The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 613 - Gen Fricker & Josh Earl

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

We’re podding in style this week, in an incredibly small hotel room with GEN FRICKER and JOSH EARL! We do a full dissection of Chandler’s recent open mic comedy experience in Koh Phanang, with plenty of diversions along the way: free pizza in Bendigo, Tommy’s AI lookalike, Gen’s brutal introduction at a Gala show and heaps more. PLUS, in Talkin’ Dum Dum, we cook up one of our best schemes of all time! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Josh Earle and Jen Fricker. Not very long now until we are over in beautiful WA, Perth to be exact. Big live show happening at the Rosemount. It's us with great guests and a stand-up component. Carl, how many tickets are left? Fuck all. Yes. Single figures. Yep.

So get into it. This is your big chance to finally see us in Perth after many years. And who knows when we'll be back. So get into it. This is a great lineup. Yep. Check that out. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets. We will talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb.

But until then, enjoy this great new episode with Josh Earl and Jen Fricker. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. Two very special guests today. Please welcome back into the show, Earle and Jen Fricker. In a very tiny, intimate

hotel room paid for by Channel 10. Can we make the same jokes that we did a minute ago? Yeah, they were good. We did half our record and then we realised that it wasn't recording. It's good. We named all the sexual predators in Melbourne.

Unfortunately, we're running out of time. that it wasn't recording. Yeah. It's good. We named all the sexual predators in Melbourne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, we're running out of time. We are in a very small hotel room. Yeah. I mean, it's free. It's nice. Free minibar. Yeah.

Free, you know. A lot of chocolates. All the chomps you can bloody, that's the crinkle. All the chomps that you could fit in this apartment, which is one. Yeah. Jen gave me the heads up that there wasn't a private toilet. It's just like a window into the rest of the room. So normally I'd be like drinking a big bottle of water on the drive over here. But I was like, no, I got to dry myself out.

Normally Tommy Kink is to go into someone's hotel room and just take a big shit. Normally my thing is to eat two curries on the way over. And I did. I had three actually. So get ready guys. You just came back from overseas, right? Yes, I did. I had three actually so get ready guys. You just came back from fresh off the plane. Overseas, right?

Yes, I did. Does that do with stuff to your guts? Like flying on planes? Not too bad. What it did do was make me sleep for nearly 14 hours last night. I love that.

Josh Earl was hosting my little gig comedy at Spleen and I sat down there to go I better send him a line up at some point because I'm not going to be there. He'll have to take charge and know who's on the bill

and then I passed out. Special drop in from Mr. Sandman. Yes. He had a little nine eye and an eight twin and I said, what's the line up?

And I didn't hear anything so I had to take control. I had to take control and say, all right, everyone, we're doing this. Three hours of hell.

We're going to get up there and do some space jump at the start. Did you make any wild moves? Any crazy calls? Well, I thought there was ten people on. There's not ten people on. So the first break was five people. The second break was three people.

But they were so pissed at the half, so it was fine. Made a big mistake. I demanded that Dave Chappelle drop in. Yeah, right. Right, fly him over. Here's my credit card. Get him on the express flight. I got the Red Cup boys.

Oh, yeah, yeah. His crew. No, that's Kevin Hart. That's Kevin Hart's crew. He bought cars for all of them. He's a great guy. We're doing, Carl and Jen have been doing little eye masks before we started recording.

We've got tired eye sockets. That's where you lose the hydration from. But you took them off very... I didn't know how long those things stay on for. Oh, well, you don't want them to dry out your skin by leaving them on too much. So you've got to tap it in to the serum into the skin. Anyway.

No, that's good. Go on the cheap seats looking like the Crypt Keeper. Yeah, exactly. Dry it out. I like it because I always have this anxiety right before I have to do any kind of public thing where it's like about an hour before I'm like, oh, no. I'm an idiot. Oh, shit.

My eyes are so arid. Fuck. The people of Channel 10 are going to hate this. You guys would know that Dali Mini thing that's popular on social media at the moment. It's like a little, it's an AI, it's a website and you can put in like, you know, Carl Chandler drinking a Fanta and it'll like, you know, it's like a little AI program that uses all the images on the internet in the world to create little, you know, semi, like it gets pretty close.

It's like a big thing at the moment on social media, people kind of sharing images of that. So I saw my friend the other day who's like, loves to be like one up on any kind of like tech thing that's going on and he's like nah i've got the version that's good that you have to pay for dali maxi and he's like nah i've got like check this out man it's so far it's so much better and he's like he puts things into it and it comes up like like he puts scott morrison crying in the rain and it's like it comes up and it's like perfect it looks like a real photo it's like fuck me cunt this is the future and he goes look i'll show you i'll show you how good it is and he puts in tommy dasolo performing on stage right and we're kind of watching it all come together and this, this is what it comes up with.

Fuck my ass. We'll put this on the socials. What is that? That's like a man. It looks like Danny DeVito in a bear suit. Like a little Ewok. Playing a fucking solo. To be honest, it looks like Star from...

Yeah, it does. We'll put it on the socials, but it's like... I mean, it's so fat. It's so fat and so bald and like... I love the whimsical, hand-painted nature of it, though. Yeah. That's nice. Also, Tommy Daslow on stage,

you'd be able to find that just through Google Images. Yeah. You don't need to pay extra for a fucking AI. That's right. The AI's going like... It's seen the images. It's like, he must have stacked it on by now. He's probably grown the hair out a bit.

He's gone for like the gross bald man mullet. But fuck, that's really rattled me. That's like a computer program being like, this is you. That's always every time someone sends you a photo, hey, I saw someone who looks like you and they send it to you. I had one, you know, Tim Dillon, the comedian Tim Dillon. Hey, this guy looks like you, just a little bit plumped up. I'm like, I hate this so much.

This sucks. I mean, at least it's them saying this guy plumped up is you. It's not them going, you look like a fat him. That's fucking devastating. Yeah, we were talking about doppelgangers last week on the show and the whole concept of seeing someone who looks like a friend in the street. Oh, yeah, yeah. And do you just go up and get a photo?

You always want to. Yeah. But how do you word it? I suppose you talked about this last week. Yes. Yeah, okay. Because I saw Hot Chandler in Thailand. Ripped Chandler.

Ripped Chandler. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually got – someone came up to me at the pub, not so much a doppelganger, just a sighting, a recognition. A dum-dum club listener came up to me at the pub on Saturday. I told you about this already. And they were like, Jen Freaker.

And I'm like, what? And he was like, you told me a dum-dum club ruined my life. And do you give any further explanation? Just listening to this ruined his life and do you give any further explanation oh well just listening to this ruined his life yeah or me telling him

to listen to this ruined his life also then someone his mate was like yeah that Carl's a sus kind of yeah anyway

true fans I met a guy last time I was in Sydney and he was like he was trying to be like sorry can I stop yeah Carl's just taking his jacket off

and now I'm seeing buff Carl. Ripped Carl. The call is coming from inside the house. Nah, this guy was just. Oh, the call is coming from outside the house. I reckon that's someone saying, hey, are you making noise? Yeah, what's going on? That room's not meant for that many people.

Are you podcasting in there? You're going to for that many people. Are you podcasting in there? You're going to stick that room out if you're podcasting in there. We can hear riffing. Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you. That's just a legitimate business call. It's reception saying, hey, we've got four more guys down here. Do you want to send them up?

We're close to channel 10. We can get better talent on this podcast, whatever it is. Wow. No, that's, I have a rat test arriving. Oh covered by the way no yeah yeah yeah nice i'm gonna do a rat test before i go we could all like so in here in that case they've probably wrapped the three randoms are coming yeah yeah yeah no i had covered a month ago so i reckon i'm good oh yeah and i got it in tasmania so it's like fucking weird that's where my parents got it that's where you're from yeah that's my home um but it was like a weird variant like very different

covid's crazy guys we haven't talked about it yet on the show yeah this could be the debut wouldn't know haven't had it think it's a hoax oh fuck yeah that's awesome yeah but yeah um uh the uh yeah i met this guy in Sydney And he was one of those guys Who's like clearly Super into comedy But also like wants to be cooler Than every comedian he meets

Yeah So he's like Not hard Yeah exactly It's like What are you putting in All this effort for Just be you

Like he was like Ah you Yeah What's your name Like cause I met him Through a friend And I was like Oh Tommy

And he's like Yeah nah But like Tommy Tommy what And I'm like because i met him through a friend and i was like oh tommy and he's like yeah nah but like tommy tommy what and i asked him he goes yeah yeah do you do that do you what do you do you do something like oh my god i do this podcast and he's like yeah that's right yeah um what's it called fuck you're so close. The Little Dum Dum Club. And he goes, oh yeah, that's right. I came to one of your live shows up here. Me and my mate smuggled a bottle of wine in,

got fucked and we were heckling Larry Emder. And it's like, so you've got, you knew all the whole time. You've got like crystal clear memory. This like fucking wild goose chase that you, you're pretending to not even know my fucking name or the name of the pod.

I had someone do that. They came to, I did a gig at like the room at, Oh my God. And they're here right now. This is the first time we've used so many sound effects. Yeah, there's so much foley. I'm just going to grab my rat test.

Into the sound bank, into the royalty free sound bank. Oh wow, just Drop and run Bail Fuck yeah Alright I had a guy come up to me After a gig

At the casino In Sydney Right And the casino gig Is not Amazing No don't tell me A casino is not good

A casino is not even The best place to gamble Yeah It's not the best for anything Yeah right And it's not I think it's on like A Wednesday night or something Anyway And it's it's a free gig like oh like kind of just off

the gambling floor i don't know i was really going through a thing of like i can do any gig yeah yeah and i'll make it work yeah anyway and so like of course i died and um but no one did good uh that night i don't think i don't think anyone like everyone was good but no one did good that night, I don't think. I don't think anyone, like, everyone was good, but no one did good. Yeah. And this guy came up who was in the audience. He's, like, the only young bloke in the audience. And he came over and he's like, yeah, tough night, eh? Yes.

He's like, yeah, I'm thinking about getting into comedy myself. And my friend told me about this gig that's on and it's free here. And I thought I'd come watch. And, yeah, he said it was pretty rough. And I'm like, cunt, you're the one watching comedy at a casino on a Wednesday night. Like, fuck you. It was rough because you were a shit audience.

I mean, that is great. Like you going to a gig like that and just seeing everyone eat shit and then that being the thing that inspires you to start comedy. And then you do more and more and more and eventually, guess what, cunt? You're on it that year. Yes. You cross the picket line and you see how fucking tough it is.

And then someone comes up and goes, rough night. And you go, I was you. The cycle starts again. I was you five years ago. No, don't do it. I'm going to kill baby Hitler right now. Well, I did a gig the other day in Thailand, having just got back. I accidentally did a gig in that I was in Copenhagen,

on the tiny little island of Copenhagen. It was insane. We came out of the hotel and we walked past this place and it had a big sign at the front saying, Tonight, open mic comedy, 7pm. I'm not saying this is a boring story, but Jen's doing a rat test while I tell you. I'd rather shove a swab up my nose than pay attention to a story.

I just don't want to give too much crinkle crinkle. I listen to your bad comedy story. Yeah, it sounds brutal. I hope I've got it and I get to self-isolate right now Sorry, I just I do have to be somewhere It's fine, it had to be mentioned You've got to be on TV in one hour

It's fine Yeah, now you're just Stirring your nostril Anyway It's been a while, hasn't it? Yeah, yeah Damn Stirring your nostril. Oh, anyway. It's been a while, hasn't it? Damn.

I bet someone's got an OnlyFans for this. I bet there's some e-girl who's got... Oh, it'd be someone's kink, absolutely, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Paid $20 to watch me get swabbed. Yeah, you guys. You fucking idiots. Oh, that gag was so good, it made Jen's eyes water. That's nice.

Hey, don't throw out that swab. We'll sell it after the show. Sorry, what were you saying about some shit, Carl? I was in a Thailand casino. No, me and my wife and child walked out past a cafe that said, open my comedy 7pm tonight. And it was about 6pm or something. And I legit, out of all the stuff in thailand that i get excited by that

was the most like i was like oh my god i can't believe there's gonna be comedy over the road from our hotel how did your wife react she was like uh oh yeah that could be good i guess but like she wasn't like super down on it because she didn't come to comedy she's actually not that burnt out by comedy because she came to comedy like 12 years ago twice and then went well i've done that now well she's done comedy as well years ago twice and then went well I've done that now well she's done comedy as well sorry

she's been on stage with you through comedy did you think about getting the double act back together no no she did do a little bit

on Dum Dum Con on the fan convention a couple of days before but yeah that was enough she got a few laughs on that so we walked past

and said open my comedy and I was like oh my god fuck I actually want to go because it's so remote like if you walked past that sign and like here even but even like bangkok or something it's like well that's a big enough city where it's like there'd be like a bit of a scene so you would just be seeing people that regularly do comedy there that are like probably just like fine yes but you know in that remote of a place it's like who the

fuck is doing comedy here Absolutely And it's not even Koh Samui It's Koh Pin Yang Which is a more remote way again No direct flight So it's not like anyone's like No one's like flying in to do the gig there You know what I mean

It's essentially like a tiny country town Yeah yeah yeah Is Koh Pin Yang like a place where people might run away to? Yes So this is people ticking off stuff off their bucket list, going, right, I've always wanted to... This is a pretty hippie guy dive. I've always wanted to fucking...

Yeah, yeah. Imagine that. You're at the gig and it's like Louis C.K. And it's just like all these people who are like out of this and living it up. Counts cancelled. Just these like killing in front of like 20 backpacks on this island.

And it says 7pm and they start at 6 p.m. And we're going to dinner. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I wonder if we can get back in time. So I go inside. No entrees. Straight to the mains, too. Let's fucking wrap this up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just straight to 7-Eleven. Toasted sandwich, thanks. I want to get a good seat. You're saying to the waiter, hey, we've got a key. Can we wrap this up? Come on, like, get us some food outside. Can we wrap this up? Come on. Get us good food out. What cooks quickest in this place? So I go into the place and go,

oh, 7 o'clock. Is it sold out? Yeah. And they go, oh, actually 7 o'clock is when you sign up. 8 o'clock is when it starts. Okay. Fuck.

Good intel to have. You don't have to rush. Yes. So we go and have a nice luxurious dinner and then go back. And by that time, the kid's fallen asleep. Wife's like, no, I don't want to rush. Yes. So we go and have a nice luxurious dinner and then go back. And by that time, the kid's fallen asleep. Wife's like, no, I don't want to go to this anymore. I'm like, that's fine.

That's fine. There's still some people on the island that came over for Dum Dum Con 22. So I'm like, come over. There's comedy here. You know, you guys have come over to see the other stuff. Come and see comedy. And I go in there and I'm like, fuck, this is so exciting. I go there and I'm thinking this is going to be the worst open mic of all time uh going there it is

fucking heaving it is looking like the it on paper like it looks like the best gig you'd see in australia yeah yeah totally because we're used to like in big cities that have a lot of stuff going on yeah you try and get trying to get people to arts. They're so like spoiled for stuff to do. You have to like work to get people in. But you're on a tropical island. Everyone's like backpackers and stuff. And you see a sign saying comedy tonight. It's like, oh, that's something we haven't done on the holiday.

Cool. Have a drink. It's free. Sick. That'll be fun. Absolutely. So I go in there and it is heaving. Not only heaving, but heaving with the best looking audience I've ever seen.

They are all eights minimum. Right. And it's all like 20. Sorry, in Thailand you can't say they're all eights minimum and get away with it, okay? Wow. What do you mean? Some people might think you're talking about age there, Carl, and I just don't want those rumors out there about you.

You're a good friend. Wow, I did not get that. You don't go there for dodgy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, and I just don't want those rumours out there about you. You're a good friend. You don't go there for dodgy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, let me say this. There was no one originally from Thailand in that gig.

It was all, because it's like quite a bit And that's what you like, right? The colonisation of a small country. I felt safe there. I spent five years arguing against,

no, I don't want to fuck everyone in Thailand that comes from Thailand. Now I'm fucking having to do the opposite. It was whites only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That was just clued in.

Thailand do not want to go to comedy. It's fine. It was all these hippies and whatever. And so going there, it is fucking heaving. I'm going, fuck, this is going to be so funny. Where are you sitting? Are you like up the front? There's no room.

Okay. You're standing up the back. Way up the front? There's no room. Okay. You're standing up the back. Way up the back. Standing room only. That's crazy. Yeah. Way up the back and like hitting up these others. How do I get on?

I'm going to do a trial show there. Yeah. This is me going fucking, I'm only going there to like hang shit. I'm only going there to watch like how bad this is going to be. I'm just going to get pissed and go, ha, this is funny. And I'm like saying to the cavalry, like, come aboard. You know, come over and we'll get pissed and laugh

at whatever shit this is. And I get in there and I go, oh, I'll get a beer. And they go, no beer. Oh, what sort of spirits do you have? No spirits. Not licensed. Not licensed at all.

I'm like, oh no. So I'm just sitting here. You can't break the rules in Thailand. Not, not, yeah, that's it. You're looking at like lemonade stands down like five minutes away. Yeah, just fucking any, do licenses exist there? Apparently they do. They're looking at like lemonade stands down like five minutes away. Yeah, just fucking any. Do licenses exist there?

Apparently they do. They're going, no, we don't have a license. It's like, they're selling beers out of a hole in the ground five minutes away. What the fuck are you talking about?

Fuck. So, and then the other guys are like, that I'm hitting up going, no, I'm not interested. I'm like, what the fuck? You guys are comedy fans.

Come and see the comedy. So then I start watching it going, I'll watch it for like 10 minutes and this will be a bit of a laugh and whatever. And I've already had quite a few beers. Just pounding him at dinner to get ready for the gig. Just right loading. Yeah, absolutely.

So I watch the MC open up and it's like, this guy fucking sucks. This guy's no good. What's he doing? Is he doing crowd work? Is he doing... Because I would imagine the stress for me in that situation would be anything that's like your material, it's too specific.

But then anything broadly about the island, it's like... I mean, at a certain point, just everyone's done it all. You know what I mean? What was the MC like? Was it like British dude? I'm pitching Carl Legacy. American guy. I'm pitching Carl Legacy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, American. What do you do for work, mate? American guy. Is he doing crowd work? Is he like talking about the island? Opens with this. Opens with this.

Goes, yeah, I was talking to my manager and he said, I'll get you the comedy cellar in New York. I said, no, I'll get to the comedy store in LA. I said, no, I want to do a cafe in Copenhagen. And everyone just goes, okay, cool. Love a bit of it. There's a few comics in Melbourne who do that same opening thing and it's always like, dude, you're not better than this room. But also the audience are going, yeah, I agree.

What a great gig this is. We're in literal paradise. Yes, exactly. Yeah, we've talked about this before. Yeah, there's a few people who go, yeah, I said to Carl, I'd only do this gig if there was a rat test on the counter and a yellow jacket hanging up. And it's like, what do you do when you're just in a nice theatre?

It's like, I told them I'd only do this gig if there was a stage and a big red curtain behind me and a microphone yeah and here i am yeah yeah and people yeah that is all right affirmation of fact yeah so he does well you signed this affidavit he does that as an opener and it's like i get what you're trying to do you've sort of muffed it a little bit yeah But I understand it And then he proceeds To then do like Three or four minutes of stuff Where I'm like Not only did you fuck that joke

You absolutely do not have a manager Yeah Yeah Are you trying to figure out Like what Like are these people that Yeah do comedy Yes

For their job And they're on a holiday Yes Or are they just like They're just fucking Living out of a backpack And they're They're like

They're doing bucket listing You know they're like They've come there and they're like, they're doing bucket listing. You know, they're like, they've come there and they're like, oh, there's an open mic night. I have no idea

how anyone is here and why they're there or anything. That would be the fun game trying to figure out where they are. Because he's got the American accent,

I think we all have that cultural cringe where you hear an American voice and you go, well, this guy, this guy could be fucking

This guy comes from the land of stand-up. Exactly. He's got it in his blood. So here we go. And so he just gets up there and does that joke. And then just bombs. Just checking notes and whatever.

You're MC. Imagine checking notes when you're on stage. No. Some stuff is too good to remember. The brain simply cannot contain it Exactly And then See checking notes is great

Like checking joke What else is going on here Yeah What the hell Second joke is pretty rough When you're MCing I would have thought But yeah

So he gets up And he starts bombing Is the vibe Do you reckon like Someone He must have told someone Down the village Like yeah I do stand up

And they've got Great Let's do a night. We have an unmasked spa. Yeah. Yeah. We need some way to bring people in because it's not the fucking booze. Oh, no, but here's the thing, because it's in a quite trendy area in Copenhagen

where a lot of these people sort of gravitate towards. And it's a vegan cafe as well, which, to be fair, a lot of them are quite vegan as well so i think this is a place that that people do go anyway right so i think that's why did you get the impression that this has been going for a while this comedy night is no no okay it's new yes okay so we could pitch to be like a monthly camera oh absolutely oh they were they were like the vegan cafe they were like, the vegan UK family, they were like wrapped.

There were so many people in there because it's like, I walk past there, put it this way, this is the culture in that area, literally over the road. This is what I did the day before. I went in there for breakfast.

The hotel we were in was like quite pop at that point and they didn't do breakfast. So I brought my daughter over to get breakfast, to get scrambled eggs on toast. And I accidentally paid. It was like 200 baht, which is essentially about $8, something like that.

I think I accidentally paid with like 1,000 baht notes instead of 100 baht notes. So I paid them 2,000. So 80 baht. So like, yeah, about 80, 90 bucks. Fucking hell. hell gave them that and then just sort of went oh I'll keep the change or whatever

and then walked away and then got home and went a couple of hours later went where'd all my fucking money go like what what did I do with all my money

and you don't remember a look on their face no no to suggest like no but this is what happened next so I was like fuck I traced it back

that's the only place I could have lost all this money and then went back there the next two days to try and get breakfast just closed for two days oh they're on holiday yeah yeah yeah yeah just said fucking hell we got like 90 bucks fuck this fuck going to work anymore that's great yeah so um so you don't recall them bit like taking the money and being like, no visible sign that you were paying ten times the amount. No, no, no. I put the money down and walked away. I didn't go, here you go. Yeah, right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, at the gig. So I start watching it and you go, and the first act goes on bombs, second act goes on bombs. You can tell the audience are all right. So then all of a sudden I'm like, no, actually, I think I might sign on. Yeah! I'll I might sign on. Yeah.

I'll bring this gig back. Yeah, crazy that there was a point where that wasn't going to happen. No, no, no. I legit just wanted to see what happened. Because I didn't have a, you know. Do you get this feeling when you're at a wedding or a wake and people are getting big laughs who aren't comics, going, I'd fucking destroy it, this gig.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any way of getting up here? I know the couple pretty well. I can get up and do a few things i was at um i was at a wedding a few months ago at the start of the year it was a it was an ex-girlfriend's wedding and yeah speeches it's like people are killing and it's like a lot of my mates were there and i was like this was like the week before comedy festival and i was like fuck i need this i was like is there any way i could like do a drop like no but like could i wedge my way in to do a drop? Can I fly her a wedding?

No, but could I wedge my way in and do a speech? It's like, I mean, it's my ex. Surely, talking from like, yeah, I wasn't the right guy for her, but glad she found the right guy. When I fucked her. Good on you, Mick. Guys who fuck this bride walk like this. Whereas people who broke up with her, we'd be walking like this.

What's the deal when she comes and she says this? Oh, actually, I don't really know. I would rule if that was a convention. Get the ex in just to, you know. I was invited to a birthday party. It was like all of my friends decided to – didn't decide. It so happened that all my friends turned 30 during the lockdown last year. So now all the rescheduled 30th.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like the 30th birthday of a woman is the most psycho and intense event of their life other than like a wedding is what I'm finding. And I am realizing in hindsight it was probably the most psycho event i ever put on because i sent out like a mood board for the theme which is fucking anyway but this one was like it was uh it was the 30th that was delayed we had to pay to go it was like 60 bucks we get like food and drink okay Okay. And there would be like entertainment. And then I found out later that the entertainment was just our other friends,

like hosting, doing dances. Yeah, no. Things like that. And then also they – You're just paying your mates to come to a party. Yeah. And then a week before that, a week before the party, we got an email being like, hey, guys, can you please film yourself doing this dance and we'll collate it

and we'll put it into a video that we'll play on the night? And I was like, I'm busy. I'm busy in lockdown. I'm busy. Just to go on the back of you paying your friends, I heard last night a comic was saying he was doing a gig up in Ballarat and he said, normally they say, said oh we'll pay you 150 and then the day of the gig the promoter called him and said hey do you mind if i pay you 120 because i normally uh make everyone dinner

beforehand but i just can't i don't have time but i'll just get pizzas but i can't afford it can i just get 30 bucks from that and pay for the pizzas? What? And he was like, so I'm paying for the pizzas for everyone? But he was like, I'm such a nice guy. I was like, yeah, okay. All right, yeah. I think that's fine. Like, yeah. Made me laugh so much.

I'll tell you who it was later. That's really good. I can guess, yeah. I know who was on the line-up last night, and I can only think of one person who would say yes to that. Yes. That's great. Just this, like, stress. It's like, I have to provide dinner for everyone in the gig. I know who was on the line up last night and I can only think of one person who would say yes to that. That's great. Just this stress.

It's like I have to provide dinner for everyone in the gig. That's part of the deal. I normally cook. That's the crazy bit. And that's why everyone's coming. But also, I normally cook, but I use zero dollars to cook the food? Yeah. How does that calculate?

It's probably just shitties just using like whatever roadkill yeah yeah fuck that is a promoter turning up with just a Tupperware container for backstage

that is good to walk into a green room and have the promoter walk in with like three Hawaiians and go this is on

Daslo by the way this is on you no worries guys you better be in the crowd laughing at the new stuff I'll tell you that I did that once at work.

We were doing this big outside broadcast at Triple J and they hadn't bought anyone dinner. So I was like, oh, I guess I'll buy everyone. And I bought dinner for everyone. And then the next day I went, I bought the receipts and I'm like, yeah, there was no food on site and we were there for 12 hours. So I bought dumplings.

And they're like no we're not gonna reimburse you for this no petty you didn't approve this purchase i'm like you didn't feed us what the fuck i was at an after party for a triple j thing once and there was like no beer there and everyone was just looking around going like god a beer would be good and i'm like oh okay so i get on tipple. It's almost like the ABC doesn't have any money. No, but it's funny. Like the Triple J Christmas party never had, you had to buy drinks. Oh, really?

And I always had like gigs on that night. So I'd be like, well, I'm going to go to the gig where I get free beer. And paid to be there. I'm sure I have to pay for pizza. Tommy's got it though. I'm happy to shout everyone pizza at gigs i do this was at a person's like house yeah and so people are just looking around going god some beers would be good so i get on tipple because it's like pretty late by this point and this person lived

like kind of they're they're they were like lived kind of in like a warehouse that was like at the back of a car park so it's kind of hard to direct tipple to us i had to put a note i'll just meet you in the car park and i just get a couple of six packs, take them into the party. They just go like immediately. And then it's like literally I don't get one. Like 20 minutes later, people are looking around going like, oh, yeah, more beer would be good. So I'm like, all right, back on tipple, I guess.

Dude, no. So I do it again. And like I get the same guy who's now just met me twice in a car park by myself. He's like, you're a little cuck bitch. Yeah, yeah. No sign that there's a party nearby. Just like, looks like me just demolishing 24 beers by myself. And because it's Tipple, I get up the next day, it's like, yeah, that was like a hundred

bucks in booze. I had like a sip of a beer. I haven't delivered that much booze to a comedian since F.O. Loughlin. All right, guys. Tipple have barred me. It's down to the chemist. I'm getting the hand sanitizer.

That's what you're on now, you fucking POV ABC cunts. Drink it up. Everyone suck on one of these hand wipes. Wet wipes. Also, I don't have COVID, everyone. Oh, yes. Hot scoop. Great.

Hot scoop. Okay, so now officially you're on the lineup. So I'm on the lineup in that I have asked the American MC, who's made it very clear at this point, he goes, I don't know why he said this, but he had everyone's name on stage, but he said, I'm not going to go through them in the order that I've got them there.

Oh, that's mad. Yeah, and it's like, why did you write them? Why are they on stage? Why are they in that order? I kind of love that, yeah. Yeah, so he goes, I'm not going to do that, which I'm going, well, great, because that means I'm not automatically last. Yeah.

I could be on soon. That would be great because they've said it's like a two-hour plus show. Right. Now, can I ask, when you sign up, how are you doing? Are you like – Do you say, I've done comedy before. I write for TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What bio do you get? I host a very successful comedy podcast. Do you get Spix and Spex over here? TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What bio do you got? I host a very successful comedy podcast. Do you get Spix and Spex over here? Yeah. No, at that stage, I'm looking at whoever's on. I'm like, I don't have to drop any names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Also, this guy is, I don't know whether this is a Thailand thing or this is how relaxed everything is. No one gets a surname. Okay, that's pretty cool. It's just a first name. I don't know that. Donna, Beyonce, Sting and Carl. That's great.

It's strange to me that you're saying the audience aren't giving it up at this point because it's like presumably young, travelling audience. They know the person on stage. Even if it's not great stuff, you would still imagine that they're just like, yeah. What I'm saying is they are keen, they want it to be good, and there are some laughs, but the people on stage are doing their best to fuck this. Dodgy, dodgy stuff.

Put it this way. Given that you haven't been to a very small Thai open mic gig before, let me tell you, it is universal. There are multiple guys at any gig around the world on the back of this that are doing bad rape jokes. Yeah, okay, right.

You can't escape it. It's gone global. It's gone global. It is. There is dodgy fucking awful gear around the world no matter what. You could go to Botswana

or whatever. These same jokes would be on the gig. Are you seeing a lot of pullback and reveals? A lot of people wanking and it turns out they're on the bus.

That'd be nice. And then Dad said. A bit of incest. I reckon that's global as well. Any doing stand-up is a bit like losing my virginity. Oh, yeah, that's absolutely. Yes. Is there any people think I'm gay stuff?

Yeah. No. Oh, okay. That's sick. First guy up, he just does the, yeah, doing comedy is a lot like losing your virginity and then just seeing like fucking 10 people up the back of the room just like crossing in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was the set list. Ah, fuck off. No, there was a guy that had the great one, which was, of course, I was very nervous about getting up tonight. So someone said, you've got to imagine the audience naked. Yeah. So then he goes, and it's like, okay, that's been, it's a very big trope or whatever. That's your first gig sort of thing.

But then he goes into sort of pretty graphic detail about how much he wanted to jerk his dick because he was like looking at, like he's pointing at women and going, now I'm imagining your boobs and stuff like this. Now this is awesome. Puffy nipples, man. Puffy nipples, man. Those guys who went to Dum Dum Con

And didn't do this What are you doing I know Fucking wastes of money Fuck that's such a great Twist on a classic Like you doing an hour show That's just

Josh Earl imagines The audience naked And it's just like You to every One by one Every person in the room Like trying to I reckon you've got

A birthmark Circumcised Not circumcised You've get some weird Level of trim Yeah Weird fungal thing On your toenails

Like yeah So So I'm And I'm still going And so I've signed up going I could be on anytime And then he starts going through And then

And I'm going Hang on You are absolutely doing everyone In the order that Okay right He's fucking just said that So I'm back I love that he's like I'm gonna fucking just said that. So I'm back.

I love that. He's like, I'm going to fucking, they're not going to know. And that's me on stage. I'm flowing. Yeah. I'm flow stage. Yeah. And this guy, oh man, this guy, this guy was so bad as well. Because the other thing was most of the acts were like from other countries.

There's a lot of like people from Russia and Israel and stuff like that. And then it's like you give them a bit of like leeway because it's, it's not their first. Cause they're Russian. They go into a tough time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And your sovereign rights don't mean anything to me. There was quite a few defensive open mic Russian comedians, actually. Oh, yeah, baby. It wasn't me that did it. Yeah, fuck, I was going to say, I'd love to look up this MC, but we only have his first name. Yes. Can't find him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe that's why. They genuinely are all on the lam. It's like, no, no, no, no surnames. Well, he said he was leaving, so he's obviously going back to do the Comedy Cellar and the Comedy Store like his agent insisted. He filmed that gig. He filmed that open mic. Yeah, yeah,'s obviously going back to do the Comedy Cellar and the Comedy Store like his agent insisted. He filmed that gig. He filmed that open mic, sent it to the manager.

They sent it to the cellar, sent it to Mitzi Shaw. Sent it to Mitzi. So the night's rolling on and I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, are you sure you don't have any grog out the back or anything like this? I'm now watching two hours of fucking open mic. You're staying across the street though. Can you just n nip over and just pound a few and then head back in it's not a bad idea you're not just watching your raw dogging open mic like that's yeah yeah yes yes intravenous open mic no barriers yeah yeah and in the worst way too where you've had a few beers

before and so it's like you're sobering up which is already like a weird feeling mid-show. You know, I've been looking forward to this trip for so long and I'm like sitting there very heavily in my mind going,

I'm wasting two hours in paradise seeing one of the worst gigs I've ever fucking seen. I could be watching this in Melbourne and it would be better and I'd still be hating it. And you'd be paid to get in.

You know, yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. So it's going on and going on and then it's like, okay. And also, he said to everyone, it's five minutes,. So it's going on and going on. And then it's like, okay.

And also he said to everyone, it's five minutes, right? It's dead on five minutes, everyone. Unless you're killing, then do ten. Whoa. That's good. Guys, everyone does ten. Absolutely. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Everyone is bombing out of their brains and still doing ten minutes. That is like an unspoken. I was going to say that would be a great rule at every gig. But it's like that people do just at any gig treat that as like an unspoken thing of like yeah i'll get up there and plan to do five but then it's like fuck i'm crushing i'm just gonna keep going someone was telling me about a gig they watched where they were like first five absolutely slammed but then the act decided to do 15 and so first five slammed the last 10 some of the worst comedy ever performed and that person never performed again. Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you later. That's a weird circumstance to kill within the gig that made you want to stop. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think they were like five minutes and they were probably like, yeah, this is why I do comedy. Yeah.

And I'm going to go with it. Yeah. And then they weren't with it. And they're like, I can't come back from this. Everyone's going to hear about that 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah. What a ratio. One third killer.

10 minutes filler. Like a cordial of a bomb. Cordial comedy. Every act does one third of the set great. One third is almost too good. But you don't know which third? or comedy every act does one third of the set great and two thirds shitty one third is almost too good but you don't

know which third could be the first third could be the second or the last the pressure

if you haven't done it by two thirds wow he's put the cordial on top it's a spider he's put oil

so it doesn't mix in but if you don't get the five minute crush then you do have to quit comedy It's on top. It's a spider. He's put oil so it doesn't mix in. But if you don't get the five-minute crush, then you do have to quit comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, then everyone gets to stand up and go, no, that was just water.

That's water comedy. Water section, water section. They get little paddles to hold up, like, pour you a little water. There should be more gigs where it's like, everything's on the line. If you don't do well at this, you're out forever. And if you kill the entire time, that's too sweet.

You get diabetes. You've got to lose a foot. King Cotties. You get the crown. Nothing but cordial. Wow. Yeah, love it. That's like, I didn't kill.

I did nothing but cordial.'d you get another mate cordial bit of fruit cup out there yeah my dad picks the fruit put it this way if a kid drank me up all night yeah bouncing off the walls getting very silly back there Full Ribena Yeah Oh god So I'm sitting around So everyone's doing

10 minutes at this point Which is killing me Kings Kings of comedy The fucking worst Everyone's in there And are you picking Are you able to see

The moment where it's like They think they're really They're going for 10 here They think they're getting away with it Nah They're all tone deaf They're all tone deaf And they're all

They'll all like die But at points they're going anyway this is only my second gig ever in comedy love that yeah there we go oh I'm getting

an applause break I guess I'm doing ten yeah encore I guess I guess that's an encore I guess and you just and like I said at the start

everyone's doing their the audience is doing their very best to be like we're here we're supporting the arts this is something different you know this is not some sort of like naked fucking dance in the middle of the jungle like

we're doing every other night yeah like this is this is something let's let's let's support this and so they're laughing at everything they think's mildly funny and then like an hour in they go oh fuck and you start to see some of these people just streaming out of the venue like some of these there's no break no no break okay some nines walking out of the venue. Like some of these. There's no break. No, no break. Okay. Some nines walking out of the venue. No. Nah. I'm like. Sad to say goodbye,

but I'd love to see you go. You're trying to stop them on the way out. Like, hey, just got word. There's like a big drop in headline. Yeah. A big international act. Famous Australian. Don't, don't Google him.

Don't Google him. But, but, so then it keeps going on. I'm going, oh, well, at least I know the order. At least I'm like, National Avenue. Don't Google him. Don't Google him, Bart. So then it keeps going on. I'm going, oh, well, at least I know the order. At least I'm like, and I'm like, you know, all the names are like sort of weird. And I'm like going, I don't know who the, I'm trying to match like who's going up next. You put a photo up on the socials of this whiteboard

where the names are written. And it's just fucking chaos. It's like, it's sort of in an order, but not really. It's like someone's shopping list where they're just writing like, ah, whatever, this can go here. Parts of it are like smudged off. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like looking at it and because there's like Russian people

or whatever, I'm like, hmm, I wonder who around here is named Wodge. And I'm trying to pick like who's the Wodge around here or whatever. Wodge? Someone's about to get up and say, Wodge, am I after Wodge or not? Wodge is like Russia's Husey. Wodge? Someone's about to get up and he's like, Wodge, do I have to watch or not? Wodge is like Russia's Husey. Wodgey.

I'm angry. I'm angry about fucking you know who. Yeah. Back at the snakes alive open me. Oh, watch.

Watchie's losing it. So eventually I've got a track of the list of the open micers who were going on. I'm like, great, finally I'm on. This is like 10 to 10. It started at 8. Yeah, 10 o'clock. Yeah, 10 to 10. I'm like, fuck, finally. That yeah. Yeah, 10 o'clock. Yeah, 10 to 10.

I'm like, fuck, finally. That's all right. That's, you know, that's pretty standard geeking. Yeah, but no break. Two hours, no break, no booze. Two hours straight up. Yeah, no booze. And no jokes.

Yeah, exactly. People bombing for two hours. And the nines have left. Yeah, that's true. And the front row too. It's just a fucking room full of threes now. Yeah. No, it's a room full of just sevens at this point.

Oh, God. Slops. And what are people doing? fucking room full of threes yeah no it's a room full of just sevens at this point oh god slops yeah people and what are people doing people just what crushing like banana smoothies and shit

in the crowd yeah so there is a like they are serving stuff people are kind of consuming yeah but I think the culture is don't get up and interrupt the acts

while they're bombing just like culture yeah but there's no like no one got up to get a drink or anything right right

backpacker culture yeah they did it to start with. They didn't do it during. Okay, right, right. Yeah, so they're just sitting still not laughing for two hours. That's crazy that the bar are going to have to learn that. Yeah.

Are you, your instincts are firing up? You're going up like, put a break in next time, guys. Exactly. Sell more smoothies. Yeah, and at the end it's like, come back next time. You know, bring your empties back.

Check your jug, yeah. Help out the bartenders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. Round of applause for the most important people in the venue, the bartenders. yeah all that stuff round of applause for the most important people in the venue the bartenders

yeah round of applause for the blender doing all the great work tonight yeah for the go-go berries or whatever they call it go-go berries

go-go berries so finally it's like my turn I'm like fuck alright here we go and I literally do the thing where I get up and I'm side of stage

and I'm like here we go here we go and then they go anyway next up Wobbsy and I'm like here we go here we go and then they go anyway next up Wobbsy and I'm like oh fuck they bumped me for Wobbsy

Russian Wobbsy yeah and then this guy's gone on an English guy goes on performing and I'm like oh fuck

because I was about to follow a couple of people who were like you know Swedish and Russian and Israeli and stuff like that and I'm like

this is going to be this is going to be my thing I'm going to be the point of difference English speaker you've got your open ah finally some canukin and Israeli and stuff like that. And I'm like, this is going to be my thing. I'm going to be the point of difference. Yeah, yeah. You've got your open mouth. Finally, some can't who can fucking speak English. Exactly. The Queen.

Enough of this fucking ooga booga we've been hearing. Exactly. Now I've got to fucking follow Prince Charles. It is the worst when you think you've got you've got like a banger in the chamber That's just like specific to what's been happening And then something happens that like Puts it too far out of reach And you're like god damn that would have gone good

And you've like spent like the last 20 minutes Just fixating on it Yeah And then I'm going to walk out I'm going to say Can I say it still? It's been 10 minutes But can I still get

Nah better Yeah yeah yeah yeah All that stuff. So then he goes on to be some school teacher. And then he goes... And he's clearly never done stand-up before. He's some sort of performing arts teacher or something like that. Awesome.

Oh, is he doing a character or something? Yeah. No, so he starts doing this thing where he's encouraging people to yell at him. And he yells stuff out to make the story go differently or whatever. He's doing like theatre fucking games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's completely not got control of it. So he's like talking.

And so people are just yelling out whatever the fuck they want. And then he's going, oh, okay, I didn't really think this through. And it's like changing his routine. And then people are just thinking they're helping. But if you'd have walked in one minute and you'd have gone, this is the worst fucking game of all time. Right, right. They're feral.

Yeah, they're just screaming whatever they wanted. And thinking, wow, we're helping here. He's getting back to the UK and he of all time. Right, right. They're feral. Yeah, they're just screaming whatever they wanted and thinking, wow, we're helping here. He's getting back to the UK and he's telling his drama students, yes, I did stand up over in Thailand and I killed.

I did experimental improvised comedy in Thailand. And of course, I'm going, well, you know what's going to happen? I'm going to follow this and everyone's just going to

fucking scream at me. Like, this is how it works. Yeah, that'd be weird for you. So eventually, like 10 o'clock So eventually like 10 o'clock, it gets to 10 o'clock and it's like, then the emcee goes, all right, so next up is this guy. And again, this guy's got no fucking comedy chops

where he's like. Love that. He's saying this about you. No, no, no. He goes to intro me and he goes, anyway, this next guy is like, he's going to come on now. And I'm sort of stage.

So he's pointing at me as he's talking. Sick. So people are just looking at me. But he does a long intro. So everyone's just looking at me. And what do I do? Just sit there and do nothing. Incredible.

Yeah. Oh, you're trying to act out what he's saying? Yeah. What am I supposed to dance? It's like in corporate where they've just pulled your bio from the internet and you're just reading the whole thing while you're standing there. Or when they say your name and then keep talking about other stuff. It's like, oh, fuck, you've already said my name.

Can I tell you the worst introduction I've ever gotten? Please. Okay. It was by Gretel Kaleem. Fantastic. Big Brother's own. Professional host. Yes.

And it was basically... Is this when you were coming on to Big Brother? Yeah. An intruder. It was like an all female like comedy gala, but it was like marketed exclusively to boomers. So I was like, okay, this is going to be shit time. What is it like?

What? To be a woman in comedy? That's right. Thank you so much for asking. No one ever talks about it. No, but like usually like i love doing those gigs they're sick and like there's no old mate backstage holding court like it's mostly just uh everyone having a good time so that's nice but um no but it was like i don't know why they booked a non-

comedian to do like host a comedy gala but that's fine and we were talking backstage and it was like right after i got like attacked and stuff like that so i was just going through it and so she's like how are you and i'm like look honestly like i'm pretty i'm having a rough time but like i'm glad to be here and you know like i just want to get through it and blah blah blah she was like yeah yeah no that's great that's really good to see you i'm like great she walks out and she goes our next house having a bit of a rough time she's, she's really going through it. But, you know, you love Jen Fricker.

She's a comedian. No! She hosts the Triple J. Fucking no! And it's like a fucking gala. There's like a thousand drunk women. Did you go out there and just put tape over your mouth and hover signs saying,

Fred the Refugees? Ta-Refugees? But the best bit about that is I reckon it's like... Three of the good MCs. Yeah. You can imagine Gretel in her head going, God, I'm doing a great thing. I'm doing a good thing, yeah.

I'm really doing a nice thing for Jen here. You know what it is? Is that because I kind of access these like more like earnest spaces, I think, in comedy, like where it's a lot of like queer people and like arty people and like women and stuff like that. So I think in those moments, like sometimes people go like, it's good. We can be safe. We can be like vulnerable here, but it's like still a comedy show.

Yeah. And also like, I told like, that's me. That's like, if I was like, yeah, I've had diarrhea for like two days. And then you've gone out and you'd be like, oh yeah, this woman's arsehole is burning. She may only do three minutes because she'll have to run off again. I have had someone do that to me where I was like really crook backstage at a gig and being like, fuck. And it was like getting closer and closer to me being on

and it was like, oh, can this other person just go on before? Can I swap? And then the MC is like, yeah, this guy has been shitting up the storm. Thank you very much. Good to be here. I've just been absolutely riding the porcelain, so it's good to be anywhere. And it's like you're just trying to establish, and you've got, what, like seven, ten minutes? Yeah.

To just establish a good, but then now you've got to give like fucking context to this thing. It's like, so I go out and I'm like, Hey! How we feeling ladies? Anyone else? Crushingly depressed. Which are fucking bombs because like boomer women are like,

we don't talk about our feelings. We drink them. It was just horrible. Fuck, you need to get Gretel onto this fucking Copenhagen gig. Oh, yeah. His next act barely speaks English. Speaking of doing horrible turd on stage, get back to this MC. Can I just ask quickly, who do you think is running this gig?

Is it like, because it's so funny to think about, who's the person just like combing copen yang and just seeing this american guy and being like he's got the chops to host you know what i mean yeah i have no idea how this collection of people have been sorted i would say this guy is young enough into comedy that he's telling everyone yeah i'm a comedian i'm a comedian do you think he puts it on and he's just gone into the cafe and gone no i think in hindsight i think hindsight it's uh there was one lady on who who had you had clearly done it before who was okay okay yeah so i think it was her in hindsight

yeah she's okay it's her baby yeah yeah but he for some she didn't want to host it every week or whatever i think i think that's what what it was that's so funny it's just like it where are you like where are you picking these acts i don't know where the audience came from i don't know where the comedians came from. This is what drew me to the gig. I was like, I've got to fucking figure this out.

I reckon it's just literally everyone like you on holiday and just seen it and been like, oh fuck it, some bad comedy. I reckon they're all

going back to like Russia, Israel and talking on their comedy podcast every week. Podcasts around the world. I'm the only one. No one knows.

I'm a fucking killer. This story's been told ten times around the world. I got up at the end and did all these jokes like clearly from a fucking killer. This story's been told ten times around the world. Yeah, the guy got up at the end and did all these jokes, like, clearly from a joke book. Like, clearly. Yeah, folks, if you listen to any international podcasts

where this night comes up, let us know. Subscribe to Dust Dum Dum Club. Let us know their version of the story. That's so good. Yeah, so the MC's pointing. Big run-up to introduce you. Yeah, yeah. And also, to answer your question from before,

what I'm doing when I'm dropping my name, like how I'm getting on. I've just gone, yeah, can I hop on? And him going, oh, yeah, it's fine. Have you done it or anything like that? And I'm like, yep. And then that was it. Okay.

So he knows nothing. You just said that you've done comedy before. He just said, have you done it? I go, yes. Okay. That's it. That could have meant there last week for all he knows. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. So then he, he's pointing at me going, this next guy, this next guy, he, he's going to come on in a minute. And this next guy, he, he, he hit me up before. Has he done this for anyone else? He hit me up. Yeah.

It was like the worst intros. Yeah. It really was. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he was giving intros to this you know to people going this next guy's like um gonna be on i got no idea who he is and i talked to him before and he wasn't

that funny but he could be saving it for later i love this guy i love this concept of how comedians work no no i mean i wish his manager had told him not to say these things but anyway so he's putting me down this guy said he's gonna come on and he and when i met him before when i met this guy here we go he said to me i'm really really really funny so i can't wait to get on he's going through a bit of a tough time at the moment guys he might have read about on the newspaper he's going he's going he's going through a really tough time right now after I've said this. But just, yeah, really overreacted how I'd said it. And I'm like going, no, no, I'm not.

But like I'm nodding. I'm sort of going to the crowd, no, no. But they're like looking at me going, are you not funny then? Like what's going on here? So then eventually, and then it's like, so welcome to the stage. And there's no stage, of course. It's just a fucking, we're in a- It's a yoga mat.

Yeah, yeah. It's a special part of the ground. Yeah. Not everyone's allowed to walk on it. It's a sacred altar. Yeah, yeah. So then, and so I've got some bit about like- The Coliseum.

I think I'm on last. I'm just going to at least refer to that when I go on, you know, when I go on and say something there. Hell yeah. So then I walk on and I'm like hey everyone welcome to stage Carl

yep great and people in the audience are like the Carl yeah I walk on oh so I'm the last guy

and they go no there's a couple of people on after you and I'm like oh okay there goes that bit whatever that bit

was going to be so then I'm like okay well and I'm thinking of you know something to talk about like that's happening around us and so the wheels are turning yeah like you've had two hours to work on this the last guy was english and he was a school teacher so i've said something like

oh you know that last guy english you know school teacher you know that's it's it's not it's a nice outcome considering usually when english people come over here that they hang out with young children a lot, it usually goes a lot worse than that, doesn't it? Whoa. Nothing. You fucking class traitor. Boom. Nothing.

So then I'm like, okay, all right. A British school teacher, bit gay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So I think judged a raw comedy i know it's easy to dunk on raw comedy yeah it's but whatever but national open mic comedy yeah yeah so i was judging one of them in sydney this chick gets up she talks about being a lesbian she's like a bull dyke like really like heavy butch and she talks and she fucking crushes. All cordial.

All cordial. Oh, no. No water, right? Gets off. Everyone's like, clearly she's winning this heat. The next guy gets on. And I think he really thought he'd nailed it because he'd gotten on with like, he's wearing like a Hawaiian t-shirt and holding two cans of VB.

Right. A Hawaiian t-shirt. Yeah. Moon dog. A Hawaiian t-shirt, yeah. And so he's holding two cans of vb and wearing glasses inside so you know he's a crazy dude yeah anyway he gets on and he goes and i think he just was probably very carl chandler in that moment of like i'm gonna get on no one fucking knows i'm funny like and then has just seen this chick absolutely rock like

absolutely crush he gets on he goes well how am i meant to follow that fucking die and that was it that's you and then he just proceeds to try and Open one of his cans Of BB Oh man With the other can And then skull it And then he's like And his mates are Clearly there

Like all of them Have come to see him And he's just Humbled So good That is not Made for the record Wheeled in

Dual VBs It's a fucking Great intro Alright so you've Bombed for the first 30 seconds here Carl Yeah yeah yeah Well you know

15 seconds So then I've Pulled out the second Bit of like you know, 15 seconds. So then I've pulled out the second bit of, like, noticing things around the room. So then I've got... Topical. Yeah, I'm from Australia. You know, I was the only Australian person there. It's like...

And, you know, I've never done a gig here or anything, so it's a bit different to me. I mean, look, I'm in a... You just dunked on people being like, this is my only, my second gig. You're like, these fucking hats. It's leading somewhere. It's going somewhere. So it's like, I've never done second gig and you're like these fucking hacks it's leading somewhere it's going somewhere

so it's like I've never done a gig in a vegan cafe so I'm like well this this takes care of my opener and closer which is eating a steak

and then eating a block of cheese yep boom nothing nothing literally people not clapping

because you don't have the energy yeah you'll get it on the way home. I took the day off when I rode that one. They're just looking at me and I can hear someone go, yeah, you can't do that here. Yeah.

You're sweating. You're like, okay, you guys hear about this Roe v. Wade stuff? Go to the news. I'm like, fucking hell hell just bombing after two jokes I'm like I can't believe I'm bombing in Copenhagen I'm never gonna be able to show

I'm never gonna be able to come back to Copenhagen can someone recognise me yeah they've got good memories I'm gonna be banned from my favourite and the only people who like you

have fucked off with their $80 that you gave them the day before yeah yeah I um so then I go

Alright Click into the gear And then the gear goes good And then just I actually end up killing And it's very good by the end That's not what I heard How do you think that went?

No but then it was like You can't win Because you end up going well It's like well of course you did well Because you've got jokes And you're not You know Someone doing their first or second or third or you're just terrible like these other guys. So then everyone's coming around me and going,

oh, man, you were better than that guy. It's like, oh, better than the guy that can't speak English because they're first gig. Yeah, not too shabby, I guess. Yeah, not too bad. So at the end of this story, you're moving over there to start teaching comedy courses. No, they were very quickly like, oh, you were so good. I guess. Yeah, not too bad. So at the end of this story, you're moving over there to start teaching comedy courses. No, they were very quickly like,

oh, you were so good. I reckon you could come back next week. I'm like, thank you, but no. Resident host. Yeah, baby. I'm actually doing the comedy stuff. So yeah, it was all cool and whatever. But then at the end they go, oh, it's not unpaid.

It's like, it's paid. I'm like, oh, okay. It's paid. You've got to get an ABN over there. Is it? Okay. Okay, tax. All right.

So what are we getting? And they go, oh, you get, because it's a vegan cafe. They go, oh, we give you a cookie. Oh, okay. It's all right. All right. It's not bad. It's better than a lot of gigs here.

Yes, absolutely. So it's 10.30 at night and I've hung around for a little bit and then I'm going home. And I don't usually eat that late at night, especially when I haven't been drinking. I've been sitting there sober for fucking two hours. So they give me a cookie and I walk home, have a few nibbles and then go,

it's a bit of a waste but I don't want to eat any more of it, chuck it in the bin. Go to bed and then realise what sort of cookie it is because it is it has been legalized over there for like a week or something really yeah it had been legalized a lot for a week and then go to bed and then just have some sort of sleep paralysis and some sort of thing where i'm like up most of the night just like with the most i can't even figure out what it was in hindsight but when i woke up i was like you know you know those things you know when you have a dream and you go oh you know how your uncle is a dog remember that and you go yeah of

course my uncle's a dog you have that sort of thing i was having that all night where i'm awake i'm awake all night but i'm like well you know what that is that's the magic trick in my head i was thinking there's a magic trick that's fucking keeping me awake all night, but I'm like, well, you know what that is. That's the magic trick. In my head, I was thinking there's a magic trick that's fucking keeping me awake all night. So I then do not sleep all night because I think of the magic trick. And then I wake up in the morning and go, what the fuck was all that about? Did you get the rest of the cookie out of the bin? So you're saying it was all a dream? No, no, no.

You never went to Thailand, did you? Oh, no, absolutely not. So you're what? You're there, wife in the bed next to you, kid no, absolutely. So you're what? You're there, wife in the bed next to you, kid in the cot. Yep.

Sweating it up. You're just fucking going insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing laps to the bed,

just going fucking mental. That's honestly good in hindsight. You're like, yucky cookie. Yeah, and only had us

probably more than your actual I was so lucky. Like, that is very unlike me as well. So not just fucking demolished it. Because it wasn't soft like your Subway cookies. No, it wasn't too bad. I just literally was like, no, I think I've had enough tonight.

Like, I don't need too much more. I had a good gig. Just high off the gig, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, no. I was thinking, you know what? I was thinking, oh, well, I've done this before. I've had a few too many Cokes before I go to bed.

Better not eat too many cookies that might have too much sugar that might keep me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And make you think you've fallen into some kind of magical spell. Yeah. That's tight. I'd love that as payment in a gig. Just a little bit of the good stuff.

Hey, I have to be a bummer. I have to go. Yeah, well, guess what? We just hit an hour. Oh, shit. Sorry. Perfect timing. Okay. Let's wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Josh or Jen Freaker, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Josh, you've got your new pod, 100% hits. Volume pod. Yeah, and also I'm doing a show in Sydney on July 10 at the Vanguard. Don't you know how I am? The live show and, the live show, and also doing my show, Modern Contemporary. So go and get tickets if you're in Sydney. Get along and see that.

Jen? Pilot Week. Yeah. Yeah, me and Ben Russell are hosting a show called Time to Die. It's based on the podcast that Ben was hosting during lockdown. It's part of Channel Town Pilot Week.

So it drops on 10 Play on July the 4th and if people like it, hopefully we get picked up for a season. It's about comedy. It's about comedy. It's basically we get two comedians to write the absolute worst fucking set they could possibly write for another human being.

You wrote my two openers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can fly some of these people out for it. Wodges on. Yeah, no. So Tom Cashman and Sonia Diorio write each other two of the worst sets ever and then go perform it in front of a crowd

that have no idea what's going on and then Ben and I sit in the green room and judge them. It's brutal and very funny and I hope people like it so we can make more. Sounds up the alley of the people that listen to this. Hopefully, yeah.

Yeah, people who like bad comedy, yeah. When's it? Is it July? July 4th. You can stream it on Templay. Great. Cool. We've got our live show on air.

Yes, July the 16th. Scant few tickets left to that, but that's coming up very soon. Guys, thanks very much for listening, And we'll see you next time. See you, mate. And they've done it again. That was great. What a lot of fun we had then. I love podcasting in a hotel room.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. That's where we were. Two great guests. Lots of fun. Anything off the back of it? What did we talk about?

I can't remember. We talked about you doing stand-up. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah, that was a fair chunk of it, wasn't it? Um, yeah, I got sent a video for it. I don't think I'll share it. I haven't ever watched it.

But, uh, yeah. See if you can just sell it to, like, Tenplay or something. Oh, yeah. Shop it around. That's not bad. What would I call it? Um, my, my, My 10-minute special. Yeah.

Recording a vegan cafe. Killing them in Copenhagen. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's not bad. Ho, ho, ho, Copenhagen. It's a Christmas special. Yeah, but he's laughing. You just release it in December.

He's laughing. Yes, yes. You just put like an instagram filter over it so there's like snow oh yeah you've got a little santa hat on yes yes and yeah you dub in a few you dub in some sleigh bells over the top of it yeah and it's like people like it's snowing why is this cunt wearing shorts that is that now i think about it why is like ho ho ho that's only santa laughing and that is him laughing isn't it, ho, ho, that's only Santa laughing. And that is him laughing, isn't it? Ho, ho, ho, he's laughing.

That's interesting. I have never really in my head kind of envisioned it as laughter. I've envisioned it as that's Santa's catchphrase. Yes. He's just saying ho, ho, ho. That's laughter. I guess so. But just no one else gets to laugh like that.

If you say ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho it's like well that's why are you doing santa but that's laughter that's he's trademarked laughter well also because it's like that's supposedly you know on christmas night the sleigh is like you know it's flying through the air and you can just hear that off in the distance so he's like he's he's going ho ho ho as he's like traveling around doing his job of dropping off presents yeah so he's just what like just cacking it to himself up there in the sleigh, just like, God, this is absurd, isn't it? Going around, going down chimneys.

Fuck, you have to laugh. It's a crazy life. That's it. It's like, because it's always followed by Merry Christmas. It's like, fuck, what's so funny, cunt? This is your roughest day of the year. This is the only day you have to work. Well, maybe he's laughing.

Maybe he's laughing because it's like he's gone down the chimney. This family's left out milk and cookies for him he's loving that but guess what the kids were naughty so he there's no outlay for him he's getting a free feed and he's leaving them a bit of coal so he's just laughing yeah exactly so he's just laughing at how he's fucking pulled one over on them it's like they don't think they would have left out a feed if they'd known they'd been naughty little boys and they were going to get a big old lump of coal. Question to the listeners. Let us sound off in the groups, in the Facebook groups or on the socials, wherever.

Did you ever get that? Were you ever naughty enough to get the lump of coal or to get fuck all and to have your parents teach you a lesson? Fuck, that's a good question. Yeah. Because that's, I mean, that's the whole point of that. Yeah. Is to like, you know We should maybe also issue a warning

Anyone listening with kids in the car Oh yeah Turn the pot off now Yeah Or 20 seconds ago Every episode Yeah Not just this subject matter

I mean, it does happen, I guess Yeah We've talked about this before You can just say whatever else you want But the minute you get into Santa territory That's when like That's the radio rule Fire up, yeah

That's the radio rule But yeah, I mean, that's the whole point of it right it's to it's it's like a it's to inspire good behavior yes but i mean there's lots of things that parents do to inspire good behavior but they're not actually going to follow through on it right have i told you i was on a family trip i was on a trip once with my friend's family we're driving back from their holiday house and my friend was just being a complete cunt in the backseat. And his mum was doing the whole, if you don't fucking stop this, I'm kicking you out of the car. And he just keeps going.

And she pulls over. And she's like, get out. And we're like on the side of the freeway. Great. And he's like, oh, really? And she's like, get out. And she just won't move the car and he gets out how old oh i reckon like fuck i reckon like 10 10 11 so he gets out it's like middle of winter it's like

dark it's pitch black wow and we just drive off nighttime highway nighttime highway gone then it's just me and this kid's mom fuck just in the car and i'm like in my head and i'm obviously this wasn't the case but in my head we go for like 45 minutes before we go back i'm and i'm freaking out like i'm because i'm thinking like fuck this bitch is on one this like yeah she's serious yeah i'm thinking if she's treating her own son like this what am i about yeah yeah yeah exactly but i'm also thinking, like, he's dead. Like, I'm going to have to get home. And, like, I'm going to have to tell my parents, like,

we've got to get in the car and drive down to Dramana and get Alex. I think he's dead. You're the kid on the news. I was there. Yeah, totally. So then eventually it's like I don't say anything. Like, I'm sitting in the back seat, terrified, silent. Like now I know what she's capable of.

And also you're on a highway, which means it's not that easy just to turn around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're on that stretch, like before you get onto the, like, you know, as you're going along the coast, like coming back from like Rosebud, Dramana, like kind of that bit. Right.

Sort of. Not really. Right. Well, we're Kind of along there So it It felt like so It felt like hours But you know

Maybe it was like 10-15 minutes Right That she's like Like turns the car around Yeah yeah And we go back and we Even 10-15 minutes

That's That's a long time I mean It's a long time to be If it was over 5 minutes That's insane Right Anything over

The kid Not being able to See the car anymore is just like that. Once you're past the horizon, that's bad. So we come back and he's like, he gets into the car and he's like, I knew you were coming back. Like trying to be all tough, but you could see his face is just carved in tears. Like he's just been bawling his eyes out, but still trying to be all tough but you could see his face is just carved in tears like he's just been bawling his eyes out but still trying to like

yeah I knew you were going to come back yeah I knew you were going to come back oh you knew your mum wasn't

gone forever you knew your mum wasn't going to have you fucking murdered but like I always think about how like if we

had have come back and he's just gone. Yeah. Imagine that. Absolutely. The escalation of that. Absolutely. That's fucking crazy.

What a story. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to talk about my child dying. Oh, my God, what happened? Was it like, you know, some sort of disease? No, no. I left him by the side of the road.

It is, yeah, to teach him a lesson. And I guess I did. Yeah. But too late. I also learned a lesson now he's in no position to follow up on the lesson but also like just imagining we come back and he's gone that's like that's the start of a true crime podcast where then presumably the rest of the drive back to melbourne is my friend's mom just going like now let's get our stories

straight oh yeah you know what i mean like she has like, cut me in on it and be like, now, when you get back, what are you fucking telling your mum and dad? Or, like, you know, there's already one kid missing. What's the difference between one and two kids missing? Like, I've got one kid here. Right. Who I'm not even that attached to. Well, that's more of a believable story. Me and him went playing together.

There you go. And we both went missing yeah it's too because it's like how do you explain oh we stopped at a public toilet and yeah he was just in there for ages and then we busted the door open and he was gone like what you know what can you possibly concoct yeah but yeah the two of them went the two of them went for a swim and then i don't know they were just gone they must be out there together we went for a swim and i dropped off those two 11 year old boys for a swim and then, I don't know, they were just gone. They must be out there together. We went for a swim. I dropped off those two 11-year-old boys for a swim at 9.30 at night near Dramada. Nice little paddle. And I don't know what happened.

Yeah. Fucking hell. What a traumatizing. Yeah. I should look that guy up on Facebook and try and find him and hit him up and just be like, do you remember this? Yes. Because I think about it literally any time the topic of tough love parenting comes up.

Right. That's front and center of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's the only time I can remember as a kid seeing the sort of empty threat, we'll turn this car around or whatever, actually following through on it. An actual full threat. And I thought it was being followed through on forever. Yeah.

You should eat it up and just go, I've been thinking about it. full threat and i thought it was being followed through on forever yeah you should you know just go i've been thinking about it but um you know that time when uh your mom dropped you off by the highway and you said i knew you were coming back i reckon you didn't i don't think you did i've been thinking yeah it's time to be honest we're nearly 40 it's time to own up or i go or i go to him hey man it's been ages do you want to, you know, I remember I have such fond memories of all the time we spent down at Germano at your family house. Why don't we, like, let's go for a drive and just, like, you know, get dinner down there and just reminisce.

And then we, like, go for a drive and I get to the exact spot. I pull over. I'm like, get out. And he's with his kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cycle begins anew. Would you have the stones to follow through on a threat like that with Blanket? Like, when push comes to shove, could you go through with Christmas Day,

her running out into the Chandler family fireplace, there's a little stocking with Blanket, and she opens it up and there's coal in it. Oh, I thought you were going to... Could you follow through with it? I would not do the leaving by the side of the highway. Would you chuck your kid out of a moving car to teach her a lesson? That sounds insane. But, yeah, it's...

Yeah, look, it's going to be interesting. We're getting to the age of, like, you know, you have to start teaching lessons and that sort of thing. And it's like... And my wife is, no surprise, a softer touch than I. Yeah. But she's, like, way too soft. It's like, you know, she'll say to me,

oh, what do I do? You know, Blanket's just done this. And I'm like, you do remember you're an adult, right? Like, you can... You hold all the cards. Yeah. You just... She doesn't want to go to bed.

Cool. Just make her go to bed. Yeah. Like, it's bedtime. It's nine o'clock. She's not choosing her own destiny at three. Sorry. Just make her go to bed yeah like it's bedtime it's nine o'clock she's not choosing her own destiny at three sorry just make her go to bed it's um i'm always interested comparing because my girlfriend's nephew is like roughly the same age as blanket and he was a he was like

born prematurely and was like like you know in in hospital for ages after he was born in the little fucking incubator thing and they were like repeatedly told like this is this kid's not making it right and so he's like because of that they're very like you know they really don't over him yeah and he just fucking takes the piss right he's just fucking running laps around these cunts and you're just like yeah yeah you're just watching it get like him get older and older and like the tantrums get more and more severe and it's like something's gonna have to give here

like but now it's like they're just kind of letting it go too long and it's like fuck you're gonna have a hard time walking back from this yeah this kid is absolutely

the boss of this household yeah no I'm I'm having to do a bit of that because my wife's way too cracked a whip

way too soft so but then the problem with that is you get into I don't know if you if you had a parent that was like I'm having to do a bit of that because my wife's way too soft. But then the problem with that is you get into it. I don't know if you had a parent that was like tougher than the other. And then as you get older, your memories are like, well, this one's always telling me what to do. And this one's the nice one. Fuck dad. Well, it's generally a bit of go to mum.

Mum's usually the soft one. That's such a funny approach to being a father. It's like, well, kids like their mums more anyway, so I can fucking do what I want. Well, a little bit. Yeah, I guess... Makes no difference. Yeah.

No, I mean, my memories are they were both roughly the same, I think. It's like, you be a cunt and you get in trouble. It's not like mum's like, yeah, no, that was all right. Do whatever you want. You're an absolute fucking piece of shit piece of shit they fuck around you find out yeah yeah yeah i think they're pretty even with all that sort of stuff it's all pretty fair enough my dad was always more of the stricter one but then when i was sick because my mom was a teacher she was trying to like tutor me at home to like make sure i didn't have to like repeat a grade when i went back to school and so all of a sudden it flipped i was like this bitch is trying to fucking make me do that's what i've got cancer

fuck this yeah yeah no i'm her her little blankets big one is um is uh being it's like whatever she's doing being naughty whatever she's doing it's like no worries can you stop doing that no okay no worries guess what me mum are walking out the door right now and you're all alone in this house. No! That's her biggest fear, being in the house by herself. Really? Yeah.

Okay. But then again, but that's like, I wonder how long you have before it, again, it like flips and it's like, yeah, that sounds fucking awesome. Yeah. I don't reckon it'll work at 16. Like I think it's a short term thing. But what's the, it'll work at 16 like i think oh yeah yeah but what's the it'll be interesting if you can if you note the exact moment yeah where something's

flipped in her brain where it's like yeah you're the one's fucking telling me i can't do shit in here so once you're gone i mean we're on it is a good one because it's like the lessons that she's learning or whatever like when she's being naughty and then like i go right you have to she'll you know occasionally she'll like smack her mom or whatever and you you've got to teach her not to do that so then i'm like no we don't hit anyone that's that we're not hitting and it's like a little bit of a joke and whatever and it's like no you you don't hit anyone now you got to say sorry you got to say sorry and then we however long it takes i make her say sorry because like you can't pull pull out shit and think you you know move on with life

and think that's okay. So I'll put her in her room or whatever and go, you're not coming out until you say sorry to your mum. And so eventually it'll happen. Right. She comes out,

she says sorry. But then whatever happens, she not only learns that, but she learns, oh, this is how you discipline people. So then I'll get up and whatever it is, I'll just get up before she's

finished with something turn the tv off before she's finished watching and she'll go daddy say sorry no we're not going anywhere till you say sorry sorry i turned off pepper pig yeah sorry about that yeah okay yeah thank you i'd love it if it takes you as long as well she's just locking you in your room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool. Just in there for hours. My laptop's in my room. I'll do some invoicing.

No worries. I'm fine with this. Just a standoff between you and a three-year-old for hours. Yes. Well, speaking of three-year-olds or people that have the mental capacity of them, thank you to everyone who supports the Little Dumb Dumb Club on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Little Dumb Dumb Club. Get on there now.

You can get two bonus episodes per week and access to the backlog of all of the bonus episodes we've done. 260-something at this point. Yeah, there's heaps. Great guests on them. A lot of fun. You know, you would have seen on the socials the kinds of people that we have on. They're always great. But perhaps most impressively, your name goes into the draw to be read out on this segment.

It goes into folklore. Yeah. Yeah, not only do we get good guests, a lot of the time you'll hear a good episode and you realize you very soon realize that we've hung around after that with those same guests and cranked out a little bit more when we're all nice and loose and we've done the one-hour warm-up and now let's get into the real stuff. Yeah, exactly.

The knock-off drinks. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yep. Behind the velvet rope. The locker room talk. Yes. And we're due to record one straight after we do this.

We are. We're riding the clock right now. We've got a guest coming in red hot after this. So let's crack into this. Let's get some known tech. It could be you this week. It could be you. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

First cap off the rank this week. Thank you too. Stuart Hall. Stuart Hall. Stuart Hall. You're one of those guys like Margaret Court where you can get named, some sort of like space can get named after you and it can be literally named your actual name already. They haven't, no, they still haven't, they haven't renamed Margaret Court, have they? No.

Margaret Court Arena. No. I kind of feel like a big part of that is just like, it's the perfect name. Yeah, but it's not. It's Court. It's so good. But it's not because it's not called Margaret Court Court or just Margaret Court. It's Margaret Court Arena.

Yeah. So it's not. Yeah. They need, I reckon if they had a, just a fucking, even someone who's not that good, but their surname was Arena at tennis they'd be like tina they could just name it the tina arena nothing wrong with that yeah that's all right that you know it'd be you know they never name it after musos it's always like sporting she's a bit of a fuckhead so what would be better if they named it after tina turner but just called it

the tina arena yeah okay so yeah so there's a place in Melbourne that's called Tina Arena that literally has nothing to do with Tina Arena. No. And she lives here. Yeah, but it's... So that would annoy her a lot. That would fuck her off a lot. Yeah.

And she's a fuckhead, I think. It's interesting that there's... Because there's those ones that are just named after those people. But then the rest of them are just like companies of, you know... Yeah. Bought the... It's like is there anyone looking to buy margaret court or anything like sorry we can't mess you know what i mean like

for all the debate of like we should change it because she took such a firm stance against the marriage equality thing like that some company if they really wanted to make a splash goes well how about this yeah we're buying it and we're not calling it the fucking i don't know the mcdonald's arena we're calling it the fuck you my record arena it was look they obviously didn't think of it too much they all they didn't know of her the views or whatever because i mean i'm sure this has been said before but like fucking having those views about same-sex marriage whilst being a female tennis player it's like talk about being robinson caruso in the fucking change rooms jesus christ it's uh very short yeah short-sighted yeah public viewing considering the company you're in yeah totally i'm assuming it was the same in her day as well back when she was playing

i don't know fuck knows it was obviously a lot more closeted and whatever back then than what it is now. But look, I hope Stuart Hall, I mean, look, maybe we can, maybe from now on, you know what? Maybe we talk about, you know, all the names that we read out on the show going into folk hall and going into that sort of thing. Maybe from now on, we call it the Hall of Fame. All the names that are in there. And we can name that hall. And it's named after Stuart. We can name that hall after Stuart.

The Stuart Hall of Fame. It's now the Stuart Hall of Fame. Little Dumb Dumb Club, Stuart Hall of Fame. Little Dumb Dumb Club, Stuart Hall of Fame. Okay. Yeah, yeah, alright.

What do you think about that? Yep, that's pretty good. That's what all these names are now being entered into from now on. That's the fucking ultimate honour for you, Stuart. Yeah.

To have fucking lots of men in you. And women. The odd woman. Yeah. The odd woman sneaking through. Very odd women, actually. Being bisexual and being like, I mean, but honestly, if I did the numbers, it's like I'm fucking 90% one way.

It's like, you know, there's not too many. There's just not too many that have caught my fancy. There's the odd one sneaking in. Yeah. They call me the podcast. 90% blokes, 10% women. That's good. The Stuart Hall of Fame.

So you yourself are in yourself. Stuart Hall is in the Stuart Hall of Fame. So he's getting a double dip. It's like when you're walking up, you're saying like the Stuart Hall of Fame. So he's getting a double dip. It's like when you're walking up, you're saying like the Stuart Hall of Fame. Yeah. Then you're in the doorway. First name on the wall on the left, Stuart Hall.

Well, it's like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The first inductee is Rock and Roll. Rock and Roll itself. As a genre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Yeah, I don't mind that. And then next to that, Elvis.

That would be very funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be very funny. The first, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, number one inductee. Give it up for rock and roll. Yeah. Rock and roll itself.

The guitar. Yeah. The guitar should be in there. The drums should be in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a case where you made the bass. Probably should. Should be.

But there's some great rock and roll bands that never had. Should the keyboards be in there? Keyboards? Oh, fuck. Maybe just they have a little wing. But they probably do. They're not essential. Look, Dolly Parton...

You can have rock and roll without them. Dolly Parton's in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah, that's true. How much... Name a rock and roll song of hers. Is Jolene rock and roll? The White Stripes cover. You probably could say it is.

Well, whack the White Stripes in the Hall of Fame then. Are they? Are they in there? No, they wouldn't. They can't be. There's a certain amount of time. Yeah. You've got to be going 25 years or something like that.

How often are they doing... I mean, Jack White will end up in there one day for sure. Sure. Are they doing them yearly? Yes. Are they under any kind of obligation? What if they're fucking no scratching their heads the new list of people that are up on 25 years being like oh these bands all suck yeah no

absolutely that's what happens every year they go right here's all the new eligible bands these are but then there's a big backlog of people that have been eligible for fucking 20 years and they haven't given it up yeah yeah there's there's some fucking you know there's some skiffle fucking bands there's a bit of um i don't know jerry marsden and you know these sort of people from back in the 60s and 50s and whatever that is still sitting there but then all of a sudden waiting patiently pops fucking i don't know boss gags and it's like all of a sudden i'm fucking competing against him and now stings up for it and it's like, oh, it's like, yeah, you go, fuck, I'm up against more people every year. All of a sudden, you know, I don't know,

Robert Palmer's up for it now as well. It's like, fucking hell. I couldn't even get in there when it was just, when I was up against Richie Valens and the Big Bopper. Yeah. What am I going to do against the police? Yeah, yeah. In the final bit of the drama,

Chris France from Talking Heads' book, is them kind of they hadn't seen each other for ages and they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and they performed there as part of it. And they hadn't played together for ages and he's like, yeah, and we got together and it was no good. What a shame. And you look up the footage and it's like it does suck.

Like Stop Making Sense is like one of my favourite live albums or recordings of anything. I fucking love it. I love that band. But yeah, it's like to have your worst recorded performance be the performance that you're giving as you're being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Like, you half expect someone to walk out and be like,

I don't know, you guys should be in here actually. I think that's a common thing. I think there's a bit, I think that's a common thing. I think there's a bit of like, people not being together and then having to sort of be together for that performance. Right, right. And then,

but I also find that funny because I think you, and we probably are now talking about it like, oh, that's the be all and end all. Whereas it's a pretty corporate idea. Like it's not fucking, God didn't come down and go, this is the definitive list.

Sure. Some company is just like someone, like some bloke just owns that yeah and also by the time like they're being a 25 year window by the time you're being given the tap it's like what do you care anymore yeah it's not like you put out your first album and you win grammys and you're like wow this is all exciting this is so exciting like it's all happening and it's all fresh yeah it's like you're a fucking old man you've had your career but it is performers and they're very ego driven so it's definitely like all that sort of stuff happening and now there's a big debate because it's again i don't know rock solid whether it's 25 years it's roughly that but now you're getting into like the right hip-hop people like bands and stuff and performers are, they're being inducted.

Genres get very blurry. Is that rock and roll? Is iced tea rock and roll? We should start the Comedy Hall of Fame. Oh, I would love that. I'd love that. But you've got to shrink it down because it's like 25 years eligibility for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That's a fucking tough ask instead of comedy.

Man, no, I'd love that because that would be the same sort of thing as this where it's like just some bloke owns the fucking rock and roll hall of fame so then we just own the comedy hall of fame we just trademark it yeah yeah and all of a sudden people start seeing that as the definitive list where it's like no we're just not putting in people we don't like and we're just putting like like everything in comedy just putting our mates in there and it's got to be 10 years it's not 25 is like is is too is too big of a gap for stand-up and you're saying that literally you're saying that literally because you know that you don't know that many people that have been doing comedy for 25 years and if they have who gives a fuck about them like why are we doing it for them but we know a lot of people that have been doing comedy for 10 years. Well, who is there that's been doing it for 25 years?

Like, I mean, fuck, I guess Husey would have, nearly. He would be, he'd be touch and go. But if you're saying, yeah, if you're saying even Husey is like not quite guaranteed to have been, you know what I mean? No, but you know proper old school. There's Elliot Goblin. Oh, yeah. Okay. And then I guess it's like ticking over every year so we'd be getting but yeah yeah

you can't but you know but you're right to say if we do 25 if we're starting it now it'd be less fun for us yes yeah absolutely selfishly it's like well who gives a fuck if we don't knock around with any of these 25 year old veterans and stuff like that let's just put people we know in there and let's do it let Okay, let's do it. Let's make it 15 and then it's like, we just start with Hughesy. Just to say like, you're the Elvis of Melbourne comedy. Let's get the domain. Comedy Hall of Fame.

Australian Comedy Hall of Fame. Comedy Hall of Fame dot com. Yes. Let's get the domain this week and then just put up a bunch of people Who are eligible And then people can vote Why don't we do that Let's do that

Because I think that's what happens Is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame public voted? Yes I like the idea that it's just you and me Having to have like Go into a room together and thrash it out I think it might be like this anyway It might be like

It's publicly voted But there's also a judging vote like element to it that that lovely thing where there's a panel that decides the short list and then there's and then that's public voted i reckon it's a bit dodgy where it's that thing of like yeah it's a voting pay is a big part of it right it's like yeah well how much of a part of it is it because at the end of the day, some old cunts are going in and going, nah, actually fucking B-52s are in because I like Rock Lobster. Yeah, yeah, sure. End of story.

Sure. Well, how many people voted for him? Well, it was a part of it. Yeah. You know, actually, okay, you know what I like? Here's what we do. We set this up. Right.

We make it all look official. Yeah. We don't, apart from this, we don't publicly say that it's us. Yes. This is that it's us. This can still be anonymous. Just people that listen to this know that. Yes. So we put that out and we see how long it takes for someone to crack the shit.

Yes. Who is the first person to get in touch with admin at comedyhalloffame.com and be like, um, you've left, because we just, so we put the list out of like, here's who's in contention and we just deliberately leave a handful of people off and we wait for someone to come in and fucking crack it. We put a weird list where it's like, you know, Fusey, Pete Hellyer, Corinne Grant, Rove McManus, Will Anderson, Nick Capper, and you just wait for people to go, why isn't Roy Reign in there?

Why isn't fucking Chips Rafferty in here? You don't even know what you're talking about. Yeah. No, I mean, I want the comedian themselves to like... So we just... We leave a few juicy ones. Like, it would be funny to just leave Hughsy off and see if this website is back.

You don't have to leave anyone off. There are deluded fucking 25, 30-year-old veterans that are definitely going to hit us up and go, I should be in this. You don't have to deliberately do anything. Maybe you off-air could name, I reckon I could name five straight away. Yeah, yeah, pretty easily.

Yeah, yeah. That's fucking, okay, that's good. Well, thanks, Stuart Hall. Thanks for, my God, thanks for not only inspiring a new name for the actual, this part of the show, the Stuart Hall of Fame, but also a new business venture for us here at the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Yeah, it very quickly went from, oh, this is going to be a really cool thing, Stuart Hall of Fame, and it's like, oh, no, let's get another Hall of Fame going. Nah Dum Dum Club. Yeah, it very quickly went from, oh, this is going to be a really cool thing, Stuart Hall of Fame,

and it's like, oh, no, let's get another Hall of Fame going. Nah, fuck this. Yeah. Look, we will still use this one, but this is our one. The Australian Comedy Hall of Fame belongs to everyone. Yeah, exactly.

I'm going to need to plug. You're going to need to... Yeah, give us a PowerPoint, Tommy, while we're doing this. Yeah. Have you got one? Fill time while I go plug you in. All right.

I'm filling time. All right. I'm filling time. All right. We're plugging the untitled... What the fuck is this thing called again? Yeah. The unplanned title alternator. It's running out of juice. All right.

Second up this week in the Stuart Hall of Fame, the Little Dumb Dumb Club Stuart Hall of Fame. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Fiona Trengove James. Jesus Christ. Yeah. That name I was getting her money's worth. I was sitting back down

and I had to put an earbud in to listen to the recording and pick up the mic and instead I went and tried to put the mic into my ear. Well you had plenty of time because it was quite a long name

that I had to read out. Yep. Yep. It felt like it felt like it felt like you driving down the highway with your mate's mum. Yeah. It felt like 45 minutes as I was reading out that name. Fiona Trengove James.

It already doesn't seem as long. I think it's just I'm a bit older now hearing it the second time. It's like going back to your primary school. Yep. I'm older now. You know the thing where you drive someone or you ride somewhere for the first time and you don't know where you're going and by the time you get there you go oh that was quite a long time because for some reason it takes longer when you don't know where you're going where you're looking around and yeah then you go back as soon as you know how to get from a to b it's like oh

that's five minutes or just have you ever had this where it's like somewhere where you go pretty regularly so ben who i do the filthy casuals podcast with he moved house and driving from here i had to first time going there to record put the get the google maps on directing me and it's like a pretty it's like a pretty complicated route from here to get there right to where he lives and i was just like in my head going you know what's going to be beautiful is that one day I'll just be able to do this drive. Yeah. Like off the top of my head.

Without needing to think about it. Yeah. And the other day at dawn on me, I was like, yeah, I've got to that point. Okay. I don't need the maps anymore.

Yeah. Can just intuit it. This route that I couldn't possibly ever have imagined, knowing how the fuck to get to this house. Yeah. It just happened one day.

Right. It's beautiful. Have you ever accidentally gone back to your old house in East Melbourne? No, I think I probably did maybe like once, but early on, just after I'd moved. I was coming back from somewhere and just like instinct kicked in. You know? Like I just was like

turning down that way. Oh, what am I doing? Who do you reckon Fiona Trengove James would vote for in the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame? Who are the options?

Who should we put on this first list? Where's this name from do you think? Trengove. James. What part of the world? I don't know.

Surely this is a married name. Yeah. Trengove. What's that? You know what I think? I think it's... I think there was like a footballer like an AFL footballer from Adelaide

so every time I see Tren Gove I just think that's an Adelaide name that's an Adelaide name that came from Adelaide yeah a South Australian name

yeah I was wondering if this was like a I don't know like a Swedish name or something like that no no it seems too English to me okay

especially coming from Adelaide that just gives a bonus English point because I was going to say if it was Swedish or something, she'd probably be voting to get fucking Ismo into the Australian Commonwealth. Ismo, Jesus Christ. I don't know why Ismo just popped into my head. That's someone not known by nearly anyone.

But like a lot of stuff on the podcast, you know, it's like the three people that do get it, they are fucking lit up right now. That's a good idea. So who is the one, who's a notable person to leave out? So if we go, say we nominate six people. But we're saying, what's the time limit that we're saying they have to have been going for at least this amount of time? Do we say 15? No, let's be annoying and say 10

because then people are going to then be annoyed and go, how dare you be in a Hall of Fame after only 10 years? Yeah, that's good. And it also does mean that we can, so it's like at least 10. So we could go back and put in, we can put in people who've been doing it

for like 25 years. Yeah. But we can also put in- Yes. Our mates. Our mates, yeah. Yeah. So then then it's like someone's going to be annoyed by so then it's yeah it's more annoying if you're a legend and you get let off left off the list yes absolutely that's what i mean let's so let's put you know say it's will say it's hughesie say it's judith lucy yep i really do think though it's i mean leaving hughesie off would be funny because then it's like we know he's going to get annoyed about it at some stage and you just

get the clock ticking and go how long do we i feel like that's almost fish in a barrel yeah true and i like hughesie too much yeah yeah as well but and i mean it also we want people to think this is legitimate and by i mean that just looks bad on us if we don't have him on the list. Yeah. And also, it's a little bit of like, he's been on the show heaps and he's great on it. And it's just going to make him not want to do it, maybe? I don't know. Okay.

I think you're dead right. It would definitely get the reaction. But I also think it's almost too much of a given. Of course he's going to do that. But I'm interested in who else. Yeah, yeah. We want there to be a bit of surprise for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so... So, okay. Well, if we say, what, we put ten people on there to start with? Yeah. And we go five, like, more old school... Not old school, but, like, you know, five, like, legends. Yes. And then five just, then five newer people.

Yes. So it's like what? So who's the first inductee into the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame? Because also then we have to, at a certain point, we have to get the physical location where we've got a tour that you can do. We don't have to. You can fudge it a little bit. No, because you can go and tour the Rock and roll hall of fame can't you so it's like that's the for me that's

the pie in the sky like you know can you oh you know what you know it'd be good put in like a fake double act from the 50s or something and just make something up oh that's good the wobbsy brothers or whatever yeah yeah yeah that'd be good. Whack that in. Just find two people. Just Google image two performers with grainy footage or whatever. Just say that that's an old school double act. And then also you have a fake new person. No, I have a real new person. Okay. So that people can get mad at them.

Oh, okay. Yeah, good. Okay. So we got Will, Husey, Judith. Denise. Denise, yep. Rod, good. Okay. So we've got Will, Husey, Judith. Denise. Denise, yep. Rod Quantock. Sure, yep.

Yep. I mean, he's been around such a long time. Again, that gives it some legitimacy. Yeah, yeah. So those people, and people can look at them and go, yes, of course. So who's the annoying, maybe put a fake double act or something in there. Who's a modern and someone that people are going to get annoyed by? I think that's the key.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Where it's like, you know, like Nick Capper's maybe a bridge too far. I don't know. Maybe he's not. Okay, what about this? Jordan Paris. No, you can't do that. That's a joke.

You can't do it. You can't do that. You can't do it. Who else? Is there, you know what, what about this? Is there some sort of like, not even necessarily stand up. Is there like someone on TV, like, you know, like the little fat kid from Hey Dad, that sort of thing. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. Aussie Ostrich. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Can you... That's good. Dickie Nee.

Put Dickie Nee as one of the nominees. Yeah, just actual Dickie Nee. Yes. Not John Blackman. I nominate John Blackman. It's like, John Blackman's not on the list. No, who's that? I've never seen him do stand-up.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yep, yep. Let's put Dickie Nee in there dickie dickie knees in the mix um because then i like the idea of like hughesie competing against dickie knee yeah right along with both campaigning yeah yeah who's someone we know someone in our world i want to put someone in our world in this mix who who should it be i mean cap is almost like maybe he is the one cap is a good one i mean you know it's it's like also it's an easily it's sort of also because we do want it to we are

taking the piss yeah but we also do want it to look to anyone who hasn't heard this yeah we do want it to have an air of legitimacy yeah and so the good thing the the thing about kappa is that anyone kind of who likes observing him from the outside he just recently you know went through chemo again had the cancer come back and just saying like the absolute like outpouring of like love and support and all those gigs people put it you know what i mean it's like it's you like to anyone who doesn't know him that well you you would have seen that and gone, oh, yeah, people fucking love this guy. So that's probably fresh in your mind. So him turning up on the list,

I don't reckon that's really setting off like major alarm bells. All right, he's in. But there still would be a thing of like, he seems pretty fucking, you know what I mean? Yes, absolutely. It's going to annoy people. If you're like a real veteran. All right, that's him.

He's in. He's in the nominees. All right. Great. Great. Great. Also great knowing that, you know, we're doing this like being like, yeah, this is a big like, you know, we want this to sort of be anonymous to the public. But knowing like one of the people we've named as a nomination does listen to this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But we'll completely be into this. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. All right. This is great. This is great. I'm getting excited into this. Yeah, totally. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, all right. All right, this is great. This is great. I'm getting excited by this. This is good.

He'll probably message us offering to chip in for hosting the domain. Oh, I fully expect several tweets to go out saying, vote for this. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. But not for himself. Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right, right. For Dickie Nee. Yeah, yeah. Vote for Dickie Nee.

Yes. I mean, that's who I'm throwing my weight behind on my social media. I'll be like, guys, have you... Fuck, I don't know if anyone's seen this website, but this is fucking cool. It's like, finally, comedy's getting the respect that it deserves in this country. Yes. You can get an ARIA, but it's literally just like, have you put a comedy album out, and you're up against like

some bullshit novelty thing fuck that's you know you know what's tough is I know that like we're recording this this comes out on the Wednesday we're recording this on the Tuesday

yep after this I've got to go home and fucking get all these wheels in motion make this website yeah god alright we've got to

we've got to move on we've got to do we've got like 15 minutes until our guest for um yes uh thanks Fiona Trengove James for inspiring us thank you very much uh to Patreon subscriber move on we got to do we got like 15 minutes until our guest for um yes uh thanks fiona trend gove james for inspirings thank you very much uh to patreon subscriber to us to um and

welcome to the stewart hall of fame uh tom funston tom funston f-u-n-s-t-t-o-n fuck yeah fun's ton there's a ton of fun there's a ton of fun. There's a ton of fun. The Funny Ton. Yeah, the Funny Ton. The Funny Tom. Yep. Tom Funston. Yep. I want to look at this guy. I want to look what Tom Funston looks like.

That's a fucking beautiful name. It is. It's fun. I almost should have used that as my stage name. Maybe. Tommy Fun. Yeah, Tommy Fun. Fun Tommy.

Fun Tommy. A lot of people think Tommy Little is a stage name. Yeah, I can see why. It's too good to stage name. Yeah, I can see why. It's too good to be true. Yeah, it's not though. That would be funny to just assume that nearly every comedian has a stage name. Like just meeting Dave Hughes and being like, come on, mate, let me in. What's your real name?

No one could have that name. There's no way. It's too unbelievable. It's too funny. It's too perfect. Because then you get to be called. Because whenever I think of Dave Hughes, I think of comedy. Come on, mate.

Let me in. It's just, it's fucking Tim or something, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. This, all right, I've looked up Tom Funston. Does he look? Very much looks like a podcast listener of ours. Oh, yeah.

That's a big old beard. Yep. Fucking hell. Big old podcasting listening beard. Those lips have seen a few craft beers in their time, I reckon. Yeah. A few tasting paddles. Got a bit of a, like, I wouldn't say it's a Hawaiian shirt, but it's not. Hawaiian adjacent. Yes, exactly. It's parallel. And look at these, look at these, look at these fucking, what do you call it? Not profile picture, but the one above. Oh, the cover image. What the fuck

is this? Is that him dressed? covering just walking around on a bike is this is this just at school no it looks like a bit of i was gonna say harry potter cosplay i was gonna say they dressed up as harry potter or are they just at school in uniform well there are kids in the background and he's him and someone else is just dressed up as the same little kids but he's got a fucking craft beer beard. Oh, okay. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what the story is.

Maybe this is like a... A bit too much fun happening in Tom Funston, for my liking. Yeah. Maybe this is like a... Like a... What do you call it? Like a Bucks party, you know, theme.

Oh, it's all dressed up like we're little kids. Yeah, yeah. It's got full Angus Young. Yeah. What do these Bucks do? Who's Tom Funston voting for in the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame, do you think? Oh, fuck. If you put his weight behind the Wobbsy Brothers from the 50s, or do you think he'll...

I reckon he's voting for Andy Muirhead. Oh, really? Tasmanian comedian Andy Muirhead. Yeah, he's a real legacy comedian. Yeah, he's... Do you think he's voting for him just because you've seen the picture of this guy in a schoolyard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that why? Yeah.

Okay, right. Okay. I mean, that would be a really good one to chuck in the mix. Just set tongues wagging. We can't do Dickie Nea and that, because then it's too obvious that we're taking the piss. Yeah, maybe. Unless you go state by state, like every state's got to have a nominee. Oh, yeah, okay.

That would be fine. Look, we'll get to the bottom of this. That's too hard. That's too fucking hard to... Yeah, that is too hard. Like Melbourne and Sydney, that's a fucking... It's almost too hard to narrow it down and then... Fuck, so many people are going to get annoyed by this.

It's going to be so good. Like comedy fans, not at all. But comedians and people in the comedy industry are going going to get annoyed by this. It's going to be so good. Like comedy fans, not at all. But comedians and people in the comedy industry are going to get so annoyed by this. So when you... Guys, tweet it out, put it on Insta, whatever the fuck it is. Don't attach our name to it. Let's keep the mystery. It's our little private joke.

God, just... I know that it's deeply embedded in your DNA to be a little dobber, but just fucking push down every impulse you have to not dob on us and attach us to any of this. Yeah, because you know that this is more fun the more it goes on and annoys people. People know it's just us to start with. It actually doesn't – it's not even that annoying to anyone else.

Because also it's – the way I'm viewing it is like the Comedy Hall of Fame is bigger than you and I. Yes. So it's like we're barely... We're just conduits. Yes. God is just speaking through us right now. We're servants to it. It's basically got nothing to do with us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've just gone to the top of the mountain and got the two big tablets of the Comedy Hall of Fame and brought them down again. Yeah. There's five nominees on each tablet. We've come down and... Comedy Moses or whoever the fuck did it. Oh, my God.

Was it Moses that did that? Did he get the tablets? Wasn't it Jesus? No. I don't know. I can't remember because that's a big double up. If he's the same cunt that got the tablets and the fucking boat, that's a lot.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not religious. I don't care yeah i'm just interested for the story you're just you're are you thinking of this as a um you're thinking you're going to say this sort of stuff in your um acceptance speech when you get inducted yeah yeah sure we put ourselves on there yeah if we had to throw people off the scent if we had a physical thing We could walk out With a tablet each

And go hey Don't blame us We didn't make up the nominees We found these At the top of Mount Kosciuszko Oh Christ It was Moses Moses smashed the tablets

Alright we gotta We gotta go to the next name Thanks Tom Funston Thanks Tom Funston We've had a lot of fun with you just now. We did. We had a ton of fun with you. And welcome to the Stuart Hall of Fame.

Next up, into the Stuart Hall of Fame, the Little Dumb Dumb Club Stuart Hall of Fame. Thank you very much to Hayley Walker. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And that's... Texas Ranger. Yes.

She's one of these people that's... Well, I guess this dates how long she's been into it. I can see she's been into it for a few years now. But she's a recent-ish adoptee into one of these people that go to a lot of our live things and stuff like that. I mean, we didn't mention the Perth thing coming up, but again, when you're listening to this, you've only got a week to go until we go to Perth. Yep.

July 16, I believe, isn't it? A couple of tickets left. She mightn't be coming to that, but some of these people travel around and stuff like this, but she's definitely a Melbourne goer. She came to the infamous Heathcote gig on the bus. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, we didn't talk about this, but we got... Let's talk about it on a app.

Okay, all right. Let's save it. Okay, all right. But, yeah, she came to Heathcote, and she comes to a lot of comedy and stuff like that. Good for her, Hayley Walker. Welcome addition into the little Dum Dum Club Stuart Hall of Fame.

And you're very much welcome to vote for the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame inductees. Is that what you're going with? AustralianComedyHallofFame.com.au. You have to. You've got to get the AU. Above all, it's cheaper. Yeah, true.

I just wonder if Australian needs to be in there. In the domain, at least. ComedyHallofFame.com.au. Yeah, no, I just wonder if Australian needs to be in there. In the domain, at least. Comedyhalloffame.com.au Yeah, no, but you need it. I think you need it. Okay. Yeah, you do need it. Because otherwise, it just gets a little bit confusing.

And I like it. You know who I think Hayley Walker's voting for? Who? Reg Mombasa. Oh, yeah, that's good. Should we... He should be in there. The Mambo Farting Dog.

Great t-shirts. Very funny. I saw him on an episode of Spics and Specs the other night. Oh, really? Yeah. Great legacy. And not only is his artwork kind of like cool and funny and hip and become a funny cultural touch point,

he has also fathered a comedy performer who's making great waves overseas. Yes. Claudia O'Doherty. Yes. So, you know, I think he deserves a spot. I think he deserves a spot in there. Also, he was in Mental Is Anything, which came out with funny-ish songs. Like, if you leave me, can I come too?

That's funny. All right, that sealed it. Reg Mombasa. He's a nominee. Reg Mombasa's a nominee. All right, he's a nominee. For the Comedy Hall of Fame. In the first lot.

In the first lot. Yeah. What was he like on Spix? He was all right. Okay. I watched it for about five minutes. What do you think his response would be to

showing up on this random website I think he'd be pretty nonplussed yeah awesome you know what that's what we want we want the people

who are listed to not give a fuck and we want the people who aren't on there to really fire up exactly we're wanting more reaction from the people not listed

than the people listed yeah so yeah so Reg Reg can go in there because he wouldn't care either way. Because also, when you have these lists, they always like having it a bit more diverse in terms of not just all just straight stand-ups. Someone's going to want Magda in there. Magda Zabanski. And then Dickie Knee's a nice one because he's a fucking puppet.

Plucker's going to be fucking spewing. Puppets are funny. Yeah. Plucka will be spewing. Do we nominate one of the dicks from Puppetry of the Penis? Oh, that's not bad. One of the penises. Yeah.

Just to get the other penis upset. Oh, okay. I've got another nominee for you. Oh, no. Lady Snake. You're turning this into a joke. Sorry. There's plenty of years to come

There's plenty of time Save that for the 50th year Where we've just run out of juice And I've got news I've got some good news for us AustralianComedyHallOfFame.com.au is available It's such a clunky URL Yeah

It's so fucking long Well do we go OzComedyHallOfFame O-Z I think that's a good meeting in the middle Oh no Because I think that's like It meeting in the middle. Oh, no. Because I think that's like... It's so bad.

It's more compact and also more shit at the same time. Yeah. OZ. Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. Like, putting Oz in there and still putting the AU on the end is so funny. Oh, you know what? Do we do it? Look, this is another idea, and I'm happy to be shouted down.

Do we pretend it's already been going for a few years, and we've already got people in there? Oh. So then we get to skip. So we do a backlog of. We get to skip whether we vote for Husey or Will and stuff like that. We already put a few of them in there. This is totally, I mean, this was happening anyway.

This is now bleeding its way over into just a regular ep. Right. I think we could discuss this further in the next main episode that we do. Because there's plenty here. Yes. We've ripped meat off the bone and there's fucking heaps left still. And our guest is going to be here any minute. Yes.

All right. Let's table this for now. Okay. Let's start the cogs turning behind the scenes. Yep. And then next week we'll go further in. All right. Well, thanks, Hayley Walker.

I'll have to get some co-conspirators in with us, maybe. Thanks, Hayley Walker. Thank you very much. Let's just do one more. We are four minutes off having someone walking in the door, and someone's ringing me. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber... Oh, that's interesting. Wow, this has moved quickly.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber OzComedyHallOfFame.com.au Wow, that's cool. Wait, OzComedyHallOfFame.com.au comedy? Sure, yes. The URL's the first name. Yes, yes, that's it. Dot au, end dash, comedy is the surname of that website. Don't forget to vote.

Get your copies of Comedy Week magazine and snip out the little form in there. Just glide past all the time slots of what time comedy is on this week and just get straight to the coupon. Chuck in the mailbox. I hope Reg Mombasa does a Tom Gleeson and just campaigns really hard for it

to fuck everyone else off. Yeah, yeah. No, but campaigns really hard for it, ironically, for some reason. Yeah. I don't know how that works. Reg, like, doing a, do it, bringing back the farting dog. Right. But instead of the musical note, it just says, vote for Reg.

Right. Coming out of the dog's ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Awesome. That's good. All right, guys. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.

See you, man. See you, man.