The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 611 - Lawrence Mooney & Lehmo

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

It’s the long-overdue return of LAWRENCE MOONEY and LEHMO! Mooney’s tight-lipped about his recent employment termination but that doesn’t stop us from trying to get any scrap of gossip out of him. Meanwhile, Lehmo’s Cleo Bachelor of the Year photoshoot has been a hit in a very unexpected place, we go deep on Mooney’s photoshoot for the Melbourne Museum and his past life as a customs dog handler, and we issue a challenge for any new parents out there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Lawrence Mooney and Limo. If you are in Perth, you can come and see us live very soon, July the 16th at the Rosemount Hotel. It's a live podcast with some great special guests, plus a stand-up show, all in the one ticket. Only a handful of tickets left, so get onto littledumbdumbclub.com right now and snap them up. I am also doing my solo show, Turtle Island, at the Oasis Comedy Club the night before, the 15th of July. Tickets for that are at tommydassolo.com. Love to see you over there in Perth.

Can't wait for those shows. But until then, enjoy this brand-new episode with guests Lawrence Mooney and Limo. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead.

We have a great episode for you today. Two very special guests. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Lawrence Mooney and Limo. Thank you very much, Tommy. Yes. Hey, Lames. One breakfast radio host and one ex-breakfast radio host. Yes, that is correct.

And recording this in Melbourne where I come back. And two cunts that will never be breakfast radio hosts. Don't say never. Although radio for the print handicapped is pretty much gone now. Can't even read the newspaper on the radio anymore. Damn, they're one in. Because basically people with, you know, affected eyesight can expand it on their tablets if they can find them. The one chance we had, it's gone. Fuck.

See, I've never had a desire. I've never had a dream of doing radio, really. But what I have had a dream. Oh, it's a dream. What I have had a dream of having done is getting sacked from radio and just getting paid to not do radio anymore. That is the dream. Moon and I, well, I can't speak to getting sacked from radio and just getting paid to not do radio anymore. That is the dream. Moon and I, well, I can't speak to getting sacked and not getting paid

because I've always been boned at the end of contracts. Oh, sure. Which is my only sacking where I kept getting paid was the footy show. Oh. Because we got sacked after six weeks. Two of them six weeks. It took them six weeks. I know. Oh, six weeks. It took them six weeks. I know.

Oh, trust me. I think the first tweet calling for my sacking was two minutes into episode one. Oh, great. I do remember I worked on that with you, Limo. And I'll tell you what, I did not get paid after it got the ass. But I do remember the ratings of the last episode were slightly below the amount of downloads we get on this show. And the final episode numbers were up on the week before. Oh, right.

Yeah, great. I did speak to you during that period because I knew that you were under the pump and it's hard to bring back what had been a mega star show in terms of ratings across the journey from 1994. Yeah. It had been rated, you know, in the high 30s at its peak because there was no other football news on, you know.

Fox footy wasn't there. There wasn't anything else. No internet, no nothing. No, nothing. And so, yeah, I was speaking to you because we also had pitched an idea for a footy show. We had. Well, in the early days of this, you, me and Marty were at one point in time.

That was looking to be the show. We were looking for that to be the show. But it just never happened. It never happened. Yeah, there was a bit of back and forth. But I thought that the problem with the show was the length of the panel, which is about three and a half kilometres long. And by the time he'd got through Neria and Dylan Alcott and Fev and the former Prime

Minister of Papua New Guinea, Croft. Just as you're getting out of Zone 3 into Zone 2. The Mayor of Hurst Bridge. The Kelly Gang. And that's all we've got time for. It was a bit much going on there. It was such a shit idea to have so many people on that fucking panel. So when you say you were messaging Lima while the show was happening,

was the text like, sucked in cunt? You should have done it with me and Marty. It would have been better. I can understand how difficult that is. Smiling through gritted teeth as this man always does. Well, I tell you what. Always. This will show you how much power.

He's smiling now. This will show you how much power I had in that arrangement. When I was first asked to do it, I said, I'll do it under three provisos. It's not called the footy show. It's not a big, shiny floor show. It's small. No one on the panel in a wheelchair. Small, low, five.

Couchy. Couchy. All right. I don't want my name associated with that. And the third one was that there'd be three people. Yeah. Right? So it's just small, lo-fi.

Now that is starting to sound a bit like the front bar, but, and also the idea was front bar do nostalgia. We do current players, right? So there's a point of difference. And the teams, right? So there's a point of difference. Anyway, night one, huge shiny floor, massive desk. It's called the footy show.

And I'm watching the floor director go, three, two, one, point to me. And I say, welcome to the footy show. I'm like, fuck. I've heard that before somewhere. I like the idea that you didn't know about any of this until, as you say, at night one. Where you're just kept in the dark until you're walking in to actually do the show. What happened to this tennis show I pitched? It's all different in rehearsals.

You know in a movie where someone's hanging from a rope, then they have the close-up of the strands of the rope breaking? Like fraying, yeah. Right. That was me trying to hang on to the original idea. Slowly, over a few months, the strands of the rope break. When I watched episode one, I was more reminded of the final flight of the Concorde, which is on fire as it took off

from Charles de Gaulle Airport and just banked around and disappeared into the bush. By the way, this is a magnificent deflection considering I started talking about your radio career and I turned into Limo and I'm into Lemo, coughing it up the arse on his TV show. It's beautifully done.

And we will get to Moon, but I... Well, I can't really comment on it, other than to say, read from a prepared statement, that Lawrence Mooney, or Mooney versus SCA, will not proceed to the Supreme Court of New South Wales and has been settled before the litigation continued. Wow. I didn't know that. So there is no problem between you and the parent company anymore.

It is just such a sweet, sweet relationship. It was just a long goodbye. It was just, you know, you've met someone backpacking around Europe and you've been fucking in the youth hostel. And it's like, I'm going to go to the Bavarian beer fest. And she's like, listen, I'm going to stay in Paris. And you think, ah, fuck it, I'll stay for a couple more nights and just see how this works out.

And then, you know, you get a bad case of gonorrhea. And your penis hurts and weeps from the eye. Right. And you wind up in Bavaria with your undies stuck to your knob. Okay. This is where... That'll make sense. So this is...

I like that. It doesn't make any sense. Also, your arsehole is bleeding. Someone drugged you. Right. That's the color we were talking about. And anally raped you. They stuffed a lot of cash in.

Hang on, was that the settlement? Was that the thing you wanted out of this? How much did we settle for again? Count the cash as you pull it out of your arsehole. I got anally raped. That's what I asked for. That's why we didn't have to go to court. So the contract is it's a bit like a dog that's been sent to a farm to live.

You know? It's still there. It's been sent to a nice farm. He prefers it there. He loves it there. Space to run. Then can bark at the sheep. I love that Moon, over the years, Moon has built a reputation where he will say

whatever the fuck he wants, whenever the fuck he wants. And now one exception has arisen where the lawyers are involved and the NDA has been signed. Well, the little goblins that listen to this would have been absolutely salivating

to see Moon's name come up in the episode description. I can't even tell you the name of what was signed. You can't even tell you the name of what was signed. You can't discuss anything. And my lawyers... I'd love to sign something to stop me from doing something. Like, no one gives a fuck enough. Do whatever the fuck you want, whoever you are. My lawyers sat me down and said,

okay, we've reached a settlement. I think we can say that. And please, please abide by the terms of the settlement. Which I am. But we can say whatever we want. You can say, what the fuck, you know what?

You can hypothesise as much as you like and I'll sit here and not respond. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, absolutely. You run through a whole lot of different scenarios of what happened inside that building and then following. Right. No, because I actually didn't know that there had been a settlement. All I see is the news and stuff like that where it's like, oh, there's a bit of back and forth and whatever,

and I didn't see any press release in terms of it being closed or anything. In fact, I talked to you last week we're recording this at the Basement Comedy Club before we go to Spleen of which you are emceeing tonight and I didn't know

it had been settled because you know just a week ago I was negotiating with you to do it and you were pushing me for the price so I'm like

fuck Moon hasn't settled yet he's got no money like he's about to do a fucking dive bar open my gig and I'm getting fucking pushed on the money.

Did he push you from $100 to $125? Yeah. That's what I fucking like with Chandler, because he goes, oh, this is the price. And you go, oh, all right, that's not too bad. He goes, that includes GST. It's like, oh, fuck off. I don't want to divide something by 11, you cunt.

What's 75 divided by 11? Exactly. So you end up with 600. Now you're pushing the price up as well. You end up with $682. You're like, nah. It was 750 and now it's 682. And it's chatty again.

Fuck, I knew you should have signed a form with me last week when we did this fucking spleen contract. I just realised I am pushing the price up. I've only ever been paid 50 bucks to do spleen. Oh, no, spleen you'd get, fuck all. You get the old Jeff Phillips whisper in the ear and handshake with the folded up notes. Turn your phones to silence.

You used to get the cash at Spleen, not anymore. Not in this newfangled age where there's no one on the bucket at the door putting any cash in. It's all... Oh, no cash. No, there's no cash. Yeah, no cash. There's no cash not here. I actually,

speaking of our cashless society, walked past a homeless guy, or homeless is not the term anymore. What is the term? Displaced? Sleeping rough? No, it is... Displaced?

What about that? That's not bad. Dehomed, I think it is. Dehomed? Dehomed? Wow. Without a person without home. Right, right.

They don't identify as having a home. Yeah, anyway. What's the problem with homeless? Because it's, I don't know, someone decided that it was too pejorative and, you know, to putting the onus on the person to go and get a home. I thought the issue might be that it's houseless.

They might have chosen. Right. Because a home is where you make it, right? Oh, of course. That's a very good point. Your home can be that sleeping bag out the front of 7 and get a home. I thought the issue might be that it's houseless. They might have chosen. Right. Because a home is where you make it, right? Oh, of course. That's a very good point. Your home can be that sleeping bag out the front of 7-Eleven. That's a very good point. You've got the boys there.

My home is where the heart is. Yes. Exactly. Shall we sing? Anyway, we'll pass this homeless guy on Swanson Street. Oh, come on, mate. Yeah, thank you. Oh, you are the worst.

Babe, you are so woke. You've got it so right. Now we're going to have to fucking censor this podcast. I walk past this, beep. Come on, mate. You can't even bring yourself to say it. And he goes, have you got some change? And I said, I haven't.

But if I did have some, I'd give you some. And he goes, can you buy me some food? And I said, I haven't, but if I did have some, I'd give you some. And he goes, can you buy me some food? And I said, yes, I will. So I went into 7-Eleven. I said, pie or sausage roll? He goes, oh. Oh, it's been juicy. You're all right.

Oh, sausage roll. Right. I said, sauce? And he goes, yeah, thanks. So it actually felt better to have that interaction. Yeah. It's like one of those amazon wish lists now it's not just like do whatever the fuck you want with it it's like it's like he's on only fans yeah

i've thought about you know uh because i was heading into a financial crisis after radio of getting an OnlyFans page. Yes. Oh, yes. Because you used to do that shit for free. What do you use? Would you pay me to wank for it? Yeah. But just imagine, like, how's your OnlyFans page going? In the last months, I made seven bucks,

and it's just the same book. The Melbourne Museum was sort of your only fans for a bit. Oh, yes. There's a new review up in there. We've never talked about this on this show, but there used to be a photo of you. A life-size photo of me in the mind and body section or life and body section of me holding my baby at the time. In the absolute nutty.

In the absolute nutty. In the absolute nutty. And my partner, my first wife, Beck, had answered an ad when she was pregnant to get photographed for this because they wanted a pregnant woman. And so she said the person, the woman that shot her, said, when the baby's born, can we get a picture of the baby as early as possible because

we're doing this you know arc of birth to death or youngest to oldest so it was this whole wall of different nudes yep um and so beck said yeah absolutely so we took lily in when she was like a few days old just out of hospital hospital. And the photographer said, hey, Dad, why don't you get your gear off and hold Lily? And it was way before manscaping. My balls looked like an Hasidic Jew. They had the full ringlets down the side, grey beard, felt hat. Like, I was furry. Not getting in the car on Sundays.

I had to be home by 4.30 on a Friday. My balls were kosher. And so I'm holding the baby. It's like, you know, could have got some sun, could have done some push-ups, but there I was. El Natural, and that was there for 10 years. Now, I had a friend called Bernie Kelly. I still have a friend, haven't seen him for a while.

And he worked at the museum doing kids' adventures. He'd be dressed up like Indiana Jones, and he'd take them through, you know, show them dinosaur bones and whatever, but take them through the whole museum. Anyway, he said whenever they came to the life and body exhibit, the kids would run through touching the genitals, laughing their heads off. Like, eee! And he said, so it was somebody's job to nifty kids' fingerprints off my genitals, laughing their heads off. Like, ooh. And he said, so it was somebody's job to nifty kids' fingerprints off my genitals every afternoon.

Oh, wow. And at the museum. Oh, yes. There you go. Boo! That's where I'm at. You know what? I pride myself at seeing shit like that come,

and I didn't see it coming. So well done. Well done. Got him. Got him. Horrific for those kids. That baby is now in her 20s. That baby is 22 years old.

So how does that baby feel now about that picture? Well, that picture was removed from that exhibit. They decided to change the exhibit. It went in actually for longer than 10 years. It went for 14 years. So she was still going there as a kid. And I was like, there's your dad. And it's like, yeah, that's me.

So there was a bit of pride attached to it. And Beck was there too, fully pregnant as well. And so when they took the exhibit down, they said, do you want the photo? And I said, yeah, absolutely. So they cut it out. You know, it was on core flute or that kind of material at the back and we had it on Dirty Laundry Live on the ABC.

So right at the end of the show, I told the story and I said, and now I've got the photo. And so they lowered it down and I was sitting next to Zoe Coombs-Marr and she goes, and now I've got the photo and so they lowered it down and I was sitting next to Zoe Coombs-Marr and she goes, oh my God! I said, it's a penis, Zoe. That you can just identify through the massive boobs. It was like Hansel and Gretel just lost in the woods.

Just popping out for a look at night time. Yeah, yeah, trying to follow breadcrumbs on its way out. Like a sea enemy lost in the kelp. Every time a wave went past, you go, oh, there it is. No, no. So when you went in, when you go in with your wife, you don't know you're going to be asked to be photographed. No, I thought the baby was going to be photographed.

Everyone but you was going to get photographed in your head. Yeah, well, Beck had already done the photo of her pregnant, given birth. We took the baby and thought we were going to lay it on the floor or a rug. It's like, hey, Dad, get your gear off. It's like, sure. Don't have to ask twice. Don't have to ask twice. Huge escalation in your day.

And so did they tell you at the time, it's like, look, this is going to be up here for a long time? They said it was going to be 10 years, but it went for 13 or 14. I did get some nice feedback. I occasionally get a text like, oh, fuck, I went to the museum on the weekend. Thanks.

Yes. I used to go to the gallon in St Kilda quite a bit and there was a couple of gay waiters in there and one of them came over and goes, I was at the museum on the weekend. Nice. That's not bad. Nice.

Would you do that for you in that position? I reckon that's a good compliment for your penis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you do that girl for you in that position? I reckon that's a good compliment for your penis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. What do you reckon? I did a shoot for Cleo's Bachelor of the Year in 2004. Nice.

I'm doing a photo shoot and they said, do you want to take your shirt off? I said, that is a hard no. Oh. Take your shirt off. Really? So, yeah. And lucky because on the point it was finally...

You're a big brood of a man. I know. But I'm sure you're up against some swimmers and some athletes. On the face of the page when it eventually came out was Chris Tarrant, who plays footy for Conway, with his shirt off, arms up, leaning in a doorway. And he is cut like fucking Arnie. You're the kid in the pool with the shirt on, aren't you?

Yeah, yeah, 100%. So... They would have actually put a big red circle around it, one of those graphics with the narrow man titties. That was me. I was also in Dolly magazine for the trainer bra special. It's in a sealed section. It's just like, just so you know, this is horrific stuff.

Yeah, your girls, you're turning 12, turning into 13. This is what you're going to start to look like, having little boobies like this. Yeah, yeah. Covered in grey hair. Mum, I don't want to grow up. Mum, I don't want to be limo. He's got hairy titties. So the magazine goes out and you know that edition of the magazine

used to be quite popular anyway fast forward like two years i'm out somewhere in adelaide and i bump into i see this woman where you get introduced and she goes ah lemo i've been wanting to see you i said oh yeah why is that she said, I work at Yatla Prison in the sex offenders unit. And you're in it. Good set up. Very good set up. Let's wind this up. I'm all in.

I've been wanting to meet you, Lemo, because I work in the sex offenders part of the prison and I miss you. And somebody tore a hole in your photo. to prison and I miss you. And somebody tore a hole in your photo. She goes, she says, your edition of the Clio magazine was very popular. Wow.

I'm like, great. Because of you or because of Chris Barron? No, she was kind of telling me that I was more like a sex offender than a champion footballer. I was quite popular in that edition of the Clio magazine. So they're ripping your photo out of that, sticking it to somebody else's back,

and watching that as they absolutely defile some new inmate. Wow. You should ring up Blu-Tack and get a... Go, lads. An endorsement. That's what they say. If you get ever in prison, day one, walk up to the biggest guy there, suck him off and then go, Limo!

That's how you survive. Have you ever thought of doing some corporates in the sex offenders prison? In the prison? Well, do you know what? My recommendation to you is never become a sex offender because you go out to Yatla and they will destroy you. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, here he comes. It's the weird centre of the Venn diagram.

Young boys and then limo and just right in the middle. You know that thing of like don't ever get caught getting pissed and then urinating near a primary school in the middle of the night getting picked up going that's technically sex offending. You're in there all of a sudden. Dream come true. A limo bakaki. You've clearly been reading my dream book.

That's near the top. It's on the vision board. We had on Yatla, when David hits... Yatla, is that the name of the person? Yatla. Y-A-L-L-A. No, Y-A-T-A-L-A. Yatala. Yatala, right. Pronounce Yatala. Yatla is that the name of the prison? Yatla Y-A-L-L-A no Y-A-T-A-L-A Yatala

Yatala Yatala Yatala okay and so when David Hicks came back to Australia he went to Yatala prison David Hicks terrorist

the terrorist right our own David Hicks Australian forgotten in Guantanamo Bay he's hardly a terrorist wasn't he? probably shot a donkey

with a fucking grenade launcher he was never convicted. Okay, right. Right? And abandoned by this country. Abandoned by Australia. You know, the British government got every one of their subjects out of Guantanamo Bay

and brought them home, and they were imprisoned in the UK. Australia, leave him there. Apologies for, if David's out there listening, apologies. All I was thinking about was that picture of him with a fucking bazooka. Why would I have thought he was a terrorist? Sorry, David. That was at a training camp.

Come on, mate. Calm down, all right? So he comes back. So I'm doing a triple M with Will Anderson. So we ring Yatla and we say, we want to give David Hicks a shout out. What radio station do you listen to? Anyway, we worked out, the guy said,

for the division that he was in, there's one control that goes to all the cells for the radio station. And we said, boy, can you turn it on to Triple M? And he said, yeah, absolutely. So they put it on Triple M and then Will and I... I would have thought in the sex offender wing that Triple M's already pumping through. No, this wasn't the sex offender wing.

Right, okay, right. And so... So, we put up... Anything to add to that? I have nothing to add. I thought I was going to get a laugh from Moon. I thought, no, that's probably in the contract as well. How does that Moon up?

Stop talking about Triple M. So, Will and I do a shout-out to David Hicks, right? And we obviously have no idea whether he's heard it or not. And then I saw Terry Hicks. His dad? A year later, his dad. And Terry Hicks said to me, Oh, David heard your shout-out on the radio

and said to say thanks for thinking of him in prison. So he did hear it. So they're my two Yatla stories for him. He's got huge influence in this prison. Yeah, well, you know. I're my two Yatla stories for him. You've got huge influence in this prison. Yeah, well, you know, I was a man of influence back

in the day. It's a shame that a lot of them don't get to come and see your solo comedy festival show. You should go in there like Johnny

Cash. Yes. The Yatla prison blues. There's one for all you sex fans out there. It's hard to tell how old she is with the lats out.

It's not a defence or a suggestion. It's just a song. Speaking of your de-homed person on the way here that you saw, I saw someone this morning. I haven't done this for a while. I haven't seen a good... I don't think that's it, but I think it's the new homeless de-homed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a good one on the tram.

I haven't had a good crazy person on the tram for a while. And you haven't been in Melbourne for a while, so you wouldn't have, let alone been on public transport, I would imagine. You're not a man of the people anymore. What are you, on the Concorde from Casa Del Mundo? I sent you that clip. I was normally driving to Qantas Valet Parking, and valet parking has been cancelled in

Sydney and they haven't reinstated it and now I'm parking where the people park down Emu Blue parking and I drove out the back there it's like it was on the fucking runway

and I kid you not here's a little sound grab from my parking experience. At the end of the runway. Wow. Just you laughing at how shit your park is. Woo! So this is the long-term car park in Sydney? In Sydney, yeah. I'm going to try that again.

The valet's up and running in Melbourne, I'm pleased to report. You're getting the... That is a fucking plane! A plane going right past the car park as I bid farewell to valet. But it's good. Yeah. It's good to be,

you know, have a levelling experience in your life where it's like, you know what, don't get ahead of yourself, son. That's me,

because my wife quit her job at the airline. I'm no longer on the passes anymore. Oh, no. I'm back fucking waiting for Jetstar sales.

This is a disaster. No good. Is this crippled your sales. This is a disaster. No good. Has this crippled your Thailand experience? Not at all. No, it's just a mere hurdle. Yeah. I know that you love Thailand and the Thai people. And the smiles.

And the smiles and the food. Yes. And you love Thailand like I love Italy. Italy doesn't have the extra baggage of if you go there a lot, everyone thinks you're a pedo. I know, I know. How have you dealt with that? It is a shame.

You know why? It is a shame because I cop all the shit for it without any of the gratification on the other end of it. Like, I don't get any of the payoff. Like, I'm not doing it. It'd be all right to cop it. It still sounds like a copper story. Here we go.

It's starting to be like, well, if I've got the rep, I may as well just... That's right. I swear. I'm working at the bank. I'm not going to get done for stealing pens. Yeah.

Yeah. So, what is the appeal? The appeal? Yeah. Have you ever been to Thailand? Why can you be attracted to there if you're not a pedophile? What possible cause could a person have? Why could you possibly want to go there?

You've been to the Philippines, which I think is even worse. Isn't that good? I went to the Philippines on my honeymoon. Yeah. So it would have been a weird sidestep. Well, I didn't know they were allowed to be married at that age over there, but anyway, okay. Yeah, the dodgy thing would be if he'd gone back by himself three months later. Right. And then every three months

after that. Or Kel just going, every night, Limo would just go, I'm just going to pop out for a five hour walk. And he'd come back sweating in the pool. And he had a stench of shame. Well, speaking of that... He came back with plastic toys.

Speaking of, that was me on the tram this morning. On the tram. Haven't had a nutter on the tram for a while. On the tram, nine o'clock this morning. Bit of a work crew on the tram. This guy, one nutter, just screaming on the tram, which o'clock this morning, bit of a work crew on the tram. This guy, one nutter, just starts screaming on the tram, which I thought, you know, you don't usually get the nutters on the peak hour on people going to work. I thought nutters have a sleep in at the very least. You know, you get a nutter about 10 o'clock.

So he starts screaming. He said, he goes, he screams at someone, he goes, listen, you can't stop fucking staring. Don't look at me again or I will fucking kill you. And everyone just goes, ooh. And then he goes, you fucking pedophile. And then cut back to this guy who's screaming. The guy's 50. I don't think that works.

This guy's not a pedophile. He's looking at a 50-year-old guy. Oh, he was accusing the 50-year-old guy. No, no, no. He was accusing this old, the 50-year-old homeless guy. He was accusing this 50 year old guy no no no he was accusing the 50 year old homeless guy he was accusing this guy of looking

at him and calling him a pedophile on the basis of the fact that he was staring at him maybe he's just got a pedophile spidey sense

and he just goes a rock spidey sense this fucking guy's a pedophile and you can also stop looking at me yeah yeah yeah that's his one talent

it was both I was on the... That'd be a good Marvel action hero, right, Spider-Man? And he just rounds up pedos. Yeah, bitten by a radioactive pedophile. Yeah. And he just goes and catches pedos. You know how dogs can sniff out cancer and COVID?

Yes. What if you could train a dog to sniff out a pedo? Yeah. So then you just... At the airport. Now, that'd be a nice way to be airport. Just centering on the flights to Philippines and Thailand. They did.

I mean, they did it. It's a false reaction. A pedophile touched my suitcase. The taxi driver was a pedophile, not me. They should get those dogs working a bit more. They got them to help with the blind and then they'd suss out drugs. as a pedophile, don't they? They should get those dogs working a bit more. You know, they kind of, they got them to help with the blind and then they'd suss out drugs

and then they just kind of went, that'll do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'd like them to train them to do? You know, like you see one and you go, oh, little dog, I'd love to give him a little pat and they'll have the sign.

They're like, I'm a drug dog. Don't pat me because it's going to fuck up the training. How about you train them to be able to receive a pat and not completely go skits and forget that they're meant to be leading a blind person. Keep the training. How about you train them to be able to receive a pat and not completely go skits and forget that they're meant to be leading a blind person. Keep the training going

another couple of weeks. I was a drug detector dog handler with the Australian Customs Service. You were too. So I know a little bit about training dogs. This is another thing I've never talked to you about.

I was a law enforcement officer for six years. Wow. I was trained to search for drugs and it became a life's passion. Was this a... Love what you do and you'll never work again.

Still to this day, I will hunt the drugs down. I'll take them from my dealer for an exchange of cash. And I'll take those drugs away and I'll destroy them under supervision. Because I don't want them to fall into the hands of the kids, Liam. I love that you're fine to talk about this but not Triple M. That's amazing. My OnlyFans wank page, drugs. Cannot mention other things.

Was this job that you took all those years ago, was this just so you know how to work the system later on in life? No, it was just straight out of school, directionless, answered an ad in the paper, all of a sudden I'm a customs officer and then I became a drug detector dog handler. And the thing that amazes me most about dogs and their olfactory system

is that you can teach them any smell. Basically, it starts as a game of fetch or tug of war, really, and then you introduce drugs into that. So we had this towel dummy and then you tie weed into that so we had this towel dummy and then you tie weed to the end of that and it becomes you know an automatic auto suggestion so they run past that odor and it's like there's the game and bang they swing on it

then you reduce the amount of odor available and then you introduce other drugs including heroin and cocaine which by the way, if you're going to a music festival cocaine doesn't have a readily available odour and it's my contention that the police are training the dogs to react to plastic bags because you can't smell

cocaine through the pocket of somebody's jeans I've seen you trying to smell it a lot over the years, so I thought it must have had an odour. I'm very familiar with how it smells. And it hasn't got a readily available odour. I'm still talking about my law enforcement days here. And so the dogs are responding to plastic bags is my contention.

So your tip to the kids out there today is... Is get it out of plastic and put it in another... Some canvas. Good for the environment too. Oh, lovely. Get it reusable. It's not good for carrying granular things like cocaine. Get in one of those tiny, tiny canvas bags that you could get at a really small Woolworths.

Stick it in your arsehole. Or just store it up your nose or in your mouth. Right. Yeah. Right. They will ask you to open your mouth and run your tongue around. But, yeah, if you want to, you know, smuggle it into a music festival, stick it up your ass.

See, I always wear a suit. That's the official advice from a man. That's your advice about most things, though, to be fair. Yeah. The things I like and don't like, you can stick it up your arse. What shall I do with this excess luggage? You can jam it up your arse. It's such a great hole.

It's so versatile. So anyway, the thing that for me is remarkable about dogs, they've got an incredible sense of smell. You know, like a person dog searching for someone can go off an item of clothing, bomb dogs, drugs, yet when they sniff one another's arses, they're right up close. That must be intense for them, really enjoyable. Like, ooh, yeah, I've fucking got you. That's their coke.

They really bury their snout in there too. Yeah, just like, mmm. So you did that job before you did comedy, obviously. That was your first job out of school then. Is that how you got into comedy? You were just interrogating someone in the room one day and going, what's your name? Greg Fleet.

And what else do you do for a living? No. Oh, there's an NDA against Greg Fleet as well? Okay. Big payout from Fleeting. Yeah, Fleeting and I have come to an agreement. And we're going to be going to the Supreme Court. When you were a customs officer, you got to see some amazing forms of importation.

Like we did one bust where it was cricket balls from India. And it was definitely done in the factory because the balls were stitched up perfectly. But where you would have a cork guts in the middle of the cricket ball it was all hash and so there was a thousand cricket balls with you know 200 grams of hash in each

a thousand of them all full of it all full so you know what's that it's um that's a thousand cricket balls worth of hash

yeah that is the Indian measurement half a cricket ball thanks wobbly That is the Indian measurement. Half a cricket ball, thanks. Wobbly. Little googly. I don't know much about cricket.

Wrongan. Wrongan! Oh fuck, this is an actual cricket ball. So cricket balls, but the hash has an odour, so the dogs will be right under it. Yeah. Easy peasy with cricket balls. But when it's like, you know, 5,000 ecstasy pills welded into the, you know, structure of a tractor, a bit harder. And so it's intel most of the time that would, you know. Intel?

Did you ever... That someone has spoken... Prisons would be empty if criminals kept their mouth shut. Oh, really? So you're hearing that from India or from this side? Yeah, or with the ecstasy, it came out of Amsterdam. So somebody's watching someone, and this is en route to Australia, and then you pick up the drugs.

The goods are delivered without the drugs in them. Often you refill it with a dummy and then once these guys go to pick up their tractor or their cricket balls, you're busted. Oh, wow. You know the TV series Banged Up Abroad? Mm.

Like half those, half, nearly all of those people are just dobbed in on that probably by the person who gave them the gear. Because they need to hand a couple over to get clear passage. And they're doing a deal with the cops. I'll give you one out of ten. I'll hand over one out of ten and you let the rest through.

And I'm also paying you. So you've got a couple on the books there and our deal's sweet. And are you just on the end of this? Have you got any contacts in the New Delhi prison or anything like that? You're just going to someone else's? No. I'm, what do they call it? I'm fodder.

You're just hired help. Yeah, I'm just the guy on the ground level with a dog. Yeah. With grip. Yeah. Same dog every time? Same. I had my same dog for two years, and he was still working when I left, so he got re-teamed

with somebody else. Oh, did you go and visit him? Did remember you or no i didn't visit him i got the hell out of there we came to an agreement i would have said you probably saw you two years later and come straight up to you but for a different reason well yeah some some weekends i'd be working and get that dog out of the kennel and it'd look up at me and just go, are you for fucking real? Did you bring it to work? I could smell that coming down the Tullamore Freeway, motherfucker! His new owner took him to the museum

and he tried to bite his back off the painting. Surely that's a tainted control sample If you're walking around like that Yeah but no He was a brilliant dog I was basically his Commonwealth driver That dog could do anything Do you remember his name? Grip

Oh Grip Yeah so you would use A single syllable name So it's easier to Instruct the dog Right Rather than Bougelais

Find the drugs It's like Grip Find it Bougelais What a good name for a dog But Grip is not really a dog's name Right. Rather than Beaujolais, find the drugs. It's like, grip, find it. Beaujolais. What a good name for a dog. But grip is not really a dog's name. It's not the name of anything, is it?

I like grip. That's a good dog name. It's really good. It's a pretty cool drug detector dog's name. Yeah, sure. Because when he gripped, he gripped on. And he did bite me once inadvertently, because we used to play with these rolled up towel dummies.

And so the dog would latch onto it and then you'd play a tug of war. And it's the dogs that got recruited were the ones that were in pounds. They'd rip the clothing off the washing line. They dug up all the plants. They'd torn off the screen door. Just uncontrollable dog. The owners would go, we can't do anything with this dog, and put it in the pound.

So the recruiting dog handler would go past waving the towel dummy and the dog hanging off the inside of the cage, barking its head off. That was the dog, hyperactive dog. So we could just channel that hyperactivity into a game. So you get them out the van and it's like, we want to go because we know that at the end of it we get to play this tug of war. So once they smelled drugs in a suitcase, they would

start ripping that thing to pieces and you'd have to get them off because you wouldn't want, if it was a drug courier, to see their suitcase ripped to pieces with dog marks all through it. But they'd start ripping into it fully because they think the tail dummy's in there. Did they ever rip into the drugs and all of a sudden just an actual nose full of coke?

Yeah. Well, not that bad, but you would see them, you know, punch through a parcel probably. The majority of busts are at the parcel's post. So you're up on a conveyor belt and bang through a parcel. All of a sudden there's weed everywhere or powder and then you have to get the dog off and wash its face. Dog spends $40 and has sewn through the rubbish. Yeah.

Sleeping on friends' couches. Yeah, I've seen a couple of those dogs living under bridges. Excuse me, mate. Can you give me five bucks for a can of pal? Yeah. I'm what they used to call homeless. I'm de-kenneled. Excuse me.

You're scratching a lot. I'm a fucking dog. I'm a fucking dog. Yeah, can you just lend me 20 bucks? I want to get on the bus to Daptoe. Have you seen me balls? Have you lend me 20 bucks? I want to get on the bus to Daptoe. Have you seen me balls? Have you seen me fucking balls? What are you looking at, you fucking pedophile?

Is that Lima? I've got his Cleo magazine. Just hanging out with a couple of old greyhounds here. You see some good dogs in the army too. We met some rippers in the Middle East. Army dogs. Because you're a big performer for the armed forces. Yeah, so the SA...

Would you be number one? I don't know. I haven't done that. You've done a lot of... I haven't done the stats, but yes. Cody. Cody loves to own the SAS. He would love...

He gets very fired up when he talks about the SAS. He was going around with the camo backpack for a while. The big army camo backpack. Doing a bit of cosplaying there for a while. What time's the gig? 2,200 hours? 2,200 hours. He'd sleep outside the venue.

He was turning up to Basement Comedy Club at six in the morning. I'm like, mate, you've got fucking 14 hours. He'd sleep in that tree out the front of Spain for the 24 hours before the gig. Sniping, trying to shoot Husey, so good headline. He called it camouflage, but we called it blacking up. It's like you can't put that stuff all over your face, mate. It's not right. It's not cool.

Then he'd just emerge out of the tree at the start of the gig. Yeah, I love this new stuff about going prone. It's awesome. So yeah, they fucking love their dogs and those dogs are dangerous. And you cannot, when they leave the SAS,

they either have to be taken in by their handler or put down. Because there's no, one else will be able to handle that particular dog. Yeah, right. And you don't want to get... But what are the army dogs, what are their jobs over there? put down because there's no one else will be able to handle that particular dog. And you don't want to get But what are the army dogs? What are their jobs over there?

They're man and explosive so they will attack someone you know if the handler goes get him bang. And they do a fucking

you wouldn't want to get attacked by one of those dogs. She's about five foot tall in the 160 in the British Army. She had four dogs, right? And I asked, and three of them were really small. I was asking her what they do. She goes, that one sniffs explosive.

That one finds guns. That one looks for people. And I said, what about... Oh, they're like the Spice Girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, what about this one? And it's the one next to her. And it was nearly like about... Oh, they're like the Spice Girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, what about this one? And it's the one next to her. And it was nearly like it was sitting down.

He sucks off David Beckham. He was a poodle with no teeth. Get it. Can't sing, but it's the best looking one of the two. Feed your dog. Get your dog off me sausage, please. And she goes, I said, what does he do? Massive German shepherd crossed something.

And it was just sitting there quietly next to her. And all she said was, he bites. And I was like, he bites. Oh, he bites. He bites. Don't mess with this one. This one will fuck you up. If you get in the blue with this one.

And we did that thing, you know, where you put a suit on and you run and the dog jumps up. Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't do it, but someone else in our travelling group did it. I went to East Timor and Dicko did that. Oh, yeah. Ian Dicko Dickerson from Australian Idol? From Australian Idol, that's right. And the suit kind of makes you immobile.

Because you're really padded up. He was pretty padded before he put the suit on, Dicko. Dicko, are you going to put the suit on or what? Yeah, maybe lacked a little bit of core. And the dog hit his arm and boom, she was over. And then the dog's like on him and the handler's like, okay, okay, Barry, back off, back off. Barry, too many syllables. Yeah, too many syllables.

Yeah, that's the problem there. Snap. Okay, snap. I was going to do it until they said, I said, does the suit cover everything? They said everything except that bit underneath your arm, opposite your bicep. I said, so the dog could bite you there? And he goes, yeah, but it's unlikely. I said, well, I'm not going to do that.

Because that sounds like it would fucking hurt. How hard is it to make the suit that just covers that? I know. Ran out of funding. Who's the army's tailor? Why don't they copy an actual suit? How about a suit, not a vest? How about that?

It's like a boss in a video game, just a very exposed little weak spot for the dog to aim for. Fuck that. Fun fact, though, at the SAS barracks in Perth, they've got pictures on the wall of all the SAS soldiers who have lost their lives in combat over the years. And pictures of you, just like the prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they've also got the dogs up there that have lost their lives in combat over the years. And pictures of you, just like the prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they've also got the dogs up there that have lost their lives as well. On it equally as the people. I love that. Very nice. What's the ratio? It might be one in ten, maybe. Okay. All right.

So life's better as a dog than a person. Right. Well, you know, I look at dogs sometimes. They're a group better in the dog world than they do in the person world. If you're going to join the army, you're better to be dog than a person. Right. Well, you know, I look at dogs sometimes. They recruit better in the dog world than they do in the person world. If you're going to join the army, you're better to be a dog. Yeah. Think about that before you join. Well, they recruit smarter dogs than they do people.

Yes. I think they want to test the people a bit harder than they do the dogs. When it comes to that value system of dogs and people, you can really fall into a gulf there. Because, you know, it's like, oh, poor dogs, you know. Some people have more sympathy for animals than they do for people. And I remember we were in the dog unit and we were sitting around just having our weekly meeting and someone was flicking through the paper and there was a picture of a dog, RSPCA ad, and, you know, Labrador or German Shepherd, I can't remember,

and at the bottom it said, dogs are victims of domestic violence as well. Please donate. And the guy's going, oh, that's fucked. The dogs are victims of domestic violence. And there was an equal ratio of women in the unit. And the room fell silent. I thought, I'm not fucking touching this

because I know where it's going to go. And one of the women, Megan, said, why is that so fucked? He goes, because they don't deserve it. He hadn't thought this through, had he? He fucking had. He was not expecting a follow-up. No, he wasn't.

And he stopped short of saying, they don't deserve it, and said, they're not. Finish the sentence, asking for it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, fuck. And the air went out. It's like, mmm, nice one.

Nice one, Rod. Rod grabbed AWOL very quickly after that. Rod! Rod's had a fucking shocker. Good night for a dog. That's fucked. Why is it fucked?

Because they don't... They don't What else What else ends in What else starts with der They don't desert That'll do They don't eat dessert

I'm just gonna go guys I'll take my epaulettes off And hey it's been good I'm gonna miss you all I've always wanted to be in the Navy actually no dogs same one same thing happens in the Navy

it's interesting because everyone agreed with the initial emotion fucking you're right but then that's it hey when I come in tomorrow guys can we all forget this I'm going to find it very hard to forget about it That's it You fucked that Rod Hey when I come in tomorrow guys Can we all forget Yeah This

No I'm going to find it Very hard to forget about it And I left that job in 1989 And I reckon I'll still be telling that story In 32 years Rod That was a memorable Make that 33 What a monumental fuck up. Make that 33. What a monumental fuck up.

89, you left the... Yeah. And I left... Not the Air Force. No, the Air Force. Yeah. Teaching a dog to search for drugs is very different to landing a 747 car.

I didn't see a lot... Is it? Is it, though? That wasn't... Tom Cruise wasn't doing that in Tom... In Top Cruise. In doing that in Top Cruise. In Top Cruise? Top Gun.

What the hell? Top Cruise. That's where Tom Cruise works on a cruise ship. Top Cruise in Tom Gun. No, Top Cruise is what you do in Thailand. There's Chandler. Top Cruise again. I'll be there's Chandler. Talk about reason again. I'll be there in five days.

Thank you very much. Really? And what's happening? How long's it been? Koh Samui, it has been nearly three years. But Thailand itself? Thailand itself, a couple of months. So how do you sell this into your good lady wife?

The whole family's coming. It's my child. It's Blanket's first trip to the mother country. Blanket's first trip. Yeah. Have you dangled her out of a window yet? No, sort of. A little bit.

We've got a balcony. She's sort of been like that. When our baby was born, Maggie, so it was 2013, I said to Lou, let's write cunt on her forehead and put it up on Insta and she goes

I've got a great photo shoot over here she goes what do you mean I said just to own the word just to fucking get up people

and she said they will take the child office you'll be on a current affair. The opprobrium that you'll bring down on yourself, they'll take the child from us. How did you only just get sacked from radio? But just to give you...

Well, I run it as a listener stunt. I'm going to write something on your forehead. You guess what it is. And you thought Rod didn't think things through. What was going to be the plan for it? You're just going to do this on all the socials? Put the photo out? Would there have been a caption or just that's it?

Well, basically, it was kind of like, you know, the antithetical photo of the classic baby photo. Like, oh, look at that baby. You know, isn't it great? It's like humans have been born for a long time. So you've had a baby. And so it was just like the happy parents and the healthy baby. The baby doesn't know that we've written something on its forehead

with a sharpie. It's just like, yeah, baby with its tongue out. Because on social media, that stuff disappears pretty quickly. It's not going to be there forever. It's not going to Baby with it's tongue out Because on social media That stuff disappears Pretty quickly It's not going to be there forever It's not going to haunt me forever This is not the frog in the blender The dissecting the frog at all

The more we're hearing about it The more I'm finding it funny I'm just enjoying it more and more So how long ago was this? Oh well she's nine now So this is nine years ago Now I just want to fast forward Nine years To right now.

Well, maybe I'm a bit remiss telling that story now that she's cognizant and conscious. No, no, no, that's fine. I just want to let listeners know. And people at school all here and just go, you're not going home. I just want to let listeners know nine years later what the current state of your social media accounts is. I believe your wife has the keys to them all and you do not. Would that be fair? I wouldn't be so sure about that. Oh, the keys are back.

Now that I haven't got an employer. Oh, right. You're back, baby. I just thought maybe those ideas are the reason why the keys were with your wife. I think my wife got sick of waking up on the weekend and I'd wake up and go,

oh, fuck, I've got to fucking take that down. She said, that is no way to live. I've got to wipe that off her forehead again as well. Yeah, hangovers shouldn't consist of trawling through your social media and your text messages and your emails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's all done. I'm out of that. of trawling through your social media and your text messages and your emails. That's all done. I'm out of that. Well out of it.

Oh really? It is just all liking other people's stuff now. Love heart. That is around the era of some of your famous Twitter episodes. You're treating your baby's head like the tweet window. Just can't stand.

Anyway, it was a post-modern artistic idea of, you know, being upending, being anti-authoritarian about the whole world of babies. You are Australia's, Australian comedy's Rene Magritte. I thought you were just going to say, you are Australia's biggest fuck. Well, it rhymes with that. We are, I, speaking of babies and art, I was, we had a break in at the building site next to us

the other day and I went to talk to one of the blokes there about it. And he, and I go over and he goes, oh, Limo. I said, how you going, mate? He said, I saw you in Florence five years ago. I said, oh, right, okay. He said, yeah, it's a really hot day. Everyone's lining up to see the Statue of David. I said, I remember that day. It was fucking hot. And he said, yeah. It's a really hot day. Everyone's lining up to see the Statue of David. I said, I remember that day.

It was fucking hot. And he said, yeah. And we were in the line. We'd been there for ages. And we watched you and your wife. And I had Laddie with me, who's now five. He said, you had your baby with you? Yeah.

This young fella. And you walked straight to the front of the fucking line. Wow. And held up the baby. And they went, ah, the bamb they went ah come on in and we watched you jump the line and we were like wow nice this guy's just held on to that for five years he sees you come out of the house next to where he's he had to share it with me i'll tell you what though babies in italy will get you in anywhere see when maggie was a baby we would walk into the

restaurant they'd unlike an australian restaurant where they go fuck they brought the children When Maggie was a baby We would walk into the restaurant Unlike an Australian restaurant Where they go Fuck they've brought the children Yeah Italians go Oh you know pronto pronto And you would say you know Bambina fame

And the call would go through the restaurant Bambina fame Into the kitchen Bambina fame And bang Onto the table comes The ravioli with sugo And bambina fame is, get the child fed,

and then the waitstaff will take that child off your hands while you eat. Wow. Well, you know what? The nation voted not very long ago. My wife got up early, took the child to go and vote, had the sausage at the end of it. The child had a sausage at the end of her the sausage at the end of it came back said to me oh i didn't actually have to wait very long at all massive line but they saw the kid and got pushed to the front of the queue so cut to half an hour later and my child me voting and

my child having another very quickly she had two goes at the voting line my child you want to milk that shit while you can i'll tell you 100 Absolutely. 100%. Kids are a wonderful tool for jumping kids. We nearly rented our son out to other tourists to see if we can have him for the day. I think you're going to end up in that fucking prison again. So I write cunt on my kid's forehead and all of a sudden I'm an enemy. You're renting your boy out. Listen, is there any expectant parents out there? If you've got a kid on the

way, once they're out, chuck a cunt on their head in Sharpie, send it to us. We'll send you little fries. It's the Lawrence Mooney Challenge. And don't be a cunt and just Photoshop it. Don't Photoshop it. Like a weak dog. Do the right thing. And it's got to be a baby. It can't be like a seven-year-old. Boring.

But if you've got a family and everyone's got it on their forehead, that's got to be worth a t-shirt, doesn't it? Oh, yeah,old, boring. But if you've got a family and everyone's got it on their forehead, that's got to be worth a T-shirt, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. If you bring a kid to a live show, that's the T-shirt. That's worth a T-shirt. With cum written on their forehead. With cum written on their forehead.

Oh, my God. Do you know what? It'll become a worldwide movement off the back of this. It'll be everywhere. Yes. But also in China, but you know in Chinese... Scrambling for the... Will it be hashtag?

I was going to say, what do you call the characters? I'm not sure. Chinese characters? Characters, yeah. Well, I'm not bilingual. Oh, well. I am. All lingual. I'm not monolingual.

Fuck up, cunt. It will become a thing. What's the hashtag for the movement, by the way? Cunt. Hashtag. Hashtag baby cunt. Oh, no. No, no, no.

Take that back. Take that back. That's the hashtag for our upcoming holiday. I think it's cuntunt. Oh, no. No, actually, no. Take that back. Take that back. That's the hashtag for upcoming holiday. I think it's cunt baby. Cunt baby. Cunt baby. Okay, cunt baby. That's better.

That's better. It's still not great, but it's better than the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This doesn't feel right at all. Is this a career-ending podcast? That's impossible. My career has ended. As I always say, you can't end a career that has never started for me and Tommy.

What you are looking for, the term, is this employment ending. There's three people in this room that don't care. Fuck! I should have known better. When you said Moon was on this podcast! I should have known better. When you said Moon was on this pod. Should have known. I've said nothing about anything, ever.

No, you haven't. How many NDAs are you operating under at the moment? Well, I'm not actually Lawrence Mooney. Oh, your wife's got you to sign an NDA. I'm a proxy. Right. All right, well, we'd better wrap it up there for another installment of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My pleasure. Lawrence Mooney and Limo, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you. And can I just say, Tommy, I'm really loving your work on Insta. In fact, I'm doing a bit of scrolling through, and I love your comics. It's very nice of your wife to pass that along. It's not true. I really like the one where you were sick in bed. Thank you. It was cute. of your wife to pass that along. It's not true. I really like the one where you were sick in bed. Thank you.

It was cute. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. I know. It's great work, actually. Thank you. And you've got live gigs coming up. You've got some...

I was put in mind of Robert Crumb a little bit with some of your stuff. Thank you. I'm sure you're a fan. Appreciate that. Moon has a book coming out soon. Oh, yes. It's a memoir called Cunt Baby. It is, in fact, a self-help parody.

Yes. But even though it's a little comic book, at its heart, it is, in fact, a self-help book. It's called Embracing Your Limitations. What you've got to do is throw away the goals, stop the dreams, and just embrace the true reality of your shitty little life. Embrace your inner loser and love what you've got. I love it. You're already enlightened, man. Looking forward to it because Lawrence Mooney has an absolutely wonderful way with words,

so I'm looking forward to reading it. Thank you very much. Yeah. When's it out? Due out when? Later in the year? End of the year? October the 5th.

Oh! Ideal stocking stuffer. Yes, that's right. Through Alan and Unwin. And, yeah, it'll be a fun read. There will be some friendships lost. You guys don't come out of it all that good. That's good.

You gave us the scoop before the pod that the audiobook is actually being read by Tom Williams. Yeah. Which I'm excited to... Once upon a time... Oh, this is really hard to read, actually, Moon Man. It's quite a news commercial. Once upon a time, there was a man called Moon Man. And you got some live dates around the country?

That'll be later in the year, but I'm just doing a whole lot of gigs at the moment and it's very nice to be standing up again and at the end of those gigs I walk off stage and don't have someone tell me how I should have done it or how I might have made it funnier

the closest we get to a break in the NDA yes lovely which is very nice we got 1% into it I fly under my own auspices breaking the NDA. Yes. Lovely. Which is very nice. We got there. We got 1% into it. I am flying my own auspices. It is.

You know what? I do love it that you're back doing stand-up because I remember when you weren't doing radio and you were hardcore stand-up and you'd look at people doing radio going, look at these cunts. They forget their stand-up roots. They do radio

and then they forget how to fucking do stand-up and then you get a plum radio job and then you go, fuck stand-up roots. They do radio and then they forget how to fucking do stand-up. And then you get a plum radio job and then you go, fuck stand-up. And now you're out and going, fucking stand-up is the best. Well, yeah, you've got to keep doing stand-up, which I have done through the journey. Because it is a very quickly evolving art form. And the language changes and what's funny changes very quickly. Absolutely. And if you stop and recommence at the point where you stopped,

the age and the whoriness of your routine stinks. And you, you, you, Limo, Husey, Pete Helly, people like that are all extremely good examples of people that have never stopped and are at the top of your game. And you see other people have a break and come back and you go, P.U. Someone's got some jokes from our U.D. Sir.

I'm free. I mean, aren't gays hilarious? The way they mince around like big poops. That's what I'm opening with tonight. Since I've heard a joke about the America's Cup. And, Limo, what have you got? What have you got? What have you got?

I'm at the European Bar doing some stand-up in a couple of weeks. European Beer Cafe in a few weeks. I don't know when this pod's coming out. By the time this comes out, you probably have been on already. But you do have your... If you're in the state of South Australia, the biggest ticket-selling state of all time. Indeed.

You're on Breakfast Radio over there. I am indeed. SAFM. You can hear me every morning. From 6 till 9 on SAFM. Nice. 6, 9. And that is... And you've been doing Breakfast Radio for a long time.

You are a journeyman. How many years? Like dog years, really. 19 years. Pull up. Of Breakfast Radio. Oh, well, 16 years of... Oh, actually, 15 years of breakfast radio.

That's a lot. And then a bit of afternoon. It's a lot. A couple in the afternoon. That's a lot of phoners. Favourite phoner of all time. Favourite phoner of all time.

Oh, probably my favourite phoner of all time. Have you got a bullet inside you right now? And it fucking switchboard jammed. Yeah. In Adelaide, that's weird.

And here's the thing about people... Hello, I'm in a barrel. I think I'm in the Snowtown Bank. Can you put a bullet in me now? And there's me talking to the producer. Is there a bullet in him though? I can't exactly prove. My favourite one was

How badly did you get injured at primary school And this woman rang up And she said We had this Asian primary school teacher And whenever there was a sing-along They'd all put the kids in one classroom The classroom with the piano And he would say

Don't touch the piano And she classroom, the classroom with the piano, and he would say, don't touch the piano! And she was like, meh, and leaned on the piano, and the piano came down on top of her. She was pinned under the piano. It smashed both of her legs. She was like in calipers for ages. She got, you know, her legs, she was able to use them again. But we finished. She was able to ring a fucking radio station,

so the fingers were all right. Yeah, her fingers were fine, but her legs were pretty fucked up. And so we just finished that phone call with, and what is the moral of that story? Can you just repeat to me one more time what the teacher said and she goes into the full Asian accent. Oh wow, okay.

Don't touch the piano. Like, thank you. And song. Here's Barnsley. And here's the vapors with turning Japanese. Alright guys Thank you very much Alright

Let's wrap it up And we'll see you next time See you mate And they've done it again Oh Bernie's kicked a big one With those guests That we just talked to Yep

Best ep we've ever done Who was your favourite Out of the two guests We just talked to Um The uh Hopefully Mooney Hopefully Mooney

Yeah even that I feel like I'm rolling the dice Yeah yeah yeah Putting that out Okay Hands in the air We're recording this Before we record

The guts of the episode So whatever happened there I hope it was good, guys. Yep. Another one of these classic ones where we're pontificating about something that hasn't happened yet. Yep, yep. So not a lot of chatting about what's just happened. Yep. We could guess.

What about that bit where Mooney hopefully was like really loose and sort of like probably went a bit too far? Real funny, yeah. Yeah. I have to edit it out. Yeah, that was a good bit. Yeah, yeah. That was good. That was some good editing time.

Yep. Well, let's look forward to the future and the bonus episodes that you can get right now if you sign up to our Patreon at patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. You can help keep the lights on in here. Get yourself a little bonus mini episode Mondays and Fridays with great special guests, friends of the show. Always a lot of fun on those and most importantly

you get your name read out that's right and in between that what about a quick little plug for Perth a few tickets left for Perth our live podcast in Perth plus a little bit of

stand up comedy as well and that was on July 17 16 16 on the Saturday afternoon at the Rosemount Hotel get on down Perth little doggies

anyone in WA we've heard from plenty of people who are from Perth who are coming who. Get on down Perth, little doggies. Anyone in WA, we've heard from plenty of people who are from Perth who are coming, who are from around about Perth who are coming in specifically for it. So if you're in the region, this is your time. We haven't been there for years now. Well, we have.

Well, we haven't been on stage. Successfully, we haven't. Yeah, we haven't performed there for ages. Actually, I hope everyone that came to that episode that time, where we did the episode in the hotel room, I hope you're all there. Yeah. Yeah.

I hope it's a nice little reunion of you guys. Not that any of you were very good laughers, but yeah, I hope you're there. Yeah. Well, hopefully you'll be a bit less startled when you're actually in a theatre, not a theatre, but like a performance space watching a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just, I think that's what was happening that night was people were like, oh, this

is like weird. Yes. Sitting this close to these guys while they just do the show. Sitting on Chandler's bed, the home of a thousand wanks. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, well, I hope to see you guys. Let's do a little reunion, maybe a little special bonus episode afterwards.

That's not bad. Just the OGs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Room just for it. Yep. Hourly rates in at the Doubletree. Yes. But yes, we do need to thank some people that support the show.

And then after we've done a few names, I need to get out of here and fucking eat something. What are you going to eat? I haven't had anything to eat today yet. I am really, really starting to feel it. Yeah, I'm very, very tired. I'll say that. My little tummy is making a lot of growly noises. Don't know if you've been able to hear them. I haven't. anything to eat today yet and i am really really starting to feel it yeah i'm very very tired i'll say that my little tummy is making a lot of growly noises i don't know if you've been able to hear them i haven't right what what are they what's it asking for what do you reckon well i'm trying not

to think about it too much because i think by the time we get this done a lot of stuff that's lunch options around here will be closed what about this this? Every name I read out, we'll figure out what sort of food they sound like. So in the way that like imagining I've got the kind of hunger where I'm like on a desert island with this person. And I'm looking at them and I'm imagining what food they're turning into. Yes. Yeah, okay. Absolutely. Thank you very much.

Let's take it away right now. Thank you very much. First cap off the rank this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Rouse. r-o-w-l-e-s michael rouse what are you seeing what are you what are you seeing with that hunger hallucination i'm seeing a big a glorious roasted chicken just gravy being poured all over yeah i was thinking there might be a bone involved there. Yeah. Yeah.

I was getting bone vibes. Yep. Yeah. Just a beautiful, yeah, fresh off the rotisserie and just smothered in gravy. Maybe I'll get super tasty rooster. Oh. How far away from here is that? I'd have to, I'd probably have to get on the app to get it delivered.

Oh. The app. Right. It's too far away. Yeah. It's not walking distance from delivered. Oh. The app. Right. It's too far away. Yeah, it's not walking distance from here. Right, right. But if you're that hungry and then you order something,

you're going to wait 40 minutes for it to turn up. That's true. Well, I mean, middle of the afternoon on a Sunday, you know? Yeah. It's not really prime time. Yeah. I don't know.

I'll probably just go for a little walk down the street. Yeah. But, yeah, fuck, I'd love a rotisserie. You'd love the idea of Michael Rowles. I could do that. Spinning around in his own juices. That's it. I mean, look, if nowhere's open, I could just do that.

Hit up Coles and get the old bachelor's handbag. Okay. Just rip into a... Hackgood's just getting a fucking roast chicken. It's pretty good. Tearing it up for a sandwich and then just sitting in the fridge for a couple of days. Having your wicked way with every part of it. The sandwich.

Use the carcass to make a bit of a stock when you're done with it. Oh, I haven't done that. Very much a big fan of a chicken sandwich, that's for sure. Absolutely. Are you a breast of Michael Rowles or a leg of Michael Rowles fan? Probably a breast. Yeah? Yeah.

You'd like to just suck on one of his big old honkers? Michael's delicious tits. Yeah. I would love to suck them down. I'm so hungry I could suck on Michael Rouse's tits. I'm so hungry I could eat the ass of a low-flying Michael Rouse. That is good with a chicken. Are you a breast or a leg man?

More of an asshole. Yeah, I love it. I like to suck on the rectum of a chicken. I like to rim the chicken before I eat it. I like to eat its ass before I eat it. You could convince yourself that, yeah, with the stuffing and whatever, that's kind of what you're doing. Okay. Just get right in there. Yeah, right.

Stuffing, very underrated. This is good because it's making me less hungry, this chat. Is it? It's disgusting. It's helping. But yeah, no, stuffing, what do you mean underrated? Do people not rate stuffing? I don't ever hear people champion it, put it that way.

Okay. And I feel like people maybe should. Sometimes I went and saw my folks a couple of weeks ago and my mother made a roast meal of which I, my number one favorite meal, my mother's roast meal. Yep. And got to the end of the meal and didn't realize that there was stuffing there that was sitting under something that I hadn't eaten yet. I was like, oh, what a little treat. Love it. Love a bit of stuffing.

But I think I'm a late adopter to stuffing. Yeah, okay. Maybe I'm the one who's been underrating it all these years. Yeah. But I don't hear anyone else go, you know what I like? Stuffing. I would like to discover a new food at this point in my life. Yeah.

You know, I think I'm pretty locked and loaded in what I like and don't like. But I would love to have an epiphany. Like like i didn't like avocado for a long time right and then all of a sudden one day i was like this shit is the best this is so fucking good i would love to just have an epiphany with a food where it's all of a sudden like i'm not really a seafood person and i but i do like the idea that one day something clicks in maybe i get bonked on the head in a certain way and now i'm like guess what i love prawns yeah yeah i'd like that maybe i should maybe i should uh make make this year the year of a new food yeah because like i was in cairns recently which is like such a great place to have seafood everywhere you go is just like most of the menu is seafood there's like this um place that a

few people recommended to me called prawn star where it's like a little boat that you sit on and you eat prawns and that's like all they have is prawns. And I went with my girlfriend and she had some. I just had a drink. And I was just like, damn it. I wish I was a prawns guy. Because this looks awesome. The people on there are having the time of their lives.

Sucking back prawns on the ocean. That would have been the time to do it before that holiday. Well, you know what? Right now, I just realized when this episode comes out, I will be in Coast of Million. It will be the lead up to Dum Dum Con 22. As this episode drops, there'll be but a couple of days to go. Would it have happened already? No.

Okay. I don't believe so. Right. No, it'll be a couple of days out from it. I am pretty... Oh, maybe it's happened. No, I think it's happened. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. Damn. Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. Yeah. happened. No, I think it's happened. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Damn. Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. Yeah. Maybe that's what I'm going to be... By this time, I'll be on the Copenhagen Roadshow. I'll be on the Roadshow. But yeah, maybe I should try and find a couple of dishes that I don't usually have over there.

Because I get too into just wanting to have my favorite couple of dishes a lot of times just to just to really make the most of before i come back here yeah there is also something to be said for just knowing what you like and just sticking with that maybe i'll discover that's what i'll do i'll discover one or two but i think with seafood my life just would be better if i liked it for this year for no other reason than just like people go what do you mean it's like a food that you're other reason than just like people go, what do you mean? It's like a food that you're not allowed to not like. People are like,

what do you mean you don't like prawns? You always get such a hard time about it. So it's like for no other reason than just like not having to fucking deal with people hassling me about

not liking prawns. It would be worth just changing my brain. Anyway, thanks Michael Rotisserie Chicken. Yes. Thanks Rousey. We want to eat you

from both ends. Thank you very much to patient subscriber brett morris big ice cream cone oh really i thought you might have been hallucinating going oh wow bread morris like a big sandwich yeah yeah yeah hero sandwich what is a hero sandwich uh yeah it's uh isn't it it's another word for a sub, isn't it? I thought it was always like a... They were kind of like interchangeable. Let's have a look.

Let's have a fucking look here. I'm looking it up. Hero sandwich. Hero sandwich. What is a hero sandwich? Hero sandwich. What was a hero sandwich? Synonyms for hero sandwich.

Yeah, I think it's a large sandwich usually consisting of a small loaf of bread or long roll cut in half lengthwise. Yeah, so it's just basically a sub. Just a Subway. Yep. Yep. And not with any specific, like, crucial ingredients, just ham and cheese and salad. I think it's just kind of whatever.

Whatever. You know what? I genuinely wouldn't mind a Subway right now. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that you know something something that you you know something that you

you don't have it a lot but then just like once every six months it'll pop into my head fuck a sub would go down well right now yeah yeah yeah yeah no totally

I'm trying to think of what would be perfect if I walked out the door right now what would I what would I be riding to you know what I think maybe

maybe I'd be pretty keen on a on indian right now maybe i haven't had it for a little while yep a mid-afternoon indian yeah yeah absolutely i don't i don't i don't worry about timing with food yeah there's no good time to have it i guess there's no time to have an indian that's not going to kind of like fuck you up in some way well i mean you know those that sort of idea of oh you have that for dinner i'm like man i'd rather have a heavy food earlier on in the day so you're not like there we go one two kilos of food my belly time to go to bed yeah but don't you feel i've made this mistake plenty of times where it's then just it slows you down for the rest of the day i hate that feeling of having a huge thing for lunch

and then just being like, fuck, I feel just sluggish for the rest of the day while I'm trying to do stuff. Not really. I think I quite like the idea of being able to work it off for the rest of the day. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. Just giving you any... What about this though? While I was in Cairns, speaking of, we were staying at a resort that had a buffet breakfast. We didn't have included as part of our room but we went down one day and we were like we were like let's let's get it today let's let's go down and pay for it but we got down there with like we slept in and it was ending at 10 a.m and we got down there with 10 minutes to go and we were like oh let's just see if we could still maybe get in because we really felt like

the buffet breakfast so we go up and we say to the lady like were like oh let's just see if we could still maybe get in because we really felt like the buffet breakfast so we go up and we say to the lady like hey I know you're just kind of starting to pack up but like can we just

you know we'll be quick like we're just gonna and she goes look I'll tell you I'll tell you what I'll do I'll give it to you I'll give you the buffet breakfast

for half price because you've only got like five minutes to load up a plate because we're just about to pack everything up so you can have it for half price.

And like that's all you want anyway is one loaded up plate. And there was still plenty of stuff. Like it didn't look like – it hadn't been all picked clean. Everything was there. Yeah, great. So we're like this is awesome. We just pile up our plates. And then we were thinking – because it's like that's such a weird thing for a hotel to do to be like I'll tell you what.

Here's the deal. I'll let you do this. There's no deal. Like just her sake because it's like then what's to stop us the next day of just doing the same thing coming down with five minutes to go and being like so uh how about that uh half price buffet deal again i liked a bit in uh comedy when you're when i'm running a comedy room where it's like they'll come in and go oh well it's uh it's sort of towards the end we're only half an hour out from the end so can i have a massive discount yeah just let us in for free or i'll pay half price or something like that it's like oh you want a big discount on the fact that you're only going to see the headline yeah yeah

the person that you actually have come here yeah to watch yeah no that does not work that doesn't work like that doesn't work yeah not i mean you it doesn't work like that. Not a deal. I mean, you can't, that sort of person, I wonder if they're trying that on at a restaurant, just like, I only ate half of this. It was actually pretty filling. So I kind of don't want to pay the full thing. Yeah. Because I liked it, but I just didn't finish it.

Yeah. So I should only pay half. I was thinking, in my head, after I finished all that food, that it should be less than what I paid for it. Yeah. So are we good with that? I've been having a bit of a think and I actually reckon it would be cool if I had like a bit more money in my bank account at the end of this. Is there some way you could like facilitate that happening for me in some way?

Like I didn't have this feeling before I made the purchase but I do now. On reflection, I've grown a lot in the last half an hour and I realised it was immature of me to think the way I did before this. And it's just this weird situation where, I mean, I've made the call, but weirdly you still have it in your hands whether it comes true for me or not. So if you could just help me out and see it my way. You've actually got a lot of power here, and that must feel cool. Yeah, and surely you can see my thought process. You can see where I'm coming from.

I've explained it pretty clearly. Yeah, yeah. And surely you can see my thought process. You can see where I'm coming from. I've explained it pretty clearly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm just an innocent bloke having a crack in this crazy world. I wonder how many... That'd be great if you just spent a whole day going shop to shop seeing exactly how much fuck stuff you could get away with in one street. Before you get kicked out.

Yeah. Yeah. And just do the whole street and have everyone, all the shopkeepers talking at the end of the day in their shop meeting. Did you cop that guy in the fucking black hat that just kept coming around and going, yeah, can I pay one cent for an ice cream that I just ate? Because, you know, I thought it was one cent's worth. You do it here.

You do it along Brunswick Street. You start up at the end near the city. You walk all the way along Brunswick Street and then you get up to alexandra parade where the uh where the shops are finished and then you step straight into oncoming traffic a hero's end and then it's like as the ambos are like loading you in all these people have kind of come out to see what the commotion is and they're like oh that's that cunt that was trying to fucking get the magazines for free. Who killed that man? We did. You're a hero.

Statue of the driver goes up. It'd be awesome. Well, thanks, bread ice cream. Yeah. Thanks, bread ice cream, Morris. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Matt Lynch. Oh, Matt Lynch. Slice of pizza.

Slice of pizza? Okay, I can live with that. Had a pizza last night? Did you? What sort? Pretty good. Full pizza? Small pizza?

Slice of? Several slices of? Full? Full? Four of us? Each with our own pizza? Oh, yeah. I kind of went halfsies with one of the people there.

So I had a meatball. Yeah. And she had a cheeseburger. Oh. Cheeseburger Oh Cheeseburger pizza I like it I like a cheeseburger pizza Not too different from each other

But A bit of ground beef A bit of ground beef Some red onion Some pickles And then some of that special sauce Kind of slathered over the top Oh yeah

Yummy yummy yummy Love onion I fucking love onion It's good Yeah One of the best. I like garlic too. Yep.

Roast onion, roast garlic. They're like stuffing, underrated. No? I don't think they're underrated. Again, garlic's in fucking nearly everything. No, but I feel like it's there, but people aren't championing it as much. People aren't giving it its props. I think I talked about this on the show a while ago,

but I was reading Anthony Bourdain's book that came out in Kitchen Confidential that came out in the year 2000, I think. And he's got all these kitchen secrets. He's like, here's some tips for your cooking that no one knows. Some special ingredients that the restaurants use that the common person isn't in touch with yet. And one of them is garlic. And it's like, wow, what a different time.

That garlic was this like, ooh. There you go. Yeah, underrated. Fucking better write this down. See, same mindset as Bourdain. That's me. I'm a fucking chef genius. I hate preparing garlic though.

Garlic and onion, fucking pain in the ass to to prepare yeah to cook sure getting all the little shit that comes off the garlic bulb very messy and then fucking tearing up while you're slicing the onion i agree pain in the ass never ever cooked either of them really um yeah not much of a cook you're a little cook i'm a little cook i'm a little i'm a little ratatouille ratatouille. Yeah. I don't do that much in that way. And by that much, I think nearly anything. I cooked for Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah?

That was about it. What was his name? Yes. It got me. Hour four of recording for us today. Jesus. Yeah. And my car recording for us today. Jesus. Yeah. And my car in a two-hour spot.

Oh, baby. Shouldn't have tried that in hindsight now that I'm thinking. I was thinking, oh, there won't be inspectors around here. Of course there will be. They take the day off on Sundays. Do they? No. No.

Fuck. That logic that you just convince yourself of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's the weekend, so they probably won't be around. God damn it. I've had a couple recently. I had a really bad run with getting parking tickets and then I've just had this dream run recently

where I've been getting away with absolute murder where I'm coming back to the car and it's so late and I'm like, there's no way I'm not fucked here. It's in the middle of the city or something absurd like that yeah and then you you know you see your car from a distance and you're kind of like squinting to like look for like oh is there any just being like yes i've fucking gotten away with it yeah god it feels good i've had a good run and i'm touching wood over and over and over and over again and just seeing it like my car the other day and really being like this must be what johnny depp like right now. I've fucking done it.

I'm in the clear. I've gone off. You know what? I'm going to look out the door. I can see my car from your front door. Oh, really? Okay. I'm going to look out my front door to see if I can see a ticket on it right now.

All right. You don't think that's going to ruin the end of the podcast if you do have a ticket? Well, we'll have something to talk about. Wait. Read out one name and I'll start riffing on it while you're off doing that. All right. So that was, thanks very much to Matt Lynch. Matt Lynch.

Okay. Mr. Pizza himself. Mr. Pizza himself. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Rachel Lee. Rachel Lee. And I'm out to check. Okay. Rachel Lee.

I'm getting, what am I getting? I'm getting dumplings. I'm thinking dumplings. Dumplings would be really good right now. There probably will be some available up the street for me. Yeah, I don't know why Lee is making me think dumplings, but Carl's entering the room. He doesn't have the look of a man who's just seen that he's got a ticket.

No ticket. Oh, yes. Yes. Fuck, if you got one now, like in the next couple of names, that would be truly awesome. I know. And that's worse now because you now know how close you came to getting away without one.

I know. The only, there's Rachel Lee and one final person in the way of me getting off absolutely scot-free. That's what's happening here. So if I get a ticket from now on in It's on Rachel and whoever comes next It's on Rachel and whoever the Whatever the other Yeah

Who hasn't come up on the UTA yet Parking Inspector Comedy Yeah But no I said Dumplings His name makes me think of Dumplings Really? Yeah Rachel Lee

You're just thinking of A curvy Dumpling Yeah Based person Fuck I could destroy Rachel Lee A bag of A bag? You're just thinking of a curvy dumpling-based person. Fuck, I could destroy a bag, box, serve of dumplings. A box of dumplings. Nothing better.

Getting one of my favorite meals to order in, like 12 dumplings, a meal that is meant to be shared slash eaten alongside other things, and just getting them and just eating them all yourself. Twelve dumplings in one sitting. I fucking love it. A great meal with absolutely zero nutritional value whatsoever. Yes. It does seem – I'm not a big dumplings person in any way.

Not against them. Just find it a bit weird to sit there and eat just those that feels like something, it should come with something else. Well, I mean, that's the design is like you go out with people, you have a group of you, you get a few and then you get some other stuff. You get some like Chinese greens, you get some spring onion pancake maybe, get some maybe a little noodle dish to share as well. Fuck, I'm so hungry yeah all right well thanks this is such a flawed plan like recording all day and eating nothing before

it yeah i'm i'm also i'm also i'm not hungry but i'm fucking hung over oh no i'm not hung over i'm tired yeah i'm very tired uh All right. Thanks, Rachel Lee. One more that stands between you and food and me and non-ticket. Yep. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. You're taking your wedding ring off as you're eating. Hot girl comedy. Thank you very much to Come Sandwich Comedy.

Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. What food does this make me think of? Does it make you think of something you'd like to eat Sandwich Comedy. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, what food does this make me think of? Does it make you think of something you'd like to eat soon? Yeah, yeah. Big old loaf. A loaf. Just me having a big old loaf.

A loaf of what? A loaf of bread. Yeah. Drenched. Yes. In semen. What? In semen.

Oh, okay. Right. Okay. Thanks very much, everyone. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. If you'd like to give money to this, LittleDumbDumbClub. If you'd like to give money to this, LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets to our show in Perth. Speaking of bread drenched in cum,

this has been some tip-top comedy. It absolutely has. Oh, boy. All right. Thanks very much. Come to Perth. Subscribe to Patreon. Listen to the show.

Fuck my ass. Yep. See you, mates.