You're like, for life.
Remember that?
Like it was a movie?
It was.
It was like that Only the Strong.
Paranoe.
Paranoe.
Paranoe.
Paranoe.
You remember that?
Paranoe.
I don't.
Capoeira.
You don't know that shit?
No.
Is that from?
Only the Strong. I don't know. I thought that was Avatar. The Capoeira movie. The Capoeira movie. Oh, know that shit? No. Is that from... Only the Strong.
I don't know.
I thought that was Avatar 2.
The Capoeira movie.
The Capoeira movie.
Oh, no.
I missed that movie.
Do you want a war maestro?
You're going to get one.
Oh, that's Al Pacino.
And he goes like this.
Job interview's over.
Job interview's over, yes?
Because he's talking to him.
He's like, job interview's over, yes?
Do you want a war maestro?
You're going to get it.
And he walks away like that.
Do you know this movie?
I made it up.
I made up that whole thing.
No, it's a real movie.
It's an old movie.
I might have made all that shit up.
Only the Strong.
Look it up.
Look up Only the Strong.
Jobinterview's over.
Jobinterview's over.
Dude, it's the funniest fucking thing.
Oh, it's a fight movie.
See if you can find that.
Yeah. See if you can find that. Job if you can find that joe bean interviews over dude it's the funniest fucking thing um i guess you would say
only the strong interviews over see if you could do that bro the way the guy says it i did on my
podcast joe interviews years ago oh there it is the first one. There we go.
Why don't you let the kid go?
That's Brandon Lee.
Looks like him.
I just told you.
That's Morgan Freeman.
This is Family Matters.
None of your damn business.
Who is this?
First of all, I ain't a teacher.
Yep.
Second, I'm in a real shitty mood. This isn't it.
Oh!
Third, no law says I can't make it my business.
So let the kid go.
There are no laws.
Are you about to dance?
Oh.
Oh, it's a dance-off?
This is not the clip, but this is a dance-off?
We have to dress like those guys.
Brandon Lee's about to dance-off, or are they going to fight?
It's not Brandon. Yeah, it's Brandon Lee, guys. It's okay. Is that not Brandon Lee's about to dance off or are they going to fight? It's not Brandon.
Yeah, it's Brandon Lee, guys.
It's okay.
Is that not Brandon Lee?
It's not Brandon Lee.
My fucking LASIK, dude.
I thought this was Brandon Lee
versus Morgan Freeman.
Okay, well.
This was, wow.
That's not the fucking.
First of all,
if that's a scene from the movie.
I want to see more.
Let me just tell you right now.
I'm out.
Interview's over.
That's terrible.
All right, hit it, Nick.
I'm going to look it up.
Oh, there.
I think this is it.
That's Brandon Lee, dude.
Somebody put it up there because I was talking about Mark.
Turn up.
Hey, Santo. Yeah, this is it. Your interview is not over yet. Somebody put it up there because I was talking about my podcast. Turn up. Is that it?
Yeah, that's it.
Your interview is not over yet.
Yours was better.
Your interview.
Your interview not over yet.
Your interview is not over yet.
Your interview is not over yet.
Play it again.
Your interview is not over yet.
See, yours was better because your junterview is over.
Your beanterview.
Your beanterview is over. better because it was your jump your junk of you though you're being terb you job in the show I understand interview because they the V's are the bees but
Joe been terb you know you know what I know is that he had mrs. Deaton English
teacher same person that's what you have okay this guy interviews Oh interviews
over yeah say hi what's up golden. Joel here, just calling in from Utah.
I had a question or a topic for you.
I was born in 1980 and when I look back at my childhood, I feel like brands and mascots
were done so much better.
Oh, way better.
So I'm thinking mascots like the Noid with Domino's or California Raisins, Hardee's,
Spuds McKenzie, things like that.
It doesn't seem like they do that well anymore.
It seems like nowadays a place will just get matched up with a cartoon like Minions and just drive it into the ground.
Unless I hate on Minions.
No heart, no soul, nothing to remember.
So I was curious, when you guys look back at your childhoods, what brands or mascots do you remember?
Which ones do you think back at fondly?
Hey, Nick, that Nard Pop thing, would you send me a link to that?
I will buy that Noid right fucking now.
Why is that even up?
Why wouldn't it be?
$33.
But why is it up on here?
I just meant because the Noid was the pizza hut.
Because Noid was the pizza guy.
Also a great video game on Super Nintendo.
Oh, yeah, they did have a game on there.
That was one of my favorite games. then also when you bought cereal remember the cereal had a bunch
of cool characters on it when you bought raisin brand you could collect all four of those raisins
although it just looked like turds with eyes but i collected them um i'm trying to think what other
cool but here's the thing with mascots if he's talking about mascots like do you see the new
washington whatever the capitals were the commoners were, whatever they're called?
The Washington.
Are you talking about the football team, the commanders?
Yeah, that far right team.
The commanders, their mascot's awful.
Have you seen their new mascot, the pig?
It's just a pig.
Why?
They paid major bucks for someone to come up with this.
It's just like the Clippers one, the Condor.
But why is it, bless you, why is it the, don't sneeze,
but why is it the pig?
Commanders?
It doesn't make sense.
Oh, he's got, at least he's got.
It's all about the kids.
But he's got the helmet.
Why does he have arms like Big George?
Yeah, that's weird.
You just got it, Nick.
It's like he lost a lot of weight.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
Is that fucked up?
Yeah.
Oh, George fights this weekend, by the way.
Saturday, George, tall George, keto George fight at the Commerce in Commerce City Casino
this Saturday, 5 p.m.
Get tickets.
My boys, I put them in this ALTA program.
No, it's like Joe's to pros.
They train for 30 weeks in mixed martial arts, and they give them a smoker fight.
They're doing an amateur fight.
So there's certainly like- MMA. Jesus. Joe's tooster he was trying to get me to do this shit yeah what the
fuck so they fight and like punch yeah they fight each other dude jesus christ well you want in i'll
get you i got an opponent no vince vaughn wants to do it i'll do it but yeah their fight commerce
city casino this saturday in california 5 p.m. Get your tickets. George, tall George.
His brother was a sick around draft pick,
and he's the best player on the Denver Broncos.
That boy's athletic.
Somebody getting fucked up.
You're going to want to be there.
Well, what's – so, all right.
Can we get back to –
Sorry, mascots.
Rocky for the win.
The Denver Nuggets mascot.
Highest paid mascot.
That's what he was asking about?
Really?
At mascots from –
Like from your childhood and shit.
Why would you pay a mascot Any more than just
What's the mascot for the Rocky
You've never seen Rocky
Shoot from half court then
Oh okay
They have talent
Okay I didn't know
Well Rocky does
Wrestlemania
Right right right
He just flips and shit
Well you know what
A comic friend
Well R.I.P. to him
Siddiqui Fuller
He started as a mascot
Oh that makes sense
He was
Do all that shit.
Yeah, yeah.
For Phoenix, I believe.
Oh, the gorilla?
No.
He used to be.
Not the gorilla.
It wasn't Phoenix.
He's black, but yeah.
Well, no, that's the mascot.
He could do backflips and all that kind of stuff.
He became a comic.
As far as, well, I'm trying,
but he's not talking about sport mascots.
He's talking about cartoon mascots when we were kids.
Could be anything, serial mascot. For me, it was probably, if I think back to my childhood, it was probably just like, it was Ronald McDonald. mascots he's talking about like like cartoon mascots when we're kids cereal mascot for me
it was probably just if I think back to my childhood it was probably just like it was
Ronald McDonald the one the Hamburglar yeah those kind of things yeah grimace and those
kind of stuff those were like they used to have really I don't know yeah the noid was the shit
I don't know it was my thing yeah but they don't have do they what are they now they're like it's
like the fucking the Affleck thing and then the Geico lizard. The guy, that one's not good.
But on cereal now
because they can't market to kids all the sugar,
they've gotten rid of them. Like Lucky Charms.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
On a box of Lucky Charms.
It's Jordan Peterson on Frosted Flakes.
Billions of marshmallows. Billions and billions of
Lucky Charms.
Yeah, that's true. They did stop.
They stopped doing a lot of stuff from my childhood.
Well, they don't even do the – remember the surprise and the thing?
You just put your hand in and get the toy out?
They stopped doing that.
Did I tell you how I got scared out of my mind because, like, I had a –
there was a spider ring in some popsicles.
Oh, yeah, when you were a kid?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's why they did that kind of stuff.
Yeah, that was cool.
It was fun.
It's just a box of candy if you think about it.
My go-to would be Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles.
Love Fruity.
Captain Crunch.
Captain Crunch.
Captain Crunch would fuck up your mouth.
Yeah, it's too much.
Right?
And what was the other one that was just like Captain Crunch but it was...
Captain Crunch and Berries?
Captain Crunch.
No, there was another one that was the same kind of like...
Were basically razor blades, yeah.
Hey, Gaff, you're a pussy.
Fruity blades.
That's why you guys are so soft, dude.
That's probably why I'm so soft.
You remember the one big ass wheat thin?
Remember the front?
Oh, my God.
It was just like a block.
You'd shit your pants.
It had like powdered sugar on the other side.
Oh, those were lit.
Frosted, yeah.
Frosted flake?
Not frosted flake.
No.
Frosted mini-wheats. Frosted mini-wheats.
Frosted mini-wheats, baby.
But then you could just get one block like a brick of no frosting.
Thank you, man.
What are you talking about?
Raisin Bran was lit with extra raisins.
I can't.
People that.
Fucking 90?
Yeah.
Raisin Bran.
Raisin Bran.
There was another one that was just like the things that messed up your mouth.
There was another one that was just like it.
I don't know that one.
Clusters was my shit.
It had a frog.
The frog smash?
Sugar smash.
Sugar smash.
Honey smacks, right?
That didn't fuck you.
Isn't it honey smacks?
Honey smacks.
It started with sugar smacks, but they-
Sugar smacks.
They're terrible, too.
It was a weird texture.
Do you remember when they did Lucky?
This was so lit.
When they did Lucky Charms, marshmallows only for a limited time?
For a kid who was addicted to sugar?
Lucky Charms. I can't wait till my mom's not paid. Lucky Charms only? Always had marshmallows only for a limited time? For a kid who's addicted to sugar? Lucky Charms.
I can't wait till my mom's not paid.
Always had marshmallows.
No, no, no. It was marshmallows mixed with the bullshit like cereal?
Just marshmallows. Oh, Jesus.
Your boy was lit off sugar.
Wow. I have to go to rehab for that.
Wow. Yeah, 10-step program.
Yeah, I'm
telling you, as you get older, for me now, it's oatmeal.
Yeah, you got it.
Just a little bit of honey.
Or Cheerios, maybe a little bit.
But I don't even do Cheerios.
Cheerios are nasty.
You have to get the honey nut Cheerios.
And put extra honey on them.
No, no, no.
You're not getting nothing.
Big fella.
No.
No big fella.
Big fella.
Yeah, that's right.
Just have half and half.
Half Cheerios, half Honey Nut Cheerios.
Oh, when you're trying to pretend.
I like that.
I can't eat any sugar because my teeth have cavities, so it's cool.
Yeah, but I'm oatmeal now.
I don't even buy cereal anymore because the cereal I have to buy is like, what am I doing?
This is stupid.
It's too healthy now.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just like the cereal is supposed to be delicious.
But have you ever had Magic Spoon?
You ever had Magic Sp delicious you ever had magic spoon
like the keto cereal
with low sugar
yeah
they try to mimic like
you know
some of the fancier cereals
it's actually pretty good
no no I don't like that
that's like vegan food
no no
that's what I'm saying
I went to the store
I got like
you know
air one
one of these fancy places
that Rachel likes to shop
$90
and I'm like
alright let me try this
organic whatever cereal
that looks like
Lucky Charms or whatever, right?
I tried it, and I was like, I wanted to take the bowl.
It's horrible.
Right?
And throw it.
You know what I mean?
And I was like, you know what?
I'm not going to do this.
Let me not.
I just don't eat cereal.
It's too much sugar and whatever, so eat something else.
So now I'm just doing oatmeal.
Yeah, my kids don't even fuck with cereal.
Wow, that's good.
It's nasty, though.
When you don't eat sugar for a long time, and then you
have a lot of it,
I don't drink soda anymore.
Regular soda. Yeah, stop doing that.
Hold on. You don't even drink diet?
I'll have Coke Zero when I'm on a plane.
Hell yeah. With United. I always get the Coke Zero.
But what I'm saying is, when you have a regular
soda, now, when I taste
just a sip of regular soda,
I'm like, what?
I feel like I'm drinking
diabetes.
The only thing I fuck with these days
is sugar is ice cream. Because it doesn't have to hit my teeth,
I can just swallow it. I love ice cream.
Remember Hawaiian Punch?
Oh, damn!
Oh, I love me some ice cold
Hawaiian Punch. That shit has, I think,
65 grams of sugar in it.
You know what that stuff has in it?
Magic.
Yeah, even that was too sugary.
As a kid, I couldn't.
Oh, we wouldn't have been friends as a kid.
Yeah, I couldn't drink wine.
I don't think they sell it anymore.
I don't know if they can get away with it.
People are so health conscious right now.
You can't look at something and you look at the back of it and you're like, what?
I think they still do Hawaiian punch.
And then when you're in Texas, Big Red.
Oh, I haven't had that.
Oh.
Hawaiian Punch was lit.
Looks like they have it at Vons.
Little Hawaiian Punch and vodka?
What's up?
Look at that.
11 grams of sugar.
Per serving, though.
How many servings?
One teaspoon.
There's 40 servings in that.
What's it say?
Calories? It's probably eight ounces. That shit is lit. though how many servings one teaspoons there's 40 servings in that what's it say calories probably
eight ounces that shit is lit oh it is lit but i don't drink it not now not just makes you feel
sick all right we got one more before the as promised uh sandwich okay well now crew this
is keaton from nashville i got the bait club for y'all this week. Should Dana White step down from the UFC after slapping his wife down in Cabo?
He acts like there was no excuse, but it was obviously very aggressive.
And it doesn't seem like that may have been his first time getting into an altercation with her.
So should he be reprimanded for that?
Should there be a further investigation?
What are y'all's thoughts?
I would love to hear them.
Thanks for everything y'all do. Peace. Love y'all's thoughts? I would love to hear them. Thanks for everything y'all do.
Peace.
Love y'all.
Woo-woo-woo.
Hold up.
Hold up.
What happened?
Seems like a nice guy.
I don't know about this.
So, Dave, I'll fill you in.
You guys go first, and I'll go last.
By the way, before we even go further, guys, I love that the woo-woos are still out there.
It's still a thing.
Yes.
We're going to have woo-woo awards by the end of the year.
Oh, that's amazing.
I like that idea.
Best woo-woos.
So keep sending in your woo-woo.
Woo-woo merch coming your way.
Go to airgryphon.com.
So I'll fill you in.
So Dana White got caught on video.
He's in Mexico.
So let me set the scene.
He's in Mexico
with his friends and family.
They're at a club.
He says something to his wife.
They've been together
for like 26 years.
They've known each other since they were 12 years old
Oh wow
Then they have three kids together
Just give me some backstory
Okay
So he says something to her
So they're drinking
Apparently he says they were drunk
They're drinking
He leans over and says something to her
I don't know what he's
I think he was like
I think she was like
I'm a fan of Brendan Schaub
And then next thing you know
And then next thing you know
So she hits him first And then she hits him And then next thing you know, and then next thing you know, so she hits him first,
and then she hits him,
and then he hits her.
She knocks down,
and then it looks like he kicked her too.
Okay.
Play it.
Let me see if I did a good play-by-play there.
Turn it lower, lower.
So look, they're chilling, they're drinking.
She's mad, mad obviously he says something
boom and look boom and then watch this boom boom two hits he pushes her and then there's a kick
there fuck
well if you go back not that we're trying to do a play-by-play.
If you go back, actually what happened here is he said something to her that was really – that inspired her.
See her?
In Cinderia, yeah.
You know, I have close sources that I think he said, I'm thinking about giving Francis Ngannou the money he deserves.
And she was like, hell no. You're a goosh. And then she was like, I'm thinking about giving Francis Ngannou the money he deserves. And she was like, hell no.
You're a goosh. And then she was
like, I'm a Brendan Shaw fan. I'm feeling like you're enjoying this.
You know what? I'm not. I'm feeling like you're enjoying this.
No, I promise I'm not. I won't dogpile
on it. You are!
It's top of the show, so I'm going to go.
It's news. It is news. This is
what's weird, and this is that Dana's
he's very fortunate
in an unfortunate situation.
This would be everywhere if last night during the Buffalo Bills game –
and was it Bills?
Who was it?
Bills and Cincinnati.
So if that player didn't basically almost die on the field,
because that's covering the news cycle.
So Dana's news comes out now, but it's getting buried.
I will say this.
I don't condone hitting women in any facet ever.
And I know people out there are like, she hit him first.
Doesn't matter.
It's a female.
He's bigger, stronger.
He's on TRT.
Shouldn't have hit her.
But I do appreciate the way he handled it.
He was like, listen.
And his wife came out and said a statement too.
So if she's fine with it, he's fine with it.
Nobody's hurt.
They've talked to their kids about it.
It's a private thing
i don't condone any of it i'm just curious if this were to happen let's say roger goodell did this
um you know another owner mark cuban did this another owner of any team or a coach of a team
or a player of any of any other team or if a ufc fighter say you saw i don't know francis gano do
this his girl they would never work again.
Well, I disagree with you because Kareem Hunt is playing football.
But was there any disciplinary action?
That's my point.
All I'm saying to you is that you said they'd never play again,
and I'm saying no, they will.
Well, I shouldn't have said never play again.
There's going to be some disciplinary action.
I don't think there's going to be discipline here.
No, but what would the discipline be?
Who's over him?
Well, he's the owner, yeah.
No, he's not the owner.
He's not the owner.
Oh, shit.
Well, when did this happen, by the way?
Ari Emanuel.
This came out today.
Oh, shit.
Or last night.
Whenever the fucking thing comes out.
It just hit the news cycle now, but it was reported on Monday.
This is what I have to say about it, okay?
I'm not going to sit here and pretend to outrage because I don't do that.
So
they were drinking.
They were drinking. They were having
a conversation. It looks like
they shouldn't have been having it in public.
Somebody was filming because
he's famous and
that thing got out of hand
and then these two people are now coming out
later being like, look, this is our private business.
We don't know what he said to her to inspire her to be like that.
And we don't,
you know,
you know what I mean?
And he got lost control of himself.
Take accountability for that.
Both of them need to take accountability.
He didn't do the right thing.
She didn't do the right thing.
Yeah.
She hit him too.
But what,
so what is the,
what is the,
did he say anything about it yet?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
And shit.
Yeah. He was like'm sorry and shit?
Yeah, he was like, there's no excuse.
Men should never hit women.
We've been together, whatever, 26 years.
And even his wife was like, this is out of character for him.
He's never touched me in 26 years.
We have children.
We've talked to the children, told them this isn't right.
It's a private matter.
Please respect that.
Of course, people aren't because they're famous.
Right.
So if she's good with it, she's not hurt.
He's not hurt.
They talk to their kids. That's their deal. I don't, listen, if there's good with it, she's not hurt, he's not hurt, they talk to their kids, that's their deal.
Listen, if there's no disciplinary action, that's whatever ESPN,
Mickey Mouse, and Ari Emanuel's issues, not mine.
I'm not asking for that guy to be canceled.
That's his private issue.
Right.
That's what I want with most things, whatever's going on.
If there's a big thing and it's a private issue, that's their issue.
But what if she leaned over and said, those aren't your kids.
They're Brendan Schaub's kids.
It's something like that.
That's what I've heard from a close source.
Here's the deal, though.
I'm just saying, I don't think you should ever hit anyone.
Yeah. I heard he would.
Especially a woman.
But, like, is that?
Well, yeah.
How close did you get?
Nobody should ever hit anyone. And then also. On both sides, though. Like, I don't., yeah. How close did you get? Nobody should ever hit anyone.
And then also.
On both sides, though.
Like, I don't like.
Now, it doesn't justify.
It doesn't justify him hitting her in any facet.
But it's not right she hit him.
There's guys that get abused all the time, too.
That's the way he wants to talk about it.
Right.
But.
Is that a reach?
Yes.
It's a reach.
Dude, remember that Doomsday call, though?
Yeah, it was good. Killed Superman. It's a reach. Do you remember that Doomsday call, though? Yeah, it was good.
Kill Superman.
It's a reach.
Remember him?
He was obeying, killed him.
Stupid Batman.
I fucked up.
But you know what it is?
It's like we don't understand.
Shout out to Dax Shepard who said this on his podcast.
It's like, man, we don't get it because we have to think of it like this.
If we were in an elevator with a gorilla, it's the only way to really understand.
I mean, Dana's not that strong. Compared to her? No. Well, I know a gorilla. It's the only way to really understand. I mean, Dana's not that strong.
Compared to her? No.
Well, I know a gorilla. Come on, man.
The analogy works fine.
A gorilla? You know how intense that is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the feeling
that like, listen, man,
you can't be hitting your wife.
I would never. I know, but what I'm saying
is even if you got drunk or whatever it is.
She's Mexican, but has a good job.
Something happened and she's like, hey, Dana White went down on me.
You might have the feeling.
I'd be like, did you film it?
Let's get some money.
But what I'm saying is in the position that you're in, not talking about fame or whatever,
I'm saying as an ex-fighter.
Your skill set.
Yeah, your skill set.
It's like it becomes even more like the disparity of like, hey, no matter what.
So there are people out there that no matter what happens, no matter what they do, you have to find a way to like get out of it.
Like Jay-Z in the elevator.
Yes.
He hit her?
No, Jay-Z was like.
Oh, she hit him.
Or Beyonce's sister beat his ass.
That's right.
That's right.
Reportedly, she caught him cheating on her sister.
She beat his ass.
And then he was just like trying to block it.
Yeah, he's like, you know.
He can't fight.
But I mean like at a certain – yeah.
He was just like –
You know what I mean?
It's like it's crazy.
But in there's security right there.
It's like, you know.
But you know Dana's not a fighter in any facet, right?
I know, but I was like –
He's not trained, nothing.
I know, but it was like that was like a visceral reaction he
had that it's just like he should have some
remorse for and regret. It sounds like he does.
And he does. But in the culture we live in
everyone's like, you know, obviously people hate Dan, especially
the left, right? So they're like, we gotta get
this guy out of here. It's like, do we?
Do we? Don't we have bigger problems to solve?
If the person who was hit, if she's fine
with it, the kids are fine with it, it's a
private matter. Well, I mean, fine with it, it's a private matter.
Well, I mean, things are private until they're not private.
And when things become un-private.
That should have been private, though.
Let me just say this.
You have to be accountable for your actions and the repercussions that they have with other people.
So, yes, it's a private matter with them.
I get that.
But he is a public figure.
This is public. And it is a big man hitting a woman so i am still okay with people being a being like hey we can't just let this go
i'm okay like it's not the excuse is not hey she's okay with it that's not enough no i agree because
there's there's victim mentality where yeah yeah she might be scared i'm with you on that i know
i'm saying.
It's for the people out there.
It's for the guys out there.
We can't just have everybody being like, hey, we were drunk and we're okay with it, so I smacked my wife.
I agree.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like, yes, I think it is important for him to come out and be like, look, I don't condone this.
I made a huge mistake.
That's exactly what he said.
You know what I mean?
But I tweeted that out.
I made a joke because he has a slap fighting league so when i came i went i said i
said i thought this was an embedded uh for his new slap fight league some people thought it was funny
they're like how dare you make light of this situation and then when he issued his apology
owning it i was like listen you know all jokes aside this he did handle this right people like
oh you're condoning him in there i'm'm like, no. I'm condoning.
You can't win.
Oh, no, I don't give a fuck.
You can't win.
I was just like, no, I agree with how he's taking accountability.
But you can never hit a woman.
Yeah.
Unless she's bigger than you.
What?
Right?
Unless she's what?
Bigger?
If she's bigger.
Who's bigger than you?
Oh, dude.
There's some.
Women bigger than you?
Yeah, my buddy Justin loves them big.
I've never seen a woman bigger than you.
Really?
Yeah, I don't think so.
What are you, 6'4"?
Yeah, Brittany Griner.
She's taller than you.
She went through a Russian prison cell.
This is actually an interesting question.
Oh, like me and her, it'd be a fight.
Brittany Griner walks up to me and punches me in my face.
It's like, I can't punch this bitch back.
I can't double like a bitch?
I can't get into a, it's can't double like a bitch? I can't get it to a...
It's a lose-lose.
You know?
Yeah.
Ricky Garner's like 6'6", or something like that.
205.
A professional athlete.
Like, if Serena Williams, who's jacked, pushed you down...
Yeah, but I don't know if she's...
She's jacked.
Is she?
Oh, dude.
But isn't she like 5'4", or something like that? No, no, no. No, no, no. I've seen her. I's – She's jacked. Is she? Oh, dude. But isn't she like 5'4 or something like that?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I've seen her.
I've been in her dressing room.
She's one of the biggest freak athletes I've ever seen.
Who?
Serena Williams.
Oh.
She's jacked.
Yeah, she is.
Yeah, she is.
I know we're running long.
I've got to get Eric's thing on this.
I know you don't watch sports because that's okay.
I know.
Maybe hit the showers for this one.
But you saw the hit last night with the Buffalo Bills?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's terrible.
And now the rumor was that the commission and stuff were like,
all right, we're going to give the teams five minutes
and then start when we're playing again.
I heard the coaches were like, fuck you.
Did they finish the game?
No, absolutely not.
Just so you know, routine hit.
Not like we've seen bigger hits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they're—and obviously it's just people alluding to this.
They think the way it hit his chest.
It's happened with WB, you guys remember?
When it hits the chest, the heart—it does something to the heart where it stops pumping.
So literally on the field, six minutes.
Broke his ribs.
Fuck.
Resuscitated him.
He got a pulse finally, now he's in a critical condition
with a pulse but it's it's not great well they don't know they haven't released any information
yet it's just look football was footballing last night and it's just like a reminder that you know
that's the exception though i know i know but but even but even still like that they're actually
it actually isn't an exception because we know about it, but there are a lot of football players who are dealing with injuries and CTE.
Yeah, because it comes on later.
I know, but I'm saying they're dealing with this stuff that most of the public don't hear about
or honestly don't care about.
We see this one because it was on a national stage
and this terrible thing happened that's outside of the norm.
But these football players are dealing with a lot of stuff.
So listen, from the golden hour, our hearts go out to him and his family,
and we hope for a speedy recovery.
I hope that he survives so he can also just – because this is what we all need too.
We all need him from his bed to be like, carry on, guys.
Because you know what I mean?
That'll help a little bit.
It will.
Yeah.
But I mean –
Because that's what they need.
And I also get like Skip Bayless, the guy from the Fox.
He was just saying the thing about –
It was too soon, bro.
See, I didn't think his tweet was that bad.
It was too soon.
He said way worse things.
No, no, no, but it was too soon.
See, I didn't think it was that bad.
He said something about how it was too –
he shouldn't –
the game matters too much right now because of the –
It was too soon.
Playoff implications.
Listen, he was correct. It's just
too soon. He could have done it today.
I think he's done worse tweets than that.
You know, Shan Sharp didn't show up on the show today.
He was so pissed. Because of that? Yes.
Shan Sharp is a football player who has...
I'm from Denver. Shan Sharp's the football player.
It's like, bro, this isn't the time.
That wasn't the time to say that. He was
correct. This is a big deal.
This is a lot of implications in terms of, like, the playoffs and all this kind of stuff.
And there are a billion dollars on the line all the time.
So, yes, people's, you know, jobs and there's a lot of stuff going on.
There's a time and place to say this kind of things.
It wasn't right after this shit happened.
Well, this is why Twitter's fucked up because you just say whatever the fuck you think and don't filter it.
Skip Bayless is, like, becoming, like becoming the most hated man in sports, man.
He can't catch a fucking break.
Now, it's his own fault, but man.
Wait, he says something.
He's saying some heat.
Really?
He's the Brendan Schaub of the NFL.
This dude is just getting it.
No, dude.
You're just...
That's not the same.
Oh, no.
Who's that guy?
I'm being silly.
This is the guy that happened to.
That's the guy who's...
But he started a toy drive via Christmas, and GoFundMe,
he was trying to raise $2,500 for his toy drive,
and people started tweeting out the link,
and just last night they over $5 million.
Now, I would be willing to bet, you know,
I have some history with Buffalo Bills.
I would bet 80% of that is from the Buffalo Bill fan base.
Green Bay might be close.
There's not another fan base as loyal as the Buffalo Bills do.
They're nutso's.
Yeah.
But anyways, like I say, I hope this guy survives.
Me fucking too.
And then I hope they continue to work on player safety.
But again, it's a violent sport.
There's not much else you can do.
Yeah, that's the thing I think people need to realize.
And this is when people are like, oh, whatever, Dex Prescott's holding out
or this guy's holding out for money.
Yeah, man, because there is a chance this can happen.
Now how do you feel about when you're mad at the guy for holding out of camp
because he wants more pay?
They want more pay and guaranteed money because this stuff can fucking happen.
Or if you didn't see that, this is the exact moment like last night.
In a few years, there could be some other injuries.
That's why these guys, that's why football players never get mad
at other football players for holding out. get yours man take care of your family
get your money now let me play devil's advocate this is i'm not saying this is gonna happen let's
say it did i think people are gonna learn a lesson from nfl and how cutthroat professional sports is
let's say he were to pass away heaven forbid i don't think it's gonna happen i hope he lives
they pass away do they continue this season?
Yeah, they will.
Yeah, they will.
They definitely will.
People are going to learn that.
The NFL keeps on keeping.
But I mean –
Because the billions of dollars.
But I'm saying it's like you're a player like that.
Isn't that horrible?
You're a player like that.
You know that you're putting yourself at risk.
They do take a serious risk playing this ball.
No one thinks that's going to happen.
Of course not.
They don't think –
They probably all think they're not going to get hurt either,
even in small injuries. That's pretty crazy. But they're that's going to happen. Of course not. They probably all think they're not going to get hurt either, even in small injuries.
That's pretty crazy.
They're going to have to figure out, but I'm sure they're going to get together and then
they're going to have to find a way
to carry on. But last night wasn't
the time for Skip Bayless' tweet.
It wasn't the time.
I don't believe that the NFL was like, hey, let's keep going.
No, no, no. I think they were all in.
They're very aware of optics. Correct. They're very aware of what this looks like. And I was like, hey, let's keep going. No, no, no. I think they were all in. They're very aware of optics.
Correct.
They're very aware of what this looks like.
And I was like, no, we can't go on.
Like, if the dude would have been awake in the ambulance and he was like, go win it for me.
Then they would have been out there like they would have done it.
But they didn't have that.
The dude was unconscious.
They had to do CPR.
They had to like whatever they did.
Was he dead at all?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
He was dead for a while. He had to resuscitate him. He had to resuscitate. Was he dead at all? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. He was dead for a while.
They had to resuscitate him.
They had to resuscitate him.
It's the worst injury I've ever seen.
Now, growing up playing football and watching football all my life,
there's been injuries where I've seen where a guy broke his neck
and paralyzed for the rest of his life, and they kept on keeping on.
This is just different.
Dominic Foxworthy on ESPN today was talking about he played on a team
where a dude died in the locker room.
This kind of stuff happens.
We just don't hear about it and see it because it's not on a national scale.
And if you run a business like that that sells violence,
you don't want people thinking about this.
How many moms last night made a firm decision,
oh, my kid's never playing football?
Yeah, yeah, a ton of them.
And then all day on ESPN today, this is all they're talking about?
I had to turn it off.
What I'm saying is they are making a – they need to think about that, too.
There's going to be a certain point where business is going to be back to normal, and they're going to be like, damn.
There's a lot of people who are, like, right now at home going, my kid is never playing a contact sport.
Dude, my son, he just signed up.
He played football last year.
He's playing – we just signed up for football.
It starts end of January. Last night that happened. He was still up. He's like, year. We just signed up for football. It starts end of January.
Last night that happened.
He was still up.
He's like, Daddy, what happened?
Why are they stopping the game?
I'm like, that dude got really hurt.
He's like, how hurt?
I'm like, his heart stopped working on the field.
I had to resuscitate him.
I'm like, he's in trouble, buddy.
I'm playing football.
This is going to hit high school, college, lower levels, football right now.
They're going to have to look at themselves and really be like,
damn, is this worth it?
You know?
And you know what the answer is?
Yes.
Well, it won't stop.
The juice is worth the squeeze.
Billions and billions and billions of dollars.
It also does more for children and kids and people than it does harm.
I understand.
Don't get it twisted.
Like, this is the exception.
They're out of gangs and shit, and they're doing drugs.
Yeah, it gives them purpose, gets a lot of kids to college.
They stay out of trouble.
Like football is fucking fantastic.
You guys want to eat some sandwiches?
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, please.
Let's switch it up.
There's no tomato on it though.
Yeah, I'm allergic to bread.
There's three different sub places and they're all as close as I could get to the Mike's
number seven, the Jersey Mike's number seven Mike's way.
Hey, can I say this, though?
I'm not exactly a sub connoisseur.
Wait, wait, wait.
Put the thing.
Hey, I'm not a sub.
We're seeing these.
No, I don't know what sub connoisseur is.
I'm not a sub connoisseur.
I don't know what sub connoisseur is.
I don't know subs that well, so I assume Chris.
Oh, no, you want a blindfold?
We're all wearing blindfolds.
Blindfolds make it funnier.
Come on, Doug.
Come on.
And what do we do?
And what do we do?
We eat it, and then what's the...
Try to guess which place it is and then rank them by your favorite.
Hey, but Nick, can you do me a solid and name like five places?
Yeah.
I know like Subway, Jimmy John's.
Jersey Mike's.
Jersey Mike's.
So do this now?
There's probably no blimpy out here.
Do this one right now?
Yes.
Oh my God, it's a sandwich.
What are we doing now?
You gotta say what sandwich it is.
He has to prove that he knows it's from Jersey Mike's.
Yeah, hell yeah. And see if you guys think
Jersey Mike's is your favorite.
Okay.
You can't eat the whole thing because then you're going to be full
and the last sandwich is not going to taste as good because of that.
Okay, I ate that one. Is there another one in front of me?
Yeah, no, it's coming.
Alright. That first one is not going to taste as good because of that. Okay, I ate that one. Is there another one in front of me? Yeah, it's coming. That first one
is not Jersey Mike's.
First one was Subway. Yeah, that's what I think.
I didn't taste a Jared sandwich anyway.
No, that wasn't Subway. That first one was not Subway.
It might have not been.
This one tastes like Jared from
Subway because it smells like kids.
Alright, hold on.
I could use a Diet Coke to swish my mouth around.
I like that one.
Second one was good.
All right, third one?
Third one for you right now.
Mm.
Take the tomato off of it.
That second one is lit.
Yeah, I know.
The last one.
Okay.
That second one was fucking tasty.
Second one's the best.
Second one's Jersey Mike's.
First one's Subway, second Jersey.
The first one was not Subway.
That's right, your girl.
Third one's Subway.
Turn it around.
Second one's Jersey Mike's.
First one is...
I don't know what the fuck that first one was.
That first one was like Blimpy's or something.
I think Mark made it.
It's not Blimpy's.
They had the third one.
Yeah.
Oh, no, I know Blimpy's from a mile away.
It's from the bread.
I think the last one was Subway.
Hold on.
Let me try the last one.
The last one was Harley's.
Harley's.
Harley's sandwiches?
The question mark?
Which one was Jersey Mike's?
So you guys have tried them all?
We'll go down the line.
Chris, go first.
What order do you think you had and what were the best?
Jersey Mike's was number two.
That was the best one.
Subway was number three.
Number one, I don't know.
Jimmy John's?
I don't know what it is.
I don't know. Okay. Brandon? Subway, number three. Number one, I don't know. Jimmy John's? I don't know what it is. I don't know.
Okay.
Brandon?
Subway, number three.
Number two, Jersey Mike's.
Are we supposed to still be private?
And number one.
If you want.
And number one was Jersey Mike's.
I said Jersey Mike's, Subway.
What's another fucking one?
I said, what did I say?
Jimmy John's.
Jimmy John's.
Yeah.
Number one's Jimmy John's. Number two's Jersey Mike's, number three's Subway.
Fuck y'all.
What was your favorite?
Number two was fantastic.
Two and three.
Everybody said Jersey, yep, you guys all had them right, and Jersey Mike's did win the
taste test, but we also love Jimmy John's.
We love Jimmy John's.
Oh, I like Jimmy John's.
Is that number one?
Yeah.
Yeah, Jimmy John's is great.
Honestly, the only reason why I didn't, I would have put more mayo on it.
Oh, we're sorry.
There is a smaller sandwich from Jimmy John's, seeing all three next to him.
But I knew it.
I told you I'd know it, and I know it.
Which one's the hot one?
There's no hot one here.
We've had them all.
Is that Quiznos?
Which one gives you the hot meat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Quiznos, yeah.
Quiznos, yeah.
And I'm glad we had blindfolds on.
Nothing's getting them watching a man take down a footlong sub.
Why is there a thing here all of a sudden?
Oh, that's mine.
Oh.
Yeah, bro.
I told you I'd know it.
I knew it.
And that's it.
Wait, which one did you know he was going to know?
Jersey Mike was the one I said I would always be able to tell Jersey Mike.
He said he would know Jersey Mike's number two.
Oh.
And he said it was his favorite.
And everybody said it was their favorite.
Hey, elephant in the room, that last one, Subway, was kind of fire.
Am I right?
I know your wife works there.
This is the one I didn't really.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, you're talking about that first one.
The first one was a little too plain for me.
No, Jimmy John's is good.
They didn't put mayo on it.
If you put mayo on it, yeah.
No, thank you.
Hey, Nick, how did you get all the sandwiches all the same,
made all the same?
Yeah, I tried to get them.
Is there mayo on the number seven at Jersey Mike's?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, take it up with the employee.
I think they do oil and vinegar.
Oh, got it.
Okay, then I get it with mayo then.
Okay.
There's also, they didn't have pepper at Jimmy John's.
Got it.
So it's just tomato, provolone, lettuce, tomato, oil, vinegar, pepper.
What was the last one?
Well, I haven't had carbs in six days.
Oh, yeah. I did it for the show. I haven't had carbs in six days. Oh, yeah.
I did it for the show.
I haven't had carbs in six days.
It is very Subway.
But for you, man, we did it.
That's it.
Man, we called it.
Shout out to Jersey Mike's.
We called it.
And Jimmy John's.
Shout out to Jimmy John's.
Well, this big fellow will be in Vegas this Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
And then after that, January 20th and 21st, I'm in Tampa. Tampa Improv. Come
get you some. I'm in Springfield, Missouri. Never even heard of it, but I think the Simpsons
are based out of there. Let's do it, baby. Greensboro, North Carolina. Next weekend.
That's it. Chrisley.com. I got Daytona, Lakeland, Jacksonville, San Diego this weekend.
You're in San Diego this weekend?
Uh-huh.
You've sold 40,000 tickets.
No, not that many.
My friend Brian can't sell 1,000.
I know, but –
You son of a bitch.
And then also other places too, like Rhode Island and New York and Chicago.
So let's do it.
Chris Lee.com.
I'm glad the gang's back.
Thanks, guys.
Love you, buddy.
Proud of you.
Love you.
We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Let's do it. I'm glad the gang's back. Thanks, guys. Love you, buddy. Proud of you. Love you.
We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about.
But that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah.
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour