The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 600 - Live! Dave Hughes, Aaron Chen, Nazeem Hussain, Danielle Walker, Cameron James.

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

Wow, the milestone episodes just keep coming. It's our 600th EPISODE recorded LIVE in front of a packed out Athenaeum Theatre! Tommy does some crowd work in the nose bleeds, NAZEEM HUSSAIN helps us fix up our signage, CAMERON JAMES has a new job to tell us about, DANIELLE WALKER dips into more of her family archive, AARON CHEN rips us apart on his home ground, DAVE HUGHES comes face to face with a disgruntled audience member, PLUS there's RAD DAD and a callback to the Jazz Man which actually pays off. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new 600th episode recorded live at the Athenaeum Theatre with guests Dave Hughes, Nazeem Hussain, Aaron Chen, Cam James and Danielle Walker. And of course, this week, The Little Dum Dum Club is brought to you by Greg Larson and his show We All Have Bloody Thoughts. On now, at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, we love Geggy, Love seeing him go off. Big Greg. Big Greggy. Big Geggy wants an eggy.

I'm going to read the copy they sent me because I don't know if you've read his blurb, but I do really like it. Come see the world through the eyes of this dead set moron. Ranting and raving about this and that. Oozing a thick syrup as he squeals and oinks his way through his top shelf material. Very good. A pretty apt description. Yeah, I'm personally very much looking forward to getting down

and checking out Mr. Oily himself live on stage. Yeah, it is. Of course, these are in the past going to the future, but it's March 31 through till Sunday, April the 24th. So the full month at this stage you can... Sorry, you can't see every night from now on. You can't post-date this and go back and see the 24th. So the full month at this stage you can sorry you can't see every night from now on. You can't post date this and go back and see

the whole month. But at this point you can still go and see him for like 10 nights in a row if you'd really like to. Yeah go and do that. Comedy.com.au Dress up as Mr. Oily.

He's told us that's what he wants. People coming in shirtless lubed up bring your own little bring your own little tarp to lay down. Just cosplaying as Greg Larson to his show would be very good.

He told us about an aborted Tonightly sketch where they were going to have Mr. Oily and his wife, Mrs. Greasy. They were going to have a wedding where they would slip and slide down towards each other down the aisle. Wow, that's good. And the top brass in at the ABC were not into it. Which I think just goes to show that we should defund it. Ronnie's right.

So yeah, check out Greg. We love Greg. Very funny. The stuff that I've seen him doing in the rooms has been great. Comedy.com.au is where you can get your tickets to that. We also have our live dates coming up this Saturday, April the 16th.com.au is where you can get your tickets to that. We also have our live dates coming up this Saturday, April the 16th. Yep. And then the following Saturday, the 23rd.

And then the day after that, the 24th, which is a postponed show that we had to move because I got Sweet Lady Rona. And that is, so their afternoon show, 16th is 4.30 in the afternoon. The 20th is 4.30 in the afternoon. And then April the 24th is at 9.30, 9.45 at night. And that is a public holiday eve. So that'll be a fun one. That'll be the last night of the Comedy Festival. That's traditionally a very loose and fun night for us.

So I think that would be, they're all going to be cracking because I know who the guests are. But yeah, they're all going to be really because I know who the guests are. But yeah, they're all going to be really good. Only three. And then who knows the next time we do one in Melbourne. So get onto that. Plus Tassie Hobart,

get down to that and make sure we fill that little room up on Saturday, April the 30th. We are coming down. We have excellent guests locked in for that as well.

Yeah. Check all that out. LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can find the dates and the tickets and all that kind of stuff. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode

but until then, enjoy this new one, the 600th episode live at the Athenaeum Theatre. Yip, yip, cha-hoo. Hey lady Hey, mates. Welcome to the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. With me is always the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. Good day again.

Oh, my God. Hot message in the break from someone in the audience. The Athenaeum Theatre has officially run out of booze. Oh! Out of beer. Wow. You cunts have been maligned. Wow. Yeah. That is mad. Oh! And a beer. Wow. You cunts have been maligned.

Wow. Yeah. That is, man, I'll tell you what, happy 600th episode, Tommy. I have to say, if nothing else,

we have loyal fans. I'm looking out here, these guys look like the exact same people that were at the 500th. Yeah, yeah, they've stayed with us for 100 episodes.

Wow. My girlfriend is here. She came to the show today. She just saw the 500th episode Yes Never listened before She'd never seen the show before Yeah I know

She just She's still with you She just told me in the break That a couple sitting near her The guy is a white man with dreadlocks And he was making out with his partner For most of the show Oh nice

And then she reached into her bag And pulled out a bottle of vodka Which She's like What kind of Fucked fan base are you cultivating up there? Also, your girlfriend and your other friend came through backstage just then, as we came off, full of adrenaline, and came up, and I went, oh, you were here for the show, and they both said, yeah. And I was like, oh, what do you think?

And they go, you've got a nice set. And I said, and I was like, oh, what do you think? And they go, you've got a nice set. Oh, they meant... Oh, shit! Oh, my goodness! It's Dave Thornton and no audio cue. Wow! Jeez, let me just say in the last 100 episodes,

you have aged horribly. Right. Hey, Carl Chandler, Tommy Dasolone. Yep, yep. This is your 600th episode. Oh, wow! Oh, my God.

This is so cool and unique. What a great thing. It seems both of you are still cunts, so... Thanks, Norton, everyone! I don't know if you guys really get that joke because it called back to like 100 episodes ago. We're really banking on a lot there. Some of the big fans will get that cut. I had an idea of something that I want to do up the top here

but we are kind of running a bit late. I don't know if you have the time for it, but I thought there's some people... Is he not the two words jazz and man? There might be a callback coming to it later on. Let's see. Let's see how I'm feeling. Am I feeling lucky? No, there's some people that are...

This is the thing, right? We talked about this on the shows. The tickets have gone through these cycles of being off sale and then being on sale. And so some people are now in these front seats that they got at the last minute. And there's people up the back in the nosebleeds that have had these tickets for two years now. And I thought, we've got a cordless mic. What if I quickly run up into the nosebleeds and I just do one bit of quick content up the back of the room to the people in the nosebleeds?

I've got a new joke that I've written that I want to try out for the people in the nosebleeds. Well, I'll intro a guest, I guess, to keep me company. Sure, OK. Welcome to the stage, our first guest, Nazeem Hussain. Sorry, I should say the new host of Little Dublin Club, Nazeem Hussain. Yeah. Finally, we'll get picked up by ABC

Podcast now, so this will be good. Oh, is this the mic I'm on? Hello. Yeah, this is okay. He just seriously quit the podcast because I got announced. He's on his way upstairs to the Westgate section of the show right up there. Did you guys pay any less for those tickets?

Yes! No, yes, no. Some of you... What? You sucked off Lawrence Mooney. You sucked off Lawrence Mooney and still got shit seats? Fuck no. Did you put the prices up for inflation in the two years?

A little bit. What were the original goals? No, because, you know what, to be honest, we set a price and we were like, let's make this fair for everyone, and then we found out what the cost of this joint was and went, that was a wrong decision. G'day, Carl and Nazeem.

It's roving reporter Tommy Dasolo. Can you, hang on, can you... Hey, Tommy, while you're up there, can you talk to the guy that sucked off Lawrence Mooney? Wait, what did I miss? This guy here sucked off Lawrence Mooney. Yeah. I was in the fire escape coming up here, so I don't know what that's a reference to, but

um. It's a reference to someone sucking off Lawrence Mooney. Okay, well, you want me to put this guy on mic? Because I can see him and I wouldn't. You've only got lighting on you. How have you got lighting on you and we still can't play a fucking track? It's the guy that owns the theatre holding

the lamp on his phone up to me. I'll stop talking about how much the theatre costs then. So I'm going to find someone who's up the very back here and just give them a free bit of content, an extra bit of content delivered just for them. I am so catching COVID from this. That's good. Okay, here we go. What's your name? Fern. Fern, when did you buy your tickets? Last week. Fantastic. Yeah, hang on. We got them off Facebook for free because you decided

to buy some merch. What kind of off Facebook for free because you decided to buy some merch. What kind of fucking moronic operation are these guys running? Alright, so I've got a new bit that I'm gonna, a new joke that I've been working on, okay? Alright, I was in a supermarket and I saw an item on the shelf that caught my eye.

It's called a toilet duck. And it kind of made me sad in a way because I thought, finally, that duck is swimming in water, but it's filled with shit and piss. That's not bad! Oh, you've been upgraded.

That's an upgrade. You just punched up my joke. Fuck, it's actually pretty good up here, I've got to say. I'm having more fun up here than I am down there. What are you guys doing after this? Oh, g'day, mate. There's a friend of mine from school here. Can't believe you couldn't get a better ticket. You know

one of the hosts, you fucking idiot. I bought my ticket two years ago. Fantastic stuff. Alright. Guys, I'm gonna... Anyway, take your time up there, Sam Mack, roving reporter. I might see if I can get this thing down to the McDonald's on Swanston Street. Does anyone want anything? Guys, I'm going to... Anyway, take your time up there, Sam Mack, roving reporter. Fucking hell. I might see if I can get this thing down to the McDonald's on Swanston Street. Does anyone want anything?

I'll see you back down there in 45 minutes after I've climbed the stairs back down. All right, all right, all right. Tommy Dastlow, roving reporter, everyone. So, people either... I've missed a lot. So, you either buy a ticket, get it from Facebook Marketplace, or suck off Lawrence Mooney. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ironically, sucking off Lawrence Mooney is a lot easier, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, ironically,

sucking off Lawrence Mooney is a lot easier to deal with than Ticketek, so yeah. He doesn't charge fees, does he? I think his official charge is hospitality, so. Hey, two years. In that time I've got, I met a girl. Oh, yeah.

You got divorced? I got divorced, I divorced a girl I met a girl. Oh yeah. You got divorced? I divorced a girl. Married a girl. True love and true hate. Nice. I got one pregnant. The right one? The new one? That's good. And had a baby five hours ago. And your baby has just walked in right now

Wow, wow Spank me daddy Sorry I took a while to get down A guy sucked me up in the stairwell because I told him I'm Lawrence Mooney Thanks so much for being part of our 600th episode Nazeem Zain, one of our favourite friends of the show. Thank you very much.

Hold your applause. You're a little bit stunned from what happened on the 500th episode. What actually happened? Can you give me like a 30 second... What was the 30 second thing? We got This Is Your Life. We got Tom Gleeson came in and punched as far down as you can without tearing something. Yeah.

I had a wonderful Jazzman segment that I did at the top of the show that really set the without tearing something. Yeah. I had a wonderful Jazzman segment that I did at the top of the show that really set the bar pretty high. Yeah. We had a girl on for one minute just to sort of, like, pass the... The Bechamel Test. The Bechamel Test, yeah.

OK. We didn't mean it that way, but that's just what happened. Just for one minute, that's all I'm saying. Yeah, Cody walked in with shorts for an audio medium, so that was funny. And what else? I think that just about... Oh, Blakey mopped up some piss, so that was a great episode.

That was a great episode. What's happening now? The big set that we've got. We had a big number six that we forgot to bring out. Oh, yeah. Bring it up, bring it up. We're all going to do this. Yeah.

Even the reference to nice set didn't make us go, oh, yeah, it is. It's currently quite wrong No no over the five The 6500th episode Oh my god Over the five You idiot

I gotta note, leave it there Because for 6500 episodes we're looking pretty good When Kappa comes out of hospital He's going to be like how long was I under for Because his antidote to cancer is Anesthesia When Kappa comes out of hospital, he's going to be like, how long was I under for? Yeah, because the antidote to cancer is anaesthesia. Yeah, Austin powers me until they cure cancer. You look like you've been in a coma for 50 years.

Thank you. I don't quite get that burn, but I appreciate the effort. Paul, are you old? You look old. Thank you. How old are you? 15. Wow. That's cool. look old. Thank you. How old are you? 15. Wow. That's cool.

I sucked up like... Anyway. Oh, mate. I am still fucking exhausted from those stairs, honestly. I am. Literally, we forgot about changing the six to the five, so it's 600 because the venue was too busy going, can you fuck all your cunts off?

We've got better people to come in at about six o'clock. I saw the curtain open a crack and I got excited thinking that it's one of our guests who hadn't shown up when we walked out to do the show. It's like, no, idiot, it's just the party is set that you forgot to put up before the fucking gig. Should we get our next guest out here? Oh, okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is someone who is very special to the program. They've been mentioned a little bit previously on the show, but please welcome

into the little Dum Dum Club the manager of Hungry Jacks at Southern Cross Station, Cameron James. And comedy booker. Oh, fuck. You broke the show you idiots

Alright see you everyone that's it You just deleted 6,000 episodes The Hungry Jacks manager Top row Wait The Hungry Jacks manager Go to the top row Top row Top row Top row

Wait Can I have one? Can I have one? Check it at the guy Who sucked up Tommy's mum and dad Yeah dad will have one Oh yes

The Hungry Jacks manager For people at home Walked on Demolished our set And then threw cheeseburgers into the baying crowd. And also, I have a confession to make. Those are McDonald's cheeseburgers. My parents, too scared about their health

to sit in a room of people, but will gladly just eat a cheeseburger out of a bag and a stranger's kid did them. I wouldn't eat them. It's the cure for COVID. I bought those when this show was originally scheduled to be on. So, I wouldn't buy them, but thanks for having me, guys, and please make sure you drop in

to check out our new tender burger. Oh, yeah. Yes. It's got four chicken tenders on it. Yes, go on. And a bit of mayonnaise. Yes, and what else? And that's about it, I reckon. Okay. So this is your new character,

the manager of Hungry Jack's, who just names things in burgers. It's not a character. I wish it was a character. I actually did pick up a bit of work. I mentioned it before on the podcast. I picked up a bit of work at Hungry Jack's during the COVID pandemic.

I don't know if you guys have that down here in Melbourne. It really hit us in Sydney. I don't know if you guys have that down here in Melbourne. It really hit us in Sydney. And so I picked it up for a bit of work and a little bit of extra money. Also, as some of you might know, my dog had to get vagina surgery a little while ago. Well, after what you did to it, of course it had to.

A bit of a reconstruction. And so I picked up a few extra shifts as manager of Hungry Jacks to pay for that and now we're going to get our tits done. Do you book the comedy at Hungry Jacks down there? Well, that's why I actually came down tonight to ask why we weren't the first venue that you thought of. Oh, right, yeah.

For the 6,500th. If we're still doing the show by then I think the Hungry Jacks will be too big for us. We're planning on playing the Jazzman every week from now on. But Naz, you're an esteemed comedian, You're one of the most famous comedians. Well, Cams come on red hot. I love this guy. I'm esteemed. Would you ever consider doing my comedy room? Oh, yeah, sure.

I'll do anything. I mean, I'm on this podcast, so... I've got my child waiting in the car literally right now. Wow. I love how we had, in the first episode, we had a bunch of 50-year-olds just absolutely kicking the fuck out of us. Now we've got a couple of 20- and 30-year-olds just absolutely kicking the fuck out of us.

Now we've got a couple of 20- and 30-year-olds just, like, toweling us. The new generation of people who think we're cunts. Let's get a baby out here next to heckle us. There might be a baby out back, actually. I'm not sure. There's a few people out there. So which... Hang on, you're not sure? You're not sure if there's a baby or not?

Did I see a baby before I was walking onto the stage? How tall was that person? Six foot or one foot? I don't see height. I don't see it. I'm woke. He doesn't see age or height. Yeah, I really don't see age and height. So you were asking which franchise I run.

Yeah, which franchise? I run the Southern Cross Station Hungry Jacks, the one downstairs. And we're doing monthly comedy gigs. Everyone's welcome. But that's like a shared food court. Oh, yeah. So how do you quarantine the sections?

Oh, we don't. But thanks for bringing up quarantine. It is a hotspot. Right, cool. A hotspot for comedy. It's a hotspot for comedy and COVID and AIDS weirdly. I don't know why. I don't know why.

You have no idea what could be happening to cause it to be an AIDS hotspot. Some sort of super spreader event perhaps. Cam? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, yeah. You went quiet for a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just processing the... The cops are turning. So we do... Comedy in tenders. Free tenders. But you do have to pay for soft drinks. Weird order, but go. 45 minutes set.

Yeah, and the pay is 50 bucks. Man, that is great. Yeah? Yeah, that's more than we get paid on this podcast. No, that's not true. No, we get paid exactly 50 bucks. I mean... Yeah, yeah.

No, it was good. You know, Tom Gleeson walked out. He's an absolute multi-millionaire. I said, are you cool if I give you cash money? He looked at me and went, yeah, I'm really cool with that, actually. and went, yeah, I'm really cool with that, actually. Well, yeah, thanks for coming down. There is literally the gig that we've talked about on the show quite a little bit, but I think in two, three weeks' time,

it is actually happening, the final night. The final night of Comedy Festival, usually we do a drunk cast. How about we just hold the drunk cast, we just bring it down to Hungry Jacks. Oh, yes. Bring our own grog into Hungry Jacks Southern Cross. But they can't kick you out for doing a... They absolutely can.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I've got to tell you, the regional managers are not happy with what I'm doing. Do you think there's never been a policeman called to the Southern Cross train station? I mean, what's the charge? Having too much fun? Can you come down with us to the drunk cast at the Southern Cross Hungry Jacks? And get drunk for the first time?

Yeah, I'll be like a white guy in a game that can speak to the cops, except I'll be the sober person. Oh, you can be the guy that's trying to explain what the fuck we're doing. Yeah, yeah. See, what's going on here, these are at-risk youth. They're channeling their rage through comedy. It's getting them off the streets. It's getting them off the streets and in the franchise.

It would also be great if you could help out on the fry machine as well. We do need someone to do that. The fry machine. What's need someone to do that. The fry machine. What's up there with Jazzman? Hey, the manager would know. That must be what it's actually called. If he says that's what it's called. Me and the industry, for God's sake. Has anyone eaten one of their cheeseburgers yet,

by the way? Oh, yeah. You actually ate it? Oh, my God. Oh, the rapper gets thrown back. Wow. It's just like a cartoon character that eats a burger and just spits out the bones. Yeah. You know, I knew that if I came out to a podcast audience

with a bag full of burgers, that would go well. The tech at my room at the town hall, he says this. You're doing a comedy festival show. I'm doing a comedy festival show. When does this go out? In 100 episodes? Yeah, this goes out when Tron happens. At the start, we were going through the late-comer policy. People have stuff on the stage policy,

and he said the stage is a sacred place, and I hate it when anybody disrespects the stage, because as artists, you need to be clean. This guy, respect the fucking art. How dare you throw garbage on a stage that has three pots of beer on it? We're artists. We're trying to do our craft up here to you, Tom.

How dare you paper heckle us? What about Mr and Mrs Allsop? Have you shared your burger Lady and the Tramp style yet? Don't call my dad a tramp. You're saving it for later. That's a great idea. If I know anything about Hungry Jack's burgers... Yeah, they age. Yeah, yeah. Tine really does them

better. He's joking around. They actually do not age well. So please... Just giving it a sniff. An 0-4 fillet of fish. Yeah. Their motto The burgers are better in two years time We did actually have to change the slogan

From the burgers are better at Hungry Jack's To the burgers exist at Hungry Jack's We have burgers On the menu I love how long this character is going to go on for I think you can get out now I think I live in this guy's head now I'm going to have to for. I don't think you can get out now. I think I live in this gas now. I'm going to have to get the fucking job

for real. You've gone full meth-head. I love it. I'm a full meth-head as well. You're on the glass barbie, not bad. That is a very Southern Cross Station thing. Well, actually, I've been meaning to tell you, Tommy, I actually left one of my meth pipes at a hotel.

Right. I picked that up. Yeah. Did you bring that back for me? Well, actually, I've been meaning to tell you, Tommy, I actually left one of my meth pipes at a hotel. Oh, yeah. Right. I picked that up. Yeah. Did you bring that back for me? I pegged myself with it, but yeah, you are welcome. Those are all things that happen on our show. I found the line.

Yeah. Don't disrespect a meth pipe like that. I think you pegged yourself with a meth pipe. Yeah. We are still waiting on a few guests to turn up. Are we? Oh, yeah. Aren't we? on a few guests to turn up. Are we? Oh, yeah. Aren't we?

Yeah, yeah, we'll switch. Well, maybe I can do this. Maybe we can do another This Is Your Life. Maybe I can do a callback to the jazz man. I played a little song earlier, Cam, that was composed 10 years ago by someone in New Orleans about Nick Cody. And just listening back to it, I thought,

this is kind of nice, just commissioning a song about a guest. No one else thought that, by the way. Yeah, I mean, well, when I was at home and I thought it would go well, I thought this is nice. And so I thought, you know, I thought, this is kind of nice. Just commissioning a song about against. No one else thought that, by the way. Yeah, I mean, well, when I was at home and I thought it'd go well, I thought this is nice. And so I thought, you know, and honestly, the original thing that I played, it bombed. But I've commissioned something that I paid a lot of money for, so I have to fucking play it on this podcast.

I've commissioned a folk song about you, Cameron James. What? Yeah. I commissioned a little. Can we hit that? Can we hear the folk song? No. This is our friend Cameron. He's a quirky gentleman. Changed his surname into James. It used to be boom.

At least boom was kind of cool. Now he just sounds like a fool. With or without a name change, he'll end up alone. What the fuck? Did you actually commission this? Who's the singer? Comedy is dead. At least the jokes that he said. Crick, crick, in the singer? It's a fun one.

Is this We Didn't Start the Fire, but We Can't Drive? I just figured that out. Wait, wait. Cameron should retire. He's always forming since the world's been turning. Let's get Cameron fired. If you don't try to fight it, we'll all be delighted. Retire? That can go, of course. Did you write this or did they write this?

So... So I commissioned this on Fiverr. I messaged this lady. She's someone who was in Canada. So by the time she was getting back to me, it was late at night here. And I'm saying to her, look, write these lyrics.

Just, you know, do whatever you want. But make fun of him about changing his name from Bone. And do some of the stuff about the surgery that he had to do on his job's vagina. Just go off on that. His name's Cameron James, comedian, a friend of ours, right? Then I've gone to bed.

I've gotten up and gotten that. I think she's just Googled you because she wanted more information and I was like, he's a comedian, just look him up. And then she's put in all this stuff about you should retire comedy, you should...

That was... I did not ask for any of that. She's just... She's freestyled all of that. I'm going, I'll look him upled I'm going to look him up I'm going to bed I don't have time to give you more information about him It's his 30th birthday We want to cheer him up

She goes I want more stuff What's the name of the dog I'm like I don't know And she's like alright Well then I'm going to say You should quit comedy Oh shit Well what's this

What's this fucking moron's name I don't know I'll have to find out the username for you. Honestly, I've never felt a combination of totally flattered and gut-wrenchingly furious at the same time. Retire. I haven't even fucking started yet, bitch. Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth.

You keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. The zine just slapped the shit out of me. So for people listening to this in the future, that's a reference to the Oscars. Should we get a... She just basically concluded from... She concluded from the internet. I said, make fun of him about the surname, make fun of him about the dog.

The dog's barely in there. You should hear the lyric about the dog. I wrote them down. I took a note of them. I want this person's contact. She's basically just an objective opinion on anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she's also like,

what song do you want it to parody? And I'm like, oh, I don't care, whatever. She's like, we didn't start the fire. I'm like, yeah, whatever. The important stuff is the name Bone and the dog vagina. Did she rhyme retire with vagina? She said... She didn't.

She should retire. Comedy is dead, at least the jokes that he said. Crickets in the room probably end up quitting soon. Surgery on his dog, the hell did he do? Oh my God, monkey in a human form. Cameron the baboon. Baboon. The baboon.

You and your big red fanny wobbling around. Baboon. Shout out to weird Sally Yankovic or whoever the fuck that was. You and your big red fanny waddling around. Shout out to weird Sally Yankovic or whoever the fuck that was. Thank you. Good on her. Hey, look, I got it. You know, it's that great thing where you go, she's gotten it wrong, but then in another way, she's gotten it absolutely right.

That cost you five bucks. I paid 85 bucks to Chappelle Corby. We all know what she's going to spend it on. Oh, no. I paid more than you paid for your Chappelle Corby thing. Oh, what? Yeah. Hey, let's get another guest on. All right, let's welcome to the stage our next guest,

Danielle Walker. Yeah! The bar has run out of beer. Oh, let's auction these off. If you've bought a Milan t-shirt, you've got a beer here for free. Milan, what are the logistics of this? How do you think this is going to work?

How are you fucking us? If you could just do this after the show, it'd really help us out. I'll hand him out. No, no, no. I mean, it's Ramadan. It's the month of giving. Yeah, yeah.

Let's focus on Daniel Walker. Please, no, man. Can I chuck him out as well? No! Just relax. Stop, bro. I'll have one. Why not?

Milan just quit his job and he's just bought everyone a beer. I think that's the wrong order. Hey, Danielle, thanks so much for coming down. Danielle, welcome everyone. Oh, my God.

We have loved you on the show, especially in the last couple of years because you always come in with a more fucked family than ours. So I feel bad because whenever you're on, I feel like hitting the Walker family jukebox and just going, what have you got? What are the hits this time? Have you got any options for us?

Well, I do, but like I said before, I feel like I... The stories I tell on here are the stories that I've accidentally told people because I thought they were normal stories. And then that's when I've realised that they're not. And so, like, what I like is doing a chit-chat and then I accidentally find another one because that's good for my own stage stuff.

But I do have a few that I've written down. Just a few titles. I've got Glued to the Carpet. All right, that's an option. Glued to the Carpet. What else have you got? Bear Chooks Lie. Hang on.

Bear Chooks Lie. Yes. As in naked chickens. Well, you'll have to wait and see. Bear Chooks Lie. Yes. As in naked chickens. Well, you'll have to wait and see.

And I've got Spear Fishing Suicide Story. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. She's wearing the same colour top as his Westgate Bridge sign, so that seems apt. My instinct is Spear Fishing Suicide. I don't know about anyone else.

Is that what we think? Or do we think, what was the first one? The first one was glued to the carpet. Because I think spearfishing suicide sounds pretty intense. Maybe we open with glued to the carpet and then we go with the spearfishing suicide. Can we do two? Can we get two? Yeah, sure.

It might have suicide in it. We don't know. Yeah, true. Glued to the carpet and then never got released and dead. It might be the sport of spearfishing trying to kill itself. That's true. Glued to the carpet is pretty straightforward. In the sense that I got glued to a carpet.

Okay. Okay. Yep. Okay, so suicide story's next? Yes. You know, I got super glued to the carpet and then I yelled out to Mum outside. I said, Mum, I'm super glued to the carpet. Can you help me?

And then she didn't believe me that I'd been super glued to the carpet. Can you help me? And then she didn't believe me that I'd been super glued to the carpet. Sorry, just a quick question. Why, how and why? Oh, yeah. I think that's where we're going to find the real comedy here. Candice looked at me and went, I'm taking this one, I'm asking this question, all right.

My sisters had broken something and they were trying to fix it with super glue and they'd spilled super glue all over the floor. Hang on, hang on. And what happened next? I stood in the super glue and I thought I had water on my foot so I went and stood on the carpet to wipe it off.

And then I got caught. I was like watching TV or something and then I went to move and I couldn't. Hang on, you were mid-wipe and then just got glued to the TV as well as the floor. It was like a deep carpet and so I was like, well, I don't have to do the heavy lifting on this. I can just stand here in the carpet, we'll soak it up. Is this also how your family just dried yourselves after a shower?

Yeah, we just went for a roll. Is this version of events exactly what you told the police in the police report? Well, I mean, I would have liked to go to the police after what mum did to me. So this is what you mean by just slipping shit into

the conversation, huh? Do you want to do this off-air? My instincts about this being a pleasant warm-up to suicide speak for themselves. the conversation. Do you want to do this off air? My instinct's about this being a pleasant warm-up to suicide. What the fuck? What happened? Oh, you've seen me struggle with... Yeah, sorry.

Why wouldn't you just throw it onto the stage, Alice? Thank you. That's how I communicate. Stop distracting. So, Danielle... I must remind you of your family. So you... Oh, Can you pass that around? No, no, no. Can we up here? We have a box of beer.

This is a sacred space. You really should retire, you clown. That was actually a good throw by me, so that's on you. So can we press play on the other hit? Yes, I was yelling out to Mum, I'm stuck on the carpet. And then she didn't believe me and she came in and she just said, you're not stuck on the carpet.

And then she tried to reef my leg up off the carpet and then I screamed in pain like my skin. It was fine because at that point in time I didn't used to wear shoes outside so I had a thick layer of skin there. And then mum realised I was stuck on the carpet so

then she cut me off it with scissors. Not my feet, she cut the carpet. So do you now have carpet on your foot forever? Well, not forever, but for about three weeks. It may as well be forever. So wherever you went was basically carpeted from then on. Yeah, it was actually a nice change for me.

So that's glued to the carpet. Give it up for glued to the carpet, everyone. Give it up for Taylor Swift with glued to the carpet. That's better than Britney stuck at home. So wait, did you ever go, like, did you have school swimming in that period, in those three weeks? No, luckily no.

But also my school, we weren't fancy enough, really, to have school swimming. We just had a swimming carnival once a year with no lessons in between. So people couldn't swim and would compete against each other once a year.

See what happens. I actually did swimming lessons on the weekends and so I signed up for every single swimming lesson and it was me and Shana Crillison were the only two going. We were the only two. Oh, Clayne. We were the only two who signed up for Backstroke and I beat Shana Crillison

by half a pool. And then I felt like Ian Thorpe and everybody at my school was like, you are the best swimmer. Shana fucking sucks. She sucks at Backstroke. And then I went to the inter-school swimming carnival

with rich schools that did proper swimming lessons. All the time. Well, you know about schools that apparently do swimming lessons. I've heard of swimming. Yeah. And then I was the Shana Crillison at the inter-school swimming carnival.

Yeah. Hey, uh, uh, that's awesome. Can we bring on... Oh! No, I did it again! No! What happened? No, we're getting to...

Who says men can't multitask? I'm trying to fit everyone on. So, uh, give it up for Nazeem Hussain! I'm gonna go. My kids are still in the car. Nazeem Hussain. I'm going to go. My kids are still in the car. Nazeem Hussain, everyone. See you later. We have... Who do you want on next?

The person who just got here or the other person? I don't mind. Ooh. Ooh. What do you reckon? Whoever wants to come out first, come out and we'll intro you. Welcome to the stage, Aaron Chen!

Chenny baby! Hey, hello. Yeah. So good to be here in Melbourne. April Fool's. How are you going? I like how you touch your New York hat and go, yeah, I'm here in Melbourne.

That's not Melbourne. Melbourne's the New York of Australia. Oh, thank you. You're right. What's Sydney? Sydney? LA. Oh, thank you. You're right. What's Sydney? Sydney? LA? Yes, Hollywood. So you two are from Hollywood.

We're more Woody Allen and you're more... Whatever. Harvey Weinstein. The three stooges all trying to get through the same door on the one. Thanks for coming in, Jenny baby. So this is your home ground.

This is your venue. So this is the culmination of our hopes and dreams. The one time we can play a beautiful theatre like this and you do it every night and couldn't give a fuck. Yeah, I call this a Tuesday. I mean, good on you guys. 600 is beautiful stuff. It comes out so nicely

and it's so condescending still. This is where you do your comedy festival show and it's such a beautiful old theatre and whatever. To be honest, Tommy, you'd be the same as me. You've seen music gigs here. It's such a beautiful old theatre and whatever. To be honest, Tommy, you'd be the same as me. We have seen... You've seen music gigs here. I've seen Elvis Costello,

who has been my favourite musician of all time, forever, on this very stage. And now that I'm him, I'm like, fucking, he must be struggling. He's me. Yeah, I saw Louis C.K. here and got a photo with him out the front Are you a fan of his comedy as well?

No, I mean I saw him out the front I was waiting for him after the gig I didn't go to the gig I just wanted to have the backstage experience But sorry, I'm a little distracted because I can see we'll get complaints afterwards It's not that we don't want to hear from Cheney but we have an obligation

We have to hear spear phishing suicide People are going to go not that we don't want to hear from Jenny, but we have an obligation. We have to hear spear phishing suicide. People are going to go crazy if we've set that up if we don't get through that. I mean, you say you have to hear it, but you haven't heard it yet. It might, yeah. Because sometimes they also tell stories that I think are very funny,

and then everybody goes, no. Yeah, me and Tommy get that all the time. So spear phishing suicide. My uncle's best friend's son committed suicide. So Aaron, what's the dressing room like? And then on the anniversary of his suicide a year later, they did spearfishing to raise money for suicide.

To raise money for suicide? It's called the bad rap. Yeah. You get the money together and you buy more guns? Is that what it was? Yeah, yeah. No, for prevention of suicide. And then in the spearfishing, when they were trying to raise...

I'm not sure exactly how, if you just auction off the crayfish or something. I'm actually not sure about that part of it. They were auctioning crayfish for suicide prevention. I assume that's what they were spearfishing. That's fucking amazing. Right, right. Because what happened is the best friend of the boy who committed suicide, he went down to try and get...

Yeah, he drowned in the water. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I knew it was coming, I just couldn't stop it. Jesus Christ. On the anniversary. It was actually... And how'd the fundraiser for him the next year go?

Just have a bushka doll of suicide prevention Every year we've got to stop having these fundraisers They're dropping like flies Yeah, so was that one good? Wow, that's really put Cameron Should Ret retire into perspective, hasn't it? Could always be worse. Tell us about your cheeseburger deals again or whatever the fuck was happening. I actually am going to retire now after this.

Can we bump Cam out for a little bit? I'm out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cameron James, everybody. See you guys. Bye-bye. And please welcome to the stage our next guest Dave Hughes

Hughes Hughes Do you know Hughes? Hughes is here Yeah The old three amigos are back together Hughes, Cheny and Daniel Walker It's like the old days, absolutely

Who doesn't love the accent? I am fucking hell Love this joint How you going up there? Are you going alright up there? Hughie, thanks so much for coming Hugh's, I should say, thank you very much You've been stuck in traffic.

I've been in communication with you for the last half hour. Traffic actually isn't too bad out there at the moment, so yeah, to be honest. So you have no excuse. I hate to go all FM radio on here, but traffic's pretty good.

Right, right. Hey, can I tell you a story about something that happened a couple of months ago? I went to a pub with a friend of the show, Milan, who's been here before. You know Milan? Yeah, absolutely. Was that Milan?

We went to a pub and weirdly we sat, it was just me and him in the entire pub, it was just me and him, and then these two girls came up and sat directly next to us. Yep. And they started talking about comedy and how they've been going to comedy and whatever, and we were like, this is really weird, this feels like a set-up. They are getting nervous. Yeah, I'm getting nervous. Yeah. It actually sounds sexy.

What happened next? We missed that. What was that? I said it sounds sexy. Oh, right. So these two girls start talking about comedy and we're like, is this a set-up? Should we enter into the conversation? Because there's this entire pub in the city right next to us.

Oh, these two sexy girls, here's what they want, some 40-year-old men joining their conversation. You guys talking about comedy over here? Yeah. It's a real honey trap. So we go, okay, all right, we'll buy. They're talking about this open mics in Footscray. They weren't fishing.

Oh, really? They sat directly next to us. It felt weird. It felt like we needed to do something. I swear this happened. We know what happened. This sounds like a great chat you're having with Malime that you're just able to perfectly hear all the conversations going on around you.

Who are these two girls, the Kransky sisters? That's such a weird reference, but you made it work. But the man of laughter that got, we all know who the Kransky sisters are, do we? No one does. I don't know. They're a great act, but that's a deep cut. Yeah, Cheney's 11.

How the fuck do you know the grand insistence? I write well-crafted jokes and they go okay. He says something that doesn't make sense, he fucking flaws the joke. I mean, I'm just used to the theatre. Don't worry, Aaron. Theatres come and they go So we're at this bar and these two girls are basically hitting on us We're begging you to come over

What the fuck happened? We've got to go to a song. Come on, Hughes, we're having fun. If you can make Jenny stop being funny for a second, I'll fucking tell you. So they start talking to me, there's Footscray open mic, and they're going on about how everyone's bombing

and over there, and it's weird, but they've moved to Hawthorne now, they've moved to Richmond, and they want to see something a bit closer and I'm like, oh my god, okay. So I step in and I go, well actually, what you're talking about sounds a lot like the gig I run

on Monday night in the city called Comedy at Splane. They said, oh okay, tell us some more. I go, well, so it's a real mix of up and coming new people, a bit of mid-level sort of, you know, good comedians that aren't famous yet doing their best stuff, and then some surprise drop-in guests. It could be anyone.

For example, this week, we had Dave Hughes pop in, and the girl goes, I'm absolutely not coming. Dave Hughes is a cunt. So... Hang on. Remember before when I said I was nervous? And so I said, okay, whatever, that's not really the point

of what I'm saying. No, it's a point for me! I'd like to think, I'd like to think you defended me! I did, Luke! Well, it's coming up! He wants to cut through with the sexy chicks who are obsessed with Carlin Millar! It's coming up! You're reading ahead. Of course I defended you, UC! I can't read ahead because it's in your brain.

Of course I defended you. So I said, look, you're getting the wrong thing out of the story. I'm trying to say to you. I said, that's for example. I said, it could be anyone. It could be anyone. That did not happen. It just happened that this week it was Dave Hughes.

And she goes, oh, no, fuck that cunt. And I'm like, no, listen, listen, you're concentrating on the wrong point. I said, look, Hughesy, I get it, he's so big. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Anything to impress a floozy.

Colin, I'm a bit confused with the story. Does this woman hate Hughesy or not? I'm fairly sure she hates me. Oh, okay. I hadn't really picked up on that. So, I'm trying bit confused with the story. Does this woman hate Husey or not? I'm fairly sure she hates me. Oh, okay. I hadn't really picked up on that. So, I'm trying... How many people have you thrown under the bus for a route?

If you would have done that gag anywhere else, it would have bombed. You're lucky you're home. So, I'm going, look, that was just an example. You know, Husey is... Powerful Pound, I said, Husey, I'm always saying this. Powerful Pound, the best stand-up comedian in the country.

I always say that. He pocket-dolled me in his pocket by accident. I heard him go, I don't care, even if it means you won't sleep with me, I'm defending Husey. Exactly, exactly. Well, that I can agree with. Yes.

So I kept saying that. I was like, and whatever I said, whatever sales point I said, she kept going back to, yeah, but Hugh's going to be there. I said, honestly, he's there maybe once every two years. You're going to come down, he's not going to be there. But I'm like, this has been going on for five minutes, I'm like, honestly,

What the fuck have I done? Well, exactly. So I there. But I'm like, this has been going on for five minutes. I'm like, honestly. What the fuck have I done? Yeah, well, exactly. So I'm like, what is the problem here? Like, what has Hughsey done to you? This is what I'm interested in. I'm like, what has Hughsey done to you? And so she goes, oh, he said this thing on the project when he was hosting the project that really offended me. In 2013?

Yes. Like, eight or nine years ago, I'm like, this has got to be good. No longer. when he was hosting the project that really offended me. In 2013? Yes! Yes! Like, eight or nine years ago, I'm like, this has got to be good. You hosted it way back then. I'm like, this better be good. What did I say? So I go, what did he say? And she goes, listen, back then in 2013, there was floods in Queensland, and he came on and he does a thing where there's a bit of footage,

and then he was making a joke off the back. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I work for the project. I write some of those bits off the back. And then she goes, well, I was horribly offended by it. I go, well, actually Dave writes all of his own stuff here.

Which is true. Yeah, comedy is fun on 8.30 Monday. So, she goes, I've got to know, what did he say? And she goes, there was footage of, there was floods in Queensland eight years ago, nine years ago, whatever it was, and then there was footage of a guy walking through the floods with pants on but no shirt in flood water.

And it came back to you and you go, oh, bloody hell, I know it's a flood, but fucking, you know, put a shirt on, mate. That's good shit. Yeah, and she goes, no, I will never forgive him for that. And I'm like... And I go, but he just wasn't wearing his shirt. That was...

Like, that's fine, isn't it? And she goes, thousands of people died in that flood. I'm like, that absolutely did not happen. The man without a shirt on, he had alopecia. So, I'm like, look, I really think you're going overboard. I kept going, I was so offended.

I was so offended. I said, I really think you should get over that bit. I don't think that's that bad. He's a great comic. Take the risk. Come down to Comic bit. I don't think that's that bad. He's a great comic. Take the risk. Come down to Comic Explain. He's probably not going to be there. She goes, you think I'm upset about this. My friend was even more upset.

I said, what do you mean? How can he be more upset than you? Still banging on about it eight or nine years later in a pub to a fucking random. This is the longest letter to Penthouse ever, by the way. My friend who's up in this hotel room. Why don't you come in? I haven't even got to the good bit when it went in. Ah, no.

No, no. So, I go, she goes, oh, my friend was even more offended. I was like, well, what did your friend do? And she goes, my friend, oh, he was so offended. He saw Husey on the street one night. And he went up to him. It was on Chapel Street. He saw Husey on the street one night. And he went up to him.

He was on Chapel Street. It was like at 7 o'clock at night. I fucking remember this. I swear to God I remember this. Well, this is what she said. You tell me if this is right or not. She goes, my friend saw Husey on the street at Chapel Street, walked up, pulled his pants down, pointed at his dick and went,

yeah, well, how do you like it now, Hughsy? And I was like, but in the story, he didn't pull his pants down. That was, he had his shirt off. So what you're essentially doing is like just going up to Hughsy with no context, pulling your pants down, pointing at your dick and going, how do you like this, Hughsy? It makes no fucking sense. Her friend has put some mayo on that story. I do remember someone yelling me in Chapel Street, but there was no pant action. Oh, really? Absolutely, I do. And it was like, that's a very rare event, so I thought, fucking calm down.

The way she talked, she goes, he pulled his pants down, pointed at his dick and said, how do you like this now, Hughsy? And I was like, that is, that's an awful thing to do without context. That's crazy. And then she goes, yeah, I'm thinking about it. There was a few people complaining going, stop hassling Husey and his family when they're going to dinner. No, look, working on the project can be tricky because they have very sad stories. And if you're the comedian on the show, you're meant to do jokes in between

so that can fucking be a tight, tough turnaround Well he said, then she goes oh man that's crazy and she goes oh he did it another time and I'm like what? And she said the guy then saw Husey in a supermarket

cornered him and then got his phone out and made you make an apology into his iPhone. Look, some of this I'm not remembering. But I remember some slight altercation around the floods in Queensland. I think there was a guy on Chapel Street. But I think the person who was speaking to you forgot to mention that guy was very much on crystal meth. Just imagined himself getting his dick out at Husey.

It's a great story to make up, because who can, I mean, apart from, she stumbled into the wrong thing here, but who can ever verify? It's like, yeah, I showed Husey my dick in the street the other day. Well, it sounds a bit like a Daniel Walker story, because I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe that this guy did this twice. That's insane, that's crazy. And she goes, oh, no, and she was like, oh, well, I can't believe that this guy did this twice. That's insane, that's crazy. And she goes, oh no, and she was like, oh well, yeah, it didn't happen a third time.

I was like, that's lucky. And she goes, yeah, well, I guess you can call that lucky, because after that, he killed himself. Fuck, now I feel bad. All because of a bloke. He was all dead No one knew that was the punchline of this story

Yeah you should have at least titled it at the start like Danielle Suicide dick revealer Jusie topless suicide story Yeah sorry Sorry I can lighten the mood My dad lost his house in the floods recently

I know I'm sorry Jenny Hiltz on me I'll defend your honour By showing he's in my car no absolutely but I mean if your house does flood four times in one year your bucket should move

shouldn't you I mean he's digging in he's not backing down next time I see this I'm going to get that bit of audio from our podcast no don't

you cannot take that out of context I'm going to see that girl again and I'm going to play that bit and go now our podcast. No, don't! You cannot take that out of context! I'm going to see that girl again and I'm going to play that bit and go, now you've got something to complain about. You thought he was a cunt before. Well, guess what? He's gotten worse. Comedy that's playing 8.30 Mondays. I was on an electric scooter recently in Ackland Street. I still wear those scooters down. And there was blokes having a party on a Tuesday

morning. You know the type of blokes who have parties on a Tuesday morning in the street. And one real big bloke goes, I need a high five! And I had the option of fucking zooming off, but I thought, no, I'll give him a high five. He came over, I gave him a high five, but with the other hand,

he started tickling my balls! Hell yeah! I said, mate, I didn't offer the load too, you fuckhead. And the side was like, mate, nah. He goes, nah, it's okay. It's fucking not okay. It wasn't right, Danielle.

No. No. I've seen one time my friend, she came over when I was little, was sitting on the chairs having a Zuperduper each. This is the most wholesome Daniel Walker story. I'm not done yet. My dog, Duke, rolled over in front of her and he had real big balls.

And my friend said, can I feel them? And I said, yeah, sure. And then she just kicked off her thong and just sort of... It looks like she knew what she was doing. She did. I was just like... This is premeditated. Hang on, that was a zooper-dooper, right? Yeah, that's a zooper-dooper.

No, his lipstick stayed all the way in. Yeah, I don't fuck my dogs. Okay. That wasn't even on the jukebox. That's a good one. Yeah, they come back sometimes, don't they? We've got this thing

that we've worked on. Do we have time for it? Do we do that? I believe if we can do this next thing in seven, eight minutes, we can do it. Can we do this thing? Yeah. It's a little long-running serial that we do. Can we play the theme music to our longest running? There we go.

There we go. Your catalogue is... Word to your life. I'm Rad. It's about to start in town. Rad. Okay, so this is a two-parter. This was originally meant to close the first show, but we're just going to do them all back to back. Let's get through this in seven minutes.

Here we go. Okay, Jenny, it's been a long two years of delays, but finally it's here. Your shipment of the Thailand home brand Viagra, as presumably used by Shane Warne. No, no, no, Jenny. A big, big event I've had tickets stuck on the fridge under my cheese TV magnet for for almost two years now. This will be fun.

What would Rad Dad have tickets for? Crusty Demons, The Super Jesus, The Tokyo Shock Boys, a taping of Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, The Rotten Dot Com Dining Experience. All bogus answers, Jenny. It's the 500th episode of my favourite comedy

podcast. It's these two really cool guys who could do radio if they really wanted to, but choose not to. They have famous comedian guests on like Trevor Noah and Pablo Francisco. And they also have on newer comedians who aren't as famous as the hosts, for about five minutes. And even though they swear heaps, they're actually really smart. They take on big targets, and they don't care who they offend.

They even make fun of Adelaide. It's called, and check this out, the Little Bum Bum Club. Oh, very, very clever. God, who wrote this one today? Mad Magazine? Jenny, be careful. These shows can get very full on for a first timer. We're about to get to the venue, so I'll give you a heads up. You're about

to smell more Lynx Africa in one room than you ever have in your life. Most of these people are about to, probably going to want to talk to you about craft beer, smoked meats, Rick and Morty, or all three. And if anyone looks at you strangely, don't be alarmed, you're probably the first woman they've seen outside of Lara Croft. Wow, this podcast must be very funny

if they've attracted those people plus you. Remarkable that these podcast hosts haven't killed themselves yet. Yet another thing these guys aren't good enough at to get right. Man, it does stink in here. Can we get that janitor over there to help in some way? Hey, that's Brett Blake. He's not a janitor. Because you'd probably have to pass a written test to be a janitor.

Hey, Blakey. What, you old cunt? I've been out there for 15 minutes for that. Hey, you can't read and you're a bogan haha got him what the fuck you talk to me like that again you velcro I can't even read velcro fucking dickhead sex pest anyway go

wow this guy rules also the first time he's ever done one of these and actually read it properly don't you oh fuck off, cunt. Well, at least there's one person here I have a higher reading age of. Nice to meet the guy who packed Chappelle's Corby's bag. Anyway, Rat Dad, I don't think you should have brought me here. Everyone

here is a bit scary. I mean, look at this guy with the beard. I think that's the edgy New York style comic who always tells it like it is and tears holes in the social fabric. Hi guys, I'm Nick Cody. Wait, my mistake. It's the cunt from the coffee club ad. Suck my cappuccino, you breakfast

radio sellout. I've been to both your solo shows before. I'm surprised you know the term sellout. It still works. Oh, wait. Are we still Rad, Dan and Jenny in this thing? Oh, yeah.

Speaking of breakfast radio, here's the secret sound. Ching, ching. No. No. No, I saw Carl rewriting just then. No. No. You all did that.

No. No. So you kind of just set me up. No, no, no, I didn't do that. In his own theatre as well, Carl. Have some respect for the man. That's those daddies hiding behind his mum at this point. No, listen, do the full thing.

Do the context. Sorry, I don't know why you wrote this, but here's a secret sound. Ching chong, ching chong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No! If you guys want, I'll just do it.

No, no, no, no, no. Do it. Do it. I'll do it. You do it. It says in brackets, do the eyes. No! What does that mean? Why did Cody have to leave?

He was never here! For once, I really hope that audio didn't get fucking recorded. Let's get Kappa on the phone to do it. No. Is that fair? That's the sound of me making stacks of cash without being a 45-year-old shaking a bucket at the door of an open market

or asking mummy. Mummy Wong. Oh, we got there. We got there. Fucking hell. I think this bloke just got you called up our ass. Phew, there's Dave Thornton. I guess that's you.

The host of This Is Your Life apparently and reliably known as one of the nicest guys in show business. G'day Rad Dad, g'day Jenny. This is your life. It's shit, you fucking losers. Well, lucky we talked to the nice one. Jesus, Rad Dad, you've waited two years for this? It's just a bunch of grown adults

abusing each other. What's the appeal? I mean, I'd rather be at home. I'm kind of freaking out with all these people around. You see, for the past 24 months or so, most people have been spending time away from each other, but I was taking part in similar behaviour even before that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hurry up.

Keeping to myself, staying away from crowds, not even conversing with small groups of people. God, I thought I was a stick of duck sandwich. Get to the fucking point. Spending time by my own, too delicate for this world, almost frightened of interaction with my fellow human beings. Honestly, there's a thousand bludders in here that need a piss. Can you

fucking say the thing? I guess I've been self-isolating for years. Anyway, shouldn't we have some sort of dramatic conclusion? What, what, what? Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. Funny you say that, Jenny. It's in front of you. Not as easy as it looks now, is it, cunts? Funny you should say that, Jenny,

but I think I've got a big problem right now. I just used a toilet cubicle after Nick Capa and he didn't wipe the seat, and now I think I have cancer. I'll have to get someone to stick some fingers up my arse and also do a prostate check. We'll just have to wait and find out the results in two years' time in episode 600.

Alright, Dad. Okay, let's hear the theme again for part two of the cliffhanger. Carl writes for TV. Alright, cut the music. We have three minutes to do this. Wow, Jenny, can you believe it? I just went to the toilet after Nick Capper.

I have cancer. Yeah, I know. It felt like two years ago, but it was only an hour ago. I've been thinking of nothing but your will ever since, although I'm assuming all I'll get is a couple of so fresh 98 CDs and a bong shaped like Kramer from Seinfeld. We'll have a good delivery. So now the live podcast has started, but I can't concentrate.

Can you give your make a wish to me so I can get a dad that's not fucked in the head? Make-a-wish? That's a great idea, Jenny. I'm going to use my make-a-wish to be on this live performance at the Little Bumdum Club. Maybe I'll find out the cure from one of the co-hosts who survived it. This is me, Tommy Dasolo, survivor and fucker of cancer's tight little ring hole speaking. In character as Tommy Dasolo,

on stage doing a podcast within the world of Rad Dad. And if you can't hear me properly, that's because our heads are finally, completely up our own arseholes. What's that? A million-year-old man in the crowd wants to get up and be on the podcast. What do you think, Carl? Me, now, Carl speaking, not Rad Dad. It's Carl here, I think.

And sure, we might as well. Daryl Summers, Mr Methane and Kane the Wonder Dog have all been pulled out of the show. And everyone hates the long-running serial we have planned at the end of these shows, so let's get some surprise guests instead. Come on up here, cool, distinguished middle-aged man, and you too, dorky, shit-faced version loser little girl.

Wasn't in the first... Well, fuck heaps, okay? She does. We're on the clock. Come on, two minutes. Let's go. It's your line, cunt. Oh, fuck! Wow, Rad Dad speaking. This is so exciting. I'm on my favourite podcast. Yeah, this is so... Wait, Jenny, fucking hell.

Nice to meet you both. I'm Tommy Daslow. And I guess my first question to you, Rad Dad and Jenny, is where do you get your ideas? Usually about 15 minutes before the show kicks off. Which one of you was speaking just then? Who cares? Tommy, let's go backstage. My mum's got drinks and we can do Blakey's ADHD drugs. Let's let Rad Dad and Jenny host the show now

before we give ourselves a stroke. Bye. Okay, now it's just me, Rad Dad. Wow. The only good Sri Lankan comedian, Nazeem Hussain, is here. Carl, why does it say Nazeem and then in brackets, eat a curry? No. That's rude, mate.

Come on, Carl. I'm Nazeem. Hey, Rad Dad. Sorry to hear about you having cancer. Have you tried Haymes paints? Good idea, like painting the house in bright colours might take my mind off everything. No, as in you should try drinking it. That's it, I'm never watching the project again.

Wow, QZ's here too. You said you've got the cancer virus. Then I call for a complete lockdown. Everyone stay inside for a year or two I reckon. As I always say, you can got the cancer virus. Then I call for a complete lockdown. Everyone stay inside for a year or two, I reckon. As I always say, you can't be too safe listening to Dan. He fucking knows best. Now, I don't want to come across as some sort of anti-cancer vaxxer, but I don't think you can actually catch cancer from the toilet.

Is there a doctor in the house who could verify this? Yes, I'm one. I'm a doctor. Yep, I sure am. Hughsey gets to play himself because he's famous but yes, I'm the doctor. I'm a real character actor.

Thanks guys. Worth flying down from Sydney for. Please listen to Finding Dragogo Finding Desperado Stay tuned for the new screen Australia series Finding Yeetures Thanks for seeing me Dr Bone I'll just get ready for you to do the cancer test on me by bending over

Oh my god there's more Oh god you're thinking of a prostate exam Although hang on a minute What's this I can see? Rad Dad, you don't have cancer. I think I've found what's causing you so much discomfort. Have you been overseas to Southeast Asia recently? No, not for hours.

Well, an hour. 45 minutes. Ah, well this explains it. This medical condition originates from Thailand. Oh no, is it deadly? Please say yes. You appear to have a pirated DVD

copy of The Bridges of Madison County stuck up your arse. Oh, so that's what they were doing at the massage parlor over there. That makes sense. Because I just pulled my pants down and said I'd like a happy ending. Oh, rad, Dad! Dad! Holy fuck, that brings us to the end of episode 600

of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Big round of applause to Daniel Walker, Cam Jays, Adam Chen, Black Blake, Dave Hughes. Thank you so much for joining us. And we'll see you next time. See you later. And they've done it again. Oh, they've done it.

Finally done it. Yeah, man. Life moves pretty quick between 500 and 600, doesn't it? It really does, yeah. It feels like an instant. Some fun times up there. The classic, I think the classic setup for us doing those back-to-back episodes

is we throw everything at the wall in the first one, and then the second one we've got nothing left, and we just get loose, and it's more fun maybe. Well, not that we have nothing left. I mean, in this one we had written stuff that we didn't get to in the first hundred, and then we had to cram it all into the back end of this and do a very rushed job of it. Whether we should have or not, maybe is up for debate.

Probably should have been. I mean, it felt like the hours that had gone into, you know, prepping it, it's like, we'd better do it. Otherwise, we've just wasted a whole lot of time in the lead up. That's it. Oh, look, there were some little gems in that performance, so it was worthwhile doing, I guess. And, you know, look, we just got rushed because you know the people at the uh the venue we're in were were rushing us and uh which just goes to show

you don't get much for fucking 15 grand or whatever bank for your buck yeah what were we paying i don't know it's quite a bit yeah which is you know that's the going rate whatever but i think i paid a deposit like two years ago well i would have did you i think so did you pay a deposit i have a feeling i did yeah i'd be interested in checking up on that because i've certainly seen no uh follow up of that when i've been dealing with them okay interesting i'll have a look it rings a bell i mean it's so long ago man i would definitely have a look because I don't think we did that. Okay. You may have paid someone else for something.

Yeah, okay. Maybe that's what I did. Maybe I paid someone else to suck me off in a public bathroom. And I'm getting confused with the experience of dealing with the Athename Theatre. Yeah, and he sucked you off and he got a very milky deposit. That's it. Yeah, okay. I've gotten those wires crossed there. But yeah, they've done it again. He sucked you off and he got a very milky deposit. That's it. Yeah. Okay.

I've gotten those wires crossed there. But yeah, they've done it again. 600th episode or the 6500th episode if you look at the photos. Much fun. Shout out to Callum Preston for doing the set. If you're on the socials, have a look at the set that he built for us. It was excellent. Much fun.

And hopefully you guys felt the fun through your little earbuds and want to go to some live shows because they're heaps of fun. Like we said at the top of the show, we've got one April 16th, European Beer Cafe, 4.30. Same time the next week, April 23rd on the Saturday at 4.30. And then the next night, April 24th on the Sunday night at 9.45, we have a late show. It's a public holiday, Eve.

It's going to get loose. It's going to get fun. Excellent guests, excellent times. We are in the mood for this live bullshit. Tommy's a new man. He's out.

He's been self-isolating for seven days and he's ready to perform for you. Yep. Fielding calls from the health department every second day. Really?

Yeah. Wow. I haven't heard of anyone else experiencing that. Right. I don't know. Maybe they saw the name come up and they're like, wow, a celebrity's gotten the virus. The face of the virus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which I was like, have I got like a new strain? Is that why they're like hassling me so much? Is this like a brand new, they're like they've done the genomic sequencing and they're like, wow, we've never seen anything like this before. Yeah, I don't know. I don't have the, I haven't heard of other people talking about that,

but that's nice. It's nice to see someone's checking up on you. I got a call at like, yeah, maybe 8 p.m. or something on the, maybe the second day or the third day. And it was someone just clearly like reading from a script and like trying to trying to sort of be like yeah like i'm i'm sort of fine i'm just really tired i'm just sort of

trying to rest and her being like yeah yeah yeah and then just still reading through all these bullet points i'm like i don't really know how else to say it that yeah yeah i just don't want to be on the phone now if you're experiencing domestic violence i'm like yeah that's all good no no none of that yeah that's all fine yeah it's like yeah if you're experiencing domestic violence, I'm like, yeah, that's all good. No, no, none of that. Yeah, that's all fine. It's like, yeah, if you're having trouble breathing, I'm like, yes, I've got the number. I know. I'm feeling very tired of this conversation. My arm's just really hurting from holding up the phone.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My patience is wearing thin. Yeah. And it's her going like, you know, this is obviously like a really trying time for you and, you know, I hope you're feeling okay. But it's like she's clearly just reading it off a sheet of paper. So it's like, this doesn't, I could not be less convinced that this stranger gives a fuck about my health and well-being at all. So, yeah, there's still someone's out there following up.

You know, you feel like everyone's just kind of forgot, like other than getting it and having to isolate. The government is just like, oh, well, that doesn't exist anymore. But no, they're paying someone to be out there calling you up from their house. I heard the woman's kid come in and start kicking off as she was on the phone to me. That's great. That's great. So someone's, you know, someone's getting paid to just sit there and call sick people and read the script about Dom Vai.

Well, congratulations, Tommy. You were out as of a couple of hours ago. That's your seven days or whatever it is, and you've come straight here. I know. It feels awful. It really feels awful. Congrats. You've really earned this. I would have gone on the Melbourne Eye.

That's how I would have celebrated if I didn't have to do this. Yeah. It's brutal because my girlfriend ended up getting it as well. And so she's two days behind me. So she has to still isolate for another two days. And it does feel rough. Yeah. Like being like, I'm out the door.

I'm back doing the shows. I'm out and about at the festival. And those first two days when you were locked up, she was presumably locked up as well. Exactly. Yeah. So she will have had to do a full nine days. Cody did the same thing where his kid got it,

then his wife got it, and then he's just sitting around waiting to get it, like having to sit in the house, just waiting to get it and then do that extra time. I mean, because it's like once one of you in the house has it, it's sort of like the countdown is on. Because I have heard of plenty of people who their partner has had it

and they've just not gotten it. But I've also heard of people then testing positive on like day six. And it's like, great, my partner's out tomorrow and now I have to do a week from now. So my girlfriend was just like doing the tests flat out, just being like, if I'm going to get it off you, let's just fucking get this show on the road. So, yeah, she's only got to do an extra two days.

But two days now of me being like, oh, I went and saw Greg Larson and he was so funny. You would have loved it. I'd just been to Carl's house. It was so cool. I just sucked down some fresh air. It was amazing. We just read five names of people. Oh, you wouldn't read about it.

I guess you'll just have to listen on Wednesday. But it's not the same as if you'd been there. But yeah, we've got this. I did notice that she must have had something wrong. Because you usually traditionally, just like the Beatles documentary, you usually do bring your girlfriend and just have her sitting there yeah just reading the newspaper as we're doing the the patreon raid so i thought something was up it does feel weird that because she's isolating you couldn't come to my house to do this like it's still an isolation zone right so people can't come into the house

right but i can just come and go freely it does feel strange yeah I didn't think, yeah, I did, when you hit me up, I went, I'll come over. I'm like, oh, okay, all right. You know, I would have easily gone over there, but I guess, yeah, that makes sense, I guess. Yeah. It's a contamination zone until Friday. Because the yellow and black stickers just crisscrossed across the front door. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. I was recording in hazmat suits. Yes. front door. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Us recording in hazmat suits. Yes.

But yeah, we've got this Saturday the 16th for 30pm at the European Beer Cafe. The following Saturday the 23rd, same time at the European Beer Cafe. And then the next day, the 24th. 9.45pm. That's the Melbourne tour all wrapped up and then we've got Tassie the next weekend. Hobart, April the 30th, Saturday afternoon at the Uni Bar. Great guest confirmed. Please come down if you're in Tassie. There's no excuse.

We need you to support us and come down. If you've been listening to us for years and all that sort of stuff, we promise it'll be fun. And then on top of that, if you want to, you know, like we've said the last couple of weeks, if you want to come down and just get we've said the last couple of weeks, if you want to come down and just get a bit of Tassie in you, this is the time to do it. Come down and have a look at us and take yourself on a little holiday.

Plenty of people traveling around now that everything seems to be a little bit more open. Everyone's a little bit more confident. Great excuse to do this. We're bringing down our respective partners and my respective child. Yep. So if you want to come and pick your way through the crowd and go, which one do they root, do you reckon? Which one?

This is the time to do it. I was going to bring my respective car, but there's no spaces on the spirit coming back until like two weeks later for some weird reason. Oh, are you going to hire a car when you're down there or not? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I probably will. Yeah, it makes me think, fuck,, are you going to hire a car when you're down there or not? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I probably will. Yeah, it makes me think, fuck, what am I going to do?

But I mean, it is... I mean, it is... It's kind of like you're paying a lot of money to have the... Like, the Spirit is very expensive. Right. Like, unless you were going for like a couple of weeks, it probably is always going to be cheaper to rent a car.

Yeah. You're paying for the experience of being on the Spirit mostly. I'm a bit worried about driving down there. What side of the road do they drive on? They drive dead in the middle. In the middle? Yeah.

Wow. So it's like any time you're on the freeway, any car coming towards you, it's just like you're playing chicken every two minutes. Right, okay. So you're just zigzagging the whole time. Yeah. Okay, all right.

Well, maybe I will drive down there. Yeah. That sounds like fun. Sounds fun, yeah. So check all that out. My show is back on as of when this is out. It's on until Sunday,

the 17th, 7.40pm at the Cooper's Inn. I moved all the shows across. I spent a lot of time fucking fielding emails from people who want their dates all moved around.

It's a fun little activity to keep yourself busy while you're isolating. But yeah, come and check that out. And then I'm in Hobart the day after the pod. No, the 1st. 1st of May at the Hobart Brewing Company. I've been told that I'll have a local Tasmanian comedian open for me. Oh, really? And I'm considering saying, can I just have Tom Pallard do it instead?

Wow. That's funny. Well, I guess worth a mention is during the Comedy Festival, if you're going to Tommy's show, and there's plenty of people who are out and about looking for other things and bits and pieces, people flying in from interstate and going, you know, you run rooms to me, comedy rooms if you want to come by. I traditionally run my basement comedy club Friday and Saturday nights in the city.

All the best comics and people from Friends of the Show and big names and whatever. During the Comedy Festival, I run a showcase every night called Best of Melbourne Comedy. So if you're looking for one of those showcases, come by that. It's selling out nearly every night. So get a ticket. Or alternatively, something that isn't selling a ticket or, or as many tickets, is an ill-advised show I started called Best of UK Comedy, where I looked at everyone else running shows that sound like that and thought, that cash grab is for me.

Yep. And it's more of a coin grab. So if you... Still cash. Yeah, still cash. Not as much cash. I don't advise you coming to see it. You can feel free to stay away from that.

Well, I mean, if you want to see Danny McGinley and Dave O'Neill, I hear The Place to Be is the best of UK comedy. My God. So this is the thing. There's a severe shortage of, I don't know, we should talk about this on the main app maybe. I don't know. Maybe not.

Severe shortage of English comedians. Not a lot of people travelling over and everything. So I just started that up and thought, oh, there's plenty of comics who want gigs. Because there used to be, before the Rona, there would be, like the festival would bring people out, but then there would also just be a ton of UK people who would just go, fuck it, I'm going to fly myself over.

I'm not going to wait for the offer from the cushy offer of the comedy festival. I just want to get out there, do spots, have a bit of a working holiday, try and find myself an Australian wife. Just Jeff Green and Ross Noble just end up living in this beautiful country. But obviously, so there were a lot of people

kind of floating around that were from other countries that were looking for spots. Traditionally, there's a lot of UK acts over here for Comedy Festival. And so you'd think this would be easy to do. Not so much this year. There's like four. Yeah.

I think all of them live here now anyway. Yes. All of that. All of that. And so the first night I was like, fuck. And I've ended up having to get Danny McGinley to host. I'm like, well, he's got a Mac in his surname, but I'm like feeling ashamed going, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this.

And McGinley's out there with a Scottish accent for the first two minutes before then dropping it and then going, the jig's up. And then, you know, fair enough, like getting into just stuff about his family who are from the UK. I'm like, all right, we've gotten away with that one. But like, feel a bit bad. It's a bit of a rip off to these people or whatever. But then I find out the other shows around town. I'm the most authentic UK show there is chris franklin's hosting one yeah nice that's pretty good it's like and they're going other other shows are getting away with it or trying to get away with it going oh you know the obligatory aussie spot uh is the aussie guest

yeah that's hang on there's no obligatory spot yeah yeah what are you talking about that's not a thing yeah that's not expected? That's not a thing. That's not expected. You don't go, the best of this, and then go, well, you know how we always do this and have not the best of the UK. No, no, no, that's what it says on the box. One spot of someone you could see any other week of the year. Well, I can't wait to hear how your other showcase,

Best of African Comedy, goes. You've asked me to do it, and I don't know. I'm using my best judgment here. The conditions that you said I have to adhere to, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. Well, man, you've changed your name once to another ethnic-sounding nationality. I don't think asking you to perform as Tommy Zulu is that big of a stretch.

Yeah. I think that's fine. No, well, the name change isn't the thing that I had the most issue with. It's all the other stuff. It's like... The tints change. That's the top line.

That's the top line where you've gotten me in with that and then once you started to read the fine print where things that I was having to do to my face, I was like, not really into.

I don't know. It's a bit of a stretch. Well, come down every night to see... I don't need the 60 bucks that bad. To come down to see The Comedy Must Be Crazy where Tommy Zulu is emceeing

with a Coke bottle hitting him on the head every night 7pm at the European Beer Cafe it's going to be fuck it's worth doing almost to be able to do up that poster

the comedy must be crazy and it's like yeah make a little trailer where it's like the plane and they're just throwing microphones at it fuck it's really got me it's pretty

the comedy must be crazy the comedy must be crazy yeah it's pretty good fuck what a shame what crazy. The comedy must be crazy. Yeah, it's pretty good. Fuck, what a shame. What a shame that you couldn't get away with it because it's almost worth being... You know what? I'm going to say it.

It's worth being cancelled for. It's worth the cancelling to just roll that one out. Just the idea of someone getting away with the comedy must be crazy, colon, the best of African comedy. Yeah, oh yeah yeah that's great that's so good yeah really driving

the point home oh my god alright well we gotta we gotta push on head to patreon.com slash little dum dum club

if you would like to support the show on patreon get two bonus episodes every week with great special guests always a lot of fun on them

but most importantly you go into the draw to get your name read out that is it but just just sorry just to the drawer to get your name read out that is it but just just sorry just to go back to it just in case you don't know it's a play on the words that the title of the gods must be crazy that movie from about 1982 or something like that but i like it that if you don't know that and you just go to a show this african theme

that's called the comedy must be crazy because it's from Africa. It sounds fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen the film but I like to think that it's one of those films that you know it. You know the name.

You know the reference. Yeah. Even if you've never seen it. Yeah. But probably not. Yeah. It probably would be like 16-year-olds who are like,

this is fucked. Yeah. No, I would say probably the majority of people are going, what the fuck, except for Tony Martin. Yeah, yeah. true, true.

But yeah, thanks to everyone who subscribes. Really appreciate it. You know, an absolute pleasure to go through the, to see these names pop up and you go, wow, it is crazy to think that these people that we've never heard of, that have never even hit us up, have been continuing to just give us money and not have anything in return apart from us

simply reading their names out and mildly calling them a cunt at some point the patreon must be crazy yes and it is going to be crazy this week it's going to be crazy this every week every one of these names is going to have a verbal coke bottle thrown at their head yeah starting with this first cab off the rank first coke out of the plane straight onto the bonce off thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Adam Woods clonk okay bonk right

on the fucking noggin big Woody himself mmm A Woods you'd have to go by Woody surely

mmm well yeah you'd think so Woodsy is Woody as a first name is that is that short for anything

is that Woodrow Woodrow so Woody Harrelson is Woodrow? Woodrow. So Woody Harrelson is Woodrow Harrelson. I would imagine Woody first came around from Woodrow, and then it's one of those things where, you know, like you. Well, not like you. There are people called Tommy instead of being called Thomas.

Okay, sure, sure. On the birth certificate. So now Woody's. So Woody's come from Woodrow, and now it's become its own legit name. Okay. Yeah, I would imagine. Just to clear up, not this guy's name. But yes, unless Adam Woods is his nickname, and his name is actually Adam Woodrow's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be. It's just his full name nickname. Yeah. Can you have a full name nickname? Yeah. So your full name nickname is Tommy Das. Yeah.

I guess in that way. Yeah. I'll get called that from time to time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Carl Chan. I don't really get too much of that. Carl Chan. Yeah.

Well, that sounds like a different person altogether. Carl, yeah. Carl 4 Chan. I get a bit of that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice, nice. But yeah, Woody. What do you think of Woody Harrelson?

You a fan? As a person. As a person. As a performer. Yeah, man. Part of one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. Cheers. And then True Detective Season 1. I watched a bit of that the other night.

Just a little clips come up on the random selector on YouTube. And I was like, I'll go in for a couple of little greatest hits. The Yellow King. Yeah. I've been meaning to re-watch that because I didn't really feel at the time like it stuck the landing. But maybe I would appreciate it more now knowing that that ending was coming. Because I was in the camp of feeling like it was going to be this, like, like it was like a mystery series.

It was going to have like a very satisfying kind of conclusion. And I felt a bit left in the cold. I can't remember what happened, to be honest. Me either, really. I just remember being a bit left in the cold I can't remember what happened to be honest me either really I just remember being a bit like oh yeah so maybe knowing

that that's coming would be better I my girlfriend while she's been sick has just been taking down absolute rot movies

just from dust till dawn knocked off all of Twilight all of them knocked off all of the Hunger Games right which features Woody Harrelson

right some good ass people in that movie okay never seen it Woody Philip Seymour Hoffman Knocked off all of the Hunger Games. Right. Which features Woody Harrelson. Right. Some good ass people in that movie. Okay. I've never seen it. Woody, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Stanley Tucci. Some fucking greats in there. Yeah.

Taking a nice little paycheck for doing a film for teenagers. But yeah, I love Woody. He's great. Yeah. No, he's good. What else have we got? Something recently that I didn't mind. He was in an episode of Curb.

Oh, that's right. Was he himself? He was himself. Oh, he got the gig. Yep. Got the gig. Nice. Did we talk about this in that most recent series?

How? Yes. I think we did. Vince Vaughn is playing a character. Playing someone else. Vince Vaughn doesn't get to be Vince Vaughn. Yeah. But Woody gets to be Woody.

Everyone else gets to be. I think it's Vince Vaughn and Patton Oswalt are the only people who rock up who are playing characters everyone else gets to be themselves yeah

it's fair enough with Patton I guess fair enough with Patton but to say that you know Patton and Vince are getting the same curb privileges

is pretty absurd yeah Patton's not in Wedding Crashers I mean no god yeah I mean that's a good

that's actually a good point of working things out. It's like, Curb Your Enthusiasm, you're not big enough to be on Curb as yourself, but it's like, Wedding Crashers

probably made $400 million. Yeah, that would be funny. Like, I wonder if... I mean, that's a funny like Curb episode where it's like even more meta than it is usually.

Larry casting someone as a character in a show that he's making in curb yeah and then being like what i'm not famous enough to play myself yeah and that's the whole ep the whole arc of the ep is them trying to like convince larry that they are famous enough yeah yeah people are coming up to them and getting photos and they're like they're saying to larry like see yeah and then the person's like yeah where are you from you know it's like a lot of that

kind of stuff what if what if Curb Your Enthusiasm was around today that's what they could be doing yeah Curb 2000

yes well thanks Adam Woods thanks Adam Woodrow unless sorry unless unless Adam is short for something as well

Adamantium Woodrows what about what about if this guy's middle name was Porno? Oh. Porno hidden in the woods. That's good. That's good. And also, yeah, it's pretty porny already.

You've got A Woods. It sounds like that. Wood meaning erection. I've got a woods. Like there's a porn performer called Woody Long. Yep. The long list of... Well, that's what the guy who has two penises says when called Woody Long. Yep. You know, the long list of... Well, that's what the guy who has two penises says when he gets erect.

Yes. I've got a Woody's. I've got a Woods. I've got Woods. I mean, you... Yeah. I've got a forest down there. I'm turned on.

Have you got Woods? Do you know Woods? Thanks, Woodrosy. Thanks, Woodsy. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Nicholas Lum. Donk. There's the second bottle, coke bottle falling from the plane. Lum.

L-U-M. Nicky Lum. This is tough. It's just a bit bewildering. Yeah. Where do you pluck that surname from? It's pretty dull. I hate to say it.

It's not. I wouldn't say it's dull it's just like what what the fuck it's like a it's really like sound effect yeah yeah it's yeah i was about to say it's um it's batman 50s tv series someone getting kicked in the nads it's you know you know it is that's the that's the coke bottle hitting you on the head from the plane yeah yeah or maybe it's more like a it's got an echoey kind of feel to it. So it's more like a, more like an oil drum. Right.

Hitting you. Right. Lum. Well, I've, you know what, I'm doing my research. I'm looking it up and I really hope, I really hope this is the guy. I really do not think it will be, but I'm really hoping it is. do not think it will be, but I'm really hoping it is.

There's a Nicholas Lum who is representing Australia in table tennis. Cool. Who's getting IOC scholarship funding for Paris 2024 as part of the Australian Olympic team. Do we have an Olympic Patreon subscriber?

Potential Olympian. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Fuck. No, what I love more is that if this is the guy, he's receiving IOC scholarship funding, which means we're receiving IOC scholarship funding. Part funded by the IOC. By the Olympics, basically.

Yeah. Yeah. We are an Olympic podcast. This week's fifth name,an antonio samaran comedy that's why well that makes sense you know i think because of this because in honor of this of this olympian potential olympian we should just do the amount of uh patreon subscribers this this week as there are as there are olympic rings yeah that's that's nice yeah When you say, have you Googled this and that's where that's come up? Or is this if you looked him up on Facebook?

Facebook. Right. So, I mean, I've got, my Facebook says that my last two jobs were Burger King and Rio Tinto. So this could just be table tennis at Olympics slash School of Hard Knocks. No, this is a verified Table Tennis Australia page. Okay. The official Facebook page.

It's got the tick on it and everything. Okay. And it's saying that. And then I found another, Nicholas Lemon, he's got a table tennis bat in his profile. So, story checks out. That's a bit. Having said that. It's a comic, like, whose profile pic is them on stage.

It's a bit, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's trying a bit hard. We get it. When it's just your personal page, it's like, who's this for? Yeah. Now, look, I'm putting all my eggs in that basket. However, I am really trying my best to ignore that there is another Nicholas Lum that comes up on my Facebook.

And the photo's him over a slow cooker. He's got a cartoon dinosaur and he lives in adelaide so i'm really tipping that that's the real one hey there could be it could be the same person that could be his uh you know friends and family only account right and then the table tennis photo is like that's the public page yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but i doubt it it could be a bit of, you know, he's one step away from changing the Facebook name to Lickalus. Oh. Lickalus Num. Lickalus Num.

Lickalus Num is fucking, that's a great porn name. That's good. That's a very sweet. Lickalus Num. That's a sweet. Spoonerism. But, look. Yeah, look.

It seems like a little bit more likely, but I'm kind of thinking. I'm putting my eggs in the basket. I'm being optimistic. It's the ping pong dude. That's what I'm saying. Yep. That's what I'm saying. And if it's not, don't let us know.

Get your fucking ass out there and start learning ping pong. And use this as an inspiration. Become the most famous Nicholas Lum you can be in Australia. You've only got one to beat. Yep. Stop fucking around with these cartoons and get on the table. You probably, if you've got a little anime cartoon as your profile picture, you're probably well aware of this,

that there's a great manga series called Ping Pong. So read a bit of that, study up, learn the craft from that Japanese comic book, and then get out there and put it into practice. Thanks, Nicholas. Thanks for the money, and here's your homework. Yep. Thanks, Lummi.

Lummi, Lummi, Lummi. I've got your Patreon money in my tummy. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Third Coke bottle out of the plane, bonking you on the head. These Patreon reads must be crazy Especially this one Thank you to Lee Cutler Cutler

Yeah Interesting The most famous Cutler I know of Is the famous restaurant I've never been to Called Cutler & Co Cutler & Co Over your way a little bit more I should go there actually

Steakhouse sort of But you need to go there I don't quite know what sort of food it is I wouldn go there actually. Steakhouse? Sort of? But we didn't go there. I don't quite know what sort of food it is. I wouldn't say it's a steakhouse but it's fancy. It's like calling

Rockpool a steakhouse. It's a steak inclined restaurant. It's the focus of what they do I believe. Oh is it? Okay I didn't know that.

I think so. Alright. I think so. I like a bit of and co. Yeah it's good. It's good. And how did it get to and co? Like, the first person to wedge that in is a bit clunky to go, you know, instead of saying

company, you just say co. It's like, really? Well, I mean, everything's and co, really. It's like, you can't tell me that this restaurant started and it's a one-man operation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cutler's in there. He's seating you. He's taking the order.

Yeah. Then he's racing off to the kitchen. He is the little ding of the people walking in. Cutting a in there. He's seating you. He's taking the order. Then he's racing off to the kitchen. He's the little ding of the people walking in. Cutting a bit of meat off his own buttock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the one-man band where he's like cooking himself. He's doing the whole thing. So in company, that would include the cows and stuff as well.

Maybe that's what Co's short for. Cutler and cows. Cutler and cows. Yeah. Interesting. But that's a bit graphic. Because it is a collaboration, ultimately. Every restaurant is a collaboration between the...ler and cows. Yeah. Interesting. But like that's a bit graphic. So he's going. Because it is a collaboration ultimately. Every restaurant is a collaboration between the.

Man and beast. Between man and beast. Vegetable. Yeah. And dead thing. Yeah. So well I'm glad that they've recognized that in their title. Yeah.

Instead of just saying this is just the one man band Cutler. Here I am. It makes every other restaurant seem sort of. Selfish. D of dishonest. Yeah. Because they're hiding the fact that, you know. They're taking the plaudits. Well, you know, what's it called?

Grossy Florentino. You know, they're having you believe that it's just old Grossy himself. Yeah. Just him. Yep. Just doing it all, is he? That's what you're sucking up. Yep.

There's no. Off the plate. Those noodles. Yeah. They're doing it all, is he? That's what you're sucking up. Yep. There's no... Off the plate. Those noodles, they're his pubes, are they? There's not a guy called Dave in the kitchen doing at least some of the heavy lifting. What about those plates that are nice and clean when they have stuff put on them? You're telling me they just magically rinsed themselves off in the sink? Yeah, look, it's a good point. I am changing my comedy club name from not just Carl Chandler, and I am every performer on tonight,

to Carl Chandler, I'm every performer on tonight, and company. And co. Yeah. And cows. And cows. Yeah, there's going to be some cows up there. A few bovines getting up there, letting rip.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Cutler. Thanks, Lee Cutler. I hope you're part of that. Well, I hope you're part of, I hope that's either you. That'd be great if we have a steak restaurateur a um a ping pong champ and a um what did we say adam woods was just someone with a fucking weird name not not that weird name yeah pornographer pornographer big dick big dicked dude.

Steak, someone who's mates with cows until he chops them up and a ping pong dude. Yeah. Great. Great. What a great bunch of... Ping pong dude. Yeah. It's an official title. Ping ponger.

Ping ponger. Yeah. Yeah. Ping pongist. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Rosie Harris. Okay. I like the name Rosie. It's a nice name. Yeah, the name Rosie. It's a nice name.

Yeah, it's fine. It's okay. You don't like it? No, it's fine. I'm really trying to get in my head what I do feel about it. I don't have a strong enough feeling. You know what I think is weird is that there's Rose and Rosie. The idea that a parent would be into one, I'll be fucked if I'm having

the letter I in my child's name. Yeah. Is it still short for Rosemary or is that just a separate name? Rosie. I would imagine that in 2022, you would find that the majority of them are just like Rosemary's Rosemary's gone. Yeah. They're not.

It's like we were talking about before. They're just gone straight to Rosie. Straight to Rosie. No time for abbreviations. Just make the abbreviation the thing. Yep. Yeah, Rosie's fine. I'll cop that.

Rose is, I guess, yeah, Rosie's the cooler version of Rose, is it? But this is what I mean. Like, the idea that you would have parents, because they're so similar. They're kind of the same thing, but they're different enough that I can imagine there being a big argument between a couple over which one you're going for. There would be a lot of roses off the back of Titanic, would there not be? A lot of people being called Rose Dad.

Perhaps, yeah, from fucking absolutely lame couples naming their kid after Titanic, sure. Yes, yes. So if that's the case there would be what was Titanic 90 97 I think was it right so whatever that means so you're 25 now or so that's crazy yeah so this could be a this could be a Titanic baby could be what would be what are the babies this year in terms of right we've got a lot of roses in years ago from Titanic. What's the name this year from popular culture? Who's being born in 2022 and being called?

Oh, yeah, okay. Slap. Slap. Right. In honor of the Oscars. Right. My favorite pop cultural moment. Honey, we've got to call our kid.

Yeah. We've got to name our kid after will smith slapping chris rock at the oscars after that act of violence the best thing we saw on tv this year yeah it's like all it's it's as if all the think pieces will just be about our child yeah yeah like that old thing of like you know a kid was called brooklyn because we're in new york when we were consummated we i was i was blowing my load yes uh load as Chris Rock was doing a monologue. Yeah, yeah. We had the Oscars on in the background

while we were making Whoopi. Two days after that happened, I was at the gym and one of the trainers came up to me. He knows I do comedy and he was like, have you heard about this Will Smith, Chris Rock thing?

Great. Which I love. Not have you watched it, not did you see it. Have you heard about it? That's great that Jay Leno is working at your gym. And I really regret now not being like what yeah and then being and then just like leave being

like i have to go make some calls just like pretending that it like inside this gives me an idea have you got a pen trying to like build build my crate up at the gym in in the way of like pretending that this does have some kind of personal ramification for me and my work yeah i'm so deeply connected to chris rock that i need to yeah i need to leave and check that he's okay yeah i need to get on the direct line that i have to him and a trainer has got ahead of you on this one yeah from a guy in the industry you're you're two days slow yeah but the but a, traditionally the sharpest of all tools. Not just an industry event, but something that for 24 hours there, it seemed like, like I reckon my parents would have known it had happened.

And they're, you know, they're not super, they're not looking for this stuff. No. They're not watching the Oscars. Yeah. But yeah, other cultural stuff that I think a kid is getting named after. Fuck, what else is there? what else is there that's been big oh like maybe some tiger king nicknames like maybe like uh was tiger king two years ago now though or not yeah okay you want you want it strictly this year not yeah but look i'll cop

that as well but i do like the idea that carol coming back in or having like exotic as a middle name right yeah yeah yeah Probably a bit of that. Yeah. That's just like the last really, really massive. Maybe like Euphoria. I could see there being like some kids named after characters from that. Right. The main character's name is Rue.

Right. Okay. I could see there being some Rue babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is coming off the back of, like we say, sometimes a comedy festival. There's not a theme, but there's a lot of people jumping on one bandwagon to try and move some tickets. A few years ago, there was about seven shows about Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones.

Yeah, was there a lot of babies from eight years ago called Meth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see there being like um you know succession people love succession kieran culkin's character is called roman there you go i could see that coming back yeah roman he's like referred to by everyone else's roman but his dad calls him romulus so i think his full name's romulus and then roman's like a so i could see parents going that's pretty fucking cool calling the kid romulus yeah well poor old rosie harris i presume is is is she's a 90s baby or whatever that was and she's been named half after um rose from titanic

and half after um apollo 11's um one of the lead actors ed harris that's her last name harris so it's rosie harris right changed her last name to that as well. Right, right, right. I think it's just a big tribute to popular 90s movies. The parents, they're probably called something else completely. They've just renamed her after their favorite blockbuster releases of the 90s. Yeah, they probably conceived her at a drive-in where they were called a double feature. In a blockbuster.

In a blockbuster. Yeah. I would have told this before. told this sperm donor through the return shoot i would have told this before but going to the drive-in once with my parents when i was a kid and like watching it was some just fucked kids movie and it was like so bad even i i was like 11 even i was like this is a bad movie and we got 10 minutes in and my dad's just gone nah just turn the engine on. Because it was what, you know, they've got like multiple screens.

He's like, nah, didn't even consult the family. Engine on, drives out, just goes to another screen at random. And that was how I ended up watching that thing you do for the first time. Oh, wow. What a happy ending. Yeah. Dad really peed, wasn't he? He was just like doing laps around like, ah, what looks kind of good?

This will do. Just park it in here. That's how you were introduced to the Oneidas. Exactly. Yeah. Well, that's terrific. Great judgment from Pa Daslo. Well, thanks, Rosie Harris.

Appreciate all you've done for us. And good for you and both your names there. Look, there's one ring left yep uh on the olympic patreon read this week there's one bottle left in the uh patreon african plane the uh the patreon subscribers must be crazy and this is this is the fifth crazy patreon subscriber for this week thank you very much oh okay oh this is unusual wow okay a little bit of detail here. You know, people know about this roughly, don't we? I think we talked about this a while back where people get... I think you were signed up for...

I'm fading so fast. You were signed up to be an MCG member, an MCC member? Yep. I was an MCC member. You were one. You were signed up at... You need to be signed up at birth. Yep.

Grandpa went and did it before he came to the hospital to see me for the first time. Yep. Well, we've got one of these. We signed up at birth. Yep. Grandpa went and did it before he came to the hospital to see me for the first time. Yep. Well, we've got one of these. We signed up from birth. A child. This child's only one week old. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Slap Comedy.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Pretty good. I mean, that is what happened. I guess that...

He did some comedy and he got slapped. I don't know if we've talked about this, but, you know, sometimes people are named after, you know, popular things in popular culture. Yeah. So that's what's happened there. Have you watched... And the comedy is popular this year. Yeah.

Have you watched... Yeah, just for this year. It's had a bit of a renaissance. Have you watched Ricky Gervais talking about the slap? No. Oh, brother, you've got to treat yourself. No, thank you. And to all the listeners, really treat yourself.

No. It's fucking good stuff. No. I don't want to spoil it. It's good shit. Is it going to make me slap the computer? Yeah, maybe. I'm not going to watch it.

Have a look. All right, guys. Thanks, Ricky Gervais. Thanks, Slap Comedy. Thanks, everyone who supports the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Patreon.com slash Little Dumb Dumb Club. Get on there. Get yourself the bonus episodes. Check out the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Patreon.com slash Little Dumb Dumb Club. Get on there. Get yourself the bonus episodes.

Check out the live pods we have coming up. Melbourne. The 16th, the 23rd, the 24th of April. Tasmania. April 30th. 30th.

LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all that stuff. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate.