The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 625 - Luke Heggie & Lehmo

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

This week we’re joined by LUKE HEGGIE and LEHMO! We discuss whether Tommy’s TV is too large for his house before focusing on Heggie’s recent corporate with a sporting legend, and his new sponsorship deals! We also get a complete history of Heggie’s fascination with egging, Lehmo’s son has had McDonalds for the first time, and Karl’s entered into a tense negotiation while ordering a pizza.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with guests Luke Heggie and Lamo. And we have got a big live show coming up, not long to go now, October the 22nd. It's a Saturday night at the Comics Lounge. That's right, it's on sale. Go to our website, littledumdumclub.com and you will find that it is our 12th birthday show. Not only that, it's a big combo of the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame Awards presentation. Yep, you're getting two shows for the price of one, essentially. This is like the 500th and 600th combined.

Yes. Not only is it a birthday, but it's a prestigious once-in-a-generation event. You get to say, for the rest of time, you get to say that you were there for the first ever induction ceremony of the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. You get to rub shoulders with some very confused people who have been hitting me up about tickets going, Is this? What? Okay.

Sure. Any time in the future that you're driving through Albury-Wodonga, you get to point at the little sign that they'll have up and be like, Hey, I was at the induction ceremony for that. So that's all happening October 22nd. Get your tickets now. It's going to be a heap of fun. A lot of great guests.

You know that our live shows are heaps of fun. Melbourne, get onto it. Interstate. You hardy fools that sometimes fly down for them, get down there as well. Come down. It's going to be a fun party. Yeah.

All right. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this great new episode with guests Luke, Heggie and Limo. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week.

Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow, and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. Joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Luke Heggy and Lebo. Oh, yes. The two L's of comedy together.

The L word. Oh, you just, that was the secret name of our upcoming tour. Yeah, the L word. Yeah, I love that. You've picked it. That's a long bow. Can we talk first of all, now Luke Heggy is sat next to a giant television here.

I think of, and we're in Tommy Daslow's house. Yep, thank you. Television screen size as a ratio to room size, that's one of the bigger TVs I've ever seen. It's absurd, isn't it? It's literally, and I'm not even exaggerating, it's a third of the bigger it's a big one it's absurd isn't it it's literally and I'm not even exaggerating it's a third

of the room it's a load it's a load bearing screen yeah if you take that out the roof falls down it's also right in front of the window

that's what a fuck off to nature well I mean there's not that much to look at out there but here I can put on the fucking you know

I can put on oh but you're in Melbourne of all places. Four seasons in one day. There's got to be one other season to catch your fancy. Yeah, it is. This was a... If we'd bought this TV after moving in, there definitely would be a different size TV in here.

Right. You know what I mean? This is like... Because also this room that we're in, it's not deep enough to sit too far back without sort of going, fucking hell, this is really big. It's a narrow living room. Yeah. It's not, yeah.

I do feel like I've done pretty irreversible damage to my eyes with the distance that I'm sitting in. Do you know what this room looks like? Because the screen is so big and you're so close to it. This kind of looks like a business class little cubicle on a plane. Okay. Because that's what it, you're so close to a decent screen. I take it there's no way you could just sell this and get a smaller one?

Absolutely none at all. That's been looked into? No, it's... You can't do that these days. Where do you... How do you sell television? I don't know. If you know a website that I could go to,

it's 2022, mate. Come on. Are there any options? Unless you want it. You could take it back to Sydney with you, maybe. No, I can think of nothing worse than a big television. Man, I want it bigger. The dream is girlfriend at work.

I get rid of this one. I get in one that's just like five inches bigger. Is that the dream? I get a girlfriend that's five inches bigger. I think her dream is to get a boyfriend five inches bigger, to be honest. Probably more than that, I think. I don't know. Having heard dreamers to get a boyfriend five inches bigger, to be honest. Probably more than that, I think, would be. No, I love it.

You're not a big TV guy? I don't really watch it. No. I certainly wouldn't own a big one. It's just such a fucking Bevan thing to do. It really is. Like, you really should have three walls of couch to match that. If there was room in here, there would be leather recliners. Don't you worry about that.

Yeah. A couple of poofs for your feet. I'm picturing Luke. Have you just reversed this whole reverse engineered this whole conversation? You just want to say that?

You just want to say that? Alright. Now the ulterior motive comes out. What about you, Limo? You'd be a big TV guy. A hundred percent. Yes.

No, I'd probably get a television the same size as yours, but it's in a much bigger room. Yeah. There he is. And it's on the wall. Yeah. Yeah, but that's half this room.

Yeah. But I like a big telly. What have you – I'm picturing you. Now I'm picturing you, Blue Gecki, with like some sort of a Rank Arena fatback or something. What have you got? He's just got a Dick Tracy wristwatch that he watches fucking Golden Girls on. A beautiful little Texas Instruments screen that I'm watching my streaming on.

We had a fatback until very recently, but we got it about a year ago, a year and a half ago. We got it for Falcon. Oh, yeah. From the shop. It's the smallest TV I could find in the shop. Right. So you deliberately...

$100? $200? $200. $200. Did you deliberately look for a small TV or was it a budget thing? Where you went, I'm going to spend as little as I can on a television. Oh no, just deliberately look for the smallest one.

We haven't got a big... They don't know any different. They don't know any different. Aren't they starting to go to friends' houses and see an absolute whopper in there? These kids aren't even allowed to speak English. He's taught them French just to get them fucking bullied in this country. They need to get the full experience of how fat Gerard Depardieu really is.

And the only way to do that is on a mammoth 75-incher. Yeah, they think he's fucking 65 kilos. They think he's Stuart Little. I could picture you as one of those uni students that was like, I don't even own a TV. Was that you back in the day? Proudly. Well, I wasn't proud, but I didn't.

Keeping it on the DL. Yeah, I suppose. Not as a point of difference. Poor used to be something we were all ashamed of. Now everyone's fucking claiming it. Yeah. It's cool somehow. You fucking what?

Everyone can afford Twitter. You pick up comedians. They go, I'll pick you up from down the road, will you? No, I'll pick up your fucking house. You see their parents live in a mansion, you go, I'll get it. Now it's cool to be poor if I fucking want some of that. Put myself out of the gutter for this. Fuck off.

Well, you're doing all right now. You're cashing in. You're making the big bucks. You're down here doing some corporates. Yes. Yeah. Corporate king. The new corporate king.

I did one yesterday, footy related, because you cunts fucking love footy. Yes. And home of the arts, but also, you know, conversely, people drop their foot parts and go and fucking footy. We can do it all. Yeah. I don't know about that. Mime, sketch.

Well, I did a bit of mime during this footy gig. It went great. Yeah. Big gig great Big gig Big gig And guess who was on after me Oh Another comedian or a sports person I'd like to think they straddled both of those worlds Oh hell yeah

Okay Comedian, sports person or sports person, comedian The latter Sports person who finds himself funny Comedian, Billy Brownless Oh I don't know who that is Dipper, Robert Dipper, Dipper Dominico No but you're in the right era The latter. Sportsperson who finds himself funny. Comedian. Billy Brownless. Oh. I don't know who that is. Dipper.

Robert Dippier-Domenico. No, but you're in the right era. Johnny Knoxville. Dermot Brunton. No. Wayne... Oh, Warwick Capper. Warwick Capper.

Yes. The great man. The wizard. It was fucking unbelievable. Can I... Okay, did he say this to you? Ex-Sydney Swans full forward in the AFL. Yeah. And he was... And also then went from the Sydney Swans to the Brisbane Bears.

Yes. And he was actually a very good footballer, Warwick. He was. He had 100 goals in a season. Outstanding seasons. And was really the glamour boy of the AFL for a period. He still knows his stats, if that's what you're thinking. Oh, yeah, I know.

He'll describe his mark of the year over Chris Langford in excruciating detail. Also, by the way, Dustin Hoffman and Ray Mann, you all the fucking Qantas flights as well. So it's not like a big compliment to him. It's just an existing fucking condition. Yeah. Well, apparently he caught the ball once, which is a fucking whole lot of his life.

Such a heggy description of a marketer. I find this with most sports. I do like some sports, but there's American ones, like this guy pitched a guy, fucking struck three guys out once, and he's a Hall of Famer. What the fuck?

If you only took three wickets ever once as a bowler, you wouldn't have a fucking job. I thought they did that all the time. You hate people who are in the arts. You hate people who are into sport. What are the correct hobbies to have, Luke? You tell us. Hey, don't get him standing on his big television fucking table.

Just sitting there seething for himself. That's a good hobby. Did Warwick Kappa at any point say this to you, which is his go-to, which I reckon over the years he would have said this to me at least three, maybe four times. So if it's me, he'll go, Lame, Lame, here you are, Lame, Lame, love you like a brother,

love you like a brother, but I'm from Tasmania, I'm from Tasmania. That's good. That's his go-to. Did he wheel that out yesterday? No, he did not, but he did reenact. That's a lot for a first meeting. He did reenact his mark. Oh, yes!

And he got a chair on stage. Yes! He got someone up out of the crowd. So good. One of the blokes at the front table, this poor bloke had to get up, who was Indian, Australian, and he kept alluding to how much he loves curry. Great. Capper.

Great. He just kept saying, you know, buddy, I love curry myself. Anyway, get up here, curry. Love curry myself. I called him curry. Yeah. And he's made this guy stand, and he's put his leg over his shoulder. I was up there for six minutes. Get up here, Curry. Love Curry myself. I called him Curry. Yeah. And he's made this guy stand and he's put his leg over his shoulder.

I was up there for six minutes. Air traffic control called me. And I pull out. Air traffic control. He loves that. Yes. That's good. And then he's sort of reeling off his stats

and how he's written off cars that cost more than most people make in a fucking lifetime. And he's, you know, he had all this, like he talked about his charity work, naturally. Oh, yeah. He's quite a philanthropist from what I could gather

from his stats raised 25 million we did and then I went out for a rub and tug later like that sort of same breath blow jobs charity great

it was mad and no need for that at the end of it absolutely mad did he mention his porno yeah for sure

at a corporate when you've seen his act obviously I've only did you reenact that as well i'll get on your back again air traffic control etc i was in there for five minutes man it was fucking unbelievable and then like it was just getting nothing like it just you got laughs for the first few minutes, and then it just went downtown. I was fucking losing it.

I was the only one really laughing properly, giving it what it deserved. And then they had – he went off. I don't know if he's on something or if he's just cooked. I don't know. I think he's mad. I think he's a bit – he's a high-energy bit nuts. Yeah. I think he's a bit He's a high energy bit nuts

Yeah Did he mention his Short lived business venture Here in Melbourne Which was a coffee cart No Yeah but okay go on It's not quite right but go on

Okay coffee cart You can correct me in a sec Coffee cart called Cappuccino Yes No Now I don't think that ever happened in Melbourne But this was a thing he got in the press And talked about It was going to be a chain of stores in the Gold Coast Called Cappuccino. Yes. No. Now, I don't think that ever happened in Melbourne, but this was a thing he got in the press and talked about.

It was going to be a chain of stores in the Gold Coast called Cappuccinos. But what I love is that it was clearly reverse engineered. It was just like, that's a funny name. And he was just going, I'm going to open this run of coffee shops. I was like, no, you weren't. You just thought of the name. Nothing else happened. Going straight to it'll be a chain.

Not even like I'm going to do one and see how that goes. Straight into franchise opportunities before we even have to start. I thought of the name and that's it. That's all that

happened. He might have mentioned it. I was trying really hard not to look like I was laughing as hard as I was because I'd already

been on so people kind of knew that I was sitting at the table eating. I was just about under. Fuck, I can't let people see how. I thought, fuck, I was just about under. Fuck, I can't let people see how much I'm enjoying this. Because they hated it.

They fucking hated it. It's great. That is surprising to me. At a football-themed corporate, it's like Warwick Kappa comes out. It's like, that's funny. That's lighthearted. But I think it's funny. I think these days there's a novelty aspect to Warat Kappa

that's funny for a really short period of time. Okay, sure. And then after that... It's just so outdated. You've got to actually be funny after that. Yeah. Or entertaining. Plus, they weren't like footy hooligans.

They were businessmen and shit behind a whole table, that sort of people. Yeah, okay. They were a bit... Right. You're with your work people. You can't laugh at someone who's a bit deranged. They think they're above the humour of wearing a kappa.

Whereas I was with no one. I didn't give a fuck. I was going for it. I nearly fucking lost my mind. He should start doing the rooms. Afterwards, they're doing an auction. They auctioned off a framed kappa jersey, right? Sydney Swans jersey signed by him, framed.

And I think he got like, someone bid $1,200. I was expecting a lot more. He's grabbed the mic off the dude and go, oh, this is worth fucking way more than that. Yeah, great. Just talking. So I get something to him.

It's so funny that there's another Kappa in Melbourne bombing harder than me. Yeah. Yeah, it's impressive. We should get them together. Them as a double act would be truly great. The Kappa brothers. Yeah.

Get up here, Curry. Yeah. I love how he's like, he keeps reiterating, I love Curry, but then he's also calling the guy Curry. At the same time, it's like, that's you, and I love it. That'd be a real connection point for him in his head. I'm bonding with this guy. I wonder, do people book him now because it's like a joke

that we're all in on yeah or do they book him because they genuinely think he's going to bring something these dudes were they say I've got a mystery guest now

and they're really lovely guys the guys who book me and they're like look I don't know what's going to happen here but I hope you enjoyed alright like you kind of knew something might be

right and then they're nudging each other afterwards going how the fuck because he went for 20-25, how the fuck do we... Because he went for 20, 25 minutes. It's like, how do we fucking get him off? They wanted to get him off.

Did they have to go and boot him off in the end? No, he sort of naturally finished up somehow. Ran out of traffic control? Ran out of curries. Look, are any Chinese here? Well, it's like getting him is clearly like a novelty. Like, let's see how this goes. But then you're also there having done the gig.

It's like, wait, I was booked as well. Yeah, no, definitely not. Is this whole thing a stunt? Like is this whole event? But, I mean, it would be, I assume this is like prime time for a cat, like this week of like heading into finals footy. It's just him cleaning up. Oh, yeah, he was off in a hurry to go and do another one.

Yeah, really. That's what they seem to do. Sure, you do too. He'd be doing all right this week. I've got a few on, but some comics, if you're hot right now, like I know one comic in particular who's got 19 gigs this week. Whoa. Vince Sorrenti.

Is he? Not Vince Sorrenti, no, But Vince has had years like that. Yeah. Vince had one year where I think he had 10 on the morning of the game, had 10 gigs at the MCG. Yeah. So you just go room to room around the MCG. So how many gigs in a row did you say?

How many? 16 this week? There's one particular comic I know who's got 19. Does his name start with Dave Hugh or Peter Helly? You know what? No. Get up here, Curry!

Pete and Hughsey for some reason are doing heaps this week. Dave O'Neill. Dave O'Neill's always busy. I think it's just another week for Dave O'Neill Dave O'Neill I mean Dave O'Neill is always busy I think it's just another week for Dave O'Neill

we won't rest until we get the name no I can't I can't reveal just in case half of them are cashies or something

I was going to say a comic really wouldn't want people to know that he's successful yeah yeah yeah yeah true I'm sure they're

all on invoice I'd like to reveal that yesterday mine was a cashie and everyone can suck my fucking balls. Whoa! It's very rare to get cashies these days. It's almost unheard of.

Peggy's down here on tour. You're down here doing a few gigs down here while you're doing corporate or whatever. Yeah, they're not cashies. Yeah. Oh, I didn't say they were, mate. Okay. I thought you were trying to land me in proper shit

with one of your fucking dork listeners who works for the ATO. Oh, very vehement. The Deputy Commissioner of Taxation is a massive man. In fact, a patron on this podcast. This place is starting to smell a bit like Denmark to me. Great to be here, although I've just been in the Cayman Islands. Great to be anywhere.

I did notice you were doing a gig last night, and what I loved about it, it popped up on the algorithm the other day, and it was you were doing a show, you were headlining a show, your name was the only person involved at a hotel out in the suburbs, and there was a big post, proudly sponsored, your comedy show. Luke Heggy, come and see Luke Heggy, proudly supported by a prominent Glenira real estate company

yes yeah Luke Heggie brought to you by real estate yes fucking hell you've changed man you used to be fighting

for the little guy well admittedly I didn't know that until I got there it was like a pull up thing of a probably brought to you a couple of real estate agents

was it a corporate or like a pub gig no it's a pub gig how does a real estate company bring you a bring you a new pub gig? Were they kind of sponsoring the night? I think so, yeah.

Did you get a free couple of weeks rent out of it or something? No, no. I got nothing. I did rip into real estate agents a bit more than I usually would. I fucking hate them. They brought you to this gig. You're shitting the hand that feeds. Mate, they brought you to the...

They're paying you. That's you. Yeah. I think the money runs out at the middleman phase before it got to me money to be on the poster and have the big banner yeah stage something like that to them is like this will be what this will remind people the trickle-down economics didn't work in your case you reckon yeah absolutely not i don't know i don't know because see this. I thought, you know, you're getting a bit more success these days. It's all, you know, me versus the world. All of a sudden, it feels like you're in the pocket of big real estate, big house because on top of this,

you've got your spruiking real estate all over the suburbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all over. You love it. That's all I do some days. When I think of you these days, all I can think of is three-bedroom apartments, so it's very effective.

I get my hair cut every day. Just like a real estate agent. So you love the real estate. You love all the reverse engineering of that stuff. But also you love, from what I'm aware of, a bit of gambling. The new face of gambling, Luke Heggie. Is that true?

Yeah. New Zealand tab. Really? Ad. It new face of gambling, Luke Heggie. Is that true? Yeah. New Zealand tab. Really? Ad. It came out the other day, I think. It's only on for a week. It's not sick. I went to Dunedin.

Fuck, it was cold. They shot an ad. They needed dumb Aussie. I'm like, oh, I can do that. No probs. Luke Heggie. Real estate and gambling. Real estate and gambling.

Fucking hell. Where do you draw the line? I don't have a line. Is there a line? No. Tobacco. Cigarette advertising. I'll do that.

Do that? Don't care. Okay. Anthrax. Like the powder that you send to politicians sometimes? Yeah, why not?

You can't really sell it. Whatever. No one's going to see my face on something and go, I'm going to do that. What about anti-abortion lobby? Would you be the face of that? What's it pay?

Hypothetically. Luke Higgy's new comedy show, Tip Rat, brought to you by the overturning of Roe v. Wade. That's a hell of a banner. Quit distracting from the jokes I have to say. Luke Higgy, Tip Rat, brought to you by the Australian Liberal Party. What do you reckon? I wouldn't do that. Any chance? I wouldn't do McDonald's.

I'll tell you that much. Really? That's where you draw the line. Why wouldn't you do Why are they worse than real estate and worse than the fucking gambling companies? Well, you fucking landed me in the real estate one. I definitely wouldn't do real estate. That just happened. I've got a screenshot right

here, mate. Yeah, I know. I wasn't made aware of it until I'm already fucking walking up onto the stage. What the fuck? The backdrop's got a... I couldn't see it. And then there's these fuckheads. What was the backdrop? Just a photo of a guy in a suit? Oh, no, it wasn't a backdrop. Yeah, no. That would be great. That'd be... Comedy.

That'd be rich if they put it right behind him and you couldn't see it it's like cunts location location location that's the rule four lease five bedroom comedy it was a sold out sign

yeah yeah yeah don't mind that I don't mind that at all did I ever tell this when we had at my old place the real estate agent got in touch with us

and was like oh we've we've changed the name of the company and we're doing this big rebrand would you guys mind if we put a big felice sign out the front of your house it won't be felice we're not kicking you out but we'll put that up it'll have the name of the company on it and then two days later we'll come and we'll put the big leased sticker on it right um so that then that's you know people you're on a main road people are going to drive past and be like oh wow, wow, these guys have done great work.

That house was on the up, you know, that was on the up for like two days. I don't know why they assume that everyone driving past is going to have the full timeline of the billboard having been up. Did you tell them to get fucked? We did. We were like, oh, this just feels a bit gross when there's like a housing crisis and, you know, like renting's tough, like giving people the false hope of driving past and seeing somewhere

and they go, oh, okay. And then the next day they put it up anyway. And it was like the eve of – it was probably literally – it was like this long weekend. Hang on. Where are they putting the sign? At the front of the house, like a big – At the front of your house? At the front of our house.

But they hadn't just – you hadn't just leased your house? No, it was fake. They just wanted to do a fake, like making it look like this company gets things done. So a real estate company is lying and misleading people? Yeah, man. So we said, we don't want to do this. I mean, really, Luke Heggie is behind that sort of stuff. Yeah.

It's one of my policies. They proved him last night. You're financing this. Yeah, this is you. You call fraud all the time here. Yeah. We said no. all the time here. Yeah. We said no. They did it anyway.

Yeah. And this was like on the eve of like the grand final public holiday. Right. So it's like, then it just stays up. Then they just get what they want. Yeah. And they don't check the email until they're back on Monday. And the guy's like, oh, so sorry about this mix up.

I'll buy you guys a slap. Never did. No. Just never happened. Yeah. You fucking cunts. Did you take it down? Looking at you. I'll just take it straight down. Yeah, it was tempting. Yeah. Never did. Just never happened. You fucking cunts. Did you take it down? Looking at you.

I'll just take it straight down. Yeah, it was tempting. It was pretty tempting to do. My brother bought a house and they would say, oh, we're leaving this up. It's in the contract. We're leaving that up with the sold thing for a month. I guess, no, all right.

Just took it down. You just dig it up and throw it out. Yeah. I wish we had have done it. It is as simple as that. I got a text message last night from someone at the Greens in Melbourne. Party? The Greens Liberal Party.

Greens Political Party. And they said, because there must be elections coming up. Oh, yeah, state elections coming up. Luke Heggy will never take money from the Greens, by the way. And they said, yeah, yeah. That up. Luke Heggie will never take money from the Greens, by the way. And they said... That's where I draw the line. I do not want to be associated with the Greens. I'll do gambling.

I won't do McDonald's. I'll co-opt fucking people struggling in council flats losing their fucking money on Race 3 at Dapto, but I will not have anything to do with trees being planted. Have you got a tip on Race three at Dapto but I will not have anything to do with trees being planted. Have you got a tip on race three at Dapto? And they said the election's coming up

can we put a greens is there room on your front fence to put up a greens thing? And I said no. No there's not. Because I'm grumpy with the greens at the moment.

If it were the political party that you're not grumpy with would you have done it?'s not. Because I'm grumpy with the grains at the moment. Oh, okay. If it were the political party that you're not grumpy with, would you have done it? Probably not. Yeah. I think it's a fucking mistake aligning yourself with a political party. Publicly, you mean. Publicly, yeah.

I'm just going into a booth and saying, not for me. Conscientious objector. Yeah. So wait. It does make it hard to vote if you don't like it. You go to the voting booth and go, a bit personal, thanks. Just writing across all the things, how droll. I don't really

share my politics with people I don't know. Who's asking? Every ballot I've ever filled out, I've just written, mind your own fucking business. Yeah. I've done ballot counting and you get fucking so much of that. You have to go through, my job was be there all day and then get to the end

and just put into a pile the ones that, it's just a cock drawn across all the boxes and stuff like that. And you really learn how many people are going in with the attitude of, fuck this. Also, lining up to do that. Because there is a line. Just don't go. There's a fair line.

Also, thinking, you must get a lot of fuck you, ScoMo and stuff. Tons of that kind of stuff. It's not just someone else counting. But then thinking that that's going going right up to the top. It's just like some little, you know, 21 at the time, some little cunt like me who's like, oh, well, that just goes into that parlor and that's in the bin. You know what it is?

You've done that. I get that when I work at the project one day a week and I do the inboxes on Facebook. Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Waleed. No worries. I'll pass this on. Waleed, who listens to this pod, so you kind of did yeah well yeah yeah he's been on the pod i did tell him because i was like you know how this happens he's like not

really like oh sorry yeah that's why people like you are paid to be fucking a bullet sponge so i get to yeah be protected do you get a lot of cock and balls lot tonsons of that. It's like half and half. It's like cock and balls and then just like someone riding. Anyone invested the time to do a good one? Like to spend a solid 10-20 minutes in the booth? Probably with veins and what have you. Probably what you're saying. The lining up has taken them longer than they thought.

All of a sudden they're like, I'm five seconds away from getting a sausage at the end of this. I'm not putting... I'm not fucking you know, I'm not Da Vinci-ing it. I can't believe how many people go on election day. They're fucking dead shits. Like, you just go before. I go a few weeks early.

Yeah. Yeah, people don't really know that, I think. Some people enjoy it. That, you know, the community atmosphere of getting out together. It's overrated. Happiness lining up. So I want to get to the, I want to zero in on this more.

So gambling ad, you're down for that. But you would not do McDonald's. I don't gamble. And people can fucking watch, what's that? No, I don't go to McDonald's either. But people could watch me on TV

and start gambling. That's a fucking, that's a bigger problem than I can help them with. Like I saw me on, it's a. That's a bigger problem than I can help them with. A guy saw me on... It's a Blood is Like Car pad on for one week, specifically about gambling on rugby. Yep.

And me being a fuckhead Aussie rugby fan. Yep. It's like, well, I can watch it and I'm in it and I'm not going gambling. How the fuck can you not just replicate that? Okay. So... It's not children.

It's not fucking children. How does that logic not apply to McDonald's? Spongy little mind. Yeah, exactly. What's the difference between that and a McDonald's? Oh, no, I used to work in McDonald's.

I fucking hate them. Oh, okay. That's the real reason. There's a proper vendetta there. God, I'd love to see you as like the new Hamburglar. Yeah. I wouldn't even.

What if you had the mask on? What about if you were the Hamburglar? What if you were in a Grimace suit? Yeah. If someone had found out, Cody or you cunts a Grimace suit? Someone would find out. Cody or you cunts would find out.

And then that'd be it. That'd be over. I'd take a big stance against McDonald's. Robble, robble. If the money was right. Well, yeah. Or the cashier. You'd want them to...

You're doing it with Warwick Capper. Warwick Capper's taking a handkerchief over a burger. Yeah. I love that. My son, I gave my son McDonald's for the first time. Oh, beautiful.

About two weeks ago. He's six, right? Fuck yeah. He'll remember that for the rest of his life. Well, I'll tell you what, we went in and I got

a cheeseburger and I got him a cheeseburger without the pickle, without the tomato, without the cheese, just the tomato, without the cheese, just the meat patty and the burger.

Then you just order a hamburger. You don't order a cheeseburger. Well, anyway, that's what I got him. He's gone straight onto the hamburger We sat down inside to eat it and he fucking lost his mind.

Yeah. But what's so good about that? He fucking loved it. What about the cheese? It was like the best thing he's ever eaten. Well, sugar in the bread, isn't it?

And then he goes, he finishes it, like fucking inhales it and this is kind of another one. he's ever eaten. Well, sugar in the bread, isn't it? And then he finishes it, fucking inhales it, and this is kind of another one. That's awesome. I said, sure. Anyway, now ever since he's asked, can I get back to Maccas? Every day since. Well, you've fucking done it now, haven't you?

Mate, there's something addictive in that bun. So why do you hate McDonald's then? I worked there when I was 16, 17. What happened? Have you worked there? No, I haven't. It fucking sucks. We worked there for like an hour once. Oh, well, we served ourselves some food.

What did you do? We went on a tour of Joel Creasy's parents' one that they own in Perth. They own a bunch of them over there. And he just put in the call to fucking HQ over there and went, let these two open micers do whatever the fuck they want. And they rolled the red carpet out for us. And we just, in their lunch hour, fucked around in the fucking fry bucket or whatever. And they're like. You're cooking stuff and mucking around.

They were teaching us how to like make the burgers. And then we were in the drive-thru bit at one point and a car pulled up and the guy puts his window down and goes, hey, little dum-dum club. It's like, of course you get recognized in the Macca's drive-thru. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's going to be anywhere. They didn't even walk in. They're just fucking driving through. That's when to be anywhere. They didn't even walk in. They're just fucking driving through.

That's when we recognised. Of course they did. Yeah. So, Limo, what was it about this current point in time where you were like, now's the time

to introduce him to Maccas? Hey, you know what? I had been away with him down at Phillip Island to see the Penguins, just the two of us, like boys weekend.

Yep. And I was coming home and I knew that my wife had had a night out with some friends the night before. Yep. And we were coming home and I thought, I felt like I was coming home and I knew that my wife had had a night out with some friends the night before. And we were coming home and I felt like I was coming home a bit early and I thought, I'll give my wife another.

So my intention was to delay getting home so my wife could have more time at home just chilling out without us in the house. And I thought a good way on that drive was just to go to Macca's. And they've got a little playground there so he can fuck around in that. Did he get a toy? He didn't get a toy, no. I can't get over that he's so entranced by just the absolute bare bones. You didn't even give him a bit of cheese on the burger.

What's so fucking weird about it? No, he didn't want any of that. He wouldn't have eaten it if that was on it. Isn't that basically your Mac? Which tells me... Which tells me the chemicals are in the bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the bread, and he just... And now he's hooked. Well, what's so bad about working there? What's your... It fucking sucks.

Just little men fucking... How old were you? Telling you what's... 16, 17? Yeah. How old was your boss? Oh, man,

started at the same time. Earned about 20 cents an extra hour on top of me. Different coloured shirt. And I imagine in that environment Like a year older.

I imagine some bosses it could really get to their head. Oh, they're fucking yeah, they're hormonator types. I was getting written

warnings and shit all the time. Oh, great. It was fucked. What were you doing wrong? Yeah, but you're a troublemid at times. I was getting written warnings and shit all the time. Oh, great. It was fucked. What were you doing wrong? Yeah, but you're a troublemaker. What was what I was doing wrong? You would have been doing something.

Nothing. Well, it was one of those little ones. Nothing. And you say nothing, and all of a sudden it's like, I came in a quarter pounder twice. Well, yeah. Can you verify this? And look, maybe people who consume Maccas regularly,

you might want to skip ahead. And maybe, Limo, you might want to block your ears. You fed this to your child. I had a friend at a job once at a burger place who'd worked at McDonald's for many years before this, and he was like, the stuff that we are getting up to back there would make you sick. Oh, right.

No, I wouldn't do... No, I think that's psychopathic. Putting shit in people's butt. Hang on. What? What? What? What?

What are they getting up to back there? He was like, we are coming in everything. Now, this may just be the one Maccas that he worked at. Yeah, I don't know. How much cum have they got? Now, Heggie's like, you know what? Now, I'd advertise it. Yeah, yeah.

I'll be the face of cum burger. But also, a lot of planning has to go into that. I think that's... I don't know, man. You think he's made it up to impress me. I did think he was pretty cool after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, this guy's awesome.

There's a lot... There's not that much room there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're always pretty... We've worked there. There's not enough room to fucking get a lather and get it all happening and then put one in the burger and everything.

And also, you've got to do it quick. Yeah, you're always under the park. Well, it assumes that you're at Macca's. Imagine trying to jerk yourself off and that buzzer starts going, you know, like someone's ordered it 10 minutes ago. Well, and even before all that, it's like... Come on, Tommy.

Yeah. You've got to come quick. You're barring up. You're barring up while you're on your shift. Yeah. Just smelling oil. Yeah. Like, God, I'm horny right now.

Yeah. Someone beeping the horn in drive-thru waiting for his cum burger. It's like you can't quite get off. I think we've buried the lead here though. And that's that Tommy thought a guy

was really cool after he told him that he jerked off in fast food. Yeah, I agree. I'm with him. I'm with him on that point. And pass that on

to an innocent consumer. You don't know who's getting that. It's not a cop or something waiting at the fucking counter. Yes. That's just in the pile. That's probably

Lee Mo's kid. It could be. Having his first ever McDonald's and he cops a Kumburger first time. So you mean it's like you're busting into

And now he's hooked. No cheese, Dad. I don't need it. Is this like secret herbs and spices in there? Yeah, no, you're right, Heggie. It's like doing that prank. It's like you assume that it's

going to go to some cunt who deserves it, but it's like imagine you bust into the McFlurry machine and then just like a group of nuns come in. Like, oh no. No. No. 15 Oreo McFlurries, please. No.

Such a great visual group of nuns. Walking into Maccas. And I'm assuming that it's easy to just pull the lid off the top of the McFlurry machine and just, again, have your way in there. So easy. There's no easy way of jerking off into Foodie McDolls. No. This guy's fucking bullshit.

Remember that bloke at the Coogee Bay Tavern who shat in the ice cream? Yeah, yeah. I think this is bullshit too. You think that's bullshit? Mm. I've worked in a lot of kitchens. I've known a lot of grubby chefs. I wasn't there, obviously, but fucking...

That is a high-level psychopath to be able to put shit in someone's food. It's crazy. Randomly into someone's fucking... Also, that's a weird... It's inside. It was shit in ice cream. That's actually a fucking hard mix-in. Like, have you ever seen that cold rock ice or whatever?

That looks like hard work. Just some gummy bears in my stool, thanks. Didn't they scoop out the ice cream, poo in there, then put the ice cream back on top of the poo, put it in the freezer, and the person who did it... there, then put the ice cream back on top of the poo, put it in the freezer, and the person who did it, I don't know if it was like an angry farewell gift after getting sacked or something. That makes a little more sense. Then it was down the track, someone was scooping out the ice cream, and when they scooped,

they managed to scoop some poo as well. Okay. This makes a little more sense. Because that's how it ended up. I thought they meant like Tommy's mate just on the spot. Here we go. Yeah. Just a bit bored.

I'm just going to drop a nugget into this. Got himself inside the soft serve machine and then wiggled his bum and twirled the shit out into a cone. But no, the way you're describing it, the hollowing out the ice cream, it sounds like Ocean's Eleven. Yeah. There's like days of planning. Probably a whiteboard that's got all the times of when people aren't around.

Julia Roberts squeezing one out into a fucking tub. So what sort of stuff were you getting these written warnings for? Just like slacking off or like were you... Definitely not slacking off.

I worked harder than everyone. I was just doing... I was out the back working. I was on the front counter once for like three minutes and then I got yanked off that duty. Yeah. Because you've got to

fucking smile nonsensically all the time yeah just kind of great well that seems to have gone out that's definitely gone this is this is 30 years ago i reckon yeah but um yeah i fucking hated all of it but i was out the back working they put me on the breakfast shift it was one of those little ones and only one person out the back one out the front for the brekkie shift and that was sick yeah because i didn't have to you know i'll just listen to this girl tell me what to make i'd make it it's done didn't have to talk to anyone whatever but sometimes i'd stay back and fill in and that's when the fuckheads came the other employees i mean or be on like the afternoon shift or and it'd be thanks for clarifying which part of society

if you're listening right now this is what this man you know what else i'll resent Thanks for clarifying Which part of society The good fuck is Just a little key Up the top If you're listening right now This is what this means You know what else I've resented too Cops get half price

Maccas Really What Yeah I didn't know that I assume it's still the case It definitely was then Really

They'd line up They'd skip the queue Get half price Is that some sort of like Pay off Is that some sort of like Good business You know we'll

And Don't arrest us for having come in all our food. Yeah. Look the other way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like a protection racket, getting half-price nuggies, I reckon. And, well, it is. It's totally what it is.

Yeah. And in America, the uniforms are made in prisons with slave labour. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Oh, the Macca's uniforms. Macca's uniforms get made by... That's pretty cool. Is it? Yeah. That's pretty good. Oh, the Macca's uniforms. Macca's uniforms get made by them. Is it?

Yeah. That's awesome. I've got a hamburger uniform made from slave labour. So that's two things Tommy Dasolo's described as cool. A guy coming in fast food. End of me about fucking

gambling ads. You like slave labour. Yeah, yeah. Take it from a guy with a big TV, okay. Sexual assault. See, this sorts out the wheat from the chaff.

This separates the guests from people who listen to this show. People who listen to this show listen to what you just said. They're like, yeah, that's what happens. Yeah, that's what we like. Well, so you never did anything, because you're a big egg thrower. You're a big social justice man. Well, I put my shoulder out. I haven't got the arm I used to have for eggs.

So hang on, where are you throwing eggs? Put it in a rotator cuff. You're a big social justice man. I haven't got the armour I used to have for eggs. Where are you throwing eggs? You really need to be in big physical condition to chuck an egg. When was your last egging? Probably early this year. So who did you egg? So you've grown out of it now. Just settling vendettas. It's a young man's game.

I'm not on the balcony Chucking them at passing cards Or anything Who was the Who was the Who was the victim In your last game Oh it was Did they deserve it or not

Thought out Or random Yeah I don't do randoms now Oh you don't do randoms I don't do randoms now Real paladin I've grown up

Gun for hire Big for hire Yeah Yeah it was a guy Like You know when When COVID got invented We were sort of

Had the Had the kids at home All the fucking time right They were always there Doing school and shit And I walked out Must have been hard for you A hard couple years of egging

Just you Egging the Uber Eats guy Over a couple of places No No I don't get that The postie Just covered Or the guy that delivers the eggs

From Foodland. Yeah, yeah. Right. Just wait there one second. The Coles guy pops one egg in the back of the head as he's getting back into his car. No, he'd bought his own chicken to lay his own eggs and then crack in the back of the head of the chicken.

There's a dude, a tradie looking Young one I walked out the back Of our joint It's an apartment block You've seen it And there's a guy Pissing on the Like 2pm

Just pissing on 2pm Pissing on the bricks This is in lockdown On the corner Yeah Like I was usually Out working

I was home this day We weren't allowed To piss outdoors In lockdown Fuck you were lucky Up there I'm a tradie Tradesman

You can do what you want He's pissing on the fucking building. Like, there's a garden right there. He could have just... You know, he stopped his car, got out and just started pissing on the corner of my building. And a couple of things irked me.

You know how... Your dick was bigger than mine. That's annoying. You know how fucking grubs just lift up the shorts and piss out the bottom? I've never liked that. He was doing that.

And that fucking... That gives me the heebie-jeebies. A bit of respect. There's a real, you're right, there's a real attitude to that type of thing. Yeah. It tells you a lot about that fucking overdose. Yeah, no, absolutely. It's an inkblot test. When he's doing that, I thought, oh, this guy can fight like they usually can.

And I sort of, I didn't say, I nearly went, oh, you fucking grub. But I didn't. I thought, I see what's going on. Pull your pants down like a man. But also, my son was literally, like it's a double brick wall. He was on the other side doing his homework. This guy's pissing pretty much. If you took the two bricks out, he's pissing on my son's face.

Basically. It's a long boat, but okay. You're one brick away from Limo's kid eating a cucumber. Guy's pissing on my son's face in court so all of this my son wasn't there my son was covered in piss

he'd given his x-ray goggles yeah no he still is on the other side there well he's um yeah and then he's walked off I just walked out sort of behind him ten minutes behind

and looked out and he's walked across the road got in his car. I thought, I asked the end of that. Then his car, he's done a fucking U-turn and come back over right near me and just parked in front of next door's house, next door's apartment block. And had another piss. No, he got out and walked into that block.

I thought, he doesn't live there. He must be visiting a friend. Wait, so he had driven across the road? No, he hadn't started there. He'd driven coming to his mate's house, I assume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he parked on one side of the road. Run across the road.

Then you and he parked on the other side of the road. You and he parked on my side. Right, right. So he's done a lot for this to happen. Yeah, yeah. And then I thought, oh, he's parking right there. Meanwhile, your son's studying away. It's only...

No idea how close... Hypothetically drenched in piss. How close he came to being covered in piss. And fortuitously, he was still visiting his friend when the sun went down. So his car got fucking done,

didn't it? It did. Yeah, nice. Yeah, right. And how many eggs and whereabouts on the car? I did about six on that. I'd try to get as much coverage as you can. If I'm going to do a full dozen,

I'll go fucking down the bit where the windscreen wiper's coming out, up the fucking exhaust, through the radiator, one or two through there, like just fucking peg from the front. When your wife does the shopping, does she... She didn't shop for these eggs. Yeah, I was going to say, does she do your egging?

Is there two sets of egg shopping? Yeah, I get cage and we eat free range. I was going to ask that. Right, okay. Cage only for me. So two people are getting punished in this episode, right? The chickens and the fucking bad eggs out there. Did you take your son with you?

Is this like a bonding thing you'd like to share? No, I haven't taken my kids egging yet because they can't run fast enough. Let's face it, they're on their fucking own. Like, if you get busted, I'm fucking off. Yeah, of course. I know, fucking blab. They'd dog me straight in, so I'm not having that.

So it's never going to... This isn't like a, you know, Limo with his son with Mac is where it's like, now's the age where he's ready. You don't think you're ever going to hit a point where it's like, son, hop in the car.

This is going to be a beautiful bonding moment. I reckon probably about 17 would be good because they're not going to... If they do get done, they're not going to go to, you know... I don't know. You don't... They get a jail,

but you don't get an adult record if you... Yeah, yeah. But I don't really want to get busted, you know, I don't know, they'll go to jail, but you don't get an adult record if you, but I don't really want to get busted either, and I don't trust anyone. Have you ever come close to being busted? Yeah, have you got busted? Yeah. Have you ever been chased? Yeah. Yeah.

We were out egging once when I was about fucking 18. Did you used to go trick or treating and not wait for the chocolate? Just knock on the door and then boom, straight in the kisser with a fucking egg. Oh, yeah. Got any Cadbury favourites, by the way? Sorry to sideline your answer with another question, but if you had to give a loose estimate, how many eggs do you think you've used for the purpose of egging?

Oh, wow. Well, this is – I mean, people will be offended that I'm just – it's like a food fight. It's quite a fuck- off to people who are hungry. But I once found a fucking, I was working, I was washing up at this Chinese restaurant in Brisbane and out the back of one of the other restaurants in the rubbish was a fucking box of probably 200 eggs that were on the turn. Wow.

So I rang my mate and said, you've got to pick me up for work. The perfect crime. The perfect crime. The perfect crime. And that was... So Osher came down. That bumps it right up. Before you picked him out of the bin, did you sort of scout around the kitchen and go,

does anyone know if these were free range or not? Yeah. Because I respect chickens. I want some unhappy chickens. So that was a massive night. I was just driving for probably about six hours. But this has got to be random. This is not,

you're not going back into the memory banks going, fucking grade five, someone knocked over my milk. I was a bit of both actually. An 18 year old with 200 enemies.

Did you, any eggings, any eggings you regret? Oh, did you hit someone in the back of the head and go, oh,

sorry mum. No, not really. I mean, fuck, looking back, it's not a nice thing to do randomly, is it? Looking back, all those years back to...

Six months ago. All those years back to February. No, randomly, I'm talking. Six months ago? Fuck him, man. That's fine. Sure, sure.

Give a shit. But what about... No, but what about... So we got onto getting caught for egging. Yeah. Oh, no, I didn't get caught, but we were out egging. And there was a few of us. We were in this park not far from my joint in Brisbane.

Oh, sloppy. And someone had obviously. You're getting sloppy. Someone had called the fucking pigs. And so they've rolled up. And we're in the dark, like real dark park. And they've stopped probably 50 metres from us and we're all going, fuck, let's run.

And I still had a carpool. Launched them, one hit the cop car. Oh, no. It's fucking sick. You know, as soon as it leaves your hand and egg, yeah, that's fucking great. That's come off well. You know as soon as it's left.

I love. Oh, my God. I love thinking about it. And then I just ran. This is as close to Tiger Woods as I get yeah I feel like I'm listening

to a sports documentary that moment when it leaves your hand and you just know 20 for 20 Peggy versus cunts I just still am always fascinated by the idea

of like your French wife meeting you France like such a elegant cultural people hearing stories like this and being like this is the most beautiful man I've ever you know why wife meeting you. France, like such an elegant, cultural people. Hearing stories like this and being like, this is the most beautiful man I've ever met. You know why? The French love Jerry Lewis. They love Luke

Heggy. She doesn't listen to this. Is there a friendship? She knows that you egg people though, surely. No. Really? Would you tell your wife if you went out egging? No, but one of the three main things I know about you is that you eat people. The three main things I know about you is that you eat people.

I endorse gambling and I love real estate agents. Yeah, that's it. Men only want three things and it's disgusting. I didn't know you were hiding that the eggs were like a mistress to you. I didn't know that. So this guy has parked his car at the front of your apartment. Yeah. And you've egged him.

Six eggs. All over his car. You haven't gone back inside and said to the missus, sort of that can't happen. That man that pissed on our son, hypothetically. She's never done the washing and gone, what's all this yolk on your collar? Oh, no, nothing.

No, no, no. I slipped over at breakfast. I can get them off clean. I'm not egging myself, you fuckhead. Have you prepared for the day that she comes in, you know, just a pile of cracked shells in her head and she's like, Luke, we need to have a serious conversation. What, after having seen me do it or something or what?

Somehow she just busts you. The jig is up. Have you been careful? Your fingerprints are all over these fucking chairs. Someone checks security vision, right? And they see you. And then they come to the house. You're not home.

They talk to your wife. Man, it's not fucking Hawaii Five-0. I'm just saying this can happen. Yeah. But you've kept this from her for 20 years. Like, you know,

surely she's not going to be like, oh, you've been egging people for 20 years and never mentioned it. I haven't been egging for 20 years. I'll fucking do it like once in a blue moon now. What if she found out

and she was into it and then you guys could, you know, you could go on these sprees together. And that sounded like a drug rehab doco. I do it at once every blue moon.

I don't even... So you've never even been close to getting caught then? Cops are pretty fucking close to being caught. Yeah, but you still got away though. You ran after that though. So when you hit the cop car, did the cops are pretty fucking close to being caught. Yeah, but you still got away, though. Yeah, yeah. You ran after that, though. Off, yes. Yeah, yeah.

So when you hit the cop car, did the cops start chasing you straight away? I don't really know. There's a fucking light and shit across the park. They must have seen us. They're not... No chance. Like four or five teenagers into the fucking bushes. If they hear a hit to the cop car, they don't know what that is immediately. Like, they don't know that's an egg.

Surely they must have gone fucking off straight away thinking someone's shooting at them or something. Yeah, I don't know. Like, again, looking back, not that wise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've had a fucking... And again, when's this? February or when? Fully functional egg in my fucking hand.

How long ago was this? Throwing eggs at a cop car. How long ago? Oh, 30 years. Okay. I was 17. Right. That one of, like, across the street from you, the guy pissing on the wall,

was that like the closest proximity to your house you've ever done? The closest these kids ever had to being pissed on? Yeah. Because I've got issues with my neighbour and I'd love to meet them. But that's too close. I know. You can't do a neighbour. Yeah, exactly.

You'll need a solid alibi. But then that looks audacious anyway. Bye, I reckon. I know. You can't do a neighbour. Yeah, exactly. You'll need a solid alibi, but then that looks audacious anyway, going, bye, I'm going to Brisbane. Yes. I'll be back for two weeks. Can I outsource you to do it? Visiting comedian. Putting up, no, get Heggie's mate to put up a sign out the front of your house, sold,

and pretend you've moved out. Oh, yeah. And then move back in the next day. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't my house on the day that you got egged. That's smart. I was homeless when you got egged. Couldn't have been me.

Yeah. I couldn't even afford rent, let alone 12 eggs. I'm on CCTV of McDonald's in Bourke Street begging for money out the front. That wasn't me. Couldn't have been. Didn't have two eggs to rub together. Yeah, you've got to get a bit more creative. That's annoying.

Or get your mate who used to work at Macca's just to wank into their backyard. Yeah, that'd be good. Do you know where they work? No. Oh, find that out. Yeah. Do you know their car and their number plate? What's the problem with the neighbour? Get the wank into their backyard. Yeah, that'd be good. Do you know where they work? No. Oh, find that out. Yeah. Do you know their car, their number plate? What's the problem with the neighbour?

Get the wank burger delivered. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Wait, to their house? Yeah. Get an Uber Eats. Yes. Stop off here.

Yes. I come in it. Yes. Put it on their doorstep. Yes. They eat it. Yes. You know one way you can do it, if you really want to, like you just want to egg fuck out

of their house, is that right? I just... Yeah. You want something. Do one on your window, like you just want to egg fuck out of their house. Is that right? I just... Yeah. You want something. Do one on your window, 11 on theirs. Oh, I like that. Smart. I like that.

Oh, yeah. Go out the front the next morning and go, I'm cleaning up. Or just a shell. Just be cleaning up. Be seen to be cleaning up your... Did you see who did this as they come out? Yeah, yeah. They're fucking idiots.

Yeah, I cleaned... Muddy kids. 20 of mine. You know what? Not even put one on yours. Just be at the front one morning and go, oh, my fucking God. And then when they walk out, you're just washing your windscreen. Yeah.

Taking it all off. Just get a shell. Just get a couple of shells. Okay. Yeah, this is good. I like that. This is genius. Thank you.

What are they doing? A lot of, like, fucking loud music at night. They got this fucking new dog that our dog hates which is annoying. Yeah, just long... Do they bark at each other? They bark at each other.

Yeah, they're fucking... They're annoying. They give me the shits. Are they... Are you their only enemy? Do you reckon? I find that hard to believe. Well, in that case,

egg away, buddy. Could be anyone. Yeah. Because if they've got other enemies, I thought you were going to say you should catch up with the other enemies. Oh, right. I was going to say,

that's a very funny defense if they hit you up and go, you did this, and you're like, hey, mate, you're a massive cunt. It could be anyone. Everyone fucking hates you. It's not just me.

I would say they're very loud in their backyard that they would be pretty well known in this area, I think. I'm surprised you can't hear them from your joint. Oh, wow. No, we definitely can't hear them from our joint. But you know what? That sort of noise disappears real quick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, our neighbours will be annoying and then we literally go one house over and they're like don't know what you're talking about you can't hear it I had these people once in their

they were in their they were like that just parties all the time didn't bother me but the guy I was living with hated it your son kept him up

piss boy and he'd come out and go fuck that fucking had it again and go well I was sleeping through it I don't care

but let's egg him and I threw across like two back went round the block. You could still see, just threw two back yards, took about 10 shots because we're just launching, trying to. And again, one launch, that is straight through. Like, it went and it just got the whole balcony while they're partying.

Fuck, it sounds like fun. Fucking unbelievable. You really are. See, you advertise, I buy you as, as like an advertising gambling or McDonald's or whatever because I'm getting sucked in. I'm hearing this and it's working. I want to go egging. You should be on the egg board.

You should be the face of the egg board. Not fucking real estate, not gambling. Is there like an in-between? So, okay, so I was in a scenario once in Kabul, right? Where I was in an Aussie Bushmaster vehicle. You've done these gigs, right? Doing a pretty bit of a sketchy open mic over there, were you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the Afghan open mic saying, it's stronger than you'd think. We're in a Bushmaster. When you bomb, you bomb. And there's a car. There's a dude in these Bushmaster vehicles. You're all sat down inside this thing, right, facing each other. And you've got about five or six of you along one sort of wall of the vehicle,

five or six on the other side. And standing out the roof is a gunner, right? And he's got a gun. He's surveying everything. A Toyota Corolla pulls up right next while we're driving along. So they're like in his head the guy

the gunner dude he's like well I'm trying to tell this car to go away but he won't. He says I can't shoot him that's an overreaction.

He says I can't throw a flare because that's too much as well. So what do you do? He ended up throwing a water bottle at him to make the car go away

but an egg a great middle ground for a war zone if a bullet car go away but an egg go great middle ground for a war zone yeah yeah if a bullet's too much yeah have an egg

always have an egg eggs on the front lines imagine the fucking death toll you know what

would be a good one because I don't that often like I'll be on my push bike and think I'd love an egg now for someone just

cutting me off or just doing something stupid but you need one that's non-perishable, just to keep a couple in the glove box. That's what I was going to say.

Glove box eggs could be sick. You can't carry one round with you all the time, can you? No. Is a hard-boiled an option? Or friend threw an egg at me once. I was at his mum's. And he looked outside laughing. What have you been doing in there? To get egged?

No, we were like seven ages. And he's gotten an egg out of the fridge. You dog. And he didn't know it was hard-boiled. And he came out and egged me. And it fucking hurt. It really hurt. It was like a rock.

He was pissing himself laughing. Fucking egged me. I mean, at that point, that's not an egging. It's like he may as well just be throwing a rock at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't know it was hard-boiled. Right. But yeah, it hurt.

It's like, yeah. I wouldn't do that to someone. Cookingiled. Right, yeah. But it, yeah, it hurt. It's like, yeah. I wouldn't do that to someone. Cooking egg and putting it on a steak and hitting you with that or something. It's like, it's unrelated, but it's not an egg. Who was the politician that got egged? Remember that guy who ran up and...

Fraser Anning. Fraser Anning. Fraser Anning. Egg Boy. Have you seen Egg Boy? Egg Boy. He's one of your mates in Melbourne. He's somewhat of a philosopher.

Right. Yeah. Have you... He's gone off the deep end. Hang on, did it make you? Have you seen him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's mad. Egg boy.

Egg boy. He was a viral little guy for doing that, and now he's a nutcase or something. He went a bit, yeah, he went a bit anti-vax and all that kind of stuff. Oh, right. Did he? Egg boy lost his way. You know who's a scholar of Egg Boy? Nazeem Hussain.

Fucking loves Egg Boy. He's got all the videos and shit. Loves it. Well, this is, yeah, when it was, not even Egg Boy, like after that, his philosophy. He was sending me videos of that. Oh, really? Yeah. So Nazeem's taking philosophy lessons from like a 17-year-old boy.

Yes. No, but he's laughing at it. Yeah, yeah, of course. Oh, damn. Right. But when you saw Egg Boy, were you jealous or were you like, yeah, brother, you're one of the... Not really. No.

I mean, it was pretty funny. Too much heat. Too many eyes on the egg and can you... Yeah, yeah. That's not my MO. Don't do it in front of the screen. Don't do something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, right. I did enjoy that, though. Like, at a press conference, they started having a tussle on the floor. Yeah. And there was no one in that room except Fraser Anning with shoes on. They're all... Like, you see the film footage, all these thongs on the floor. People getting Egg Boy and trying to kill him. Egg Boy had th shoes on. They're all, like you see the film footage, all these thongs on the floor, people getting Egg Boy and trying to kill him.

Egg Boy had thongs on. The two heavies had thongs on. They were all just wearing thongs to a fucking press conference. If you had to pick a public figure to Egg, who would you pick? Who would you want to take down? What about someone in comedy? I don't know.

Maybe you two? I don't know. You get five eggs to use on the comedy community. Oh, that's good. That's good. I don't know. Maybe you two? I don't know. You get five eggs to use on the comedy community. Oh, that's good. That's good. I don't know. That's an after pod conversation. Yeah, probably.

I've never thought about this. You'd love to land like Trump at a big rally. Yeah. Just right in the middle of the head. You'd get killed. You would die immediately, I reckon. Like a supporter with a gun would kill you. Not even his bodyguards.

And they have guns. Yeah, they're properly armed. You're going to get killed. Do that to someone in Australia politics and you're fine. Yeah. I was nervous about having you around today, Heggie, because we've got a dog quite recently and I feel like the house is a mess.

It stinks. And I know Heggie's famous list of people who stink in comedy. And I was out yesterday. I went away yesterday and then I came back into their house today and like smelt it fresh and went, oh, Christ. I'm ending up on this fucking list after this. That's more personal. Do you think? Is it worth it?

I can't smell it. I don't think it's that bad at all. I've got a little bit of a cold, but I can't smell it. I've got a dog at my house, so maybe I'll just walk in. It's just dog smell. Oh, you're immune. Or have you got shits in here somewhere that I don't know about

well I hope not but you know he's still toilet training so we're cleaning him up pretty constantly I feel like there's a real musk in here so what sort of dog is it

I haven't seen he's a little Maltese poodle with probably a bit of Jack Russell in him yeah right rescue he's a rescue thanks for bringing it up Limo he's a rescue, yeah. Thanks for bringing it up, Limo.

Yeah, he's a rescue. Yeah, no big deal. Oh, another man among men. Rescue dog. Where did you rescue him from? What was he? Was he in the salt mines working? Was it burning buildings?

He was at a puppy farm. Yeah, it was a bridge over lava. Right. It was him and my girlfriend girlfriend and I had to pick. Okay. I picked him. Nice one, man. No big deal.

Congrats. No big deal. What about this? I went to a... I was near your old digs the other day, actually, Tommy Dasolo. I was walking home. For lease? I hadn't eaten dinner.

Is it still for lease? No, I don't know. Oh, okay. I hadn't eaten dinner and I went past. There's a pizza shop near your old place that I very much quite like. And advertising worked out. They've got a big A1 out the front that says Tuesday cheap pizzas, 14 bucks. Hadn't eaten, thought this is perfect.

They're good pizzas. Yep. So I went in and... Really getting into the psychology of getting a pizza. Oh, I love the advertising. Because, you know, I'm in. $14 is a fair price. That's not that special, is it?

Oh, in Melbourne, for like a fancy pizza. Oh, okay. It's a fancy pizza. For a good large? Yes, $14 for a large. $14 for a large. Wood-fired. You know, nice little burnt crust, crusty sort of crust. Yeah, yeah.

On the tips. I know the type. Yeah, very nice. And so I went in and I said, no worries, I'll have, what was it, half chicken, half Hawaiian. What the fuck is that? Oh, no, this is, no, that's not a. No? Well, no, go on.

Half chicken, half Hawaiian. And the girl said, no worries, and rang it up. That'll be $22, thanks. I said, no, no, it says $14 out the front. That's why I came in. You've got a big sign. That's what got me in, $14. Yeah.

No, we don't do half-half for that price. Oh, you don't do half-half? I'm kind of on her side here. So it's $8 difference to do a half-half. $8. So how big is the pizza? It's large. Large.

What's with the half-half business? Just, you know, justhalf business? Just in case. Just in case I didn't like one of them or just to mix it up. Yeah, right. I've lost faith in the pizza joint too, the fact that they do Hawaiian and chicken pizza. That's not a fucking Italian pizza joint. It's not your Italian. No.

I want meat lovers, pepperoni. Have you got the ones where they bake the meat pies into the crust? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That fucking Domino's burger thing that they're doing? Stupid. I love this is where Egg Boy draws the line. A great Italian cuisine expert, fucking Luke Hagee. But I feel like every time you see a deal in a pizza chain,

a local pizza shop, I feel like it's one of the most well-known things you always see excludes half and half. Okay. I don't know what the logic is, but I feel like I see that on nearly every kind of- Was there one chance to dig it into fuckheads who order half and half? I really feel like the half-half is a 90s thing. Is it?

Yeah, I think the half-halves. Yeah, I like it. You've got to commit. You've got to make a commitment. I like it. You gotta commit. You gotta make it. I like it. I go one piece of one, one piece of the other. What about two smalls? Get two smalls. Yeah, that's not the deal, mate. If I get two smalls, all of a sudden Half-half isn't the deal either. It's 24 bucks for two

smalls or something ludicrous like that. Get your fucking Hawaiian and then go to Coles and get a fucking roast chook in a bag. If you've got grievances with this, I think it's gonna to get worse for you guys. Okay. Good Lord. I think it's going

to get worse. It is, I mean, I know like, obviously, you know, the real heads over in Naples

like turn their nose up about any kind of pizza that's outside of it. But it's like, you're an Italian guy that owns a wood fire oven and someone comes in

and asks for half and half. It's like, what an insult. What an absolute bastardization of this beautiful culture. Yeah, I get it. Italian, you know, over half. It's like, what an insult. What an absolute bastardisation of this beautiful culture. Yeah, I get it. Italian, you know, over there and it's like, there's three things you can put on a pizza, cool. But this joint, there was fucking 17 things, alright?

I'm just getting fired up because this is my people that you're offending. Sorry. This is my background. My culture isn't a prom dress. Your nonna would hate this conversation. My culture isn't half a prom dress and half some other kind of dress. Yeah, your nonna Glenys would fucking hate this. Sheila, thank you.

So, sorry. So, got knocked back for that, and I was like, I'm not paying eight bucks extra for half-half. Like, that's insane. It wasn't an option to walk out? Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. Well, I said, okay, you know what? Just make it all chicken then. I'm not doing that.

I'm not paying eight bucks for half-half. Sensible. And then all of a sudden, the manager must have been in hearing... Earshot. Earshot, that's the term. And all of a sudden, there was a bit of a conference.

So she went over. Minute discussion, I'd'd say come back over now we can we can do that we can do that for you karen chandler spoke to the manager we can we can do that did you watch them make the entire process you watch the entire process because that's when you get fucking snot in your face yeah yeah yeah yeah i always hear i'd say i've come i never complain too loudly in a restaurant because i'm always someone's gonna fucking rub their balls in my yeah you can't do it well yeah well it wasn't a good plan it was just this is a negotiating bit at the point like i just didn't like eight bucks it didn't make much sense to me when they came back and said yeah we'll do your half half did you say well well, about time?

No, no. Someone's come to their senses. Welcome to the future. That's when I made my next move. This is a lot about your mindset that you described. This is a negotiation. This is your next move. It's not the Martin Place siege.

When they came back and said, yeah, we can do half-half, you should have said, actually, can I have half a wine, a quarter chicken? Yeah, I would love that. I want thirds. I would love that. I would love that. And a one-eighth.

Yes. Oh, man. Try that on. Go into a pizza joint and go, so I'll get a third this, a third this. What, you don't do third, third, third? What is wrong with you guys? That's up to you to work out the maths on this. I'm the one paying.

You work out the backing. Fuck, what was your next move? The next move is. It wasn't thank you very much, obviously. No, no, there's more. There's more to you to work out the maths on this. I'm the one paying. You work out the backing. Fuck, what was your next move? The next move is... It wasn't thank you very much, obviously. No, no, there's more. There's more to it than that. Five stars on Google. Very accommodating.

I've got a slight feeling that, yeah, you're going to be more upset with it than you've been already. Oh, my God. You haggled them down. Pizza straight in the bin. No, no, no. So, okay. So we're back to the deal that's advertised out the front on the A-frame.

So I'm all happy with that at the moment. Okay, no worries. So I've got the chicken, I've got the Hawaiian. No problem. So on the half-half, I'd like no pineapple on the Hawaiian. Such a ham pizza. This is getting fucking tedious. Yeah, and I'd like no...

Oh, fuck, what was it? I can't even remember what I said no to. You wanted baked beans on some of it as well. No, no, no. No ham? No. Pineapple and no ham on the wine. Excuse me, do you do cheesy crust?

No. Can I have lollies on them? No. I don't want any chicken on the chicken wine. Yeah. You smarties in there, thanks. No capsicum on the chicken, thanks. So no pineapple on the wine, no capsicum on the chicken, thanks for that.

She's like, okay, right. Makes the note. Then rings it up. No worries, $16, thanks. I said, I don't have to bring you back to this point. On the sign out the front, it says $14 for the large. I'm quitting if I'm the man of principles. I'm walking straight out.

It's not worth it. It says $14 out the front. So I thought we got back there. And now we've bumped it back up again. It's not worth it. It says $14 out the front, so I thought we got back there. And now we've bumped it back up again. It's $16. And she says, yeah, it's because we charge you for the changes to the menu. So I'm getting charged a dollar each half of the pizza. You wanted half, half.

To leave something off. I'm not asking to fucking add something. She's charging me to leave something off. The pizzas haven't been made. She's charging me to leave something off. The pizzas haven't been made. She's not grabbing it off the pizza. This is why the Soup Nancy episode of Seinfeld is the most popular one. Because that's where someone should have just walked out and gone, no pizza for you, get out.

You ask for extra cheese or extra onion or something. I get it when you get charged for that. I'm getting fined for not having something on though. never you've never served anyone have you have you ever served anyone yeah yeah not not full time i assume if they've got chicken and hawaiian it's a pretty extensive fucking menu yeah don't order off menu yeah pick the food off you don't like like a fussy fucking kid yeah shut your mouth don't eat snot so then because it's like now you're not even going for any two kinds of pizza that are like that wild it's like, now you're not even going for any two kinds of pizza that are like that wild.

It's like literally just, you want one half of this pizza to have chicken on it and one half to have ham. Yes. Get a fucking meat lover's cunt. That's what that's for. No, I don't like that. I like this.

Oh, my God. That's where the service industry's fucked up, is accommodating cunts. First time someone did it They just took the piss now I reckon the Uber Inc thing People being able to put that in as a note And you know not have to like

Deal with the person face to face Has done a lot to set back that mentality Look I don't care My argument is They're not picking anything off the pizza As I'm doing They're building it from scratch I'm doing them a favour

I'm lessening the labour cost there. Did you point that out? They're not having to put pineapple on. They're not having to chop up fucking, what was the other thing? Capsicum. Capsicum. I hear footsteps. I think the manager's coming out again.

Okay, we've had a chat. Mario's here. We've had a chat. Get out. Get out. We've had a chat. All three of us are going to wank into your pizza. We're calling in someone on their day off to come in and wank into the pizza as well.

You're banned for 12 months. Mario's here in Fitzroy, where we are now, they used to, up until very recently, would only take cash. You could only get full cream milk coffee. Yep. No takeaway. You couldn't get any other... Nothing off the menu. Nothing off menu, I mean. Nothing coffee. Yep. No takeaway. And you couldn't get any other. Nothing off the menu.

Nothing off menu, I mean. Nothing off menu. And no takeaways. And you couldn't go, oh, there's a skinny latte. It's no skim milk. Yep. Can you get some skim milk for us? No.

I used to fucking love it. It was great. But they're a local institution. It's full all the time. Yeah. Well, it can be done. Yeah. And it is done.

But people would go there actually like that. They're asking for additions. They're not saying give us a fucking spaghetti bolognese but don't put a fork on the plate or whatever. But the place is good. Can I have a large pizza without a base? Hold the base. Just the ingredients.

I'll put my head in the oven and you just put the ingredients in my gob can I have a bowl toppings and a fork no I'll pay the extra that's fine $2 extra that's fine I get it and you're welcome but not having to wash up afterwards I'm the hero here so what's the end of this story

are you getting the pizza yeah I got the pizza I just had to cop it. I'd given up the fight. I'm like, all right, I'm paying two bucks for your fucking stupid little rule of me changing a pizza that doesn't exist yet. Did it ruin your experience? No, it didn't ruin it. Pizza was nice.

I got what I wanted. I just had to pay a $2 fucking stupid tax. Let's just hope that that small business is out of business soon. For the way they treat people like they're battlers. Fingers crossed for another lockdown to really sink them. Thank you.

That can't stop. They'll be sponsoring your next comedy show, so you should fucking big them up. My mob will turn that into apartments. All right.

Well, we'd better wrap it up there for another week on the Little Dum Dum Club. Luke Heggy and Lemo, thank you very much for joining us. It has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you. Lemo, things to plug? My Don't Be a Fuckwit podcast. Oh, a new podcast.

A new podcast, episode four. From the content of this podcast, none of us will be invited on because we are the subject of... No, no, you're just the guests I need. Yeah, we'll be among the content but with other guests. With other guests, yeah, yeah. So it's a comedy self-help podcast. Cool.

Because they're trying to combat the rise of the fuckwit. It's become a real scourge. You can find some pizza places in Melbourne. We've done a restaurant episode with Tom Gleeson and Shane Delia about how to not be a fuckwit in a restaurant. Yeah, nice. We didn't get to pizza takeaway.

Quick one for you though. My wife is a bandit in a restaurant for stacking up plates. And she thinks she's helping. Do you reckon they like that? No, they fucking hate it. is abandoned in a restaurant for stacking up plates and she thinks she's helping. Yeah. Do you reckon they like that? No. No, they fucking hate it.

They don't. Because they want to do the big carry of like three of them on the arm. Well, to them it's an insult. It's you telling them they're not doing their job. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. Well, it's just never done properly. There's bits of fucking food in between. It's like Pricks who shove a napkin in the bottom of a pint glass helping you clean up.

Oh, man. That's a fucking pony. Just tidying up. Oh, man. That's a fucking pony, honestly. Just tidying up. But anyway, don't be a fuckwit. Cool. Some people are having trouble finding it, perhaps because there's a swear in the title. So search Limo.

Search Limo. Cool, man. On your podcast provider. The old word. Speaking of podcasts, Luke, you've got Midflight Brawl with Nick Cody. Yep. I'd also like to plug Eastside Realty. Got a few good auctions this weekend. The L word. Speaking of podcasts, Luke, you've got Midflight Brawl with Nick Cody.

I'd also like to plug Eastside Realty. Got a few good auctions this week. And we've got our tour coming up. The L word. Yeah, the L word tour. No, I'd like to plug, actually, Botlow with Cam Knight. Yep. Look up Cam Knight on Facebook Reels.

Somehow it's under his fucking name not mine at all even though it's an equal partnership but have a look at his Facebook I think it's on it's going live it's a little comedy skit

that you put out every week every week every Friday you and Cam Knight are playing the what do you call it workers in a bottle shop

and there's people like you coming in every day can I get a half Jim Beam half Jack Daniels thing? Can you knock out 1% alcohol out of this? It's fucking exactly like that.

Working in a shop, yeah. Do you ever wank into the bottles? Let's make this a real cocksucking cow. Yes. Put our money where our mouth is. All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks for listening.

And we'll see you next time. See you next time. See you mates. And they've done it again. They have done it again. Like I said at the top of the show,

the big live show October 22nd, Saturday night, Comics Lounge in Melbourne, 12th birthday slash Oz Comedy Hall of Fame inductees.

I have got some emails being like, wow, all these people are going to be at the show. Yes. Yep.

Dame Edna is going to be at the Comics Lounge. Yep. Dickie Nee. Alongside Dickie Nee. And Hannah Gadsby.

Hannah Gadsby. Just announced that she's producing a series of gender diverse specials for Netflix.

Taking time out of them from scouting non-binary. That's why Damien is there. Doesn't get any more gender diverse than a man dressing up as a woman. That's two in one. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, man. That's going to be a lot of fun.

There's going to be some confused people there, but it's also going to be, yeah, there's going to be a lot of fun. There's going to be some confused people there, but it's also going to be a lot of fireworks, I think. A lot of the confused people there will be the ones on stage as well. I think even we're currently going to be like, what is this? What are we doing? We do do a lot of fuck things, but this is a new sort of a fuck thing

where we're not quite on top of it. You know what this is? This is, like I said at the top of the show, this is two shows for the price of one yes which isn't strictly correct because it's like the 500 600th we did one and then we did the other we took a break and then we did the other yeah this is more like a turducken where it's like one of the shows is kind of technically happening within the other show yeah and we have to work out we i we were debating the other day which one is the turkey yeah is it the yeah the – yeah, which is the main event?

Well, also, it's like you said, 500 and 600 were back-to-back, two great courses. It was like a steak and then some ice cream. This is more ice cream stuffed into a steak. It's like, is that good? That might be bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're both – if it was one or the other, you'd go,

hey, that was a great live show. Yeah, yeah. But having to split the difference and find a middle ground between a birthday party and a Hall of Fame production. I think it's going to be – I've got a good feeling that it's going to be a good chaos. I think it's going to be good. Well, we've got a good amount of tech to play with in this venue. Yes, you're right. It gives us the capability of doing some stuff that we haven't really ever been able to do in a live show before.

You're dead right. We do have a big screen to play with. Yeah, so there will be a lot of stuff happening in the room that will be infuriating to everyone listening on audio only. So, hey, if that doesn't get you across the line of buying a ticket, you might be sitting there going like, oh, I can just listen to it the next week. It's like you certainly can, but you'll be annoyed by most of it.

Yes. There'll be 20-second stretches where people laugh and you go, well, that would have been cool to see. Yeah, totally. And we'll be playing a porno on the big screen. Yes. You'll just be able to hear us like, you know, coming wildly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll be at home being like, damn, I could have been watching a porno.

Yeah, you'd be able to hear the coming and go, well, who's doing that? Who's coming? It's hard to know. What was that old website that you would get on? You wouldn't know who's popping up with a webcam. Chat roulette? Chat roulette, yeah. Is chat roulette still going?

Let's get that up. Yeah, that's a good question. I would assume so. It's like all those old websites. You assume that they're just defunct and no one's using them anymore. And then you find like, nah, they're still active. There's like eight people across the whole world using it. Chatroulette.com.

Still up. It's still up. It's still going. It's still there. That's good. God, that – if that had – it felt like that kind of – like a lot of websites burned very brightly for a very short period. Yes. If that had to come out during lockdown, a completely different story.

Why didn't we bring it back during lockdown? Yeah. I mean, some people probably, definitely there would have been a bit of a spike in users. A few share houses sitting around talking about, you know, back in the day internet. Someone goes, you know what we should do? Let's do the dirty double. Chat roulette with a rotten dot-com chaser. Yeah.

That is interesting to see who's still, like if you get on chat roulette now and someone pulls their dick out within a second, and you're like, man, you're still doing this? Like, have you been, are you an OG? Have you been like consistently doing this for 10 years? It must have been over 10 years. But are there a lot of ads on it now?

Because someone's got to be paying the money to have that server still on. Well, I'm on the homepage and there's nothing on the homepage. I wonder what's in it for them to still be bothering to pay for Chatroulette to be up. Or maybe this is a thing. Sometimes what will happen with video games that have an online component at a certain period of time let's say 10 years after the game has come out the company that makes it will just shut off the service because they're like it's not worth us paying for this yeah very few people are paying it and playing it anymore people have moved onto the next console but then a lot of times fans will set up their own server so that if you're a

real like die hardhard retro enthusiast, you can still get on and play it. Maybe this is that. Maybe this is just the diehard Chatroulette fans have bandied together, pulled their resources and cash and gone, no, Chatroulette must live on for future generations. Just because the company gave up on it, there's still a fan base out there. Yeah, they're just too scared that someone else is going to jump on it.

Justin Tim Blake's going to buy it, MySpace style. He should buy all the, like, it would be great if he just, like, scooped up all the, like, early aughts. Napster. Yeah, he buys Threadless. That was, like, big for a bit. Yeah. Just, like, he's just feeling very nostalgic and very retro. That's his way of

instead of just listening to the same band you listen to when you're 18 you just buy all the websites you looked at when you're 18 that's the rich guy

equivalent of being like oh Pavement are coming out yeah yeah yeah I'll go to that that'll be cool yeah yeah yeah that's his midlife crisis instead of a fucking

soft top Corvette he just buys chat roulette yeah yeah I kind of want to go on Sea Pavement to be honest when they're out. I did get the offer from a

bunch of like-aged friends. Yeah, that's kind of part of the reason why I want to go is because I think it's the sort of gig where if I close my eyes, I reckon I can picture the audience now with 100% accuracy. And I sort of want to go just to like do

spot the difference and, you know, to just like show myself that I was 100% right. Well, it was funny because I was put into a chat with a bunch of people. And they're fine, but I was never that into them. So I was no chance. But I did enjoy the discussion between the people in the chat of my age that were in there going, oh, no, I can't go. Yeah, look, I just can't do it.

I just can't go. And, yeah, I just don't want to go to the forum to see it. And it's like, no, no, no, it's at the Palais. And then all of a sudden, oh, that's seated. Okay. I mean. Right. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I mean, look, it must be. How depressing. It must be, yeah, a weird thing for a band like that. It's like, you know, you notice a drop-off in ticket sales, and it's just like, yeah, man, your audience couldn't get a babysitter that night. Yeah. Well, it's a mix. You know, I think those bands, as they age, it's like, well, you know,

they couldn't get away with charging more than $15 back in the day, and now it's like, yeah, probably $150. Yeah, right. Because the people coming are all, you know, middle to higher management now. Yeah. So they've got money. But at the same time, I mean, I was a bit young for them back in the day,

and I've gotten onto them retroactively, I'd go. So maybe it's like... But I don't think you're the key demo. No, of course not. But it's like you would have heard complaining about this from many of our friends in comedy who have kids, who do a lot of kid material, that it's like, heaven forbid, the slot that they get at the comedy festival is 8.30 or later. Having just spirals about like, my audience of parents, they can't be out that late.

I need to be on at 6pm at the absolute latest. They need to get the babysitter, put the kids to bed at 5 o'clock, be back by 8.15. I'm getting killed out there. Or even like a few people that maybe are not as successful and that are just like instead of thinking about the audience, they're just going, I can't do that time, that time slot, because that's bath time. It's funny to think of pavement having the same concerns.

No, the opener goes on after us. Yeah, yeah. Spiral stairs says no. We only play music festivals at three in the afternoon because that's all our audience can handle. I've got a bath junior stairs. Yeah, sorry, guys. My son, Stephen, needs his veggies and stairs

so um yeah guys look sorry bath time i hope your bath time six o'clock on saturday uh october 22nd get you get your kid fucking clean wipe all the shit off your kid nice and early and then come along eight o'clock start that night it's on a saturday night no fucking excuse that's classic yeah the 8 p.m start that's your if you Saturday night. No fucking excuse. That's classic. Yeah. The 8pm start. That's your, if you're, you know,

our demo's ageing along with us. Like, that's your night out for the week. We're not asking to come out on a Tuesday night. You know, we're not asking to come out on, even if, I think Friday is like harder to come out than Saturday,

I think. Don't you think? I think Fridays are worse audiences. I think it's a harder decision for people to make to come out on a Friday than a Saturday. Yeah, they got the whole day to... Yeah. But I mean, Fridays, I feel like,

especially in a festival run, you notice it's like people have just gone... People have gone to the pub straight after work and you get people that's like, by the time they're at the show, they're like, they're fucking checked out. I like the idea... So, you know, we've talked about, but my gig by the time they're at the show, they're like, they're fucking checked out. I like the idea, so, you know,

we've talked about, but like my gig, Basement Comedy Club on the weekends, so it's on Friday and Saturday. So Saturday, yeah, that's your classic audience. Yeah.

That's your chocolate ice cream. Yeah. And then on Friday, it's like, the manager at the venue was encouraging me to be like, how about you change your time from instead of eight o'clock,

do like seven or 6.30 or something. And I'm like, talk me through the thinking of that. And he's like, well, you know, you get your people knocking off from work. You get people straight after work. Straight after work. You get your people from, you know, out of the office and, you know, out of Collins Street and whatever. And it's like, so you think people are knocking off at 5 o'clock

and then they're just going to get shit-faced for two hours and then walk straight into a comedy show like all suited up i don't think that's gonna happen yeah yeah that's the thing i'm not sure if i want it yeah you would need to make it like 5 30 yes like straight out the door into the gig the gig is pre-drinks i know some cities where they have gigs that are that function like that but yeah yeah i don't think it's ever going to kick off that. It's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, totally.

But yeah, you definitely do notice, even if it's just something socially, if you're meeting up with people on like a Friday night, it's still fun, but there is kind of that like manic energy of people have had to like, your friends have had to like get home from the office, quickly shower, feed the cat and then be out the door. But a Saturday, it's like, let's meet at like 7 the office, quickly shower, feed the cat and then be out the door. But a Saturday it's like, let's meet at like seven 38 for dinner at the pub. It's like, you'll then,

you know, mid afternoon you'll get, you know, you'll get one or two people building up to it the whole day. And there's always like inevitably one or two people on the text line. Like anyone want to meet up a bit earlier? It's just that there's that mania in the air that just kind of has the whole day to gesticulate.

And it's, but it's like the energy of people being so revved up to be out of the fucking office on Friday it's like it's too it's your tiny New Year's Eve that's what it is every week your tiny little New Year's Eve everything else is a fucking pain in the ass

to normal people that have normal lives not us no totally I'm cosplaying right now but I will say going out and getting shit faced on the Friday and then doing absolutely jack shit on the Saturday,

taking the whole rest of the weekend to recover, that's heaven. Yeah, right. It is. Yeah. Starting early and finishing early is fucking great. If you can get away with it, it's great. I finish way too late consistently,

but if you can finish, if you can have a big one and finish it nine or ten o'clock and be at home, I feel like there's no hangover. You cop a couple of extra hours of sleep. It's fucking great. You notice with hangovers a lot of the time, that's what kills you is just the lack of sleep.

Yes. It's more sleep than the grog. I drank for 15 straight hours on grand final day. Wow. Yeah. Big scenes. What's the what's the what's the start and end time start time midday yeah little lunch down at the royston all right oh nice yeah little lunch there um watch the game kick on for a little bit there after the game

and then friends of mine who their house always ends up as the kick-on house. And it was always very reluctantly like you'd be at a second or third location of where we'd been at. And then it's like, oh, everywhere's closing. All right, back to ours. They've just accepted it now. So it's like they were a bit late to turn up because they were like, look, we know what's going to happen here. So we did an inventory of all the cans of drink that have ever been left over at our house after kick-ons. So that there's stuff just in the fridge ready to go for when been left over at our house after kick-ons so that there's stuff just in the fridge ready to go

for when people turn up at our house after this. But then it was like the game finished and then there was like a half hour afterwards and then all of a sudden they were like, all right, everyone, in an Uber back to ours now. And I was like, okay, so you're sort of complaining about how people always end up here and now you're like actively shepherding us back to your house. But, yeah, it was a fucking, it was one for the ages.

Wow. How was the Royston? Great. Yeah. I mean, look, great pub, always fun there. Hard to judge it. Not much of a vibe given how dull the game was. Yeah.

But like, yeah, a lot of people there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good scenes. Great food. Very good food yeah fuck I want to go there now

it's not open it's not open today I was at the Melbourne show instead oh yeah didn't watch one second of the game now

you told me that you thought you saw that you that you thought someone had died yes and then

the next day yeah there was a report about that woman getting hit by the roller coaster. Yeah, I don't think that... But that was on that... They were on separate dates. Yes.

What the fuck's going on at the show this year? Well, you put so many people in one place. Yeah. What's up? Someone's going to die, I reckon. I just... Because you said that, and then I saw the story about the roller coaster. I was like, oh, that must have been...

And then I'm like, no, hang on. That was yesterday he was telling me that. Yes. It's me that. Yes. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. I think I saw someone very on the quiet just do a bit of natural causes, a bit of naked, I reckon. A bit of Disney World style.

Yes. Shuffled into the car park so that they can officially say, no one has ever died at the Royal Melbourne Show. Yes. No, it was in the mini little ambulance, but some very, very dark curtains hung over in the mini ambulance and people not going particularly quickly. There was no particular rush with this medical emergency, shall we say. Right, right, right, right.

Yeah. So I think someone coming out of the food hall was, I don't know, maybe had a bit of a dodgy Dagwood dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're the family of that person, and then the next day it's like, because I think apparently the woman who got hit by the roller coaster, she was like, she'd gone onto the tracks to get a dropped phone

or something like that. So it's not just like. Let me say this. Looking at the people at the Melbourne show this year, the carnival. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not surprised someone did something like wandered into a roller coaster to duck under to get their phone yeah

fucking hell so it's like that's like that's in the papers if you're the family of this person who died the day before yeah yeah through no fault of their own presumably it's like why is this idiot getting all the traction in the newspaper well do you want that i don't know i don't know i don't think there's a lot of people. Look, I don't know if you've read a paper lately or ever, Tommy, but there's not a lot of someone died of natural causes today. Yeah, but you'd be like, oh, fuck, all right. But yeah.

Yeah. Well, there is. There's an obituary section. Yeah. That's kind of, that's probably like 90% of what that is. That's paid for. That's an ad. It's in there.

That's an ad. If you want that in there, you can put that in there if you want. That's true. My grandma died. At the show. Yeah. Eating. Choked on a birdie beetle.

Yeah. How was it? Because this is the first one in like three years, right? Yeah. Same as the grand final. Yeah. No, it was good. Well, I mean, of being out.

Yes. It was good because I brought my child. My child hasn't been to something like that and it's a combo of rides plus get a show bag got a show bag rides plus show bag plus food plus uh animals yep so it's good yeah yeah so like i think like we've probably whether we've talked about this on here or just personally we've talked about this before so or just personally, we've talked about this before. So Melbourne Show, great institution. If you're not from Melbourne, you get what shows are, I guess. Travelling carnival. Yeah, travelling carnival sort of things if you're from overseas.

So it's a big thing. Yeah, it's a carnival. What do you call it? A state fair in America? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think we have rediscovered a bit of a love for that after a lot of time as an adult, going there with new eyes.

I think what it is as an adult is you don't go for many years. You go when you're a kid. You get over it. It's not cool. Yeah. Every few years, you sort of go, you know what? This would be fun in kind of a semi-ironic kind of way. We'll go and we'll have some food.

We'll just walk around. We'll see all this stuff. And then you get there. It's so crowded yeah it's full of low breeds yes it's just yeah it's a pain in the ass and you and then that scares you off for like maybe another three years yeah and then you re-remember but then of course kids coming into the equation it's like that's a whole new yeah whole new fresh set of eyes exactly no so it was fun it was fun it was good uh show back but of course it was fun. It was fun. It was good. Show back. But of course, it was like, you think, man, this is going to be so good.

My kid's going to have her mind blown by how many crazy things are out here and how much there is to do. But of course, what it then quickly turns into is, oh, look, look, guess what? You get to have this. But it's like, yes, you do get to have these three things. But look at the one million things you're missing out on. Very true. So then the kid turns into, fuck fuck i want this and this and this and

this and this yeah it's like well you don't get any of that stuff because you've got these three things yeah yeah very true i yeah i remember being a kid and like my parents giving me like an allowance for the show and like getting the getting the in the paper the like big list of all the show bags yeah and it's like okay you get this much yeah you gotta you gotta divvy it up yeah do you want to get you know a few smaller ones that have the lollies yeah or do you want to get one of the bigger ones that's got a couple toys in it yeah and just that and just like the seeing how many there was yeah well like yeah yeah i want the better homes and gardens show yeah that's 48 dollars that's out of my budget yeah oh my god I mean fuck nothing ages you

like finding out the prices of show bags oh yeah your basics 32 bucks what's Bertie Beetle now don't know that was always $2

back in the day yeah I think they tried to keep it like around that as much as they can but they just make everything smaller and smaller

so now I think you get the bag and maybe a Kleenex in there or something like that like there's not much I've still got I've got I don't know why I've got two of these I think someone then gave bag and maybe a Kleenex in there or something like that. Like there's not much. I've still got, I've got, I don't know why I've got two of these. I think someone then gave me one,

but I've got, from when we went, I've got a little Birdie Beetle Esky, like a little mini portable Esky that came in the Birdie Beetle show bag one year. Yeah. Not a bad little item.

Yeah, so it was fun. It was all right. It was, yeah, it was good. It was good to see the institution through new eyes.

Yeah. So got to go and pat some sheep. Mm-hmm. And, yeah, what else? What else cool? There's a big line up in pat a chicken. No thanks. Why do you want to fucking pat a chicken for?

Yeah, not an animal that you ever think of as very patable. No. No. No. And the big line and like I could just see like a bunch of kids lining up to pat

a chicken and just looking at them going, you're about to be reasonably disappointed. Yeah, yeah. You think, you've got a lot of trust

in your parents going, okay, I guess this is going to be good. We're lining up to pat an animal. It's like, I reckon I'd rather

pat maybe a lizard. Well, I don't know if you, that would be good. I don't know if you engaged with this this year, but this is always one of my favourite bits. And as proud new dog parents, me and my girlfriend are looking at QP every day and going,

he could be a show dog. We're genuinely entertaining the idea of like, get the little, you know, get the fucking little ramp and the hurdles. And it's like, this could be our lives. Travelling around from show to show. We've thought about it. Doing a little gig with our dog.

We've thought about it, but you've got to be realistic. It's like comedy, you know. It's full time. If you're a big fan of comedy, you've got to go, you've got to be realistic with yourself and go, do I like watching it or do I really want to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. So that's what it is.

Because Crunchy, our cat's's brother is like a show cat yep and so we're looking at that cat winning all the prizes and shit and going we could do that could be us our cat is pretty our cat could do all this stuff but then you had we had to stop and say to ourselves yeah cool do we want a couple of fucking ribbons for the pain in the ass of traveling around and meeting other freaks that give a fuck about cats? You think hanging out with other comedians is like a fucked existence? Yeah. Imagine the cat circuit.

I mean, yeah, I do like the idea, though, of like, let's say Kewpie becomes like a world-famous show dog and then me and him, we're going on tour together. Yeah. So it's like big theatre. I open up. Yeah, yeah. I do a set and then the stage gets reset with like the ramp and all the other stuff.

I'm opening for my dog. It's like no one's there to see me. Theater packed out to see the amazing QB do his little backflips. You're doing stand-up and then going, boo. Get your dog out and chuck her through a hoop. And it has to be, it's all dog-related material. This is what I think the people are going to want. And it's like it's doing fine, but it's like,

I'm committing the comedian hack trope of just like, any cat people in? Boo! Yeah, I didn't think so. This actually would be pretty fun. Getting onto like, you know when you get a knot in the hair of your dog and you're struggling through with a cone? Yeah, you know when you pick up his shit?

Yuck. We really should get on to the... Let's go, yeah. To the Stuart Hall of Fame. Yep. Thank you to everyone who currently subscribes to our Patreon at patreon.com slash little dum-dum club or you can go through our website and click on the link.

Always an interesting time of the week where I go through the unplanned title alternator and we click on the names that people subscribe and then you go do they currently subscribe? no oh okay

this person doesn't subscribe anymore they missed their chance thanks for subscribing for a little while and then going fuck this so please you people

and I've seen a bunch of names today get back on the horse why not why not join back? You get your two little bonus episodes every week. We're constantly churning them out. They're always a lot of fun.

Mondays and Fridays you get a little mini-app and there's 270 at time of recording. And the next little batch has one of the guests from this episode. Yes. And also nice to... We do constantly hear from people who, you know, have only just found the show and have worked their way through the show and it's like, I'll get the great announcement.

I finally finished all the episodes, all 600 and whatever episodes and then I'll be like, cool, now for the Patreon episodes, there's 200 and something of them and they're like, no, no, no, thank you. Yeah, I've had enough. Okay, cheers.

Yeah, that's more than enough you're welcome for the perhaps thousands of hours of content we've just given you yes yes fucking hell

anyway speaking of here's a greasy a squeaky wheel that's getting greased right now a greasy wheel a greasy wheel

is getting the squeak right now thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Joel Kramer. Okay. Long-time subscriber. Somehow slipped through the cracks. Hit me up the other week.

I've rigged the machine. Right. Took ages. And so what? He hit you up to say, read me out. Yeah. And then I assume you wrote back and said, hang in there, Kramer. Yes.

Yeah. So he's getting – and I think maybe he was skipped over at some stage because I don't know what his name was on the Patreon details. So sometimes when it's all a bit too hard, it's like, okay, next person. Yep, yep, yep. I see, I see. He might have gone back and refigured his profile. I mean, it's crazy to think that this guy needed to do some squeaking. Yes.

Because this is a great name. Exactly. Plenty to play with. Like two weeks ago, we had a fucking five duds in a row. Yeah. It was torture. This guy's Kramer. It was fucking hard work.

Kramer the C, old Cosmo, Joel Cosmo Kramer. Do you think you'd prefer that? Or if your name's Kramer, you know what I mean? You're already, when people hear it, they're already going to go, oh, Seinfeld. Yes. Do you think it's better or worse for it to not be like exactly the same name? To be a C instead of a K? Oh, yeah.

Do you think that's more, do you think you'd find that more annoying or less annoying? Just a little bit of a shame. Or just that little sort of slight sigh. Like I said, like I say Pablo, not Pablo, Joel Kramer. And then I have to say, oh, by the way, it's with a C. Yeah, it's like if your name was like Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people are hearing it and going, oh, that's crazy.

Are you related to Jerry? And you're like, no, no, no, sorry. You probably, it's kind of hard to pick up over, you know, audio. But's with a t it's not a d it's seinfeld yeah well good name i am it did make me think of jeremy seinfeld when i first read that name i maybe it's maybe it's just because of um what it did to us at the time and There's still aftershocks going through the system. But I didn't actually immediately think of Kramer from Seinfeld when I read the name. Really? Yes.

Wow. I guess this is growing up. You know what I did think of? What? Maybe the most infamous episode of this show, not of Seinfeld, of this show, when we had Pablo Francisco and his cohort at the time, a comedian called Steve Kramer. That's who I thought of.

Fuck, that guy's name was Kramer, wasn't it? Yes. Fuck yeah. And it was Kramer with a K. Yeah, yeah. Because immediately I went Joel Kramer and then I immediately went, fuck, hang on, was this the cunt that fucking talked to us with Pablo Francisco? Oh, yeah. Because immediately I went Joel Kramer, and then I immediately went, fuck, hang on. Was this the cunt that fucking talked to us with Pablo Francisco? Oh, right.

He got on the Patreon. He got back and listened to the show and then got on the Patreon. Fuck, I mean, it is fascinating to think of either of those guys ever finding out about the kind of legacy that they have on this show now. And, you know, first of all that, and then being coherent enough to fully understand what's being said to them well speaking of

what happened at the Melbourne show I've just I just went to Google Steve Kramer to see I was like fuck I've never heard that name ever again in my life it's gone Steve Kramer

Steve Kramer obituary so oh shit really maybe he did listen to this show and then is that really is that him no no no it might not be him damn I was going to say we should Oh, shit, really? Maybe he did listen to this show and then... Is that really, is that him?

No, no, no, it might not be him. Damn, I was going to say. We should, I think, you know what, weirdly, I think it's just about the one year anniversary of having, not one year, the anniversary of having done that episode. I have a feeling it was like not long before Grand Final. Really? Anyway, we should, I reckon we should start a thing where we revisit it yearly. Really?

We re-air it, we listen back to it, and we do a new, because that was, I feel like that was a turning point for Talking Dumb Dumb. Right. It's like we do this episode that we hate, and it's fucking really bad, and then we at least know that we get to come in off the back of it and have our commentary of it and i think a lot of people listening were like that was a train

wreck but hearing you guys talk about it afterwards kind of made it funny like your assessment of it turned it into its own thing rather than just having put up a dud episode right so if we just every year we re-listen we do a new we do a new commentary for the back of it. And, you know, we'll find new things in it every year. You know, you're probably a bit more like you're influenced by what's happened in your life over the last 12 months where you're like, yeah, you know what? This bit where he's impersonating an Asian man, it's kind of recontextualized for me in the last year or so.

Right. Asian man. It's kind of recontextualized for me in the last year or so. I've just looked at that guy's website and there is a, yeah, there's a lot going on. Okay. Steve Kramer or Pablo? Steve Kramer. Because like we've talked about Pablo, but we've, you know, I'm deep diving on Steve Kramer. By deep diving, I mean going to his website. Yeah. At the top of his, you know, you've got your own website. And, you know, home. You know, that's your classic. You've got a button for bio.

Sure. Yep. Contact. Of course. Yep. Services. Okay. Services.

Yeah. Have you ever clicked on a comedian's website and it says services? What do I offer? Yeah. Yeah. So his services are comedian, voice artist, artist and animator, music producer, guitar builds. Okay. So if you listen to that episode, if you like that episode with Pablo Francisco and Steve Kramer,

and then you went on a deep dive and then went, actually, yeah, I do want to... You know what? I've got a broken strat. Yeah. I mean, I've got a broken brain from listening to that show, but now I've also got a broken strat. Look, maybe I'm wrong, but I reckon you could also hit him up if you want to know about a good quality hair or beard dye.

Oh, really? I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got the old school. Show me a photo. I can't. You're going to love the photo. Maybe I've repressed all of this, but I can't remember what he even looked like.

You're going to love the photo. You're going to love the photo. Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Now, if you showed me a photo of just that photo and said, who is this? I would say to you, I've never seen that man before in my life. Go, it's too,

it's going to be too hard. I was going to say, go and look up the photo of us with him from that episode because that is not, he looks different. That is not the man

I remember. No. At all. No. Fuck. He's got the, he's got the classic, look,

I'll say it, he's got the classic old school Danny McGinley comedian look on him where he's got the suit jacket and the, the bit of a fun t-shirt underneath. He's got a Star Wars t-shirt underneath the suit jacket. Plus a hat. Yeah.

Brutal stuff. And he's got the, yeah, like I said, I think pretty heavily just for men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot going on. But I mean, maybe, look, I don't love that look for a comedian, but, you know, maybe it's a good guitar build look. I could, yeah. Guitar builder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, imagine that. If that's the industry look for guitar builder, maybe that's it. Go to the back of Manny's, there's a guy sitting there dressed like that. I'd believe it. I'd be into it. Anyway, that's a good Patreon read for Steve Kramer rather than Joel Kramer. Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, Joel.

That's a good Patreon read for Steve Kramer rather than Joel Kramer. Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, Joel. Look, Joel Kramer, who would you rather be more associated with? After looking at Steve Kramer's website, would you rather be more associated with him or with Michael Richards' K. On the stage of the Laugh Factory. Oh, just that gig specifically? That gig specifically. Oof.

Yeah. Yeah, look, I'd have to say Cosmo. Yeah. Well, you know what? Joel Kramer, I'll do as the other Kramer is famous now for, I'm going to say the N-word. I'm going to say, nice of you to subscribe to us on Patreon. Yeah, the N-word. Nice.

Well, nice. That's it. Nice. Thanks, Joel Kramer. Thanks, Joel. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, and we're back in the trenches. Thank you very much to Chris Smith. Oh, fucking hell.

This is the worst one we've ever had. No. Easily. No, Chris Smith. That's Chris with a C-H-R-I-S. Unlike the Chris Smith with a K, that was married to Danny Minogue. Oh, right. Must be nice.

Okay. Who was a former rugby player, and now he's just a... Danny? No. No. He's now just a man about town. You know those guys that... Fuck, that's the dream, honestly.

I'd love to just be known as a man about town. These guys that are just like... They get these... Look, as I've talked about before, my wife did used to work for an airline and they get ambassadors. That's what you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ambassadors that you just get signed up for X amount of K a year and you just rock up

to a few functions. I guess it's the old school. The term influencer is looked on it with such derision from people. But it's basically, it's the old school, it's the pre-social media version of that. Yes. You're just known for just popping up at things. No one could tell you what this person actually does to earn money.

Well, they're just always, they're always in the social pages. It's like, oh, I didn't, those guys I reckon would cop a lot of, oh, you work on that lifestyle show that's on Channel 9 at 3.30 on Sundays. It's like, no, I did 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, right, okay. And now they're just like turning up and they're the face of some sort of homemade soap or fucking something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So this guy's been, I don't know, it's like a medium. So Danny Minogue's ex-husband. Yeah. That's his life now. Yeah, I think so. He's just popping up at premieres and things of that nature. Yeah.

That's all right. Yeah. That's what... And look, I love for part of that. I love that he was a subscriber to this show. Like we've been talking about. We'd love a famous subscriber. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It'd be good to know that that's where that money is going. This is part of his man about towning. Yeah. Spotted in the little dum-dum club Patreon read. Spotted, yeah. Spotted on a train laughing at when two people say come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be pretty good.

Yeah. Speaking of... But to give back, to be an ambassador, to be earning that filthy lucre and then be putting it back over the counter to a podcast would be nice. Yeah. Like a lot of these people. It's like he sees kindred spirits. It's like, you know, he's seen as like a man about town and the man on the street assumes like that means you do fuck all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is very like a shared trait of the podcast. Yes. It's like, well, yeah, you got all comedy really. It's like, oh, yeah, you just work for 10 minutes a day, do you? You know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. But speaking of the tangentially of the Minogue dynasty, did you catch up on the Robbie Williams performance

for the AFL Grand Final? I watched literally no seconds of the AFL Grand Final this year because I had a big one the night before and then went to the Melbourne show, which is not a good combo, and then came home and went to sleep and then got up and went out again. Yeah, I know.

But have you caught up? No, no. Have you gone back in and watched it? I'd recommend it. It's good. Good? Yeah, as far as Grand Final, I mean, nothing's ever going to top

the legendary meatloaf performance that's yeah that's it that's clocked it yes in terms of like but it wasn't bad it wasn't like meatloaf was it no no but i mean the meatloaf one was terrible but it's like as a talking point it'll live forever right um you know but yeah it's a good performance as good as it can possibly be in the incredibly sterile environment of being in the middle of a big field, no one around you. Tough gig. It's in the day, so it's hard to have, you know, he's got backup dancers and fireworks

going off. It's like, yeah, it's daylight. Speakers are hundreds of meters away. You've got a couple of little monitors that are trying to help you out. Yeah. It would be very hard. Don't say a name watched it i believe or watch part of it and was like saying someone struggled a little bit and whatever and i was like oh

it's a tough gig i would never it would be yeah fucking brutal look what you mean like you go okay well i know it's a tough gig but it's not that tough like you i mean the weird thing is he had it as good as you can possibly have it because he was in the crowd yeah remember that was the year where they went like that's the other thing they've never quite known where to put it it's like like even robbie's thing kind of he started off like up against the crowd like up against the barrier and then the stage and then he kind of like moved further into the center and it's like why are you getting further away from the audience yeah that's such a it's a weird move it's a weird move like we know in comedy you've got to be close

to the audience and you're doing you're doing that the more distance between you and the audience the worse it is going to be so I was watching it

with my girlfriend and she was like oh fuck that would have been fucking so good to be there and see it I'm like I reckon it would

in the ground I reckon it would sound like shit yes it would sound muddy you wouldn't be able to see him. Yep.

It's all done for teeth. You know, he's mugging into the camera. Yep. He's not doing anything for the audience. No. It's also funny to see like this like- No performers. If you're a performer enjoying that gig, you're a psychopath.

Yeah. It's so funny too to see like this, you know, international superstar and he's in like the pink suit. You know, he's looking cool. He's, you know, he's performing really well. And then because it's daylight, just in the background, you can see some people, just some toothless cunts in the crowd. Just like some of the biggest lowbrits you've ever seen.

You're like just really bringing down the vibe. I have to say I was with them out in the showgrounds. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. You had the runners-up in the MCG that day, I believe. Okay. Because do they still do that at the show where they, on grand final day, they'll be playing the game just in like there's just a part of it where you can go and just watch the game on a big screen i didn't see that all right i did

see people walking around with scarves and all dolled up in the team colors i'm like you know there's another place you could be right yeah well it's like when there was the the drawn grand final for anyone outside of this country um like when there was the drawn grand final, for anyone outside of this country, there was a year where the grand final was a draw and there was at the time nothing really in place for if that should happen. So they got to the end and went, oh, I guess we'll just do it again next week.

So a lot of people made a lot more money and a lot of other people had their plans for the following week completely fucked up. Yes. Including there was a dance music festival on that some friends of mine went to. And so they had to go, I guess we'll put a screen up for people to... Oh, really? Because if your team's playing, it's like, you know, you do want to see it.

You spent $200 on this festival ticket. Yeah. But so it was just this apparently bizarre thing of people off their head on pings. Off their guts dancing to Collingwood v St Kilda. Yeah. Which then the follow-up was just a complete runaway. That's great. Yeah. So it was like over within the first quarter.

Right. Yeah, that's right. Fuck, that's funny. I need to have a drawing in the very next week. Just be like, oh no, this is a shit game. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Chris Smith.

Thanks, Chris. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Bron Livesy Livesy Livesy I see this name pop up a fair bit Yeah

On the old On the socials Sociales Yes Livesy This one you know what I'm gonna have It's one of those ones where

I have to go back and double check again Just to make sure I'm getting it right Livesy Yeah I've never quite In my head when I've read it, I've always been like, is that Livesy or Liverzy? Maybe it's Liverzy.

That's weird though. Surely it's Bron Liverzy actually in hindsight. But I like Livesy better. It's just like, Livesy! Like on this show, Limo!

It's just good to say. Liverzy, I feel like you would, if you were at a party and it was loud and you said your surname to someone, they'd be like, did you say your name's Bron Lizard? Right.

Bron Lizard. Probably like a few, well, I mean, you're not giving your full name out at Starbucks, but you'd have to assume there's the odd thing that's coming through. I think you should. Yeah. Bron Lizard. I want the whole name. I want my whole name on my coffee next time.

Well, you, as you know, the last time I went to the Royston on Grand Final Day, three years ago, so the last in-public Grand Final that we had. Instead of like online like you've been doing them at the Royston the last three years. Yeah, exactly. Zooming in. Zooming into the Royston. I booked the table over the phone. Oh, yes.

And turned up and the table was under the name Pom. Right, yes. And also my friend had called to add a table to my booking. Right. And they had gone, oh, yes, she called earlier. So that's been a... Oh, right, yes. So that's been a long-running thing in my group of friends.

So this year I go, well, I'm booking the table. A female called Pom on top of everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, well, yeah,

most of my friends now call me Pomela. Pomela. It's like, what do you think Pom is short for if you assume it's a female? Yeah, yeah,

yeah, Pomela. So, I booked a table this year. Did it, they had online booking now. Yep. They,

I mean, I think they were one of those venues pre-pandemic where they were like, either who's bothering to book or just come in, but you know, they've got the infrastructure there now. Yep. They, I mean, I think they were one of those venues pre pandemic where they were like, either who's bothering to book or just come in, but you know, they've got the infrastructure there now book online. I think, look,

you know, it's the first one in three years. We're going back to the scene of the crime. Yep. I'll put it through as palm. Yeah. This will be, this will be fun for when people turn up a bit of a callback,

but then the numbers blow out and I had to email the venue from my email account and go, um, yeah. Hi. I just wondering if I could add a few more people to my table for grand final day. The booking's under the name Pom and the guy writes back and goes and just not having a bar of it. Oh, really? Just writes back and goes, hi, Tommy, yes, we've done that for you.

So like not going, like getting this demented and going, like, what name is this? That's one of the most humiliating emails I've ever sent in my life. You're slightly lucky, I reckon, in that I think they, you know, the old Australian nickname of anyone from England, you'd just been called Pom. Oh, sure. Yeah. So, maybe that's it. You would give it, I mean, surely you'd give it the benefit of the doubt and be like, this isn't someone taking out a loan. It's like, you can have a fucking different name on the thing. Yeah. So maybe that's it. You would give it, I mean, surely you'd give it the benefit of the doubt and be like, this

isn't someone taking out a loan. It's like, you can have a fucking different name on the thing. Yeah. But I mean, look, my friend was like, do you want to call them up? And I was like, I just, I mean, I don't like being on the phone anyway, but I was like, I cannot deal with having this interaction over the phone. I'm going to try and email. And if I don't hear back within a day, then I'll hop on the phone.

Did you think for a second to just email them and make a new gmail and just be like pom pom at gmail i mean if i could get that yeah pomola dasilo that'll be good pomola yeah but uh bronola because i the secret hope i i should have done it over the phone because the secret hope was they would fuck it and it would be right this time right that would be the perfect full circle in the old to the saga two wrongs make a right exactly waiting waiting three years to have another bite at the pommel a cherry what did you uh what'd you eat what do you reckon cheesesteak nope uh palmer yeah okay it's good palmer down there it is good palmer very good palmer i like the i love a side coleslaw. I love it. Yeah, it's a good coleslaw.

I know a side salad is like most people would go, who gives a fuck? But I tell you what, when you get a place where they've done more than just chuck some leaves from a bag from coles, it really does make the whole thing just kind of come together. It's a good one there. Yeah. It's a good one. I'm not a big fan of coleslaw, but I very much enjoy theirs. Yeah. I don't leave anything on the plate down there.

God, I had a great day of eating. Parma for lunch. A few cheeseburger sprinkles halfway through the game. Oh, yeah. And then we get back to kick-ons. Big old order from Domino's coming through. Oh. I was fucking living the dream on grand final day.

Wow. I felt more relation than a Geelong supporter, honestly. That was your mad Monday. Yeah. No, it truly was. I'm trying to think of what I had at the show. Look, I'm not rapt about it. I'm not completely happy about it, but I feel like I still need to do it.

I do like to go to the toasted cheese sandwich stall, but I'm still not over a few years ago where it's evolved from a cheese on sandwich stall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm still not over a few years ago where they – it's evolved from a cheese on toast stall. That's what I wanted, to go and buy cheese on toast at a stall. So not a sandwich, just one piece of bread with cheese on it. Yeah, do you remember that? No. They used to have a cheese on toast stall.

I'm like, I find it so funny that you could buy cheese on toast in its own shop and now it's like toasted cheese sandwich. Well, you can buy them fucking anywhere. You can't buy cheese on toast. You can make cheese on toast in its own shop. And now it's like toasted cheese. Well, you can buy them fucking anywhere. You can't buy cheese on toast. You can make cheese on toast at home so easily. I know, but you can make everything at home. You're complaining about having to pay extra for a half and half pizza on this episode. What are you paying for cheese on toast out there?

Like 10 bucks? No. No, it was like $2 or whatever. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. On parody with the Birdie Beetle show bag. Yes. The two of them are locked in.

It's like, if you guys change your price, we've got to change ours. Yeah. We're in this together. Yes. As the two cheapest things at the show. That's your main dessert. Yeah. Cheese and toast and Birdie Beetle afternoons.

It is funny now that they, I assume they did this again this year, they have like the Master Chef pavilion out there. Yes, we walked through it, yeah. It's like it's so, it's just so at odds with what people of my slash your generation will go onto the show for. Yeah. You go on there for fucking rot. Yeah.

Not for a beautiful lesson in how to make a cock-o-var. Yeah. Yeah, we did walk through it. I don't know why we walked through it, but we walked through it for sure. Yeah. But I just like the idea, you go to the show and there's the one cheese on toast vendor in the world. I feel like that would be the only shop that only sells cheese on toast. Everyone sells fucking toasted cheese sandwiches.

And also, it's pretty funny to imagine the cheese sandwich place next door being like, man, this extra slice of bread is killing us. These guys are just taking the piss. And now they've done that every year. They have someone comes in and goes, why'd you put the fucking, why'd you wreck your shop? Why'd you have to put the fucking extra piece of fucking toast on top? Someone. Who could it be?

It's a mystery. Who could it be who's saying that? Surely they don't remember me from three years ago. So what's happened this year? Sandwiches now. Yeah, sandwiches. Sandwiches for the last bunch of years yeah yeah sure last a couple years and then some fucker someone's complained yeah someone's gone there's not enough bread so i what diet i ate one of them and then i ate a uh they had a particularly nice looking indian stall there oh yeah yeah. So I got in the Indian stall. I had, by the way, I had maybe the best cheese sandwich of my life in Singapore.

Really? Like a fancy cocktail bar. And a couple of people posted after we both talked about Singapore, like, oh, I'm going. Any recommendations? And I just put a thing of all the places I went and then just a little bit about what they are. And that one, I felt like a fucking idiot being like, great cocktail bar and a beautiful cheese sandwich. I would have gone if I... But truly, it's like a three cheese, like Gruyere and like thick bread

and like nicely buttered on top and like shit loads of cheese in there. Fuck, it was so good. If you would have said this, if we had reversed our trips and you would have gone before me, I would have definitely gone to check that out. Yeah, yeah. Well, if you're in Singapore go to No Sleep Club

and get a it's like I think it's in the top cocktail bars in the world. Great stuff there. And yeah, beautiful cheese sandwich. I'm going to Google it

just to see if I can get a picture of it. Oh, yeah. It might be on there. No Sleep Club Singapore Go in and ask for ask for Baby Daryl. Big shout out to Baby Daryl on there. No Sleep Club. Singapore. Go in and ask for Baby Daryl.

Big shout out to Baby Daryl who works at No Sleep Club. Baby Daryl Summers. Beautiful boy. If they are a fancy cocktail bar and they have a picture of toasted sandwiches on their website. That's pretty funny if they do. That's quite good. If that's the like... It is.

Yeah. I do love a place. We were down at Mount Martha the other day. if they do. That's quite good. If that's the, if that's the like, it is, yeah, I do love a place. We were down at, we went down to Mount Martha the other day and on the way we stopped at Mount Eliza for just a quick lunch

on the way to like, kind of small town style like chicken slash fish and chip shops next door to each other. Yeah.

One of them, just a text menu. The other one, visual menu. Photos one, visual menu. Photos of everything. And even if you realise it's like the photos have probably just come from Google Images, so that's not actually the food, you're always going to gravitate towards the visual menu.

Right. It drives me crazy when you're looking up a place online and it's like, or you go into like Zomato and there's just like, someone's gone in there and taken the worst photos of the food that you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. And been like, hey guys, a bit of an insider track. Here's what the bolognese looks like.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like lit badly. It's taken on like an old Nokia. Yep. What are you, are you having any luck here? You know what, they're hiding it from me a little bit, but. I wonder, oh fuck, I wish I should have taken a photo. I don't think I did.

I think I'm getting a real bad sneak preview at the top of the page. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, what is that? It's like a fraction of a fucking sandwich or something, I think. I also don't know if that's them or not. I think it is.

Oh, is it? Okay. I thought their branding was all different anyway. Let me see if I've got a photo. I don't think... I was trying to document all this shit over there, but I think I also was just getting too carried away with eating. I don't think a toasted cheese sandwich is the priority of this bar.

I don't think they're... No, I don't think... I mean, they're known for their cocktails. Their food is really good, but I don't think they're as fussed about letting the people know what the cheese sandwich looks like. I think they're as fussed about letting the people know what the cheese sandwich looks like. Yeah. I think they're trying to hide it.

They're ashamed? Yeah. Damn. They're too cool of a bar to admit they've got a nice little fucking toasted cheese sandwich. I think my friend who I was with probably got a photo of it, so I'll ask him. All right. I'll ask him if he's got one, and we can post it online. Great.

I feel like we've fucking talked about this long enough now. We owe it to the people. Yes. What did you do on your trip to Singapore, Tommy? I got a toasted cheese sandwich. It was really nice. I didn't take a picture, but my friend has. I'll get back to you.

All right. Well, thanks, Bron. Thanks, Bron Lizard. Thanks, Bron Lizard. Or as I hope it is, Livesey. Livesey. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Melinda Hildebrand. Melinda Hildebrand. That's a nice sounding name.

It is. Yeah, yeah. Very flow. Melinda Hildebrand. Melinda Hildebrand. It's very like hilda bridgerton style kind of vibe it's that it's that almost like it's almost the same in both names with the l linda linda hilda yeah yeah yeah it's not like what would you call it it's not alliteration no like phonetic alliteration almost like because those bits are in the middle of the words rather than at the starts or anything like that.

It's like fucking idiots. It's almost like a – yeah. It's almost like a – something that's – what is it that's the same forward as these backwards? I think it's time for us to start the poll. If we dropped this bit of the show, would you notice or care? I feel like we've always felt like it's too, you know, the answer would be too devastating. But, I mean, finding out that literally three people listen to this

and we can just not be talking about, oh, Melinda, they sort of sound the same, and get this hour back into the week. God, that'd be – imagine that. Imagine if you'd gotten up today and had the whole day clear to do other stuff because this is us um like we've already recorded the other part of the show last week this is a special trip yeah you've had to make to my house to do this yeah this is this is sort of like you have to blank out all morning no totally to do this i'm trying to i'm hoping i can pack the gym in after this yeah i'm gonna be fucking racing home to get that yeah to get that over the line.

Well, that's what I did. I did gym and then I did a run before this because I was like, you know what? I'm not going to let this fuck my day. I'm not going to let my job fuck up my entire day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My girlfriend woke up and wasn't feeling well and had to work and she's like, oh, fuck.

It's so... Oh, I'm running late. Yeah. Can I borrow the work. And she's like, oh, fuck. Oh, I'm running late. Can I borrow the car? And I was like, you can't. I need it. To drive across town and record an hour of, not the podcast, the thing after the podcast that no one listens to. Leaving the dog by himself.

Sorry, mate. I've got to go. I sent my wife out of the house. You have to go somewhere else. Where should I go? I don't know. It's not my problem. It's a beautiful world out there.

Not my problem. There's lots of stuff. Don't want to record your podcast. Surely there's a toasted cheese sandwich out there that you can go and take a picture of. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Not that any of this is Melinda's fault, by the way.

No. And also, like... But in a big way... A lot of people out there going, wow, is that the problem with your job? Fucking hell. Yeah, no, true. True.

The only reason I'm listening to this fucking podcast is because I've got to drive to fucking West Wyalong in the next couple of hours. And it's 3am in the morning. And I'm on a lot of speed. Very true. But I mean, you know, everything's relative. All you can really compare things to hours and yeah and it's 3 a.m in the in the morning and i'm on a lot of speed very true but i mean you know everything's relative all you can all you can really compare things to is through your own prism of how you live your life and god people do love to do that don't they oh

oh you're not sleeping because of this are you will try having four kids it's like yeah but i don't i'm sorry that i don't have four kids yeah i'm sorry that your life is so much harder than everyone else's it's so fair it's that's their experience yeah to hear our bullshit complaints i'm with you yeah i wish i wasn't complaining about this i wish i had a shit boring me nearly as much as it's boring me i wish my life was worse yeah yeah so i could relate to you yeah but i mean then you would have no idea that I exist. Yeah. But you know.

Yeah, we're all fucked. We're all idiots. Everyone's, at the end of the day, everyone's miserable on some level. Yeah. Yeah, well, we're not miserable. This is, what a joy. Well, the funny thing is, I've probably said before, but I remember like when I had the last proper, like, I mean, I have day jobs before, but I remember when I had the last proper...

I mean, I have day jobs where I go and write for TV and stuff like that, but in terms of a proper 52-week-a-year job with a couple of weeks of vacation or whatever, I remember the last time I had one of them. And what I used to do was I used to steal 10 minutes and pretend I needed to go to the toilet and go out and write comedy on the toilet. Yeah. Go, imagine if my whole life was like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where I could just do comedy in my whole life. And now I just do a fucking podcast and everything else and then still don't, I think I might have had more time to write comedy back then when I was on the dunny. Yeah. Maybe I need to structure, maybe I need to take a five minute break in the middle of this podcast to go and sit on my own toilet and write some stand up. Oh, that'd be all right. I mean, yeah, that's the thing.

It's like when it's in contrast to something else, you make the time. You find the time. Well, instead of 10 minutes a day writing comedy on the toilet, it feels like the rest of my life is comedy slash toilet related. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In terms of quality at least. Yeah. Love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life. This is, the toilet is now my job, this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The toilet show. Yeah. Well, thanks Melinda Hildebrand. Thanks Melinda Hildebrand. For letting us have a tiny little mental breakdown and midlife crisis within your name read. Yep. Oh, by the way.

That's what you've inspired. Speaking of writing material on the toilet. If you're in Brisbane, come and see me on Thursday night at Good Chat doing a work in progress show of... Toilet. Toilet. Yeah. Toilet gear. An hour of toilet.

That I'll be reading notes that are written on Dunny Roll. Right. Because I didn't take a notebook in because I think that's disgusting. But I took a little pen and just scribbled off and pulled that off the roll and then used the rest to wipe my ass with. That would be good if a bit doesn't work, you wipe your ass with it. That's a fucking great concept. That's good.

That's a great concept for a work in progress. Yes. Yes. You stick the good bit to the wall and you wipe your ass with bits that don't work. Yeah, yeah. That's good. All right. Pull your pants down and go, yuck.

Yep. Daddy goes poo-poo. Yep. All right. I'll bring a roll. I'll pinch a roll from the hotel and bring it in on Thursday night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

All right. Well, look, we've That's good. All right. Well, look, we've done enough of this. We both need to. I've got to go pump iron. Oh, well, I've got to go and eat protein to make the most of all the iron. Oh, yeah, just a fucking whole chicken. That's it. That's it.

Man, it's fucking, it's not depressing, but I do find it funny to go to the gym. And I've been going to the same gym for years. And look, I'm not swollen anyway, but I like the idea of people. There are people that I've seen for years in there and they must look at me and go, so what are you doing in here, by the way? Yeah, I've seen you here for years. You do your little bits and pieces and then you leave and it's like, has there been any noticeable difference? Why do you this is the law of like this is the the psychopath test you keep doing the same thing for no results well i i kind of have the same thing

at um at my f45 there's people who are already quite svelte and they're in there all the time and i go what are you doing and then it's like I realize, oh, you just maintained that. It is maintained. Yeah. It's like you got to go into, you know. Hey, this isn't great, but it could be a lot worse. Yeah, yeah, for sure. This will do. I'm all right with this.

For sure. This is the baseline. For sure. Thanks, Melinda Hildebrand. Thanks, Hilda. Melinda Hilda. Let's do one more, one more. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

Oh, thank you very much to Kramer Comedy. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, the C word. Yeah. Comedy. Oh, wait. Yeah.

Comedy with a K or C? K, let's say. And Kramer with a K. With a C. Fuck's sake, he's halfway there. Yeah. Or two thirds of the way there. The C, the other C word.

Yeah. Comedy. Yep. Yep. All right. Let us know if we should bother doing this ever again. Or the first half of the show as well, if you want. Come to the live show, the live podcast.

It's on October 22nd, Saturday nights at the Comic Search. It's proudly brought to you by Comedy. That's Comedy with three Ys. Yep. .com.au. And that is, as we talked about, if you sign up to our Patreon, you'll hear a couple of episodes lately where our friend Milan, he's sort of, you know, half behind that company, ComedyWith3Wise.com.au. And you'll hear all about the company. But he's, go to that website. Like their page on Facebook.

Whatever you can. Like the Instagram. Yeah. There's a bunch of new comedy content that they are going to bring down the pipeline very quickly to you. And they are supporting the show. They are supporting the live podcast. They are supporting the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame. The Oz Comedy Hall of Fame.

Yeah, the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. And they'll be there to maybe hand over the big prizes. How exciting. Get along. Get along to that live show. Get your tickets now. Go to our website. Do everything we've ever said.

Thank you. Bye.